Hollywood Handbook - Kulap Vilaysack, Our Gift Giving Friend

Episode Date: December 14, 2021

Sean and KULAP VILAYSACK buy a few holiday gifts for their co-hosts. Make sure to check out her podcast Add to Cart and watch the video of this episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. So Hayes calls me for like the, you know, gazillionth time in like an hour. And he's, and I answered the phone and I could hear in his voice, he's pressed. Like he is pressed. And I'm going i'm going hey what's going on like what's this really about you keep calling me with these little like questions and finally he spits it out and he goes hey is the transformers real oh which you've been holding it in this again right so i go i go no haze they're not real and he goes really and i was like yes really and he goes okay because the news said that omnicron is coming to get me oh which bless and i can see it all then, right? Like, oh, this is why this dude is pressed.

Like, I immediately know he thinks that Omnicron is one of the Decepticons. Yeah. Which would make sense in a way. I mean, Megatron is their leader, and it does sound like that. And so this guy, and as I'm working back, I go, this guy hasn't slept in a week because every time he starts to drift off, he sees an evil transforming truck named Omnicron driving through his bedroom wall and beating him up, kicking in effect, his little happy meal ass all up and down main street for the whole world to see. And, and at this point I stopped being mad because you

do, sometimes you get frustrated and you, I'm saying you, I should, I should say me. I should say I, because I don't want to put this. It's my journey. I don't want to endow you with this, but I do forget to take a step back and check in on what Hayes's journey has been. This guy's fucking terrified. Wow.

That Omnicron is going to kick his happy meal up and down main street. And that's his experience. And we shouldn't belittle it. And the fact that it's stupid and for babies should not in any way diminish the very real feelings

that he has. Yes. Just like I'm not going to diminish you for saying Omicron when it's not Omicron. I'm not going to diminish you for saying Omnicron when it's not Omnicron. I'm saying what Hayes said to me. Okay. Okay. Okay.

I just wasn't sure. And I didn't want you to. Yeah. Okay. Okay. That's good to know. That's good to know. You know, and at the time, to me, it did not feel constructive.

Okay, I get it. To correct him. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Because I was coming from a place of love. Understood. Leading with empathy. Got it.

Okay? Mm-hmm. I was, have you seen Ted Lasso? Yeah, it's a hard comedy. Okay. I was, have you seen Ted Lasso? Um, yeah, it's a hard comedy. Ted Lasso says some stuff about kindness that we would do well to keep in mind. Um,

the, the, the title character or the other characters, I guess, which one should I zero in on in terms of trying to find quotes online? If a character is talking. So for me,

number one is going to be Ted. Okay. If Ted said it, there's a reason. Coach Beard. Number two is Coach Beard. Coach Beard for me. Man,

sometimes, and I, and people are going to be upset. Sometimes can be even more wise than Ted. Ah, because he chooses his words very carefully. It's so powerful sometimes to not speak. And I've been doing this on the podcast. I don't talk very much on the podcast anymore because that is surprising. Is it? I want it to have an impact when I, when I really decide

to unload. And so really for the most part, I've been laying back in the cut and just letting the show come to me. Um, I had a roommate who I really watched guys gravitate towards her. And when she was around guys, she would speak softly so that they would lean in. Come in closer. Come in closer. Can hear her. She would speak softly, but she would say the most vile, disgusting filth you've ever heard. And it was some of this.

It was come here, but stand back oh wow i i know that technique but that's not one that ted uses but anyway for me it's ted lasso it's beard and then i don't know if there's anyone else on the show oh there there definitely are more it's an ensemble i think i think two other people won Emmy Awards, in fact. I haven't seen all of it. Oh. But those are the main. I've really only seen. I guess there's other people on the plane.

I've only watched the first scene where they're on the plane flying to France. Oh, no, England. I want to say France. You just want me to watch that scene to learn from that? If you want. I mean, I try not to like. Force anything on anyone, but what happened was it was a great opportunity. For me, hearing that Hayes was so upset and so scared, I said, hey, pal, why don't you take the day off tomorrow?

We don't have to do an episode. Oh, wow. And the reason for that is I knew that I was bringing in the expert. Oh, wow. Oh, me. Oh, I just assumed I was filling in for Hayes like I normally do. No, no, no. You're filling in Hayes' stocking for Hayes because what we're going to do, and Kevin, if you want to make a note, I just started recording.

