Hollywood Handbook - Jimmy Pardo, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: November 21, 2017

Sean and Hayes have JIMMY PARDO as a guest to play games like on his new show, Playing Games with Jimmy Pardo.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. It was me and Icarus. The guy before he died from being too extreme. Like Paul Walker. Really, it is the same. That's how I want to go out. Yep. I mean, that's how I've always said.

I feel the same, because then you know that I was happy, if that's how I go out. Know that I took it to the limit. Yep. Yeah. Yes. If I die from covered in melted wax, then know that I went out happy.

So we're in the Agora, the marketplace, where we discuss politics and we buy pottery and stuff. And I have been talking a lot of shit about the gods. Sure, yeah. Because I'm trying to get Wonder Woman to like me because she is mad at the gods too. So I'm saying like the god – oh, I hate the gods. Oh, god. They're so lame, right?

Yes. Yeah. And then I start hearing that a bunch of them are coming to kick my ass. Mm-hmm. And I can see them flying down. And to be clear, it's not like the god of war coming to kick your ass, right? No, it wasn't Ares. It's like the god of, like, sand.

But no, well, Poseidon is probably the scariest one who was there. Mm-hmm. Just can pitchfork you right in the butt. Yeah. And Dionysus, who is supposed to be very happy and drunk. But ultimately, he's sort of like a date rapist, right? Sure. I mean, it's...

Yes. And he's so drunk. I mean, it's very easy for him to want to kick my ass. Because it's like a ton of wine and then sex with whoever is really what it's about. Yes. And that, to me, sounds Because it's like a ton of wine and then like sex with whoever is really what it's about. Yes. And that to me sounds like it's not necessarily okay. Yes. So all these guys are flying down and they show

up and they're like mad at me because I've been saying all this bad stuff. And I'm like, well, I'm boyfriends with Wonder Woman or whatever. And they're like, no, you're not. And she is there. I didn't realize she was there and she's like, who are you? I've never even seen you before. Yeah. But we had met. She's like that. We had was there. And she's like, who are you? I've never even seen you before. But we had met.

She's like that. We had actually met. And I'm not sure if she remembered or not. And Thor is there too. Thor is visiting, I guess. Like the other gods. And Loki might be there. You don't know.

He takes on different forms. He could have been Poseidon or something. Anyway, Poseidon is already, before I even get a chance to explain myself, he's spearing me. Like really hard. Before I can even say an explanation, and Icarus is gone. So I'm just getting speared in front of all my friends. Well, I'm really sorry that happened, but I got to say there's a silver lining. Okay. Jimmy Pardo's our guest.

Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook and Insider's Guide to Kicking Buttons, Dropping Names, and the Red Carpet Linebacker. Always in this industry we call showbiz. Jimmy Pardo, legend of podcasting. It's very exciting to have you. It's a very much anticipated episode. People have been saying for a long time, when are you going to have Jimmy? When are you going to have Jimmy?

And now here he is. Is that true? People have been clamoring for this? They asked for Jimmy. And here we are. A lot of cancellations. I know you guys are big shots. You're wheeling it daily.

On both ends. Cancellations on both ends. I did not cancel once. Did I cancel once, Chef Kevin? Yeah, yeah. I called him Chef Kevin, right? Please. Oh, yeah.

That's who he is. Wait, I canceled once? That's accurate? Yes, we did get canceled on. That can't be true. Or rescheduled. I don't really remember. Why did I cancel?

But he also lies. He lies all the time. Rescheduled? I don't really remember. Why did I cancel? But he also lies. He lies all the time. He's full of lies. Yes, he's constantly lying. I had a piece of mail here. It's been here for three months. I said, when did it arrive? He goes, yesterday, I think. And I look at the postmark. Yeah, because he's done with it now. That's what happened. When he's finished with your mail,

then you can have it. That's how he operates. He rifles through it first, is what you're saying. Yes, and he uses it up. I don't know what he does with it. I got a sneaky suspicion that he sleeps on a pile of our mail. You think so? Rolls around it? Oh, yeah. I don't know what the fetish is there. He smells like mail.

Can I say this about my mail? Can I say this about my mail? It was open. And I went, this is open. And he went, yeah, that came for you guys, so I just opened it for you. Like, yeah, that's the problem I have. I wasn't confused as to how it happened. I wasn't like, how did this?

Kevin, can you explain? But I do want him to open it, but in front of me. You want him to do it like a servant? Well, yeah, also in case it's anthrax. Wait, is it 2002 already? For us, that has kept think anthrax is just making it to you guys? For us, that has kept going. I see. Yeah.

Because we actually still don't like ISIS or whatever. Yes. You're still mad at them? Yeah. I'm still pissed. I don't know. I'm on the fence. Everyone else has rolled over. Did they have some good ideas? Probably. But the way they deliver their message? Not cool. You don't like... Covered in anthrax. I mean, that's how they deliver their message, not cool.

You don't like it? Covered in anthrax. I mean, that's how they deliver it, right? Can I talk a little bit about perspective here? I don't like to think of it as there's been a series of cancellations. I like to think of this as delayed gratification. Okay, you want to spin it that way? In our fast food microwave culture where all these millennials want instant gratification.

Everything's on demand. Can we just have a little bit of just letting the anticipation build? The on-demand generation. Sure. But who's it for, the gratification? Us? The three of us? Oh, yeah.

Are you not loving this? I'm not liking it. Here's the thing. I'm in my head because I don't remember ever canceling. So now I'm in my head about this that at some point I did. But I don't think you did cancel. I think we just delayed the gratification. I think you teased it out a little bit.

Yeah, that makes sense. You got us all juiced up. This is what Kevin wants is for everyone to be on their heels. Well, I'm on them. I'm on them immediately. Immediately. Chef Kevin pulling the strings. Geppetto over here. Did Geppetto pull the strings as well as carve the boy?

He had to, right? Do you describe it that way? Carving the boy? Yeah, he carved it. Brady's a woodsman. Yeah. Like our great Jesus Christ. I gotta carve the boy.

New show. Yeah. And the old show. The old show's never not funny. We're going on 12 years. People seem to enjoy it still. Thank the Lord above. And we're doing both.

And I'm doing Playing Games with Jimmy Pardo. It's a six-episode mini run. Yeah. I almost said mini-series, but that makes me sound like I'm talking about Dynasty in 1978. Or Lone Wolf. That's not a real show. Lonesome Dob. Lonesome Dob.

