Hollywood Handbook - Jo Firestone, Our Card Game Friend

Episode Date: November 8, 2022

The Boys welcome back JO FIRESTONE to play her new card game Fruits.Watch the video recording of this episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast so you know just it's change of seasons right like it's you know it's it's it's the time of year that it is so uh turn turn turn i go out in the yard kicking down the corn maze right yeah you know you know it's november it doesn't want to go do it no no never easy to say goodbye no it do not want to go away but you look at the calendar you turn it over november and you say it's time to go kick and punch the corn maze until it is dust stubborn stubborn maze the maze and and and it never really uh gets any easier does it physically or emotionally emotionally i'm not ready to say goodbye to this maze you know i spent days in here i was knowing i was lost frequently

and then there also is this piece of like uh physically the corn is really tough it gets really hard yeah and then i'm kicking it it's hurting my foot because it's cold out yeah and i'm and i'm punching it and i'm getting little you know these sort of blades of corn stuck in my in my fingers and my knuckles yeah also this year with that kid i know just the level of like i don't know it was different this year it was too much right i didn't like it all these new people and do it doing like all doing the lines and stuff as they go through the maze it's like just go through

silently please that yeah that for me was completely silent as you go through the maze unless that's been part of the tradition urgently need help it's eerily quiet yes and everyone's just sort of filtering around in the maze there's sort of a light

rustling sound and an occasional gasp did you go through and clear everyone out first before you started well no that was another issue right i'm just kicking and punching and i assume anything I make contact with will be corn. And what do you know? It's old man Bartholomew. And he's now getting kicked and punched in the dust. And he's been in there for who knows how long. Joe, did you

kick your maze? Kick your maze down yet? No, I used to work on one of those so i'm pretty respectful of those spices so why you leave it up this is what's so crazy when the ultimate sign of respect to leave it up until it withers you leave it up until christmas and then like you don't even have a christmas maze no i have a christmas maze? No, I have a Christmas maze. Oh, you do? You have room for it. Where does it go if you leave the corn maze up?

The corn maze and the Christmas maze? I live in Manhattan. La-di-da. Yeah, you live in Manhattan. This is, by the way, for people who couldn't hear it before we started recording, which is everybody, this is the show now, Joe. All Joe has wanted to talk about is how she lives in manhattan

well you'd want to talk about it you'd want to talk about it i was pretty excited about it at first i was fired up you know there was a little while that it was a pretty good conversation it just has been forever yes it's been my whole day. Okay. I just because I'm working on self-improvement. Do you know when it turned? When it turned? Yeah. When it felt like too much.

Okay. This is interesting. Let me try to pinpoint it. It's a good question because I want to be constructive with this. I guess the immersive 360 degree walking tour of Murray Hill.

You didn't like it? Yeah. Some of the previous destinations I thought, and I appreciate that you were spinning around the whole time so I am getting the 3D immersive experience that part was boring to me and everything after that was really boring yeah i think that was when it turned it was murray hill and then um i loved the beginning when we were in chelsea

okay i loved midtown and god seeing some of those sites in time square when we got to murray hill and then as you headed down towards like battery park i think i felt like i'm just done you know and i'm surprised that you aren't well you both were smiling and nodding so i thought that that no we weren't i mean you might have been spinning too much or something or like maybe holding the computer upside down i don't know but we absolutely were not i had something on the front of one of my teeth i was trying to get off with my lip so i had something stuck i was trying to peel part of like a a gummy snack off of the front of one of my canines with my lip.

A gummy snack that attached? It looked like a smile. Okay. Because I was kind of doing this a lot. Right, right. And just sorry, what were you doing, Zeph? Because I really thought you were smiling.

I was shaking my D-head. He was shaking it. Your what? My, you know what they say. His ding dang head. My ding dang head. Yeah. Well,

that's good to know though. I guess I'll stop the tour at Murray Hill next time. Dro Firestone as they call her. It's mis she blows dro and and she's known for it and maybe that's why you didn't tell when he was shaking his head is because you're so fucking high dro no no no no not high not. People, you know, whatever people want to do, they can do.

