Hollywood Handbook - Kulap Vilaysack, Our Good News Friend

Episode Date: November 4, 2025

The Boys have finally acquired the rights to Some Good News and prepare KULAP VILAYSACK for the hosting gig of a lifetime.Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Extra value meals are back. That means 10 tender juicy McNuggets and medium fries and a drink are just $8. Only at McDonald's. For limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. No drama today? No, well, yeah, no drama today.

I'll say, Kevin, God bless him, he books, he books these guests on the show. 90% of the time he goes like, it'll be, and he'll be like, uh, Gorgon Giamdabor can do 9 a.m. next Wednesday and I'll be like, okay. And I like Gorgon Giaendabor. I, I don't, I don't know what Gorgon Gia, I don't understand why Gorg and Bore is on now. You know, if this were 2002, I think I would be very excited to have Gorgon Gia and Bore on. Hey, the guys from Banana Bone Adventure Zone can actually do this Thursday at 7 p.m.

And I'll be like, okay, I just don't know. Like, yeah, obviously Gorkan Gendabor, I'm a fan of it. But like, a lot of these things, I'm like, great, you're plugged into what's going on. I don't know what it is. And I'm like, I show up at the show just dreading it. A lot of times I cannot find a rhythm. And then we find, we find out it's banana bone adventure zone. It's their like big comeback tour from like something really bad they did.

Yes, of course. No, always. We didn't know about, we're finally getting it going again. Like it seems to have blown over. We can put our heads up above crap. It's like, okay, we didn't want to be a part of that. I didn't know about the first wave. I don't want to be a part of the second wave.

And then every now and the end is rare, but every now and then, I look at the schedule, and it's cool up. And I go, okay, this I know how to do. You know what I do? I see it's cool up. I tent my fingers. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness.

The steeple. And here we are the people. Well, well, well. Here we are. Foster the people. And you do see all the people on podcast now. Mm-hmm, you do see all the people. Yeah.

Have you made, has that been a smooth transition for you both? Seeing all the people? Yeah, and you being seen in this way. Well, our last guest did call us ugly and said that we shouldn't have the camera on and then agreed to do a shared Instagram post, which was very nice. Well, yeah. But it led to a situation where all their fans were just like. Confirming that they do think we are. We are ugly.

It's mostly me, I think, that they're talking about. about because I am the one who responds to him but because they do say this guy they don't acknowledge that they're good this guy this guy well what they say is compared to this guest they say compared to this guest which is nice but then they don't say like this guest is better looking they go compared to him this guy actually is unattractive so so and like is as like which fine obviously I shared the post being like probably get a couple comments saying that were cute. Maybe some of my guys good. And my guys did do that right away.

Okay. But then he shared it to a much larger fan base who only knows him. So then the ratio is off. The ratio's not doing great. Yes. And they're still rolling in. One of our guys crests over the hill carrying a flag. Yeah. But then it's just him. You're

expecting kind of more people. And already behind him. And he's just a flag guy. He's just a flagged flag. Just the flag. One single person. And it's a false flag. And it's a color guard performer and so that's tough he's swinging around but he's not used to doing it walking yeah he keeps tripping himself looking back no one there it's furling and unfurling constantly he looks down at his hands the flag is just gone his hands are bleeding he did they dropped it

splinters and now the other guys have it all of his fingers are pointing the wrong way Oh, no. Does that ever happen to you? No, no, I'm gorgeous. The provocation, though, you just, you. It's also about us not being funny. It's also about us not being funny. Can I say this?

Yes, that's right. Don't forget that part. It is obviously the us being attractive, that part. The us being attractive or not attractive, like, look, this is the debate that has raged on for a long time. So that's fine. But the, but then it goes, does this guy actually? think she's as funny as this guest

I have to tell you I do I do That's why he's here That's why I'm here Because I think he's funnier than the guest too That's why I'm here So anyway that clip has been going around

Who knows who knows when this comes out Maybe the couple people are learning engagement This is a game Let's clear the air And like let's speak facts The boys are both attractive And the boys are both We can't look at ourselves up for this again.

I know what we have to. This is what people get in on. Look, am I getting a little long in the tooth? Yeah, but I've been in the game for a while. We have everybody here. Come on. I've been to the game for a minute. They're letting you stay.

