Hollywood Handbook - Jessica Williams, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: August 18, 2014

Sean and Hayes memorialize their friend Robin with a good story and have some bones to pick with how people online are expressing themselves. Then they talk about the controversial Let's Be Cops and some of Sean's own experiences with cops. Finally, JESSICA WILLIAMS is around to discuss the big stories from the news and answer Popcorn Gallery questions about the word "news," being Native American, and her large arms.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. oh, that's my parking spot. And I smashed her windshield. I had a little rock hammer in my hand. You were geocaching. Yes, I was geocaching. That's why I was there. You've got to get there first. Well, you've got to get there first, or you can get there third and have a reserved parking spot, which I did.

What was in the geocache? Gems. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook. Hi, what up, what up? You guys are kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet lineback hallways of this industry we call showbiz. Are we going to talk about it? Are we not going to talk about it? You're sitting there and you're thinking, is it going to happen?

Are they going to do it? We are. We are going to talk about it. We are going to talk about it. We are going to talk about Robin. Sean are going to talk about it. We are going to talk about Robin. Sean has a story that I love about Robin. And I think rather than, you know, just like go over what's already been gone over about like his.

Well, there's a lot of general things people talk about, but then there's the specific, which often represents the whole. To contribute something to the conversation that no one else can instead of just saying boo-hoo. Yes, and that's not what we're here to do. We're not here to cry. We're here to celebrate his journey.

And I remember when he was just starting out, he was a kid, maybe 13. He was a beat reporter for Entertainment Weekly, probably. Anyway. He was doing the Hollywood beat for them. Yes, he was just starting out with his little notepad. Yes. Adorable. And we're at the Miramax party, Oscar after party, and I've won won again and I've got this sort of arm load of booty to take home

back when I actually bothered taking them home and didn't just leave them with the valet. And he comes up to me and he's got his list of questions, which is standard boilerplate stuff. Yes. Are you happy you won? Do you like winning? Yeah.

Don't the losers look foolish now? Yes. And he does his questions, and I give it to him. And I kind of taught him how to be funny in the meantime. Told him to reference things and do, I said, do your accents. reference things and do, you know, I said, do your accents. And I remember him, it landing for him and him getting it and him seeing how to be funny from me and starting to walk away. And he's almost to the door and I go, hey, kid, don't you want to hold it?

And he stopped and he went, oh boy, are you serious, mister? And I said, once in a lifetime chance, kid. And I hand him one of the Oscars. And he looks up at me and he's got it with both hands. He almost falls over and he goes, boy, I know it's a cliche but uh jesus sure is heavy sir and i looked at him and i went as it should be don't you think and i let him keep that oscar too

yes and so that's why that movie and now they say oscar winning well it's really just oscar getting yeah oscar getting well he he won it by being in the right place at the right time Oscar winning, well, it's really just Oscar getting. Yeah, Oscar getting. Well, he won it by being in the right place at the right time, which was near me when I was in a good mood. I will say there's a tenor to the conversation, now that he's gone, that I found to be very selfish. The way people are talking about this, it's very me, me, me. It's been disappointing some of the reaction where everyone is saying,

they're rightly upset, but they're upset for the wrong reason where they're going, oh no, this is ruining my day. Now I don't get to watch any more crazy ones. Yes, and they're mad at Robin because they say, like, this jerk, he took my favorite show away. And that's not us. That's them. That's them saying that. He stole my show from me.

Mm-hmm. And that's not really fair, is it? And I would prefer that not only do we focus on you know what was going on with him it seems like he had a lot of issues of his own separate from the crazy ones also that he did other things in his career yes for better or worse this man had an entire catalog of cinema movies can we talk about that can we tell stories about our experiences with him maybe like you you met him at some point yes i met him but i think there are other people out there who are remaining mom who may have at one time been at a show where he walked in and maybe they were doing it i would

love to hear that story instead of what i am hearing. And can I please, I'm sorry, Hayes, but can I please see somebody's Facebook profile pic changed to a pic where they're in a green room with him? I mean, it was a good show. It was a funny show. But this is a person who had a life. He had a whole rich life. we're missing it we're just missing the whole conversation well it's less me me me it's completely insensitive in so many ways number one it's insensitive to me i like to surf the web i like social media and i want to see

people changing their profile picture that's news secondly when you bring that up, how do you think it makes Sarah Michelle Gellar feel? That's her dad. That was her dad, yes. And also, I mean, I think she is going to keep doing the show. And so to act like you're sad because now it's somehow going to be less of a show just because it's Sarah Michelle now. No, they're going to get Dennis Quaid in there. Because it's Sarah Michelle now. No, they're going to get Dennis Quaid in there.

