Hollywood Handbook - Little Esther, Our Drinks-isode Friend

Episode Date: January 18, 2022

The Boys make some new drinks with LITTLE ESTHER POVITSKY. Watch the video recording of this episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast so i bring mr de blasio back to my home for a nightcap the conversation literally just being polite i i you know like yes because i people will people hear that and they go that's a little forward it's like actually it's common courtesy when you uh when the conversation is as stimulating as it was over the bros goose that we had dined on. There should be mutual agreement to say, let's continue this over a Schweppes.

Back at yours. A delicious, sparkling tumbler, right? Mm-hmm. Full of Schweppes. Shaken Schweppes. Full of Schweppes green tea ginger ale. Mm-hmm. And so... One round ice cube a fucked up straw a split straw one of those shitty

like compostable straws that breaks in half it's already been in there a while some is like shooting out of the side of it yeah and just keep this thing going keep this vibe going and so we get back to mine he takes in the foyer very nice he sees the guest book laying out on the side table

and says i'd love to with a little sort of cheeky smile picks up the guest book pulls a mont blanc from his lapel and begins to leaf through it now i had just brought this guest book out recently from an earlier time in my life when i was a bachelor when I would bring prospective partners back to my home and I would leave the guestbook out in a prominent place and I would have written in the guestbook

in different types of handwriting messages from other women celebrating a successful From other women. Celebrating a... That I had absolutely rocked the world. They blasted off rocket ship to Mars. They're still blasting off as I write this. You of course would... My panties exploded.

This is nothing new. This is an old bachelor saw that you welcome them to the foyer you have a tape recorder playing of a vicious barking dog you say please wait in the foyer while i put my dog away you walk out of the room you you you know make various sounds of wrestling the animal but you give them no choice but to begin flipping through the pages of the guest book as you're battling this magnificent beast also sounding somewhat virile and powerful i may add and of course as they see the messages and the different handwritings from some of the famous celebutants whom you presumably bedded and uh

all five stars the reviews you know not going the top, but saying things that are believable, positive. Some of them are dated the same night, but different times in that night. And Mr. de Blasio is perusing the guestbook. Another smile grows over his face. perusing the guest book another smile grows over his face he closes it puts it aside looks at me puts out his hand and said

you and I sir have more in common than I knew what a story and now you've got your Mr. de Blasio yeah we all have we all have you're in this town for a certain amount of time yes you end up acquiring your mr de blasio story and that's a damn good one mine's mine's not quite as good i don't mind saying so okay do we want to do we all want to share and everybody want to do this we do have esther here do we all want to share and it is probably one of the handbooks. We do have Esther here. Do we all want to share

our stories about Mr. de Blasio who it's been a special couple weeks for him. He's moving on. Do we all want to share Mr. de Blasio stories? Do you want to do that first? Do you? Whatever. Yeah.

Let's meet Esther where she's at because we didn't tell her to have that story prepared i've heard it and it's fucking can't even breathe funny it's pass out funny like i don't know if i can hear it again i obviously already am having trouble breathing i have contracted the novel coronavirus um am i allowed to speak yet absolutely oh okay or not whatever you want to do because you said in the past that this being on this podcast is a problem for you you don't it's painful like it's pain pain having experience for you. Your testimony has been essentially the opposite of what we described in Hayes' guest book.

That the experience is always unpleasant. That you regret being involved. And we, of course, couldn't feel worse about this. Because our number one goal when we started doing the show was it should be about the guest me i could talk to me any old time but the guest i get this one window in the week where i get to really dig in and get to know them and i feel like we failed you the guest is the customer we let you down no no no no i said those things as in jest um i i did know mr de blasio and it was you said those things and i did ingest oh i ingested everything you said. What happened over there?

He's here. Okay, this is the trick I've talked about. Is he here? It's a tape recorder. No, I knew Mr. de Blasio before, like back in the day. Okay. And we were super, like I thought there was a connection and like i did that thing you know look in so many words i did sign his guest book um okay but i who didn't

yeah that's not you know we can say that yeah i uh i did the thing like i left i just left I did the thing. I just left something at his place to kind of ensure that he would call. And then he didn't. Earmuffs, mittens, big tall boots. I left my socks. And your earmuffs, mittens, and some big tall boots. Yeah, it was winter.

So he just took all that stuff. He stole it. He still has it. And i'm actually like one day i would ask if he does but i'm a little shy so you've talked about that being introvert being so shy and that actually where you get your power is being alone and is being off the podcast and that's where you feel most comfortable yes i'm more comfortable alone while not doing any podcast intj your intj wow that was a very shy well shit wait that's exactly how an intJ would answer. Exactly how.