Thank you. I couldn't remember what it was. Doesn't matter. I, uh, it's a game. Yeah, it's a game show. It's, it's, it's, uh, my co-host from Never Not Funny, Matt Bonap, is involved. A guy named Mike Henry helped with it. And we have celebrity guests come on and co-host with me.

Which Mike Henry are you talking about? The guy who does Cleveland? No. The other Mike Henry. Okay. And don't think he doesn't love that. Don't think he doesn't love. Hey, are you the guy that runs around and kicks people in the balls?

For the white guy who impersonates a black guy on television? And makes a gazillion dollars? Yeah. He kind of bothers him a little bit. Okay. Yeah. I heard a story about that Mike Henry that he took like classes at Second City where Hayes started out. that he took classes at Second City where Hayes started out,

and that he would do that voice in every improv scene, and that one of his instructors went like, hey, man, you can't just do that fucking voice. Is that right? It's kind of funny, but you can't just do that every time you walk on stage. And he went, okay, well, I'll go become a billionaire doing just that voice. I did a pilot with Mike Henry. I got 2003 for VH1, and Mike and his brother Mike Henry, my God, 2003 for VH1. And Mike and his brother, Patrick Henry, they brought them on board to add some more flavor to it.

And for whatever reason, they were treated like crap by the executive producers. Like they were treated like these misfits that didn't know what they were doing. And same deal. It's like they're being treated that way. It's like, all right, we'll show you. We'll go make a billion dollars in animation. Cleveland is a revenge character.

It's amazing how poorly they were treated. I got to say, this is a great segue into our actual game. We wanted to play a game with you. You do the show playing games. You think you're the only one

who knows how to play games. Well, we came up with a pretty good game ourselves. I've never played with the only guy that knows how to play games. I understand other people who play games.

It's implied. You think it's implied? Fair enough. Playing games with Jimmy Pardo, not like playing some of the games. Yeah, what's not said is – With Jimmy Pardo. Yeah. Right?

That's true. It's all-encompassing, isn't it? All right, fair enough. Go ahead. So you have a game idea you want to play with the master here. And you basically have already been playing it because we wanted to play who you know. Yeah, and who knows more of the guys. Who knows more guys.

I know a lot of people, guys. Yeah, but so do you. What we thought you were going to say. And I knew a story about Mike Henry, and then Jay comes swooping in. That's right. We actually did a thing with Mike Henry in 2003, and then he's got all these specifics. He knows his brother. Probably knows John Henry.

I do not. I cannot take credit for it. I know I'm a yes and guy guy but I don't know John Henry I'm just I'm going to be honest if we're going to play the game fair and square I'm going to be honest

it's lucky for you that the game hasn't started because that would be a huge penalty oh gosh because yeah do you not have rules for like

some kind of whistle or like a sound for when the game technically starts there's no whistle we have no referee okay so people could be in the games

whenever you decide. Yeah, when I decide. Okay, so the noise is just Jimmy. Yeah, I don't care for the word noise. The noise is you catching them. Catching them being in the middle of the game. No,

I start the game. So you sneak up and surprise people with a game. Nobody is surprised. It's not a prank show. It is a game show. And people don't even know they're on the show? They're well aware of it. I'm not Jimmy Kimmel taking candy away from a child. I think I get it. I think I get it.

I understand. That's very popular. You want to trap me in a game, so you have to say that you're not going to do a trick, and that's the only way the trick can actually work. I cannot be more clear. That is exactly not how it works. And I see what you're doing. That stuff is huge. Is this on Hollywood Boulevard you do this? I don't do clear. That is exactly not how it works. And I see what you're doing. That stuff is huge.

Is this on Hollywood Boulevard you do this? I don't do it. We do it in a studio. I don't know how this is so confusing to the two of you. You're in the business. Yeah, so we know what's out there, what's popular, which is people lying. And we're business adjacent. I mean, I think we like to still feel like we have a true outsider's eye on some of this stuff.

You think you've got a foot in the common man? And we're fans. Let me ask you this. Do you sit in storage or are you in first class? Because that will decide how I feel about your answer. I'll go back and say hi. Yeah, that's kind of how I do it. Storage, yeah.

Give him a little wave. Certainly use that bathroom. Why don't you go back there? You don't want to sneak up the front. Because I'm going to blow it up. Yeah. I'm going to blast it. I got it.

What I got going on in there, not fit for first class. Yeah, to be like a common man. I go, hey, I'm going to blast it. I got it. What I got going on in there, not fit for first class. To be like a common man. I go, hey, I'm no different than you. Go and smell what I just did. Nightmare in there. Absolutely tragic. So, you know, that's a way to keep relating to them. And so I don't really think I'm like in the business where I got to know what a studio is

or be able to understand what you're saying about your show or how it works. But it's not on the street. It's not... It could be huge. If I did it on the street? Right? I'm not suggesting it wouldn't be. Or on Runyon if you go do it on Runyon.

Yes, on Runyon. You could have some selfies. Listen, we get a lot of celebrities. No doubt about that. But I think bothering people while they're jogging or hiking is probably the wrong way to go on this. Who's on playing games? Some of them want to be bothered.

Yeah, they're there, right? They're in costumes. Look at me. Look at my sunglasses. I was once at the gymnasium, by the way, and that will answer your question, where a young lady was doing crunches. And she was wearing her hat. Remember when the hat, a skew, was the thing? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Last week. Is it still happening? I remember it being more prevalent a couple years ago. Anyway, she's doing these crunches, and every time she'd come up, the hat would straighten out. So then when she'd go back down, she would put it back, and then it would come up and straighten out. Then she'd put it back on. It was so effing important for her to have that hat look cool that she kept fixing it during the crunches.

Take your hat off, you a-hole. That's the look. And that is who's playing the game? Yeah, so she's on the game. Then the other celebrities that we have is we've got the guy that grunts when he does squats. Okay, so it's a lot of gym people. We record it at the gym.

Yeah, at the studio. At the Pilates studio. Oh, it's a Pilates studio. It's inside the gymnasium. That's huge. That's where we record it. That could be really big. And then we get them as they're going by.