So anyway, a big nano-nano to our friend Robin. A couple big movies at the box office this week. Guardians did very well. Turtles did very well. Turtles did very well. But there seems to be some backlash about this movie, Let's Be Cops. People seem to be taking a political stance on it. Well, I'm of two minds about this film. On the one hand, it's a funny comedy and i like to laugh and i like to have fun on the other hand it's a bit cynical and a bit jaded that they did assemble this movie in about four days in response to some of the police cop stuff that's been going on yes there's a cop

thing going and the whole The whole Ferguson protest business. And I think the people who made this movie, they got together and said it's not really fair what some of the people are saying about cops right now. Because cops is funny. And we knew that only a month ago when we were watching 22 Jump Street. Yes, and now people are saying cops isn't funny. And so let's do this four-day movie. We can get it out today's Monday. We can get this out by Friday. And then the idea, people will start to want to be cops again.

Yeah. Which is, okay, it is, I think, a positive mission the movie's on. Yes. But at the same time, it's hard to feel really good about what I think was a bit of a cash grab where they thought, well, we're cops in the news, we'll be in the news with the movie. And so I think that, again, I'm of two minds, and now I'm thinking I'm of three or maybe of four minds about the movie because I am finding more minds the more that I think about it. And you're coming from a place to begin with of not wanting to be cops ever. No.

Well, do we even talk about that? Well, we can talk about it a little bit. When I was a teenager, I beat up a cop. And I beat him up so bad that they basically said, well, they basically said, do you want to be a cop now? Because obviously we shouldn't have this guy out here trying to arrest people. And it was... Let's get him on our side. He had pulled me over and I was doing my speeding and listening to my rock music too loud. And this old man wanted to kind of shake me down.

And he got a nasty surprise in the version of a big uppercut right to his chin knocked his head clean off his body but i can see how that would undermine your faith in being cops that here you are you know these are your heroes and here you are just beating them up well yeah there's yeah first of all it made me realize police cops isn't always good guys. Because this guy's being a mean guy. And he got what he deserved. But it also makes me feel, is cops really as strong as what we say? People, yes.

The myth of cops is that they're also strong. And I want to be thought of as strong because I'm strong, not because I have cop clothes on. And that's the truth. It's another myth sort of perpetuated by the movie is that putting on cop clothes

is not just making you strong. Like the idea is that these characters become strong and like have these super cop powers just by putting on cop clothes. And that's not how it worked. And you can ask, you know, Officer Timsley,

who, you know, unfortunately no longer has a head on his body, from the one big punch. And a seated punch from inside my car. It was convertible, so I had room. Yeah. But from the one big punch. Mm-hmm. Separated his spine.

Your left? It was a left hook. I'm right-handed. Yeah, and you used your left arm to uppercut, so he would have come up to your window. Yeah. And you blasted his head off. Yeah, he leaned over and he said,

Now you turn down that darn music and don't let that Axl Rose poison your brain. He's singing about the devil. And I said, Well, religion causes most of the wars in the world, sir. And he said, Well, I'm on the front lines of the war against you being a juvenile delinquent. And that just set me off. I punched his head clean off his body. And it landed in Nebraska. And this happened in Utah.

And then it was all the news in Nebraska. Yeah. Cophead washes the shore. We have a great guest today. Jessica Williams williams is here from the daily show she's gonna be right up on hollywood handbook so the bedbugs man comes in and i said yeah okay yes well these are the bed bugs. I'd like you to get rid of them. Well, it looks like that's Ellen Page and Mara Wilson. And I'm like, yes, I'd like you to get rid of my bed bugs.

They were staying in my bed. Yes, and then did he spray them or something? Yeah. Yeah, he had to spray them, and then they sort of shriveled up into a little coil. What up, what up? Welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet lineback hallways of this industry we call showbiz. We have a really great guest today. Jessica Williams is here.

