Hollywood Handbook - Julie Klausner, Our Returning Close Friend

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

The Boys talk to JULIE KLAUSNER about a few interesting topics. Make sure to check out the return of her podcast How Was Your Week?, which is also on Patreon!Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. So Kevin's like, can you guys do morning? Evening is not as good for Julie anymore. If you can, if you can swing morning, we're like, that's great. Respond to right away. And so, and like we're, we're setting the exact time. 9.30 is great. Yeah, swab it. Responded right away. No problem. And like we're setting the exact time. 9.30 is great. 9.30, easy, no issues.

And then Jeffrey Goldberg is like, you guys should have IO back on too. That, not that it's a bad idea, it threw me for a loop. No, I mean like- It threw me for a loop. It's, by the way, like it's fine just to have, it's not like we need to have Ayo.

Would we obviously take her if she were also here? If she wanted to do it, I wouldn't be like, no, you can't do it. Julie would love to, yes. The more we can solidify that association, I think. We've had this group chat with Kevin where we've scheduled everything for the podcast for years and years and years. It turns out Jeffrey Goldberg has been in it

the whole time. Been in it the whole time and showed incredible restraint. There are lots of times I kind of wish he had intervened. If he had chimed in on some of the other conversations, we may not be, not that I'm not looking forward to the episode, Julie, we may not be in this position right now.

I get the sense that Jeffrey Goldberg is one of those people in the chat that doesn't say anything for weeks and then sends that Steve Boo Semi on 30 Rock gif. Yes. Yes. Yes. How do you do, fellow kids?

It doesn't need to be a GIF, by the way. Just a still image is fine for that particular thing. It doesn't need to have any movement to it because it's like, it's the outfit, it's the two skateboards. Yeah, we get the gist and we get the GIF, which I think is how it's pronounced. Jeffrey Goldberg, like.

Greetings fellow teenagers or whatever. Yeah, whatever it is. Whatever it is, I don't know the length of it. I haven't seen the Gif in a while, or yeah. Well, yeah, he's definitely like, he's definitely a lurker. He's a peeper, like it's fine, it's fine what he did, but he is like, he is a peeping Jeffrey. Yeah. It's fine what he did, but he is a peeping Jeffrey.

Yeah. If you watch the show about his family, you start to understand where some of this comes from because he didn't really have his own voice a lot of the time. It was about his dad who was really funny and who later became a ghost. Just the back of his head at some point.

Like if your dad is just, you know, you only see him in like three quarters views. That's how it feels when you're a kid. You know what I mean? You don't really see your parents as whole people. A lot of times you see them as sort of a CGI apparition. My dad was like, I grew up in a house where my dad

was always only speaking off camera. Yeah. It's so powerful to talk about now. You had one of those patent dads, one of those patent dads, like those VO dads. A Ron Howard, or like in the case of the Tenenbaums, like a Baldwin. And I'm just kind kinda processing that now.

I'm working through it. Everyone's trauma is different. It's easy to go, oh, a lot of people had a lot worse. Strongly disagree, Sean. I'm sorry to be pretentious. A lot of people had a lot worse. I feel like it's all- You think everyone's trauma the same? Yeah, it's like we're all-

Every single trauma is exactly the same. Trauma's trauma. We're all pink inside, you know? Trauma's trauma. Some of us are medium rare, but it's all the same meat. Yeah, no, I've been talking about- What if you had a trauma?

What if you had a trauma that some people did that made you not pink inside anymore? Like it was like something pretty serious happened and it made you just like a completely different color. Right, like the brownening. Yeah. Or even if it was like a St. Patrick's Day attack that gave you green inside.

Oh, like when they die the river. Well, yes, but what if they did that actually with your insides? I love like when they die the river. Well, yes, but what if they did that actually with the insides? Oh, I love it when they die the river. Well, I do too, I have to admit. But if they did it to me. And that's why they pinch you on St. Patrick's Day to like, you know, it's to summon your blood

to the surface and see like, well, see if there's any green in there. Yeah, is it still pink in there? Because let's see if we can get that greened up. That's why they're pinching you. Why, what, what, what? Dimey a river. Pinching is what, if you're not wearing green?

Just to- If you're not wearing green, yes, it's to summon your blood to the surface and to see if it's green in there. To see if you can get away on a technicality. Dimey a river. Oh yeah. And I do have to- to see if you can get away on a technicality. Dimeo River. I am. And I do have to.

Say, Patrick's Day. Let's have fun. Maybe do Dimeo River in like a leprechaun kind of voice? Can you do, is that in your, I haven't listened to your, I haven't listened to your video. You mean someone from the country of Ireland? Well, no, an apparition that is,

it's a fictional creature, right? Amy, a river. Amy, a river. Amy, a river. I'm glad you're still taking requests. Hey, you know, I aim to please, I don't give a fuck what's on the show anymore as long as somebody's listening, even if it's just our guest

Yeah, and I pleased to aim That impression was so good. Ned divine woke up. No Huh We gotta watch that. Let's watch Waking Ned Divine. Waking Ned Divine, the three of us, this same spot next year. Can we please do a Waking Ned Divine watch along?

