Hollywood Handbook - Jon Hamm, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: March 10, 2020

The Boys help JON HAMM book his next big role. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. And I managed to get over the control board Yeah And I pull the plugs on all their mics Okay And then I step out and Doug's behind me And I go, hey everybody And these kids are pissed I go, in my day BTS stood for

Built to fucking spill And I launch right into Carry the Zero Which, full disclosure i can't really play what are you do you have an instrument i'm humming a lot of the i'm humming a lot of the guitar noises yeah just trying to give the general impression and i i have music so you said you unplugged their mics i unplugged their mics is there is the the music is still playing the music unfortunately is playing and i'm having a tough time getting my humming volume up especially because i'm you can't hum very loud i can't

and and i'm not super sure of how it goes but i think the message remained and I hope that a lot of those kids, obviously I didn't get to stick around. I went to jail, but I didn't get to see the aftermath, but I think a lot of these kids... Had you been able to say you might have heard them say like, oh, I'll check it out. Yeah, I'll check it out because they're a very good band. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide

to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet linebacker hallways of this industry we call showbiz. What up, what up. So I guess this is the first episode of Tri Month. Is that right? And this is Kevin's project. This is the second one?

This is the second one? Oh, okay. All right. I feel good. Okay. Good. And we have, maybe I'll do a thing where I'll be like we have like a normal guest and then I'll like yeah so I'll do a thing where but I'm

and then I am like pretending to discover you so I'll say and well today so it's different from a regular tri-month where we have an exciting guest and but now this time we just have just a normal guy and I look over here and

huh oh yeah it's me it's John Hamm guys John I mean I am just normal just a normal guy. And I look over here and huh? Oh yeah, it's me. It's Jon Hamm, guys. Jon Hamm. I mean, I am just normal. And he's normal. To us, he's normal. I think to everybody I'm normal. Yeah, and to us in particular. There's nothing extraordinary really. Come on, Jon.

Jon. What am I wearing? A t-shirt? I got a beat-up hat on. Now, wearing? A t-shirt? I got a beat up hat on. Now, I noticed your t-shirt says the not fucking around crew. Well, I like to wear that just to remind people that I was in the town in 2009. And you coined that phrase. It's been 11 years. Yeah.

Yeah, it was an ad lib. What? That was surprising. Yeah. People don't know that. In fact, the whole movie wasn't even meant to be set in Boston. That was all ad libbed. What? That was surprising. Yeah. People don't know that. In fact, the whole movie wasn't even meant to be set in Boston. That was all ad-libbed. What?

You improvised the location. We improvised the location, and then we kind of built it from there. A lot of people don't realize. That's improv. Yeah, it's all improv. So that's beautiful, what we can create with our minds when we try. And the weirdest thing was, we took it from a suggestion from the studio. Oh.

Like, give us a city. The studio. I don't know. Boston. And just rip. Okay. And we were like going, we were kind of going with that. And Ben starts rolling.

He's catching this. You know, he's the favorite son of Boston. So he's like in his element. That was lucky, I guess. Super lucky. In that respect. I mean, maybe they would have known. What did you have to start with?

Just a meeting with the studio, essentially. We had a town, which we were like, the town. It's got to be, yeah. The town. And then we had a place, and they were like Boston. Uh-huh. Similar to a town, yeah. And then we had four helicopters that we had to use somehow in the shooting.

Right, yes. And then they were like- Did you end up using those? We used two. But even so. I mean, it's plenty of of helicopters a little goes a long way as you find out when you're true whenever you're in a helicopter no no no four would have taken me out of it that's too much too much too much chopper yeah um and so you did that i did that

and you did that and then it uh and it kind of worked. You know what? It did. It's working. It was a film that had a beginning, a middle, and an end. It had some characters that people responded to. Truly. And a couple of chase scenes. This is where the choppers come in. Because you can see from the top.

Follow. Boston looks like a rabbit warren. You've got to know what you're doing and where you're going. And everyone, just likeeremy renner discovered this people hold their sweatpants banned with their hands when they're walking around just in case oh yeah you don't want to nobody wants an unfortunate get your ass pantsed yeah not in town baby yeah yeah in case they're a pants happy town that that's for sure. They'll grab and pull.

And the locals are aware. A lot of people say no funny business. They're all funny business. Yes. Well, you can talk about this because you actually come from a tradition. A funny business?

Well, in that part of the country. Yes. I'm from... You went to school. Yes, I went to school, obviously, in Boston in a little castle. Where me and my cronies... God, I hate to say it that way. I can never pronounce it right.

Yeah, but it's... My cronies and I would just make each other laugh and just see who could spend the most money on sausage or whatever. The highest jinx? Yes, exactly. You would compete on height of jinx? Yes, it was honestly a high jink contest. I hear that's going to be an Olympic sport in Tokyo. They're going to have the high jink.

Yeah. If you can get the highest jink, then you get a gold medal. Yeah, and it's actually not true. It's a joke we made up. But we are so excited to have you, and we do have a question to ask, and it's, what's next? What's next? After, I guess, Scott is kind of done with you, huh?

Scott is done with me? Scott Aukerman. with you, huh? Scott is done with me? Scott Aukerman. Scott Aukerman. Is he done with me? Is there something I haven't heard? The only reason that you would be sitting next to my candy ass. Oh, is it because I've been traded? I've been traded from...

A lot of people. So, Scott... From BB to HH? Scott chews them up and spits them out. He uses people. Mm-hmm. He does. Yeah, tell me about it.

And so now you're just a wadded up tissue on his side table. And they're flung into our welcoming arms. But by the way, comfortable arms. Thank you. That's really nice of you to say. You're welcome. And thank you for having me. Oh, and thank you.

