Hollywood Handbook - Jo Firestone, Our Gameshow Friend

Episode Date: October 15, 2018

The Boys have a little fun making a gameshow with JO FIRESTONE live from The Bell House.This episode is sponsored by Superduperstitious podcast, Blue Apron ( www.blueapron.com/HANDBOOK ), hims ( www.forhims.com/THEBOYS ), and RXBAR ( www.RXBAR.com/THEBOYS  code: THEBOYS).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Michelle Pfeiffer, Rupert Grint. Small, small, small. Small, small, small. Here comes Hayes and Shawn. Hollywood Hammer. So... I'm there with Kim... Katrol and... Buju. Banton.

Buju. Yes, the legendary reggae recording artist. Oh, I know. And we're panicking. We're freaking out. It's too late, you know. We're in the back of the factory. The scary skeletons are going out,

and no one has recorded anything in the voice box for them to say when you walk by. Oh, no. And activate. So we're scrambling, and it's like, you want to say something that's funny but also scary? They're going out. They're going out.

The truck is there, and the truck is going to leave. Can we find the middle between having too loud sound and no sound? middle between no having no mic too loud sound and no sound i want i'd like to still have the screech of feedback but i want um oh it sounds like this is where we're at anyway this is some of what we're dealing with with the skeletons is the levels because you know it's a freaky skeleton and you walk by and you're going to trick-or-treat and the eyes light up and it'll say like here here comes the bones or you know but if the levels right if it's not right if it's spiking then it's like and honestly i wish i thought of here comes the bones at that time you know now you've had time

with the gift of time i I came up with exactly what they could say, but Kim and I are ripping our hair out, and she's going like, maybe she's like, oh, maybe you could say, I'm sort of the Samantha, and I'm like, don't do that. It's not you. Yeah. It's not your skeleton.

Yeah, it's just going to be a skeleton. They don't know that this is our business. Yes. Yeah. You've had the same talk with Kim. She thinks, yes. She thinks that it is her skeleton being represented. Yeah. And she did model it. Anyway.

They don't know that. No, it's a yes. And we're trying to distance ourselves from that. Yeah. We want the skeleton to be bought on its own merit not because it's a celebrity uh so you know we're recording all kinds of crazy stuff and and buju's just kind of in the corner he's sort of yeah i had forgotten he was there yeah and you know buju you know when he sort of gets he gets in the tank just sort of gets in the think tank up there.

Yes. And he turns to me and he goes, I've got it. And I go, you sure? And he goes, give me the thingy. And I hand it to him. What was it in this case? It was like a box that you speak into, and then we put it in the skeleton's butt.

Oh, okay. And then the voice comes out of its butt. You do it for each of them? Individually, yeah. Yeah. And then he takes it, and he's still for a moment, and he goes,

Strange this feeling I'm feeling. Oh, Jalaf, we will always believe in. Though they may think my faith is in vain. Till Shiloh we sing Rastafari's name. I turn to Kim. She's weeping. I go, why would the skeleton say that it doesn't make sense

I understand why you would sing that on one of your albums sure and I didn't want it to be I didn't want it to be spiritual is it possible that he also thinks the skeleton is him and this is what we got into where basically we collected a lot of investors Is it possible that he also thinks the skeleton is him? And this is what we got into where basically we collected a lot of investors. Because your case, what you're making is that it is you.

We collected a lot of investors by promising that we would make it their skeleton. And this is sort of the moment where I saw the flaw in that plan. So, you know, yeah, long story long, we just had to say boo. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook and it's a kind of kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet linebacker hallways of this industry we call showbiz. What up, what up? If we could bring it down just a little bit, we are doing two shows tonight. So what does that mean? What does that mean?

Let's establish sort of how this is all going to play out. Some of you may be going to both shows. Selfish. Yeah. Very greedy. Very, you know, at the same time, of course, if you do two shows, one show is the good show. That show is going to be the next show. The next one.

It's going to have to be. And if you're not going to both shows, that's kind of on you because this one went on sale first. Obviously, if you got the tickets for this and then the second one was announced, if you were a real fan, you'd be going to both. Yeah. What we feel is the second show is so late.

