Hollywood Handbook - Lauren Lapkus, Our Close Friend Again

Episode Date: November 14, 2017

LAUREN LAPKUS is with Sean and Hayes to promote her new show Raised by the TV. This episode is sponsored by Casper (code: HANDBOOK) and Harry's.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Murphy Brown we're reminiscing you remember I played Elton the painter and Jim the sort of senior anchor character and I had to be very buttoned up sometimes and then I had to be kind of painting the building and stuff well her house I was like her handyman but like so anyway

well a house is a building yeah but it sounded like you thought I worked at the news office. No, I said painting the building. I was sort of part of the home life, but it wasn't outside. You would never see me outside her house painting her house. That didn't happen. I was picturing the house.

You'd paint the inside of the house, right? Yeah. But that's a building. But that's not what you said. So I am, and this is sort of some of the conversations we were having, me and Faith and Grant, and we're talking about how fun it was and we're clowning on Dan Quayle when he came at us and just got fucking owned. Yeah. I mean, pwned, but we didn't have that word then. Yeah.

And we're all laughing and we're- You were mad at the time. Yeah the time yeah yeah gave myself shingles yeah but um we were uh laughing but pissed yeah you went insane yeah that's one way to put it i gave myself shingles intentionally. Yeah. And then I sent Dan the photos. So he would feel bad. Yeah. But we're talking about this stuff and we're, of course, chopping wood. Because we're at this cabin, there's no electricity,

and we want to have a fire that night. And Faith is laughing and so distracted that she chops Grant Shaw. She chopped him. Chops him. I mean, chops him, but good. Uh-huh. And he split him, too. She split him, yeah.

Don't let the door hit you where the Faith Ford split you. Yeah, and that's exactly right. So that's where that comes from yeah and i can't help but laugh and go does this remind you a little bit of how we freaking chopped dan quayle up when he tried to come at us for uh certain moral standards and uh meanwhile the whole fucking world's burning down and he can't even spell potato. That would have been good to say at the time. Yeah, what I did say at the time was

I have no cell service, we should call an ambulance. Yeah. You know. But that could have really stuck it to him. And we wound up, we just got to bury this guy. You know, I'm not going back. So he got chopped so hard that he died. He got chopped up and buried.

Yeah, yeah. Sweet guy. Nice guy. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook. An insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet linebacker hallway. So this industry we call showbiz. What up, what up? Lauren Lapkus is here.

She has this show. Am I allowed to speak? Oh my god. I'm sorry you had to wait so long. Am I allowed to talk now? I watched your intro. Loved it. I would have loved to hear from you in that part because we were talking about some of this TV stuff.

Do you hear how we're doing? But this is everyone. These are conversations that everyone has. And that's why I'm so excited about my podcast. People make people sit through a lot of shit on their fucking podcast. They do. I don't think that our intro is that

out of line. It's like part of the guest. You're asking me, why didn't you chime in? Why didn't you speak up? You both had your fingers up to my mouth. Yeah, to say, hold on, don't talk yet. Yes. So I was going, Murphy Brown, but he was always painting. I know what you mean.

She lived in an apartment, not a house. I wish you had chimed in so that I could shut your ass down. Wow. Because that's not what happens during the intro part. And now I want to say I'm sorry for saying that. Can I just say, now that's an apology. I'm sorry for saying that. Can I just say, now that's an apology.

Now that's how you apologize. Honestly, that's the best apology I've ever gotten. When you get an apology like that, you say, all is forgiven. You own up to your shit. That's a man's apology. These stories are true that I held my finger up and told you not to speak. And for me, you saying sorry with that is enough for you to be completely absolved. Well, it's almost like I

didn't do anything. It's better than if you had done nothing. Well, yeah, because a lot of people have done a lot of shit that we don't know about and haven't apologized for jacked shit. But did they learn a big lesson and apologize about it? Like my friend Sean. No one has to apologize if people don't know it yet. Yes. I'm sorry. No, if people don't know it yet. Yes. I'm sorry.

No, if people don't know, then you say, no comment. I have no comment on that. Yeah. And I hope you don't put it together. Yeah. Or that's fake. But once people find out, you say, hey, that wasn't cool of me. Yeah.

Now that's badass. That's a man. Definitely. Hey, look, I did a mistakey. I did a mess up. My dickie fell out of my pantsies. As an example. As an example.

I don't know anyone who's done that. I'm saying, what would you say if you did? If I did that? Well, as soon as I got caught and lost some money, I'd say, hey, I made an oops. That's really cool. Okay? And it's true what you say. Yeah.

I think that's so cool. Really quick. My podcast, my new podcast is called raised by tv and it's with me i love this because i'm always having these conversations and yes and lauren i had done a lot of talking up to that point and it's time for me to finally listen so now do tell me about this okay so yeah just so you can just hear from a woman for a second um i have a podcast with john gabrus, who's a man. I love this. And it's called Raised by TV.

I love this TV stuff. And it is all about our nostalgia from the 80s and 90s, from growing up. TV rules. And we both watched a ton of TV and we remember everything about it. Oh, just being a kid. Or we misremember a lot, but we don't fact check anything and we just scream at each other. I'm obsessed with being a kid. Same.

All I want to do is go back to the 90s. Yeah, remember? I had this really unique, specific experience where I was watching all the most popular shit back then. Okay, you know what? Here's the thing. Here's what's up. You're coming at me really hard

and I don't have to accept it. I will because I need something from you right now, which is that I need to promote on your show. So I'm going to be silent and just accept the way you're treating me. But in a few years I am going to speak out about this. And at that point I will say, Hey, that story's true. I invite her on my podcast. She has a much more popular podcast than I do and is just a more popular personality and it was helping my show

that she was on and I chose to take that opportunity to poke gentle fun at the entire concept of the show she was there to promote and I'll say that story's true and as a man it's time for me to listen yeah so that said, the show's really fun, and I think people are really enjoying it. We've released, by now, a couple episodes. Well, I like the build-up. Well, look. The build-up.

You need build-up. I do want to say, without a little build-up, no one knows anything's coming. And I think people sometimes can be really shocked by things that happen when they don't expect them. So I think it was really helpful for us to kind of give people a moment to get ready for this. A lot of your audience

have like heart conditions. Yeah. Very so. They're gentle souls. They're people who are easily scared and surprised and I didn't want that to happen to them. I didn't want them to feel caught off guard. So I wanted them to feel like, oh, I had proper warning and I got my feed ready and

here it comes and drops in my feed. People don't know the math of this stuff where if you make a 10-episode commitment to a show, that's 20 weeks of buildup. Yeah. Well, look, it's been a huge chunk of my life and I want everyone else to feel that. I want to talk about this, though. People really celebrated when Beyonce just dropped her album overnight with no fanfare. And people were like, oh, that's so brave. And it's like, really?