Come on, man. I didn't ask for it to be all video all the time. You know what I asked for? You know what I asked for? If it's going to be a video, can I get a fucking table? He's sitting at a fucking table. Why are they showing? All the leg positioning and this deep couch.

I need the, yeah, I need the Bill Simmons set up. I need the HD cam right here. I don't ever want any kind of profile or any kind of lower torso. None of that. You don't want to, but you're sort of like a Victorian lady showing a little ankle. And maybe that's sort of the tease, right? The little. Just for, and not a.

Not a hair on it. I have the best view in the house. Sorry to all our viewers. Neri a hair. Because you neared it. Yeah, he narried it. Nary a hair. I neared it.

Just for like being in podcast position, this is my big problem with the couch. If I'm really going to be bringing my A game on a podcast, I need the couch to be pushing me forward into a three-point stance. I need the whole back of it pitched so I can roll launch to like a 45 degree angle so that I'm being thrown off the couch. No, you are not very aerodynamic at this time. No. You are leaned all the fuck back. That's sucking. The thing is sucking the fucking life force out of me.

Sucking the fucking. Sucking the fucking life force out of me. Sucking a fucking life force out of me. And not the way I like to have that out of that. I understand. Yes. Yeah. Yes.

That's my life force. So you need. You can have it if you do that. but that's my life force but if you do that you can have it but that doesn't normally but that's actually my life force but if you do that

you get on it but if you do that it's okay well we've covered what Kulap wanted to talk about today now let's get into our stuff I'm sure management has heard your complaints and suggestions

and they'll be bringing in a table of sorts better. You're, oh my gosh, that, that look, it like went right to the domes. They don't even have hands. They don't even have hands soap in the kitchen. I see right through you. I guess I think my hand is a dish. Because there's nothing.

Or, you know what, the philosophy is here? What? If you need to wash your hand, you need to go all the way in the bathroom. Yeah. The bathroom is for washing your hand. while you're in there that makes it worth actually washing your hand

do something to your hand in there don't waste our soap waste our water really get them dirty in there and then you can wash them kind of Los Angeles dust you walked in with get something on there

yeah you guys should print that head gum memo you should expose them there's no paper in the printer here unfortunately oh that is to avoid a devastating memo being circulated

Gosh, the power of the pen, the power of the memo. Memolition, man. Just something I thought of. Memolicious. Something I thought of. I don't think it's anything, but I said it. Can you tell Scott I said that? See if you might like that for anything, for something.

What was the biggest thing that blew? Okay. If that would make you happy, I'll casually bring it up at dinner. I don't know. I mean. During pillow talk that we have before we both go into slumber, that five minutes where we talk about anything and everything. Scott sets a timer on his watch.

All right. This is the marital request, and he has denied me over and over again. He wants to go to sleep immediately. And I just want to unwind a little bit. You want to gab. I want to gab with your girlies. which is Scott at this point you know at a certain point

you're married long enough you are the girlies if you're doing it right you are the girlies Scott is girly pop you are the oh my you are the girlies is merch idea for you guys

it has to be some kind of quote or something Koolop demon hunters God that's so good that's so good Koolop demon hunters It's really good.

Right? It's, wow. Just off, just off the, like, wow. Yeah. Scott wears your hat all of the time. Oh, he's in our street team. Absolutely. That's great. He joins Arden.

Arden wears it all over the place. Tony Hale wears it all over the place. Does Scott remember where it came from? Yes, of course he does. Hodgeman would wear it sometimes. He wears it in Maine. Although I feel like he scrubbed it from his, feed. I went to look at his feed the end of the day and was all

him and a whaler's hat. He went back and script, yeah. Wow, you guys are looking though. You're looking. I'm checking. Okay. I'm checking. I'm not going to do anything about it, but I'm going to know. What was the biggest thing that blew up from at Descartes that got people in the comments

pissed off? Mad? Yeah. Yeah. What were they like, why did I add this to my cart? My cart's too full. I was thinking about your guys' his cart lately and what I have retained from it. What? Don't think about my cart.

Are you still using your retainer? Keep our cart out of your mouth, please. I don't really use it. Speaking of cart in the mouth. I don't use, speaking of a car in my mouth, I don't, I have to resubscribe to my flavor coffee beans. I was going to ask. I haven't been, it's Halloween, it's a really good time for flavored coffee beans.