Yeah. And I don't want to be dragging. So I got to save my energy. Even now it's very late. I feel like hell. I don't want to be here. And I don't want to be doing this show. So what I will say is if you notice during the show,

Sean's kind of drifting off. Sean's not paying attention. Sean doesn't look like he's trying at all. He hasn't said anything for 25 minutes. And he's not even holding his mic in case he thinks of something to say. You know, I'm saving it up for the second show. Those 25 minutes will go for the second show. Those 25 minutes will go into

the late show. Oh, second show, I start with a 25-minute monologue. Yes. Yes. We love being in New York. Okay, pizza much? Sorry,

but it's true. I'm addicted to this stuff. I have a watch that I wear here where instead of numbers, every little number is a slice of pizza. Because when you are here, it is pizza time. All the time. I'm on pizza time. Yeah, it's funny.

I have this great doctor in New York and I always go to get my physical here. And he did actually... He did actually run some tests and he said, I've never seen this, but your blood type is pizza. And his little doctor's thing, he's a New York doctor, so of course instead of the little here here he has a tiny like a bagel bite yeah he has a miniature pizza

yeah he's like you know open your mouth say ah put a pizza in there slit a pizza in there uh but the other thing that we love about New York, we love to come here and discover new talent. Yes, thank you. It's so exciting here. There's this underground scene. This village scene. Where we go to the village.

Hayes and I throw on our black turtlenecks. Yeah. And we slide on down to the village. Underneath a Chinese butchery. Yes. A duck killing factory or something. And we light up a long Virginia Slim and just sort of pop away

and just feel the beat of the city underneath us. And they'll do these shows. They'll do these shows where they'll like, it's these very avant-garde shows. Oh, this shit's out there. Where they'll be smeared with dookie and and like reading the the bible yeah no and it's honestly more like poetry than comedy in some ways the stuff that you see and and it freaks me out and i've been around the block. I've been all the way back. Yeah. And sometimes I'm going,

wow, I thought my show was pretty edgy. Yeah. They would, for example, like I'm about to drink this water. What they would do is like spray it all over the audience and be like, I'm Shamu at SeaWorld. No, they literally would do something like that. Not that, but they would do something.

Not that. No., but they would do something... Not that. No. But something crazy. Yeah, and I forgot to bring my water, but what they would do is they would... They would ask someone to bring them a water on stage. In the show. During the show, you know?

They might try to disguise it as part of the content. They'd make it like a fake example they were giving. Yeah. Some of these edgelord artists would... I don't even have to turn around. Do you notice this,

because I've opened two of these waters now? They're not sealed. Like the cap doesn't do the snapping thing that it's supposed to do. So I'll say this, Bell House seems like a nice venue. Everyone's been very helpful. They're filling the water bottles and reusing them.

Yes. Everyone's been very helpful They're filling the water bottles And reusing them Yes Hang on That makes me think it was Kevin Kevin, yes Hang on, let's see Let's see if we can hear it Oh Okay So don't sue me bell house that makes me think kevin has been selling water

and it wasn't that hot today so we had some left over he did come into the the theater today with like a thousand ones yeah and i know he wasn't dancing today the theater today with like a thousand ones. Yeah, and I know he wasn't dancing today. Right, guys? We're in New York. Let's get real. I'm in New York, baby. Can we introduce

this discovery? Please. So we found this freak show. She is something of a caged gorilla. Yes. I'm terrified of her. Which means I have to have her in my show. That's how you know, isn't it? Oh, yeah. The second I felt fear in my show. That's how you know, isn't it? Oh, yeah.

The second I felt fear grip my stomach. When this starts. Yes, but faster. I can't, my hand can't go that fast. I know. Yeah. I know. But when that starts, that's when you say,

I have to have you in my show. Yeah. And so we will have her in my show. Please welcome Joe Firestone. Joe. Hairstyle. Hayes made me feel like I had to stand up. I tried to shake both of your hands. Mine is, I am scared.

And so this is all wet. And I know that I'm sick. I just can't do that to you. You sound good. That's the nicest thing anyone has do that to you. You sound good. That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. That's too bad. Joe! Hi!

We love this stuff. That you guys, the wild shit you're doing. Oh boy. Where do you come up with this stuff? It's insane. What do you mean? Just your, your stuff.

Hayes, help me out. Yeah. What do you, what does he mean? Your style is so like this animal. No, yeah. That is sick and hurt. What?