So for the answer to the question, what's next? Guys, you tell me. I don't know. Thank you. That's what we wanted to do. Yeah, thank you. So for the answer to the question, what's next? Guys, you tell me. Well, thank you. That's what we wanted to do. Yeah, thank you. So our thought is, John can do it all. I can do it most. We've seen you do some, but we think you can do it all.

Okay. We've seen John act. He's been serious. He's been funny. He's been in the town. Both sides of the aisle. He's been serious. He's been funny. He's been in the town. Both sides of the aisle. He's been, maybe not.

Kissing. And he's kissed. I've kissed. More than once. Yeah. Okay. We don't need to. Yeah.

Is that a contest? Isn't it? Some of us have kissed once and some of us have kissed more and who's keeping count really? And there is such a thing as too much. Yeah.

So to be like, and if you do it right, you're trying to do it once, but it actually is desperate. That is fair. If you do it right one time, that's all you need. And then you're done for your entire career. I believe you can see

my kiss. That's all you need. It's on your list. Go for it. There it is. Yes, yes, yes. And they will suck my kiss. I've seen that. Yes.

But we'd like to see you produce, direct, edit. What's your Master of None? You want to see me behind the camera is really what you're saying. I want your Master of None. Oh. What's John's Master of None? I think it would be called Master of One. Some?

One? Just one. Just one? I mean, how much do you really need to be a master of? Hmm. Hey. So that is, I think, that is going to make people mad involved in the original show. It's very close to the original.

That's kind of the point, right? Show's not on anymore. The whole point is to piss their ass off. What's the sequel to Master original that's kind of the point right show's not on anymore the whole point what's the sequel to Master of None is to piss their ass off Master of One I'm not

so this is not why I got into this business to make people upset and to steal their content and yet you've successfully

done it so far I do seem to do that just kind of by accident but in this case I like I there's plenty to go around. There's plenty of titles. And also, I think if we were going to do a title that was close to the original one,

it would be called Hamster of None. That's fair. But in this case, we can branch out. A little bit of the thought we had was, yes, we're going to steal from them. But let's not make it so obvious yeah i think i think maybe you lean in the other way and you make it totally obvious and then when you're called on it you trump it you go like what what i didn't do anything i didn't do any prove it prove it i dare you double down and the onus on them master of two is season two master of three is season three.

And we can keep going. I'll just keep going. I don't need to say anything, but everybody knows I know what comes next. My character's into cooking. He's got a funny friend. It's not Eric. It's Tim. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. And he did our last tri-month. So he is someone who we could probably get involved with. Let's get him involved. Friend of the show. Friend of the show. I think we could. And I just want to say, on the Trump. Let's get him involved. Friend of the show. Friend of the show. And I just want to say on the Trump stuff, like you haven't heard like a ton of the show, but we don't weigh in on that either way.

By the way, who would? Yes. It's not like. Hey, a lot of people are like, not my president. Sorry. Everyone's president. Or look, it's like everyone's. Or is he?

Or is he? Or is he not? Who knows? He's not. And honestly, is he master of none? Is he master of none? Is he master of one? Is he master of two? I don't know. I don't know how the law works. Neither does he.

Nobody knows how the law works. Is the law even a thing? No one knows. Even if it is, it's not our place to talk about it. As citizens of the United States, it's not our place to talk about what it is. We are actually sovereign citizens. So that's the one thing that we do sort of weigh in on. That's so cool, by the way.

Only as it pertains to our own rights. How does that work, by the way, if and when you would get pulled over by, say, LAPD? Do you have your sovereign citizen card and you can say, like, guys, guess what? This is not happening. I'm between sovereign citizen cards right now, but I am working on one that's really cool. Are you going to get your sovereign real ID? Because you need that to travel.

Right, with the bear on it. Yes, I'm going to do that, but there's just, I got to find room for it in the design because I'm designing something cool. Is it a different bear for a sovereign citizen? It's not the California brown bear. It's like a, it's like Yogi bear. It's like polar bear.

For a sovereign, the bear is standing up and he is smoking a pipe and wearing a sherlock holmes hat bless that's that's a perfect bear yes but it throws off my design a little bit well it's just i think your idea is gonna be a little bigger just if you want to see that detail yeah exactly right now he's cut off kind of all the details are cut off yeah the corner it's a work in progress i don't listen don't finalize don't formalize until you know what you want. Well, thank you, John. Yeah, absolutely. It's your

country. Yeah. Thank you for saying that. By definition, it is your country. Take it back. Yeah, I think I will. And actually, to all the stuffed shirts who've been trying to make me finalize my real ID,

here's a message from me and Jon Hamm to you. Fuck off. Yeah. Yeah, guys. Like forever. You stuffed shirts. Goddamn empty suits. Empty suits and yet stuffed shirts.

Well, yeah. What do you think they're stuffed with? I guess I got to pick one. Ooh. You know what I think? I think those shirts are stuffed with rice pick one. Ooh. You know what I think? A suit like a... I think those shirts are stuffed with rice pilaf. Yeah.

Well, happy I didn't answer. It takes up a lot of space, and it tastes like nothing. It's nothing. It's filler. And it makes you think like, ooh, I'm getting more food. Todd, this is great. Look how much I got. It cost 27 cents.

Oh, my pork chop's resting on something. Stuffed shirt. Yeah. It's a good point. But it is cents. Oh, my pork chop's resting on something. This is nothing but a stuffed shirt. It's a good point. Compared to rice, it is more flavorful than regular rice. Is it, though? You know what? You're right. Somebody give me a working definition of the word

pilaf. It has the big brown ones in it. No, no, no. I know what it looks like. I know what rice is. Yeah. But what is pilaf? Pilaf actually means... She was a French singer in the early 20th century. Edith Pilaf.

