Hollywood Handbook - Kumail Nanjiani, Our Close Friend Again

Episode Date: July 25, 2023

The Boys welcome back KUMAIL NANJIANI to discuss the projects they can no longer promote. Watch the video of today’s episode with Kumail for free here!Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. I think it's I think it's very very professional scene the suck bucket yeah the suck bucket yeah suck bucket list moment yeah is that you know you have a reverse bucket list basically

where you're like these are the things I don't want like for me it's like getting stabbed yeah get this pillow suck bucket list

it's big falling from anything over like one story is on my suck bucket list do not come back here you didn't know you didn't know no i didn't know i didn't know i mean i in my head i pictured something nice or we'll we'll let you we'll tell you next time like when it's cool to come back

we're doing we're we're really getting our hands dirty here we're really digging in it's cool to come back. We're doing, we're really getting our hands dirty here. We're really digging in. It's been a few months. Yeah. We're super involved in this. This is kind of a new home for us. Yeah. Why are the walls not painted? You know, according to the people that work here, it's for sound.

Yeah. I don't know. Like everything you ask, because they know that i'm not like i don't do that shit why does why is the graffiti saying jizz was here what does that mean well it was i mean that's the thing like that was actually the the county came the county came in and wrote that yeah because no because you have to you have to put it but it doesn't come up that much they have like a little certificate like please take that out go ahead and take that out go ahead and take that out so what we'll just

have is a conversation about jizz was here being written on the wall uh-huh kumail saying something incredibly short and like honestly halfway getting it out five words yeah I think a beep will just get the whole sentence a beep? what are you gonna do

with the rest of the beep? yeah yeah it's gonna be half a beep it was so short take a half a beep the beep's gonna cover this sometimes

can we shorten the beep Rochelle? yeah sometimes can we make it a beep? yeah a half beep length of words can ruin your career The beep's going to cover this. Can we shorten the beep, Rochelle? Yeah. Can we make it a beep? Yeah. A half-beep length of words can ruin your career forever. So please just... You know, beep.

Use a couple beeps. Just make sure you get it all. Thank you so much. What if this episode was just a beep? Just one... I mean, I think with the strikes, it's the polite, it's the responsible thing to do. That would be honoring.

We need to set guardrails here. Yeah, I'm no scab. People have been coming in, press their nose against the door. Trying to get in and promote. Fog up the glass, trying to get in here and promote. Promote their projects

get out of here they see the live mic and they just they can smell it these companies are struck I don't know how I feel about the past stance of strike being used against these companies

these companies are struck I'm not, it doesn't flow it doesn't flow from my mouth comp struck i don't why are they shortened company to say comp comp struck yeah these things are comp struck i'm like it sounds really weird when you say it fast it sounds like you're saying something else jizz is here yeah um i just want to make to get clear i very much support every strike that's going on in the country. Absolutely.

Yeah, you just think some of the language around it could be maybe reworked. I mean, there's a writer's strike. Can we not use these writers to get some of the wording right? Let's massage the terms. That's all I'm saying. Let's massage Kumpfstruck.

Like, let's not... Yeah. I don't know why we all went in on Kumpfstruck immediately. I know. Everyone was like, oh, yeah, you can't work for Disney. It's K Cumpstruck. Like, let's not. Yeah. I don't know why we all went in on Cumpstruck immediately. I know. Everyone was like, oh, yeah, you can't work for Disney. It's Cumpstruck. Yeah. What?

I think, yeah, just there are ways to present your case to the American public that don't involve off-putting terminology. Yeah. I mean, it's such a huge portion of it is the messaging to get public support. And when you're a school teacher in Iowa hearing that the Kumpf trucks are coming for us, that's not going to resonate in the way that we need it to. Yeah, people are saying the Kumpf trucks

will not replace us, this kind of stuff. It just feels, you know, not a best foot forward, but now we're all in. Hashtag Fran Drescher. We love Fran. We're supportive of everything that Strake is doing. And also, I sort of feel like there has to be a way to capitalize on this personally in some way. Can I say something about Fran? Sure. like capitalize on this personally in some way can i say something about fran sure as we talk

about this language i don't think she should be calling herself the lafd oh okay i i think that that's going to become confusing because people will be like call the lafd my house is on fire yes and instead you suddenly have the nanny showing up. Well, that's what she's saying, though, is like, as actors, you know, our collective house is on fire. And the LAFD is here to save us. And that she, because of the strike, that she took emergency powers to take 911, basically. I don't know if that. Actually, on the way here, I saw her. Yeah.

There was a Starbucks on fire, and I saw her with a hose outside. And I finally understood what was going on. Yeah. She's still, by the way, doing that speech. She's still, that speech has not stopped. Wow. So the jig is currently up. Yeah, and a remarkably small amount of repetition.

