Hollywood Handbook - Kristen Schaal, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: April 29, 2025

Sean talks to KRISTEN SCHAAL about her new role as co-host of Hollywood Handbook. Check out Kristen’s new podcast The Extraordinarians with Tony Hale and Matt Oberg on Apple Podcast and YouTube!Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. With a $5 meal deal with new McValue, you pick a McDouble or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four-piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Prices of participation may vary. McDouble meal $6 in some markets for a limited time only. Yeah, so we, sometimes while the theme song plays, we'll just be able to have like our own little moment before normally obviously there would be a guest

in the other seat and then we would have like, sort of just time for us to connect and find out where we're at today before we kind of bring them into the room. But that's been the, you know, the general format. And like, what actually could be cool, I'm just thinking of this now, but like if this works out,

like if you feel good about it, which I'm actually feeling really good. I need this, I really need this. Well, I was gonna say like you, yes, I think it could be great for you, but if you coming in works out, we can almost do like an exchange thing too, where like you're doing this and like,

is this crazy? Like I'm on your show. Like I'm doing like, what's your guy on the burger? Oh, what's my- What's your guy? On the Bob's Oh, what's your guy on the Bob's Burgers? Yeah. What's my I play Louie's. Perfect. So like. I'm Louise. You're doing this like it's like fun. Because people obviously I think there's a lot of overlap between our fan base.

Absolutely. You know, and so it could be cool for that. We like, oh, she's doing this and he's doing, we can switch back and forth or I'm doing, you know, but it's like anyway. I mean, it sounds refreshing. Huh? It'd be refreshing. Wouldn't it be nice?

I mean, Louise needs like some new energy. Like, I feel like you could probably bring something to her that I obviously haven't. Yeah, and it's not, that's not, obviously, I love hearing you say that. And I've like, thought the same thing, but not in, obviously, I love hearing you say that. And I've like thought the same thing, but not in a way that's insulting to you at all. It's just like, you get stuck in these patterns, right?

You're so close to it, you can't see it. And by the way, what you could do for this show, you know? Like, there's probably things we haven't explored on this show. I feel like I could give this show a jolt of just life. I feel like you guys have been doing it since 2013 and you've really just, you're on autopilot. Yeah, and not that it's stale and not that it's bad

and not that it's gotten worse and started out kind of not great. But you're so inside it. It's hard to see when you're this close to it. You can't always see it when you're close to it. And so, yeah, that's an interesting idea that you would, I guess, make the show. Better.

Yes. And you would make Louise so different. I just think I could like make Louise really go crazy. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me just an example of like something Louise has done in the past. Well, sure.

I mean, you could be sort of seeking approval from Bob and you're nine years old and you wanna watch the scary movies with him, but he's starting to connect with your brother, so you're getting jealous. Okay. So first thing I do, I tell the writers, no fucking way. Like, I'm not gonna look weak like that You know what? I'm yeah like that kind of vulnerability like people don't associate me with that at all

You know what I mean? I come from such a place of power. So I would say this week Louise is writing directing starring in the scary movie She gives her dad permission to watch it with her and by the way the brother Gonzo you get rid of Gene. He's out. Perfect. Yeah, Gene. More time for Luis. Gene's getting spliced.

Would that get rid of him? I mean, what a noise. No, it would put him. That would make two of them. That would make two, yeah. Are you, okay, hold on. So what I'm hearing, and this is revolutionary to me because I just take it. I'm just like, gong, gong, gong, thank you more please.

But it sounds like you are not taking it. You're actually writing it for them. Well, I'm steering them. I'm not gonna sit down. I was gonna say your thingies must be so tired. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I can stay away from, you know, my 26 buddies down there unless it's Sean's burgers.

Oh, okay. When it's Sean's burgers, you can get me on the keyboard, but otherwise, but I will tell them like, no, actually, this is gonna be the deal from now on. Like, Louise is gonna be kind of the main. The main character. The main thing, and everybody's kind of, basically a lot of the other dialogue is gonna be kind of the main. The main character. The main thing and everybody's kind of, basically a lot of the other dialogue is gonna be like,

I hope Louise doesn't get mad. And guess what? She does. She is, she is. Yeah, she does. How, Sean, would it be all right? Could I just hear you say a line, ask Louise? This is such a safe space to ask me that. I know, I mean, since it is our, it's our show now, right?

Cause I feel like we're getting closer. Yeah, oh God. People probably don't know what's going on. So Hayes, so obviously I don't want you to feel awkward at all. Me? No. Hayes.

I really need this. Knows what's going on. He's been pulling away from the show for a while. People have felt it. I felt it. He's got this, you know, all the city stuff he was doing. I don't even know if he does it anymore,

but he doesn't tell me. But he has decided to move on, and I said, you know, I really want the show to continue. I think you want the show to continue. I think the comedy community wants the show and needs the show to keep going. Banging a drum, yeah.

Cause it's like, it's funny from the outside, it probably looks like the show, you alluded to this, has become less relevant and kind of started from a place of at best medium relevant. It's kind of like circling, but you know what I mean? But that kind of thing, this is the moment when it's so crucial. Yes.

That we need the show. And so for Hayes to leave right now, that could be a death blow or massive opportunity for both of us and for all of us. Yes. By the way, with this freaking clown in office, now I'm gonna walk away when my job just got big. It's true. When you're, when you got important. Yeah. When we actually, when it actually became

required to have voices of sanity available. I feel like the more we talk, the more they do the opposite of what we say. So I think we should say the opposite of what we want. And yes, we should say the opposite of what we want. And yes, and that could be an interesting reverse psychology tactic to do on the people. Real quick. Go ahead. I can't help it.