Hey, hello. Thank you so much for coming. It's so exciting for us you're i mean compared to us you're um you're very very young but we've been we've been following your career uh pretty closely we're we're excited to see you doing so well i think um we but where did we first meet jessica was it at the um anti-bullying outreach thing yes was that where it was? Where we would go around just destroying bullies? Yes, where we would make bullies feel about this big

and you can't see at home but I'm indicating with my fingers a very small size and we would really pick on those bullies. We really changed a lot of minds

today actually. It's nice, you know, to do something good for people and, you know, this bullying thing has become a real problem when what they need is strong celebrities to go around Yes. It's nice to do something good for people. This bullying thing has become a real problem when what they need is strong celebrities to go around

punching some of the... Yes, beating up the bullies and also... And protecting nerds. Yes, because nerds aren't confident enough. And they're not putting themselves out there in a big way. And I think Hayes and I represent, I don't know if you know, but a lot of people are surprised to learn

we're actually nerds and we're into some pretty nerdy stuff. I didn't know that. You wouldn't know it to look at us because we have big muscles. But the truth is we read comics and we... So does that make you nerdy? What sort of things do you... Well, we look at Star Wars.

You look at it. Yes. I'll look at it all day long. And I'll be like, oh, I'll be like, good, that is what space would do. Because a lot of times people don't. Some people watch it, but they're not real nerds, so they don't know that the space science a lot of times is completely accurate. Right. Do you ever read science books?

No. No, I don't. I don Do you ever read science books? No. No, I don't. I don't really read any science books or anything. What kinds? Do you read history books? I do not also. I like Wikipedia. I kind of dabble in that.

Those books, yeah. Some Reddit, subreddits. Oh, those are some funny books. Those aren't books. But I really just kind of try and stay aware. In general, I watch a lot of the news just because of work. Yes, of course. You're doing the news.

And so refreshing. For people who don't know, Jessica's here from The Daily Show, right? With the host. And we love it. the Daily Show, right? With the host, and we love it, and we so often are talking about Hollywood news here. Can I fan out

just real quick for a second? Please. Just as I love the show, and I love watching the show. What's it like Kilborn like when he's not doing the show? is he the same like is he still like that cool

and funny or yeah like you know what I would imagine you know that he is you know

does he ask you five questions does he ask you five questions does he do the five questions with his head exploding yes yeah no no no

I mean he you know hasn't been around for a while and kind of when he left the show I was about eight, so we don't really have that sort of relationship.

Is he not coming back? My understanding was he was just taking an extended moment of zen. Yeah, no, no, no. He won't be coming back, which is really interesting. Well, good luck. Yeah, definitely for him and his family. Yeah, for the show, yeah. Yeah, you know, we love him there.

Yeah, I like John, but not a dancer. But that was interesting. Thank you. The news that we love. Let's talk more about the news. We're major news junkies. There's a lot of thick-head pea brains in this town, and we can't always discuss the news in the intelligent way that we'd like to.

And so to have another news junkie who's glued to the subreddits and stuff that we like is really refreshing. Why don't you start with a piece of news and then I'll say one. Yes. Just some really good news that you like.

Just some juicy news. We'll know it too, but you can say one news piece. Sure. The World Health Organization just announced that maybe this Ebola outbreak is pretty unprecedented in terms of size. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. The president has never. Yes. The president has what? Has never what you said you said he's getting bigger you said they should basically impeach him we should be unprecedented in this country because he's really you know letting the ebola president obama is what i think it actually is yeah unprecedented obama yeah but not what and let's get him unprecedented for once. Right. And that's kind of the talk of the country right now is trying to get President Obama unprecedented in this nation.

Yes. And it is really, really causing just like sort of a split and just sort of a state of kind of unrest in different social classes and different races all across the United States. Yes. So there's a lot, you know, with the Ferguson case. And is it a coincidence that we have a president who was born in Africa and now we have a disease from Africa? Right, right. Well, we kind of don't have it yet, you know?

No, I don't have it because I wash my hands. Sure. But a lot of people in other parts of the country either don't have the water to do it or you know the resources or anything available yes that's why we have that's why we have engineer cody behind that little shield today because okay yeah i don't know if you noticed his his sneeze shield uh but he's been sneezing like a fool ever you know the last couple weeks and we're just trying to contain it to that corner of the room.

Well, there's a lot of hand sanitizer here. Yes, that's for him to drink. And he loves it. Oh, yeah. He actually does like it. It's his little baba. And he likes to drink from his baba and we just open up the little tube and we put his baba of hand sanitizer in

and he just sucks it right down it actually is calming to me to watch him enjoy his baba of hand sanitizer it really lets me calm down and relax because I get so stressed out thinking about all this news I mean you know

look you came here from New York which we love New York. Yes, we're obsessed with it. Oh, that's my New York. When's the last time you guys have been to New York? Wow. It's got to have been. Is it before? I know there was a big blackout. All that Son of Sam stuff was going on. Sure, sure. It was a couple years ago.