A watch along? We have to do a live commentary of Waking Ned Divine for our listeners. What about a wake along? That might finally get us to get like Double Threat and Hollywood handbook collab. I mean. But Tom is gonna be like,

I feel like Tom is gonna be razzing it and stuff. Yeah, I can't enjoy any of this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He actually, that's one of the movies where he's like, everybody shut the fuck up. Everyone shut up. Yeah. Yeah. Nobody talk!

Until Ned Devine wakes up. When he wakes up, then we're gonna actually have to have a conversation. And then Ned does wake up and he goes, when I wake up, well, I know it's gonna be, it's gonna be a watch along for you and me. I always forget that. Wow.

That they were singing about Ned Divine. And that song is sung from the perspective of Ned Devine. And you know me, I'm a huge Ned Devine fan. I even have a Ned Devine mural behind me. And you're kind of havering right now, I would notice. Havering? Yeah, like in the song, they talk about havering. What is havering?

Remind me. I didn't go to Haverford. I didn't go to Haverford. And I'm havering right now. Is that what he says? I didn't even go to Bryn M I didn't go to Haverford. And I'm Havering right now. Is that what he says? I didn't even go to Brynmore. I Bryn-ed less. I wish they Bryn-ed less.

What's Havering? 500 miles. Yeah, is it like a Haver board? Like from Back to the Future? It's like it's from Back to the Future. By the way, can we please talk about Back to the Future 2? Oh my God. You know what I mean? Well, when is some of that stuff gonna happen?

Like, when are people finally gonna talk about it? No, I've been waiting, like, the hover boards, like all this stuff. My jacket is so wet. We never discuss it. Why? Crispin Glover's involvement doesn't get talked about. No, they won't. People have actually forgotten about Back to the Future. 25, my jacket's wet still.

Meanwhile, has anyone pointed out that Biff's assent is kind of predictive? It's a little similar to a certain individual. A little too similar. It's the Julian Assange story. It is, yes, I think we all recognize that. No, Back to the Future, those who forget Back to the Future are doomed to repeat it.

I'm sorry to stay on the wet jacket of it all, but the fact that we have jackets that do talk, but they just say, your jacket is still wet. And it's like, we'll dry it. Be bomber. You know what they should have done is left the jackets out with Jennifer on the porch. They leave Jennifer, and it's, by the way,

no one ever talks about Jennifer being replaced. No, yeah, it's a different Jennifer. That's a different Jennifer, and no one's ready for that conversation. The only thing about Back to the Future, too, and it's obviously, it's damn near perfect film. Go ahead. You know what they said to, it's on the Jennifer film. Go ahead. I won't finish my sentence ever again.

It's on the Jennifer of it all. No, you go ahead, yeah. Jennifer's body. Do you know what they said to Jennifer? Tell me. I guess if I get two thirds of the way through my sentence, I assume that it's kind of like, I have the floor at that point, but what if I don't?

But it's still on the Jennifer topic. I would appreciate, I think we need to let a topic just like- Maybe. Sit for a little bit. Maybe. topic just like sit for a little bit. Maybe. Speaking of sitting for a little bit, that's what I'll be doing for the rest of the episode.

To see if anyone has anything on that specific topic. I know that if a thought occurs to you that it's gonna come out. And so I'm just gonna clear face for that. If it's on that topic, I think we just need to, or at least go around and be like, does anyone else have anything on this? Jeffrey Goldberg is gonna have something.

It's just that we're doing a Julie Klauser episode. I know, that's why I feel like we have to lay the rules. I've never, I've never. There's not gonna be enough interrupting and new tangents started. Okay, okay. So that's why you were like, let me. I'm introducing rules where we say,

okay, does anyone else have anything in this area? I didn't interrupt you this last time, Sean. Julie, when you do it, I like it, but we have to then know, okay, that part is handled. You know what I mean? Handle? The composer? Exactly.

And I really worry that we're getting away from- We're getting so far away from the Jennifer thing. Tell me about the Jennifer piece. Do you know what they said to Jennifer on the set? What? To the actress? Tell me. Elizabeth, shoo!

I told her to shoo! Tch! Tch! I told her to shoo. I told her to get the hell out of here. Now we can go on to whatever the next topic is. The composer handle? No, I don't have anything, I have no take on it. I don't have a handle on handle. I have like a handle of a cardi right now. Look, well, it's earlier there.

It's a little earlier, yeah. Yeah, it's 5 p.m. somewhere. I think we can do all the actors' names. Yeah, we can do all the actors' names. Michael J. Fox. Michael J. Fox. Tom Wilson.

But what? Pfft. Thomas F. Wilson, right? You like Thomas, but you're saying F. Wilson. Thomas F. Wilson, right? You like Thomas, but you're saying F. Wilson. Thomas F. Wilson. So that's like someone who saw Cast Away. And they were like, they had like a very concise review. Crisp in glove?

Er. This is good. No one talks like this anymore. I feel like we. Anymore. Yeah. We have moved away from it a little bit. I think we might've moved it out too fast.

