Hollywood Handbook - Lisa Gilroy and Lily Sullivan, Our Close Friends

Episode Date: September 5, 2023

The Boys talk to LISA GILROY and LILY SULLIVAN about a new project and joining the Hat Pack. Watch the video of today’s episode with Lisa and Lily at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast okay uh let's just sort of get it out of the way um um i personally would have loved to have either one of you on your own as guests. And I honestly had nothing to do with it. I think that would be an episode. That's an episode. I was not involved in the process at all. Hayes was texting this morning and said,

what the fuck is this? I've been trying to piece together what happened, and I'm very close, I think, to getting the full picture of what sort of led to this. This is not how we... My opinion is a Lily episode, lights out, that's great.

We've done some great ones. A Lisa episode, oh my God. Yes. Turn the lights on, you're going to want to see this. What does that mean? What does that mean? Like lights out, lights on.

Yeah. Lisa said it. Yeah. But either way, I'm not confused What does that mean? What does that mean? Like lights out, lights on. Yeah. Lisa said it. Yeah. But either way, I'm not confused because all the subject lines for all the emails were double date. So I'm not surprised. It's like if you guys wanted to ask us out on a date, like ask us out on a date. Like you don't need to like come do your podcast.

That's not good. We don't want to do that. But the date, you only read the subject, the body of the emo was with Kevin and Casey. So we're here as chaperones. Yeah. And basically, these are,

I don't know who goes with who or what, how it works. So they just wanted to film us? Yeah. And be in the same room as us? That's what's strange because this feels like

this seating arrangement would be... Like we're on a double date. Yeah, and that the chaperones would sit there. This is how a double date is set up. So this isn't for anything? This isn't for the podcast or anything? Three pieces of furniture all facing the same direction. It's just like has real like tech guy energy.

You know what I mean? Yeah, but that's where the money is. Is that why you guys told us to bring PJs? Huh? You guys told us to bring PJs? We didn't do anything. We didn't tell you anything. I didn't even know this was happening until today.

I'm in my PJs. It just seems like you guys should be more on your emails. Like you should know what's going on on the emails. Like it's your show. I'm not on any of those emails that you're talking about. Okay, so now you're saying I'm like a tech guy and then you're saying I don't even know how to look at my email. Yeah.

I was telling them tech guys. Pick a lane. Like one direction or another. Do me a small favor. A minuscule kindness, if you could. Pick a lane. Pick a lane. Now we're all negging each other.

This is turning into a double date. Yeah, this is how it feels huh i just i was just kind of like why are they like are you doing something like they do something together well it was like they did an episode of a podcast that hasn't come out yet the buzz is outrageous the chemistry's off the charts and uh basically his thought and this is an old hollywood trick which is when there's heat on a project that has not been released and not saying it will, but potentially could underperform, you line up the next three jobs.

Right. Like, wow, there's still kind of this conversation happening in the town about like, oh, I hear this is going to be really big. And until it comes out and everyone is like, okay. And they go like all right yeah exactly and what or like oh you should have checked it out yeah are we allowed to like even talk about this it's like an episode um i'm gonna go ahead and give that to lisa yeah it's more it's not an episode it's more like a franchise so you know how mary kate and ashley have passed away

yeah what they had before was movies like Holiday in the Sun, New York Minute. They had a whole detective kind of thing before that. And so Lily and I at the bequeathal of Universal Studios and Warner Brothers in conjuncture are remaking all of those classic films. But we're not scabs.

I promise. It sounds like it's kind of funny. It sounds like it's kind of funny that you're doing it. Lisa's a sovereign citizen. And, like, so she, like, doesn't have to respect any of that stuff. I'm in international waters at all times. At all times. Yeah.

She's 99% international waters. And so, like, but you are a warrior getting pulled into something. But she's shorter. No, like, they needed a shorter brunette and someone like less cute and it worked out that way for me it's like how you guys

it's you guys shorter less cute brunette and then hot blonde we're not doing this and then he kind of sets the tone

for what's legal and what's not and then you do what he says it's literally just like showbiz one on one I'm surprised

you guys don't know this tall one short one brunette blonde I don't really yeah I mean I just kind of showed up and just did my thing it's all instinct

you guys never like talk to Warner Brothers or Universal or anything well actually mostly people in the town just call it Warners or Warner Media I was saying Warner Brothers Well, actually, mostly people in the town just call it Warners. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Or Warner Media. Yeah, I actually call it Warners. I was saying Warner Brothers because I didn't know if you guys would know what I was talking about. Did they just say Warners?