We got the grunge guy squat. Yeah. We got the guy that makes your smoothie. Speaking of gym, you know who I see at the gym? Who? Jim Rash. You see Jim Rash? He's there every time I go.

And dude is getting ripped. I have watched him transform over the past few months. He's a tiny little dude, too, so it's easy for him to get ripped. He was a tiny little dude. That's what I'm saying. Oh, right, yeah. Man, it's intimidating. His back just became a whole new shape.

Do you think he's thinking about getting ink on that back because now it expanded so? I think it would work. I think now he's got room to write a really long phrase. He's playing Aquaman. He's doing Aquaman? That smart. He's doing Aquaman. Jim Rash, yeah.

Jason Momoa didn't do anything wrong. It's just Jim Rash has gotten so strong and powerful. So you've seen him as well, it sounds like. Yeah. I bring him up only because I do know him. Sean livestreams the gym. And then you... Wait a minute, that's illegal. You can't do that. It's just the locker room.

Repeating. That's illegal. It's literally just like, I would never do it on the gym floor. It's public space. And he puts up a sign in his locker that says don't come in here unless you're willing to be filled. He puts up a little thing on the inside of my locker. Wait, so then nobody sees it? Hopefully not unless they sneak a peek at my combo or if they watch the whole live stream and they manage to deduce how many turns I did. Listen, I am not a legal expert, but it sounds like you may be breaking the

law. Well, I understand why you wouldn't want me to videotape the gym floor because a lot of those workouts are secret and the secrets to staying in shape for the Hollywood stars cannot be shared with the general public. But in the locker room, you're just hanging out, shooting a bull. I hear what you're saying, but I don't think I would like to be videotaped and I know some others. I think it's an invasion of privacy.

Hmm. I'll think about it. think it's an invasion of privacy. Hmm. I'll think about it. The camera's in his sunglasses, too. So, like, it's not like people are— So they don't know. They don't know. It's not like people are upset. So you're not being like the guy at the concert holding it up.

I'm not going to carry some big-ass camera around. Yeah, or like a selfie stick. You seeing these things? Oh, Jesus. I see the selfie stick. Thank you for asking. Yeah. Yeah.

Have you got a selfie stick? It's over. I want to tell you something. My son has a selfie stick, and there Yeah. Have you got a selfie stick? It's over. I want to tell you something. My son has a selfie stick and there's nothing he loves more than that thing. It's over. He likes it. He makes little movies. It's over.

He's owned. But my son's over? Is that what we just said? He's been sufficiently owned. He's owning himself by owning the selfie stick. I don't like this at all. My son. That's my son.

I didn't drag him into it. You know what? You're not wrong about that. I brought my son up, and so by those rules, fair game. Go ahead. Now, okay, you know your son, so how many points would that be worth? My son has been a – hey, no, no, no. Before you score that, my son is in a web series called Renegades that was originally

called Star Trek Renegades. He plays Chekov as a child in a flashback. Did Star Trek get mad or something? Yes. Okay. And then they took the Star Trek name off, now it's just Renegades. But it's got all Star Trek people in it. Walter Koenig,

Jerry Ryan, some other folk, Tim... Tim Ross. Okay. I still think that's wrong. Let's just say Tim. That sounded more impressive. Tim Roth. But my son was... Jonathan Frakes? Nope. He's in the new one. He's in the CBS version.

And he directed an episode of The Orville. I could only take your word for that. That's all I could do. My point is this. My son is a big shot, so I should get points. Okay, that is even more points. Kevin, how—okay, so— And shouldn't I get points because he's a big shot and I'm related? Shouldn't that be—

Yeah. Yeah, that's going to be an extra point or two. Okay, and we don't know his son. That's bad already. Yeah, we're kind of digging our way out of a hole. Now, can I ask, when I brought up Jim Rash, you went, oh, he's a little guy. It's easy for him to get ripped. And that sort of implied that you do know him because you knew how big he is.

But you didn't actually say you know him. So do you know him? Are you asking if I know Jim Rash? Or do you just know how big he is? I've seen Jim Rash from a distance that I know his height and frame. Okay, yeah. So I can't, I will concede the point on Jim Rash. But I've actually talked to him.

Does he ever do? Yeah. Never not funny? We've never had Jim Rash on, not for a lack of asking. This is what he's preparing for maybe. Is he like getting ready to go on your show and beat you up? We are a video podcast as well, so that makes sense. That's what it is.

Because when you're doing video in a studio, it's not the same as being on the big screen. Like if you're on the big screen like he is in the movies, he looks larger than life. He's big. But if you come into a small studio and it's just hand cams, that's not a real word, you've got to bulk up so that you look the same size you do at that big screen. So this makes sense that you would see him doing this to get ready for his number-double-double appearance. Okay, so that's one knowing for us because he has been on your gym video podcast and he has not been on— Hang on, the gym video is a podcast as well?

Yeah, well, that's what we do. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Is it an offshoot of this? It's on Twitch. You know this Twitch? You seen this thing? I have not seen this Twitch, no.

Oh, God. It's freaking—you can put it right through your selfie stick, man. I got to say this Twitch, no. Oh, God. It's freaking, you can put it right through your selfie stick, man. I got to say, Twitch is insane. It's blowing up right now. It's getting big. But we're doing the gym. It's for streaming games or the gym locker room. Yeah.

Okay. And so you stream it live on Twitch? Yep. It's on Twitch. And I'm in a little corner in a picture in picture, commenting on what I see. Like an MST3, that's not it. I do riff. Yeah, MST3.

I will riff every now and then. Do you give it like a little voice? Do you ever give it like, hey, I'm doing weights? Yes, there are other little characters, little puppets. Right. It's sort of a Greg the Bunny thing. I look forward to seeing this. Yeah.

Now, when you say it live streams on Twitch, can I also get archives? Can I go back and see previous? Yeah, if you subscribe, I gotta pay. Yeah, if you pay the premium, there's a paywall. We're not going to put it all up for free. That's smart business, gentlemen. And you're rewarded for staying up to date. But if you miss one, and you want to be a part of the conversation,

it's time to show up with a freaking bag of cash. So what's the tally so far, Kevin? How many people do we know? And you didn't even sing the song for the game. Yeah, please sing the song for the game starting now. That's right. Hey, guys, Chef Kevin here.

Did we come up with a title yet? It's who you know and who knows more people, how many guys you know. Okay. Let's all sing it together. Seven, eight. Who do you know? And how many people can you bring with you? First two.