I will say like, this is the first time I've done, first of all, I'm so happy to be back on Hollywood Handbook. I have to. Oh my God. I have to give credit where it's. It's better now, right? It's been too damn long. It's gotten better, right? I don't think they're,

I don't even think of it in those terms. I just think that this is like, oh wait. You know the rent's too damn high guy has now got a sign that says, it's been too long since Julie's been on Hollywood Handbook? That's his new concern. And he stopped saying damn, he cleaned up his act a little bit.

Well yeah, I mean first of all, it's a longer idea. It's been too long. It's been too long. And I'm so glad to be here. And I just wanted to mention, this is the first time I've ever not gone into the show with a topic to depart from.

That's interesting, yeah. Maybe we finally learned our lesson, or maybe it's a mistake. We'll see. Time will tell. Should we just like jump into this? Do we didn't mention, what's her name? Who plays Lorraine?

Leah Thompson? Did we not do her yet? Yeah, so- Let's just get through the McFly family and then decide. Yeah, so what are we gonna do with Leah Thompson? Leah Thompson is really tough. Leah Thompson. Leah Thompson.

Her son, like is it like Princess Leia? I mean you could pretend it's Thompson. You could pretend, that would really help. Why don't we pretend it's Thompson. That her name is Leah Thompson. Thump, like Bambi, like Thumper? Well that feels further away to me. That does seem further away.

I feel like I had gotten us kinda close, like if there was like a drum there and it would go, that's what Leah thumps on, you know? Oh, that's fun. I don't know. We don't have to solve it all today. It is the first time you've come on without a topic to sort of veer away from, but I'm wondering,

is it also the first time you've come on without some sort of axe to grind? I was gonna say, yeah. Do you have an axe to grind? I don't feel like I'm wondering, is it also the first time you've come on without some sort of axe to grind? I was gonna say, yeah. Do you have an axe to grind? I don't feel like I'm in trouble at all. Yeah. That feels weird. It's feeling very like vibey and positive.

I'm not mad at you. I'm not mad at anybody anymore. It feels like some healing has gone on here. Yeah. Well, healing. Are you still funny? Tuh, I mean. I worry about that.

Do you worry about that? What was Lorne Michaels' funny joke to the first responders? I always forget. Oh, are we allowed to be funny again? Yeah, yeah. And then lie start now. And he was like, I don't know.

Yeah, they say, oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, they go, I don't know, are you? I don't know. Yeah, that's fine. I don I'm sorry, yeah, they go, I don't know, are you? I don't know. Yeah, that's fine. I don't fucking know, man. It's your show. Who are you? I'm a firefighter. I did get the severance procedure since I saw you last.

Oh, wow. So what are we, which one are we talking to now? Is this, is this worky? Yeah. Yeah, this is worky. Is this your worky or your homie? This is worky Klausener. This is worky Klausener. Worky Klausener. Okay, workie Klausener. Workie Klausener. Okay, workie Klausener.

Yeah, yeah. She's boring. Sorry. The podcast is strange and mysterious. Are you watching? It's mysterious and important or something. Are you watching White Lotus? No, I'm not.

Why are they doing the Severance? Oh, they are? The incest thing is back where. In Thailand? Oh, wow'm not. They're doing kind of a back to the future thing where the incest thing is back where. In Thailand? Oh wow, cool. With like Calvin Klein and all that and where they were like getting ready to smooch and stuff but like now I think they did smooch on the show,

I haven't seen it. Something happened where they were. So Calvin Klein was on? The family. Was he in the cast? The family was smooching. The family was smooching each other, yeah. The Kline'sooching. The family was smooching each other, yeah.

Great. Yeah. This is what I watch. Jeopardy, CBS Sunday morning, Paradise. Did you say Jeopardy? No, no, no, Jeopardy. No, not Jeopardy Goldberg. I don't watch him.

He watches me. Who watches the watchman? Who watches the watchman? Who watches the peeping Jeff? Who peeps on the peeping Jeff? And then whatever shows you guys are writing for, I'll just say I watch those. I watch those too.

You don't watch Jeopardy? Why, should I? We gotta get you on Jeopardy, Julie. Oh my God. Give me an example of like a clue. So like this guy with an island has like Kevin Spacey's phone number, like that kind of thing. This is the Head Gum in-house live broadcast game show.

Okay. That Sean and I did once and it was in here, right? There was a lot of conversation around it. Is Jeff Richard, is Jeff Richard, does Jeff Richard host it as Drunk Girl? Jeff Richard as Drunk Girl. He must look at like, like Cecily Strong's character and be like, okay, but at least like say

that this is my thing. I understand maybe this is a little better, but it is, you know, it is, you know, it's just me. Yeah. Yeah. It's at least say that, I walk so you could run. Call it like ketamine woman.

Yes. Yeah, say that she's in a K-hole. And let me do the thing where like, girl, you don't wanna talk to at a party, it comes out and then she's like, let me introduce you to my friend. And then I roll up in my office chair. Oh, I love a roll on. You know, a roll on to me is so much,

I know I sound like a deodorant spokesperson, but I love a roll on more than a walk on even. When they punch out a little bit and you see there's just a little space next to the update guest. And you're like, is somebody about to roll the fuck on? You might as well have just given me a little paper plate and a napkin that says happy birthday

because I know there's cake on the way. Mm, that paper plate, what do I do with that? I want a corner. You want a corner. You want the corner, huh? Of the cake? More frosting. Yeah, frosting on every side. I want frosting everywhere. I want the very middle one.