If I said Warners or whatever we're saying in the industry. Yeah, they just say Warners. Warny. Warners. Yeah, Warny. Warny. Frankenweenie. So anyway, we did-

If you see the police, Frankenweenie. We did a series of these detective movies together. Yeah, great. Okay. Did you ever see Two Kids in a Trench Coat? Well, Mary-Kate and Ashley were buried in theirs, I guess. I don't know if we like. Yeah, R&B.

Or when they were the detective stuff. They're buried under a big heap of their clothing from the row. did like the detective stuff they're buried under a big heap of their clothing from the row do the detectives ever solve the mystery of what the fuck this booking was and like how we got in this room today because i i am farther away from my head i was like i at first thought i knew what was happening i see i know why you're confused now because now that we have the whole mkna franchise and they're calling it lily because it's like like Lisa and Lili. Lili, yeah. It's like Lili and Stitches. But that's kind of just her already.

Lili and Stitches. Yeah, because of where you're laughing. Lili and Stitches. Lili and Stitches. So that's what our franchise is, and now we have a podcast. Yeah. And we haven't changed sign yet,

but you guys are guests on ours. And we needed two of you, because you're only half funny. Well, and I said this earlier. Yeah. But if you guys have to go to the bathroom right now is a really good time. Literally go now. Go now.

I can smell that someone needs to go. Someone needs to make. And I know it's one of you. Well, what I told you at the time was that I don't do that. That I am a grown up. That when I was a little kid, maybe I tried it. But that doctor goes in and takes it out of me every single night when i'm asleep and i just don't see the need to like degrade myself and

just like just like soil everyone some like and also leave it to the professionals you know like oh my god just like show up it is a. Did he get it all out last night? Although that is what I did in comedy. I just kind of show up and do my thing. That's true, yeah. People were like, hey, okay. I wouldn't have my appendix removed by sitting on the toilet. You know what I mean?

If you can't make before we start, is it cool if I take your drink away? Look at that big spider. Big spider. Oh, my God. That spider's huge. That's never happened before until you decided that. Wow. Until you went on a power trip.

And the little earth rejected you. What if it's a jumper? You can't. No. Hang on. Let me chug my water that you tried to take away. What do you mean? Did you spit it at it?

No. Cup it. He's going to cup it. And Kevin is ready with a mouse pad for exactly this situation. It's such a big spider. This is a little thick. It's going to be so, so thankful.

It's going to spin a web that says, since there's some pig, it's going to say, some hottie. Good job. He's going to say, some hottie did the damn thing. He's going to take it to the ocean. It's awesome that they cut all of his screaming. Wow, that was really scary.

So what's the sign going to say? Lillian Stitches in hot. what's the sign going to say? Lillian Stitches. But what's it going to say? Like, obviously it has to say, first of all, R says so much other stuff than just the name of the show. Is it just going to say Lillian Stitches and not like. It'll have a picture of us. Okay. We're both in.

It's like a cartoon or like it's just like a picture that you're actually taking a real picture. It's a picture of us. We're in on top of little kids shoulders in a trench is it a cartoon or is it okay thank you i'm just telling you what the picture is i said a picture yeah pictures can be a cartoon ever heard draw a picture no that's i've never heard that okay sean's back he made in a cup and flushed it down the toilet. Honestly, it was the most masculine thing I've ever seen from you in my entire life. From me? You barely know me.

I know you pretty well. What are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? But this is a podcast, so we're close. We have to make it like we're close friends. And we're being good hosts. We're saying, hey, the boys that we love so much and everybody's hobbies and what you guys are doing and we know you and we like you.

You literally call us our close friends. And then after the show, four cabs out of here. I think I've decided that I may have made an error. I should have let the spider bite me and then I sue Casey. Like, think about like you know what that is you know what it means sure what if i own that who was in here lately because the fact that it's like over there someone just like brought a spider oh my god it's huge actually oh made you look so that's how you know that stupid one in smart world and we that's what we said at the beginning of the podcast yeah and so we do little things like that with our guests to prove yeah we make assumption at the beginning and then halfway through we prove it with a kind

of experiment well that that's interesting i didn't know this is that i was stupid but i'm also the spider enthusiast yeah right yeah but i am yes but i would i would obviously have introduced myself as the stupid one if you had even given me a second to talk. We know you're the stupid one. You're the brunette. You're the small, ugly brunette. You're the stupid one, we know.