My recorder was armed and I was getting the bar, but I was not actually recording. Okay. So if you want to make a note of that. Recording six minutes in got it so so i'm gonna write down i'm gonna write it down thank you i'm also gonna write it down just for my diary if everybody wants to write down started recording and i had hit the button and i thought i hit it again and what did that and what it turned out but the truth is i didn't want hayes here because i want to really he's had a tough year i want to really blow him away this holiday season okay and i need to buy him something

that's gonna make him forget about some of the bullshit. And who better? And I wanted to talk to you anyway, Kulop, because... Do we have to bury another hatchet? I thought we were over it. You've started another podcast. We mended our fences. We mended when you wouldn't let me into the theater. When you refused to let me into the UCB theater?

When I was doing my job. Following directions. I don't know if it matters, but I'm like a teacher and a performer at the theater, and you said it doesn't matter. At any rate, you've started another podcast, and it's so interesting to me. I'm still doing the first one I did.

Oh, no, the second one. But really, the first one i did oh no the second one but but the really the first one i did was fake but you're you're a man of commitment you're a man of your word you do who charted i did it yes you see the mountaintop see naples then die Italians used to say because there's nothing left to see okay and you do that and you hang it up and you say

I've done that I put that behind me but the siren song of the podcast yes it keeps summoning us back and here I am what is it that's so irresistible about this Yes. It keeps summoning us back. And here I am. What is it that's so irresistible about this beautiful game? For connection, of speaking unfettered by many people,

of just having to be on social media to promote it. It is truly alluring. It is, I mean, only people who know, know, Sean. It's hard to describe, isn't it? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. But all the same, I'm asking you to. Okay. Okay, fair, fair. Talk about your new podcast i will i will tell you what is that what's going on there i i i'm doing a new podcast with suchin pak of mtv fame you

might recall her from your youth uh tv but from m music television. She did the news. She did TRL. She was the voice of Cribs. Did you know that? So when we're going to see what's in Ludacris'

refrigerator, Sue Chin is telling us. That's right. Mariah Carey in her bathtub. When we go to TJ Lavin's Vegas compound and he jokingly says that his girlfriend is Jennifer Love Hewitt. And he says she's usually asleep in the bed here. When we see these things. We hear Suchin.

Suchin. And now we hear Soojin. On Add to Cart. On the show, on Add to Cart. On the Lemonada Network. It's a weekly show. Add to Shopping Cart. Yeah. But it's not just, Sean, it's not just objects.

It's also, it could be ideas. And not only is it adding to cart but sometimes i gotta remove things from cart sean i gotta get things out maybe i gotta remove people from cart sean it's that is lifting a weight off huh when you finally decide to remove people from cart and this is just an example if chef kevin if i was able to go over next to the little number of chef kevin's in my cart and edit the number from one to zero and refresh the page and his zoom square would yeah think about how much relief you would feel is that is that i would feel or or is that how you would feel

you know i've done it again haven't i yeah yeah i've said you and it wasn't fair it wasn't for me it was for you cool off was the first one to hit plus one on chef kevin actually fun little fact well she knows if you don't give kevin a plus one he's going to be hitting on anything that walks okay so maybe this guy shows up with some responsibility on his arm so that was a bit of so that's that's me being a good manager and being proactive that's right um but so you're taking things out of the cart you're adding them to the shopping cart yeah you're it's not just objects and it's a way an example of like the weirdest for i listen to the show but for people who don't what's like the weirdest craziest thing that's ever like been in the car oh i mean you're an avid listener

clearly so obviously we'll say it together yeah right yeah here it comes on three you want to do it yeah on three okay yeah one two three and i just start recording now fuck pillow it's porno stuff i was gonna say it was probably some porno stuff from one of the episodes where we were talking about that yeah the dame pillow that's right and so yeah explain this a little bit so you fuck the pillow the pillow's involved in it's part of it in amorous play yes but it's huge yeah no sean it's not huge small it's small it's like a little wedge. It's a little blue wedge. And if you're done using it for fucking, you could put your laptop on it and just give your wrist a little break

as you're typing in bed. Yeah. But it's just somewhere for me to put my chin. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Do you want me to send you a link? I actually think I have a code.