It's all new talking points. Wow. Whoa. Yeah, she's just got new asks that I think are very, very reasonable. Oh, really? What are some of the new things that she wanted? She says that what would really help the Screen Actors Guild is if she was CEO of Disney.

That's what she's asking for. I like it. Yeah, having somebody who's been on both sides of it, maybe they could see. What are the two sides? What two sides has she been on? Well, she has been in SAG as a performer, as an artist. Yes.

And then for her to take on the role of executive inside one of those companies, she would have possibly more sympathy for the plight of creatives like us. But so far, she, oh, right she oh right right right not that she's already been on both sides but it would be good for her someone like that to be on both sides yeah yeah yeah well it's beautician and the beast i mean this is really the credit that is informing the work right now we everyone is like oh the nanny it's like no it was when she had to go into whatever that country was the guy was being crazy yeah and then she had to cut his hair so good that he like started to run the run the

government in a normal way was it james bond was it a james bond that was the was it timothy dalton um i believe it was prince brosnan oh it it was Prince Brosnan, a different James Bond. Well, right now she's not beautician and the beast. She's beautician slash the beast because she's performing both activities. She's going beast mode. Yeah. She goes beast mode and then beautician mode. Yeah.

And, you know, yes, people focus on the nanny and I don't think it's fair. And I don't want to bring it up every week, but she is obviously in the movie Jack. And they do talk about her rear end in the movie, you know, and they're sort of checking her out. They do? I think someone says something like she's... She's got an ass you can crack walnuts with or something like that, you know, like to Jack who is a 10-year-old boy but has the body

of robin williams no he looks much older yeah yeah so the person who said that probably thought we can assume thought jack was like a grown adult he looks like insanely old yeah he's not i wouldn't say insanely old he just looked the age 10 year old for for a 10 year old it's insane it wouldn't be worth making a movie about if it wasn't insane. He's a 10-year-old who looks 13 years old. Not quite as strong a premise. I thought one of the SAG demands that we all watch all of her filmography. Yeah.

You know, I thought it was a bit excessive, but I'm working my way through. I'm season seven of The Nanny right now. Again, very little repetition in plots yeah every week a new thing yeah brightens up to something it's it's kind of affecting the negotiations in a way because it's like right really oh this is really what with it what it's season seven brighton went off he snapped on us yeah yeah well you Yeah. He's learned a lot for six seasons and now he's showing us what he's learned. Sorry, Hayes.

You were talking. I was about to do promos and I checked myself. No promo. We're on stream. No writing. No acting. No. But I do want to get to the heart of how can we take advantage of the fact that no one else's working is working and

well all the trucks are available on stuff oh like oh we can do like nobody's using the door actually or something the studios are gasping for it and god oh yeah they are so damn thirsty they are thirsty they'll take whatever yeah and as someone who has been described as mediocrity the guy yeah how could i take advantage of this moment where all these talented people yeah are not allowed they're totally distracted well doing other stuff yeah and i go in doing other stuff. And I go in. I'm not saying we should make a movies TV.

What can help? But I gotta get in here. Come on. There's gotta be something that's not a movie and not TV. But is still a form of film entertainment. How about Camille?

Cutscenes. Just video game cutscenes cuts we make big ass cut scenes dude the cut scenes can be movie length yes you know but they're cut scenes so they're okay to do cut scenes and at any time okay and when the freaking pencil police come in they're like hey what are you guys doing we just pick up the controller yeah and we're like oh i'm sorry just making making the cut what are you doing because you know what cut scenes have is people holding video game controllers every cut scene has it the actors yeah of course as you're directing producing or even writing the movie you kind of need to have the control well you're gonna want to stay connected to the final yeah i mean when you're you know when you're making a movie you're watching it on a screen usually so it's like you

want to be the audience and uh and the sort of creative you want to recreate the experience of the people watching so you know it's working so when you're directing a cutscene you hold the video game controller right yeah you hold the control when we exhibit it we will have to i think for it to be a real cut scene we'll have to show it obviously give the whole audience a controller and give any of them the option to hit triangle just to end the entire movie yeah so we just really have to hope right so like can you please this is not a movie we're not scabs're not scabs. This is a cut scene. This is a cut scene.

You can tell because you could just hit triangle if you want. But please don't. But please don't do that. Because then no one else will get to see the movie. Yeah. And we got some really big accuracy. Because everyone was available. I have to stop calling it a movie.

It's not a movie. We just started. We will figure this out. We have to stop calling it a movie. It is a cut scene. As we were saying, words are very important. Oh my God. You own the meanings of words and you own the truth.

Yes. Please bleep that. Oh God. Go ahead and bleep that right now. But I think this cut scene idea is pretty good because I'm a big gamer. I play games. Oh, is that one of your? It's one of my things.