Yeah. Tall ones, blonde ones, fast runners. Smart ones. Wait, who's a fast runner? Us big tall ones. I'll beat him in a foot race right now. Well, because you do spider run on all fours. No question.

No questions asked. Spiders are all eights. Yeah, but you don't have eights. Okay, I'm the stupid one, but you call it all fours. That still gets you to six. That's it. Okay, and nose. That put me in the spider. And what can last one be?

Dick, tongue, nose, feet, arms. One more thing. Maybe just my nipples. Oh, that's too many now, isn't it? Yeah. Well, let's remove nose. Okay, remove nose. Yeah.

Two nipples, one dick, one tongue, two arms and two legs faster than one. But you guys could race in all eights if one of you went on top of the other like this and then you guys had to run together like a spider. And you could do it in your pajamas. We can do that. I wouldn't need to do that. I'm fast.

I'm fast on my own. It's like we're fast runners. Just let him introduce. Let him talk about that. Let him introduce himself. I'm the stupid one. Hey, what's up? Hey, what's up Let him introduce himself. I'm the stupid one. Hi, what's up? Hey, what's up?

What's up? I'm the stupid one. I am actually pretty fast. And the show today is about spiders and bugs. Right? This is Smart Hayes. Big, beautiful blob. Yes. right this is smart hayes big beautiful blonde yes and um and he uh sort of lopes you know i mean like just these long strides but slow yeah clumsy fall down uh we're here with lily what so what do you do on the show?

Well so that's what I was getting into So basically we pull different pranks And we're both On top of a little kid in a trench coat So like we've got like You know like We're on top of their shoulders So we look like adults

Tall adults And in every episode we solve crimes Meet guys And high five tall adults. And in every episode, we solve crimes, meet guys, and, and high five. High five. I guess I already know this. Like,

we're, we're supposed to be friends already. Yeah. Yeah, we are. Like, that's what I'm getting confused about. You're still confused by that?

Yeah, like, well, because I don't know how to play it now because it's like, if we know each other, then I guess, why am I asking you anything at all like why are we even doing a podcast

we could take over if you guys want because so many logistics of this are like the problem I mean we only have one hat yeah we only have one hat we only brought one we can't just be like giving out hat pack hats to like you know because where does it end

we would like to have many more guests at once we could on an episode but we can't just be like giving them all hats you know what i mean we just don't have enough yeah but you can give them so many got purchased or you can fucking sit on your ass whoa we get one for both of us. Yeah, so who, I guess, is going to wear it first? Probably the hot one. Come on, Lily. Go for it, girl. Lily doesn't want to. Go for it.

Yeah. Oh, what's up? I'm Hayes. Oh. Whoop-de-doo. Whoa. It's uncanny. It's honestly uncanny.

Maybe it's being smarter than that. You remember, I did look at the spider I didn't believe it for one second I don't understand I'm your friend I'm not your friend oh my god fuck a spider I'm so fucking scared

I gotta do this I gotta do this I gotta look tough my little brother is crawling. That's not what it was like. Oh, fuck. Kevin, edit out my screaming. Yeah, it wasn't really like that.

The entire thing was on camera, so. Yeah. It's like completely made up. These are awesome hats. Does this network have a... Yeah, and by the way... How many have we sold? How much do you think it costs?

Say $30. I would say $3.99. Say $30. It can't be worth more than that. Does this network have a... Yeah, and by the way, how much do you think it costs? I would say $3.99. It can't be worth more than that. I bet it costs like $0.03 to make, so $1.50. So you all think it's got something with three in it. Are they disposable for the rain?

Yeah. So I encourage people to buy 100 of them. They look like they should be thrown away. If you live in Seattle or something, you actually have to buy a thousand of them. Yes, they are disposable, but you have to take them. It's like batteries.

Why do they have bugs and dirt inside? Why are they filled with bugs and dirt? Because you just touched them. My God, so immature. So immature. That's something we would never do on our show. It was on your damn head. Now I'm realizing the spider came off of you.

It actually did come out of your head. Like now I'm working back through. I'm like, never seen one in this studio before. I walk in, you were here first. We had lice, but we've never had spiders. Yeah. And it was like, it came off you and it was trying to get away from you.