Add to cart. I don't know. 10% off. Sometimes my mom checks my email and stuff. That's weird, Sean. You're an adult. You know aphorisms that see Naples then die. Why does your mom have access to your email? She taught me the aphorism

not quite fair to borrow from my email after that here i've been able to use it on a show okay it was but yeah i just can't get the one aphorism there was another one but it was like more of a limerick and honestly honestly, I'd rather not say it. It's fallen out of fashion. But I just brought up Fuck Pillow. Is that, wouldn't that be on theme? Yeah, this one was like. Okay.

I don't know. It felt like it had like implications that I just don't really want to get into. I understand. I understand. You're Irish though, right? Good Clements. Yeah. Yeah, I am. And understand. You're Irish though, right? Good Clements. Yeah. Yeah, I am. And do you have a family tartan?

I don't know the one for my last name. I know my mom's family is the O'Briens. So that's got that like why, you know? Oh, that's cool. Yeah. I think that's really cool yeah so that is cool um do you uh are you a tartan enthusiast i i enjoy a plaid add to cart tartans add to cart plaids are add to cart the irish uh people at the carton yeah i'm yeah my name is scott's irish which i you know i don't even know what that is really really it's like some weird other thing yeah well before we get into

and so obviously your podcast partner is not here either and would you like to kind of yeah uh the two of us perhaps could collaborate on finding a gift maybe that works for both of them i mean they're never going to compare notes they don't know each other yeah like why find something good and they're kind of the same those two yeah i mean right away height Oh, that reminds me, actually, Kevin. Can you put in me saying Omnicron? Yeah. So Scotch-Irish or Scots-Irish Americans are descendants of Ulster Protestants who immigrated from Ulster in Northern Ireland to America

and whose ancestors had originally migrated mainly from the Scottish lowlands. Interesting stuff, and this will make for a good piece of the podcast. This will be a good zone for everyone. Yeah, and I think this is cool. People have been with you for years, and now they know a little more about Sean.

Yeah, and now they have, and some of them probably share a little more about Sean. Yeah. And now they have like, and some of them probably share a similar background. Oh, wow. I think we do have some white listeners and I wouldn't be shocked if they go, hey, that's like me. What about in the new year? in the new year, you, Hayes, Chef Kevin, all of your listeners do a 23andMe or an Ancestry.com

and see if you guys are related. Wouldn't that be interesting? It does sound interesting. I don't have enough spit. Oh, I forgot. I forgot.

What is your condition Oh, I forgot. I forgot. What is your condition again? I forget. I just... Thirsty. Dried. Thirsty. Dried and thirsty.

Yeah, thirsty or just parched. Yeah, I'm thirsty as hell. I started out being really thirsty online and then it turned into me being really thirsty in real life. Oh, wow. Okay. I'm not able to do the test. You're a cautionary tale then. Yeah, if you comment

stunning on too many women's photos, your saliva glands just shrivel up and close. And no amount of water that you drink can refill them those stores those wells are dried i can't feel the water at all i mean i guess it's good for other parts of my body but in terms of my mouth like it's yeah it's totally you know i i think you feel like

between one and two times i ran into you at Equinox, the gym, and I just do not sweat anymore. I know you're a man of machines. I'm looking behind you like this. I know you like lift weights. I've got a machine. And this is how, and this is interesting because not everyone talks about my exercise machine in the Zoom background.

But someone who wanted to talk about it a lot was mr scott ocherman and he really wanted to talk about the machine yeah and and did you guys come to something interesting uh yeah i guess the interesting thing for me was he was really nasty about it but sean is that was that a surprise you know better than me no sean you know him pretty well right like you if like a tiger right that's true tiger yeah tiger has to act like a tiger you know, a tiger is going to act like a tiger. You know what Scott is. And you invited him in. That's on you.