It's actually very scary. And a lot of people got so scared when they saw that album without having heard about it that they end up in the hospital and dead and crashed their car or their brain blew up. Yeah. I've seen that. Yeah. And it happened to people. A friend of my friend's hairdresser it happened to. No way. That's really close. seen that. Yeah. And it happened to people, a friend of my friend's hairdresser it happened to.

No way, that's really close. Yes. She crashed. Yeah, she crashed. Speaking of crash, I'm on a show called Crashing on HBO, which people can see. And this is great, more TV stuff. Yeah. Isn't it so cool?

Raised by TV, and now you're the one doing the raising. And isn't that interesting? Mm-hmm. And people are getting raised by you on TV right now. Yeah, they are. I mean, I hope children aren't watching Crashing because there's some nudity and some swearing and stuff. But I think at the end of the day, I watched a lot of shit like that and it's fine. So, you know.

Being a stand-up. I'm not. No, yeah. Oh, you were just talking about your experience? Yes. But you're around talking about your experience? Yes. But you're around it a lot on the show. Imagine how much talking about the stand-ups you are hearing. The amount of stand-up.

Pete Holmes, not to name drop. Pete Holmes, TJ Miller, Artie Lang. These people, you know, Beth Stelling, Jamie Lee. These stand-ups around me. The stand-ups, yeah. The amount of stand-up they did just to kind of—stand-ups love to hold court. So they'll get up and they'll grab whatever looks like a mic. This is for your listeners who don't know stand-ups because they'll just grab anything kind of—

A pepper shaker. Yeah. Great. A lamp. They'll stand up on a staircase and start spouting off jokes. Anybody's bust somebody's balls? Yeah jokes. Anybody bust somebody's balls? Yeah, people did bust somebody's balls a bunch. Who?

I don't know if I can say. But yeah, there was a lot of ball busting. Yeah. Oh, for me? Well, no. Behind the scenes, if people feel safe, you're not going to share this. If they want to actually crack stones, bust balls, if they want to really freaking give someone the business that Lauren Lapkus ain't going to go run tell that.

That's the thing, because I think when you can't trust someone with a secret, then who can you trust? You know what I mean? If you can't trust someone with a secret, I totally agree. You know what I mean? And then what do you do? I trust people with secrets all the time. Really?

Yeah. I go, don't tell anybody about this. Your dog is chasing his tail. Yeah, he got it. That's really classic. Yeah. I have a question about, because you mentioned T.J. Miller. So classic.

Classic dog. I have a little question about the world of crashing. Classic dog move. So when your character meets T.J TJ Miller, you say to Pete Holmes, why are you friends with TJ Miller now? And you say that being someone who in the show is pretty much completely outside of the world of stand-up and comedy, not interested in entertainment. But you are part of that world.

So are you sort of bringing this at Lauren? No, what that is. But I have a question. But I have an actual question. Oh, okay. Because I had an answer. That's fine. But I'm in the middle of my question.

That's fine. So you say that about TJ. Uh-huh. And you clearly know him. And you're in a show that's on HBO. Right. And most people who know him know him from Silicon Valley. Right.

But in the world of crashing, the show Silicon Valley doesn't appear to exist. Everyone seems to know him from other projects because I think it would have maybe been weird to be talking about Silicon Valley like right before it's on. And production maybe wasn't going well in Silicon Valley at that time. We don't know.

We don't know. We don't know. My character, and I did do an extensive backstory for my character with pages and pages and pages. That's why I asked. I spent hours and hours kind of writing personal diaries and things. And this is exactly why I asked. Right, and this is what I'm telling you.

So I, for TJ specifically, my character loves the Yogi Bear film and thought he had a great turn in that film. And looked up his name, Ion IMDB, kind of followed his career, watched a bunch of his stand-up videos, thought he was funnier than her husband, and clocked that. And so it kind of gave her a perspective on whether her husband was good at stand-up or not. I love when guys are clocking stuff on TV. She clocked that and then kind of packed that. You see the face and then you see the thing. Yeah. Like the piece of fruit or whatever and it's like, oh, she's clocking it. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. So does that answer your question? A little. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So you seem just really defensive. I don't know, like, I've been on your show a couple times and I think you do have a tendency to be that way, not to be rude.

But I really honestly feel it so much right now. And this is after your apology. So I'm just wondering if maybe you're feeling weird that you confessed or like— What I'm hearing is—and just I'm telling you what I'm hearing. Yeah. Sean, you're called your Santa offish. You have bad personality. Okay.

Your physical posture shuts people out. Right. You seem almost like you're hiding something. You didn't do a good apology. And your question about TJ Miller wasn't good, and I would have rather answered the one that Hayes cut in with halfway through. So that's what I'm hearing. Yeah.

Let me tell you what I'm saying. Okay. I'm sorry. Oh, my God. Wow. That story is true. I am rocked by this. That story is true.

It's hard for me to listen. And Sean wins. Sorry. Sorry. You got fucked up by that apology. Well, that's what's so crazy is that sometimes an apology is better. It makes you the winner. Than anything.

Like, I was the one hurt, and then somehow you won because of how you phrased that. It's almost better that I was so unpleasant to be around for the whole. Yeah. Well, it makes you seem like your actions weren't that big of a deal, actually. And that, like, I think in some ways you're forgiven. I'm goofing around. I'm goofing. Yeah.

You know? And he can't help it. And we feel sorry for him. Yeah. I'm so fucking damaged. Well, and of course you don't know what you're doing. You know, you don't know how much harm you could cause somebody by just the way you talk. And it's messed up stuff from his family.

Please. Can you imagine some of what I've been through? I can't. And I'd love for you to explain a little bit about what made you who you are because Hayes here seems really down to earth, gentle, honest. I would love to have more interesting stuff to share about me. Hayes has a background where he is used to collaborating. He, of course,

took classes at Second City. Yes. Wow, so that is a great way to kind of just boost your resume, get some public speaking skills. So that's why I initially did it was to be more brave at work.

Yeah. But gradually, I start to do years and years and years of these classes. These classes. Thousands of dollars. And people are saying, what's the end game here?