But pilaf in its purest form, it does mean medium lump. Oh. Yeah. So it has the little ones and it has the medium lump. Is it short for something? Is it short for like pilaforte or pilafonagio? Pilaformagio. Pilaf dem jeans is actually the full.

Pilaf dem jeans. Yes. Pilaf dem jeans. Yeah. Well, that makes sense now. I'm kind of coming around on rice pilaf, I guess. Yeah. It is actually sort of a beautiful.

Perfect for date night. It is sort of a beautiful thing. It sends a message. John, did you ever, did you direct ever? I did. I directed two episodes of Mad Men. Okay. In the sixth.

How'd you swing that? In the fifth and sixth seasons. I knew a guy. Okay. Made a couple calls. Did you, you didn't go over and do a, do a The Office? I never did an office. Okay.

I never did. It's called The Office. I never did a The Office. I never did an office. Okay. I never did a... It's called The Office. I never did a The Office. I wasn't asked. That show was off the air by the time Mad Men came off the air, too. So I never got the opportunes.

Okay. But Bryan Cranston did go over and do one. Of course he did. What doesn't he do? Sells Fords. Yes, is that a thing? Cranston's a

voice of Ford. Yeah. It's an American voice for an American brand. You talk about cars as well. I do. A very German brand, Mercedes-Benz. I mean, make of that what you will. I mean, it's something of a second World War II. It kind of is it really is

who won that by the way i forget uh you know like you're still out with this new one take this new one play itself out and again with all that stuff it's not for us to i get it to weigh in i've been watching a lot of documentaries recently why did it happen how did it happen when did it end i don't know nobody knows no did it end? I don't know. Nobody knows. No, and it's foolish. You don't want to have egg on your face jumping in and going like,

oh, you won World War II. And then it's like, well, then tomorrow one of these guys does what they've been trying to do. Yeah, someone jumps out and is like, ha ha!

And then it wasn't, it actually wasn't over yet. And as soon as you said, thought that you won. Exactly when you are calm. Gotcha! Exactly. And look, nobody wants to be that guy. And as soon as you said, thought that you won. Exactly when you are calm. Gotcha. Exactly. And look,

and nobody wants to be that guy. And I'm still, least of all me. Nobody wants to be that guy. Least of all me. Yeah. You're the last one. Fighting World War II?

Yeah. Well, I'm in it to win it. Did you say a minute to win it? I'm in it to win it. Oh, okay. Did you ever watch a minute to win it, John, with it to win it. Oh, okay. Did you ever watch

a minute to win it, John, with Guy Fieri? No. Oh, gosh. Minute long cooking show. I did not. What do you win? Food?

Rice pilaf. You know how they did? The Top Chef won season of a bunch of different contestants that like stay on for each episode. Chopped different contestants every episode. on for each episode chopped different contestants

every episode okay minute to win it 30 episodes in one half hour block with different contestants for each one and what you win is actually not as important as the amount of time you have in which to win it just one minute win it in a minute and then you would go now i'm I'm familiar with you're going to love it in an instant, the Carnation instant breakfast tagline. Okay. And we're all learning. We're all learning. Yeah.

Not only is it an instant breakfast, but you will love it in one instant. That's how fast you will come around. The good people at Carnation, I'm pretty sure they don't lie, they make condensed milk and they make instant breakfast. That's weird. I thought that it was about how long it took to make, but it's how long it will take you to love. It's a laborious process.

It takes an instant to make it. It's an instant breakfast. Oh, it's instant to make it as well. Happens like that. Okay. As soon as your spoon touches it, you're in love. Oh, you don't even taste it. You don't even taste it.

The aroma, the fact that it only took an instant to make. And often by the time you taste it, the affair is over. And that's how fickle love can be. And you got a minute to win it back. But we... This is Brett. Oh yeah, sorry. Hello. Hi Brett. Have you been sitting there this whole time? I have. Sorry.

Just laying in the cut. Brett's from St. Louis too. That's not true. That's not true. I know everybody from St. Louis, too. That's not true. That's not true. I know everybody from St. Louis, and you're not one. I don't look familiar to you? No. At all. Double down.

I'm pretty different looking. Call the fire. Say he's not from there. Be like if you were from St. Louis. Shuff him around a little. Dude, I didn't see you around. Yeah, you did. Back off.

He's got your ass. He's got your fucking ass. You didn't see me around because you're not from there. He's got your big back out, back paddock. Brad, I apologize. Oh, I thought you meant. The raviolis. Would you like some raviolis?

No, don't offer him. What kind of raviolis? See, Brad, there's only one answer to that. There's only one answer to that there's only there's only one answer to that and that is toasted raviolis toasted

yes see toaster ovened or like a you put them in a toaster what they're basically are is fried like pop tarts

in a toaster yeah Brett you're gonna love it in an instant we have to do this show what did you guys give me to yeah let's do the show

and we'll start and start recording sorry sorry did you want to get your somebody hit a button what was your thing did you guys get me into? Yeah, let's do the show, and we'll start, and start recording now as well. Sorry, sorry. Did you want to get your... Yeah, somebody hit a button. What was your thing? Did you get your catchphrase clean? Mm-hmm.

What did you guys get me into? Okay, great. Yeah. Okay. Now it's an episode, and you can start recording now. On three. So part of... You want to do it together?

Yeah. And this is the directing. This is... Uno, dos. That's... uno, dos, tres, cuatro. One, two, three. Record. And record it. Okay, here we are.

So, uh, ow. Sorry. So. So they can sink it. That's a slate. Nice. I mean, you know, our initial sort of idea, and obviously our motto on this show is. God, this is a good smelling mic.