I just want to say, if you're in a deal-making session with me, and you've just smoked eight ounces of dro, I will beat you. I will have such an edge on you. You will never get the better end of that deal. Because if you've been blowing eight ounces of dank hydroponic before you sit down at a deal-making session with Hayes, you may think that you have some fresh perspective

or some new angle on it that maybe he won't see he sees it all and he's going to get the better end of the deal do you want to make a deal no i wanted to kind of clarify that my name is joe not dro okay that hi joe panic Kai Kai Joe Ponick Kai Smoking that Joe Could work Kind of leading a weed free

lifestyle Fire stoned Joe fire stoned Stoned off the fire. You get it for free? No. No. I'm not really interested in getting free marijuana.

I don't like the marijuana free lifestyle. You call ganja? No. No. What's the word you use for it so that we can all kind of get on the same page because we know that you're high i'm i'm not high i am sober kevin told me to be sober no kevin told me to be sober no kevin told me to be sober for this. Kevin has been suggesting that people be sober for our sessions. I don't know what brought that on.

It must be based on somebody's guest appearance. People used to get pretty loose before they came on this show. Kevin told me in an email. I'll read this email right now kevin yeah let's hear it yeah he said uh joe just a reminder please be sober okay and had he mentioned that previously no and this was so so reminder but it wasn't but he had not brought it up before okay wow yeah wow. Yeah. And then, you know, I guess that was, and then the next email I got from him was the Zoom link.

Okay. Wow. And this was all within a matter of a few minutes this morning, yes? Yeah, I got three emails in a row. Well, I really appreciate you coming up, like showing up and doing it. Do you want to talk about this, Kevin? Is it like a sound issue? Yeah, what's the process?

Yeah. Just the pace slows down so much and it's so boring. I mean, not to get into the analytics. I'm kind of a numbers guy, Joe. You see this drop off with some of our like, I don't know, for lack of a better word, stoned guests. You know, no one says anything. We have really nice fans. So like they just won't say anything.

But the numbers speak for themselves. That drop off is just like, I mean, I go cliff diving off these damn drop offs. But because you're sober, I have your holiday gift for you and for the boys as well. I just got a text from my mom and you each get to choose. These were my grandpa's pocket knives my grandma just found them this morning um so you each get to pick one wow well wow i guess i think i want wait no i actually can i pick first yes well i guess okay i want the tooth colored one What's tooth colored to you? That's interesting

I was going to say I thought and you can have that one that one is mine actually if you just look at the picture it's very clear that there is a daddy knife and a mommy knife and a baby knife that's and who's

the baby and of us just so i know it's a little baby drove firestone no no i'm the baby now just i think i've got a lot no matter what is papa haze no matter what is i think i think it was understood there's a reason that daddy everyone understands yes i'm daddy so we all know i'm mommy okay interesting so you two are married so you're married you're more mommy than me on this well hey you know what the real mommy is the one who says yes you can't have the tooth colored knife no because i will make that sacrifice for my baby who i want to be happy that is so i know what it means that is so greek myth makes me sick now kevin tell us who which one is for yeah it's who do you tell us who which one is for tell us which one is for what do you

call your grandma just grandma foof foof yeah yeah f-o-o-f we used to call her toots but she said that makes her sound like a floozy so we stopped so tell us which one foof is which one is for call her floozy it's's hard to also know how big these are. Foof provided nothing for scale. Yeah. I think she thought they were going to be each other for scale,

but that's not helpful. They all look like the lengths of toes to me. Well, what age? Human adult toes. That seems, that bottom one's a big toe, next one is this middle toe,

and then that top one is the baby toe. Is that correct? That's correct. They're each a toe. Okay. Knew it. I want, I mean, I want the daddy one.

Big Woody. Look at the texture on it. And want, I mean, I want the daddy one. Big Woody. Look at the texture on it. And it has a shield. Imagine the way that grip feels in your hand. Yeah. It has a shield for deflecting bullets. Yeah. No, that's what's so great about it is when it's closed,

you can actually still use it to like. Ding, ding, ding. That one's Sean's Sean's that was Sean's yep okay and gets the tooth colored one mm-hmm just as I thought and

man get a baby camo I get baby camo little baby sneaky one. Okay, I'll take it. Wonderful. I can conceal that so easily. I know.