And is trying to take someone with it. What? Yeah. What? Into death. I'm just trying to do comedy. Okay, well, interesting. Interesting.

Because it's almost as if you are like a sick, hurt beast. Uh-huh, right. A ram, like a ram. Yes, that thinks it's unfair that it's dying and so wants to take someone with it. Right. Yeah. Right, so the ram is dying It's unfair that it's dying and so wants to take someone with it. Right. Yeah. Right.

Take. So the ram is dying. And so it takes someone else to death. Yeah. Yeah. Like another ram or haze. Yeah. And I get to be a ram too.

So haze is also a ram. Haze gets to be a ram. Right. And you lock your horns with mine and you run off a cliff. But I'm sick. I'm still sick. But I'm healthy. But I have enough energy to ram you off the cliff.

Well, you run off the cliff. You lock horns with mine. You run off the cliff. What happens? Sorry. I thought you would know this. It's your style. But you're a sick ram.

You lock horns with haze. Haze is... Do you want to be any particular kind of ram, Haze? I guess the dad? Yeah. I'm so sorry. Do I get to pick what kind of ram I am? you're a sick ram

but absolutely if you want to add another modifier well I also want to be a dad ram okay two dads going to battle is there an older story in all of humanity? I think not

I guess I'll be the little baby of humanity? I think not. I guess I'll be the little baby. Oh, no! Are you a baby human or a baby ram? Oh, maybe I'm a bunny. That could be cool. That could be really cool. They're going to animate this show.

Okay, really quick, just to recap. So my style is You're a sick daddy ram. So I'm a sick daddy ram and I approach you guys just hanging out ram and bunny on a cliff. Yeah, we're friends. Do we have a project we're working on or something?

Yeah, you and I, I guess we do a podcast. Okay. I'd listen to that. Wait. So the bunny and the ram do a podcast. Yeah. Yep. Yet they still have to fight.

Well, no, we're not fighting with each other. No, no, no. We're friends. I understand. I would never. I'm asking why a ram fight if there's technology? Instinct.

Yeah, it's funny you mention technology because the human mind is sort of the ultimate supercomputer. That's, I didn't mean, that's not what I was trying to do. I didn't mean to, I wasn't trying to say that. No, he is, we know you couldn't come up with something like that.

Wait. This is a new point. Is there any way not to sit in the middle? Well, let's see. I need my water to go here. Right. I just got this fresh one. Right.

Yes. So I'd be willing to switch with Hayes if that helps. I could try that. I mean, that doesn't really... It still leaves me in the middle. You want to see if it feels better? Sure. Well, we can try it.

And now there's a little something for this side, right? No way, no way. I can't do this here. It's really close to Joe, isn't it? I mean, it feels exactly the same for me. Yeah. It's so close to Joe.

How were you able to do this? When you do Dr. Game Show, what's the seating arrangement? I don't know if people heard my question. Yeah, let's do the question again. No wooing. If we could just get one with no woo. Hayes will ask the whole

question. Yes. And then our guest will make the noise after that. And then the rest of the show kind of plays out that same way. It's kind of a continuation on that theme, if that makes sense. Sorry, real quick, just a quick question. If they

don't woo, can I woo? If that's the answer, if the answer to what is the seating arrangement for Dr. Game Show is just an enthusiastic woo, I can't stop you. I hope it isn't that. No, that

would be insane. Well, you know, I am a dying ram just ready to push someone off a cliff. She admitted it. The whole time. She's like, what? I wasn't.

And now she slipped. Right, right. Did I remember to bring my water with me or is this your water? I brought mine. Okay, good. Maybe Kevin should bring me a fresh one. Seems like I should have a water, no? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. So, Hayes brought up Dr. Game Show. I see him back there. He's not doing anything. Thank you. The question was... I just... What's up?

It's just there's like a lot of... You know what I mean? I gotta get this out. I gotta get the question out. No problem. No problem. We got so much planned. So many more

phases to the show. How many phases would you say? Well, this is phase nine, I think. Of almost 200. Yes. Would you mind just somehow showing me when

a new phase has started? Because I don't really understand the pacing. Of the show? Mm-hmm. I guess it is a pretty complex show. So how we signal each other is the way these waters are set up. So you won't be able to see it, but this is code. Oh, this is code for phase nine?