Of course, yeah. So I might start bringing that back. You know what I just added to my cart yesterday? What? So somebody recently brought over to our house a tin of popcorn, like a caramel corn. Uh-huh, like Chicago style. Chicago style from like Garrett's. Yep.

And we just, every night I would take a little coffee mug and I would dip it into the tin and I would eat my little coffee mug full of caramel corn. And then one day it was gone and I said, I think I got to order a bunch of this. And I just added it to my cart last night. Oh my God. He's is writing it down. Well, because you know what happened? You know what I just remembered? What?

When I went on your show and I promoted nature's flavors and they're... And they sent me a bunch of free stuff because of you. So that's so funny. They reached out to me too and they're like, hey, thank you so much for talking about nature's flavors on the show. We want to send you some free stuff. And you got it. Well, guess what I did? You forgot it?

You simply forgot. But look now. Now. It's happening again. We're talking about it right now. So that's why I looked up to make sure natures flavors.com. Well, I think that you probably... Organic flavors.

What I find a lot of times. is we'll get a little coupon code for something and then by the time I go to use it it's dead. That's, we're so different that way. What's the time? What's the timeline on this coupon code? I know.

I think they tell you. I think it's in the copy. But hurry. Hurry. It's escaping. Why? Why did you build it so it escapes? Yeah, why is it made that way?

Why does it have agency like that? Why can't it just sit still there? When I remember that I want to use. those this like there's so many people using the code that the sequence of like eight digits do you not want me to be thoughtful about my purchase okay i'm just going to get the very first thing i see on the quince website but no i'm sorry i need to kind of first of i know what size i am you don't know what size you are oh is a sensitive it's changing you have to let the tab air rate Oh, you got to let it breathe.

Yes, it has to ferment a little bit. But you guys could also just ask for an updated code, I'm sure. I'm sure Quince would, you know. You don't want to ask? They don't want to hear from me. No, they would love that. No, I disagree. They would love that.

They would love me to ask for a fresh code. You're engaging because you want to use the product. Come, my knees scraping the walk. This stuff looked pretty good. I was getting excited about the order I made, and then, of course, I go to put in the code. Don't work. Ask for a new code.

They don't want to talk to me. They would love that. That's where we disagree. I think they would love to talk to you about you begging for a fresh code. Pulp! Oh, my God. I'm trying to think of any controversial picks. I can't, like, really think of.

of anything, because I don't remember... Just threaded the needle every single time. I think people would get annoyed that I'd be talking about Christmas decorating and... Hip-firing from 3,000 feet away. So, yeah, yeah, that's it. I can't think of anything. Straight through. Don't pay attention, guys. I don't pay attention. What do they call this when you get, like, group in, like, the center. Center mass.

Center mass? Yeah. Three thousand feet. Yeah, hip fire. Six shots. Yeah, at the firing range. Tight grouping center mass. You know when there's like a movie that takes place with an FBI agent in it.

Yeah. One of the conversations will take place. They're both at the firing range. And then they. Yep, and then come back, comes back. And the thing comes all the way back. And you see, oh, center mass. Center mass.

But I avoid them. Mm-hmm. I get the drop on them because my center mass is much lower now. Mm-hmm. Much lower than they're expected. I've had my center mass surgically lowered. So you decide what the center is? Yeah.

It's up to the shooter to decide what the center is? My center mass is at half mass. Some people describe themselves as pear-shaped. Yes, and you describe yourself as. There's like a very specific squash that's pretty much just ornamental. I mean, you're not eating that. An ornamental gourd. Yes.

I hate to give our guests, fans, more ammo, but something called an ugly fruit. And I've sort of designed my center mass in honor of this. Ugly fruit. Very peculiar shaped fruit. And then they shoot. I try to shoot me there. The mass is too far down. I'm hitting too high on the mass.

And I go. I go, well, you hit me with eight or nine bullets, but they all missed my center. Why do, why do both of your, hit me in the head and braid instead? Why do both of your center mass have a stem? Like, why can't it, why does it have to have like a? Well, I don't know.