Wow, that's what I thought would be most appealing to you. I think you could keep it inside your beard. Mm-hmm. And then with one big cough, you could reveal it. It's wonderful. And you know, the thing is, nobody likes to be around coughs. You know know nobody likes to be around coughs you know nobody likes to be around coughs turns out your cough's even worse because it's got a knife in it yeah it's dangerous they were worried yeah they were worried about covid it turns out what about

the violence virus yeah i am so glad i was sober today because otherwise we would have never gotten those gifts right well and you would yeah and you would have been really scared too when we started talking about some of this stuff because when you're because when you're high you especially joe when you get really high you know you get paranoid and so when hayes starts talking about coughing a knife into the palm of his hand snicting it open in one smooth motion, and starting to wield it aggressively, that becomes very vivid for you with some of the dank hydroponic dro that you're blowing.

Luckily, I'm not blowing any dro, and I don't imagine that. You didn't today because of Kevin. Thanks to Kevin. So I guess, Kevin, do you want to talk about the guests recently who have been too high? Did you feel that Janet Varney was on the moon and that we were unable to do an effective episode? Janet was messed up and that was kind of rude.

Lou Wilson, we did a D&D episode with Joe. I mean, the kind of stuff he was coming up with was kind of... A wizard. Yeah, it was very wizard based. I noticed that too. Yeah. Wizards are high. A dinosaur. stuff he was coming up with was kind of wizard yeah very it was very wizard based too yeah yeah yeah wizards are high a dinosaur yeah dinosaur smoking that wizard weed we had um john gabrus and um phil from somebody feed phil oh yeah gabrus thought he was phil there was some he was like i have the show now.

I wasn't here for that one. I had to leave because people were too messed up. So I left because they were so messed up. But this has been really pleasant so far. This week on the Patreon, Carl and Ahsan create their official travel guide to L.A. The boys welcome back Engineer Ryan to debut his new album. And the flagrant ones are mostly talking all things basketball. Check out all these shows and the video for today's episode with Joe at patrion.com slash the flagrant ones.

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slash the boys so i i wanted to talk a little bit about um something you insisted on which is that you have some kind of game yeah and this is now my problem well i wanted to promote it so you did another game so what so dr game has another game you did yet another game. Is this responsible to be doing right now? With an election? A lot of people want to smile. A lot of people want to smile. Here you go. Play your little games.

Pay no attention to... More distractions from what's actually going on. Everyone just get into your little... Just incredibly irresponsible. How many people have come up to me and said, God, I need a smile today. I can't tell you how many people have said that to me. God, I need a smile today.

They want a smile. And what they need is the news. You're more like tuning out the news. I got some... Okay all right okay i deserve that i deserve this isn't this a perfect example we don't have to choose joe oh i need a smile today oh well here's here's your little game no we can can watch during the news and we can have our smile and we can have the news at the same time. One smile per episode. Smile during the news.

By the way, Trevor's not going to be there forever. Trevor's leaving, Joe. So I think right now maybe it is time to watch the news and smile. Because Trevor's leaving. Yeah, I know. watch the news and smile because trevor's leaving yeah i know so let's let's not let's not let's not take these last few moments for granted before the news does become yeah i just i i guess i didn't know how to bring this up but i did want to ask is that who out of the three of you do you think is most capable of taking over the daily show okay yeah no this

actually is something that i did uh want to get into in this episode um it should be me oh it should be me yeah okay does anyone else feel different i have been thinking about it as well yeah ran a couple of numbers on this uh i have come to the conclusion that it should be me i should be the guy who does the daily show i should be allowed to do it every night i should be the nightly show i should be the star. And it should be me up there talking about what happened in the news. And crazy this crazy man. Bush. Okay.

Have at thee, Bush. That's what I'll say every night. All right. And just, Kevin, did you kind of have a preference? You're done, Bush! Kevin, do you have some kind of stance you wanted to put on Bush? Memo to Bush. Retire, please.

Yeah, my stance is no more politics on this thing. On The Daily Show? Too political. Could be better. Could be better. It's kind of one note these days you lose half your audience that's true you're trying to get a bigger audience talking about push by sneakers too you know everybody's got to can't walk around barefoot you'll get sick oh yeah barefoot yeah the amount of bugs

that could get into your body through your feet if you don't put on any shoes when you go outside you'd be amazed and they'll burrow in there and they'll do all kinds of havoc on your body oh they move in and set up shop and just start doing all kinds of crazy stuff inside your bones. Speaking of bugs, I bet you all had a wicked good time about Heidi Klum's costume. Didn't you just have the best time talking about giving me life? That costume, the the galvanizing body horror, whether or not something for everyone the way that heidi was able to make a statement about uh our unrealistic beauty standards through this grotesque, but somehow in its own way, magnificent and glorious costume,

it sent me to another plane of existence. And I'm not sure I want to come back, Joe. I think I'd like to stay here for a little bit, if that's all right. Where this woman who, she was a model yeah was that a dog sneezing or i just want to say that yeah that was kind of a dog i didn't want to do this but yeah i guess the dog is the dog wants to come on yeah Yeah, I guess the dog wants to come on. Is that part of the game? A dog is sick? No, the dog is not sick. Save the sick dog.