Give me the flower. Can I get the letter C? I like this. letter C. I like this. Sean, this could be your update characters. Like the guy at the office. Oh, I have an idea for a show topic. Yeah. Oh good. SNL 51. What are we doing for 51? How are we gonna top? 51 Obviously SNL 50 was good, but I think there's room for growth at 51. We got to go even bigger Yes, so okay new characters such as Sean's I Want this I want the letter C guy office worker birthday cake guys It's an office where they know they have to,

if the cake says happy birthday Julie on it, they have to tell the cake people, like, can you also put just a letter C. Can you put a happy birthday Julie, our coworker? Or just have a C. It actually is probably best if you just put a C in the corner so we can get it off the cake. Just easy to cut off the they can stop fucking about it.

Or what if it's Chappy birthday? And it's Chappy, what was Chappy again, a robot? Yes, I mean, that's sort of minimizing some of Chappy's achievements, but yeah, I mean, you could call him a robot. Chappy's achievements? I saw Chie's achievements, but yeah, I mean, you could call him a robot. Chappie's achievements? I saw Chappelroam, that's my Chappie, during an interview on my feed,

where she said that, she talked about how she had to go back and work at the drive-thru, and she was on Canadian radio, and the guy was like a music guy hosting the radio show, and she's like, yeah, so I was back working at the drive-thru, living with my parents, and the host goes, oh, chap, that's hard. Okay, Chapel Rhone performing with, who's one of like, Lorne Michaels' ancient friends,

and we can pair them up for SNL 51. Okay, yeah, so we get like Chapelrone and like Cat Stevens? Reanimated like Roy Orbison or something. Yeah, Roy Orbison's like projected on screens behind her because he's no longer with us, I think. Yeah, well that's why I said reanimated. Oh, I didn't hear you, I'm so sorry.

It's fine, you know. I heard that, I heard I said reanimated. Oh, I didn't hear you, I'm so sorry. It's fine, you know. I heard that, I heard Rihanna mated. Well, Anna Gasteier, what about Anna Gasteier? She did. Rihanna mated. She did. She did. Is there anything to that? Anna Gasteier, what about her?

And Rihanna. Rihanna Gasteier. Rihanna Gasteier. Yeah, that's, write it down, Kevin. Rihanna Gasteyer. Yeah, that's- Rihanna Gasteyer. Write it down, Kevin. Rihanna Gasteyer. What about this? Hit me. We have Lonely Island and Please Don't Destroy, straight up Harpo Marx, Lucille Ball mirror routine,

black and white, fun. Whoa. Hollywood handbook. Whoa. Hollywood handbook. You know what I think has to, at this point, Julie? fun You know what I think has to at this point Julie, you know comedy My favorite topic. Yes in New York comedy. Oh, yeah Now we're getting right into the teeth of it. It's Consolidating a little bit like wow, it's as good as ever, but not as many people

in the game as before necessarily. Well, there's been a necessary contraction. What if we merge? You join the Legion of Skanks. Uh, got a couple of conflicts there, but keep going. Keep going. You have some conflicts? Keep going.

I want to know where this is going to end up before I voice any grievances. The entire Legion of Skanks is a cast member on SNL. So it's like you bring- What's the conflict? And you can bring some others with you. Yeah, what's the. Are you part of a different group of skanks

and you signed a non-compete? I'm part of a different legion, actually. Oh, it's a different legion. All right, all right. Okay, legion of pranks. Region of Shawshanks, actually. Region of Shawshanks. Yeah, we're all about like get busy living

or start dying or whatever it is. But we're like, don't call us obtuse. Wow. We dig a hole, yes. The digging a hole, I remember, the obtuse thing. Obtuse didn't immediately. The warden hated being called obtuse. That was the warden. The warden doesn't like that. The warden hated being called obtuse. That was the warden.

The warden doesn't like that. The warden, no. It's not necessarily digging a hole. No, we dig a hole with our performance. Yes. Funny that people call him obtuse because I think he's acute. Aw.

Yeah. That's a, hey look, Valentine alert. Got me Harris. Valentine alert. Yow. There you go. Shawsh a, that's, hey look, Valentine alert. Harris Eulin, got me Harris. Valentine alert. Yow! There you go. Shawshank, Valentine. I pray that was Harris Eulin. Line.

You pray, really? That's what you're praying for these days? I will pray for victory, like JD Vance. Oh God. I will say a prayer for victory that that was Harris Eulin. And it was not. Say a little prayer. Fuck me. Who was it? And who was it?

Who was it, Bob Euler? I just looked up Harris Eulin. So this was Harris Eulin. And it was not. Say a little prayer. Fuck me. Who was it? And who was it? Was it Bob Euler? I just looked up Harris Euler. So this is Harris Eulin. I know who the guy is. I can't pull his name out. The guy we all know.