And it was like holding its nose. It was like, oh, stinky, stinky. Yeah, it had to jump off because it smelled so bad being on you yeah so does your podcast have a does it have a home at this time or we're seeking uh like a network it's a head gum yeah we're head gum it's a head gum show yeah jesus christ fucking well that's why we were saying i mean you guys are actually on it right now They said you guys would be too scared To be on someone else's podcast

So that's why we had to trick you That you were on your own Oh yeah I'd be so scared to be on someone else's podcast Meanwhile I've been invited on three other podcasts And done two of them In how many years? Something about your story doesn't track Did you do that? how many years? Something about your story doesn't track. Did you do Howard Stern?

In how many years? 42? Yeah, 42. You do Howard Stern? Try 42. Wow, you're so much younger than I thought. Yes, I know. Did you do Howard Stern? A lot of time in the sun, babe. Why? You seem like an indoors

guy. Did you do Howard Stern? Sun gets him did i do howard stern uh you know what it's on my list but he hasn't asked yet no but it is on my list of things that i'm planning to do did you know that's lily's husband yeah and she's married to Joe Rogan. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Catching up to all of this. So why are we on a Joe Rogan? I think that's actually BS because his wife wears a big kettlebell on her finger instead of a ring.

She's decoy wife in case she gets shot in the head, so I live. Okay, yeah. And i heard that at the end of this double date you guys are gonna have to fight joey and howie wow well okay the matchup is very clear i'm obviously going with howard i mean like we will be swinging our big i call rogan yeah two two short rogan yeah yeah two short brunettes. Dibs on Rogan. Yeah. Yeah.

Two short brunettes going at it. Mm-hmm. Two short, fugly-ass brunettes just fucking rassling around, baby. Scraping in the mud. Just fucking tumbling around. You're going to get undies over your head so fast. Oh, he's going to wedgie my ass? Yeah. Oh, yeah? That's his move yeah he always

goes for the panties and then he'll kick your teeth in uh okay well um i hope not i would hate that so do me a favor tell him please don't love sean and by the way, what you're not remembering is I'm a very fast runner. So like, good luck grabbing onto my panties. Your word, not mine. I said undies. I said panties.

Okay. You can't even tell us apart. Well, if you want to prove me wrong, go ahead. You can show us. Show us what you're wearing. It's great for the podcast. How? How do you want to see it? I'm literally not scared of anything.

Yeah, I know. I saw you with the spider. You can kind of see a little bit of the elastic with the spider, I think, probably. Just a little bit of it. If you want to go frame by frame. Oh, that's true.

Maybe Lily could shoot another spider out of her ear onto the wall and we would see it again. Whoa, Jockey? I literally barely saw it. I couldn't see it. Were you scared to show it? It's barely there. I mean, that's the idea.

You barely see it. There's no to show it? It's barely there. I mean, that's the idea that you barely see it. There's no lines. It's that worn out. Even wearing it for so long. When was the last time you guys bought new panties? In terms of the panties that I bought, when was the last time the new ones I bought them? Oh my God, you really are the dumb one.

You're shaking. Well, you know, not afraid of anything uh actually um say one place you think you could buy underwear at a lot of times people give them to me can you name one i'm just known as like the gift in terms of stores that do it. Yeah, the store, the grocery store. For sure. We do live shows and everybody's, by the end of the show, everyone's underwear is up there. And all our fans are the same size as us.

Yes, so we just get a big push broom and we put it all into a big bucket. Why are they taking them off? Why? Yeah. Well, sorry. No, they come in with them already off. Oh, okay.

Yes, and so they're holding them in their hands on the way in. Sometimes they shoot off. Yeah. Yeah, sometimes they get blasted off. Like out of a gun? I don't know exactly what the physics of it is, but there's a move that Hayes does on stage and you just duck down because you've both been there for the last show.

Yeah, I know I was there. It's underwear central up on stage, buddy. Wow. So, but mostly men's undies? Like the ones you're wearing? Guys, yeah. It's a lot of guys in the audience, if I remember. Yeah, that's true.

I remember when i saw nary a woman out there the yes the uh the boys are very comfortable with the boys and so we uh like to encourage that and there's no shame if you come if you have underwear if you don't have underwear if you bought it just to put it on the stage like if you come yeah so they're coming like right at the beginning of the show or they come at the beginning of the show you said it almost yeah uh he's so stupid he doesn't understand that the word can be literally like he started with they come it's just so incredibly gross yeah i just it's not really that kind of show where we like talk about like. That's so nasty. Coming loads.

What else would you come besides a load? Oh no, I had a shudder to hear what this guy's coming. What are you coming, tell us. Go ahead. Let me guess. It's a safe space. Chicken pork chop ravioli. Go ahead.