And I guess I am victim blaming and I'm going to get a lot of shit for this. I know. I know it. What should I do next time for him? Do I just... I feel like if I hang a shower curtain or something in front

of it that's just gonna be a whole new issue that he has with the background yeah maybe if you're on it that way he can't see you he can't see it so if you're on it right that's cool but again like i don't make spit so like my mouth already is pretty dry when I'm doing this, and if I start perspiring and all that, it's going to be a lot of like... No matter what, I become a target. Yeah, that's really tough for podcasting. It's just all like I just am opening up all these avenues

for him to get in there with his stiletto blade. I don't even feel it enter i just look down and suddenly i'm gut struck and bleeding yeah harikari style why is that where's whose blood is this on my hand your own it's your own well um okay so you don't want to do the 23 and me is that a good gift for hayes does he want to know if he's related to any sex criminals or you know like that is also not only can you know about your heritage but you can know about your family he's expressed some discomfort with um being located by his children um i guess there was a period of time where hayes was donating a lot of semen oh like a lot a lot times were tough they were lean and he had to do what he had told me he would did not accept a dime

but that he had different like fake because there's i think there's a limit to how much you're allowed to do and he he had like different passports and identities made up so that he just for this yeah wow so it was a pure donation yes it was it was entirely charitable from my understanding what he had said to me about it was hey i'm gonna be doing that anyway somebody ought to get something out of it waste not want not you don't have some biblical verses that he would quote to me about it i was wondering is there any ego involved is there any like let me just spread it out i don't know i mean you then you would think he would probably want to see the kind of fruits of his labor but what he's saying is he's a little bit against 23andme because he's afraid that they're going to sniff him out. Because he's a Johnny Appleseed. I get it.

And get a piece of what he's got going on. Oh, right. Yeah. That's what my birth dad was worried about too. So, okay. I can relate in a way that has not painful at all. Okay. So, it's obviously

good that I brought this up. It's proven to be a rich Avenue for comedy. And I gotta say, I'm feeling as comfortable as ever podcasting. You're, you're, I, this is,

we are, we are dear friends who text at least once a year, if not less. And I think it's good. Like, I'm so, this is how we're catching up. And I am happy to help and find Hayes. And you're going to help me find Sujin, the perfect gift. Hollywood Handbook.

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might be good for hayes so 23 and me also like i think if i sent it to him hayes would go i gotta take a test yeah i get it like to him i think unless you give him an object he can hold in his hand, it's not a good gift. Even something experiential like shoot the freak at Coney Island. Had you gifted that before? And that was bad because I didn't. You've heard of people doing that you know it was just on one of these lists of like great gifts oh my god it was great it was grandma i bet it was goop it was a goop great gifts for grandma thing uh-huh and it was this game where you shoot paintballs at somebody in a suit. And I thought like, well, parts of this, I think, are very much in keeping with like

Hayes and his philosophies. But it also feels to him, I think, like you're giving him homework. So I've got some more like objects that we could do. And maybe you could help me go over them. We could talk about some of the strengths and weaknesses. Okay. do and maybe you could help me go over them we could talk about some of the strengths and weaknesses okay what i'm looking at is a personalized 11 and a half inch dark assassin medieval dagger sword fantasy steel blade with a scabbard sheath it's a gift for him a boyfriend a husband and again it's custom engraved for only 59.99 It's a bestseller on Etsy. For him, boyfriend, husband, custom engraved.

Now, I have two problems with this. Okay. Can't it just be for him because we're friends? And number two, only guys like personalized 11.5-inch Dark Assassin Medieval Dagger Sword Fantasy Steel Blades scabbard sheath gifts. Not in 2021 into 2022 people get modern. So this thing's it's it's on sale.

We're saving 20 bucks. So in a way, we're losing money if we don't buy it. Oh, whether it's the gift or not, we're going to need to. oh whether it's the gift or not we're gonna need to now i do feel this is what something my mom told me that it's not good to gift knives because it it you could possibly be using the tool to sever a relationship a symbolic severing so i just want i just gonna put that out there think about it what if you want to do that okay okay taking that in taking it in what you're saying i'm i'm seeing your words and i'm also seeing around your words sean now the inscription on this one says lord brian i i personally don't see any reason to change that oh you you don't want it personalized well you want it's like but

isn't that like hey here's a picture frame keep that fake family in the picture frame please so if you read the description of the item it says that the text says lord byron but when you look at the blade it pretty clearly says lord brian okay which i don't know where the miscommunication happened but i i think hayes would prefer this one especially because when we talk about when he takes the um the one test that he does like to take which is which family guy character are you he said that no matter what answers he puts in he gets brian oh wow and then he's tried every combination and that he gets brian okay so then he would uh receive the blade ceremoniously of course you wouldn't just wrap it you would bestow it upon him there would be heralds um and he would pull it out and he'd see

lord brian and he'd automatically know this is wow this is personalized for me yeah okay i'm lord brian okay okay so this is a definite option for me this is a okay let's put this in the maybe pile i want to see what else you've i want to see your selects for suchin suchin interesting oh wait sorry could this be for her? Maybe. And what I'm looking at now also personalized is a bat, twin blade, knife, pocket knives, men, man, husband, dad, boyfriend, gift for him, comics, cosplay, dark black, custom and gray for $69.99. So yeah. This is. Yeah. So yeah. This is, yeah, this is, wow. It's the holiday season.