No, there's no sick dogs in the game. Okay, then I guess every other dog is sick. I'm not sure. Because either that dog is sick or every other dog is. Right? This dog's not sick. Okay, then I'm going to check out my dog. No, but this dog is.

Because everyone else is sick. No, this dog did not make any sick noises. Okay, I've sneezed. Sorry, I'm really starting to laugh. My understanding is that a sneezy is one of the sickest noises that any dog could ever possibly do. A dog only does a sneezing

when it's very stressed in captivity. Is this dog in captivity? No, no, no. It's inside the home. It's in Manhattan. Okay. Manhattan is not the dog's natural habitat.

The dog is in Manhattan. Its natural habitat is the woods. Not this dog. Not the concrete jungle. This dog. The regular jungle. This dog, if it didn't have the concrete, its nails would be the length of M&M bags.

It trims the nails on its concrete so they don't turn into M&M bags? A nail as long as an M&M bag. That dog belongs in the jungle. It needs to be returned. No, it's not going to the jungle. I'm not taking this dog to the jungle. No, the dog is staying in Manhattan.

It belongs in the Amazon rainforest. No, it's a healthy dog, and it belongs in Manhattan. Joe, the dog is getting sick from lack of jungle. Are you going to fix it, or am I? No, no, no. The dog gets plenty of milk. He's doing great here. Milk?

They eat meat. Dogs are not supposed to drink milk. Dogs drink milk. They eat and drink meat. They're supposed to eat lem dogs drink milk they eat a drink supposed to eat meat meat juice so what when i put out a bowl of milk why does it go away because you conditioned it to keep itself sick i really sneeze so hard into a guy everywhere in order to tune out the concrete jungle the damn thing's addicted to drugs. No, no, no. There is no drugs.

My dog is sober. Sober dog. And you think if my dog sneezed out a bowl of milk, you think I wouldn't notice splatters of white liquid all over my pristine floors? What color is the floor? Yeah, talk about the floor color. It's brown. You have a brown floor yeah what's wrong with that

what color is your floor bright blue sky blue what color is your yes yes both of you have sky blue yes yes of course i'll believe it when i I see it. So I'm flying around the kitchen. Whoa. Mm-hmm. I lay down. Here I go. I view an airplane. Yeah. Whee.

You guys have LA in your blood. And when my dog sneezes a big bowl of milk out onto the kitchen floor, it looks like clouds are in the sky. Is this part of the game no and what is part of the game what the when does the game start have you been told that your conversation is it's and it's when you're have you been helping you skip as we're as I'm giving up my time to help promote your project. You love projects. I could be doing so much. You love projects.

You love them. I guess I don't know what I like anymore. I mean, you definitely are a project of mine, and it's taken up enough of my time at this point that I must enjoy it. Because why else am I still here? May I see it? May I see the game? May I see the game? Okay. So I know that it's real.

Okay, you ready? Okay. There it is. The game is a pizza. No. I said it. It's what? It's what? I showed it. What? I showed it. You? I showed it. You showed it, but your camera was off.

Did you know that? No. You didn't know or what? You intentionally obscured the game from me. No. I'm not going to steal the game, Joe. I've got my own game ideas. Oh, like what?

Throw batteries. Excuse me? The game is called Throw Batteries. Throw Batteries. Yeah, and what exactly is the game? What is the game? You get on top of an old fence and you throw batteries. You're saying that at Barnes & Noble,

there's going to be a box with an old fence in it. Mm-hmm. And batteries. And batteries. No batteries. Batteries not included. That's correct. You got to buy batteries, wait till they get old. They don't have to be old.