Of course, yeah. I think the guy's name was Bob. I think his name is Bob. Bob. Sounds fake. Gunton. Was it Bob Gunton? Bob Gunton.

You got me Bob Gruntin. Oh, it's not Bob Gunton. No, it is. It? Bob Gunton. He got me Bob Gruntin. Ah, it's not Bob Gun, oh no it is, it is, it is. He's just a bit older now, it is Bob Gunton. Ooh, Bob Gunton got me Bob Gruntin. Your warden lust cannot be contained. Did you hear me say that? You didn't, you blocked him out? No, I did hear it.

So I did promise to sit back. I did hear it, I just took him up on the offer. Hehehehe. Hehehehe. What are you drinking, what are you sipping on? I actually was gonna, before I took you up on that one, I was gonna say Bob Gunn got me Bob Gunn, gunt, gunt. What?

Hehehehe. Oh my God, you guys are horny. He got me Bob Gunn and I'm Bob the Shoot. It's better, that's what I'm saying. We're coming to life, we're kind of, we're blooming. You're saying yes to life. These episodes we do with you, Julie, just exist in their own separate space from everything else. Okay. And for the people who love them,

I mean, it must just be their absolute favorite thing. May God have mercy on their souls. Not the God that Hayes praised to. No, I will say I prayed to God for victory. I'm doing a huge pray right now. It's going really well. Are you fellas too young to remember when MC Hammer put out that record of like,

that's why we pray? Do you remember that song? Boy, I didn't think much about MC Hammer, slip past me, but this one did not ping my radar. That was kind of like, that was I think when America and MC Hammer both decided to take a powder with each other. I remember Kid and Prey from around that same time. Mm-hmm.

Those were, this was our generation. Are we on the place now? Eat, pray, rap? As we get older, and we all are aging, if we're, you know, the alternatives a lot worse, right? Guilty as charged. Jax, you know, the alternative's a lot worse. Guilty as charged. Jax, we drank from the hose. That's what I'm saying is are we in the place now

where we're just like, we are the greatest generation. I still drink from the hose. Yeah, we gotta be the best one. Right? If you really look at all the generations. We were the best ones. Come on. Right?

We had what? TGIF on Fridays, and then on Mondays, maybe our parents would come home and maybe they wouldn't. That's also a thing that I personally love bragging about generationally is like, we have a key to let ourselves in. Parents just said, here, here's your fucking key. Our parents were like, go outside,

you're locked out of the house now, go find something to do. Yeah, and if you eat, if you have fruity pebbles for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, I don't care. But it was two things, I guess it was different doors, because we didn't have to lock our doors. No. Back then.

We didn't have to lock our doors, but I do remember, you either needed a key The doors were just unlocked. We didn't have to lock our doors, but I do remember that you either needed a key that was on a latch. Or you were locked out of that. I was often fully locked out. So it was, I think it was three doors. And it was three doors. Go outside. It was three doors.

It was the one you never had to lock. It was the one that you were given the key to open. And then the third one was the one that you were locked out of to go outside. And just told to go outside. We actually played outside, believe it or not. We touched grass before we were told to. Oh yeah.

I'd walk down to the railroad tracks. And you remember finding those. Keep my eyes peeled for muskrats. I remember finding those magazines in the grass. Oh my goodness. That was how we learned. The pregnancy porn. What?

That's the magazine we found. The Spurgeon General. Really? Was leaving out magazines in the grass for us. Yes. Pregnancy porn? Pregnancy porn. That was the primary stash I could remember discovering.

Pregnancy porn magazine. Wow. I was reading, I was reading Prayboy magazine. Sean. While you all were reading Playboy reading, I was reading Pray Boy magazine. Sean. While you were reading Playboy magazine, I was reading Pray Boy magazine. I was, I think I'm a little older,

so we only found like IVF porn. IVF porn, wow. It was just like hopeful couples. Yeah. Just holding hands in a waiting room. Oh, they were doing more than holding hands, Sean. I did say it was porn. Okay.

Yeah, cause it doesn't mean. So one of them had their hand like this and the other one had their finger. Let's just say one of them was reading a magazine, but like it was covering his lap. Okay. Wow. Which is where he stored his genitals.

Which is where he stored what the doctor would be asking for in 15 minutes or so. Give me those genitals. Depending on who else was in the waiting room and what time they were there. Mm. There's gonna be a wait. What do you like to do when you're waiting for a doctor?

I like to look at my phone. More and more, I actually agree with you. More and more lately, I find myself. More and more lately I find myself when I am waiting for the doctor. Yes. And I didn't think I would become one of these people. I'm looking at my phone. What do you look at on there, Julie?

That's what I'm always like, what am I supposed to be looking at on here? The keypad. The keypad. Okay. Trying to memorize it. I'm looking at the buttons on the side. Okay, so there's some volume up.

Are they gummed up with what looks like sawdust to you, or is that just my phone? So you're in the shop lately, huh? I've been hearing about like, we've been trying to book you. I got it. She's in the shop, she got the big goggles on. This is what you. I got it. She's in the shops, you got the big goggles on. This is what happens.