Yeah. So I understand what makes a good cutscene. You're well positioned here. Yeah. I know what makes a good cutscene, what makes a bad cutscene. We make a nice two-hour cutscene. Because these are getting so long. These are getting so long.

The cut scenes are getting long. Yeah. Do the cut scenes ever have cuts inside the scene? Yeah. I mean, editing inside the scenes? Yeah. Almost definitely. Okay.

That's going to really help us because- Because we don't want to do a one-hour, two-hour, one-hour. I would not have a two-hour, one-hour. Well, I have another- Because I would like it to be movie length, although I have to stop calling it a movie. It's such a bad habit. Yeah.

Just why don't you say the length of time it needs to be and not compare it to the thing that we're not allowed to make right now. Absolutely, yeah. I think it would be good. Importance of words. The other thing that I know is a requirement for a movie is, I mean, everybody knows this, is the title of the movie has to show up somewhere in the movie. That's why in Apocalypse Now, the movie about the big war, they actually have it graffitied, much like Jizz was here.

They have it graffitied in a wall at one point because he didn't want opening credits. So I think technically we can make a movie as long as the title of the movie never shows up during the movie okay because then it's not technically a movie and so it's not protected under sag or wga and no one says it or or it can no one says it and you can't see we can have people interrupt like we could like there's some sort of pop and then we, then it's okay to do. Just make sure nobody says the name of the movie. Yeah. Or that it's written anywhere. And we could even use Pulp Fiction or whatever,

or even like do that because people would be like, well, that's already a movie. And we'd be like, well, this isn't a movie. This isn't a movie. This is like, this is a cut scene where they're talking about Pulp Fiction. And be like, hey, you see all those wild hogs over there and i go like well it's not we're not this isn't the movie wild hogs yeah i mean look at you're holding a controller how could it be wild hogs you can hit triangle to skip this whole cut scene you might be able to get all four wild hogs you know how during some of the cut scenes you have a little bit of first person perspective mobility?

Sometimes, sometimes. Sometimes that total 360 ability to turn around. You can just do a little like, uh? Look up just a tiny bit. Look down just a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look right. Now, of course, if everyone has the ability to control that in the audience, we'll have to come to sort of an agreement on that as well.

I think what we can do is if we have like a couple hundred people in an audience you know because we're going to get at least that it's the only movie because there's no movie yeah no no no hey now i've got you doing it it's not it's the only cut scene it's the only cut scene it's the only cut scene that people can like go to a premiere it's the only movie length cut scene airing in the theaters only don't say the m word yeah um is we can just pre-decide the up down where to look and so many people are holding controllers they listen to someone is doing it somebody's moving like one person who actually is doing it who's yeah oh i'm controlling it cutscene yeah yeah yeah okay if it's just moving around all the time like yeah that

would be good yeah just just just at the angle keeps like tilting around in a way that sort of makes you nauseous and what where are people gonna be like upset there's nothing yeah what's okay we'll go watch something else yeah go watch the nothing else that's out yeah yeah go see a different movie it's go see a movie not a different movie instead of a cut yeah yeah see a movie instead of this awesome instead of this cut is this uh is this fight haver i mean like we went we went down the road look i mean like obviously the timing of the strike sucks like i'm happy that we're doing but we were all about to do some big stuff i know you're always doing shit yeah you're like real and don't promote anything you were on the doorstep of like some huge huge projects yeah and um they're all obviously gone

now because they're movies and not cut scenes yeah we were gonna do yeah we were gonna do a couple we had a tv thing that was gonna be like you remember the show luck oh about horses yeah we were gonna we were gonna kill the horses were like not the biggest like yes it was really about the track yeah but we were doing it we we were people mostly who all survived the entire production did not see a single story about that yeah no all the people were of course we hear about the seven horses that died yeah but that's the normal amount of horses to die during the length of time yeah i mean once upon a time in the west i mean yeah 37 horses died during the filming of they were shooting them out of the camera.

It was a very typical number of horses to explode. But we had a version of it that I think was improved. We were in pre-production on it. We had lost more horses than the original version of the luck, but we were figuring that out. They don't report on it when you haven't i mean that's very ambitious that just in prep you'd lost more horses already than luck had over the course of the we didn't know you know i think the people on luck had more experience with horses we didn't really know like what they need uh and i would guess food sleep and water

okay we could have used you because all on the metal shoes so how how what was the cause of death of some of these guys it was pretty much time you got a lot of them i think what we found was they cover this up pretty well in the previous previous incarnation of luck but Dusty took care of a lot of them himself. He did?

Yeah. What is that like how would he take care of them? Garot. They don't like being hugged and then what happens with him is like

when you tell him not to hug you that's only gonna make him hug harder. And so So it was basically So it was like a garotting of like People don And so it was like a garroting of like, yeah. People don't know.