Why is everyone shooting at me all the time? Why? Then the FBI guys, it is very easy to just kind of pick us out. Yeah. You can, we can just kind of walk us. That's what sucks. Yeah. I'm not very fast because my center mass is.

so low. I'm kind of just waddling around. So it sounds like you guys don't really shoot as much as you are shot at. I'm getting shot. Yeah. I'm getting shot. We were saying that you shoot when you shoot on ad to cart. Yeah, yeah. I shoot hip fire.

Yeah. Because yes, you are, yes, gorge shaped butter, nut squash like and ugly fruited. Gorge. That's what I would be called me. Gorge. Gorge. Gord. Drop dead. Gorge. Gorgias.

Drop dead gorgeous. Drop dead. Another merch idea. Add to cart. So people were mad you were talking about Christmas decorating too much? Early. You still get cinnamon brooms? I haven't in a while from Trader Joe's.

Yeah, that's the main. That was the first time I became aware of the cinnamon broom was via you. That's not true. What? From like who charted back in the day? I think, yeah. Oh, wow. Some kind of old, some long ago podcast.

Maybe before I was even doing them, just me listening. I'm like, oh, broom, I smell like cinnamon. I like cinnamon. Why does it have to be a broom exactly? Is that like an old European thing, like a old, like traditional thing maybe? I don't know. That's your idea. It wasn't my idea.

It was a product that I purchased. I know, but like do your research. Oh, my God. Learn the history of the product. Here comes the heat. I'll tell you why it asked me. So she has something to ride around on. Wow, because you're trying to defame me being a witch.

I guess the sentiment challenge is learning even one single thing about a civic group. And somebody just failed before you just start throwing money at them. You literally know not even a single thing about the history. You read room on the broom? Yeah. That's good, huh? It's good. You just got it?

Just got it. It was a gift. Gifted. I should have added it to card earlier. you're your room on the broom yeah you open that oh absolutely Kevin Kevin

I'm mad to get to the list that's in the that's in the gruffalo family you know about the gruffalo I do but I have this is my first experience with the gruffalo family my mom has this

yeah there's a fox as well there's a fox and the gruffalo no there's a different he's missing his socks there's the same team same creative team the team behind gruffalo also did

There's a fox. Yeah, got it. There's a fox. Cinnamon Challenge. Hollywood Handbook. Rocket money, it's so funny. We have these words in front of us all the time about something that we're doing an advertisement for. I guess, yeah, yeah.

But when you step back and think, like, rocket money is a. personal finance app when you actually like and they did that process that information somebody made that so there was and someone had to come up with that there was nothing right

there was that people were just doing their finances there were all these other apps angry birds and then one day some crazy motherfucker who by the way if they said to me they were going to do this I would have said

don't you're out of your mind right hey maybe lay off the the funny stuff yeah maybe yeah take it easy with some of the stuff you're do you're hitting that's funny and he said well wait and see just you wait and see oh and not only was it a personal finance app it helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions and it monitors your spending and it helps you lower your bills so you can grow your savings one two it can't possibly do more than that oh three it's just like wonder is everywhere I feel like a damn loser there's so much magic in the world cathedral's everywhere for those with eyes to see we always say when we look at these ad copy uh sort of

paragraphs. And so it wasn't that long ago that we would have been saying like, what is that? We're living in a world where we'd be like, what's app? It's so fast. Time's condensing. It's flattening out because I think, yeah, I would have said what's an app. Then I would have, at one point I would have said, oh, you're talking about Angry Birds, you know, and then all the way around to like, now Rocket Money is this personal finance app that helps you cancel on one of subscriptions and monitors your spending. And we get to talk about this. I mean, it's just like, grows your Savings, yeah. Just the amount of magic there isn't just the every day.

Everybody complains. Yeah. Everybody complains all the time as if there's not rocket money. I show you all your expenses in one place. Well, the dashboard, the dashboards is like, the dashboards. You forgot about them and it showed them to you. The dashboard is insane. It lays out your total financial picture.