I got an apprenticeship with Nick Offerman. Wow. I thought it was comedy related. It was not. You thought you were gonna be on the apprentice cruise. Right, and now I'm on about a million splinters later. I realize. You're cruising in your canoe, your handmade canoe.

Cruising in my canoe. Your canoes in. They, but I'm what, I mean, you must be drunk all the time off that, off the scotch and everything. Oh yeah. Scotch, mustache. Mustache. Wood.

Bacon. Bacon. Steak. Flannel. And Megan Mullally's original cast recordings. Yeah. It's all a blur to me, but I have to focus when I use the jigsaw.

Isn't it crazy when it works, it works. Totally. Here we have a Broadway diva. Yeah. And a woodworking he-man. I know, all in one person. And we are talking about me, right? Yes.

We're talking about Megan and Nick? Hey, you go, okay, opposites much, but they attract, don't they? Love is love and funny, they're both funny. What I- Funny conquers all. And you know, they had that podcast. Did you work on that podcast, Kevin? I did. Kevin used to get in bed

with them in the podcast. That's right. Hubba hubba. It was a podcast where they were in bed together. Can you imagine finding that podcast, Kevin? I did. Kevin used to get in bed with them in the podcast. That's right. Hubba hubba. Mm-hmm, it was a podcast where they were in bed together. Can you imagine finding that porn in the woods? He'd be curled up at their feet, checking the levels like a little dog. And it just didn't, you know, they're busy people,

so it didn't continue for like scheduling reasons, but I do feel like- Well, he has, I will say, just to be completely honest, he has delegated like 75 cabinets to me. So that, okay, cause he told Kevin that he couldn't do the podcast anymore cause he had to do 75 cabinets. Oh, interesting.

Yeah. But those also may have been cabinet positions because of course he was the president since Civil War. Those may have been- Have you seen A24 Civil War? Those may have been, he had to do 75 cabinet positions. Yeah, he may have been delegating 75 cabinet positions to you. Well, then my to-do list needs an update. Because a lot of his people were murdered.

A lot of his employees. Spoilers much? How about no more A24 spoilers? Spoilers welcome. How about no more A24 spoilers? Spoilers welcome. This is A25? That's actually a really cool idea for a company. Good idea. Wait, don't we?

A25 is a really good idea. A25 is just a little more mature. Should we switch topics? What do you want us to, do you have something in mind? I'm done with SNL 51, what have we brainstormed? We're done with SNL 51, okay. Now that you mentioned it, SNL 51, A25. It's not really the most dramatic switch.

Switching from SNL 51 to A25, I think we should be able to make that link 183 Blink 183 is also a great idea What is like like the the nurse on the cover instead of like about to be like putting a you know rubber glove on she's like using some sort of, like the latest technology. Okay, she's got a more modern thing than a glove. It's like the future. What A3 is like the future version of one A3.

Or it's like an AI nurse. What if it's like an AI nurse? It's an AI nurse. Yeah. Oh, she's like a robot. It's like, it's freaking Siri. It's like a robot. It's like a robot. It's like a robot. It's like AI nurse. Yeah. Oh, she's like a robot. It's like, it's in freaking Siri. Oh, it's a Chappy, it's Nurse Chappy. It's Nurse Chappy.

Nurse Chappy at your service. Instead of Nurse Jackie, it's Nurse Chappy. Oh, keep, keep, keep talking, we'll keep talking. Go Nurse Chappy, you're coming home. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! You just let go. You just let go and you just let the joke be what it is. Kevin, who were some of the guests that you had on the Megan Mullally Nick Offerman show? Let's see, Lisa Kudrow, I remember. Wow, that's an A-lister if I ever heard of one. And they were getting in the bed and snuggling as well.

Yep. That's cute, that's cute. These are snuggly people. Mike White. Wow. Okay. We did a few Zoom episodes, did one with Mr. Alec Baldwin. Wow.

Jamie Lee Curtis and Christopher Guest. Both of them. Yes. And so, Julie, it's just interesting. You've had a lot to say about Alec Baldwin, and you didn't even know that Kevin was friends with him. And Kevin has been like... That they actually did the show.

Well, no, I saw him on the Baldwins last week. It was like, our friend Kevin is coming to stay with us. Kevin's coming over. And the kids are all just like, oh. Some of them hide. We're about to see our friend, how you say, Kevin? Oh. Oh.

Oh. Kevin Bartoli. Kevin Bartoli. Oh. That show is hard to watch. And the kids were mad, the kids didn't want Kevin to come over. Well, some of them hid, and some of them got their big plastic swords out,

they were ready to fight him, but none of them liked him. Wait, Kevyan Bardem. Kevyan. Ooh. Kevyan Bardem. Kevyan. Ooh. Kevyan Bardem. I, Dios mio. Kevin, that could be an SNL 51 character for you, yeah. Mm-hmm.

Put it on the list, Kevin. What if- Playing other races, it's coming back. What if- That's next. What if Hilaria Baldwin changed her name to Hularia Baldwin changed her name to Hularious Baldwin?

What if she changed her name to Hularious Baldwin? Hularious meaning she's on Hulu? Like a Hulu. She has like an hour, she has like a new Hulu special? Yeah, like it's, I'm sorry. Well the show is on HBO. I didn't think I'd have to, it's Hularious. Okay. It's Bill Burr, it's'd have to, it's hilarious. Okay.