It was like a guillotine hold. Horses are allergic to human touch. Anytime in a movie you've seen someone like Pat a horse, just know that that was the last take that that horse had. Well, yeah, or it's like that's not a human hand that you're seeing. A lot of times they will use fake dummy hands. Well, they'll shove like a rabbit into a glove. And so that's why it's usually a glove that's like wiggling around or something.

Horses like rabbits, I guess. So they'll just, yeah. They'll spray paint the rabbit the color of the person's face, but not the color of the person's other hand. So it's kind of a dead giveaway. Yeah, but it's like, yeah. And so often when you watch people pet a horse you go well they weren't wearing an oven mitt earlier in the scene yeah why is it

why is it being petted by a wriggling oven mitt yeah but it's like they've just dropped like a couple baby rabbits it's a rabbit with an oven mitt on yeah just they don't want to kill the horses no i mean you'd rather not and we and we never intended to you know but we't want to kill the horses. No, I mean, you'd rather not. And we never intended to, you know, but we did want to bring Dusty back. Yeah, Dusty took care of seven horses pretty much right off the rip. But then he's like, basically settled that. Got it out of his system, yeah.

So it suggests that that show could have actually moved forward without incident. Well, he said, they don't, you know, now they don't bother me, I don't bother them. them like it's just sort of had established this dominance i guess i guess oh wow but that was okay but then we did hit the point where like a lot of the horse experts had quit because they just watched us and strangle seven horses yeah And so then we kind of were left like fending for ourselves in terms of like what they eat, which, you know, are you just like, what do you think a horse eats?

Apples. God, I wish you were there. God, I wish you had been there. Fuck, man. Yeah, it's right in front of me. The other thing, the issue with horses is if you give them enough food, they will eat until they are no more you gotta take the food away well then that's probably we had so much hay just for other

like aspects of the production yeah yeah so like now i'm feeling better about the fact that the horses didn't get any of it i know that because my brother still skin c story yeah c story of rumble still skin yeah we had brought in a lot which is what you were trying to spend out of your entire project was gold out of the yeah that you had it just sucks because then like sagstruck comes all of a sudden we can't kill any more horses yeah not that wasn't the main point but we can't film the show yeah you know um i know the horse thing because my brother when he was a kid would eat until he threw up Like, nah, that wasn't the main point, but we can't film the show, you know? I know the horse thing because my brother, when he was a kid, would eat until he threw up every time. So you had to actively take food away from him.

And his nickname was Horse Nanjiani. That's what we called him. Holy shit. I was, one of the big projects I was gonna do was a biography of my brother. Wow. It had just been greenlit right before the WGA. That is so cool.

Yeah. To honor Horace Nanjiani like that. Yeah, I was going to play him. You would play Horace as a child. Yeah, I was going to play Horace as a child up through current life. Wow. He's got a fascinating, fascinating story.

That's crazy. The studio must have been doing cartwheels. Yeah. You're like, here's me and my wife. We did that one. Now I'm doing my brother. We did that. Yeah.

We did one about me and my wife. And then we were going to do the one about Horace, my brother, which was the name of the movie was Horace, my brother. But I am not a character in it because otherwise. No punctuation. Who plays the horse, my brother? People thought it was a command instead of like horse. This is my brother.

Can someone horse my brother? Go ahead and horse my brother. Yeah, I might as well horse my brother at this point. But any movie with punctuation in the title is not going to do well. Master and Commander Poland. People give up. Yeah. I read a comma. I'm like, I'm out. Mm-mm. is not going to do well master and commander people give up yeah i read a comma i'm like i'm out i'm gonna go yeah i'm just gonna go home and watch luck again

uh yeah so we had 145 million dollar budget um for food all the food yeah just how much food he has to eat well it's me you know yeah i'm playing him right um and a lot of that was going to be in the eventual legal fees when he sues us so we had to have a big pot ready for all the lawyers he denies that his name was horse he denies that he ate till he threw up he denies that you are brothers what did you say I'm just saying like all the legal fees stack up because the gentleman in question denies basically everything that you're saying. Yeah, he says this is completely made up. I did not give you permission.

Where did you get my driver's license? Why do you have it? That's the poster of the film. At least black out my address. I mean, there were a bunch of issues that we had anticipated. But, you know, we had a great cast. Emily Blunt was playing our mom. Who's playing you?

She's a dream. I'm not a character in that. No, he's not in it. He can't be in it. Who could play him? Well, I didn't want to have to sue the production. He's playing horse. I'm playing horse. Oh, yeah. I didn't want to have to sue the production. He's playing Horse. Right.

I'm playing Horse. Oh, yeah. I didn't want to have to sue the production. That gets sticky. In this version, I am Horse, only child, mother's Emily Blunt, single mom, even though, you know, in real life, my parents are still together and love each other. Right. are still together and love each other. Right.