You can save space. Chicken pork chop ravioli. I knew it was going to be a chicken pork chop ravioli. No. Tomato flavor. No. Hot soup. My cum would be a book. I actually am smart.

Oh, my God. I'm so smart I cum books. What book? Pick the whole library. Anything you want. It's a bunch of Malcolm Gladwell, Foster Wallace. Some of the stuff is still true.

He is really fast, but he is actually smart and reads books as well. He talks about it a lot. Hey, I know that you're the hot one and I know you want to make up for whatever's going on with him. This is going to be a huge problem for me later. We need to wind some of this back.

You think he's going to remember any of this once it's over? He's fully blacked out. Like, I can see it. His eyes are fried. Too much sun, I guess, huh? Well, so the show's Hollywood Handbook, you know. It's new. Or it's, no, it's old.

But it's new that you're on it. Hollywood Handbook. This week on the Patreon, Sean talks to Joe Mandy about the movie Bowfinger on his show Subtitles On. And the Flager Ones are mostly talking all things basketball. Check out all these shows and the video of today's episode with Lisa and Lily at patreon.com slash theflagerones. Also, want to join the hat pack? Check out the link in the description. Hollywood Handbook. Hollywood Handbook.

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Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys. That's rocketmoney.com slash the boys. Rocketmoney.com slash the boys. Is this the new show so they were there was a show about the the women's soccer team there was and is that that's not happening anymore because the soccer ended casey uh yeah the soccer ended so that so they're not doing that anymore no okay so this is like the true you know the triage like they are taking their place do you know what triage means buddy buddy do you know what triage means you okay huh you okay yeah absolutely i'm actually i want to get questions are they going to be in the big studio yeah Yeah, they're the first show that's going to get the big studio all to themselves.

Triage is when you count the rings inside the stump, right? Right. To see how old the tree is? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you got it. Figure out the age of the tree. They're not going to be respectful of the big studio.

That's so cool that he knows about the rings and such. Hey, Sean. Yeah. Really good job. Yeah, that was awesome. Yeah, you know, you grab enough spiders, you start to learn a little bit about the way this whole nature thing works. Yeah.

Just thinking about, I'm honestly just thinking of the big studio and just like it's going to, it's going to be fucking gross and full of spiders and dirt in there. Yeah. If they're going to use the big studio there they've got a door straight to outside yeah I mean like we have been in discussions about how we want to be in the big studio and it's just kind of

like fucking so disrespectful to me that like we've been doing this now for like so long and we're in this like studio that's like basically for babies and little kids like this is like yeah why is the couch it's a fucking shoe box it's so tiny in here yeah and but we have like shown that we can like be clean up after ourselves and be respectful of the studio the entire time and all that you've seen from them is putting a bug

just bringing a bug from outside and by the way that studio i believe has a door a sliding door that opens directly to the outside so it's just going to be mid-episode they're going and getting as many bugs as they want yes and so someone put a bug in here and someone took it out okay i guess we should take oh let's get the one who brought the bug let Let's have them. Let's give them a bigger room. I just want to say, you know, we're really, we're actually actively shattering stereotypes because women stereotypically hate bugs.

And not only that, we didn't want to spoil the surprise yet, but we are kind of guerrilla marketing our new movie. We're literally, yeah, we're like out in the dirt. We're rolling around in the dirt. We're rolling around in the dirt. It's like Jumanji meets Tarzan. Okay. Did you guys see Tarzan

with Brendan Fraser? I think that's George of the Jungle. No, it's Tarzan. Pretty sure that's George of the Jungle. Have you guys ever oh my god i really am the stupid one but you're not as stupid as him no it's true yeah but i'm not even trying like that's the thing is it's like it's like yeah sure okay i'm the stupid one yeah but a lot of that is just because like i literally have never tried at all but like you i get this feeling that you like want to be smart and that to me is like so tragic like literally you're just talking about how you come books so yeah

who's trying to look smart but yeah like no but like that's like act that's a physiological like that just no like i know my role like this is the hot one i'm tall medium too bad she's smart i'm not too not at all but i'm like i fully have embraced it and yeah there's to be those moments. But like, we need that for people to really believe like. I'm the stupid brunette. Short brunette. And only one of you stupid guys said that your nipples were long enough to run on.