Yes, this is the phase nine waters. This is the phase nine water arrangement. And there's also a lot of pheromones. Yeah. Not unlike an ant colony, Hayes and I signal each other through the scent of our hormones. Yeah.

And you'll be able to see it sometimes under the lights. You can kind of see a little you know like sort of a shimmer. What does haze smell like? Oh god. Right now or in general?

Phase nine. Oak. Now or in general? Phase nine. Oak. Do you want to know what Sean smells like to me? Yeah. Sean, to me, smells like nothing at all. Because that's, like like my life. That's my normal.

You know what I mean? And everything else smells like stinky shit. Do you understand that? No. Hayes smells like oak to me. Right, right. Yeah. Hay smells like oak to me. Right, right.

Yeah. If I could just do... The one question you wanted to ask? Please. Yeah. You want to know what the seating arrangement... Please let me do it. Mm-hmm. On Dr. Game Show Would it help you Hayes

If we move away from the question And come back to it Because it feels so loaded for you right now You're justifiably furious with Joe I don't feel The whole rest of the show Kind of comes off of the question Well I don't feel like it's a of the show kind of comes off of the question. Well, I don't feel like

it's a very interesting answer. Okay, so you do have one. Yeah. Well, yeah, we sit. Okay. We sit. Well, now it's ruined. Now it is actually ruined.

I'm just telling you we sit to record. I think it'd be ludicrous to stand. All I'm saying is we sit to record, and it's not that interesting. It's a game show. Who is ever sitting on a game show?

We're not being seen. It's a podcast. I guess Regis. Yeah. Are you listening to me? Regis. Meredith Vieira. Meredith Vieira, yeah.

Terry Crews. Right, right. Who else sits on a game show? Are we moving to phase 10? Joe, we had sort of a fun idea for this show. You do the Dr. Game Show, and that's who you are. And so we thought, hey, Dr. Game Joe, is that something? Did you do that?

That's free. That's free. That's free. That's free? Mm-hmm. Just like your appearance on this podcast. Right. Tickets are pretty pricey. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Where's that go? Where's that go? Mm-hmm. Well, nobody showed up. As you can see, it's really dark out there. What is that go? Well, nobody showed up.

As you can see, it's really dark out there. What is that noise? There's nobody there. What's the noise? That's Chef Kevin. We have him run around in a circle and just kind of hoot and holler. Kevin? Kevin?

Kevin, come back. Kevin? Wow, he does respond. Oh, he's got the mic already. Every live show we do now, I talk to the sound guy, and he's like, so we got the three mics on stage,

and the producer said that he should just have like an extra, and he's like, so we got the three mics on stage, and the producer said that he should just have, like, an extra one. Just for, like, just in case there's something he's going to do. Yeah, don't worry. We took care of the emergency mic. Kevin. Kevin. Hey, guys.

Chef Kevin here. Has to have it. Kevin's got gotta eat. Hi, Joe. Are we loving where Kevin's sitting, or do we want him sort of right by me here behind the table? Yeah, if you could just sort of tuck in by dad. Kevin, Kevin, there's chairs backstage.

Okay. Okay. Chairs in this family. When you tell Kevin, I just want to let you know, when you tell him a fact, the answer is always going to be okay. It has to start with, Kevin, please, or... Kevin, please know there are chairs backstage. Great, thank you.

Shut your... But I can tell he's not even doing that. I can grab one if Joe wants. No, you're fine. Forget it. I mean, I don't even... I just feel like you're a grown-up sitting on the floor

behind another grown-up. He is sort of a grown-up sitting on the floor behind another grown-up. He is sort of a grown-up today, isn't he? What did you do today, Chef Kevin? And I want to see you too, so scooch in really so I can see your eyes. Chef Kevin, you are a little bit of a grown-up today, aren't you? Aren't you, Chef Kevin? Yeah.

Yeah? What did you do today, buddy? You can say it. I shaved my face. And what happened? It hurt a lot. And I...

So when we saw Chef Kevin today, initially, it looked as if he had just done a bad job eating a glazed donut. And I said to Kevin, you have something on your face. I think I thought it was sunscreen that you had not properly rubbed in. And your response was,

that's skin. Do you want to have your thing on stage? Yeah, I should probably grab it. One sec. Kevin has a little thing that he needs after today's events. Is he going to get a chair? Okay, so you've got... Very good.