But in this movie, no. And people are like, why is your mom played by someone who looks significantly younger than you? But it's, you know, poetic license. No, it's really cool. It was going to be Disney. Oh, okay. Disney was doing Horse My Brother.

Wow. And it was one of their big releases. You know, they were going to like between avatar three and four this was gonna be their biggest one interesting uh because you know there's people be like well warner brothers like they they love brothers they're obsessed with it it's in the name yeah we took it to them yeah and disney people don't that it's the longer version it's called disney brothers as well they're all like everything yeah paramount brothers yeah universal brothers yeah a24 brothers yeah yeah rap pack zoni brothers yeah yeah braun brothers braun brothers yeah yeah they're all different it's brothers used to run this business. No, it's true. Well, there's two of you or sometimes more.

And so it's just like a lot of power bringing into a meeting if you're up against just one person. We know everything about each other. You know nothing about us. Yeah, we grew up together. We shower together and stuff. Hollywood Handbook. This week on the Patreon,

the boys put together their wish list for the new HeadGum Studio on the Pro version. Sean talks to writer Brody Gupta about the movie Barton Fink on Subtitles On. And the Flager Ones are mostly talking all things basketball. Check out all these shows and the free video of today's episode with Kumail at patreon.com slash theflagerones. patreon.com slash the flagrant ones. Hollywood Handbook. Be a better you in 2024 with Babbel,

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memorabilia you're talking about like ornate gowns you know in some cases and so that was uh yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money.com slash the boys that's rocket money.com slash the boys rocket money.com slash the boys that's rocketmoney.com slash the boys rocketmoney.com slash the boys speaking of yeah speaking of showering together yeah fight haver fast drive this is a game that you remember we made together yeah yeah in 2011 or whatever yeah and you had helped so much by recording a lot of the dialogue for it.

To this day, the thing I'm most proud of is Feist. Feist, Haver, Fast Drive. But Feist did do some music for it. It was extremely difficult to work. I think it was before a lot of career stuff kind of gave you

some peace. The freedom to take risks too. I think it was before a lot of career stuff kind of gave you some. The freedom to take risks too. I think you were so concerned with like establishing a brand and it wasn't necessarily comfortable for you to do some of the more unique avant-garde conceptual stuff. the more unique avant-garde uh conceptual stuff we were we were talking about martial arts moves and also like you were you know in the in the scenes we discussed you were taking showers you know i that was the part i didn't understand i was like is he sweating from fighting so much is that it shouldn't be focused more on the fights than on the showers that he used to take um after the fights but you guys also insisted that he showered before the fights and i didn't understand why he needs to shower before the fight like but do you hear that like this is like do you want that version of yourself like to come back really no i'm just what was all this work for no no no i'm

doing this again because at the time i was like oh my god i mean you i said it's one of the things i'm most proud of yeah at the time i was annoyed yeah i just i just don't understand why the whole the whole game seems to just be a series of showers well no if there's a make a shampoo noise i don't know what that is i generally in my life we had to cut what you ended up doing yeah so that didn't even end up in the episode what because i don't in my real life make a shampoo noise um well yes you do yeah and i guess to be fair most of i was gonna say lots of performers don't just like put their real life like up on screen over and over again but as you're describing that as- The brother movie. I'd already done.

The wife movie. The time that my wife was in a coma, I was doing the movie about my brother eating so much he throws up every time. And the movie about very personal showers. Everyone's got a medical affliction, you know? Yeah, I mean, it's a miracle that we're walking around feeling fine, because so much can go wrong.

But I read for the doctor in horse my brother yeah i don't know if you saw my tape it didn't make it to me yeah yeah we decided to stunt it yeah yeah um because you know that part uh it was sort of the one that everyone in town was going out for you know anytime i'd run into someone like oh paul sheer yeah you're reading for the doctor oh yeah i'll i'll tell them that you know you're good at right you'll put a word in or whatever not to note it just like you said it didn't make it to me so fast i mean it didn't make it to me i know but usually there's like an in-between like oh you submitted i didn't even know you should have reached out you know that just the

instant it didn't make it to me it seems like it not making it to you was a decision that you made prior and remember that you know that it's right in the front of your mind that a submission did happen i'll i'll admit i had a kill list going into this project i had had a blacklist. I said, if these people send in tapes, please, just, I don't want to see them. And I don't remember if you were on it.

Yeah. But, but, How would you? But, I would have, if I thought of it, I would have put you on it.

Just because I don't want your talent to, you know, sort of, you know, you just overtake everything. Good combo. Draw focus.

You're underplaying Horace, your brother. Yeah. I'm really finding sort of the heart of him, and then you're juggling and all that kind of stuff. I played him. Yeah, I played him strange. I played him weird. You might be right.