Let's find a way to help you succeed on the show. I know you said, look, let's, this show's about translucency. Let's not lift the curtain, but let's poke some holes

in it so people can peek through and say, hey, I asked you to do the show. You asked lift the curtain but let's poke some holes in it so people can peek through and say hey um i asked you to do the show you asked if we could do it in person you said you would prefer that you feel that you do a better job in person i thought i always want you to feel like you're doing your best i want to raise your performance level to where you're happy with it i've always been happy with it i want you to feel as good as i have felt i'm happy we're not in person i have contracted the novel coronavirus so uh in deference to your uh preferred method while still respecting, of course, COVID-19. Let's meet you more in your wheelhouse. I feel like you've been doing our show.

Why don't we do your show in a way and try to focus on your interests? Okay. So this episode will be our first annual, hopefully, drinks-isode. It's a special episode all about drinks. Unique drinks. Inventing new famous drinks. Having new ideas for drinks flavors how we prepare other drinks we like very special it's pretty special trying drinks could be pretty special and we've never done this

a little bit we did this with the sloppy boys but we've almost never done this a month and a half ago month and a half two months but we've almost never done this i love this this is i will say this is reminding me of the first time i met john mulaney um i met him i was wondering when he'd come up yeah i was wondering when she'd come up olivia okay and olivia said the other way around. Olivia said, John, this is my friend Esther. And Olivia like started to explain, tried to explain like me.

And she said she really likes things. And it made me feel embarrassed. But it is true that I'm a consumer of goods and drinks is a big part of that. So I really feel seen thank you and and embarrassed yeah yeah we're gonna be talking about drinks this episode we're gonna be sharing and being vulnerable honest telling stories just so we are all doing that kevin did you take a shower today just a bath you took a bath okay and so that's why your hair looks a little funny today

you took a very fast bath yeah i got in at five as you guys know we started at 5 30 so i had to really blast that water nothing like a quick bath get in get out it's over right that's you know little co-ed naked tennis bath so i i love that you did that kevin and i don't know why people are hanging out in the bath all day long to me that's disgusting bath great as long as you're efficient so thank you for being clean thank you for not wasting water with the shower i assume you took a very shallow bath is this right very shallow just over the knees that sounds so cold was really hot oh i take baths every day and i'm hell yeah always have to cover everything with the water because it's really cold if not.

Yeah. Well. And again, we just want to raise the... We want to get to the drink stuff so we're really hitting our performance goals. Because we want you to feel good about this episode.

You got stuff to plug. I mean, you're here talking about you did a tv show stop me when i tell a lie the show's on hulu correct me if i'm wrong i really don't know if I'm being made fun of or not. It's got cut, darlings. Don't let me say anything I'm going to regret. It's season two. Yeah, Dollface season two. Dollface.

Yeah, Dollface is the name of it. It's on Hulu. What does that mean, Dollface? Oh. It's something that- It something not an actual doll no no no her ex-boyfriend called her that once i i play the fourth the fourth friend in a group of four friends the sweet spot bat and clean up the fourth one because you know you're like the least important one come in to hit those dingers you know i've noticed set up set up set up kaboom the base is clear demo specialist coming in i have a hot boyfriend on the show. What's his name? The character is named Liam,

and he's a hot guy, and he plays my boyfriend. And I was really excited that I had a hot boyfriend until we got to the part where it's all about how everyone in the show is like, why is he dating her? Wow. Maybe the drinks is like, why is he dating her? Wow. Maybe the drinks will be more what we should talk about.

Although I do want to stop down to say, is it difficult pretending to have a hot boyfriend when in real life you have a stunning fiance a smoldering fiance yes so to be take that step back to just boyfriend um it is it is difficult yeah for for me i've never because I've never I had never kissed a hot guy. Please go ahead. I had never kissed a hot guy before. Okay, so I guess I'd like to take a little step back. You know, of course,

you're saying how uncomfortable it is, how no one could believe that this particular actor would be with you. Just, you know, people, short memories in this town. I did play your boyfriend on a TV show. I did. Wow.

We did kiss. No one on the show was saying how, why would he be with her? that wasn't part of the dialogue none of the and nothing but go ahead you'd never kissed a hot guy before so what was that experience i really think we should go to the drinks and i said that we should get right to the drinks so what was that experience on the show she's comfortable but i felt like there was some of the promo stuff it felt like there was a story there in in terms of why we can continue i just want to say that this is please yes i had uh um hindsight of course but um you had said you never kissed a hot guy before and what was the rest of that that what happened time it was foresight i um i did forget that you played a boyfriend not asking about that not asking about