So that's how I know you're trying so hard to be some sort of unique. Okay. So first she wants to see my underwear. Now she wants me to prove my nipple length are they really that long we know they're not that long lily we do but i'm like i'm no you know like you'll never you'll never show it it's like so fucking transparent yeah so obvious like yeah you just show it just show your nipples you should probably just show it i mean just like at this point,

it's so unbelievably transparent. And if it makes you more comfy, you can show it. I think the only way out of this is like, You can show out the top or out the bottom. And probably just show both of them at this point. Show both. And you can show out the neck hole or out the bottom hole. I think you should show your nipples

through your armpit holes. So I got to come back. So wait, I got to come back in here Cornholio style. So I got to come back. So wait, I got to come back in here cornholio style. So I got to go full cornholio for y'alls too. Underwear waistband pulled out, shirt all the way up over the back of my head. Might as well look how you sound.

What is happening today on this show i have put up with a lot from you and i have been very very patient but at the point that you say that i sound like cornholio i have to put my foot down i sound more like butthead everyone knows that butthead was the leader butthead yes you're dropping the t's butthead butthead butthead butthead butthead b apostrophe head bye head but we've been doing like we've been talking for a long time we i tried to like gently bring up or someone did that you both did the live show no one has no one reached out to do like hey i'm sorry those live shows failed no i'm sorry no there's another one on tuesday and it's just like how's it selling i have no fucking idea

we sold anything not great we took a long break being like maybe it's that they're too often but it's like no it's just that they exist at all about them yeah like what was mine the lowest like attended because you guys said that was Tim Simon's fault, right? Yeah, that's right. Yours was Hangover 3, I think, was the comparison that we made. We had further to fall yet. Yeah, it turned out.

Wow. It's this Tuesday? Tomorrow. Tomorrow night. There's a live show tomorrow night? Mm-hmm. Wow, that sucks so bad for me. What do you have going on? Is your wedding that's so crazy what's going on what do you have yeah tell i'm supposed to

it's my it's my wedding and you're speaking at your wedding aren't you but as we've established like as we've established on this show a wedding wedding is a shower. What most people call a shower, we call a wedding. Oh, okay. And so, oh, God. I'm going to be taking a shower during the show. The live show is going to be me taking a shower. A wedding with two T's on the live show. They probably want you to do.

At the Dynasty Dive right there. Yeah, you can shower here if you need to. Take a shower, see my nipples. That's so bad for me. Have you guys ever showed your body for your fans? Or even to each other? What? Like, I feel like that's a normal question

like we would get asked. Like, do you show your body for your fans normal question like we would get asked like do you show your body for your fans yeah so i'm just like asking you guys i'm extending that courtesy do you guys show your body for your fans so i guess i don't want to be in the position of asking you that question but then you're saying it is a normal question for you to ask so like what do you say people have already asked us no i have not been showing our body for our fans our wives will sometimes give us a bath together yeah what's the temp of the water if we so and who's more likely to poop in the tub um more likely yeah no i actually don't even do that he poops in the tub and then he doesn't even

know what it is he he gets scared 0% likely but if it did happen it's still the bathroom and it's basically it's whatever there's water in there there's a hole at the bottom it's a toilet

and we're already done we're already rinsed that's why we rinse that's why we shampoo and rinse immediately and then the rest of the time in the tub you're playing and like you can just if you poop it's not a big deal what are you guys playing with submarine that's awesome yeah do you have a toy of it or you just pretend it do you have a toy of it or do you just pretend i am the fucking submarine i don't have a toy of it i am the submarine so you poop in the tub and then you go under you poop in the tub i am under before i am

under that's that's number one right away and then we get to play the rest of the time the rest of to play as long as i want until it is time to get out. So all the poop is drained from the tub by the time you're playing submarine or the poop is like iceberg. This is my goal that I have to kind of explain things to. So if they had drained the tub, then try to imagine playing submarine in an empty tub. Doesn't really work, right? No. Because what's submarine, right?

Train is above ground. Submarine is what? Below. It's actually worse if the tub has been drained. It's worse if the tub has been drained because if it's not drained, you actually just get one of those little fish tank nets and you just catch it you know what i mean yeah it's floating so like clean yeah otherwise it's like all smeared or a fish tank net i think was fine like i think that's fine no but like i think just for like other people like it's a good comparison like you know when you clean a pool okay but the pool one is like really big probably would like destroy the entire time by the way this like never happened

like wow i really am the dumb one huh i mean that's like it's like insane to even think about you use a pool cleaner on that probably just like water go everywhere destroy the whole time so do your wives wash you guys it's so long you got to do it from like two rooms away um what i was gonna say we never it almost never even happens it's like once we went in this pond we weren't supposed to swim in and so as soon as we got home they had to put us in there yeah and one time a skunk tomato juice yeah yeah tomato you just cummed your big tomato ravioli all over your uncle? Where's the uncle coming from? I'm his uncle.