Yeah, I had him doing some really big stuff dude muting yeah it's throwing up it's very much an awards movie we're making yeah it's very subtle yeah uh it's more about people's thoughts than the things they're doing or saying or showering do you just put in a knot there just say in awards very very much an awards movie that we're not making? That we're not making. We are not making anymore. It's obviously, it's been pushed,

you know, but I think that it'll, they say it'll be one of the first things back on the docket soon as the, soon as we, you know,

get what we rightfully deserve. Or do we, do we cut scene it? Could it be a cut scene? Horse My Brother's a cut scene. Or do we cutscene it? Could it be a cutscene? Of course, my brother's a cutscene. Some of these cutscenes have an interactive piece, right? Where, like, during the cutscene, you can have the character do things. You press square to throw up.

Press square to throw up. That's right. And also, you know, my brother's got all this legal team lined up to take on a movie adaptation a cutscene cutscene a little more freedom they're completely throw them off cutscenes are the wild west right now man yeah you just get out there whatever you want press square to throw up you know yeah that can keep people from pressing triangle for at least another yeah yeah they're bored at least they'll throw square first. See a dude throw up. If you tell someone square to throw up, triangle to skip,

they're definitely hitting square before triangle. That's right. Who'd you end up getting for the doctor? We got Jason Mantzoukas. Oh, my God. Yeah. Stunt city. Yeah, we wanted to stunt it.

So we got Jason Mantzoukas. Oh, my God. And he didn't read for it. He doesn't know. But he's really, I think he's going to be really good once he finds out. That can sometimes be the key to getting some of these roles is not reading, not submitting, not knowing that you got it. This is a loophole in Hollywood. You can attach anybody to anything,

and they don't have to say yes. So you can go into a pitch and be like, all right, for this movie I got Emily Blunt. That's how we have Emily Blunt. It's the same strategy. She doesn't know about it yet. Yeah, you could just be like, I got Brad Pitt, I got greta gerwig um and i got

noah bombach in this movie as actors and yeah and peyton manning you know you can say whatever you want yeah um i just you know yeah that's not i mean there's a i don't mean that that's how flock of dudes happened right yeah that you had no idea i i didn't know they actually bowfinger style just ran behind me and shot me while i was just like you know eating pizza with my wife and stuff so if you notice in that movie that's how everyone's in that movie no i know nobody knew the movie being just a series of attachments yeah it's they attached a lot of people and it was really just what they were doing was a documentary crew was following different people that they wanted to attach yeah just go like this is who stars in the movie yeah kind of tried to stitch it together hannibal still

doesn't know he's in that movie yeah i mean but that's part of the brilliance of the performance And I feel like the fact that sometimes you guys ended up interacting with each other Was like such a boom It was really exciting when you could get two people talking to each other I think that's sort of the strength of Flock of Dudes Is getting two people talking to each other who didn't know they were shooting a movie And the only person who was actually attached to it, who signed on, was

Brett Gelman. He really wanted to be in that movie. I remember him being very fired up about it. Yeah. Well, we can't promote it. No. No. But do we make it a cutscene?

I mean, how do we make it a cutscene? What was your favorite? What was some of your favorite things in Flock of Dudes? Me personally? Well, I really thought the beer was a character, you know? I just love when the beer felt like its own character to me. I thought really the hijinks were sort of the star of that movie, really. Yes, yes.

The pure and all the hijinks. Well, some of the bird, dog, and chicks was, you know, of course, like, there's a time in your life when your friends are really your family. Yeah. And it doesn't always get captured on screen, especially when people don't know they're in the movie yeah and i recall feeling like not only do they not know they're in a movie i don't know i'm watching a movie because i feel like it's just me and my buddies hanging out in the theater yeah having a having a couple beers for four hours i felt it could have used an edit yeah well but that's an efficient that's

how many scenes were back then missing not to like note it to death but i wondered if they should be trying to tag each other oh yeah wow and then i feel like that got so wasn't hannibal the what didn't he get like wasn't he tagging people hannibal tagged the shit out of some fuckers man hannibal would tag your ass like you do not want to tangle with uh no hannibal tag wise yeah it sounds like i haven't seen it so they people are tagging each other in flock of dudes well i mean there's some tagging going on, but it's not the star of the movie, I would say. So there's some.

There's a little bit. Okay. Hannibal Scarf's name in the movie is Pussy Pop. Yeah, so he's tagging somebody. You could check that in IMDb. Yeah, so his name is Pussy Pop. Okay, I just meant like playing tag. I don't mean like...

No. Oh! People tagging each other. The movie may have been a little bit stronger and obviously there were positive elements, but that I've seen other movies with Hannibal where he is tagging his friends. Like tagging as in the game of tag.

Yeah. Not tagging and bagging. And that that was missing possibly from Flock of... Or a missed opportunity for Flock of Dudes for him to tag some people. Right. We definitely... What we need is that movie to be longer. You could have added some tag scenes.