It's Bill Burr, it's Gaffigan, it's Otzko. Okay, yeah. Hilarious. Yeah, put her on, bring her in. Grease her up. Yes. And I do think it is crazy that they grease everyone up before they have them be hilarious.

It has something to do with Jim Gaff Jim Gaffigan's, like, bacon thing and, like, butter being good, and it's fine. Then, so they have to grease everyone up because Jim Gaffigan, which I don't even think he has a bacon thing. He doesn't. It's not, no, he doesn't. But they thought he did?

They thought he did. I can see why they think that. He talks about food and stuff, but little insulting. Definitely know they're talking about food, yeah. He talks about all kinds of things but little insulting. Definitely know they're talking about food, yeah. He talks about all kinds of things. Nothing's off limits with him. I'm a fan.

I don't know about you, I'm a fan. I really like Jim Gaffigan. Me too. I think he's really funny. He also looks like he would be like a good third Hollywood handbook host because he is blonde. I've been saying that. You two are like my two blonde friends. I like that you think of me is blonde. I've been saying that. You two are like my two blonde friends.

I like that you think of me as blonde. I feel like people don't call me that anymore. Cause what, you're, what are you dirty blonde? When you were a baby, I'll bet it was like corn silk, right? Oh my God, Julie, you have no idea. Really? Like white? Like Ed Begley Jr.?

I'm getting ready to go white really soon. You're gonna go white and it's gonna be like a shock of white hair. I'm gonna be hanging with Mr. Cooper Anderson that is. Oh, Dave Foley went from like light blonde to just white overnight. Yes. Looks terrific, looks great.

Whoa. Hollywood Hamburg. Whoa. Hollywood Hamburg. Whoa. Hollywood Hamburg. Julie, I have a question for you. Okay. How was your week? Pretty good, thank you Kevin. He's been saying I'm back. He said I got a stick of dynamite back here

and let me know when to throw it. I love it, thank you for asking Kevin. It's back again, huh? How was your week? This know when to throw it. I love it. Thank you for asking, Kevin. It's back again, huh? How was it? This show likes to come back. All the weeks in between. I'm the comeback kid. Are we gonna be on it?

I wish you would. I'll invite you right now. We've never even been on it once. If I ever have one week that's worth talking about, I'll let you know. Please come on. Do you wanna come on as a duo or as two singlets? I think I want all the oxygen for myself. Yeah, I think it'd be healthy for both of us.

It'll help you actually, because you'll get two episodes. We wanna just take out our calendars now and just do this? Who else is coming up? Bruce Valanche. Wow. I know, he has a great book out. I loved it. The Center Square.

I couldn't put it down. That's why I want that part of the cake, because that's Bruce Valanche. Oh really? Yeah. Who's your favorite Center Square in general? Yeah, yummy. Yummy, yummy. Yeah, let's do it. So what does May look like?

Rainy. How about the, how about April 30th, one of you? Let's do Star Wars day. No! Let's do what comes out on Star Wars day. No, you know I spent that whole day in Temple. Let's do May the 14th with us. I'm observant.

I'm reform-cadox. Reform-cadox. Reform-cadox. Hey, listen, How Was Your Week is my podcast and it's back and I'm so glad you mentioned it gang. Are we partnered up? We may as well be. Are we? I mean are we? Kevin's nodding. Who are we partnered with?

What family are we with for this one? Kevin. FD. Fervor Dog. The dog. The hair of the dog never hurt anybody. FD. Fervor dog. The dog. The fever dog. The hair of the dog never hurt anybody. Oh! With Harry from the dog district. The dog wolf. Mm-hmm.

Harry is the producer of How Is Your Wheat. Mm. Love it. Harry dog. Harry dog. Harry dog. So Harry will book. What is this, the freaking zoo? Both of you.

Harry will book us. Book. Harry will book us? Book him Harry. Yeah, dirty Harry. Mm-hmm. I call him. It's a great show, everybody loves it. But tell me for real who's gonna be on it coming up soon. I told you, Bruce Valand.

He's actually gonna be a guest? Yes, I interviewed him yesterday, it was amazing. You interviewed him already? Crap. Yeah, it was great, I interviewed him yesterday. What was amazing. You interviewed him already? Crap. Yeah, it was great. I interviewed him yesterday. What was the question?

I can maybe follow up. Is that really him on my next door posting all the time? I'm gonna answer that for myself, yes. Are the posts funny? They are pretty funny. Okay. Passes the smell test. But that's what you would also call yourself if you were just like a funny person

trying to be funny on there. You'd be like, this is my character, next door Bruce Williott. The curse of the clown. I don't know, you think? Yes. What are his concerns on next door? He's just, I mean, he's just in there

help lighten the mood a little bit. Just mixing it up. So if someone's like, what's an example of a next door post? Because here in New York City, we don't have next door. We have get away from my door. Well, I can't do both ends of it. Okay, so Sean, do you mind, Sean, could we like, could you act the part of someone who's like,

posting on next door and then Hayes can like, give an example of Bruce Vilem's posting to liven up the conversation. Mm-hmm, yeah. All right, so a typical next door post might be like, there's a man standing in my cornfield all night scaring the crows away. No, send him to me with the, No way. Oh.