Who do you know? And have a good day because we're all friends. Even when we play games, we do it to bond and have connections. That's nice. Like Blue Apron. Yeah. Build strong bonds. Build strong bonds.

So two pointers for your show, Jimmy. First of all, we do clarify that we are still friends while we're playing the games. Yeah. But I don't know if you do that. A lot of times I have a feeling your games get pretty contentious. They will from time to time. We'll hate it. There's no doubt about that. But I think it's understood that we're still all friends at the end of the day.

But you guys make it clear here. Yeah, we make it very clear. And we support a sometimes advertiser in the theme song. Is that something that you do? Does that go to food deserts? Like 98% of them by any chance? That's interesting.

I don't know if you're allowed to say that at the copy anymore. Oh, is that true? We're not allowed to say that? I think you're right. But when you're just promoting it on the show organically in conversation like we are. Yes, you can say whatever you want, and they still have to pay you. Oh, seems fair. So what's the tally right now, Kevin?

I have two points for Jimmy and one point for you guys. Suck it! Okay, because he knows his son and his son is on Renegade. His son's worth an extra point because he's in a web series that had to change its name legally. So we are stuck a little bit. Okay, I'll say one of mine. All right. One of ours.

Bobby Valentine. The great manager. Okay, sounds like you might know him. You're talking about the major league manager who I once talked to via telephone and said, Bobby, don't stay down in the tunnel. Put a mustache on and get back out in that tank. That was you?

That was me. Oh, man. That was me. Okay. That was me. Okay. Well, so that's a question. Did you talk to Bobby Valentine or was that you talking to his sort of alter ego because he got thrown out of a game. Right.

And he put a mustache on to try and come back in the game. But was that kind of a different person? Was he like Bobby Halloween or something? No, I talked to Bobby prior. I'm the one that said, you know, go into the locker room. Go into the clubhouse. Okay. Find something.

Get a mop, whatever you need to do. All right. Cut the strand off the mop. Okay. And put it under your nose and go out there with some sunglasses and let's see how far we can go. Okay. Okay, this sounds like he knows him better than you.

Well, but I did talk to him for a second while he was in it because I was playing for the Braves at the time. You were once up for the Atlanta Braves. Yes. What position did you play? I played, this was like during the era of not positional. I was sort of a roving infielder. It was that era.

So, because you would never really know where this one guy was. That really nails down the timeline. Yes. It was like for two weeks weeks in 92, I think. Everyone was kind of roving around. Everyone would just go where they wanted to. Almost like Little League. Like, let's bring back our youth.

That sort of vibe. And everyone is running around before the batter can swing. So he can't target anyone, really, because you're juking him out on the field. It's the anti-shift. Yes. Didn't Tom Glavin trip over you? Yeah, we ran into each other while he was throwing a pitch. So wait a minute.

So you also know Tom Glavin? Yeah, I know Tom. Because of your time on the board? Oh, yeah. We know Tom. Yeah, he's from Bill Ricka. Oh, yeah. I knew him like back in the day, me and Sully and Tom and the gang growing up.

Who's Sully? Bill Ricka. It's hard for me to think of his real name. I just know him as Sully. That makes sense. But he was like a guy from the old neighborhood. I'm going to guess his last name is Sullivan. That's just a guess on my part.

He's Sully to me. I know it. Well, that seems fair. So Tom and I are friends. Could be Sullenberger. Yes. Oh, I'm sorry. Could be Sullenberger.

I'm sorry. That's who it is. He's a hero. Okay, that's right. That name rings a bell. That's who it is. You know the pilot, Ch'm sorry. It could be Sullenberger. I'm sorry. That's who it is. He's a hero. Okay, that's right. That name rings a bell. That's who it is. You know the pilot? Chesley.

Chesley Sullenberger. You know him? Yes. I knew him when we were all kids, me and him and Tom growing up in Billerica. Did you know him when he planned that landing? When he talked to you prior to that? He called me a few days before and said he had something really big planned. Yeah.

So you had some intel. Yeah. And I said the same thing you said. I said, why don't you throw on a mustache and get out there and do something big. I told him, wait until July. Right? You know what I mean? Right?

It's going to be a little warmer. Why would you make them get cold out there? Yeah. But he said that's part of the thrill. Maybe the ice. Now, listen. I'm not a pilot, but maybe the ice makes it an easier landing. Hey, I'm not a pilot either, but I think it does.

So we know Sully. We know Bobby Valentine. I also talked to him when he was Bobby Halloween. That does not count. Bobby Halloween does not count. That's a different guy. It's the same human being wearing a fake mustache. You cannot get a point for Bobby Halloween.

In fact, I want to lose a point because of that awful name that he chose. Well, his last name is also a holiday. It's two different holidays, and one of them is a holiday where you're in disguise. So it actually makes a lot of sense. I apologize. I wish I would have thought two steps ahead because now I think it's genius. Speaking of holidays, I guess I'll go I'll do one that I know

I guess it's an obvious one, but I'm hoping Jimmy doesn't know this guy, the Krampus I cannot speak of the Krampus Yeah, the Krampus That's not to say I don't know the Krampus I just don't speak of the Krampus Okay, so you might know the Krampus so well that you refuse to even talk about your relationship I'm not going to talk about the Krampus. Okay, so you might know the Krampus so well that you refuse to even talk about your relationship.

I'm not going to talk about the Krampus. It's like Candyman. I'm not going to bring it up. Okay. Wow. And somebody doesn't know Candyman if they're going to compare those two. I know Candyman, Candyman. Oh, okay.

That's it. But that is three because that's four. No, the same person has to say it. Okay. You can't transfer Candymans. Okay. Wow. So you really know him really Okay. You can't transfer Candyman's. Okay. Wow. So you really know him really well.

You can't do a joint Candyman. Oh, I know the Candyman. Okay. We're talking about Sammy D, right? Talking about Junior? Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, I know Sammy Davis Jr. I mean, I knew him.