And I'm saying, well, I'm trying to be brave at work. And then they say, well, maybe you could actually do a real show or something. Like do... Like a comedy show. Yeah, do like a real big comedy show on the real the seconds of the famous stage so crazy so did you achieve stage that uh i try i pitched a lot of different shows at all the different theaters um because i was you know sort of bouncing around was this in la or chicago or this was in vegas i did one uh i pitched one in vegas um and then pitched one in the Dallas theater.

Okay, so that one's really like off the beaten path. Which is affiliated but not really. But it's where they're doing the most experimental stuff. Well, it's spelled differently. It's called SC, but it's spelled E-S-S-S-E-E. Yeah. But everyone's supposed to know. Yeah, well, and those who know teach.

Yeah. So – And that sort of ironed out a lot of my personality stuff, and that's how I became such a nice, normal guy. It was not very much fun. He learned to collaborate. He learned to interact. Now, my background is completely different. Yeah, so what is that?

I didn't get to do that. Well, you know, obviously you say, wow, you seem kind of frosty. You seem kind of domineering and above it all. And I would say, well, I went to Harvard. Okay. You know, me and all my rich cronies. I remember when I was pledging for finals clubs. I wanted to join the Phoenix, you know.

And I got the note slid under my door and I turned to either Reginald or Dorchester and I said, at long last, compadre, I've been tapped. And then Reginald just was, he was like setting money on fire because we all had so much money. We're all these rich. Oh, that's really unrelatable. Yeah. And he was like, Phoenix Club.

He was like, I heard they let some people in who are not like us. And then he made this like symbol with his hand that I have come to know to be a very mean symbol. And I don't want to say what it

means on here. What, the middle finger? Yes. Yes. Okay. And it's... I know what it means. Yeah, there's like a two word phrase in particular that it's supposed to mean. It means fuck you. Oh, I thought it was like sit on it.

Sit and spin. Sit and spin. Sit on this and rotate. Sit and spin. Better go all the way around. And that's a commercial from TV you guys could probably talk about. Think about doing that with the sit and spin. You know, we have an episode dedicated to commercials that was a blast.

Shut up. Yeah, so that'll be out in a few weeks. You do the Vianetta commercial? No, what's that? Oh, you got to watch it. But anyway, Vianetta. What about the ones with Danny DeVito and George Clooney? Oh, those are great, but a little past the time that we're really talking about.

Those are more recent. Well, that could be more fun for people. Vianetta's a fun. Because they actually have seen these recently and they're remembering them. No, no. I feel, no. Vianetta's a fun layered ice cream treat. Okay, well, let's see what happens.

I would love to see. It's very fancy. So put out the show. It's already doing. And fun layered ice cream tree. Okay, well, let's see what happens. I would love to see. It's very fancy. So put out the show and then get back to me. Well, I tell you, it's out and it's doing really well. The commercials one? It's very fancy, this ice cream tree. No, the show itself. Okay, so why don't you put out the commercials one and then why don't we have another chat?

Okay. You can't get in more. It's kind of commercials and toys. And see what people say. Commercials and toys. And maybe people listening can make recommendations for commercials they would have liked to have heard in that episode. There's a problem with the Viennetta that's illustrated by the commercial, which is that there's basically not enough of it to go around. Okay, so—

And people want more. That's interesting. It's a kind of fancy treat that me and my Rich Harvard buddies would eat. But anyway, it's very hard for me to talk to people, normal people, who haven't had all the doors just blown open for them. So that's why you are kind of the way you are. So bold and kind of just acting without thinking of consequence. Because I've been so insulated from it my whole life. But I will say, I'll excuse you a little bit, because that stuff you were doing, you were like 20 years old or whatever.

I mean, at Second City, guys, me and my friends are being like disgusting idiots and we're like 29 sometimes even like 30 years old yeah i think age does play a role like it does make a little bit of a difference when you did it in your life um but not so much because i have um memories of people being disgusting to me, and they were in their 20s, and I don't think it's acceptable. When is it cool? Is this a TV thing? When is it cool and funny to be like that? Probably when you're either really old, because as we saw, the former president was hilarious with that, or when you're just a baby. A little baby saying, like, fuck you, mom.

Like the landlord. Do you remember the landlord? Do you remember the landlord? I mean. That could actually be something to talk about too. Remember baby Herman? Can I just say? Yes.

Is he on TV? Yes. Rather than. That's funny. All this stuff that like is kind of old, this TV stuff, to talk about the landlord. So quite opposite, in many ways, of what we're doing is the landlord. That's the opposite.

You think that's the opposite. Well, it's a web video from the 2000s. So the opposite of TV is TV that's on the computer. No. Starring Will Ferrell. No. And you actually think computer. No. Starring Will Ferrell. No. And you actually think that. No.

The opposite of TV is a sketch video online decades after the time that I'm interested in focusing on. Now you watch SNL. I do every week, baby. Yeah. Every week, baby. It's crazy what they're doing, huh? You guys talk about that? We do.

Actually, we do have an episode that will touch on that program, but not the current day. I don't know. This cast is my cast. Yeah, the stuff that people actually care about. What's your favorite current SNL sketch? Probably when Larry David talks about Holocaust stuff. That was hilarious.

That was cool. That was cool. Making it sexy. Yeah. I like some of the ones where they're auditioning for the Marvel movie and stuff and it's just a bunch of different crazy people to audition for this. I like when

they just sing a song. I was going to say I like when it's just a song. It's just a song that I know and they're well I don't want it to be a band though I want it to be one of the cast members

and I want them to just be singing a song when it's like an important historical thing I want that to be the entirety of the idea because I was thinking my favorite part

is when there's like a band and they do a song I love those sketches where it's like a band just singing one of their popular songs it's very funny it can be yeah funnier when the cast does it no no they're not necessarily

trained singers yeah i think that's probably true but that this kind of thing you know like see how we're having like this good conversation about this new stuff that people actually like and they really care about so do you not like remember well were one of those kids who didn't get to have TV when he was little. No, I actually was raised by TV. Okay, so you were. So you really relate, actually, to the team. And I was like a latchkey kid.

Okay, so that's perfect for what we're talking about because- And I would microwave food and stuff. Okay, so that's so relatable and actually a lot of what we get into. And I'd sit on the floor in a little cowboy suit with my little plastic gun. I'd sit cross-legged on the floor. And I'd watch all this public domain black and white television. Watch the Indians. They were shooting guns at the Indians. And I'd take my little guns and go pew, pew, pew.

And then in the background, people are having sex. And I was like Tom Mix and the Cisco Kid. And people are having sex on the couch behind you, right? Well, yeah, my sister. Yeah. That's nuts. And her boyfriend, the babysitter. Yeah. Yeah, I remember being raised by TV.