I'm curious if Hayes walks away from the show, which he obviously wants to do, because he's not here. This was in the schedule, right, Kevin, for months. Yeah, but he's been pulling away. Go ahead. I'm just wondering, because he so strikingly looks like Anna Taylor-Joy, or you know that actress? Yes, Anna Taylor-Joy.

She looks like her. He could stand in for her. Furiosa. Yes, does he get that all the time? That has come up, yeah, we usually cut it out of the episodes, but most of the guests do. You do? Most of the guests bring it up.

Are you serious? You cut it out? Well, at his insistence, yeah. Are you guys serious? But he's not here to kind of direct the edit anymore. Why would he cut that out? First of all, beautiful cheekbones. She's stunning. His eyes are wide, and so is he.

Her work in the menu when she's eating the food, I literally turned to my partner in the private friends and family screening that the director held that I was invited to. Oh, oh. And I said, that's not acting. She's not acting.

She's eating that. Now I don't know if it was or it wasn't, but the point is the illusion was so full at that point. And my partner of course is going like shh, cause I'm doing it now quietly, but at the time I was like, that's not acting. She's eating that. That's how I actually said it. But like, you know, it was so incredible.

And then I would, you know, I'd look at Hayes sometimes and I'd say, why can't he commit? Yeah. You know, why can't he bring- With a face like that? Because he looks, he's got the same fucking face. Yeah. Got the same goddamn face.

I wanna see him eat something. Yeah. He's been, he's been, he's been, and frankly on. Yeah, he's been, frankly on this show, he's been a little more Anna Taylor depressed, you know? And there hasn't been a lot of the joy, the joy part of it. Oh, brother. You enjoyed that?

I did. I've done that before. He did a laugh at that. I actually didn't know how to react when you laughed at the joke. Because you're not used to getting that response. No, I haven't been getting that much. You know what?

That's gonna be hard because. Ah, that feels good. It does feel good. And you have to remember, if you are gonna get a laugh, you have to wait a minute before you talk again. He's obviously fully aware that we're doing this, that there's gonna be, and the list is really short.

I mean, it's you and like, and the list is really short. I mean, it's you and like, I mean, almost, you know. Very few other. Oh, there's other candidates. The list is so short, Kristen, it's not even worth it. Who else is on the list? It's not even worth talking about other candidates. I need to know who's on the list.

You know, Kevin's a chartered list, I don't make the list. Kevin is on the list. Tony. He's out. Who else? Just you and Tony. Oh, he's out. He's not gonna do this. The list is really short. He's not. Who else? Just you and Tony. Oh, he's out. He's not gonna do this.

This is really short. He's not gonna do this. He didn't seem like he didn't seem that interested actually. Yeah, where is he? I don't see him, yeah. But Tony does a show with you? Yeah, Tony. What's your show?

It's called The Extraordinarians. Oh my God, you gotta get me on that. No, no, no. You have to get me on that. No, no. Well. You have to have me on that. Would you like me on it? Kristin, you gotta do that. But you're gonna be so busy as Louise.

So, well. Yeah, well. Louise is a lot of schedule, huh? Big schedule. What is your, yeah. What is your, so Extraordinarians is about people who can like break records and do things like. World's funniest joke.

World's funniest podcast joke. What is it? The, and it's in the press, right? That's the one? I feel like that was huge. I mean, that was. That's the biggest laugh I've ever gotten. It tickled me.

Yeah, yeah. And you're a comedian, you got that comedy callous that we talk about all the time. What's the callous? Well, it just, you reach this certain point, you know, where as comedians, we're around the funniest motherfuckers on the planet, basically. We really are, such a privilege.

Well, it is, but it's, you know, fish don't know they're wet. And you do start to become inured to, and immunized against some of the witticisms you do start to become inured to, and immunized against some of the witticisms of your peers. To put it, you can't appreciate, can't appreciate always the greatness of the comedy around you. And the only thing that can make you laugh

is stuff that is either so fucked up, like so twisted and beyond the pale. I've seen you laugh at some stuff that would, you know. Oh, people shouldn't be laughing at. Oh, I mean. I'm like, I'm going to hell for it. Oh, you'll make some of the Jen pop out there, throw a walk basically to think about.

You know what I've done being around comedians, my community is I'll be sarcastic all the time. Forget that I'm not with my peers, say some shit ass mean things. Crazy stuff. Sarcastically. And you think we're having fun. And hurt, how many people cry?

Hurt people. Badly. Hurt people, yes. A lot. And then have to go, whoops. You know, and then explain that that was a joke. I'm actually being funny. No, I have to sit down as I, you know,

I'm like, I'm a parent. Oh my God, I would have never. I know because I look so young. I know because I seem so young. Oh my God, babies raising babies. Yes, I know, and I am, and I am young. But I meet these people at the school, teachers, I don't know what they do,

but I have to sit them down all the time and explain, I was being funny. The thing you're upset about, you actually love it. It's just a different venue, different packaging than you're used to. If you saw me doing that on stage at the Laugh Barrel or anywhere at the comedy. Oh, the comedy chuckle house.

Yes. Yes. You know, comedy is at its best when you get to just explain to people what they missed. Cause that lets them in. Well, it's educational. They need a hand. You're like, let me hold your hand, let me tell you why it's funny. People laugh all the time,

they don't know why they're laughing. They don't know why they're laughing. And what do you get from that? A laugh. But it's teach a man a fish. Because if you actually tell them, here's where you should have laughed. Yes.