I feel like I know him because Billy does him. You know what I mean? Billy brought him to life for me. Are you suggesting you also know Bill Crystal? I'm talking about the reporter Bill Crystal. I know him as Billy. Will Crystal? Yeah. Billy did a great

job of capturing Sam's essence, but it wasn't knowing Sam. And when I knew Sam, we would go to Dantana's here. Admittedly, I'm a child. And I would go, and I would go with my father, and we would go to Dantana's here. Sure. And admittedly, I'm a child. And I would go, and I would go with my father, and we would go, take a look at there. That's Sammy Davis Jr. And he said, you want to talk to him?

You do not want to talk to Sammy Davis Sr. That guy's an asshole. Wow. I know my dad had gotten in a fight with Sammy Davis Sr. So your dads were – hated each other. And you know what? I'm also a junior. I'm James Pardo Jr.

Oh, man. And so, yeah, James Pardo – That really counts. So your dad accounts too. That's a story. So your dad and your son are now on your tally. That's right. That's a lot. So, yeah, so Jim Sr. fought Sam Sr.

Wow. While Sam D. Jr. and myself stood by watching them argue. Wow. It was uncomfortable. While Sam D. Jr. and myself stood by watching them argue. Wow. It was uncomfortable. Bill Kristol, amazing talent between doing Sammy Davis Jr., doing the Jazzman, editing Weekly Standard, I think, supporting the Iraq War. Right. Just a really, like— Who somehow we now side with.

Yeah. We side with Bill Kristol all of a sudden. So he's now, like, that's like a third person. So he's like three guys, basically, with all the different careers he's had. Yeah. But side with Bill Crystal all of a sudden. So he's now like, that's like a third person. So he's like three guys basically with all the different careers he's had. Yeah. But we know all of them. So what's the tally now, Kevin? Okay, Jimmy

has two. One for his kid, one for Jim Rash, one for Bobby Valentine. And his dad. He got two for his kid. I got two for my child. Two for your kid, one for Bobby Valentine. Don't say my kid. That got two for my child. Two for your kid. One for Bobby Valentine. Don't say my kid. That sounds dismissive, Kevin.

Jimmy Jr.? No, my son's name is... First of all, I'm Jimmy. He's Jimmy Jr. If his name was Jimmy, he'd be James III. And at that point, you murder me. Because that doesn't seem fair to do to a child. Sure.

We're not golfers. Okay. Two for little Jimmy. No, repeating. Not my child's name. What do you think about this? If somebody is a three, do they become a junior? You know.

When the original dies? Should that be the rule, you think? I'd like it to be a rule, but I think they hang on to that three spot. I don't think so. They'd love it. I don't think so. They don't want to be a junior. They want to be three because they throw it in your face.

Well, because then they can say their name's Trey. Ugh. Right? Anybody ever seen somebody try that move? I have. I got a feeling it's not. Okay. Somebody tells me their name's Trey, I go, really?

Like my buddy Trey Anastasio. He does that. Oh, no. And this is difficult for me. Obviously, I know Page. You don't know Jim Page. You do not know Jim Page. No, I know Page is the keyboard player in Fish.

Oh, that makes more sense. Trey Anastasio. Well, Trey's out front. He's not hiding behind 88 keys. Trey's out there. So I think... That makes him easier to know, frankly. It makes Trey easier to know.

Yeah, so it should be fewer points. You have to make your way through the stage to get to Paige. And even harder to get to Fishman. Yeah. No. No. He's got a big kit. You have to get through Trey to get to Paige and Fishman.

Nobody wants to talk to Paige. You lose points for spending time with the back. No. He's a more gifted vocalist. Let's just say it. Let's just say it. If you want to say it, you say it. He's a more gifted vocalist. Now, Trey's voice has a certain character that people find appealing.

Trey's guitar does the singing for me. You understand? You know Trey's guitar, too? I've seen it and met it. Oh, come on. He said, take a look at that, Jimmy. What's its name? He called it Lucille, and I thought it was a little Trey's guitar, too? I've seen it and met it. Oh, come on. He said, take a look at that, Jimmy. What's its name?

He called it Lucille, and I thought it was a little tricky. Very out of character. I rolled my eyes, and I did not care for it. Wow. And I busted his balls a little bit, but, you know, musicians have a great sense of humor. Yeah, because he's stealing from B.B. King, who, of course, I haven't met, but Will Crystal does a hell of an impression. Really takes me there, you know? Of course I know.

I've seen Bill do it a bunch of times. His Muhammad Ali. You know what? The guy's mad. Only to his Cosell. Does it pay? Only to his Cosell. But when he does Cosell, for some reason, he does a black version

of Howard Cosell, which other people wouldn't necessarily think to do. No, no. You would have to have a very rich imagination to sort of take that walk. I love the way

he's able to transpose Cosell, who's sort of just a boring old white guy, into this really cool jive talking as he puts it hood version of Cosell who puts it that way? Will does?

yeah Will and Crystal again you know I don't know him I do not know him never even met him make sure you got that down you got that I got Trey and Anastasio that they should lose points for knowing the keyboard? Yeah, but I gave you two points for knowing Trey's guitar.

Thank you very much. And what's the score? Can you book some of these guys for Jimmy as we're going through the show? Because like Crystal or somebody, that would be great. I'd love to have Crystal on. That'd be a huge get. For Jimmy, it's two for Trey, one for Bobby V, one for Candyman, two for Jimmy Sr. knowing Sam Sr., one for Trey Anastasio,

and then two for Trey's guitar. So Jimmy's at nine. Did you mention my son again? He got two. He's Trey. He's the first Trey. And then for Sean and Hayes, it's one for Bobby V one for Sully one for Krampus

one for Jim Page am I missing anyone? you didn't get Bobby Halloween and Jim Rash isn't on there no Bobby Halloween does not get a point and I will not stand for it earlier he said that he gave

Jimmy a point for Jim Rash whereas I've actually talked to Jim Rash and watched him get a note wait you saw Jim Rash get a note? I don't know that should be extra points if you see them get a note. Wait, you saw Jim Marais get a note? I don't know.

That should be extra points if you see them get a note. Who's the most famous person you've seen get a note? Boy, that's a great question. I've seen Tom Hanks get a note. Wow. I've seen Tom Hanks get a note. Oh, dang. Yeah. Oh, on what set?