And my parents would just go like, hey, your babysitter's here. And they'd literally turn on the TV. And then I'd get down in front of there with a can of beans and in my little sailor suit and I would watch like people swimming or sailing. Yes, the synchronized swimming shows. Yes. That was a thing. See, in my family, my mom would kind of say, here's dinner.

And then she'd put me in a room full of cereal and just throw me into it. So I'd have to eat my way out. Oh, wow. And I'd be in there for days, and the TV, of course, would be on, and it would be raising me. It's hard to see or hear the TV, but it is raising you. Yeah, absolutely. Of course, because it's my only moral compass.

And it's probably raising you, too, a little bit with some of these cereals. Raising me? Yeah, Raisin Bran, of course, Two scoops of sunshine raisins. I remember getting woken up at four in the morning and being told, time to go to school. And then my parents would turn on the TV, okay? And they'd put me in front of the TV with a book, and I was supposed to write in the book what was on the TV. That is good school. Yeah. And I was raised in a way by the TV and educated by it.

Well, in so many ways, I had to get every bit of advice I could from the TV as my parents had kind of decided that it would raise me. And so when I came home from college, I would visit the TV and just give it a hug, and it would play some of my old memories on Nick at Night or different channels that kind of focused on the past. Picture this. My mom's like, wake up. You've got to go to the doctor.

Sits me down in front of the TV. I watch a still image of Felix the Cat for three hours and I'm dressed like Felix the Cat as well. That was the doctor for me. One thing that my parents would do a lot of times when it was time to go to the nutritionist is they would put

two TVs on the back of two horses facing in separate directions and really long extension cords. They would then tie me between these horses and they would slap them both on the ass and send them running. And I would get stretched out. Like Stretch Armstrong. I would get stretched out.

Like Stretch Armstrong. I don't know that. But what happened to me is I would get sort of elongated and in a way raised by TV. That's interesting. Just to quickly just get into what I was talking about, this would be kind of something we probably talk about on the show. I don't think we actually got into Stretch Armstrong. Maybe we did.

But it was a toy. You keep saying this. Okay. Yeah. It was a toy. Yeah. Can I just finish? No.

Okay. You know what? Hey, I'm sorry. And it's time for me to listen. Oh, so awesome. That rocks. That was really awesome. That's so cool.

Honestly, I don't even want to say my point anymore because I just want to acknowledge that that was really, really cool how you fessed up kind of and understood what you did wrong and then gave me the floor. It was really big. And for anyone who thinks that my actions on this podcast reflect poorly on my co-host slash manager, Hayes Davenport. Oh, that's interesting.

I just got to say, he's just trying to mediate this thing. Yeah. That's all he's doing. That's my job. It's my job to mediate tough situations like this. Yeah. Can I say, instead of this Stretch Armstrong stuff, it's old and it sucks.

She hasn't even got to say what it is. Maybe instead, that's what I'm saying, instead of talking about that, you could talk about another guy who stretches. Mr. Fantastic played by Miles Teller. Okay, you know, for me, that's not that interesting.

Teller should have been the torch. I saw him in Whiplash. Wow. I thought that was good. Okay, that's fine. You know, that's kind of old. Good start. Yeah, you're getting a lot closer.

What's that one where he was like a romantic? Bleed for this. Thank you for your service. Bleed for this. No, no. It was like a... The boxing one? That awkward moment?

No. That awkward moment. That is what you're thinking about. I think he was in this. No, no. It was like a... The boxing one? That awkward moment? No. That awkward moment. That is what you're thinking about. I think he was in this. It was like him and a girl and teenagers. Spectacular now.

Yeah. Didn't see it. I saw that. And you know, that was... Just kidding. I did. Oh my God.

And you could do this on the show. You believed I didn't see a Miles Teller movie? You know what? I don't need you to fucking lie to me. Hey.

Don't be mad because your show is making so many mistakes. Don't bring it back to me. He just lied to everyone and then confessed that he lied, but we didn't even get into it. Now we're just breezing past lies and acknowledgments. We need to spend time on this stuff. These lies are true. Okay okay so what does that mean they're not lies or that you did lie hayes can you man i will say he already did a bunch of big apologies so now if new stuff comes

out i don't think he has to like now come back and apologize again are Are you saying, okay, here's my question. And I mean, I kind of feel like I know where this is going, but because you acknowledge that you did lie and that you did say and do all the rude things that have happened just in the few minutes I've been on this

show, does that make it, like, for a second I thought it made it okay but then i'm thinking about like let's think about you know not to make it really serious but someone like bill cosby who raped many many women but has denied denied denied and so if you were to say he did it is that okay um not to make it serious it's double jeopardy okay unfortunately so actually if you know the law and i'm not saying the law is good or bad, but I do have friends who are policemen, and so I do know what the law is.

Okay. So that's how you know. And so it's double jeopardy. Yeah. So what does that mean? If he were to come out and say that he did it, the judge would have to say that it was okay. Why?

Because it was double jeopardy. Because double jeopardy. Because Double Jeopardy. What does that mean? Well, so, you guys can maybe talk about this Ashley Jeb movie, Double Jeopardy. You know what, though? I feel like you're kind of pulling it away from the point,

which is more that Sean has been offending me so fucking much. And look, we've only been here for a few minutes. We haven't been here that long. And it still makes me wonder all the ways in which you offend out in the world all the time. I remember back when I was at Harvard, one of the ways that they would make sure that you were allowed to go to the airport and buy a round-trip ticket to China same day, which was the most expensive airplane ticket you could get,

and then you'd have to bring it to the finals club and set it on fire in front of them. And it was just a way to show that you didn't give a fuck about money and that you knew that you were always going to be okay. I will say this for you, Lauren. As you know, I produce a lot of shows. I'm not sure I do know. Well, I think maybe you've heard of a little show

called Premium Blend that I produce. Yeah, I grew up on that for sure. I watched a ton of that. It's hard to picture you getting a spot on Premium Blend if we're having these kind of conversations. Is this the kind of stuff we're going to be saying on Premium Blend? It's a to picture you getting a spot on Premium Blend. Uh-oh. If we're having these kind of conversations. Here's the thing. Is this the kind of stuff we're going to be saying on Premium Blend? It's a comedy show.

I don't do stand-up. You know, and let me tell you that again. Well, yeah. This is the second time. And it's going to change anytime soon. I think I know why. I think I know why. Okay, so you think I'm being blackballed from the stand-up community because I want to speak out?