And why you maybe didn't, and how you can next time. Mm-hmm. Wow. Spread your wings and fly now. I love that. And this is what this show was always supposed to be. When you were saying that comedians are cow,

so I do think about how when I watch something that is very funny, this is my face. For the listeners, it's just stoic. And the reason is that I am- Mouth turned down a little bit actually. Some of it's audio. It's just stoic. And the reason is, is that I am- Mouth turned down a little bit, actually. Mouth turned down, eyes squinty, pale. Glazed over, a little yellowy.

The whites a little yellowed, yeah. And what we're describing that's happening to me is jealousy. When it's really funny. I'm studying it. I can't enjoy it. I'm so fucking mad that I didn't think of it first. Yeah. I'll never be able to laugh at something really funny. Well, and the great myth of our present culture

is that there's enough to go around. Please. Yeah, and that makes me laugh. That makes me laugh. Oh, you got it. You wanna make me laugh. I got it. You got me.

Yeah, because it's a zero sum game. And I'm not gonna be the son of a bitch with zero. You're gonna get it done to the game. So it's like, yeah, when I see somebody getting theirs, really getting big laughs and being funny, that's time for me to just basically go into Terminator mode, try to kill them. Oh, who's on your list? Nate or Gats. Tony. That's time for me to just basically go into a Terminator mode, try to kill them. You know.

Oh, who's on your list? Nate, or Gat? Tony. Yeah. Oh, Tony. Tony's up there, yeah. Oh, shit. Didn't show up to this, but if he had,

I probably would have been, I would have used every opportunity I could to like undercut and destroy him. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Wow. So.

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PHOTO, folks, don't forget it. Thank you, Aura. Thanks. Whoa. Hollywood handbook. But instead we're here and we got- Right, we're here. We do have a show to go.

So I guess let's walk through, if we had a guest, like if we had a big guest, like- Do you guys get big guests? Cause you got me, but like I'm kind of looking through your roster. Yeah, but you're being the, like, because the one thing Hayes would do- Do you guys get big guess? Cause you got me, but like, I'm kind of looking through your roster. Yeah, that's different. Right Kevin, it's tough to book this show. Yes.

The show's a little difficult to book, but with you in there, I think we might be able to, you know, kind of zhuzh up the guess. So if we had somebody big, cause one thing Hayes will do that I am going to miss is he comes up with the idea for the show, like what's gonna happen during the show, a lot of the stuff to say.

So he does all the work. It's all work. There's a lot of invisible work that goes into a podcast. What's that? It's the work that is not seen. Yeah, I get what the word invisible means, but I don't understand what- Okay, because you were,

some of the words that I used earlier were saying- You used some big words, I understood them all, but I was surprised they were- Whipping out, yeah. They were like coming out of your mouth. I was just like, what? You know, I mean, not faced with those words. It's a shocker.

Yeah, because I seem young, you know. Yeah. Yeah, so you still wanna know what the invisible work is? I kinda wanna know what the invisible work is because if we're gonna do the show together, like you're acting like you're doing invisible work, but then you aren't describing what that is. Well, think about, but think about the presence.

You know what I mean? Okay. And the, there are these fills that I'll do. Okay. Hazel asks somebody a question and the question might be like, and this is an example, There are these fills that I'll do. Hazel asks somebody a question and the question might be like, and this is an example, and he honestly comes up with a lot of the examples for things like this, but he'll say,

God, I'm not gonna be able to, this isn't a question. He'll say, that's a table. So I'm pointing, so he'll say, he'll say that's a table. We really need him. Well, anyway, let's say you say that's a table. So I'm pointing, so he'll say that's a table. We really need him. Anyway, let's say we say that. I go, yeah, yep, table there.

Something like that, there's sort of like this echo quality where it's like, it's two on one, I'm a teammate, right? I'm a partner, you know? Well, let me tell you what I can offer too, is I can put questions, I can fill pauses, I can also be your hype lady. Yeah, that would be much appreciated. Right?

Because that's gonna be the opposite of what the dynamic has been. I feel like I've done that already. It's actually been, yeah, it's feeling good, but a little bit also, I'm not used to that. Yeah, uncomfortable, yeah. And so it's, what does she want from me? Well, you know what I want.

Where's the other? I think we know what I want is this spot. Yeah. Every podcast. Yes, yeah. Let me be Miss Handbook. Miss Handbook, mm-hmm. Can you be Mrs. Handbook. Miss Handbook. Mm-hmm. Can it be Mrs. Handbook?

What's the, oh, because, you're right. Oh, so we're not married? Mrs. Wait, M-I-S-S, Miss, or Ms. M-R-S is Mrs. I think I'm a Miss. But I'm married. And so for my co cohost, for my partner

to be unmarried, Miss Handbook, you know, I just don't, I don't even wanna entertain the conversations that would happen around that. Okay. Well, I'm married. I just wanna have to address the rumors. I'm married. You.

Yeah, I didn't say you weren't. We're just like, so why can't it be Mrs. Handbook? Just like if you, you are by your own admission married, which you brought up. And so it's like, why can't it be? It's M-R-S or M-S. M-I-S-S? M-R-S. It's.

C. C. See what? You didn't let me get a word out. Okay. MRS. So I'm a married handbook. I would be married to you.

No, I'm not married. I'm not named Handbook. Oh, I thought that was your last name and that's why you called it Hollywood Handbook. Well, Kevin, this is interesting. Should we make it my last name? That'd be great. Good SEO.

So then I'm Mr. Handbook, then you're Miss Handbook, so then we're not married, but we have the same last name. Yeah. So we're brother and sister? Yeah, like if I was Don and you were also Don, you know? Okay, so what's the Don? And again, I don't do the examples usually, so what does Don mean there?