Send him to me with the, tell him to bring the butter. Oh my God. I got to download next door. This seems like my new favorite app just for, again, callback alert, waiting in the doctor's office, I wanna be entertained. This seems like some pretty fun comedy writing. It's a lot of, but you don't, Again, callback alert, waiting in the doctor's office, I wanna be entertained. This seems like some pretty fun comedy writing. It's a lot of, but you don't, I mean, this is like the city.

You don't have like cornfields to even like try and keep crows out of. When you say cornfields, when you say cornfields, are you like literally? I mean, I guess. I guess, yeah. I guess it's not a full. I was called upon to do an example of a next door post. You know what I mean? Now I have to like.

Oh, you're getting, no, you're getting defensive. Create this entire mythology around it. I'm sorry, I had follow-up questions I should have held to myself. It's just so much emotional labor. I guess it's not like, it's not a whole field, but like it has two corns Which is all the more reason to try and keep the crows out more of a corn zone

Yeah, if they get even one corn you're You're fucked That's the your own life support at that. Yes. That's the whole harvest I thought you were gonna do something like Bruce Blanche was like, oh, that's me It's not a scarec oh, that's me. It's not a scarecrow, it's me. But I guess the original poster didn't say, I'm sorry, I shouldn't be picking apart your improv. I just can't help.

I just can't help but giving notes. We just say OP. Yeah, the OP would go like, a scarecrow what? Uh-huh. Sir, I'm telling you, there is a man standing in my cornfield all night. And he's scaring away all the crows. And that's bad?

That's a cool sweater, Julie. Thank you. It says directed by Barbara Streisand. This is the last, this is like when Yentl ends. There's that pull away shot of her on the boat and then this comes up. This is like the first thing that comes up. It's like, boom. And now it's on your clothes.

Did you ever see Yentl? And now you wear it on your clothes. Yeah. Did I ever see what? Yentl. I've seen clips. I saw Yentl Ben. A lot of clips on TikTok lately.

That's what TikTok is good for, I think, like short clips. Just getting a sense of Yentl Ben. A lot of clips on TikTok lately. That's what TikTok is good for, I think, like short clips. Just getting a sense of Yentl. Mm-hmm. The gist of Yentl. Mm-hmm. Yeah, getting the feel for it, but not getting it spoiled. It's the only musical where only one person gets to sing. I see, what's something Barbra Streisand says in Yentl?

Barbra Streisand is like, I got an idea for a musical. Everybody else, shut up. Shut the fuck up. Every time someone else is singing to these musicals, I go, what the fuck is this part? What's a line of dialogue from it? Nothing is impossible. Yeah.

Pipe down over there, Yentl. But some of the singing in the head. No way, right? Well, it's like, it's like, Papa, can you hear me? That's from Yentl. Yeah, and he's like, yeah, I can. I just told you to pipe down. That's fun.

If you do like, that's another idea. Yeah. After our Waking That Divine watch along, if we do a Yentl commentary. I wish it had a number. Like where we respond. Yentem. We just go to the next letter.

We've been just changing the last digit face. Oh, yeah, that'd be amazing if Yentl were like Yentl 22. Yeah. Uh-huh. So, but wouldn't you wanna go backwards and start it with Yente? Would I personally? Go backwards.

Yeah, C. Julie, I gotta tell you, I don't wanna do anything anymore. Oh, should we talk about that? No. Should we come up with some CBT strategies? Oh, I'm trying. Yeah. And I don't mean the dirty con, there's two things

that CBT refers to and one is dirty. You bring this up so much. You obviously want to talk about both. Because it's important, it's important that people know the difference and you're not going to like a CBT therapist and you get there and he's like, oh, ready for some. Yeah.

I assumed you meant cognitive behavioral therapy, but you're implying that possibly I go to a doctor for cock and ball torture. That's what I meant. But I didn't want to say it because I don't want to be dirty all the time. No, no, no, it's a safe space here. Is it?

You already said we're all pink inside But I meant flesh We do this what do you think is really dirty? Yeah, I'm listening gentle damn Bye That was a hate gum podcast Hey, I'm Wayne Brady. And I'm Jonathan Mangum. And we're two big improv nerds who get a chance

to play and make stuff up on shows like Whose Line Is It Anyway or Let's Make a Deal. And we're now hosting a new improvised show called What If on the Head Gum Podcast Network. And on What If, we believe that improvisation is a conversation. So we get to have conversations with guests from the worlds of TV, film, tech, and literature.

Guests like Bobby Moynihan, Aisha Tyler, LeVar Burton, and Adam Conover. We ask them the big, ridiculous questions like, what if you heard a monkey's feelings? What if your grandma was a secret agent? What if Jonathan was invited to the cookout? I'm not. And then we turn the conversation into spontaneous scenes, songs, well, because that's what we do. Subscribe to What If on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, wherever you get your podcasts,

and watch episodes on YouTube. No script, no net, just What If.