It was a pretty scary time to be there. That's, yes. That's right, the Summer of Sam, yeah. And I remember... He was killing everybody! Yeah, and even punk rockers like me and Hayes weren't safe. We were big in the punk scene at that time. You guys were punks too?

And nerds? The Dolls, we would go check out the Dolls at the Mercer Arts. I love how bad they were at their instruments. No, this was the New The Dolls. We would go check out the Dolls at Mercer Arts. Was the Goo Goo Dolls? I love how bad they were at their instruments. No, this was the New York Dolls, which was like a New York version of the Goo Goo Dolls. Got it, got it, got it, got it. I think I've heard of them. Yes, I loved that they couldn't play instruments and that they wore those funny dresses. They were just like a funny, just a funny band.

Yeah, and it was fun to crack up. Yeah. Because amidst all the murders that Sam was doing. And that's the thing, too, is, like, with all this news and, like, murder and stuff, it's so nice to, like, have some time to laugh, you know? Yes. Yes. With all this murder happening, yes.

There's so much murder. Mm-hmm. So it is nice to just kind of sit back and just have a good laugh. Mm-hmm. Now, you guys are dealing with Lynn Sanity over there. So it is nice to just kind of sit back and just have a good laugh. Now, you guys are dealing with Lynn Sanity over there. We might still be going through Lynn Sanity. I know.

I'm still going through Lynn Sanity. Yes. Yes. And it's so crazy because I feel like a lot of people have chosen to move on from Lynn Sanity. But me personally, I can't let it go. How disrespectful of them to act like it never happened. I can't even, it hurts. Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it, and I think that you're going to have another Linsanity problem on your hands

unless you really take a good look at it the way that you've chosen to do. Yeah, I'm always honestly, like the Linsanity hashtag on Twitter is still pretty active. Yes. And I think it's nice every now and then to just sort of dip back in the search and search hashtag Linsanity and see that there is sort of a community. Yes. There are subreddits there that you can find and just really connect with your fellow Los Angeles. And for listeners without smartphones, hashtags are like these kind of – they're almost – they're like these crazy little funky little – they're like at midnight.

They're like at midnight. It's a symbol that you, where you listeners come from, you would see on like a brand. That you would heat it up and you would put it on a cow's butt. But we put it in our phones. Well, you know what it is too? It's like, you know when you're reading one of your comic books, I know you're a nerd, and somebody's saying an expletive, sometimes it'll be F, like at sign, a hashtag kind of thing. And they have a bunch of other symbols. That's also in there as well. One of those. Yes. And then a bunch of other symbols. Yes. That's also in there as well.

One of those. Yes, that's right. And X-P-L-E-T-I-V-E because of X-Men. Mm-hmm. Taking it back for the nerd. That's for nerds. You have a nerd demo. Yes.

You're obviously working. Yes. I respect that. Did you mention Ferguson? The Ferguson riots. Okay. So obviously you'll have a perspective on this that we don't because, you know, you work in late night television. People are really – they were really pushing for Ferguson to stay.

Yes. Yes. To take over. Yes, there's been a bunch of – for anyone who's been living under a rock, you know, Craig Ferguson is stepping down. And there's been riots, you know, specifically in the south from people who don't think they're going to find a good replacement. It's scary. It's scary. Yeah. Craig was so loose and so freeform.

There was something really free. Like my parents didn't get him, but I got him. Yes, our generation gets him. Well, I might be a little younger generation than the two of you. Right, well, the 25 to 60s. I'm a little younger than that. Yes, the younger ones, yeah. Because of that funny, that skeleton that he used to have around.

And it's so nice to see a skeleton not have to be so scary and spooky I hate spooky things and so it was nice to have tell us about it yes

just like ghosts like Halloween decorations and monsters monsters in general yes Frankensteins yes I mean honestly

who comes up with this? I don't know. They should be quartered. Or even sometimes it can be an owl that's scary. Yeah. Speak on that. Owls are interesting. I actually have a love-hate relationship with owls.