Oh, it's like a first name, like Dawn. Oh, like the name Dawn. Yeah, and then there's ladies can be named Dawn, from Dawn to Dawn. Not a bad. Yeah, so what I wanted to kind of run through, Dawn, is like, I don't know, it seemed like what you wanted.

No, no, no, let's keep it Mr. and Mrs. Handbook. Yeah, well, yeah. Yeah. So I was wondering, like, if we had like a guest, like, let's say, Wayne Brady's on that couch over there. Sure, classic. So what do you do? What would we do?

What would we talk about? I would say Mr. Brady. I'd say, right? Mr. Brady. No, I have no problem with that. Mr. Brady. But we try to have like a premise, like, we try to have like a spine to the episode.

Even, usually we'll get to it about 22 minutes in. And it'll only sustain about eight minutes. People are noticing. You know? And then we'll kind of be feeling around in the dark for the last 15 to 20. Okay. But it just gives us something to be aiming for

and we just, you know, depending on how bad the first few minutes go, like we might pull the trigger early even on like, well, let's get to what we were here to talk about. But we do like to have something that we are here to talk about. So if it was Wayne or anyone, but if it was him, like, what would you talk to him about? I say, Mr. Brady, what'd you have for breakfast today? Don't tell me you don't want to know. It's really defines a person.

What did you have for breakfast today, Mr. Handbook? Oh my God. I skipped it. Ah, see that tells me a lot. And you're fine. That tells me a lot about you. And you're figuring out why my energy is so bad. Yeah, what'd you have for lunch?

Almost an entire pizza. Really? Cause you skipped breakfast. I don't know if that's why, but it's what happens. Yeah. Yeah. So you're kind of not really bouncing back from that. No.

No, not for some time. Okay. What'd you have for breakfast, Mrs. Handbook? The usual. I had the cereal. I always have the cereal. And so, this is easier than what we usually do with the show, yeah.

Yeah. So we would be like, we're gonna, you know, like an idea we might do with this show. Yeah. Yeah, so we would be like we're gonna you know Well, I get an idea we might do with like somebody like Wayne. Oh, yeah, or even you as we would go like we're gonna But we would be like we're gonna It's the mail Anna Taylor Joy. Hey guys. Hi.

How's it going? Sorry, I thought. I didn't think you were coming today. I didn't think you were gonna be here. No, I wasn't. I mean, I just came here to, well, you know, I have dinner here every night. So I was, I thought this was like the bathroom

or something and I was just having to, that's so funny that you're, maybe we can interview him. Huh? We can interview him. Hey, yeah, this is the, so it's the, Sorry, I don't need headphones. I don't know why I put those on.

Sorry, were you whispering something? I said maybe I wondered Mr. Hits. You know what I mean? It's just actually so funny that you're here. Let me call Tony real fast because I was just, I wanna tell Tony that I saw you here. Just give me one second. Give me one second. One second.

He's. Tony, hey. Hey, Tony. That was so fast. I'm at the studio and I just saw Kristen here now. She's here right now. Hi, Tony. So yeah, you heard.

Yes, yes, she's here right now. Yes, yes, shut the fuck up. I don't know. Yes, yes, tell Matt. I don't know, yes. Yes, tell Matt. I don't know, we'll do it later, do it another time. Okay, okay. All right, bye Tony.

I do, yes, bye Tony. He laughed. Did he? Yes, he thought it was so funny, he laughed. So what are you guys up to? Yeah, we're doing a podcast, a really good podcast. Kristin's doing a podcast here now. I heard about that.

And yes, you are doing a podcast with Tony and Matt. And that's all that's working out? But I have room in my schedule for another podcast. Oh, she's new to the game, but she's new to the game. And so she wanted to, obviously we've been doing it for a long time. So we wanted to practice maybe how you do, you know, so that, so that you get some rest.

You're doing a practice podcast. Practice, yeah. For her continuing to. For her to host, for her to host. She's a host now. A different podcast. Practice being a host. Not Extraordinarians, or it is Extraordinarians? Well, I'm doing

Extraordinarians. You are, yeah. That? Well, I'm doing Extraordinarians. You are, yeah. That comes out right away. Yeah. But this is. And this is basically that, it's almost that. Also a podcast that I find very comfortable in this format, on this couch.

What is? With Sean. What is a podcast? Doing a practice podcast with Sean. No. I didn't think you're gonna be here today because you've been so busy. Where you at? I know, I've been doing all. No. I didn't think you were gonna be here today because you've been so busy. Where you at?

I know, I've been doing all this stuff. I know, I know. With the city and everything that you've been doing. I know, and dinner, I have to have dinner obviously. I like your haircut. I have to have dinner. Thank you so much. I got a new haircut for a sort of exciting new opportunity

I have that I can't share right now, but I. Can you not share it because it's not real? that I can't share right now, but I... Can you not share it, cause it's not real? Well, that can sometimes be a big obstacle to sharing a new opportunity, especially a haircut worthy one. It is real, it is real. And I wish, yes, and sometimes that makes these things really hard, but it is real.

That can be a really sticky topic. Yeah. But it's- Especially for podcasts, it's supposed to be fun. It is sticky. It's very sticky, it is. It's supposed to be fun. You guys are just, you're just practicing.

Get it for me again. What? Like, it sounds like you were saying from the two different things. Oh. You're practicing. And while that's not good, but that's why we need practice, you know?

Cause it does sound like we're saying two different things. Although we should say different things. I mean, that's not good, but that's why we need practice, you know, because it does sound like we're saying two different things. Although we should say different things. I mean, it's nice for a host. I was, you know, I've said on our show in the past, I often will say just exactly what you said right after you. We've been saying just the same stuff for 10 years. The same exact thing, yeah, for 10 years or so, yeah.