Bill due dates, pay days. Same thing, kind of. But it's easy to digest the way they have it. just it's really it makes me feel like a complete fucking loser and I see a cynic like Kevin and I feel

I just feel so much pity for someone like that it was invested so much in refusing to see how special only accumulate subscriptions well they save their users over two and a half billion dollars

with a B including over 800 $180 million with an M with an M and canceled subscriptions alone they're 10 million with an M members with an M save up to $740 a year with a Y yeah yeah when they use all of the apps premium features cancel your unwanted subscriptions to reach your financial goals faster with rocket money go to rocketmoney.com slash the boys today that's rocketmoney.com slash the boys rocketmoney dot com slash the boys just the existence of a website is so incredible credible. Butcher box delivers over 100 premium protein choices straight to your door at once,

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food but chicken nuggets to me is fancy chicken nuggets i don't know if that's their intention took a level of like science and innovation sophistication it's been it has been crafted from something that didn't exist in nature and human uh ingenuity actually created a food that you could eat with your fingers that you could dip that's crispy and tender and juicy and delicious. Flé mignon is nice and their version of it is really good

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Can I tell you another thing we learned about engagement in our biggest clip? Yeah. In recent weeks. Yes. I was telling a story from, history you wouldn't be interested why do you assume that

because if you I mean you know one single thing about the cinnamon yeah you would just done a little research and I was talking about Arizona and I pronounced how do you pronounce the city T-E M-P-E

Tempe here we go wow we got another to the moon fire up there we go we are going to get very famous now fuck is that I don't What do you, how do you say it?

I said, it's tempi. I think I said Tempe too to bait them. Mm-hmm. Because I think they were like, they were like, don't pronounce it the kind of Mexican way. I think that's kind of what they were. Mm-hmm. So mad about it. They were like, it's tempi.

Tempe. That's, okay. Okay. Anyway, 600,000 comments. 600,000 mice with their neck broken, lured right into Hayes's cheese trap. That's how. you do it I and then the algorithm gets spinning everyone comments yeah and you you're you're fucking a y it doesn't respect language but I think I said it because we were

talking about tempe the the type of bean curd meat replacement product and I think I got thrown not my tempe not my tempe right that's nice that's nice that's really nice J.K. Simmons doing an ad for like veggie grill. Now? He's doing it now?

Could be good. Okay. No, I don't think they can get him. I saw. Nice guy, great actor. He'll basically, you can fit into his schedule. He'll do it.

So, DeAngelo died. Very sad. and the clips were going around of DeAngelo performing and everyone was like watch DeAngel on SNL. He was so amazing and it begins with J.K. Simmons

like, ladies and gentlemen, Diagello. And I was like oh, I feel like I know the exact week that DiAngelo was on SNL. You know what I mean? I didn't have to guess at all. What era was this? The angel had such a long career.

What era of? Jake Hayes. Yeah, exactly. Which time that he hosted was this? This is such a beautiful and loving tribute, Hayes. It was just all the information I needed. I mean, he could. DeAngelo was, like, performing a long time that he could have been on there.

Oh, yeah. And you might ask the question. Yeah, but you can pinpoint playing. And certain hosts, you'd be like, well, like the combination of these, these two. I have no idea. Yeah, I'm at sea. But J.K. Sibbiz, you kind of know what. It grounds you.

Yes, that's right. It anchors you in history. Into the timeline. But you wouldn't be understood. Because I don't like history because of a cinnamon broom. Because of a cinnamon broom that you say I told you about. Cool up. You've established, you love gifts and receiving things.

I prefer giving. Your love language is gift giving. Yes, I like to give gifts Don't remember receiving anything but God bless you Guess we're really close friends Well it's time For us to give you something

Oh no, I'm scared You've been on the show six times Is that true? Yeah Been a while, it took a minute to get number six Speaking of SNL Yeah You're in the six timer club

Do I get a beautiful jacket Do I get A certificate? It's more of a shacket. Okay, shirt jacket, I like that, like a chore. No, it's a, sorry.

A shackle in this case is a shawl jacket. It's a shackled jacket. Put you in a fucking rubber room. Oh, my God. Because you're insane. We got somebody for you, cool up. So, add to Cardazon, hiatus. Yes, yes.

we have something to give you that we added to our cart and secured, which is the rights to some good news that John Crosinski show that he was doing during COVID. Remember when there was basically, you know, no good news? You couldn't find it. And it was like, can anybody collect? Goodness. Two to three heartwarming stories. And he sold, didn't he sell that really, really high?

and so did you guys buy it really, really low? It came down a little bit, yes. We were able to get it, yeah, at a bit of a discount. We were watching, as soon as it hit our, as soon as it like crossed the line that we'd set. Yeah, because you used are plugged in. Oh, just yesterday. Yesterday we were able to secure it.