I'm gonna... And that's Harry Richard. That is a rare, rare commodity. That is... I will make the mic stinky for everyone before the show. And it's so sad. I love when people come here and give it a big sniff and I am very scared

that with coronavirus they'll be less likely to sniff a community mic. That lifestyle that we've enjoyed so freely. That's going away? I think it could go away, and I think the market is responding to that. See, again, I think people lean in. It's worth it. This is the diffuser on a microphone.

Yeah, it picks up a little corona here and there. But the diffuser itself, literally by definition, diffuses the virus. So you get just a taste of it, a hint. That's where your body builds it up. Then you're immune. So many definitions. You're immune. And a place like this, the coronavirus is honestly laughing too hard.

Exactly. If it's right here on the mic, it's getting the first exposure to the mic and it's laughing too hard to do anything. So anyway, the motto on the show, of course, is

I like my idea, but I love your idea, John. And so we were going to sort of steal the naming convention from Master of None of just taking a famous phrase, then taking the second John. And so we were going to sort of steal the naming convention from Master of None of just taking a famous phrase, then taking the second half. And then truly it has to do almost nothing with the show itself. Or it

could. But we just thought that would be kind of a good way to start. Should have pasta. Sorry? Pasta. What about pasta? You were saying it could have nothing to do with the show, or it could. And I think the one thing that it should have from Master of None is pasta. They make pasta in the second season.

So I guess I would start with, I would say, okay, two in the bush. I see a billboard. It's you. It says two in the bush, and they've chopped the first half off the saying well it's me and george w bush thank you hanging out uh-huh i mean talk about an odd couple yeah well i'm immediately intrigued and i'm setting my dvr function we're both back to back each of us pointing with our thumbs at the other guy yeah and that's the eric that's loud that's the where this guy yeah and he's feeling the same way about you.

It's not lost on me, of course. But there's got to be a Noel Wells in there. Now, who's that going to be? Probably Laura Bush. See, I was thinking... Because we need two. I was thinking the Bush twins. Oh, and that's two.

That's two. Even more so two in the Bush. And twins. And twins. It's true. It's not lost on me that Bush also is pubis hair. Yeah, I've heard that. So then I'm going, okay, it's pubis hair.

Okay. Two, Tupac, the Tupac hologram from Coachella. Is he somehow trapped in yours or George W. Bush's Bush? The hologram or Tupac himself? Because no one's seen him and it's a... And there's rumors. The hologram is more kind of zeitgeisty. When I think about what people are talking about,

do you remember how Mork and Mindy ended with Mork talking to Orson in the black space? Who are you asking? Of course I know how Mork and Mindy ended. I feel like this show ends. this show and get me out of here every every episode ends with either myself or george w bush talking to the hologram of tupac who appears in our our uh pubic hair pubic hair i'm sorry well pubicular hair yes and he'll he'll he'll show up uh- up and you'll be like,

hey, Tupac, we had some crazy adventures this episode. Right. And he would spit some rhymes and tie it all together. Yes, and you're learning. And you would learn

and you would go, at the end you just go, thanks, Tupac. And he's like, peace out. And he would just disappear right into the pubis. Yes. And Dave is already eating our lunch from the show, Dave.

And you see he's coming out of the boxer part. And he is a rapper. Is he a rapper? And he's doing this exact thing. Dave's a rapper. Dave's a rapper. Do we know who Dave is? I'm not to.

But you've seen this guy. I've seen Dave coming out of the fly. He's going to grow on you. He's going to grow on you. He's going to grow on you. Flying out of the fly. Yeah. It's an FX show. I always give them a shot.

Oh, yeah. Every single one. They've got a track record. Every one. I have to say, I was an early adopter of Terriers. Did you ever watch that show? Everyone is like, Terriers. Could have used a second season.

I think they pulled the plug too early. Yeah, that one is brilliant, but canceled. I like a Legion. I'm an FX stan. And that's what we're finding out. Maybe we take this. Just us gotta take it to them. Two in the bush, we take the FX.

It has that edge for sure. You could see the poster. Again, back to back. It'd be great. Two-plot kind of shimmery in the deep BG. Oof. That feels like, okay, this shit is a hit. Oh, and he's doing different stuff as you're driving.

Right, like as you drive by, it shimmers into a different thing. Yeah, through. Oh, that's so good. Yeah. Instead of Thug Life like it's a different like it's a different uh as you go by it's a different slogan it's a different tattoo right right right yeah yeah it would be a different one it would definitely be different for sure yeah no and i'll and we'll just come up with it on the spot what do you say instead

i would say like thug wife. No. He's like pointing at Barbara Bush. Sorry, Laura Bush. Then when he's pointing to the twins, it's... Never apologize for saying Barbara Bush. Not on this show. Nothing to apologize to me here. America's last favorite first lady, I think.

Yeah, number one for me. Number one of the year. No, I can't say that. Not that I weigh in on this stuff, but this is I think. Yeah, number one for me. Number one for me, yeah. Boy. No, I can't say that. Not that I weigh in on this stuff, but this is one thing. That person should not have done that. That's the one thing I will say on the show. We don't talk politics. We do.

That was wrong. We do come down. Sir who shot Barbara Bush, if you're listening, or a madam, you shouldn't have done that. Don't do it again. I said stop doing it. Quit it. Stop shooting at First Ladies. Let her rest in peace.

Jeez. By the way, easy target. Yeah, no kidding. Oh, you proud of yourself. Real proud of yourself. You're shooting at Barbara Bush. Oh, I'm so impressed. Take a gun and point it down.

Oh, God, so awesome. Big tough man shooting, or woman, shooting Barbara Bush in the grave. Give me a break. That is one in the wrong bush. That's low. Yeah, that's one in the wrong bush, which I'm realizing we are open to someone doing that to us. The same way we're going to master of one them.

That they could one in the wrong bush us. They could one in the wrong bush. And now all of a sudden our titles, like a boomerang whipped around. We can keep changing the show. Well, yes. Or just keep changing the title. Same show. Well, there's other titles.