He was at the Tonight Show with Conan O'Maraian. He got a note on the Tonight Show. They gave him a note. They gave him a note. Oh, damn. Yep. Wow, because he's usually so good at telling enthusiastic stories. Well, here's what happened. This is 100% true. I went into

his dressing room to meet him, and he had been told that my name was, they said, young man here, Jimmy Pardo, wants to say hello. And I walked in, and he thought my name was Johnny. And he kept on going. I walk in, and he goes my name was Johnny. And he kept on going. I walk in, and he goes, Johnny! Yeah. And I said, well, it's Jimmy.

And he goes, Johnny! Right. I see. And I said, well, it's Jimmy. And he goes, I knew your dad, Don. I go, that's not my dad. And it's Jimmy. And he's like, Johnny!

John John! Big John! John John! And then they slid him a little piece of paper. Okay. And he read it. He goes, okay, Jimmy it is then. Wow.

Whole different attitude. Whole different attitude. Whole different attitude. Worse. Not as friendly. He wasn't as friendly. No. Yeah. He was having fun doing his bit.

Uh-huh. And I don't think he liked being negated. Is this the cue card guy? Just like slight. You say it's a little piece of paper. It was a producer. It was a producer. Oh, it was a producer. Yeah, it wasn't the cue card guy holding up something.

Okay. Gavin? This was not Gavin. You know Gavin? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Gavin. This was not Gavin. You know Gavin? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Who knows Gavin? Yeah, Rossdale.

How does he play into this? Does he do cue cards now? He does, yeah. What have you seen him doing lately? Calls your story into question, really. You don't talk to the cue card? You know, you're working on Conan, you don't make friends with the cue card? I talk to everybody on staff.

It's Gavin Rossdale. Ever since Razorblade Suitcase, he's been edging his way into cue card game. Let me tell you something. The fact that you bring him up disgusts me because you don't deserve points for Gavin Rosted. Oh, is this like a Krampus relationship? No, I don't know him at all. I don't know him at all. But by your own admission, what have I seen him do lately? Nothing. Therefore, not a celebrity. You don't know him at all. I don't know him at all. But by your own admission, what have I seen him do lately?

Nothing. Therefore, not a celebrity. You don't know him. Okay, I see. So you took Gwen's side in the split. You were friends with – better friends with Gwen. I was definitely better friends with Gwen. And when we all had to choose sides, we're on sort of the Gavin side of this, but you had the existing relationship with Gwen.

You probably know this, that I'm great friends with Scott Aukerman from the comedy Bang Bang. Okay. And he was once in a band. That's a point for him. Thank you. We don't know him.

He was once in a band with one of the fellas from No Doubt, and so he introduced me to Gwen. So that's why I side with Gwen. Right. So, yes. People don't know that about Scott. I may have just.

I get another scoop here on the program. Yeah. Which member of No Doubt was he? The guy with the suspenders and no shirt. That guy. Hootie. Yeah. Nope.

Which Scott did for a while. That was like their thing that the guy – that guy brought over to No Doubt wearing suspenders with a no shirt. That was their look. Yeah. And Scott said, I'm going to go into comedy. Right. And I'm going to take that look into comedy.

Yeah. But now he just – it's like a private thing now. So you're probably videotaped. Yeah. I definitely have seen – before he goes to work out with Jim Rash, he'll just get down into suspenders, no shirt, and kind of— Wait, you've seen Hockerman work out with Rash? Yeah, I've seen him spot him.

He spots him up? Mm-hmm. I've seen him give him a note. Damn it! That's a point! That's who you saw give the note. Oh, yeah. What note is he giving him at the gymnasium?

Form. Hey, nice form. That's the note? It was a good note. It's just a verbal note? Notes can be positive. It doesn't all have to be embarrassing

one of America's greatest actors. The note doesn't have to be they were humiliating one of the fine treasures of American cinema. One of the last vestiges of the monoculture.

I just witnessed that. I didn't hand him the note myself. Please don't be mad at me. Yeah, but you relished it. I just witnessed that. I didn't hand him the note myself. Please don't be mad at me. Yeah, but you relished it. I most certainly did not. I most certainly did not.

He's one of the greatest actors of our time. He's won two Academy Awards. And to be cut down to size over something as small as your name. He deserves it. You know what? I'm going to go the other way now. He deserves it. He's had it too good for too long, Tom Hanks. He deserves a little cut down. You get my name wrong, you're going to be told about it.

That's the problem. Nobody ever corrects Tom Hanks. He's a nice guy, nicest guy in Hollywood. Nice guy. He and Henry Winkler, who I know very well. Put me down. Please put me down, Jimmy. I understand you're upset.

I'm sorry I defended Tom Hanks. I thought he was a good actor. I now understand. Please put me down. Do not keep me pinned against the wall. Do you mean to kill you like you're an animal at the vet? Put you down? That's fair.

Yeah, he deserves that. Are you actually saying that? Yeah. Hey, guys, remember the theme song was keep it friendly. Oh, that's right. And what a great time to be reminded of the theme song. Good job, Chef Kevin. And I guess, yes, I forgot we're supposed to do Chef Kevin's segment now.

It's a little segment within this game that we normally play, which Kevin doesn't know a lot of people, but he talks about a girl that he had a dream about. Oh. Yeah, thanks for bringing this segment back up. Oh. Yeah, thanks for bringing this segment back up. So the other day I dreamt about this girl I was in seventh grade with,

and this kid behind me farted in science class, and she said, ha-ha, Kevin farted, and then everyone thought it was me, and I was like, no, no, no, it wasn't me, it wasn't me. And I just dreamt about that again. So it was like reliving a nightmare. Thanks. Oh, my gosh. So even in his dreams, he won't frigging admit that he's the one that farted.

Disgusting. Here's what you guys don't know about me. There's no word in the English language I hate more than that word. Actually, maybe we do know. Maybe we do our research on this show like Nardwar. We're like kind of a reverse Nardwar where we find out stuff about you. Yeah, we're war.

Yeah, like Wario's version of Nardwar. Nardwar. Yeah. Yeah. You don't know Nardwar? I don't. Ah, yes. I don't.

We're friends with Nardwar. He wears a little Scottish golf cap. Okay. And he's Canadian, and he interviews musicians. I don't. We're friends with Nardwar. He wears a little Scottish golf cap. Okay. And he's Canadian, and he interviews musicians. I don't know Nardwar. And he does their research about them, and he gives them gifts based on the stuff that they like, that he knows they like. And we are kind of like the Wario version of that, where we do our research about the words you hate, like farted. And I didn't bring up that word.