Ideally, it shouldn't be brand new. Yeah. But they don't have to be old. Somewhere between new and leaking and you want and what just just so i know age what ages and it comes with a spoon to make a hole yeah you throw the batteries into the hole so you got a spoon hole they there's a picture on the box of like what the shape of a hole would be and then it's you get the spoonhole you throw the battery in there age is i mean what age can

you get on top of an old fence what's the age of right what's the age of yours what's the shape of a hole? What's the shape of a hole? Round. Round on the ground. You disagree with that? You don't think it holds round? You might be thinking of something else. No. What shape are you picturing?

And I'll tell you what you're probably confusing a hole with. Circle. Okay. Well, this is going to fucking rock your world. Circles are round. No, I know that is going to fucking rock your world. Circles are out. No, I know that. I'm not in ninth grade. I know that.

You're acting like a ninth grader. No, I'm not. You're acting like a high school freshman. Well, thanks a lot. Actually, why don't you tell my agent? Okay. So then maybe I can stop going out. That would be good for you? Well,. So then maybe I can stop going out. That would be good for you? Well, yeah.

Then maybe I can stop going out for a 40-year-old nervous woman on the brink. Who's on the team? Hmm? Well, you know my agents just got pummeled. Your agent? Wait, your agent just got pummeled? They got their ass kicked? What happened?

I just got pummeled. You did or they did? They did. They got pummeled. Your agent just got pummeled you did or they did they did they got pummeled your agent just got pummeled in a in a merger oh no joe you got you got merged you know one day you wake up merger one one day you wake up you wake up every day for a couple of years, you say, hmm, an ICM client. Then the next thing you know, before you know.

And then before you know, those three letters are gone. The only letter left is C. Keep the C and you moved it. Yeah, keep the C. Now it's at the front. Bye bye I, bye bye M. Yeah, and that's your identity, right? The I, the universal I.

Yeah. And now it's albertson slash c icm cares for i care much and now it's c c a a care care care uh yeah anyway no i i didn't know you were going through that. No, this explains a lot. You've been acting really fucked up, but this actually explains a lot because I didn't realize what was happening for you. Kevin's been putting in the chat little check-ins.

I have not been acting fucked up. Kevin's been putting in the private messaging on the chat. Hey, Joe. Little check-ins. Hey, Joe. Chat check-in. We wanted to talk about the game. I understand the game now is a different agent.

What's its name? Each one of these check-ins says keep up the good work. Pretty nice. Do you have a game agent? No. Okay. Okay, and that's what you don't want. You lost your gaming agent.

No, nobody. You know, I don't think Checkers has an agent. You think Checkers has an agent? Checkersers has an agent checkers doesn't need an agent babe yeah can i show you something i made no can i show you something i made is it the game i wish you'd show me something and i don't want you to be the pizza slice again i can't i don't want you to judge me okay let me see what you made let me see it don't judge me okay okay what what well just give me the general area of what it is is it a drawing no yeah it's not a drawing okay you made like an is it like an apple man no no it's like a dried up apple no like a head and feet on? No. Is it like a three-dimensional

design, like a structure? Yeah. Is it a god's eye? Dream catcher? No. Okay, I'll look at it. It's a tiny carrot. Yeah.

Little carrot. What's it made out of? You know, I can't say, but listen, just the thing is, is that you just never know. What is it made out of? You just never know what people can do. You never know what people can do. I am sitting in judgment of you, and I have no idea that, you know, right beneath the surface is the kind of mind that could craft a

carrot so small and i didn't even look at it that no rabbit was from memory that was from memory isn't isn't that your game isn't it's named fruits yeah is it fruits yeah okay i'm not judging you but i am judging some of your marketing instincts a little bit. What do you mean? Here I am, creator of the game named Fruits. Here, what should I make? Oh, I know.

I'll make a vegetable. Vegetable. No. No, no. May mean marketing for the sequel, I guess. No. No sequel. mean. No, no. I mean marketing for the sequel, I guess. No. No sequel. Expand your game.

Show me the game. Okay. Or I'm getting off the Zoom. Don't threaten me, okay? Let me see that. I'll show it to you, okay? Are you ready? This is the game.

Put the game on the glass. This is it. And there are some of the fruits. A farm-to-table card game. That game's shiny. Chill out, okay? So these are some of the fruits. A farm-to-table card game. That game's shiny. Chill out. Okay, so these are some of the cards. Okay.