Yeah. Well, I mean, I have to reiterate, I did not know I was in this movie. So I was never in a position to give notes to implement any notes no i'm not well that's why i'm comfortable talking you know i don't feel like i'm criticizing your work i'm just evaluating something that i enjoyed but that is there anything wrong with having a little christmas wish list about what could have been in flock of dudes yeah dear santa thanks for flock of dudes maybe next year so tag scenes just thinking about next steps with some of the projects we've been talking about yeah i'm sort of feeling like it is cut scenes like obviously we have some like a window here we have a real opportunity i do feel like this is gonna potentially take forever and

that we need this thing to go along yeah we need this strike to like because as soon as shit is like going again that we lose everybody to we end up on the bottom of the non i worry people are gonna not want to show up to the theater to hold a controller and watch a cut scene no i think they're gonna i think they're gonna prefer to just eat popcorn or something during the during the screening rather than hold a controller. How about a controller that has popcorn on it? On it? Help me out design-wise.

I'd like to picture it. There's a couple of different ways to go. One way, obviously, which I know we're all all thinking is you put sticky butter on it and stick it to the controller yeah so that you're picking it up yeah you're right yeah i almost said sticky butter at the same time as you yeah we were picturing that yeah um obviously corn starch like what do you like how do you get it like really sticky glue which is made from you know you guys have probably a supply of glue from all the horses you've killed yeah that's right yeah um that is that's so horse blood is glue like that's like what they don't really explain

that's so smart we did hang on to the horses but we have really been trying to figure out it's gonna be tough yeah people will be like oh this popcorn tastes like horse's blood what is that about um you're telling on yourself the other the other version is you just sort of like a basket at a front of a bicycle you just attach a little basket to the controller you know what i mean yeah these lats are a bicycle basket are so big the popcorn is gonna fall out yeah no you don't want to have a bell right because i don't think no i'm just i forget i mentioned the bicycle this is really not like a bicycle in any way except the bicycles have baskets and our controller can also have a basket it'd be hard to forget it but it's really

all there's no wheels we okay We don't need a bell. Because then people are just going to be dinging all through our cut scenes. They're going to go out and start delivering papers. And so the movie's outside is what you're picturing? Huh? The movie's on the... Like in the street? Is it like at a city bike stand?

You mean the cut scene? Sorry. Yes. We're not shooting movies. The cut scene is outside some of it i think we're gonna shoot it i mean the thing is as you've mentioned we all the studio space is available you know we could go anywhere um they aren't giving any permits so you could right now shoot down any street you want sunset la cienega pico you know the dream god oh god if we could get sunset at la sierra i can get a camera on a bike basket on pico okay okay it's not really forget i mentioned the the bicycle thing

but i'm saying there's basically what i'm saying is we can have people enjoy a cut scene with the experience of enjoying a movie which this this isn't, with popcorn. So I'm saying there's a way to do that. Okay. So we're not really missing out very much. How would we do it? There's a couple of different options. I think the other thing that I should bring up, I don't want to be the guy who's poo-pooing this.

And, you know, I'm on. I'm in board with this. Cutscenes usually are preceded and proceeded by, preceded and preceded by, succeeded by actual

gameplay. So, I guess we could just put any game before and after well this is yeah this is actually something that had occurred to me too is like it had yeah that i don't really want to go through the ugly business of making a game again um yeah because uh well it was such a painful process last time i'm much easier so deal with now than it was back then yeah i just remember it being like so pissed off making for me like i just i have this vivid memory of being like the most pissed off i've ever been in my life.

And what was it that pissed you off? Because you really didn't. This kind of like this tone where it's like you don't know what I'm mad about. Where it's like, what? Like, why are you pissed? And it's like, because it's what you're doing because of the way you're acting. And what was it? I mean, it was everything was like all these questions about

like wait why am i doing this like why like it's the shower thing it's all it's the showers i thought i thought and again one of the things i'm most proud of in my career is fight have a fast drive but i felt that the focus was all over the place because there's showers going on why is driving fast part of a fight having situation is is he is he using the car to drive to or from the fights i had yeah these he is he's late for the fight the fight is starting right and so he has to drive fast to get to because these are pre-scheduled fights he's getting into yeah okay so they've like decided a lot of it is like he slept through his alarm he's not gonna not shower before no you gotta shower before a fight and then like yeah and then he's going you know he's showering and then you know get in the car and this whole like

cutscene needs to have a video game before like it's a little bit of 2011 kumail to me coming out just allergic to success um but i don't mind if there's like just like uh what would you say 15 16 minutes of somebody just playing candy crush and then and then all of a sudden the cutscene starts yeah and then after that you that, you just bookend it with, you can do Candy Crush again. And we should make them, I was going to say they get to a certain level so that they can see the cutscene. But it should really be that they fail at Candy Crush and then they have to buy a few more gems so they can put a DLC in there. Well, maybe it's like buy gems or watch the cutscene. Like a freemium model.