No difference. And it's not any different, no matter. Yes. Although I will say, Sean, was singing your praises. That's so awesome. Yeah. That rocks. He said he loved your long hair.

Back when, I mean, it's not long anymore, yeah. I got a haircut. I don't know why we're so focused on the haircut. For the big opportunity. What is it? What is it? Is it gonna keep you away from the podcast? Ah, that'd be a shame, huh?

And then have to find a kinda new path forward or? So do you, like, do you guys know or like, you don't know? No. Kevin, go ahead. Okay, so I thought this was about me taking over on Extraordinary. You don't know about that? I had heard it wasn't working out,

but Kristin and I didn't know they were actually. You know what though? That makes so much sense. Cause I am such a bitch on that podcast to those guys. That's why I thought maybe you knew. I kind of deep down. And I thought maybe you were like being a bitch on purpose or like. Like not even. That's what I thought maybe you knew. I kind of deep down. And I thought maybe you were like, being a bitch on purpose or like.

Like not even. That's what they thought. That's what they, I mean that's what they think. It's not even on purpose. That's the worst part. I heard that, I definitely heard that word a lot. I wish it was on purpose. Right now when I was telling Tony,

like you know, I was trying to like, we were gonna do the show. We're gonna do Extraordinarians. Yeah. And I told him that you were here and he started crying and screaming. He was crying really loud. Huh?

Okay. And so I had to tell him to shut the fuck up. Yeah. Because he was so scared. He's emotional. Well, I'm- I don't really know him that way. But you make him emotional.

I mean, the records that I've been here for, he's running out of the room because of the stuff that you're saying. I think it's really just- I don't know that he's always emotional. I mean, the records that I've been hearing from him is running out of the room because of stuff that you're saying. I don't know that he's always emotional. Something about you. You know what it is though? First of all, this room, these couches, and then the whole thing of,

hey, talk and talk for 15 minutes, just let it out, let it flow. And then I'm like, I didn't know, you know what I mean? You don't know you have so much evil inside you. And it's just a perfect vehicle to let it out for the whole world to hear. And they've actually been doing an even longer show after that.

Who's that? Yeah, after your 15 minute rant. It's Matt. It's just a picture of his face. It looks like the Blair Witch project poster. That's how scared he looks. Oh no. It's just a picture of his face being so scared. I think it's the only way he could really communicate how.

Well, if he just writes, I'm scared, you go like, what does that look like? Right. But if you see the picture I'm scared, you go like, what does that look like? Right. But if you see the picture, the Blair Witch style picture face, you go, okay, well. This must be how he's communicating.

She was saying she was so scared. She was saying, I'm so scared right now. So I think that's actually probably what he's trying to communicate. I'm so scared right now. And he, I think he wants me to let him off the hook and text him back. Why, you look really scared?

So let me just say like. What would you say to a picture like that actually? This is interesting. We've been kind of running through some practice scenarios cause I don't know what to say to a picture like that. And I also don't know what to say when there's a guest in that chair. Hey, she knows.

Oh, I just told you to ask for what they have for breakfast. This is really good. So that would be every episode? What's happening right now? That's the beginning. Yeah. Every episode would be breakfast. So you just walk through all the meals.

Yeah, what'd you have for breakfast? I guess you'd have lunch with me afterwards. Yeah. And I would love to get to the breakfast thing. I do, like I do, it's not like I don't wanna talk about that. Obviously I wanna talk about it. But I kinda wanna, I think we should sorta go in order. You didn't know that this was, neither of you knew

that this was happening? I had seen, obviously I had heard Kristen as being a big bitch, and that the show. That checks. Is having some issues, the other hosts are having some issues, heck gums. She thinks it's only 15 minutes long. Heck gums upset, yeah, the episodes

are either way too short or they don't have Kristen at all. Yes. And they're really struggling to kind of like build an audience that way and that there might be a potentially a seat opening up on the podcast. But then, and then I came here and I show up and we're just like, where are you? And then I was like, this could work.

You weren't there. Cause I was like, your podcast needs. You weren't there. Right. Because I was like, your podcast needs a lot of help. It was feeling kind of natural, and you've been so busy. Yeah, you've been so busy with your haircuts. Well, I mean, you know what it's like, what those guys, from a hair perspective,

they have a standard, and I'm really just trying to live up to what you brought. Yeah. Like, that's what they wanna keep, is like a kind of hair excellence that I'm just, I'm trying to match while bringing a kindness, a droplet of empathy. A little bit more positive.

You know, yes. That like, is it possible to have both? I don't know. I'm not there on the hair yet. I'm trying a lot of different stuff. But we gotta try, you know what I mean? I'm getting nervous, cause like, so if you're doing that,

it sounds like you're doing that show. Sounds like I'm having a my off the show. Not yet, no. Okay, I mean the good thing about the show is you get no money for it. OK. You get meal tickets. Something to look forward to. You get meal tickets.

They do. Yeah. And go to my place. Oh. And Tony and Matt did say that that's what you told them. But they that you get no money for it as well. Yeah. You told them as nobody because you get no money for it as well. You told them as well. You get no money. Because you get it all.

Yeah, but if I leave, I'm taking the money. You're taking all the money with you. Well, they, okay, so Matt, so they're both leaving the United States that because of them being so scared of you. Me? Yes. Well, good luck doing that with this clown in office.

Nobody's gonna let them in. There's no way. I'll tell you that. You think no other countries will let Tony and Matt in? No. They're damage goods at this point. So they'll be able to leave here, and maybe they'll be eager to have them leave the United States.