that asking about you had maybe some banter already prepared or something but you have maybe there's a punchline coming you said never kissed a hot guy before what was the rest of that no no to be clear there's no punchline coming so should i go were you that's gonna be the end that was gonna be the end of your whole story at that point originally i had never kissed a hot guy before i know i just was now it really does feel like it was just meant to be mean what was your favorite drink today probably water for me he has covid so he can't really taste yeah yeah so this is going to be less about like what drinks we had

today because like this time in sean's life he does have covid my and so my my drink variety has been narrowed greatly just ever since i contracted the novel coronavirus and so we're gonna be like sharing drink ideas getting sean excited when he can have kind of a normal drinks lifestyle again getting you up to that performance level that we like where we know like you want to be really hitting the notes with different drinks so drinks ideas go special drinks ideas me having an idea for a drink and we and the idea for you the idea now okay i would like a lychee a lightly sweetened lychee with a little bit of green tea sparkling drink in a can zendaya is lychee i thought she was michi no nope oh she may have been at some point they don't have that you really don't think they have

lychee what what was it flavored with green tea you need to have that oh okay well i i actually usually don't have good ideas. They already have that kind of steez. That's already a steez. That's a steez. My understanding from you actually is that you do have a huge drink company idea and that you were in touch with, and I quote, Kanye's flavor guy. Am I misquoting you? See, this is how our shows should always go this is like this is like a real show oh no this feels like a real show this is are you serious esther tells me i'm ugly and then

then i talk about kanye's flavor guy is your computer broken that was like the best thing when he was like so i hear you have a little story and like that's good it's not broken that's like a real fucking show yeah you were saying what's happening like it was broken oh yeah it was for a second it's fine now um that was yeah so i'm bad at tech stuff. That's why I wanted the thing in person. So I apologize to any listener who's annoyed with any tech issue like that. I understand. Yes. Okay, so you did actually misquote me.

What is happening with the tech? The tech is fine now. Rather than just apologizing, can we just resolve it? There's no issue. Have us talk to the listener. This is for your protection. Okay. If There's no issue. Have us talk to the listener. This is for your protection. Okay. If there's something you need to say directly to the listener,

just talk to us. I feel like that'll be... They will respond in other formats. Okay. It's not great if you... Yeah. Got it. Copy that.

I was in talks with Kanye's coffee guy. I was not in talks with Kanye's coffee guy. I was not in talks with Kanye's flavor guy. That's someone else who I know, but I don't talk to. But yes, I have been, I view myself a little bit as an entrepreneur in my free time. It's a hobby. I'm a hobby entrepreneur. In my free time, it's a hobby. I'm a hobby entrepreneur.

And coffee is a space that I would like to get into. And I would only work with the best. And that would be, and we call him Ye. It's not Kanye anymore. But Ye's guy. At the time I heard the story, it was still Kanye. Totally fair. I got a suggestion. it was still Kanye. Totally fair.

I got a suggestion. We got all this hazelnuts coffee, macadamia nuts coffee. Can we get back to basics? Just peanuts coffee. Thank you. Do

this. Make a cup of regular coffee, put a handful of acorns in it, and let's call this thing a day. Just normal nuts that you see around. Just normal acorns and a scoop of peanut butter. That, to me, that's coffee. And that is where we're headed.

Is that what your idea was? So that's the trend of coffee right now that we're moving in towards. That is something that I am filtering it. I'm thinking about it. I'm more focused on classic flavors. But acorn is definitely something that we've talked about. Well, I mean, some of these classic classic flavors too it's like we've got you know vanilla cream and then we've got irish cream cream i know it's cleaner what is irish cream is it i always assume

because it's irish i assume it's alcoholic but it's not right well the flavor itself isn't it's corned it's like how corned beef is Irish. This is corned cream. Corned cream. It's been corned. Okay. Totally. They spent all day corning it. I have a lot of other drinks ideas.

What? Chocolate Gatorade. Oh my God. Would it be thick and creamy or thin? No. Gatorade texture. exactly the same texture as gatorade what color brown i could see that working like a limited edition they'd ever do all the chocolate drinks they decided had to be very thick and you can't see through it how about a chocolate drink that you can kind of see

through and it's not thick at all but it's just as strongly flavored as gatorade and i don't think it's chocolate what about a sneaky chocolate drink? You know what I mean? Shouldn't part of the experience of taking a sip of a drink be like wondering if you're about to get really surprised? That's why I think one soda and every 12-pack of soda, one of the cans should be so hot. It's like getting Shishito peppers or something very spicy and it's like who's gonna get the hot one but this one soda would be so hot spicy but also like a very high temperature i have a question for you guys that's one of my other ideas my real idea is