You've got your cream for your face. Should we make a... Should we make a plan for if she doesn't come back? Oh, good. Thanks, Joe. Haha, very funny, but no one wants that. Scooch over a little bit. Kevin sat

in your chair while you were gone. Kevin, how playful. Yeah. But then as soon as you came back, he was like, just kidding. I'm sorry. It's just, it's a comedy show, so. So, Dr. Game Joe.

Are you saying that's the show? Are you saying that's my name now? I don't know. You host a different podcast called Dr. Game Show. Something we like to do when we have the host of another podcast on is... Hollywood Shun Book. Joe, if you think I didn't originally pitch that as the title of this show, you are dreaming.

That's going to be the whole ride home. See? She agrees with me. It just makes sense. How do you pronounce dreaming? Hmm? How did you pronounce dreaming? Streaming?

No, I don't know. I don't think he said that word. pronounce dreaming? Streaming? No, I don't know. I don't think he said that word. Did you? Dreaming? Dreaming? What did I say? I believe you said Oh. Dreaming? So, if you do this, okay.

If you sort of pick at one word, then he's going to be thinking about all of them. It's a house of cards over here. Yeah. We can't touch anything. So you do, Dr. Game Show, sort of the flagship Earwolf New York show. No, definitely not.

You and Katie Couric are sort of holding it down over here. I would say it's the least popular show in New York in terms of Earwolf podcasts. How much of a doll is Katie? I've never met Katie. Such a dream, isn't she?

Right, right. She is a total doll. One thing we like to do, and we would do this if Katie was here, she's super busy. isn't she? Right, right. She is a total doll. Yeah. One thing we like to do, and we would do this if Katie was here, she's super busy. Right. Is when we have

the host of another podcast, we do their podcast to them and show them how easy it would be for us. We're going to be rotating. And if there's time, we'll make you do our podcast you're gonna show me

how easy my podcast is well we'll see hey maybe it'll be really hard but it won't not for Hayes certainly not for Kevin I'm really sleepy

did you hear before yeah okay thank you thank you for listening I didn't know you were also a fan that's I'm really sleepy. Did you hear before? Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Thank you for listening. I didn't know you were also a fan. That actually kicks ass. That's really cool of you.

Yeah. So we're going to do some Dr. Game Joes with you. So it is the title of the show, not the name. Well, it's what you play in. It's the title of the show, your the name? Well, it's what you play in. It's the title of the show, your name, and what you do in the show. Ah. Mm-hmm. So.

Like theater. What's so good? What's like the best episode of your show that you ever did? The funniest one. The funniest. And what, and follow up? How fun was that?

What's like the game that people are like, yes. Oh, you're like, this should actually be a game. Right, right. Well, there's so many. Is this part of it? Mm-mm.

No. Let's see. Funniest. Yeah, what's like the most kick-ass game you've ever played? Kick-ass game we've ever played. Kick-ass. This is kick-ass. Any game.

Literally. Literally one game. Okay, okay, I got one. Okay, okay, okay. This is a game someone submitted where it's called Is It Raining? And what happens is callers call in and we have to figure out if it's raining.

Okay. That's good. Yeah. Very good for this specific... Easily replicated for this specific. Easily replicated in this moment. Couldn't, not a better one you could have thought of, I don't think. This one will be good.

I can come up with another. No, what? Are you crazy? It just might. We haven't even played this one. Right. It might be difficult because everyone's inside. this one right it might be difficult because everyone's inside you we could do a variation on it where chef kevin is like facing away from us and maybe he has his cream and he could talk to us and we could guess whether he has his cream on or not. So is it creaming?

Is it creaming? Is it creaming? Is it creaming? Okay. Kevin's taking charge. He's already got the cream. So Kevin's going to put the cream... Well, we don't know. He is or he isn't,

but one way or another, we're going to guess. He's going to put the cream on? We don't know. Joe, on your show, you send out magnets as a prize. Now... Well, I don't. Well, someone send out magnets as a prize. Now... Well, I don't. Well, someone does.

Your producer? Yeah. Yeah, well, Kevin, our producer, is never going to figure that out. But what I was thinking is... He would get very stuck. If you can imagine him trying to do something like that. Well, he'd be stuck to his car. Can you guys...