Yeah. Which is so good for us. Of course, we can't host it right now. Okay. that was part of the contract a demand they were willing to sell it to us as long as it wasn't us

you say it was a demand like no it was a question it was I've been saying it no even in a contract it was pretty like if you guys could not host this that would be amazing so passive aggressive that's like that's respectful at least yeah it felt the font

wasn't bold yeah for being in a contract that would be so awesome The lawyer with the paper was going like, you know it'd be fucking sick? Yes. Actually, you know it can actually be kind of baller? If you bought it and don't host it. Oh, damn.

Oh, damn. It got me excited about. Oh, yeah. Wait, why? And they were like, isn't that fucking baller, dude? Yes. And all of a sudden, I'm agreeing. I'm like, yeah.

I'm like, yeah, no, obviously. I'm just like, yes. No, I was actually going to, yeah, I was going to say. But who, first of all, who do we know? in our lives we had to ask who is john krasinski coded at all who's giving jim who was in one episode of the office is that all of all the seasons at least one episode one episode okay but in that sense you were something of a shadow recruit for the office in that true so i'm just feeling like everyone else on there is like not as they're like kind of front and sense

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're not like... No, they're being recruited pretty openly. They're not there to sort of like blend in. Mm-hmm. Okay. And observe.

Okay, I like that. Like, all right. Like I'm a sleeper agent, but... UTI. UTI. U-TR. Mm-hmm. Under the radar.

Mm-hmm. You're an attractive action. And we hope that our UTI stay U-TR, don't we? We do. We don't want them on the radar. You just keep it at a low hum. You guys, I am so touched. I have never been gifted IP before.

Scott has given me so many gifts over the years over our marriage, over our recording. But never have I received. And I almost, I don't know how to react. I don't think I can meet this moment of generosity. I would, if I could suggest, how to react. Okay.

It would be stepping your game up. Oh shit. Fuck. And actually like learning how to host this very expensive property that we bought for you.

I have I have a slight I have a slight agenda. He's just told me to step up my pussy. Related. No, I didn't. I told you to Put your whole bussy into it.

You want me. No, you need to step up your game and put your entire bussy into it. Busy? Put your whole hostessy into it. Okay, okay, yeah, all right, I, okay. I need. Uh-huh. Okay.

Your entire. My entire. Krzintz-s-S-S-S-S-E? Into this opportunity. My chrins-T-S-E? Your chrins-cusi. My chrins-cusi. Mm-hmm.

It's going to be a good news, o-sie. Krasn's-Kussy. Good news ozy. Kevin, could you zoom in? My chrins-kissy wants to look direct. No, that's not where your chrins-kissy even is. No. You don't even know where it is.

Is it a gorgeous? Is it like, is it a little higher? Is that what you're saying? It's in the back of your neck. And so you jack in like the Matrix. Can we see a little of how it's done, Kevin? Can we just get one example for Kulab so you can actually rise to the occasion for the first time of our life? How it's done, done, done.

Do we need headphones? Oh, my God. Damn, dude. What's this a globe? I just, in 2025 that I'm still putting these on. You know what I mean? shit dog bong

actually okay so this is like sort of like a lo-fi intro that they're doing god I'm so happy to be watching this again I definitely saw it when it was on it was a spinning globe and then it's his

SGN and kind of like a kid painted style but the way that when you initially see it Kevin has something to show us go okay it's for cool op to hold Kevin wants, okay. Oh, you want me a up.

Oh, okay. Wow. And here it is. The S-G-N. The S-G-N-a-half-by-11. Logo. There's two options. Okay, so this is what you bought.

He took a second crack at it. You could do some cool-op news. So that one says S-K-N. Some cool-up news. Mm-hmm. Some cool news, but cool is spelled K-U-L. I like it. I like it. I like it.

Ain't it cool news? Some could news. Okay. Okay, well I think I know everything I need to know. No, cool up. Please take this seriously. Good evening, everybody. Even though it is very clearly the afternoon and welcome to SGN. John, what is SGM? That's a good question. Can we get your, just like your, your, just like your, your,

take on that. So you can't do good evening everybody even though it's very clear. Even though it's very clear the afternoon. That has been done. We can't say anything that has already been said on the show. Good 9.30 everybody when it's clearly

almost 10. I'm Kulapuli Sack. Wow. She knows exactly what time it is. Yo. Man, no wonder she doesn't know history. She is locked in on the present. time. Okay.