So they'll be at the airport, they'll fly in, they'll be eager to have them leave the United States. So they'll be at the airport, they'll fly in, they'll turn them right back around. They'll turn the plane around. Whoa. Hollywood handbook. Whoa. Hollywood handbook.

Well, I guess that's settled though, is like what it turns out is Hayes is doing the other show. Yep. So they're gone set and you're not recording it today, so you're done. So let's all just leave, I guess. You first. We'll all go.

We'll get up. We'll leave the studio. We'll go home, you know? Cause there's no shows happening today. I don't know why we have to. And then you'll be doing that one. And then, you know, whatever. Handbook, it sounds like you're gonna be crazy busy

with extraordinary. Well, I'm thinking now I actually will have dinner because, I mean, I like. But you weren't here for dinner. I wasn't actually here for dinner, but I've been talking about it so much that now I'm thinking like dinner would actually be so clutch right now. What did you have for breakfast, though?

Okay, here she goes. And I do wanna talk about that, but I'm just sort of like, I'm in the dinner mindset right now and like, I am sort of thinking how clutch dinner would be. And this is, and now I'm seeing how easily your sort of silver bullet can be deflected by a skill of interview subject.

All I wanna know now is, he's like a fly, isn't he? How many steps did you get today? How many steps? Yeah. He's wearing, for those at home, he's wearing one of those steps. That's a huge flag, step, what is it?

Clocks? That's a step clock. So I have been, That's a pedometer. Oh. I have been rehearsing all day for the podcast that I was gonna do. But I thought I was doing right now.

For what? It's a pedometer, but Hayes calls it his electronic pedo bracelet. And so, Which I don't think is like the best name for it. I got six. Oh, six. Steps, six steps? I have six.

Because I've just been like, just really. Massive, loping. You can't move. Because you don't move in a podcast. You can't move. You just stay right here. So I was rehearsing over there in that studio and then finally I felt ready.

Well, because Matt and Tony were coming. And so I came over here, but now they aren't coming. But anyway, I'll just go. It's working out really good. It's like, yeah. You guys are gonna go? I think we will, yeah. Okay, I think I probably will get some grub.

What are you gonna get to eat? They got bars, they got all kinds of bars over there. So like. It just doesn't feel to me like it's like a really rich area for like people just listening at home. Like the what did you eat and what are you getting? The food, really? That's the one thing that connects us all.

What is? Food. He's just bitching to me that my food question. I don't think I'm bitching. I don't think I'm bitching. Well, you were critiquing. Somebody's hungry. This guy.

Yes. Okay. Let's eat. Let's have dinner. I don't understand why me taking over the podcast, how many episodes did you do? Four. Four. I mean, that's so long. and why me taking over the podcast, how many episodes did you do? Four? Four, I mean that's so long.

That's less than how many steps you took, yeah. That's like three movies, I mean you think they're only 15 minutes, but I mean, for a normal sized podcast, that's really long. It's like three movies worth of stuff. It's an episode of the pit, you know what I mean? Yes! It's like a full episode of the pit.

Yes, that's nothing to be ashamed of. That's a lot of content. That's a crazy good run. That's a lot of work. And you and I obviously. You just called it work. Had our thing, yes. Our thing was going, yeah.

It is a business. I do treat it like a business. It is. And I work, yes. I work at my business. I go to work. Where are you going, work at my business. I go to work. Where are you going, says my family. I'm going to work.

Oh, you have a family? Sorry, I just wanna ask him so many questions. It's surprising, it's surprising that he has a family. What is it with the, like the? We're just trying to find, you know, the best way to kind of. It's just that you ask me a question, then you go to Sean for, like, to talk about the question. Like, what is it?

Does it feel like there's a chemistry there about the question? Like what is- Does it feel like there's a chemistry there when that happens? Like there's a connection to something that's sustainable? Like we're brother and sister? Or Mr. and Mrs. Handbook. Yeah, we're still workshopping.

The show is, so I understand that she was gonna take, and I thought that was like the idea that you knew I was leaving. Did you know? So that she- I didn't have actually the exact picture. I knew that there was a, you know, potential reshuffle that happened. That there was an opening.

Yes, that there was an opening that I was told I would be considered for. And so I thought that he thought you would be available, what you are. Yeah, I guess. And then was trying to get you to be a new co-host on Hollywood Handbook, that I understand, but the idea is that you would be brother and sister?

That he's pushing that. Or, he's scared of our connection. Mr. and Mrs. Handbook, sort of a Mr. and Mrs. Smith, but it's Mr. and Mrs. Handbook, you know? Yeah, so we're like, there's chemistry, but it's Mr. and Mrs. Handbook, you know? Yeah, so we're like, there's chemistry, but it's not clear. Mr. and Mrs. Smith were- Sort of an arranged marriage between two podcast agents

or something. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but it's like, we're still learning each other. Okay. And there's some animosity. We certainly didn't have that. Yo, no, no. Okay. Well, you don't have to react that big. You know, we had a little bit of it. We didn't have that. No, no, no. Okay. Well, you don't have to react that big.

You know, we didn't have, we had a little bit of it. You didn't have that. There was some of it. You didn't have that. In some episodes, we definitely had that. But the breakfast thing is that? Is that part of that? And is it talking about food and stuff?

It's just, it's just looking forward going, how does the show feel? What does it look like? What would be like a sort of an example of like a core premise to an episode? And Kristen has been, if not married to Mr. Handbook, has been certainly married to the idea of asking people what they had for breakfast.