Everyone's aware. Batman Returns is a Christmas movie. It's canon, people. If there's a tree and there are lights on the tree, it's canon. You know, in terms of the two, I think, figures that do influence Hayes the most, it's probably Brian from Family Guy and the Batman dude. Of the same cloth.

I get it. Yeah. the same cloth i get it yeah um because he's always talking about kicking people's asses uh and how he doesn't even need a gun because he's so good at kicking ass and he's obviously really into his car he has you've seen his his car lately oh i haven't seen it what is it it's a black honda civic oh but he calls it he calls it the bat mobile but i think he means batmobile i i know he reads the comics i don't think he's ever heard anyone it's kind of an omnicron situation i don't think he's heard he would say it aloud i get it the bat mobile um but it's is it pretty sweet does it have a spoiler there's soup in there there's soup in there um there's some of the cans are empty uh some of them don't have labels but

it's definitely there's a i can't believe you guessed that there is a ton of soup in the car it's probably i would guess just from sight like a 1991 uh kind of vintage okay i'm sorry sean i gotta swing back to the soup is it like in a bunch of kettles is he serving soup from the back seat it's not in any one specific

container he's pretty versatile in terms of how he's storing the soup there's some that looks to be homemade there's some like soup cocktails where he's been telling me he's been experimenting with like mixing like a minestrone and a chicken noodle. Oh, that's better. That's better than an Italian wedding soup and like some di serono.

OK, I thought you meant on the rocks. Oh, dear. I thought you meant like, oh, he's doing new England clam chowder with vodka. I thought that's what she meant. So that's ridiculous. Yeah, so the second one I said was more like that. Yeah, but then we're just adding ice to it. But there's unopened cans, there's open cans,

there's Tupperwares, there's underwears. I mean, there's a lot of different stuff that's holding soup. So it is definitely a souped up uh uh civvy i just with that said i just i i like the other knife better than this better than this this it's a little on the nose it's a little on the nose and honestly if he wanted this he would have bought this for himself and that that can be a secret to gift shopping huh is getting something that someone would like will want but that they wouldn't necessarily purchase on their own that's what makes it hard that's why i'm hard to shop for

and this and this one's a little more expensive yeah yeah 10 bucks i don't mind saving. You know what I mean? I'm saving more doing the other one. Yeah. And it says Bruce on it. I can't really see my way to getting him a knife that says Bruce. But again, you could have his name be on it. It doesn't have to. You don't have to stick with Bruce.

So it's a Bruce Hayes. Okay. Yeah, I could say that. Now this next one I think is probably going to be better. You're talking about the seller. Five stars, by the way. Leather Bond 1 is selling real genuine cowhide leather flogger, is selling real genuine cowhide leather flogger,

nine braided falls, heavy roses, and steel studs, cat o' nine tails. So this is a flogger. At the very end of it, there are steel studs. You can't see them because they're covered by rose petals. This is truly a thorny situation. So here's part of why I love this one for Hayes and probably for you to give to Suchan as well. Okay.

You made that great point that giving someone a blade can be symbolically severing the relationship, which I'm not ready to do yet. Okay. But the relationship has been very, very naughty. And perhaps, although it doesn't deserve to be severed, it is a relationship that needs something of a spanking. Okay, sorry. I was drinking something and it got caught in my throat. I don't have that problem. Right, you're dry.

You're thirsty. Well, I drink it. You're medically thirsty. It actually gets absorbed into my tongue and just kind of like enters my body that way. That's fascinating. It's fine. Have scientists studied you?