I got to say, Lauren, your humor would be perfect for a show like this. For Premium Blend? I think your humor would fit in so well on a show like this. Thank you. You could do some

of the TV stuff. If we made it, if we updated it a little bit to the present day, people could really enjoy this TV stuff. To not have the opportunity to get your stuff on there

just because, you know, he's kind of the guy who produces it. I would hate for that to happen. And I'd pick some of the guys. So I've apologized. hate for that to happen. And I pick some of the guys. So I've apologized. So it's all guys that you pick? I call everyone guys.

Okay, I'm just checking. Hey, you guys. I think that you have gotten some apologies from me, which were really good and which really kind of won. And so for you to keep kind of telling this story about me like lying to you or being nasty to you or whatever you think I did on this podcast is like maybe a bad idea. Lauren, can I ask you a question?

Have you ever been a guest on The Goreberger Show? No. Yeah, I know. I produce it. Okay. You know, I've heard a lot about that show. I'm not going to get into it. You know. I was raised by it.

In many ways, I was too. R-A-Z-E-D. Yeah, sure. I was completely burned from that. To the ground. Oh, wow. In many ways. Just by the eviscerating humor.

Right. When you say you've heard about some of the allegations against Gorberger, is that what you're saying? You know, Gorberger himself, the character, or the puppet, the real puppet. Do you know what I mean? Are you saying or are you asking me? I'm asking. And this is not the conversation that we should be having if we want to be a guest on Gorberger's show. But see, this is okay.

This is not the kind of thing we talk about on the Gorberger burger show or on premium blend as the producer it's your job to be your you since you know about all the rudeness of your friend it's your job to then go out publicly and condemn your friend can i just say right now we have have an empty seat on Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. That's a great show. We have an empty chair. And by the way, that show, Uncensored, you just say what's on your mind. Because it's just your buddies. That's cool.

That's really neat. I'd love to be on that. Next to Nick DiPaolo. Okay, that's great. I'd love to be on that show. I know.Paolo. Okay, that's great. I'd love to be on that show. I know. I produce it. So you've gotten my letters?

Yes. I didn't realize that those were going to you. I didn't know you were. That's what a producer does. They read the mail. Look, you guys, I don't want to fight with you. I want a career. I'm going to put it out there.

I want to have success. I think your humor would fit in perfectly on Tough Crowd. Well, then put me on. Well, how are we going to do that? Zip it, Scotty, don't. Yeah, I mean, I guess I promise I won't. Scotty, don't. Okay, I don't know what that is.

Knock, knock. Who's there? See, this is. Zip it. So you're quoting Austin Powers. Yeah. So you do know what it is. Okay.

I just gaslighting me. I know. I was raised by Austin Powers. Did you see? Did you just gaslighting me? Yeah. Women can't gaslight. Oh, I would say that women

can do anything they want to do. Because it's like a car thing? You think women are good with cars? No! I don't think that. You know what? I'm going to give you both a hand symbol. That means something that really might hurt your feelings. Oh, God!

Oh, no! She did the in her mouth. Oh, no, she did the $1 million. Oh, no. Crushing. Oh, wow, that's really funny. Sit and spin on that. Kill on Premium Blend or on Shorty's Watching Shorties. Yes, you can do short. Which, by the way, he produces it.

I want to be on Bebe's Kids. Okay, that I can't help you with. Disrespectful. I think, yeah. Yeah, everyone can do that. Which, by the way, he produces it. I want to be on Bebe's Kids. Okay, that I can't help you with. Disrespectful. I think, yeah. Everyone in the cast is dead. They're all dead. Okay, well. The Bebe's curse.

Look, I guess what I'm trying to say is I wish I was dead because everything I've experienced with you has been so, so, I feel like I've been in a prison. The last, what have we been talking for 30 minutes or something? I've been in a prison. We've just been talking about some of our favorite TV shows. And that's what you want to say. And how we were raised by TV.

You want to make it that you've just been talking and it's fine. I've been personally offended multiple times. And you've apologized and said that it was true that you offended me. In a ruling ass way. What I need is a written apology tomorrow. That's great. That's a good timeline.

Do you get THR? THR, the Hollywood Reporter? Yeah, you get the big glossy. Of course, I'm subscribed to THR, Variety, Deadline Magazine. Maybe check it out tomorrow when the mail comes. Sean has kind of an apology column that he's doing. Yeah, just every week I put out a new apology.

To different people? Or whatever. So is it kind of like Jimmy Fallon's thank you cards? They could just be to anything? I mean, thank you to think that I could do something on the level of Jimmy Fallon's thank you cards. I don't think that. I don't think that you could. I don't think that you could.

Can you hear me? I don't think that you could. There's like a blurb for the column. We're doing blurbs for the column now. Oh, just to kind of promote it? Yes. Inside the column. Oh, okay. And so to say, this's just to kind of promote it? Yes. Inside the column. Oh, okay.

And so to say like, this is like Jimmy Fallon thank you cards, Lauren Lapkus. Wouldn't that be cool? No, it's is this like Jimmy Fallon? And we use the sound clip. Just the quote is,

is this like Jimmy Fallon thank you cards? Question mark in quotes. But we cut off before the question mark. Okay. Well, what if we just say like Jimmy Fallon

thank you cards? Yeah. And that is actually from your quote. That's manipulative, and I don't appreciate it. That's the media, baby. You're in the all spin zone. You think you're a smooth talker. You think you can get out of all this shit.

I'm not going to forget anything that's happened here today. I'm not accepting your apologies. I'm going to go out into the world and I'm going to publicly state all of the things that you did to me and that you do to listeners on a weekly basis. She said that she's not going to forget it, but this is kind of a raised by

TV thing. What if we use a men in black zapper on you? Oh gosh. Remember on TV when the men in black would zap you? I did see that on TV. Yeah. I mean, I've never seen that movie, so I don't know. It's kind of like—

Only seen the third one. It's a boy movie, so I feel like— You're like me, only seen the third one? Yeah, I've only seen the third one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was right on time. You know—

It's a boy movie, and yet Laura San Giacomo is in it? Okay. I think that's a great point. Interesting to think about. Oh, Laura Flynn Boyle's in a boy movie and yet Laura San Giacomo is in it. Okay. That's a great point. Interesting to think about. Oh, Laura Flynn Boyle's in a boy movie. I don't feel respected here. I'm just going to say it. We're here just talking about how great your show is and how we love to talk about your show.