Why is he so much taller if he's not your uncle? Not like actually, but like, yeah. Canonically, I'm basically so much taller. So that makes Lisa my aunt then. I think it's different for girls. You're like my older aunt. I'm like cool older sister.

That's another thing in Lisa's hair. You're like a little aunt. I wish the spider ate you. Me? Speaking of aunt. And that was in his power to make happen and you notice that he made the decision to save you from that.

You're saying he could have killed me? Well, he could have not killed you. Why are you guys threatening to kill me? It would have been well within his power, within his rights. Legally, no, we have not done that. But what I'm saying is that it would have been fine to allow you to die. Every male podcast host honestly wants to take a woman, put her under the cuff rogan yeah you're married to joe rogan you cannot every male podcast and he treats me bad and sometimes he grabs my wrist literally saving a life in the same

episode and like literally this is what's happening and i just and i just want everyone to be seeing what's happening right now i just want everyone to be seeing what's happening right now. I just want everyone to know that they threatened to kill me. Sean threatened to kill me. Oh my God, the fucking woke police. Literally saved their entire life. Literally saved their entire life on this episode and you heard this.

What I said was I didn't have to save you. I could have allowed you to die and now the woke police have arrived. Right now I'm safe, but it won't be long. Okay. And this is why it's not worth it it's it's just not worth it this double date to me is the third or fourth worst date i've been on this week and i'm not and i am not even kidding like it's not i'm not exaggerating for comedy's sake for the podcast yes and one was so, we did actually have to take a bath after.

You didn't, you used that example, but one was so bad, we did. What happened? Our wives did have to put us in the bathtub. Just, just a really bad hug. Bad hug? Yeah. Like, so bad you shit your pants kind of thing?

Oh my God. It's like obsessed with like, it's like what comes out of my butt, wants to see my nipples, wants to see my underwear. Insanely gross. And it's like obsessed with like, it's like what comes out of my butt, wants to see my nipples, wants to see my underwear. And it's like, I'm just asking the questions. I think everybody wants that.

I'm so ugly, but you've been trying to get my clothes off since the second I stepped in. I just asked if you show your body for your fans. She's kind of in a spot. You're kind of in a spot. Honestly, at this point, it's like so obvious.

You really should just do it. When people honestly just so we can move on no i mean this is like making me crazy i'm going like do i have to go full-ass cornholio on this fucking shit like this is really making me feel insane like am i supposed to do that i guess what you would want is for me to get the cornholio uh t-shirt all the way over around my chin because i'm a goddamn butterface according to you too yeah i would cover up your face i would say you're a butter body butterface oh my god but then why but then why am i taking off my stuff just for a laugh, I guess. Not my humor. Not my kind of humor.

Not how I like to get my laughs. Right. What kind of stuff do you think is funny? What do I? I don't know yet. That's why I'm doing the podcast. It's an investigation. I would love to find something that was funny. And we'll continue to be looking after today.

Yeah, I will be searching. The search continues. The search continues. No, I don't. No, I don't. be searching. The search continues. No, I don't. I don't laugh very much. Would love to. It seems like it would feel really good.

He laughs slower than Beavis. Bah-head. Bah-head. Yeah. So, thanks for coming on the show. So, yeah, no, thanks for, yes, thanks for coming on the show. Thanks for having me. I'd like to apologize to Willie and Lisa. Really? You're apologizing to them? Wow, thank you, Kevin.

You work for us. I told them a story about how my mom scheduled my haircut, and I regretted it so fast. It was kind of recent. This isn't one of the emails? No, this was like a half hour ago, and I think the dynamic just got fucked after that so sorry yeah so you want to talk about this kevin cornered us and honestly

just to avoid kevin talking about this sean should probably just show his nipples i mean seriously i really do not want to hear the haircut story anything that's it that your mom scheduled your haircut that's a whole story i went home last year last year that was from last year that story jesus i was gonna do my big proposal and she said you could not do it with that hair i schedule with my girlfriend cut to me at the haircut. Cut to. Emphasis on cut to. So that is the kind of thing I like. That's why she's this smart. That is the kind of humor that I think is funny.