Okay. You got pineapple. Pineapple. 50 points. 50. Oh, there's apple. That's worth 10 points. Who made the points?

CAA? Yeah, right. You wish. Strawberry's 30. Uh-oh. What's that? That's a treat card. Parfait.

That's Brian Lord's idea. Could do apple parfait. That's worth triple the points. Okay. Uh-oh. Look who this guy is. Okay. It's a rock.

There's a mouse. That's a mouse. The mouse, is he going to eat the fruit? Why does the mouse have no nose? Mice don't have noses. Joe? Joe? Sean?

How high are you right now? I am sober. You made a promise to Kevin that you would not blow this much dro. Check in, Joe. Check in. You smoked the nose off a mouse. No, no, no. Even if I was sober, I would know that mice don't have noses.

So this is this freaking jungle dog. Mm-hmm. No wonder the jungle dog's so sick. No wonder he's sneezing. He's trying to grow his nose back. No, he's got a nose. He's got a nose for sure. He's got one, but he chewed all the mouse's ones back. No, he's got a nose. He's got a nose for sure. He's got one, but he chewed all the mouse's ones off.

No way. No way. Man never had one to begin with. Look at this. This apple doesn't have a nose. What's that one's name? Doesn't have a name. None of them have names.

No name? It's named Apple. Joe. Cancel the game. No, no, I can't. We got to name some of these guys. No, no, I can't. I can't cancel the game.

It's already out there. Oh, Joe. The Apple's name. Oh, Jesus. How long? How bad is it? How long has it been out? Hayes, what did you name the Apple?

Beavis. Beavis apple. You want me to market a game that has a card that says Beavis apple. Beavis apple. That says Beavis apple. Okay, what are you going to name this one? The banana? Yeah.

I hate to go with Beavis again, but this seems like, yeah. This is Beavis Banana. Beavis Banana. Okay. What are you going to name this one? That's 50 points. Is that the most points of all of them? Yeah.

That's the biggest one, Pineapple? Okay. Well, then that name has to be something big. Butthead the Pineapple? okay well then that name has to be something big but head the pineapple i don't want to call it but head the pineapple joe biden is this you see this inflation the freaking pineapples 50 points don't bring gas prices into this i went down to the game store the other day the pineapple you believe Pineapple's 50 points now? One pineapple card. Yeah, we did it, Joe.

Firestone. Firestone. Joe, you can name that one USA LLC. Actually, it could be pretty smart. Yeah, I actually think that's a really good idea. Thanks, King. and which one goes

first huh which one which goes one first goes first i have no idea what you're talking about and how many so the game i guess never the game is not no one goes first. Here's what happens. Okay. Tell me. You're dealt eight cards. Okay. Uh-oh. One. Uh-oh.

That's your card. The grabber. The grabber. Yeah. Now, I know that's for people like you. They're going to grab a card from somebody else's hand. Oh, my gosh. so that one is for us yeah for people like us whatever is the game competitive or it's just god knows what you

mean by that it's a game of it's a game of strategy and chance okay so i get okay i am dealt which one of them's a grabber. Are they all grabbers? No way. Okay. So you're dealt eight cards. Okay. Here we go. So here's your cards.

Oh, okay. So you got dealt eight cards. Okay. Here's what you got. Oh, you got a pie. You got an orange. You got a strawberry. You got a pineapple.

You got a mouse. Oh, you got a kiwi. You got an apple. You got a banana. Okay. Now what you're going kiwi. You got an apple. You got a banana. Okay. Now, what you're going to try to do over the course of your turn is try to get bunches. Now, bunches is three or more of the same fruit. Okay?

You set it down, you get points. Now, but then a mouse can go ruin that. Hello? What happened? Did it freeze? Did you go answer the door? Yeah. what do you want him to do who was it it could be an emergency who was it okay so now you want to know who it was yeah i do want to know who it was but answering the door was bad to do for some reason and yet that's literally the only

way to find out who's there so it's like she doesn't want me to answer the door but now she's so curious who it was and i think and maybe if at the time that i answered the door we'd been a little bit nicer about that decision i'd be a little more willing to share who exactly it was at the door it It was the dog catcher. If you must know, it was the dog catcher. And Sean gave him $1,000. To go, I sent him to the concrete jungle to capture another dog and retrieve them to safety.