Sure. We had other shows. What's another one? This is Kevin. Yeah. What's a really good one, Kevin? Kevin, I know you're not from St. Louis. Hey, guys. Hold on. Hey, guys. Chef Kevin here. one, Kevin. Kevin, I know you're not from St. Louis. Hey guys, hold on.

Hey guys, Chef Kevin here. Hey guys, St. Louis' own ravioli chef Kevin here. Holy shit. He made them. Kevin, where'd you go to high school? The John something one? The St. Arch High. No, he didn't. Not a school.

St. Louis? Nope. We already started wrong. Cardinal Stadium. Yep, that's not a school yeah St. Louis nope we already started wrong Cardinal Stadium yep that's not a thing what about grain of salt for a name

that's not really the second half of a phrase that's a grain of salt to me that does suggest though

the first one you would you would oh I found my name you would it does suggest that you would though that you would you would oh I found my name you would it does suggest that you would take that show you would watch that show

hey watch this show well why am I gonna do that take it with a grain of salt yeah I don't know if that is an answer to why I would watch it well I mean it just goes down easy well I think it would protect

that's what that means protect us from criticism a little bit this show is disgusting ah one grain of salt ah delicious you know what spoonful of sugar that's the companion piece to green assault so that so that's an example though of a show called makes the medicine go down or something. Mm-hmm. Is that allowed? What do you mean? Oh, because it's like a song? And it's from like a, you know, a large corporation. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess you could. I once went in to do Punch-Up on, they were working on a movie called Larry Poppins. And I was like, do you have Mary Poppins? And they were like, we'll get it. We'll get it. We'll get it. How hard can it be? Oh, don't.

We know who to call. I'm not worried about that. We know who to call. Hollywood Handbook. Be a better you in 2024 with Babbel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works. Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language and the question that i always

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What does it mean when you drop someone off after a nice date and they turn around at the door and they take their little index finger and they kind of draw it towards them? They're pulling it what does that mean does their finger hurt i wonder if they spotted a spider web or something they're trying to pull down the spider down yeah but i've seen this too after a lot of dates and i need i need

and have needed something like babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks like a it looks like an emergency i know i was supposed to do something or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like almost like police clothes on it may be almost yeah and they're standing in the middle and as i'm driving and i'm cruising they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost and they're really aggressively like pushing it out i'm like am i supposed to drive get out of the car yes or just do it out the window as i'm going that's what i've been doing. That seems dangerous. Yeah. But some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners, I'm sure. Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real life situations, which I have all the time, and delivered with conversation-based teaching so you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world.

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it's a little bit of all of them okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long. How many add-ons and what are some of them? It's one big add-on and it's you on your bed. You're so tired after you eat my meal. The promise is the meal makes us sleepy. You've been pushing that so much. You're saying that you will be added on to your bed.

Yeah, your bed plus one. That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do. It's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long. I know. Give you a ton of energy. They have like smoothies and things like that. This is wrong. Reservation for two. Me walking in my bedroom. What's the second? It's you

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And you never realize what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged. I know that I was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from the movie, 27 dresses, before I found out how much it was costing that they intended to send me. much it was costing yes that they intended to send me by the way you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know i think oh that one's got an end point by like dress 14 15 i think it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear yeah and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them was it was it was a vinaigrette it was a raspberry vinaigrette it was a french raspberry vinaigrette dressing oh they'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple months of wasted money

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and so that was uh yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys that's rocketmoney.com slash the boys rocketmoney.com slash the boys hollywood handbook so what's another one kevin you had so many you called me to say you had so many ideas. Yeah, I kept bragging about it. A penny earned. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Now that's a better example. Thanks. So I guess you're like... Lead character's Penny Marshall. Okay. Uh-huh. And her job sucks shit.

Takes place in the afterlife. Uh-huh. And Scrooge is her boss. So you're playing, but you-huh. And Scrooge is your boss. So you're playing, but you're the star. Scrooge is your boss. Play by Gary Marshall. Okay. And this now is getting meta, but I love it.

I mean, the working title is We Are Marshall. Okay. And a penny earned is out the window. No, no, no. No, it's in parentheses. Right. Yes. We Are Marshall, a penny earned.

I like the fantabulous emancipation of one Harley Quinn. One Harley Quinn. That now... You're starring, so you can play Penny Marshall? I play the voiceover. I play the voice of God talking to

the marshals. And he's scared to play Danny Marshall. Why? They hired me. I can't. What's at the core of this fear? I don't think it's as scared so much as I think I'm not allowed to play a lady because there's ladies that are.

Melissa Villasenor will do it. Perfect. Yep. Perfect. And that's. The chameleon. She can do anything. Mm-hmm.

So it's Melissa. It's you you're god right well i mean that's what you said i'm i'm the you know i'm saying what you said yeah i'm named didi fill in the blank okay i'm didi myers i play didi myers president clinton's former chief of staff uh uh what the hell press secretary uh-huh and uh yeah and also god now that's you've been getting everyone has a political god it's like george bush it's like the freaking penny marshall gary marshall whatever and it's like tupac so political yeah and it's making me think like this guy's got's got a lot to say. Maybe we redo Veep. Okay, Ed, we're in business. But hold on.

It's called Beep. Hold on. Everybody in it is cars. I'm getting mixed messages because when a car says beep, I don't hold on. I go, uh-oh. Well, that means you hold on. That means you grab the thing at the on the top of the window that little holding part the handle sure beep i i so if you're going to do v beep the show is called beep i do need to see a particular acting technique from you and so i'm

just going to give you i'm not going to give you a read on it but basically we will have an exchange the exchange will end with like um you'll go uh uh like you're kind of looking like like okay but looking forward to seeing you again, and then as you turn away, you go like, fall in the garbage. They call you like a nasty. Oh, yes. Like an insult on the way out. Yes, like you're being nice.