Oh, yes. Yes. I really grew up loving Harry Potter. I started reading those books. They touched me at such a young age. But that book really instills a love for owls. They're not, you know, J.K. Painted the owls not as spooky, but as messengers.

They can be your friends, yes. They can be your friends. They can be your messengers fighting for you. Similar to what Ferguson is doing with the skeleton, though. Yeah. The skeleton, you know, because it is taking something that traditionally has been pretty scary. But honestly, it doesn't have to be because we all do have these bones. Yes, we do.

Even funny guys, nice guys, and even nerds like us have these bones. We've all got a skeleton. Yes, it's true. When you take all the mess away, you know? Yes, all the messy skin and muscles. Yes, if you dip someone in acid, you know, and then there'd be a skeleton in there. Or the dip, the dip from Roger Rabbit. Would they ever have a skeleton in there?

That seems to disintegrate everything. That seems to make everything go away. Yes, you wouldn't see the little baby shoe skeleton. It would just be, I know, isn't that sad for you? It was really hard, yeah. Because you were, I mean, you have your stage name now, but you were once Jessica Rabbit. Do you want to tell us about that?

Well, yeah, well, that's kind of what I was named after. When that film was in its peak time and when it was released, my parents made me. Yeah, we saw a lot of Jessica Rabbits back then. There was a big boom in the Jessica and the Roger. Very common name. About nine months after that film took number one at the box office, you were meeting a lot of little baby Jessica Rabbits. And I was definitely just sort of raised to be a strong Jessica Rabbit-esque figure.

You weren't necessarily bad, but you had been drawn that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, drawn. Yes. So, yes. And then you just recently changed your last name. I did. I did. To Williams. In honor of Robin Williams.

Yeah. Because, you know, he was one of my heroes. And so I called my parents. I asked if it was okay. They said, we don't care. You don't live here anymore. But remember your heritage. Remember where you come from.

Remember the rabbit. Yes. The rabbit the rabbit. Yes. The rabbit last name. Yes. And how Judge Doom is bad. He's still a bad guy. Yes, yes. I think he was secretly a cartoon under there.

Okay, I don't want to get into these conspiracy theories. That's my take. He seems like a normal guy, but I think underneath he actually might have secretly been a cartoon. That's interesting. Because sometimes what you want to destroy the most is kind of what you want. It's a part of you, yeah. That's true, but I don't want to get too political.

Yeah, it's not really, no. It's not the place of the show. I agree. It's for my own time. Not necessarily the place of the show. Let me play a special song. Okay. Jessica, this is...

Oh, here it is. It's the song for the Popcorn Gallery. It's a segment that we like to do on the show. Are you listening? Yeah, I can hear it. I have it. Thank you, Cody. It's a segment, and it's where we ask the questions for the show,

and people have submitted questions to you, and this is the song, and we play the song, and now it's done, and now it's time to ask the questions. And for Jessica. Okay. Did you get that? I did. So it's a segment that we do where we have questions,

and the viewers ask the questions. And it's the popcorn gallery, and it's not the peanut gallery. It's not the peanut gallery. Are you familiar with the expression, the peanut gallery? Mm-hmm. And so this is a big— What about, like, popcorn reading? Does that have anything to do with it either?

Popcorn reading? I know what it is, but tell Hayes what it is. So we both know what it is, but popcorn reading is when you're in a class and your teacher wants you to read a paragraph or a page, but she wants to spread out. She doesn't want people to fall asleep. So she'll have you read one or two sentences.

And then you can popcorn read. And you can say popcorn, and you would be like, Sean. And then it would be time for, Sean better be paying attention, because he's got to pick up where the next sentence is. Yes. Well, we know what that is, because we're all in the same class. And we're all in school. Oprah's next class.

But school. Yes, and never stop learning. But school sucks. And it's good to be paying attention, but also the popcorn reading method is propaganda of fear. It is just, you know, it should be a positive reward, not trying to punish. Yes.

So that's... But we're all very young, and we're in school. Some of us younger than others as well. And what do you think of the teacher? Probably okay. She's boring, I think. She's boring, and maybe she's cute. Okay.

So... Let's reach into the popcorn bag and pull out a question for Jessica Williams. Cody, will you play the sound drop? Play the sound drop that Mark recorded for us? for Jessica Williams. Cody, will you play the sound drop? The sound drop that Mark recorded for us? Ooh, some kind of piece of paper. Is it a treasure map?