If I take a really big sip of Gatorade, my tongue gets too big for my mouth. Oh my God, I didn't think about that. I'm sorry. I was making light of it no honestly it's like we all joke around about this stuff i accidentally invoked uh an insanely traumatic experience you had making a documentary about you know uh reuniting with your birth father and then um you now have said something about my my tongue yeah yeah well maybe

maybe so i who's to say on the scale like who's more wrong well i would offer that maybe i should add to cart this real genuine cowhide leather flogger nine braided falls heavy rose and steel studs cat on nine tails for myself i mean because maybe i need to self-flagellate some self-flagellation yeah yeah like the scary monk in the da vinci code that is exactly what i was thinking isn't that what we picture isn't that what we picture when we talk So, congratulations. An albino monk. It's the scary monk. Yes, Opus Dei. And he would, and boy, he dished it out, but he certainly took it as well from himself

because he was giving himself a big, nice whack. Yeah, a true Virgo. Anyways, so, yeah, this is interesting. It's, I don't know. What do you, how do you wrap it what do you say after they open it can you scroll down a little bit on the description because maybe we'll get more clues

here okay no artificial and no split leather thank you rust free steel studs are attached carefully okay nine inches long handle real leather braiding uh it's a fully balanced flogger that's probably what i lead with when they open it you just scream fully balanced

fully balanced flogger okay okay i say wait hold on 100 grams totally handmade in pakistan totally totally oh totally yeah i mean because if i know hayes can nobody go was this handmade in pakistan and i'll go dude totally totally totally it's 400 grams you have to subtract of course the 21 grams which is your soul leaving your body we all experience it at death yeah yeah it's coming for us no it is good that they know it in parentheses it is heavy and not a toy uh so i did you know i glanced as you were speaking over at some of the reviews i haven't seen any of these when i first saw present and 14 years i got really nervous i understand that i got really but it actually was an anniversary present for this person's wife of 14 years uh and she was

so excited and happy she had her girlfriend bend over right there on the spot and take a lashing um so that's also something i might say a sight to behold i'm uh-huh um oh wow god you know no no shade yes okay and i i am now the I am now the bedroom hero says one okay that sounds appealing rather than the bedroom zero yeah but Sean I felt

like you were a little prudish when I brought up the sex pillow I just didn't understand it how am I gonna how am i gonna flock myself with a pillow it's so soft okay now i understand context okay okay i get it i get it i get it my mom sees that in my email and she's like i didn't raise him

nice pillow coward I didn't raise him that way. Nice pillow, coward. That's not the Scott Irish way. I hope that's a gift for Hayes. If you're using it, I'm very disappointed. Okay, okay. What other items? Should we skip to the last one? skip to also guys i'm so sorry but naomi scott's gonna be here in like 10 can we end in five give her my love i know i will

i gotta tell her talk about getting rad okay hold on i just want to... The last item was $39.99, $29.99? Uh-huh. Okay. So I thought we were trending that way. The first item... Okay. So what I'm looking at right now... This is a save mode.

This is if I really need to save this thing with Haze, which I can't get a clear read on it yet, how much work I need to do, what I'm owed you know but this is from the site tanks a lot tank driving experiences it's for us it's a little nod to our first podcast we did this tanks but no tank segment that people really liked liked one person it was me um but uh so this is a tank now i said he is pretty proud of his civic but i i happen to know that it doesn't run and i whenever i go to his place or anything he'll be like oh i just got back from the fastest drive i'll say like oh that's that's awesome i'll go oh i was screaming man

it was awesome and i go okay and i think part of it is that it is there is soup in the gas tank oh that uh did you put it there no no it just as far as i know it was there i think it actually seeped in from just so much had been like poured on the seats and stuff that it kind of got into the gears. Oh, my goodness. Maybe Sean, we're in the wrong area of gifting for Hayes. But isn't this the right area? Because this is now something that he can drive. This is a CVRT Spartan Vinno SPA 17 31,000 plus VAT.

So this is a tank. This is a very tidy XRAF Royal Air Force bomb disposal vehicle. Drives really well, smooth through the gears, fitted with the later Cummings turbo diesel, bags of power on this baby. And it's a real pleasure to cruise in. Now, it does have 2000 miles on the old clock, which less than less than Sean.

Yeah, less than. But I called the guy and it seems like by saying less than it's one less than. OK, so by the time I get it home and give it to haze i'm gonna have to wait this puppy's got 2 000 miles no no no no no my under this is these are tank driving experiences these this isn't for sale is it uh my my idea is that i buy the experience and then i just keep on driving until i get to haze's house and And I can't imagine who's going to stop me. I'm in a fucking tank. Sean, I don't know.