In the world of beep, we call those exhaust notes. Oh, yes. So it is. It is a little muffler discharge as you're pulling away. Do you want to get those clicks out, Brett? Just all the clicking. Yeah, just if you have any more clicks to do. I just don't want to interrupt the scene.

I've been hearing some very loud mouse clicks. It sounds like he's been doing a lot of double clicking. That's how you know I'm working. Do you want to get those done? Let's just get a few. You want to pre-click? Yeah. A couple dozen clicks.

Yeah, let's just get a few. Let's save them. Hold for the clicks. Let's just get a few. Open a file. I can't click what you guys are talking about. Put them in the click file, and then when you need them, just open the file. How do you open a file?

Double click. So you're done. All right, so go back. So what am I? We're in a scene. So we'll do a little scene. From beep. We're talking, and it's very cordial.

Sure. And you're going like, oh, yeah. Just a couple of cars talking. Yeah, just a couple of cars. Car talk. Exactly. Click and clack. Should not have shot.

And then Did the clack get shot? That was really sad to me. That was really sad when clack got shot. And I would say to you, sir or madam who did it, you should be ashamed.

For sure. Stop it. You can't take clack without click. Yes, take them both. If you're going to shoot one, shoot them both. So they can be together in paradise. In car paradise. As we are. We're in car paradise, beep.

Los Angeles, California, car paradise. It's true. The greatest place to drive. You have to shoot beep in LA. On location. I want to shoot LA for LA. Yes have to shoot Beep in LA. On location. I want to shoot LA for LA. Yes. LA for LA.

Los Angeles plays itself. It really is like a character in the film. Yes. No, the city of LA is a big character in Beep, the film that we're making a show. So we're a couple of cars. We're talking. Maybe we're talking about something.

I don't know. Maybe a parking place, a valet guy that did us wrong. Yes. Yes. Okay. Perfect. Is that the same thing or two different things? something what i don't know maybe a parking place a valet guy that did us wrong yes yes okay perfect is that he's a little too rough different things i don't know it could be a there could be a starting point i can i can okay i can pick that up all right i've got the chops yeah at the parking place uh valet did me it started? Huh? That was the beginning?

That's line one. Okay. That's line one. And I would say, uh-oh. That's my response. Uh-oh. And I go, yeah, no, yeah, I was pretty disappointed. You're like, L.A., huh?

Yeah, L.A., son of a bitch, man. Well, I'm going to go. And that is man. Fucking. Well, I'm going to go. And that is beep. Okay. And that's the essential beep. Did the thing happen that you were describing? Coming this fall. Yeah, but it's annoying.

Tuesday's on FX. That's on FX, too. We might have to make it. FXX. Okay. Might have to be a little nastier. Well, and that's the thing. Plenty of room to go nasty.

Yeah, I agree. I mean, the whole thing sets itself up to be censored you walk around and beep and someone's like hey listen you that was a little late that was a really great opportunity listen here you Brett

I literally gave you the sign that's so late that's even later why does it take so long that was good that was at the same time as he was saying the first part the fourth time is a charm I think

listen here you we got some kicks to work out no it's true and you never get it right on the first day that's why we have rehearsals that's why we have rehearsal that's why we have season two honestly like figure out what we did wrong in season one no it's right yeah you just watch season one season one i'm just making for me to watch and sort of figure out what i want to do out send it out put it out there put it on youtube put it on vimeo get beep out there what's another one kevin uh yeah it majorly did keeps the doctor away okay and that's what they say about an apple but i think see the great thing about that as a show that will develop is that you know they always say that's like, the shows there are about three things. Cops, lawyers, doctors.

That's it. This one is about not doctors. We know it's not doctors. Get rid of doctors. Go away from doctors. Keep them away. More harm than good. We're going to have to have cops and lawyers

in here, right? Somehow keeping the doctors away. From the people who are hurt to have cops and lawyers in here, right? Yes. Somehow keeping the doctors away. From the people who are hurt. Or, and hear me out, just a bunch of firemen training their hoses on doctors. Keep them away. Wow. Keep them away. Because then you've got Chicago Fire keeping away Chicago Med.

We should put Chicago Fire in the show. The MLS team? So that's interesting. Is that what you were referring to as you first mentioned it okay and then i was too and i'll third it yes and and and they're playing keep away they're kicking the ball around yeah sure imagine how the doctor they're keeping it away from the doctors yeah keep the doctors. Doctors notoriously terrible with their feet, great with their hands, terrible with their feet.

Yeah. Not good soccer players, most doctors. And by soccer, I mean, of course, football. Yes. The loving sport. I know you have a big European following on the podcast. Absolutely. Yeah.

If any. Slavic, mostly. When your European fans come to Hollywood, they use this as the official handbook? Like, they follow what they've heard? They learn from this? Some of the way these guys are acting, they must be taking their cue from us. We also give one piece of a map in every episode. Like one page from the Thomas Guide?

Yeah, pretty much. We describe just one part of the city. And there you go. In every episode. That's your new town, European fan. Yeah. You take all your people from your country. You live on this page.

Yeah. Do we want to do the one part of the map? The map section? Yeah. Right now? I don't know why we wouldn't. What are the borders? We're looking at, if I'm looking at it correctly, and I'm looking at it upside down, but I think

it looks like Saticoy Avenue is one border yes that to me is where my LA ends so that's that's kind of what is that

that's sort of no North Hollywood-ish yeah the no-ho arts district leads you to if you go one way you get to Burbank you go the other way you get into a

Studio City maybe yeah that's prime real estate the no-ho arts district yes you landed into a studio city, maybe. Yeah. That's prime real estate. The NoHo Arts District. Yes. You landed on a great episode where Sadekoy almost gets to the NoHo Arts District. It kind of peters out right before NoHo Arts District. Yeah, it's not in the Arts District itself, but you can probably see the art with a nice

set of binoculars. It's NoHo Arts District adjacent. Yes. Yes. It's East. Now, when I first moved to LA, there was no NoHo Arts District. There was NoHo, but there was no NoHo Arts District. Wow.