And it would be moving. Can I just ask you real quick, is Kevin over here just covered in cream? I mean, can we just... Joe, Joe, I'm so... I'm so sorry. I really thought that you understood what this game was.

It's based on a game that is the best game that has ever been done on your show. I guess you're used to hosting. No. The host would ask, is Kevin covered in cream? And then we would say, yeah. But we would have to guess based on how he sounds when he's talking. But the game has not started.

We were talking about your magnets. We're giving you a little boost. Oh, thanks. Kind of juicing up the show. Like we said, there's no cash involved in this. Of course, right. Exposure's worth so much more. Right, right, right.

Exposure's infinitely more valuable. Is this even going on the regular show? Might be a pro version. Might be, yeah. Yeah. Depending on how it goes, yeah. Yeah, it's kind of straight to premium, huh? But we are throwing out like two-thirds of these things.

Right. Should we call the game Stitcher Creamium? Because, of course, some of our episodes are only available on Stitcher Premium. We do want people to pay that money. So if we can tie it into the game. What's your guys' code? Oh, the boys. Yeah.

Use offer code the boys. And that's what we say. Yeah. Oh, crrr. So. What's yours? It's Joe time. No.

No. Okay. All right. That's good. I'm not letting another code on my show. No, we've made that mistake before. Never again. Yes. So magnets, we were going to mistake before. Never again. Yes.

So magnets, we were going to do a different prize. What's the prize? Oh, yeah. Well, I was... Because a magnet, you kind of, you know, you use it. Maybe you drop it. It goes away. You don't have that anymore.

Well, we... No, I don't know. Nobody's ever said they've dropped a magnet. But they're not going to admit that to you, Joe. No, Joe. It's very rude. They're not going to call you back and be like, I dropped it. You use it. It doesn't stick to everything.

But they did drop it. A lot of them are dropping it. A lot of people don't have them anymore. They're trash. They're all trash. But, so what's more permanent than a magnet? And I realize what we should do is whoever wins hayes will teach you something about magnets and that is forever that's fucked up it is a little fucked up.

It's sort of savage. You brought me on this podcast to play Stitcher Creamium and give out a prize of you teaching people about magnets. No, we brought you on here with no idea what we were going to do. Uh-huh.

We got a solid 48 minutes into the show, then we decided to make it about a game show called Stitcher Creamium. Yes. So, I mean, you seem very excited to play that. Me? Yes. What do you mean by that?

We are gonna... So the way the game is gonna go is Kevin is going to either apply his cream or not. We don't know. Can I just point out that I think it's more of a gel? So it's interesting that you say that. It is clear.

I did get a really big mosquito bite earlier, and I did put some of the cream on, and it was more creamy than like a gel. Also, Stitcher Gelmium doesn't really sound like anything. You know what I mean? I guess we'd call it the Gel Close Marathon or something. That could be good. And then they might let us do it. Are you guys friends with Matt Besser?

No. I mean, am I friends with anyone in this crazy modern world? We're all so addicted to our screens now. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like, can you really have a friend when all you're talking to is this? You know, they're looking at a screen. Right, right.

It's like, yes, I have like a thousand friends online. Yeah. But are any of them going to like make me soup if I'm sick? Or help me with my soup? If I'm like in a soup making competition Are they gonna taste it? You wanna enter with a friend Well no No

It's literally not what I said But he needs help Yeah You're not gonna credit your friend with helping you In the soup competition? Well what did they do? I had the idea for the soup. Yeah.

I bought all the ingredients. And he just needs a little... It's coming out very dry. So he just needs a little help making it less dry. So, you know, I mean, they're doing some problem solving, but it's not really the same as, like, actually cooking the actual soup. Yeah, it's like one thing. If that's what they're going to do, they should enter the contest themselves.

And I will not help them. They're not my friends. Um, are you friends with Matt Besser? Yeah. Yeah, I'm friends with him. Yeah, we're friends. Okay. Yeah. Great.

Yeah, we're friends. That's great. Yeah, I emailed him. Oh, you hang out? I know. Oh. Do you chief the kind buds?

What? Do you like to get suited? Do you chief the kind buds? I mean, she said she was friends with Matt Besser. That's like a euphemism. You guys want to go out back and make friends with Matt Besser? So we can play this game.