Yeah. Except where you pay to go in.'s like buy gems or watch the cutscene. Like a freemium model. Yeah. Except where you pay to go in. Now, you pay to watch the cutscene? I guess we're going to need that. It's freemium except you pay for everything. I wouldn't mind selling gems. So it's paymium. Yes. Paymium model. Yes. Standard paymium model. So basically, pay me. Pay me.

So do we need to and I'm just trying to wrap baby um i'm just trying to uh because that's pay me um is not struck that's not struck come on yeah you can do it that's not because they're doing more of the video game it's a movie they just did freaking special mariano and they did uh the guys sonic air which like this movie killed more people than sonic air yes yeah yeah yeah sonic more people than all wars combined we've talked about this yeah the deadliest movie ever released i was shocked they did a sequel and now they're doing a a tv show and another sequel yeah i know go ahead kill more people well it's just like the one thing we know that the movie has done is kill people uh i i would think we could do something else with the

money that we're investing in it unless that was the point in which case like i go ahead like that's why i didn't watch it um because uh it was it was killing people and ben schwartz isn't it i don't watch it i was scared yeah it's the ring cassette tape on a much shorter timeline yeah that's right why wait why wait seven whole days go watch and die, you fucks. You like, you miss your childhood? I'm curious to see how they'll kill people with the TV series. Like, because that, you know, generally you think you enjoy it in your home, but maybe they're going to be some, like, group viewing party experience.

Yeah. Because it's just, I know how the movie killed the most people of any movie ever but i don't really know how the tv show is going to do that and i'm and i'm i'd be lying if i said i wasn't intrigued yeah i would love to see the tv show if it wasn't about sonic and stuff right i just you know that was not the part more of a super mariano guy yeah special mariano yeah sorry but regardless i want to bring up this issue again even the time we're spending talking about this i worry that they're gonna like figure out the strike that's been a big concern for me that they'll sit down and talk i have a pitch because like to try and keep this going we're just gonna have to make like more and more asks and like figure out more things that

have to be negotiated yeah and it's tough because fran's out there putting out literal fires exactly hard to get a hold of her yes but that i mean that's good the longer it takes to get them to the table but it's just like the sooner they settle it it's that's bad for us i am really hard to buy shoes for wait why i just go in there i don't like anything it feels oh it's not too size feet or no i just don't i'm just like like it's on there. It feels kind of weird. And they're like, well, it feels weird because it's new. Yeah.

You got to break it in. Okay. Well, these, I don't have to break these ones in. I wore these. Have you tried to size up? Is that the issue?

If they're so tight? Yeah. Cause I know what my size is. This is true. My father-in-law for a long time hated wearing shoes. And then turns out he was wearing shoes that were two sizes too small. I smell a movie. We sold it to Warner Brothers.

I smell a movie. Yeah. I'm playing my father-in-law. You're playing your father-in-law. Yeah. The size is important to me. Lucky number seven. They call it that for a reason.

Okay. I think I'm getting a full picture now. That's my shoe size. And so I will, if we can get. Can I say I'm looking at your feet right now it's something's wrong because your toe is coming out of the top of it well i can say that's better than it's staying in there from my perspective it's much better that the toe i could see that come out yeah it is an angry purple your toe it's better for me if I don't see it. It's very dangerous to be sitting in the room with Haze

when he has shoes on because pieces of them come shooting off and can blast you. I think if we get to the point where we say, hey, thanks for all the counter offers. That's really nice. We're good to go on pretty much everything. We just need to find some shoes for one of our main writers, Hayes. Okay.

But isn't it going to be hard? If you can't find shoes for yourself, how will it be easier for them to find shoes for you? The genius of the idea is that it is difficult for them to do. And so we'll extend the strike so that we can finish our cut scene. Oh, my God. Because as soon as this is over, people are going to... Oh, my God, because all the other stuff. There's movies?

Yeah, because... Movies? Yeah, because, you know, the old saying, Netflix will release its subscriber viewing numbers before Hayes finds a pair of shoes that's that's where that comes no I know yeah yeah it's finally applicable yeah something in my yeah yeah so once they get to the table thank you for releasing these numbers wow these are huge yeah I don't know why you don't know these are very impressed. These are amazing. Congratulations. More people are watching than you even were suggesting.

Oh, my gosh. People love Kissing Booth 4. So, like, good to go. Just one little pair of shoes. Just one other thing. Just a simple pair of shoes. Just do this, and then we'll close up the strike. We'll put away all these.

What are those strike boards called? Shouldn't there be a name for it? Picket sign? Yeah, that's what they're called. Okay. Bye. Bye. Hollywood Handbook.