No, it's not. A lot of Mark's sound drops lately have been the beginning of an adventure. Like him going on some kind of adventure. Well, I'm excited to see how that plays out. It sounds like just the beginning. Yeah. Here's a question from Thelonious Junk.

Jessica Williams, why is it called news when all the stories has already happened? I mean, new is right there in the word, but it actually is old. That's a really good question, Thelonious. You know what it is? Sometimes news can mean a couple different things A lot of it can just be the concept of information And so I like to think that information and news, they have a symbiotic relationship. So we do basically like a satirical political information show is how we like to think of it. Does that make sense? Yes, it's short for information news.

Yeah, totally. Which is too long. You can do a movie called Information Zs. It's News Zs. It sounds – how much better does that sound? So much. I'll see you on Broadway. Try to rhyme something with information.

Yeah, broadcast information news. You know, that's not a classic. We love Broadway. You were just talking about that before. I just know that we really like it. Like the street or like the concept? The different shows. Oh, the idea of the shows?

Yes. Any specific show in general? Well, the different ones. I mean, we like how many there are. You can, on any given night of the year, go to see a new show. Do you guys go see shows? Yeah, we're seeing the one that they are doing for that movie Accepted. Oh, oh my God.

The hit movie Accepted? Yeah, the Justin Long movie. Yeah, definitely. It's accepted with an exclamation mark for the show. It's more of a jazzy thing. Did they sign Justin on for that? Or Blake? I think Blake Lively's also in the film as well.

They got someone named Blake Lively, but it's like a guy. Okay. Yes. I think he's on Glee or something. And then they've got Justin. Instead of Justin Long, they got somebody named Long Justin. Now, Louis Black is going to be doing it. Oh, okay.

So he's in. He's still the crusty old dean. Yeah. I love his work. I thought he was one of the kids in this. Oh, did they change the roles? I think he's doing the Jonah Hill. He's doing Jonah.

Yeah. And then I remember Scott Adsit played a parent dropping his kid off. And I think they were able to get him also to play Jonah. So there's two Jonas. One like Justin. Louis in the house. a male Blake Lively a male Blake Lively who maybe was on

some is it a Glee or it's one of these musical shows and isn't funny music enough for a TV show speak on that Jessica

speak on that please is funny music enough for a TV show absolutely yes oh absolutely that stuff can carry me all the way I'm almost scared Speak on that, Jessica. Speak on that, please. Is funny music enough for a TV? Absolutely. Yes, yes. Oh, absolutely. That stuff can carry me all the way. I'm almost scared I won't need to go to Broadway

because there's so many funny music shows coming out now that I'm just like, I'll get all my music from my half-hour TV shows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And won't that be something that's a treat? Let's reach back in the bag for a new question. Cody. Cody? Well, paper is some kind of official

document, some kind of government document. I'll just start reading it. It's Obama's birth certificate. Okay. Well, Mark.

Yeah, what's Mark? We've got to listen to him first. What's Mark getting into? Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I guess we don't know. I guess when we get to the third one, we'll know. Well, if there's a third question, we might find out more.

What his take on it is. I will say I don't love the direction it's going. It's interesting. It's making me feel weird, definitely. He might blow the lid off this whole thing. Jessica, here's a question from Aztec. Jessica, your Twitter profile states that you are part Native American. So do you find it offensive when people refer to you as a trailblazer?

I do, actually. It really hurts. I'm kind of having a couple of issues with that. Just like somebody calling me a trailblazer or somebody saying, hey, do you want to watch Pocahontas? Sure. Do you want to watch Pocahontas? Squaw? Right. Anything. Not nice. It rips me, and it hurts me and my people. Yes. And I'm always just trying to sort of respect the one 18th part of Native American.

Yes, respect. Yes, and respect for the earth as well. You know, you guys actually have a lot to share in this regard. Really? Because Sean is also one-eighth Native American. One-eighth Native American and I almost never bring it up, but it is a big part.

I guess I don't want to make people feel uncomfortable. And that's my, part of one of my problems is I'm a real people pleaser. Do you know about that? Trait that people have? Yeah, just the general trait of wanting to be liked.

And I think it makes people uncomfortable when they realize, oh, I don't really understand the earth and this guy does. And he's very in touch with it. And you guys could maybe even share experience of what it's like seeing animals' ghosts. Yeah. And even when we were talking about owls before i was thinking about some of the owl ghosts that i've had been friends with are there any in here um there are two yeah two there's a bear uh one huge yes i was gonna say one huge one and one small one and he's and he's a nice bear and that's his son when the one is the one the small one. And he's a nice bear. And that's his son. The one is the one.