Another... We can do two games at once. So you can hear... He's like in the zone. Are we going to hear... I actually have like a hundred games right now. But I'm just like only to for you guys to be able

to handle it. But I'm thinking of a hundred games. A hundred? Yeah. On what phase are we in now? What are your fans? One of the five fans I've had. Two fans. Did you move the thing? Huh? Oh. one of the references yeah two three did you move

the thing huh oh ten so Kevin is going to speak into the mic

are we gonna hear I hope so. Okay. Hey guys, Chef Kevin here. So that was a test one test. But so what we're going to do. So Kevin, are you all set?

Have you either applied the cream or not? Yes. Okay. Oh, that gives me a clue. So we listen to his voice and we decide whether or not he has applied the cream

to your upper lip. That's the hurting spot, right? Yeah, that hurts the most. The place where you almost had a mustache once. Ha ha ha. He's going to pretend that wasn't him because he's facing away.

It's fine. I can take a joke. Hey, none of us are perfect. So then If he Kevin if you are wearing The cream Yes because this is part of it You can ask him questions

But he can lie And is it true that every other answer Is a lie But you don't know which one he's starting with? Yes. And if we do think he's... If we think you're wearing the cream, Kevin, and it is correct that you are wearing the cream,

how do you say it? I'm cream... I'm cream okay the answer is I'm cream so Kev so if we so if he has used the cream Kevin will say I'm cream So if he has used the cream, Kevin will say, I'm cream. So here, another game we can do. So I'd like to announce a side game, which was we all had dinner tonight at an Italian restaurant. I didn't.

But I'm speaking to you. I mean, all of us, me and Sean and Kevin and the audience. And a lot of our other friends. Yes. I thought you said you didn't have any friends oh right i've been caught in a lie i was trying to make you feel better wait you were trying to make me feel better by saying more people went to dinner ah yeah well no i had to be honest about the dinner Yeah He also is alternating between the truth and a lie I've been playing the game all night

For the entire show It's all the game Joe Wait I'm so sorry I'm so sorry Kevin Hi Joe We are still in a side game. I just want to remind you. Sorry, Kevin.

Could you just let me know what you're going to say if you're not wearing cream and I am convinced there's no cream? No cream, no dream. Wait. Okay, Kevin, but what are you going to say when she asks? I'm going to go, ah ah that's the stuff okay great okay that's a big that's a big clue um the game that I was proposing the side game is

please at dinner Italian restaurant the game is guess what Kevin had for dinner tonight at a nice Italian restaurant in New York now let, let's gather everything we know about Kevin. This is the most basic burger bitch who ever... If you haven't heard the first two words of Kevin's Tinder bio were The Office, his favorite... His favorite TV show.

So that gives you A tiny glimpse Into just like one little Just shred of a molecule Of his basicness Which is infinite Wait Sorry, Kevin

Hi, Joe Um Um, Kevin, what are you going to say if I guess the right dish that you ordered at the Italian restaurant? Whoa, you got it. so holding all this in our mind who kevin is just the most basic herb mayonnaise that's not what he ordered they don't sell that that's what he is so what did he get at this nice Italian restaurant? What did he say to the waiter that he wanted? Kevin goes, to the waiter, Kevin goes,

sir, do you have buttered noodles? That's very close. That's very close. That's very close. So close. Kevin, can we just hear your one-word order to the waiter? I'll have the spaghetti with marinara sauce, please. I think because he's vegan, which you didn't know,

butter is off the table. Yes. Hey, Kevin. The spaghetti. Kevin. Hey, Joe. Kevin, what do you call the... When you put the meat in the sauce, what do you call the, um, when you put the meat in the sauce?

What do you call that? Meat sauce. Okay. Me too, Kevin. I like Joe. Kevin. This is the best conversation he's ever had. So we're reaching, you're out of questions.

What? For Kevin. So now we each have to guess. Oh, can I ask Kevin one question? Oh, yeah. Kevin, when you did that sarcastic laugh earlier... What the fuck were you thinking? What the fuck were you thinking?

What the fuck were you thinking? You think you're not going to pay for that after the show? I actually have something else I want to bring up. Right before we walked out here, I said, can I use the bathroom for one second? And you remember what you said? No. You said, go quick.