No, no. To the non-concrete jungle. No. To go to the actual jungle. No, no, no. If you sent a dog catcher for $1,000 to come to my house. The dog catcher called me. The dog catcher called me on the phone and they said,

is it true what I'm hearing about the dog? And I said. You don't have to say. Just say nothing if it's. Yeah. If what I'm hearing is true. Do not respond. I'm not going to lie to the dog catcher

then I get caught? No, thank you. So then they came and gave them a thousand dollars. A signed affidavit from the judge. What judge?

What judge? Come on, Joe. You're going to make me say it lance ito i gotta fucking say it now judge lance ito that's who you know pulls the strigs of this town which card goes next Pulls the strings of this town. Which card goes next? There is no card goes next.

Whose turn is it? So it doesn't even, it doesn't begin, and there is no card that goes next. The person that goes, okay, here's your, okay, here's your deck. Okay, so basically what you want to do is try to work on getting these bunches. So you're going to take cards each of your turns and try to work on getting bunches. Now, when you get a set of three, you're going to set it down. Now, if you got three oranges, you put down an orange pie. So I'm going now. I have to put one of those down?

You pick up a card. Let's say you picked up a... Oh, this is the card you picked up. You want it? Look at it. You already got one. You want this? You do, right?

Because then you could work on your kiwi bunch. It's reminiscent of gin. Kind of. And it draws to mind the concept of a glass of gin with delicious fruit chunks floating. Kiwi gin drinks. Now, you want this? You want this? You're putting that down?

Give me it. Give me that. You put it down? Now what are you going to discard? I'm taking it. You want to discard your orange? Or your strawberry? Maybe your pineapple?

No way. You want to discard your apple? Or your banana? I'm not giving anybody that. What are you going to discard? You got to discard one. What are you going to discard? What happens if I put down the mouse?

Somebody else is going to pick it up. Don't laugh at me. Use it against you. You said it was bad. Use the mouse on me. So then if you set down these kiwis, a mouse can come and eat one of the kiwis. The opponent can do this. The opponent has their mouse eat my kiwi.

Yeah. Just like Jen. So what happens? Okay, so here's what you're gonna do so you're gonna set down your bunches right you know that you set down your bunches maybe you got a kiwi pie there's only one kind of fun you ever talk about living in manhattan and setting down your the bunches. Okay. Yes, I know that's the only thing I do know at this point. And at the end of the game, you're going to count up your points. Okay? Who got the most bunches?

The only way I get points is by having bunches. Yeah, but you can... What is it? And the pie is more points. Yeah, pie is is more points. Yeah, pie is twice the points. And the pineapple is the only one that's extra? Pineapple is 50 points.

If you had a pineapple pie, three times five, that's 200 points. Oh, my God. Yeah, first person to get to 1,000 points wins the game. Now, there's all these old tricks along the way. There's locusts, and there's mice, and there's grabbers. So you'd never be too sure what's going to happen. You can't trust the people around you. And you look up, and the midterms are over, right? Mission accomplished.

Oh, come on. And before you know it, all of a sudden, they've taken over the house. Well, this is coming out on Tuesday which is election day and so we have a message for everyone listening throw out the game

put the game into the kitchen trash drop the drop the game in the trash and go vote now listen i just want you to know that that is not the intention is to say don't vote buy this game okay this is for people that do vote to play it. The game is for voters only. So it's not for... It's not allowed to be played by non-citizens?

It's for children. It can't be played by convicted felons correctly serving a sentence? Wow. Dang, Joe. It's for children. Children. I would think this game would be incredibly popular in prisons.

Do you really think so? Yeah. I know so. I'll send it to prisons, I guess. You should. You should. But you're going to have to loosen up some of the rules around voting.

I will say this. I sent it to my friend. Which friend? Do we know them? Yeah. I will say this is that you know I sent it to my friend and to be honest which friend do we know them yeah yeah I don't want Ted Kaczynski

close Ted Lasso close wow Ted Bundy close and he threw it in the trash Wow. Ted Bundy. Close. And he threw it in the trash.

Doesn't sound like a friend of me. Well, how would you respond to that? To getting your game thrown in the trash? Lose this number. I'll show you the video. It's pretty disheartening, I'd say. There's a video? Yeah.