She's really living in the moment. It's 949. That was fucking crazy. She fucking dropped her timeousy on that. That was insane. That fucking rocked. Shit, I was ready to criticize and give notes. That's kind of my specialty,

but I got nothing to do but give it all. Oh, my God. Murder on the track. Fuck. Well, Kevin. He's on the trap. We got a clip as we just clip that intro. And then we have the time in the bottom corner.

All right, let's keep going. Now, I've been wondering, why is there not a news show dedicated entirely to good news? Well, desperately seeking my fix somewhere else, I reached out to all of you this week. Can you pause it real quick? So this, we want to create the kind of like cove, you know, just like the casual cove era production value. So you need to be, your face is right up next to the camera, but the mic should be in the bathroom. So you're in, you're in the office. So you're going to have to sneak into Scott's office.

office to film this. We're going to need to give Scott something to do, like an errand to run or something. During cove times? I just can't get. He's walking the dogs. Oh, yes. He's walking the dogs. I'm sneaking

into the office. Uh-huh. And then... And he's walking the dogs, but he's really scared. He's like, he's walking the dogs from like, from bush to bush. Yes. Why is my neighbor talking loudly on the phone? He's got oven.

mitz and a football humming on for some reason he's just he's got he's got like a protective suit that he's devised catcher's chest plate so it's just a lot of fear a lot of fear in the air snow shoes yes yes and you sneak into his office like a little move the mic a little farther away even further yeah even further okay and then so we already have done what time it is. Now let's get a little bit into the premise of the show. God, she fucking killed it with it. I know.

She's set such a hard bar. It's got me comedy. Maybe I'm giving her too much now. I know. Now I'm giving her the whole premise to deliver without really any guidance. But now I'm expecting her to really fuck up because that was so good. Yeah, it's true. Hey, man, the air is such a bummer. But I went to my followers. That's you guys. And I wanted you guys to tell me

what's your anti-bumber story? What's up? Oh shit. He's back. he got too scared he got way too scared and now he needs to be comforted with some good news and of course with the oven it's taped to his hands he's not able to open the doorknop so you do have time he is kind of trying to get some kind of traction on that thing can we like as we go forward can we like anchor our performance a little bit and like it's like March 28th 2020 maybe we're given up hope that this is only going to last a month absolutely and we're like 30 or so seconds into the first episode now but we're already it's kind of bored with it we're

already making plants for like how do we get ourselves out of us you know yeah yeah okay okay anchor in that okay all right let's see but let's hear from john next begging for some good news. And boy, did you deliver. After reading those replies and the incredibly heartwarming stories that came with them, I thought, all right, enough is enough, world. Why not us? Why not now?

So, ladies and gentlemen, this is your fault, and this is SGM. I'm John Krasinski. You see what's behind Krasinski there? Yes, I see. I love dad more than anything. What else? I see an old-timey typewriter. You know what that is?

No. That's called Hank's bait. Oh, shit, you're right. Bro loves typewriters. We're trying to get Tom Hanks. He's, I mean, he's floating on the scent of the typewriter, like Yogi Bear right now. Somewhere he's caught a whiff and he started to levitate.

And he's being drawn, magnetized towards the SGN studio. And so every once in a while you reach back there, give it a little clickety-clack. click clickly clack yes uh hey everybody it's the first episode of sken and uh what if from the getgo we all just put into the comments what's our favorite hanks film because then the next episode we can watch it together oh wow live watch that's right that's a really good idea live watch with Tom Hanks. Okay, keep going. Let's hear what some of the actual good news actually is. Yeah, absolutely. It's for you.

Oh, man, you like saying, thank you. There were reports that in someone's backyard and honestly. That was John Krasinski gave someone some toilet paper, yeah. Wait, so it's all good things he's done? It's all good news that he's done. It's all about him. So we cut into the middle of it a little bit. So he made that man use the bathroom in front of him.