You haven't said my show is great this whole fucking time. And being raised by TV. You've been saying, why don't you make it like this? The way you have it's boring. That's a bad idea. Yeah, well, that's what the show is now and now it's good. Well, no, but we already recorded

a bunch of episodes. It has to be what it was. The show's so close to being great. It just needs a little tweak. It's circling great. Have you listened to it? Hmm? Have you listened to the show?

I mean, well, hang on. My dog wants to come in. No, he doesn't. It's really dangerous if he doesn't come in when he wants, hang on. My dog wants to come in. No, he doesn't. It's really dangerous if he doesn't come in when he wants. Okay, so he did want to come in, which honestly I was surprised by because I didn't hear anything. He could get really sick if we just left him out there. Yeah. And that's what you wanted to do.

I didn't know really. I didn't know all the facts. And so that's unfair. Oh, I'm so happy with my little doggie. And instead of apologizing, Lauren's actually digging a deeper hole. And it's actually the cover-up that's the worst part. And she tried to make a dog really sick.

And I noticed that you haven't apologized to me at all. Let's talk about my feelings. Can I just talk about something? You brought this dog in here, and now you're trying to look like you're just like, I love a dog. I'm so cute. Look at me.

It really humanizes him. You have to admit. It really did. Very smart. But I can see through it. Okay. So it's not working for me. I get what you're trying to do. I don't buy it for one goddamn second. And I'm not going to apologize for you to you

for anything because I didn't do anything to you. She said goddamn. Yeah. Is that bad? Is that bad? That's a segment we do on this show sometimes. Do you want to do it now? We only do it with Aaron Gibson. Yeah. Okay, well then, that's fine.

I don't really care. What segment do you want us to only do with you? I want you to do a segment I like to call, here's a bunch of money for the way that I hurt you. And you will then give me a bunch of money every time I'm on the show. Like eight grand? More.

Definitely more. Okay. Say a higher number. Okay. Nine grand. Higher than that. Okay. Wow, she's gonna to be really rich. Yeah, this doesn't seem fair.

She becomes rich? Yeah. Maybe we do a Patreon. Nine grand doesn't make someone rich. Wow. Whoa. You sound like my fucking Harvard cronies. I'm just saying, nine grand goes quickly

you know can we just talk about not when you get it every time somebody like talks over you or whatever nice TV shows this is what the

I want to talk about that I'd love to just talk more about my show Raised by TV which is here on the Airwolf Network and it is what's an example

of one of the shows it's free download one of the shows that we talk about yeah Full House so you guys talk about, Full House. So you guys talk about, oh, Fuller House. No, the original.

Oh, yeah. DJ Tanner. But it's Stephanie Tanner is a DJ in this version. Yeah. She's a famous DJ. So it's like, I'm DJ Tanner. No, I'm DJ Tanner. Yeah.

That is funny. But we talk more about the old, the original, kind of how they got their start. How about when they all look at the camera and they're like, Michelle couldn't make it. Yeah, that was funny. I watched it. I have to admit. You know, actually, I'm going to say that is all true. We got to talk about it.

I just did watch, I did watch the pilot of Fuller House. Man, that raised me. It raised me in many ways, and I actually have to just send out a little apology here. I kind of wrote you guys off when you brought up Fuller House right when I said Full House just because I was really stuck to my point, you know, what I was trying to make. But you're having fun.

And at the end of the day, I was having fun and you guys were a good time with it. And so I just wanted to apologize and say, hey, sorry. Hey. Hey. I loved getting that apology. That was really cool. I just got freaking destroyed by that. I guess I got to go back in my little troll.

And you sort of own us now. I pwn you. Yeah, we got pwned. And that could be another cool thing to talk about is these eSports. You know, I don't really. You're a producer. Because they're being on TV now more and more no no

I know that stuff is being on TV we're doing more of this stuff the shorties are playing esports now all I'm trying to say is that you're a producer and I respect your position

however you produce a bunch of shit that's not really exactly my style and so I'm not really too concerned with the notes

you have for my show y'all talk about Ted 2 on this show no no it's completely out of show. Y'all talk about Ted 2 on this show? No. Oh. It's completely out of the wheelhouse what we talk about. But I've seen it on TV. Okay.

You know, at the time, that movie didn't come out yet. Okay. Okay. So it's... I'm getting closer, though, right? What's like the freshest thing that you guys want to talk about on your show? Fresh Prince. Okay. Okay.

Well, I guess I deserve that one. Okay. And I'm giving it up. Do you guys know the theme song to that? Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Do you want to sing it with me? Oh, the whole thing?

Yeah. Yeah. Hang on. Hang on. Let me get in the zone. Should I do the beat? Yeah. Give me the beat. Slow it down.

Need a slower beat. Ready? And take it down a notch west philadelphia no no no that's not how it goes yeah i thought this was your idea it was and i i honestly honestly think you guys are wrong. Because I know that song really well. Wait, well, hang on.

The Fresh Prince. You're talking about Joffrey, right? Joffrey. No, I don't watch that show. Oh, you don't get much fresher than him. He could be real nasty. He was mouthing off a lot. Okay, I don't...

Give him a red smile. Does that mean you kill him? Yeah, that's what he said. Okay, I don't care. Let's put a red smile on that face. You have to watch it. I don't care about that show. Are you being so serious?

Want to know how I got this red smile? Yeah. You don't care about that show? No. Hmm. No, I don't. I don't care. I'll never watch it.

Fuck you guys. Okay. Now we're getting somewhere. And already people are listening to this and they're writing off Raised by TV and that was not my intention. See, I think you're actually completely mistaken. I think by this point they've turned this off and started playing Raised by TV because it sounded way better than this. To go after the last vestige of the monoculture, King Joffrey Show. I mean, honestly, the last true water cooler show we have.

It's a dinosaur. It's carried over. No one goes to a water cooler anymore. Oh, really? Yeah, everyone drinks a lot of bottles. Well, I guess you don't work in a shitty office like I do. No, I don't. And dinosaur is.

I don't. Speaking of dinosaurs, drinking around water coolersers that dinosaurs show is probably something you guys we do talk about dinosaurs I love that show not the mama etc etc we get into it

much more hardcore that was a very fresh baby that's a good example of a baby that could be really nasty yeah and I thought in many ways

I thought the teenage brother was hot oh right sure he was a dinosaur but I think I would have sex with him. Right. He'd probably use those spikes on his head to do something wild. Yeah, it'd be pretty fucking cute. Yeah.

Dude. Hey, get out of that. Give me that Letterman jacket. Oh, yeah. I know. Wear that the next day. My walk of shame. Oh, okay.