He sent me a video of him throwing it in the trash are you ready yeah here it is there's fruit and it is the kitchen trash wow that's literally exactly what would you do that's exactly what we said to do that's exactly what we recommend i'd say what i do is say thank you for believing in the future of this country and still knowing that you have a voice. And for knowing that the polls are already opening and that you are able to vote early provided that you purchase the game Fruits and

throw it in the trash. Fruits is the opiate of the masses. And what we have to do is we have to put away these fruits and pick up our voting pens and start to write down who the president is. And what we have to do is we have to put away these fruits and pick up our voting. And we will be. And we will be. Right. Down as well.

President. Please don't defund. Fruits is being defunded. Do not defund fruits. OK. Now, I just want to know, honestly, you know, you everybody here has had projects that they're promoting. Right.

And that you send packages to you, to your friend. Right. Mm hmm. Yeah. Now, what would you do if you got your to your friend, right? Mm-hmm. And now what would you do if you got your package thrown in the trash? Wouldn't know. Nobody sent me one. I have no idea how I would react to that. And that's why you do a podcast.

You can't. They won't even let you drag it in there. People have dragged. Dragged? Yeah. Who's dragged? Dragged what? The podcast. It is not dra Drag it. Yeah. Who's drag? Drag what? The podcast.

It is not draggable. True. You can't drag it. Click it as hard as you want. Double click it, why don't you? Mm-hmm. Love to see that. Ooh, it feels good.

I felt it. How much is it? How much is a game? How much would you pay for it? I guess slightly less than the paper it's printed on. Sean. Sean. Paper is too shiny.

It's not even that shiny. It's not even that shiny. It's basically... I literally need a golf visor to look at this. I literally need to be wearing a Callaway golf visor to even look at this. It's not even that shiny, okay? It was just in the concrete jungle. Who's the name of your game partner on this? Josh Knapp.

And I'll say this. We just found out dad's had the same name huh i'll say this we just found out dad's had the same name your dad's the same name i thought you were saying gad has the same name like josh gad has the same name as josh like yeah yeah you just found out that josh has the same first name as josh gad kevin can you delete that whole can you just delete that josh nap can you delete that exchange from that's what someone should have told him before he invented fruits could you delete it hey josh kevin can you Hey, Josh. Kevin, can you hear me? How'd you sleep this one off? Kevin, can you hear me?

What part did he come up with? Kevin, can you hear me? Yeah, what was his idea? Kevin, can you delete that other part? Let me guess. Just doing a check-in. Kevin. No, you hear me, Kevin?

What was Josh's favorite part to come up with? Slice the mouse's nose off. Seems like Kevin can't hear me. Is Joe talking to me? Yeah. I had to do all these check-ins, Joe. The boys pay me by task. I've said your name 16 times, Kevin,

in the last 16 minutes. Huh? What? Yeah, what was the part that Josh liked coming up with? What was the part that Josh liked coming up with? Yeah. Josh is kind of like... Josh comes up with the numbers. He came up with the different numbers.

He did the numbers. He did pineapple 50. How many cards? He did apple 10. How many points? He's really good at numbers. Numbers guy. I know one of those. Joe, I'll make you a deal. I'll cut that exchange, but I need legal help. Huh? If you can provide me a lawyer, I'll

cut that exchange. For what? My best friend's suing me for a libel. Libel? Is that how you pronounce it? Who is your best friend and what did you do? Libel woman. His name's Crisp. Holy bibble. Crisp?

Yeah. Crispy? Crispshin. Hey? Crisp-shin. He goes by Crisp. I called him Richard Dryface, and he's suing me for Libble. I can't. I'm happy to cut that exchange, Joe, but I'm going to need some legal help. He says it's going to be a very bad year for me. I can't defend you because I believe you're wrong.

You believe I'm wrong? He's suing me. Crisp is right. You are wrong. Richard Dryface. Was it? Some best friend. Was it?

I mean, I guess how dry was it is the question that you're going to have to. It wasn't that dry, but he says, I don't comb my hair anymore. I said, you're Richard Dryface. So he started it. I think I have a pretty good case, Joe. But it wasn't that dry. Yeah. And he was right about your hair.

The bottom half was really dry. Bottom half's supposed to be dry. Huh? Yeah. Yeah, because you want the liquid to drip down because if you're wet on the bottom everybody says something to you you need a napkin Joe I'm really going to need some help

fruits on the bottom of the trash bye