I did not understand it. And I honestly think you and I could connect in a real way. I don't know why you were saying that. I was a little ill or something to roll around and chase it or something for a while. I think you and I could really connect on like comedy writing intellectual yeah book so hearing a word and then being like okay that's similar to like this other word that's related to what we're talking auntie's aunt before like you're her exactly and then i'm always coming out of your hair and other bugs so like that's exactly the type of thing right yes see this is the thing a lot of people think that hot people are stupid,

but you guys are actually hot people who are smart. See, yes, exactly. And so like, that could be cool. We're doing this thing. She's talking about coming and shitting

and all this. It's like lazy, first of all, but also it's making me want to. I was just like guess anding like what was said. Like, I don't think I like brought any of that up.

Making me want to throw up. I could look more dweeby. Like, I understand I look bad, but what if I had more of a nerd look? And then what was said, like I don't think I like brought any of that up. Making me want to throw up. Yeah, I could look more dweeby. Like I understand I look bad, but what if I had more of a nerd look and then I was like a stupid nerd? Yes. I think that could work. That could be really powerful, right?

Because we got these hot geniuses and if we put them next to, and I'm bringing you in, you know, and you may want to get like some big glasses or something and you could be a really stupid nerd. I actually love that idea. Creatively, that's very exciting. Maybe even a wig.

I wear a small little wig. It's like Big Bang Theory, but they're so fucking stupid. Yeah, exactly. It's like, no. They're socially fucked. They're bad at social. And they are so stupid. Yeah, they're socially fucked they look bad and they are so stupid yeah they're not smart

like that I think a lot of people could connect to something like that I love watching you guys figure out like what your thing is yeah I think that's awesome it makes me feel amazing about just like knowing exactly not having to you imagine,

just like not knowing, not being so locked in. I didn't know what I was before and now I know. I feel like I've been like trying so hard to like figure out like what I could be and like stupid ugly nerd. It's like actually like stupid it's like giving me life right ugly like bad at social yeah freak nerd yeah yeah socially maladjusted like very very dumb like bad looking nerd

and you who comes books yeah like just says like uh there's's gotta be something where it's like okay but this isn't just for the fit and I guess I'll come like term papers or something like that yeah I mean I don't I don't know if girls I don't know what happens with all that

has not been my experience but like I'll take your word for it you know that's interesting it hasn't been my experience either but supposedly like me and howie like he hasn't made me come at all but i know like it's possible like that's what i hear at least and joe makes me flipping pancakes off the walls coming insane wild hog all for his doggie style. Okay. All right. Yeah, that Joe is a stupendous lover.

Joe ties, like, big dick, huge splash. It's utterly, earthquake-y, electronically shook. Some guys, you can just see the splash. He ties her up like a pig on a spit. He ties Lisa up like that. And he says, let me give your pussy a lobotomy. And then we go wango jango, head banging, wall fucking, sick porno ass kicking, shit storm, hurricane fucking,

wild to the hog nose like spitfire fucking it's a true joe rogan experience huh literally and it's all on the pod if you listen to his pod you hear every single every word hey uh question for howard that you can ask him yeah has he ever thought about because his show is all him doing these deep interviews. What if it was called A Stern Talking To? Doesn't that feel better than just like, What if it was A Stern Talking To? What's funny, he barely listens to me when I'm around him.

He acts like I'm not in the room at all, but I'll definitely try and bring that up again. Or say that it was his idea. Oh, that actually might work. Sometimes if I say a man told me something, he'll actually perk up and he'll listen. Does Joe listen to you? Is he

engaged at home? Super fucking engaged. We're like forehead to forehead whispering into each other's mouths. Like it's really, really like deep, deep like hand holding like finger interlocked. Well, that's really nice. Yeah. That kind of stuff. Especially since you're like taller than him too.

Yeah. Yeah. She towers over him. Yeah. We do morning meditation together like brain to brain, thought to thought. Wow. And I've learned so much about him that way yeah he has esp or whatever wow that's amazing because he's like so busy and doing podcasts and stuff but he has time

to both do morning meditation with you and it's just like sexually sorry just a second with lily what do you mean yes be like like say what you think it stands for? External sensory placement. Okay, do you want to try? Well, I know what ESP stands for. You already told me. Extra Splashy Penis. We can go. We can go.

You want to go? Yeah, we can go. Bye. Bye. Hollywood Handbook. That was a HeadGum Podcast.