And then that continuing into, you know, what they had for lunch. And I that continuing into what they had for lunch. And I guess she's also asked you about what you might have for dinner. What I might have for dinner. Yeah, well, they got all kinds of bars in there, I was saying. Yeah.

They got blueberry. I mean, like this place, like once you have a show here, and I think you can talk to them about still getting to hang out and stuff for a little while. Because like once you're in the family, that's life. That's what they told us anyway. And so, I think this is like,

I treat it as kind of like a private club type atmosphere. You have a key card. Oh yeah, I don't have that. You guys have that? They know you here, they know what you like. Yeah. I got the last one, I think. Okay, okay.

Yeah, I have to sort of stand outside the door and just hope that Kevin's coming up to the door. They have, have you ever? So you knew, so you knew, so you knew, you knew that you, you knew always that she was gonna- I know, I didn't know that. That we were, this was, yeah, cause I was, I know it might be uncomfortable,

but you came in and that we were doing, you know, basically the first episode of like, Mr. and Mrs. Handbook. Hollywood Handbook, the new class. We're working on that. We're working on it. Mr. and Mrs. Handbook is better, right? She likes Mrs.

You know what the Mrs. What if it's Ms. and there's a little Ms. tree to it. It's like how many syllables do we need, you know? Mr. and Mrs. Handbook. Yes. What if it's Mrs. Handbook? Do you have a lisp? I, yeah.

Yeah, you really do. I guess I do a little bit. I mean, like, as long as we're, I mean, I'm already starting to feel really fucked up about. So cute, he really does. Yeah, but that's what you really do. And we're calling it a replacement for him. Have you heard it before?

He's gotta, have you even noticed this? We've gotta, now he's gotta say he's been, he's noticed it the whole time. Yeah, I think there's been an instance, certainly where I've made fun of someone else with a lisp and then Hay said, well, I can't do that because, you know. Yeah. Well, I don't remember that. It wasn't like a huge moment for me. It stuck out to me as said, well, I can't do that because, you know. Yeah. Well, I don't remember that.

It wasn't like a huge moment for me. It stuck out to me as like, okay, don't step on that landmine again. I can't remember exactly who I was making fun of. Oh, now I do remember. I remember exactly who I was making fun of. And by the way, people at home don't feel bad for the person who was making fun of.

Well, I don't wanna talk about this. I mean, like, you're getting replaced on your own podcast. They probably needed another Lispy person, so that's why you got the part. And I think it's actually awesome that you have it. It's a duty and more. It's such a struggle. It's so brave of you to do a podcast with that.

That's representation. Amazing list. That's representation. Yes, yes. Why aren't you owning it? There's so many people out there that thought they couldn't do a podcast. And then they heard, hey.

Because they, and I'm not just talking about this because they talk fuck up in some way. Well that makes me think I should do more than one. Like I haven't been wanting to like take up, I haven't been feeling like, oh like I don't deserve to take up that kind of space. To do more than one podcast? You actually might be right where,

I mean like I could just keep doing this one and do it for an area. I think this one's closed could just keep doing this one and do it for an area. I think this one's closed because I'm doing this one. This podcast is closed? For, I mean there's two hosts already, we don't need three.

As you, yeah we're about to jump to, I know and it was just fighting for time to talk. Yeah, I think the third, what I'm feeling is the third person being here does make her be a big bitch. Okay. So she wasn't being. No, actually she was being really kind of nice and supportive the whole episode until you came in.

And then there was this real transformation. And it was, yeah, where she started like attacking your speech impediment and all that. Yeah. And it was like not. Yeah, literally no one has done that before. So yeah, I actually like it. Now I literally no one has done that before. So. I don't, yeah, I actually. But now I know they're all thinking about it.

Everybody, yeah, everybody likes it. It's actually, yeah. Fine. But yeah, it's gotta be two. And I would probably just excuse myself and let you guys figure out sort of who wants custody of the show. You're gonna go?

I think I might just go. Okay. I'm like, I'll probably grab some dinner, you know, in the little kitchenette there. Okay. They got all kinds of bars here. I just want you to come back with it, and I wanna watch you eat it.

You know what I mean? Like, just like. You wanna watch me eat a bar? I wanna watch you eat a bar. I could get behind that. Yeah, I could get behind that. Sean goes and gets a bar for just like a second, and then comes back? Like, just like. You wanna watch me eat a bar? I wanna watch you eat a bar. I could get behind that. Yeah, I could get behind that. Sean goes and gets a bar for just like a second and then comes back and eats it.

Like, Annatella and Joy. That would actually be kind of a sick episode. Like, I wanna see if you're actually eating. Do you know what I mean? Okay, yeah. Yeah. Okay, so. So, you go.

Just so I haven't figured out. Annatella and Joy is a reference to what you look like, actually. You you go, so just so I haven't figured out. Anna Taylor-Joy is a reference to what you look like. Don't you, you get that a lot. What was that? She, you get this all the time. You reference Anya Taylor-Joy as someone that I look like? Yes.

There is a Y in it. Why didn't we say that? What were you saying, how were you saying it? Anna? Oh, is it Anna? Did we do, yeah, we're loose on this show. I think it's Anna, I thought it was Anna? Oh, is it Anna? Yeah, we're loose on this show. I think it's on, I thought it was on. Is it Anna or Anna?

I don't know. There's no ya. I don't get that a lot. There's no ya. I don't wanna lose sight of just what we were building here. Which is a potentially viral moment where I eat a bar. Sean goes, gets a bar, comes back and eats it, and we watch him eat the bar.

And see if he's acting. And see if he's acting. And see if he's acting, sure. I'm not sure about that element, but maybe we can figure that out. Our listeners get it. That can be your thing. Is that too close? Am I close to the mic, Kevin?