And the small one, yes. But what happened to his mom? It was cruelty. It was cruelty? It was cruelty that happened to it. Somebody murdered the bear. I mean, California grizzlies are pretty much extinct. Yeah, we put them on the flag, but we forgot to put them in, not, you know, not put them in the casket.

That's actually true, though. put them in not you know not put them in the casket that's actually true though the bear that and I did some research

on the California bear rather recently just because this ghost has been following me these two ghosts have been following me around when you say actually true

it makes me feel like you think some things aren't true that we've been talking about on the show and now have you been trying to fib us and pull our legs

and trick us I would never fib you I would never fib you okay well that's good to know so the ghosts are following you around. You've been trying to get at why, I guess. Whenever a ghost, it's kind of ghost 101, especially in our community.

Whenever a ghost is following you around, you need to figure out what does it want. And she pointed at me and then at herself when she said our, so it is Jessica and I. You need to know what do they want? That's the number one ghost question. Why are they so restless? Yeah.

Why are you here in the studio? How do you help them rest? Yeah. I need these bears to sleep. Yes. And it's because people are- But we have treated just as a state California bears horrifically since we became a state. Yeah.

So there's a lot of angry bears around the city. Yeah, we've been flattening them out. And I'm a couple months older than you, and I can maybe give you a tip in terms of the bears. When you do have a bear ghost, that a lot of times all you need to do is go stand in the river and just swat at a big salmon. You know, and if you just get a good whack on one and catch it, then that will make the bear be able to rest. They're not so complex. Yeah, you can feed it a salmon ghost.

If you feed it the ghost of the salmon. I don't know. I feel like you're kind of generalizing bears because some of the bears are a bit more like you can't just swat at a snake. The ones that want honey? Yeah. You're talking about that want honey? Yeah. You're talking about the honey ones?

Well, so yes, there are two avenues you could go. The other thing you can do is just scratch your back up against a big old tree and, you know, give it a good itchy

and that'll take care of the bear and let him go to sleep. There is one that I've done. You can also just wear, like, take your clothes off, put on a red T-shirt that just sits just

above your belly button. And you just find a little tiny just pig and you speak to it. And that'll make a bear go away sometimes. But again, that's a bit more complicated. Like every bear is different. You can't generalize ghost bears.

I think that's one bear. I think the one you just described is one bear. I think it's a very specific bear. Well, I don't want to go down that road. No, you can't get in the middle. You don't understand. I mean, you don't get it. You don't have it.

You don't have it. Let's reach back into the bag. It's peeling off. It's not even real. It's like a, it's like a, it's a birth certificate for Osama bin Laden. Okay. That was even, That was actually even worse Than I

Than I thought it was going to be Is that sound drop That Obama's birth certificate Has some kind of false Label on it That peels off And it's really Osama Bin Laden's Yeah you would think

You would just If anything If you were going to fake it Just put it on a blank piece of paper Right Or put it over Someone that's not nefarious. I guess the letters are close. Right.

So that's helpful. But it also seems pretty bold. You just use a sticker. I wonder what Mark knows that we don't. Here's a question from Bird Rules. Jessica, summer is ending in the hot sunny times that is summer do you prefer to have your guns out or your buns out definitely my guns out um again like apart from being one 18th native american and my great-grandma's side i'm also you know black um

uh large the other is a 17 18th of it is black. Wow. Thank you for telling us that because we don't see race or gender. We talk about this a lot. Oh, really? Yeah, especially with comedians. Funny is just funny to me. Oh, good.

I don't know. Yes, I appreciate when people approach me that they tell me what their race and gender is so I know sort of how to react right well i know yeah when you don't want to be put in a box you know i i prefer to be translucent like people ask me what are you i'll sometimes do the black card i'll sometimes do like a native american card but some days i'll just wake up and be like i'm clear yes be hollow man yeah and i'll tell you i'll tell you the card that you play most of all is the Joker

and there's you know and that's because you really are you know cracking us up on the TV thank you so much

you know what's crazy is my heart stopped because I thought you meant the other Joker of the hit Dark Knight franchises my heart almost stopped as well

because how scary and menacing a character can you can you be other than the joker you're talking about spooky and that hurt like that honestly like hurt my feelings um i didn't and then you recovered i know i didn't mean that in any way and i have been hypnotized to forget the performance of the joker in those. I had to go to a series of sessions.