Kevin. Yeah, Kevin, the chef. Just find some way to wedge it in. Yeah. And I'm like, Kevin, just say that you freaking cut one, dude. Right. Because it makes you feel cool, casual, and kind of funny. No.

But instead, he's got to be like, got to do the ugly word. Yeah. All of it's ugly. Fart. I don't like that word either, but I know Jimmy hates it, so I gaslit him. Pun intended. Okay. Okay.

All right. Okay, Kevin. Okay. Okay. And the dreams that this guy has. What a sicko. And you forgot, sorry, you forgot to do the theme song for your segment. This is the part of the show where Kevin relives his dreams

about a girl. Stay tuned. So we'll put that at the beginning. Because now I hear stay tuned and it's too late. Yeah, they should stay tuned. They should not be tuned. Be a little confusing. This is a great time to tune out.

Should I recap the score? Yeah, that would be great. Okay, so Jimmy has two for Trey, which is his son, one for Bobby V, one for Candyman, two for Jim Sr., Knowing Sam Sr., one for Trey Anastasio, two for Trey's guitar, one for, actually, sorry, two for seeing Tom Hanks get a note,

one for Scott Aukerman, one for Gwen Stefani, and one for Henry actually, sorry. Two for seeing Tom Hanks get a note. One for Scott Aukerman. One for Gwen Stefani. And one for Henry Winkler. That's 14. Seanan Hayes. One for Bobby V. One for Soli. One for Krampus.

One for Jim Page. Jimmy Page. Two for seeing Jim Rash get a note from Scott at the gym. And one for Nardwar. They're at seven. Boy, oh boy. It's embarrassing how I'm kicking your ass in They're at seven. Boy, oh boy. It's embarrassing how I'm kicking your ass in this game.

Okay. Well, guess what? I have the frigging death blow. What, do you got a seven-pointer? You got a seven-pointer in your pocket? We actually like doing our records in the Earwolf studio. Yeah. Because we like hanging out with all our friends here. Like Josh and Dana and... and Josephine and Josephine.

Jenny. Yeah. And Jeff and Colin. Oh, gosh. Yeah. And they're all out there. Adam Sacks. We know them by name.

Yeah, but those are workers. Let's call in our friend army. Those are workers. Those aren't famous people. Colin, come in here. Where's everyone else? Dana, Dana, come here. The good thing about this is this bit, I get to learn their names.

And Jimmy did move the time to try to trap us during lunch with these guys. Okay, so a lot of them went to lunch. So that we wouldn't have as many people. This is great. We subbed all our friend army in here. Yeah, two showed up. You listed a dozen and two came in for you. Dana, who am I?

Who are you? Yeah, what's my name? Hayes. And I'm friends with you and I know you. Okay. But Dana's not famous. Go ahead and hit him with my name. Sean.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, wait a minute. Wait, wait. What's my name? God damn it. Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. Thank you.

Right, but she's a fan. She's famously a fan. That's how they... She's fanning out right now. It's not like with us where she knows us and we're just good friends and we're able to give each other a hard time. Why do you get points for friends? I don't understand how I'm losing all of a sudden.

And Colin's in here as well. Colin, say mine. Oh, you owe me bravice. Or you've got me all troughed in me knickers. And that's how he says he's friends with people. Interesting. And we know Kevin, and we know Engineer Sam and Ryan.

But again, how does that compete with Henry Winkler? How does Colin compete with Henry? The Fonz! This is Colin who's afraid to say a word. How does he compete with Fonzie? The total. Here, do your Fonzie. Hey.

Okay. And that's better than the real thing at this point. No, no points. No points. Okay, you guys can go out. So like the total of those like 15 people is like three people, famous people, which puts us in the lead.

Yeah, two people. We summoned our friend army. Away from their cubicles. Jimmy, remember the theme song is about friendships. Yes. So those actually get more points. Yeah. I feel like I'm being sandbagged.

I literally feel like I'm being sandbagged. I pull Winkler out thinking, game over. Has he done Never Not Funny? Hey, please don't pull your Winkler out. Hey. We're all having fun here. The climate that we're having right now, sure. Has he done Never Not Funny?

Who are you asking? Has Max Winkler done Never Not Funny? Yeah, I had the kid on. No. No Winkler. Because he is sometimes not funny. He does comedy and drama. So he is not allowed to be on the show.

He can do it. He can be funny, but that's not the show. Max can do comedy, but he can do drama. That's not the show. But Hank could also do drama. Did you ever see The Lords of Flatbush? I call Henry Winkler Hank. So that's why you haven't had him on because he violated the rules.

Yeah, he doesn't like being called that. You know what I've seen him in? Scream. Yeah. He does both. Funny and scary. In the same movie. Yeah, same movie.

You just saw him do that. You do not know Henry Winkler. Yeah. That's part of the rules. But ask where I watched it from. Where'd you watch it? BCAM. I don't know how that

that doesn't get a point right? he was B-cam operator oh you were on the operator and you know Henry's so nice Henry knows everybody's name on the crew alright

he makes a point of it he really makes the set a family makes a point of it fine I concede the Henry Winkler point yeah I didn't know you were on B-roll B-cam they go

yeah they go hey B-cam a little quicker on that move next time oh didn't know you were on B-roll. B-cam. They go, yeah, they go, hey, B-cam, a little quicker on that move next time. Oh, he sounds like you were sluggish. Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, I didn't get the pan exactly right. How many takes did it take then

because of your... Lots of people just like walking out of frame in the final version of the movie, if you notice that, because his moves are very slow. I never saw the...

I saw the first scream. Is that the one we're speaking of? Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. Big time, baby. The one with Henry Winkler. The one with Hank, baby. I never saw any follow-ups, so I don't know if Henry Winkler was in any of the follows.

Oh, well. I'll ask him. You know what? Let me text him. If you saw the first one. I picked up my phone. He gets murdered. He did it.

He was immersed in the bit. Yep. I picked up my phone. Hang gets murdered. He did it. He was immersed in the bit. Yep. I picked up my, hang on. There we go. Yeah. And I was tapping it and making a ton of noise. I saw the first one. I don't know if he showed up in the second one.

What, you think there's a fucking flashback? Dude got, I don't know. Did he die? Yes. He gets hung from the frigging field goal. I don't remember it. It was decades ago. Some friend. Yeah, it's a seminal film. Some friend of Henry Winkler. I'm sorry. I tend to remember it. It was decades ago. Some friend.