I thought you touched your ears. No, I was gonna go get a bar for you. No, I think Sean should do it. He's an adult, let him pick his own fucking bar. Kevin, you work so hard. Thanks, I think I should do it. He's an adult, let him pick his own fucking bar. Kevin, you work so hard. Thanks, I appreciate it. Must be something about you here, because never one, like, I've dropped all.

I'm standing up. I'm wearing a back brace today. Are you really? Is he really? Okay. He told me he was young. We'll be quiet while you're gone. Okay, we only have one second.

The show is Delisptious. Okay, we talk about food, we both have a lisp. Yes, we both have a lisp. It's just you and me. Yes. It's lisp-only. Lisp-only. Yes, and so he comes back in, we interview him

about if his food is Delisptious, and you wanted to ask breakfast, lunch, dinner, if his food is delisptuous and like, and you wanted to ask breakfast, lunch, you know, like dinner, it's food questions, is that what you're? It's just what's most curious to me and those facts about it. It's what's most curious to you, great. Yeah.

And that's what we're gonna do. Okay. I'm like, I'm already talking to Amir about like all these other shows. And so like, I know we can work this out. And honestly, I don't give a fuck about Matt and Tony. And my working experience already with them has been god awful.

Thank you, thank you. Yes. Yeah. They're such fucking babies. They care so much. Hey, what's up buddy? What bar are we working with? The door. Not.

We're not gonna miss that. Guy walks. In with a bar. In with a bar, yes. Yeah. Hey, I don't know why we work so hard. We were talking about comedy before. We were.

Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Listen to this bar. And this is just, and these are not comedies, these are just bar makers, you know what I mean? But they could have been, it says, smother fudger peanut butter.

And our guest is Sean Clement. Yeah, and he had a bar. And Sean today has a bar. Sean, today have a bar from the kitchen. And what kind of bar is that, Sean? Smotherfudger. Smotherfudger. Smotherfudger peanut butter. And the show is Delift Bichette. Welcome to the Delift Bichette show with Hayes and Kristen.

And we were wondering what you had for breakfast. What'd you have for breakfast? What'd you have for breakfast? Well, you know, God damn fucking well what I had for breakfast, Kristen. I already talked about what we had for breakfast when it was going on right now. He's not sure what he had for breakfast.

That's not, no, I'm not unsure what I had for breakfast. You know what I have, you know I skipped breakfast and then I ate almost an entire pizza for lunch and we talked about that. He had a pizza for lunch. Oh moments, a whole pizza for lunch. Wow, let's talk about that. I don't wanna talk about that for a minute.

What kind of pizza was it? I don't wanna. Was it cheese or? Was it sausage? There was cheese on it. Flau-fage with fennel. Well you know what it was, I sent you a picture of it already.

Yes, it had pepperoni cups on it. Yeah, half pepperoni. Get all the grease in the cup. Mm-hmm. Sip it up. Greasy, greasy. Half pepperoni, half cheese for myself. You need to thop it with a napkin. How come you had all the pieces?

Why didn't you have one piece or just two pieces? Why did you have all the pieces of that pie? And it's time for a segment, how come you had all the pieces? That's a segment now on this? Yes! That's a segment on this? It for a segment. How come you had all the pieces? That's a segment now on this Now how come you had all the pieces a segment I gave you that I came with that segment That came from me when I came up with a segment called how come you had all the pieces on this did there's a wall You know you came up with a segment kind of how come you had all the pieces That's my idea.

That was your idea? Like, come on. Okay, hold on. It's inspired by me. It's inspired by me. This has been delicious. Just eat the bar. Just eat your dinner.

If you wanna be a third host on- You made a plan you lost. Excuse me. Dear Lord, thank me for this bounty which I'm about to receive. Oh man. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Whoa. Hollywood Hamburg. That was a hate gun podcast. Hey, I'm Tony Hale. I'm Matt Oberg. And I'm Kristen Schall. And we're gonna be hosting the new podcast,

The Extraordinarians, where we are going to be interviewing extraordinary people, doing extraordinary things, things that we have never and probably will never do. We talk to people who have broken records on slack lines suspended by hot air balloons. We're talking to people who have done multiple flips on trampolines. You'll have to tune in to find out how many flips they did. Subscribe to Extraordinarians on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And watch videos.

God, in three. Watch it on the YouTube. There's new episodes that we release every Wednesday. We do. I've never seen you cry before. I know. I don't know how I feel about that. This is upsetting for all of us.

They don't let us pray for lunch. They do. The podcast is so competitive, they make you just talk it down. Guys, we're watching a spin out. Please subscribe. Oh, man. Extraordinarians. Hey, I'm Jake Johnson, and I host the Head Gum Podcast Please subscribe. Oh, man. Extraordinarians. cast a new girl to Michael Cera, Andy Samberg, Jimmy Kimmel, just to name a few. So do me a favor and come check out an episode and then bounce around our catalog. We're over 150 episodes so far, so there's plenty of stories for you to discover.

Subscribe to We're Here to Help on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every Monday, and bonus episodes drop on Wednesdays. Hi, I'm Rachel Dillson. And I'm Olivia Allen. And we host the podcast. Broad Ideas. Yes, that's now on HeadGum. On our show, we chat with people like Brittany Snow, Lucy Hale,

Kristen Bell, Margaret Cho, Jake Johnson, and so much more. And we talk about all the things you would talk about with your best friend. Like your periods. And mental illness. And the food you ate for lunch. Most importantly. Listen to Broad Ideas on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or wherever you listen to your podcasts.