And then he let him take some of the toilet paper home. But not use some of the toilet paper after gave him the package. No, because he didn't have anywhere for him to throw it away. He gave him a whole 12 pack, 12 rolls of toilet paper, and he said, you need to use all that right now. Because otherwise you're dirty. Because it's dirty if you don't use it all. Yeah. Okay.

okay and remember this was COVID yeah yeah so it was hard to use toilet paper yeah yeah that was like a gold bounty there was nothing in the in the aisles

and so to be forced to take a shit bad but to be given you know a dragon's hoard if you will of toilet paper while that's that is good news it was a real luxury at the time to be able to use 12 entire rolls of toilet paper and one sitting

in one sitting yeah and a Melda Marcos like sort of luxury right a dragon's horde if you will I said that already Sean sorry I was reading whenever there's a word on the screen

I can't help to read it a funny Marcos short of luxury I got 100 lobstas to help out a lobsterman he then went to each one of his neighbors and delivered them a fully cooked lobster dinner in Ireland. He's doing placework.

He's, oh, that's beautiful. He's actually from the Boston area, you know. Okay. And so he loves the opportunity to use that New England accent. Okay, but that's not true to me. So I'm from Minnesota, so I'll use a Minnesotan accent. Okay, and maybe there's, like, sort of a special, like, freaky ocean creature. Oh, my God.

Well, it would be a lake creature. Like, oh, my God, look, I gave this fisherman. all these northern pikes and carps and that made him happy and we fried it together with some lefsa like that exactly like that oofta that's really good and if you remember like like northern pikes and lobsters and stuff like it was covid and so like you need me to ground my performance well it was just like it was a time when people were like oh i know to the grocery store and like the lobster tank would be empty.

It would just be toilet paper there would just be one piece of toilet paper disintegrating in front of you. I know because it's... And like the northern pike tank would be like half-full. I know it's too scary to go ice fishing right now in the lake.

So I'm giving you all these northern pikes for free. Ain't that some good news? And it is scary to go ice fishing on March 20. it's almost springtime and you could fall into the lake so good thing that I got you these carps but make like Claire like you're not actually be like do you you actually want these though because you're not going to really do it okay kind of make it seem like kind of a bad

thing oh man you know we don't know how to clean fish like we used to write because we begin at the grocery store at Cub Foods or Rainbow Foods. You know, you'd be going to get 7-Eleven and you be getting your carp there. And so it is actually pretty tough to learn how to clean your Northern Pike. So if you don't want it, I'll keep it. And you already ate it. Okay. I got to be honest with you.

Okay. Your scales all over your mind. I have to. you could pull a whole fishback i had a heathcliff moment everybody i had one of those heated heathcliff moments uh it was a low point for me i have to apologize i ate all the northern pikes is that good that's really good yeah and so say and you're going to have to go back to the guy and get the toilet paper back as well okay if hey guy if you're out there i know i gave you you of that 12 pack of

Charmin Soft, but I'm going to need them pretty hard real soon. I ate too many fishes. I'm going to need that toilet paper hard. I'm going to need that toilet paper hard.

Maybe he's taking a major L, a cotton ale. He's taking a major L in cotton ale? Is that word? Hold here, hold this L.

Hold this L. Oh, thank you. That's really, that's a good campaign. Oh, thank you. That's a good idea. Hold this L. Hold this L. That's a good idea.

That's some good news. Right? That's really good. That's really, really good. So we've got that going. Look for that on the Patreon. Tomorrow, I guess. Every day.

You're going to do this every day. It has to go up tomorrow. It has to go up every single day. Well, what? Every day, I think. Yeah. For eight days. Every day for eight.

Tired days. How long is each episode? First one was an hour and then I think they go down to 20. Guys, I don't, uh, uh-uh. Look how many subscribers there are in the Some Good News channel, 2.27 million. Oh, God. Just every morning pulling it up. I mean, I'm not really doing anything right now, but I don't want.

do it. Nothing is happening for me career-wise, but this is something I could not do that. Not even doing a podcast when I'm in a bit. Oh, shit. Guys, I

have diarrhea. Bye. Hollywood Hamburg. That was a hate gum podcast. What's going on? It's Lamar and Morris. And Hannah Simone.

And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl rewatch podcast now on Headgum. Now, here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl, and we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our time's on set.

We share behind the scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog. That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest. stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo.

We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes we even talk to other co-stars like Zoe Day Chanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayne's Jr. And your dad. We talk to your dad on this show as well. Make sure you subscribe to the mess around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.