And I guess my question for you is, or what? The guy said, are you guys ready to start? We all said yes, and he left. And then you went, can I go to the bathroom? Yeah. And the answer to my question,

what were you going to do? Kevin, Kevin, you can come to Dr. Game Show. Move to New York. Oh, that's nice. We get Manolo. Game Show. Move to New York. Oh, that's nice. We get Manolo. This rules. This was our plan the whole time.

Like when Bane got caught on purpose. Yeah. Yes. Thank you. Getting caught was part of his plan. Oh, yeah. And that's why we've

been dragging this guy around but i've been looking at him and just seeing one day manolo we're effectively bane but for earwolf the podcast company um so we should play play the cream game. As time does wind down. I guess... Joe, why don't you guess whether Kevin is cream or not? Hold on, hold on. You can't have that be your guess. You said I guess. I guess I'll have Joe go first

That's allowed That's allowed to be a guess Well I guess I guess I guess I guess Hayes He already used it up Oh

Okay Wait sorry If she gets it right Okay. Wait, sorry. If she gets it right, do I just say, you got it? Kevin. Well. No, Kevin. Kevin, what was the point of my questions? Kevin.

Kevin, that was. That was for the dinner game. If she got that right, then you say, whoa, you got it. Yeah. If it's right, you say, I cream. Yes. Yeah. I feel like I'm going nuts.

No. This just happened. I want you, Joe. No, I know, I know. We just went over this whole thing. I mean, honestly, honestly, fuck you, Kevin. Honestly. Joe's up here.

She's trying to help you. Honestly, I'm a dead ram up here. I'm trying my best. The least you could do is remember the fucking game. We all get there sooner or later with Kevin. This is the longest it's ever

gone. He's having a great show. Me, I'm saving it for the next show. I didn't know if you said, like, no cream, and you were right. Who is this directed at? Kevin. I'm sorry. Who is this for?

Kevin, put down the shovel. Go ahead, Joe. Wait, what? You want me to go, but do you know what you're going to do? If I go, are you there

to meet me halfway? Always. What are you going to say if I'm wrong? No cream, no dream. Yes, Kevin, we know. But what are you going to say If she's wrong? In a way, that's my laugh

You think, you know It's hard for me to watch my co-host get a big laugh Can you please not Can you please not get so close to me? Absolutely, I'm used to this. He's calling back something. Said earlier. said earlier. Sort of funny to pretend it.

You wouldn't want me near you. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. That's funny as hell. No, it's a comedy show, you know. No. I know. You were doing great with the just moving back.

But remember we said, like, then that's it. Hey, let's be chill. Here, how about, wouldn't it be funny if we called him Kremen? Kremen. Kremen. Kremen. Kremen or Kremen?

Well, Kevin, if his name was Keevan. If his name was Keevan, then I'd say Kremen, but because his name is Kevin, I'd say Kremen. Then he has to be Kremen. Yeah. No, I'm with you there. Right. Just kind of something to clear the air. We could call him Cremen.

Ha ha ha ha ha. That sounds fun. We have so little time left. Yes, we really are out of time. Just seems like... So the conclusion of the game is we're all out of questions for Kevin. You just have to declare

cream or no cream. And then Kevin will provide his answer and display his lip to us and the crowd. So we all do it at the same time. First Kevin asks, is it creaming?

Then we say... And we go one, two, cream. And then we say whether it's cream or no cream. Yes, we do one, two, cream. And then we say either cream again. Right. Or no cream. Right, right, right.

And when we turn around, Kevin will rise. Yes. Rise like cream does. Yes. Yes? Yep. And we will see a lip that is either covered in cream

or these white flakes. But Kremon will have to respond to all of us at the same time. covered in cream or these like white flakes. But Kremen will have to respond to all of us at the same time, right? Because we're all answering at the same time. Yeah. So ideally we all answer the same and we all answer right. Yeah, but I think we all know

what we're going to say. Right, right, right, right, right. Okay. Okay. Ready? Yep. One, two, cream, right. Okay. Okay. Ready? Yep. One, two, cream, cream. Kevin Rice.

Yes! His lip is covered in cream. Show them. Do a slow lap all the way around the front. Thank you, everyone. That is the show. Thank you, Joe Firestone. Thank you, guys.

Thank you. Thank you, Kevin. Thank you, Kevin. Thank you, Bell House. We'll see some of you at the later show. Thank you, New York. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

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