I, I don't want to be negative. I just feel like you could get in a lot of trouble. You're thinking more cat of nine tails with the roses. Ah, geez. I thought you were going to like this one more. I,

uh, I, I'm worried that like LAP lapd is gonna come down on you the force what are they gonna do to me they're gonna bring out their tank okay uh that's not fair come on and they have more than just a tank they've like their helicopters they've got you know what i mean like i just feel like it's more trouble than it's worth and like and then in the end he still has a souped up car and you're in jail so what were you gonna say when i uh so rudely interrupted you that we were going in the wrong direction gift wise like

what is your idea well i more. I don't think he needs it. Well, if you were going to give him a tank, then why don't you just like you're doing really well. Why don't you just buy him like a nice car that doesn't have soup in it? You think I'm doing really well? Yeah, like look at your haircut. Like if you weren't doing well well you wouldn't not only just cut from the sides you would have taken a little bit off the top but you've kept it long because that's your bde coming through your head big depression energy yeah and you know it's like

all you know jokes aside about a Aquaman making fun of your machine, but that machine behind you ain't cheap. No, it's true. You didn't buy it used, did you? It was new. I mean, I got the most basic model. There were two more expensive ones, but I don't need all those bells and whistles.

Yeah, yeah. So just thinking. Hearing you say that I'm doing really well actually like uh it kind of means a lot even though it's stupid i guess um so like do you think i did a really good job with the episode like what do you think you're gonna buy for su-chin we didn't get to look at the loki knives but does she like Loki? Like the character, the Norse God, Loki, the God of mischief.

I mean, I'm Loki obsessed. It's never come up. I mean, Oh, what better way to bring it up? Loki daggers from the Disney plus series. It's a replica,

you know, for cosplay TV show. It's 3d printed. Oh dear. TVA versions, Marvel prop, Syl show. It's 3D printed. Oh, dear. TVA versions. Marvel prop. Sylvie, you recall. Spoiler if you don't.

Haven't seen it. I think one thing you could get or if you don't want to get these blades is a shirt that says, are you a Hiddlestan? I'm low-key obsessed. Wait. Do you guys have merch? do you guys have a teespring that's so good maybe maybe that's how you raise money to get haze in 1992 civic is that you sell

those t-shirts and it benefits haze i don't 92 Civic. I mean, he would be embarrassed to drive something like that. He doesn't give a fuck about status. I think he'd feel that it's pretty gauche. Too bougie? Yeah. So, okay. What about a 90? Chewgy.

What about a 90 Civic? Again, no soup in it. No soup in it. Of course it's not going to have soup in it no of course it's not gonna have soup in it when i buy it no stop adding soup in his car i mean i put a little bit but only because it was so clearly of interest to him but that's enabling you want to keep soup out of hayes's car this you're the one who told me that you know a tiger is gonna do what it does like you don't put raw meat in front of a tiger you don't put a car in front of haze unless you want that thing to get soup up okay okay okay okay i think of all of the things that we've looked at, I think it is the roses.

It's the rose flogger. It's totally made in Pakistan. We always want to support BIPOC. And we want to be mindful of where we buy things. And it's not coming from a big box store or Amazon. And roses are beautiful. And in this case, painful. Okay, Kevin.

Add it to shopping cart. Now, my podcast is Add to Cart, just so people understand. It's Add to Cart. With Tuchin, Pac, and Kulop. Add. Add to cart. Not at to cart not at to cart add to cart that's right not two carts though it's one cart it's the number two

and it's and it is a shopping cart i just think people are gonna get confused the toothpaste out of the tube a little bit in terms of like your name for it but I do think so that they know what they're getting like it's like it's a shopping cart okay bye

Hollywood handbook this week on the Patreon Carl and Ahsan purchase an NBA top shot starter pack the Patreon, Carl and Ahsan purchase an NBA Top Shot Starter Pack, the boys discuss succession, and the Flager Ones are mostly talking all things basketball. Check out these bonus podcasts and videos of the full episodes, including today's with Kulop at patreon.com slash theflagerones.

Hollywood Handbook. That was a HeadGum Podcast.