Yeah, it's a seminal film. Some friend of Henry Winkler. I'm sorry. I tend to remember my friends' movies. You know, Hayes' episode of Big Lake, I still know every word. Going to Lee Harvey Oswald land. Lee Harvey Oswald. Yeah, exactly.

You don't know Big Lake? I'll add that to the list. Okay. Chris Gethard, Horatio Sands, Chris Parnell, briefly John Heater until he was replaced. Yeah, so I don't think that's a point. I don't think that. I think that you get fired, you lose this friendship point. Okay, that's fair.

Right, is that safe to say? I have to go down with the ship. It's like that new Getty movie. I was going to bring up Spacey, but he got cut loose, and I know that I'm going to lose a point for that. So I know the rules. That sucks, man. That could have been sweet for you. That's why you're not acknowledging that friendship is because you would lose a point.

Because I'd lose a point. Because of the Getty movie, yeah. Yeah. Right? Now, Plumber I know. I've known Plumber a long time. Oh, okay. I knew Plumber when I told them to do that vampire move.

Yeah, I know a plumber too. Luigi. You talking about Mario's brother? That's right. Those are good guys. They do good work. Very good work. They do very good work.

Very good work. They come. They're tidy. They're colorful. Yeah. They show up. You know who's who. Luckily, they have a little matching yet different costume.

Yeah, and they'll do other stuff in your house. They'll be like a handyman? General handyman. Yeah. If they're there. What have you had them do? What have you had them do? A few bucks.

Besides the plumbing? Loose knob on the oven and stuff. They're like, they got parts. They had a cart. We had a creaky step. I had a creaky step. I just had them. They went ahead and reinforced it.

That big truck? They got all kinds of parts. They got everything in there, huh? Mm-hmm. Boy, boy, I've only just used them for the plumbing. Mainly because I just, I like when the worker comes, does their business, and gets out. Yeah. But now that I know that these guys are willing to do anything else around the house, I'm

going to- Will you offer them an iced tea or something? I'll give them an iced tea. I'll give them an Arnold Palmer. That's a lot of R's and L's for my dumb Southside Chicago accent. Arnold Palmer? Boy, I'm not happy about it. But I offer-

Oh, so wait a second. You know Obama, too? The president of Barack Obama? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, from the old neighborhood. Oh, so wait a second. You know Obama, too? The president of Barack Obama? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, from the old neighborhood? Yeah, from the old neighborhood. Yeah, 63rd and Western. That's good. That's not where he was, but that's where I saw him. That's where I met him, at a diner at 63rd and Western.

Oh, man. Not far from Marquette Park. The neighborhood diner? We were in there, and I was having a Reuben, and I think he was having like a Philly steak of some sort. Okay, that's not very regional. It kind of calls your story into

question. Like if the whole neighborhood of Chicago is eating a cheese steak. That's what he wanted. Listen, he's a man of the whole country. He should be having the big pizza or like. We weren't a pizza place. We were like a diner. We were like a Greek owned diner. And he went off the

menu. And he said, you know what? Give me the Philly steak. Give me the steak sandwich. So Jimmy learned his lesson about doing his show without any friendship. And not in like a massive group where lots of people are extraneously employed to just

maximize numbers of just the people. It's about the people, Jimmy. It's about the friends that you make along the way. It's certainly not about the quality of the job they do. It must be about the friendship. Or even the

clear, specific job tasks. It's not about that. It's not about that. It's not about understanding what their role is. So I certainly hope it's about friendship. It's about friendship. Yeah, so it better be about something else, and that something better be friendship, starting now.

Well, I fear, I feel, and maybe I'm overstepping. I've made two new friends here today. Here come the overstepper. Nothing! Nothing! I show my heart, and you do a jingle? You can't turn it off. Jimmy, you can't turn it off. Should be familiar to you as someone who's never not funny.

I'm never not funny, and that's actually an issue I have. If only I'd gotten to that name first. Now, Jimmy, I'm happy that you made— Trust me, you do not want that name. Trust me, you do not want that name. I'm happy that you feel that you made two new friends here today. Is he trying to win the game? That's what he's trying to do.

I slit my wrist. Two extra points. He's trying to add two more points. You saw through me. Very cynical. You saw through me. And I knew that you meant the friends were Chef Kevin and Hayes, and I knew that I was on the outside looking in.

I didn't even say it. I said two. All right, you're in. I didn't even say it. I said two. All right, you're right. Something we like to do with our guests here is we like to tell them, hey, I love you and I'm in love with you. Okay. And so if you feel like you made friends, well, that fits right in with us.

Perfect. I don't have to say that now, right? I don't know how this would have to work. No, not if you don't feel it. It would be nice. Yeah. No, I love to love you, baby. Yeah, okay. And that's close enough. That's a cool way to do it.

And Kevin? I love you like I love you, baby. No. I love you and I'm in love with you. That's nice, Kevin. Well, this was nice. Stitcher Premium exclusive? What's that now? Is that what your show is? My show is that you get it a week early on Stitcher premium,

but then it's on Airwolf. Oh, that's an interesting model. Yeah. It's a series of mini sodes. Yeah. The water cooler model. You want to be the first one at the water cooler.

That's right. You're spoiling it for the rest of the, you talk about it a week early. They can't afford it. Right. That's cool. Yeah. We're talking about playing games with Jimmy Pardo.

That's what you're referring to, of course. And it's a series of mini-sodes. Nope. And it's Matt and it's Cleveland. No, it's a different Mike Henry. A different Mike Henry. Hey, what state is also a tiny soft drink and could be used to describe playing games with Jimmy Pardo? Sprite.

Mini-soda. Mini soda. Mini soda. That's right. So it's a series of mini sodas. A lot of people make that mistake. Actually, sometimes they can be huge. Too big. I got to throw half of them out.

I'll obey your thirst, okay, but I'm not thirsty anymore. Sorry. Going to have to hit the trash can. I want it to go flat. That makes sense. Yeah. Bye. All right.

I'm a horny girl wolf. This has been an Earwolf production. Executive produced by Scott Aukerman, Colin Anderson, and Chris Bannon. For more information and content, visit Earwolf.com. Ow. That was a HeadGum Podcast.