And you made it happen. Well, I was a part of it. I was a part of the NoHo renaissance. You were there for that scene. Talk about being the energy in the city when that scene was emerging. You guys wouldn't believe it. There was, God, there was independent theater. There was acting classes.

There were headshot pavilions. They would have a pavilion, just headshots. You could get your headshot taken. There was street parking. There were pay phones. It was kind of the glory days of noho and now you know disney moved in they made it the noho they kind of got rid of all the pavilions james giuliani who was the former mayor of noho the peanut m&m store yeah they got rid of a lot

of that stuff uh which is a real shame. It took away a lot of the character. And I guess it made it safer, but did it make it better? Disagree. Yeah, it's a tough conversation because the art coming out of there at the time was so in your face, man. It was very horny. It was really horny, yeah. Yeah. Just thinking about it, it felt different.

It felt, I'm not going to say better, but better. Hey, you can't go back. You can never go home again. That's what they say. And I feel like it's easy to mourn, obviously, the NoHo Arts District in its heyday. But at the same time, something like that is emerging all the time. I don't know if you've been. Moves forward.

It's a flat circle, but it moves forward. Yeah. Talk about this. Speak on that. Well, you saw True Detective, which by the way, we should come up with a new True Detective. New Detective. Okay. Where time doesn't move in a flat circle.

Fake Detective. Fake Truth Detective. Truth or False Detective. You pick. It's a branching narrative Fake detective. Fake truth. Truth detective. True or false detective. You pick. It's a branching narrative. You get to pick. It's a freaking, what was the thing called? It's a pander snatch.

It's a pander snatch. True, false detective. Time is a flat circle. True, false. You go left, you go right. Who knows? Maybe you run into Matthew McConaughey. Maybe you run into matthew mcconaughey maybe you run into alexandra daddario

maybe you run into maybe you run into uh benicio del toro maybe you walk into the noho arts district in 1994 and it blows your mind this is the true false detective yeah incense peppermints holy shit man i mean is your mind blown yes we've come up with four solid television shows we've come up with a slate yeah this is a rock block oh yeah we've got our entire thursday night it's two for thursday this is animation domination well listen guys it is uh it is true you gotta go are you leaving no. I'm not. I'm coming up on my second week. No, no, no.

Yeah, yeah. No. Yeah, me too. Oh, yeah, me too. And I've got ideas. And I'm watching Beep. Beep. I feel like I'm watching Beep.

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bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance cdkng.com slash b ball for eligibility and deposit restrictions terms and responsible gaming resources life can be ridiculous but you know what's not funny getting ripped off and harry's agrees so what we want to talk about today with sorry you said harry's or harry i said harry's We always talk about Harry's first, and then we talk about you, Clean Harry, who are sort of our new mascot, I don't know, for this campaign. Talk about Harry's first.

What we want to talk about is something funny that happened to you recently. Great. A ridiculous or fun situation that you were in okay recently that's the prompt and that'll take us into discussing the product particularly the product funny to me or funny to just anyone i i mean do you you feel like there's a difference there like you yeah i mean i've had things happen to me that i suppose you would find funny okay but that you didn't find funny and and you have not really and you have things that have happened that you would find funny but the rest of the world would not yeah i guess i'm interested

in that one that i would find funny yes but that others would not find funny. You seem to think that you have like a specific taste when it comes to what's funny or ridiculous that is not. I ordered like a scented spray for my pillow to help me sleep at night. Like a lavender scent. Okay. And they accidentally sent me two okay so you understand that most people would not buy that funny or ridiculous but but you but you do i just had a little chuckle about the mix up at the at the shipping uh warehouse harry saw customers getting screwed over by questionable that's a come up overpriced shaving product harry on the come up i decided to do

something better instead of charging the same stupid high prices harry's found their own way to double scent bottle beautifully designed razors for a fraction of the price of other big brands except bogo baby exceptional products honest prices i don't is there a bogo the price of other big brands. Bogo, baby. Exceptional products, honest prices. Is there a Bogo as part of this? Because I don't want to be talking about deals that aren't. No, but I clean Harry Punk. Actually got two bottles. Buy one, get one.

Their deodorant, their lotion, their body wash, their hair gel, all very high-quality products. They all smell great great german engineer blades made in their own factory they stay sharp longer you get a five blade razor weighted handle foaming shave gel and a travel cover for just three bucks at harry's.com slash the boys highest customer satisfaction in the shaving industry no risk trial don't like your shave no worries it's on them getting ripped off isn't funny do you want to hear what happened to me that you might find yes yes sure but that you didn't yeah so you're attuned to to this stuff i got my foot stuck in the dryer at the laundromat and it somehow turned on

and you know that that was something other people would find funny based on well the responses you were you were getting a lot of people inside that laundromat seemed to find it pretty humorous when my leg started spinning around and flipping me over what happened was i was holding my laundry basket with both hands and i saw oh still a sock left in the dryer so i stuck my foot and tried to pick it up with my little toesies i wear sandals punk and as i'm picking it up i just sort of tripped and my foot got wedged in between there's like slats in there and stuck inside there and then i don't know who somebody pushed the button or what but it turned on and the thing starts flipping over and i'm

flying in circles help punk help me you punks are your clothes staying in the basket are you going fast no no no i'm wearing all of them by the end of the cycle. Get started with a $13 trial set for just $3 at harrys.com slash the boys. That's harrys.com slash the boys for a $3 trial set. Hollywood Handbook. Kevin, what time is it in the show? 40-ish. Maybe we should do one more. Yes.