I can see that this could be fine. Okay. Well, now all of a sudden I'm listening to Raised by TV. What else about the dinosaurs?. I spelled the dinosaurs. You've spelled the dinosaurs? What else about the dinosaurs? And what, Gabrus tells a story

about high school sports or something when he hears that? Yeah, Gabrus, you know, definitely talk about his experiences with binge drinking and...

Long Island. Long Island. I'm drunk. I swam. His experiences with his siblings and we delve into the many ways in which his parents were not home and what that led he and his bros to do. Yeah, so you know. They talk about going bathroom. Going bathroom?

We get into that a little bit because, you know, you have to do it during the commercial. Yeah. So. Sometimes they'll talk about taking the number two. Sure. I mean, yeah, Gabrist is pretty quick to share a number two story. Mm-hmm. He takes a bunch of dumps.

I think one of the highlights of his life is the fact that he and his wife have two separate bathrooms. Yeah, I've heard a lot about that. They can both take a number two. Or she can be doing her makeup while he drops a deuce. Yeah. Do you only know number two as a way to describe it? Because I can think of about 20 ways, but you've said take a number two like a bunch of times and so i was just wondering if you knew other ways to

say that do a number two okay should we talk about our favorite tv shows yeah do you guys ever talk about on raised by tv that show um pretzel rod but the cartoon with the boy, Rodney, and he was like a big, he was a pretzel. No, no. And he's voiced by Doug Stanhope. No. He's trying not to get soggy, but it's puberty. But what that makes me think of is Stick Stickly.

Oh, okay. The popsicle stick character that you would see in Nickelodeon. Is he sort of a kid notorious figure? Yeah. And, oh, I think your dog is releasing some elements. He having some gas? It's very doggy.

He probably got a good number too. Classic dog move. But, yeah, we'd go, you know, do you know the song from Stick Stickly? Do you guys remember that guy? It's sort of like a Kid Notorious song. Write to me, Stick Stickly, P.O. Box 963,

New York City, New York State, 10108. No, I think the Kid Notorious song went a little bit like this. Slow it down. song went a little bit like this. I supported Roman Polanski, baby. So that It's weird to say that you like Sticks Stickly Because he did such a strong pro-Roman Polanski position It was before we knew He thought it was a good idea

It was before we knew Oh, okay Before we knew you couldn't do that Yeah, it was a different time, you know I think consent has come a long way It's due And so now it's clear what that means But in the past

No, I don't mean no we didn't have yeah these phones and stuff that we could look up what it means on right you know you remember back then when you just had a question and you couldn't even look it up on your phone right so think of all the men who didn't know how to am i supposed to be doing this right now you can't google that yes it was a simpler time in many ways because you didn't sit there Googling everything. You're facing your screen. They didn't know. You just looked somebody right in the eye and you said like, hey, shut up.

Yes. Yeah. You could actually talk to someone and have a conversation and tell them not to tell people about something. Yeah. Not like today. No. Today you can't control what anyone does or says. and tell them not to tell people about something. Yeah. Not like today. No. Today you can't control what anyone does or says.

But that's interesting. And so that's what you talk about on Raised by TV. Yeah, favorite TV show. Basically, yeah. What's your favorite TV show? She said the Roman Polanski one. So that's what she likes? Hmm.

You know what I like to watch? That Bill O'Reilly. Do you guys ever talk about that? No, we don't really get into that kind of current stuff. I'm going to just say it as if I've never said it before. We talk about the 80s and 90s mainly. Maybe a little bit of early 2000s. But it really won't go past that. So anything you're referencing that is past that.

Well, he was on Inside Edition and stuff why don't you talk about that Inside Edition isn't really a show that kids were loving at the time hard copy I remember watching it for sure so I was pwned I'm also admitting that I did watch it

that is true you're pwning yourself I'm trying to apologize to you right now oh wow I didn't realize so That is true. I did watch Hard Copy. You're pwning yourself. No, I'm trying to apologize to you right now. Oh, wow. I didn't realize. Okay. So now is my time to listen

and I just want you to tell me. Can we get another apology which is to Kevin and you haven't even pointed out that he is getting to be the big engineer for this show. Can you please say this to Kevin? Hey, Kevin,

I love you and I'm in love with you. You want me to say that to Kevin? I would think we'd all be a little more comfortable. Well, honestly, I think that might make Kevin uncomfortable because we work together, and that would be kind of sexual harassment. Love is only sexual to you? To say I'm in love?

I'm sorry. Hayes, I love you, and I'm in love with you. Sean, I love you, and I'm in love with you. We're having sex right now. Okay, but you might later. Or you're both married, and your wives might be offended by that. I didn't. I mean, no one has said that to me.

Have you been hearing that we might? That you might be having sex outside of this? Yeah. We really might do that later? Later today? Yeah, I heard that. Oh. I heard it in your tone.

Whoa. And so it's implied. There's something underlying. And that's the thing that makes it scary. So unless I just say, hey, Kevin. No one told me. I had some stuff that I was supposed to be. Yeah, I've got like a

bunch of errands to do. I had a car, some kind of car thing I was supposed to be doing. So I think you're going to have sex right after this because you're in love with each other and that's fine. Right after I'm going to have lunch. Why do you have to have lunch before you have sex? Because I need fuel.

Oh my god. Lunch is sex fuel. This ain't a beer belly, it's a gas tank for a sex machine. Okay, so you like to have sex right after you eat. Can we please get to the point which is that we love Kevin and we are in love with him. You are! That's what you wanted

me to, okay, so tell Kevin that. I say it all the time You are. That's what you wanted me to. Okay, so tell Kevin. I say it all the time to Kevin. Kevin, do you have a response? You don't have to say anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Okay, because I don't want, we work together and I don't want to make you feel weird. Kevin, I think we normally don't have to do this, but Kevin, I think it would make her feel better if you said it to her first. No, I don't want Kevin to say that to me. What I'm trying to tell you.

You're trying to tell people who they can love? No, I don't want Kevin to say that to me. What I'm trying to tell you... You're trying to tell me who they can love? No, no, no. What I'm trying to tell you is that I'm at work right now. This is my office. Earwolf Studios, okay? And if I have to walk in here and have someone tell me they're in love with me, I'm not going to be able to function.