Because I didn't sleep for about a month and a half after I saw that film. And so to me, it never occurred to me there would be any kind of crossover there. When I say Joker, I don't mean that Joker because he literally doesn't exist in my mind. Sure. And even seeing a trailer or a poster is um you know uh it is pretty dangerous for me and you were talking about

well yeah referring your guns to your butt because i've just i feel like i was born into my arms like i don't really have to work out for my guns like i just have naturally, just from my mom and my mom's mom, we've always had very ripped guns. Lucky, we live in the gym. Do you guys really? Yes, we were born with tiny baby arms. And ever since then, since we were babies,

we've had to keep working out to make the arms big. You guys look pretty swole right now. Thank you. We've earned some monster ones. It's pretty intense what we did. And it feels good to earn them. Yeah.

I mean, well, I feel like I earned it as well. Just sort of, again, like being born into it. Some of those things. A legacy can be earned. Is it tough on your mom giving birth to a baby with enormous adult-sized arms? Yeah, I really ripped through her when I was born. But I guess you can kind of help your way out a little bit. I just grabbed my way. I grabbed the doctor's hand.

I turned my own self around. And I grabbed the doctor's hand and just spilled out. And the doctor said it was unlike anything they'd ever seen. And I also, crazy, sprained the doctor's wrist that morning that I was born. Oh. It was in the morning. Yeah, it was the morning. It was the morning the Roger Rabbit film was re-released on VHS.

Well, Cody left. He's barfing. He's vomiting. That's what he told me. Oh, he told you that? It's because of his illness. I thought it was my mother's story. But, you know,

that being said, we can't all take it. Yeah, he's not supposed to be barfing. Okay, far be it for me to criticize people for being sick, but it's a little much with cody he's been very sick for a very long time yeah he's always complaining about it and

he's always getting sick i don't know what it is i mean i can barely understand the guy he's got some kind of mush mouth he says his insides are burning up because of all the baba he has to drink. Oh, shoot. Says his organs are mushed. Yeah. Whatever that means. Well, if this part of the episode doesn't sound as good as other parts, it's because our freaking engineer took a freaking, you know. Barf break.

Barf break. Jessica, thanks so much for coming on the show. Thank you for having me as well. It meant a lot for me to be here. I feel blessed. And for our listeners, will you please rate us on iTunes and talk to us on the forums? And subscribe on iTunes. Yeah, subscribe on iTunes.

We just learned about that. Talk to us on the forums, and we'll give you advice about girls and how to get a girlfriend. And people say, like, oh, are you being sexist? No, we're not. That's for guys and lesbians to get girlfriends. And we'll give anyone advice who wants to get a girlfriend. If you want to have a girlfriend, and Hayes and I have had a few and some pretty darn good ones, then a good place to get one is by starting on an internet fan forum for a podcast.

That's right. And then that's where you get that information. Like us on Facebook and go to the movies, please. Yes, you've got to go to the movies. It's summertime. And by the pro version of the podcast, Rod Aug bought it this week. And, Sean, what's his prize?

Oh, Rod Aug is going to get a piece of news that maybe you didn't read in all the headlines that because we have a real true news hound who's all the way inside and jessica's gonna lay on a fact that a lot of people might have missed and so give him one from this past week? A juicy one. I think Kendall Jenner had a dust-up with a waitress at a restaurant. Okay. That's under the radar, yeah. So that's a big deal

allegedly. My sources are saying that Kendall tried to buy a drink even though Kendall's underage, and the waitress refused. But for some reason, the waitress is still in trouble for the situation. And can you find a way to insert Rod Aug into that story? Because he bought the pro version, and they like hearing their names. Oh, Rod, Rod, Rod, Rod.

People say that the restaurant was Rod ogg's diner oh wow okay probably his girlfriend yeah they're also saying that she's his new smoking hot girlfriend oh cool and she loves his arms oh and his handsomeness oh Oh, cool. That's what she says. Well, Rob, that's nice for you, huh? And hopefully it's age-appropriate, that relationship. Bye. This has been an Earwolf Media Production. Executive Producers Jeff Ulrich and Scott Aukerman. For more information, visit Earwolf.com.

Earwolf Radio. Boom. Earwolf Radio. Boom. Dot. Com. Oh, oh, oh. The wolf dead. That was a HeadGum Podcast.