The horse's mouth. Just in case one of our pilots doesn't go. Well, I think if you want, you get five. There's five on a hand. So you want five solid ideas to walk in any room, any network to pitch, you want five. When the studio head, when you walk in, he holds up that hand.

And you better be able to peel down every single digit. Jordan Peele, he's got five on it. Jordan Peele off. Jordan Peele off. Maybe that's it. Maybe's got five on it. Jordan Peel off. Jordan Peel off. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's our new one. I know Kevin said horse's mouth, but Jordan Peel off.

It's a cooking show that Jordan Peel participates in. Different recipes with rice peel off with Jordan Peel off. And each one of them has a horrible twist where somebody dies. I was going to say, if I know Jordan, it's not just a cooking show, right?

He unleashed the Candyman into my feed. Oh, yeah? Yeah, he did that today. The Candyman's been released. The Sammy Davis version? I didn't know that there was one of those. You've never heard the song Candyman? By Sammy Davis Jr.? No, I have. I was kidding.

Jesus, Hayes has never heard it. I just said I had. Hayes, your ignorance is showing. I just said that I had heard it and literally just said that one second ago. Yeah, he has no idea what it is. And I said I was joking and I actually thought that was

what we were supposed to be doing on this show. But who can make the sunrise and sprinkle it with dew. Probably the God character. The Candyman, exactly. Candyman can. It's from

Candyman Ken because he mixes it with love and makes the world taste new. That's neither here nor there. The horse's mouth. The horse's mouth. The second half of what phrase? Don't look a gift horse there the horse's mouth yeah the horse's mouth now what is that the the second half of what phrase don't look a gift

horse in the horse's mouth don't look a gift horse in the horse's mouth don't look a gift horse in the horse's mouth pretty sure that's not how it goes but let's say it does go that way St. Louis

regional patois that's like an upstate New York Utica which I'm pretty sure you're from St. Louis St. Louis St. Louis

nope nope again Sklar Brothers not nope listen you've

there's two of those and they never are seen without each other he's one of he there is Kevin is actually a Sklar Brother Kevin from now on

we will need you to be a Sklar Brother on this show okay so I think this one is a spin-off of it's obvious Bo BoJack Horseman. And it's BoJack Horsemas.

BoJack Horsemas. BoJack Horsemas. It's time. And it's just, it's an art film. Yes. It's just a closeup of BoJack Horseman eating rice pilaf in slow motion with crossfades, like nuclear explosions silent

silent they'll love that 30 minutes of silence the fans of that show be like oh just when I thought they would not using this facetiously

they would eat it up they would not just chewing it's an ASMR kind of thing they're chewing BoJack's chewing. Minus the sound, of course.

Minus the sound, but maybe you bring your own sound to it. Just like a huge piece of it, yeah. You just bring your own sound to it. And that's what happens. You hum along. You create your own ASMR.

Again, it's a choose your own adventure, kind of choose your own sound. No one's done this, you guys. Well, it's Bendersatch. Yeah. No. Did you ever do a voice on that?

Bojack? Mm-hmm. No. What happened there? Doesn't Will Ar learn to do all the voices on that he does what was that that's a hog what kind of car is that it was supposed to be a horse eating a carrot well it is not well, I don't need to hear it again. Unless the horse was being fed back. Yes, feedback. Yeah. Yeah, horse's mouth.

Give me that again. I'll lose my shit. That's funny. I just missed it. No. No, come on. We'll fix it. Give me that again.

I'll lose my shit. No, you get one shot at it. You better lose yourself in the music. You only get one shot. Oh, right. Yes. From the Oscars. I love that Academy Awards song.

It is. You know what it is? It's the theme song of the Oscars now. Yes. Which I thought was a bold choice. Because you kind of do get other chances. Yeah. A lot of these people

are multiple nominees. Sometimes even within the same show. Yeah. Like Bong Joon-ho got four chances. He was four for four. Yeah.

And so every time you only get four shots hope you win all four of them. Bong Joon-ho Bong Joon-ho rhymes with a lot of things. Sure.

Yeah. Yeah. We don't have to go on everything that rhymes with the beer all damn night. No. Guys at home, yeah, you can figure it out. Go. Yo.

That's just a fuel. And I could have come up with. That's just the very beginning. That's the tip of the iceberg, by the way. I think that is all of them. Tip of the iceberg will be coming on Wednesday nights on FX. The second half of the phrase, that's just the tip of tip of the that's just is the beginning of the phrase and then the tip of the iceberg is the second half of it and that's just will be its lead-in that's just we'll start

the hour uh 7 30 7 to 7 30 that's a judge it's just that's just yeah that is perfectly fine it's just a bunch of things that are perfectly fine. And then the host of the show, which is Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs, he will say, well, that's just. Thank you for saying Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs because all the things that he's

done. That rhymes. Mike Rowe. Mike Rowe, Bong Joon-ho. That's another one. Okay. I've been confused for Mike R micro on more than four occasions wow and i and i had that experience once where where somebody came up to me it was like you're the guy from dirty jobs yeah no i'm not well you were crawling out of the and they said yes you are right okay They thought you were trying to play their ass. I was, yeah. I was crawling out of a toilet.

Like the ghoulies. Oh, boy. Well, here we are again. Here's another episode of Dirty Jobs. Just record scratch. I guess you wonder how I got here. I'm Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs. Crawling out of a toilet at the Rose Bowl.

Bye. Well, let's take it back. Goodbye. Hollywood Handbook. That was a HeadGum Podcast.