And I might quit my job and ruin my fucking career because of it, okay? Because it would make your heart go insane? No, because I'd be so uncomfortable that I wouldn't want to come here ever again and I'd just stop doing all my favorite creative passions. Wow. What must it feel like to not

You guys want to talk about your favorite creative passions? Anyone or be in love with anyone instead of me who loves everyone and is in love with everyone that's not what I'm saying a lot of my art comes from a place of love

and it shows in my work my work is a love letter to humanity so you know I will say both of the work that you guys the work that both of you

produce involves a lot of belittling women talking down to them you know kind of shutting them up and so I'm wondering if that is a reflection

on the way because you're treating me this way the whole time wait women or everybody yeah the shorties take no prisoners up and so I'm wondering if that is a reflection on the way because you're treating me this way the whole time. Wait women or everybody? The shorties take no prisoners they are babies

that mouth off which you said you liked and Premium Blend has had women on it before. Okay. Laura Keitlinger was on it. I'm sure Laura Keitlinger Kathleen Madigan. Ever heard of Wendy Liebman? Yeah, Wendy Liebman has been on it.

Sure, that's great. But it feels like there's been a lot of apologies, take it back, be rude again, apologies again. It's this vicious cycle that I'm afraid we'll never get out of. Well, in my love letter to humanity, which is my work, In my love letter to humanity, which is my work, I always like to say, hey, why does the cycle got to be vicious? Can't it just be a cycle? Okay, it's a hot take, definitely.

It's interesting. I don't think you even understand it. Me? It's just a very abstract. It's the language we use. You know what? I have a good brain. Can I say that's why I love you and I'm in love with you? That's inappropriate.

No, that's really inappropriate. I don't like. I'm not going to say it. I just. Just being like, you know. I know. Kevin, say it to me. I thought it would help.

Yeah, Kevin, say it to me. I love you and I'm in love with you. Wow. See, wasn't that so nice? That felt nice, huh? I don't mind witnessing it in others if they enjoy it, but what I'm telling you is that... What if you practice on Bosch? Do you want to watch other people do it?

I don't need to say that I love anyone at work or that I'm in love with anyone at work. Yeah, well, Bosch isn't really working here. He's like lying down, you know, passing a little gas. Is July out there? Yeah. Can you yell to July? I got it. Me?

Yeah, I got it. July, can you come in here? Thanks. He's coming. Lauren, are you doing anything fun this weekend? Yeah, I'm doing AskCAT tonight at UCB. Yeah. And I have a workout class that I'm going to before that.

Hayes, because of his Second City entanglements, would prefer that we don't talk about ASCAT and UCB on this show. Okay. So July is here now. We have an equivalent show, which is the butt munch comedy hour. And that I would like to promote. July, you don't have to sit. We're just telling Lauren that we love her and we're in love with her.

To make her feel better. I'm not actually saying it because she's being... So just say I love you and I'm in love with you. No, no, no, no, no. She's so shut down emotionally. What I'm giving July here is a chance. You don't have to put on that... As a witness, you're seeing that they're making me uncomfortable.

And we do it to boys all the time. And you're making it, it's like a boys-girls thing. We do it to boys and we do it to girls. Okay, what are you opening? It's like a weird little like bar-y thing. Okay. It's like a protein energy ball. You put the wrapper right up against The mic

I disagree No but you're doing it I'm looking at you doing it You can't say you disagree So I'm here to say I love you You can tell Sean and Hayes and Kevin That you are in love with them I don't care

Should I do it in an organic way That you're just having a normal conversation and then just kind of sneak in that you love Lauren and you're in love with her. Oh, I mean. And then she'll know how it feels, but she won't suspect it. Okay. So just a normal conversation. I'm going to let it slide right now.

But I'm going to say that I'm at work. Yeah, he's trying to have a normal conversation with you at work. Okay. Go ahead, July. Do you like that, Bosh? So did you hear these guys on Doughboys? They were so good. Oh, yeah.

What did they review? Yeah, I heard you like that show from the frigging Now Hear This promo reel. That's your favorite show. And you're like, well, everyone loves Doughboys the most. And it's like, yeah, it's the same show as us. I don't really think of this as work. Yeah. Say us.

I'm just having fun with my friends. Okay. Who I love and I'm in love with. Yeah, I don't think I have completed

the episode. What was the... Shrimp off? No, I have not. They ate a lot of shrimp. That's great. You ate a lot of shrimp

and I will listen to that. I like listening to people eat, which I think Sean knows and so, of of course he unwrapped his protein ball. Cross over, baby. I mean, it was good content eating shrimp. It was good. I assume I have, as I said, I haven't listened to it, but I have listened to the Chicken Nugget Power Hour and that was really, really good. I almost threw up and then also wanted Chicken Nugget. So I thought it was great content. I think everyone should listen to Dough

Boys actually. It's a great podcast. I'm not so I thought it was great content I think everyone should listen to Dope Boys actually it's a great podcast I have no affiliation I know they're doing really well so you can see on their Patreon how well they're doing Feral Audio gives their artists a lot of freedom

yeah so they can make tens of thousands of dollars from their podcasts every month which is for actually just a few thousand listeners paying a little bit of money. So it's pretty crazy. I love you, Lauren. This fucking place is cheap. Oh my God, July.

Okay, okay. I want Sean to apologize for what just happened. July, thank you. I respect you, and I appreciate that sentiment. That's really nice, July. Thank you. Thank you. You know, I'm at work, so I would prefer that we not have that kind of conversation here.

Okay. I just learned about the power dynamics here. And as July's main boss, it was inappropriate of me to force him to say that he loves someone to someone who he doesn't even really like that much. Okay, you know what? I'm sorry, it's time to listen. That was a really fucked up

apology in which you offended me. I don't want to Kevin. Hey boss, don't say that about the person I love, okay? Wow, okay. How do you deal with that? Secondly, Kevin...

But now she likes hearing it. Kevin, get me out of here. Hey, back off. Thank you, Kevin. Punch both of these guys. Ow, ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow. Baby punches.

And punch Hayes. I'm not allowed to punch Hayes. And I caught his fist. Oh, no, and he spun it around. Oh, no, and he flipped him over by the fist. He's wagging him back and forth. And I'm swinging him around. It's like when Hulk grabs dude by his freaking feet.

He's screaming, Uncle! Yeah, it's like Thor. He's screaming, Uncle! Like Uncle Jesse. Let him go! Hey, hey, Save a slice for me Uncle Jesse Uncle Joey

We talk about all those guys On Raised by TV It's a great show Bye I'm really proud of it I'm a horny girl wolf This has been an Earwolf production Executive produced by Scott Aukerman

Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon for more information and content visit Earwolf.com ow that was a hate gum podcast