flaming hot mountain dew you had drubbed it hayes he didn't interrupt would be huge i also have way more ideas so before we get to your question i like i did i said i had a lot of soda ideas and so i'm gonna log off don't log off it's for appearances we need you to be the guest yeah you know what i mean because it's gonna say that you're the guest okay i am so i never meant to interrupt i'm sorry it's fine oh my god i hope that apology was to us not the listeners as i said we'll handle that yeah it's fine i just you it looked as if you thought for a second that perhaps haze had interrupted you and i was just making it clear to everyone sometimes there's a lag on zoom and stuff you interrupted haze haze didn't interrupt you ask your question i was just gonna ask so if we had like a 12 pack of that

soda and one of them is really spicy and the other ones all taste like you know coca-cola whatever you like and you're on a date well let's say like let's say you guys are single and you're on a date and maybe the date's like at a house and you drink one and it is the spicy one do you feel like you could handle that because i think that could be kind of emasculating if you drank the spicy one on a date and then you like acted like a like a baby about it. I wouldn't bring a date to a house, number one. But you do bring your toothbrush.

Just in case. So you interrupted Kevin. Kevin did not interrupt you. What? Thank you. I? Thank you. I didn't speak. So, the toothbrush thing's funny.

We can drop it. No, no, no. That's what Kevin does. I just think I can't. When Kevin goes over to the house, he lets his toothbrush fall through a hole in his pocket out the cuff of his jeans ah son of a gun he says oops oops should i leave this here didn't mean for you to see my quip

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named after more people what's the little sd what drink what combination of two drinks please or three if you need one what combination would be the little Esther um please say two or three drinks okay yeah I would love I'm setting you up to succeed in a big way okay i would love to do a half cold brew and a half oat milk so it's like um what's that coffee drink where it's half milk latte no no no no no or it's half yeah you're just adding oat milk to coffee that's your one that's your special drink that's gonna have your name people are gonna love that yeah what i'll say is we know the combo works because they did it already did you these are real so can we talk about real drink ideas please can we please have one real drink idea out of you soda soup carbonated soup oh you can do it for any soup any soup can become soda soup okay i would

probably do like a lima bean soup with some carbonation not some a lot yeah well however much serving size is up to whoever is the drinker but yeah i think lima being soup carbonated no it's not i again i can't stress this enough it is not up to the drinker you have to you have to have a lot of it like a okay so like i would do like a big bowl like what i usually do not a bowl not a bowl it's a big pot it's gotta be huge wait a second is there like something going on here where everything i say is wrong is that like the game we're playing like something going on here where everything I say is wrong? Is that like the game we're playing? I mean, if it's a game,

little Esther, you're the only one playing it. We are merely trying to host a show that plays exclusively to your strengths. You think we want to talk about drinks the whole time? We already did it like a month ago. You think we want to talk about drinks the whole time? We already did it like a month ago. You think I want to share all my best drink ideas?

Cheesy tea. You guys can do whatever you want. I'm tapping out of... Cheesy tea is like a mac and cheese powder packet, but... Hey, you know how they add... In boiling water, you just dip it like tea. You know how they add honey water you just dip it like tea you know how they add honey to some drinks caramel sauce caramel sauce caramel sauce that's a thing caramel latte not coffee i'm not talking about coffee okay well you're talking about other drinks anywhere

let's talk about a different drink christmas corona okay right mold spiced pine needles pine needles at the bottom of your corona they already have that tree with the christmas trees on with the lights on it for christmas right you forgot to change the drink you forgot to make the drink christmas corona that seems like um maybe you would want to do holiday corona instead to just like include everybody it has mold spices in it that's for Christmas. They can do different ones for other ones, but sorry. This really has to be Christmas

Corona. Also, they both start with C. So for the other stuff, it would have to be like Hanukkah Hard River Beer. Oh. Yeah, that's too. Hanukkah. Hanukkah Hard River Beer Yeah that's two Hanukkah

Hanukkah What are you doing? Did you text somebody? Yeah Did you text on me? I texted someone Who did you text on me? Hold on one sec You guys come here Dave i need to have a private conversation with you can you come here okay so i think i just muted it but

um this is going really bad and i don't think they like me and i don't know what to do i can i'm sure yeah i don't think they like me mean, it's never gone well in the past. Okay, what do I do? You just have to like... I don't know. Should I be mean back or do I... Don't do that. You're just...

They can't hear? Just like run out the clock. Okay. Yeah. Should I be friendly? Yeah, there's no... You're not going to gain anything by being mean to them. Okay.

Just take the high road and just like okay hey guys sorry hi hey what uh who did you text oh i had to text dave back he was having some um back pain and i just had to give him some. Ouch. Yeah. He's older, so. Mm-hmm. What's like a Thanksgiving drink, I guess? Me? Always. I guess I would do cranberry, like the canned cranberry.

Okay. We were working with like the letters. Like Christmas Corona. Christmas Corona. And like Hanukkah. Han corona and the conica einiken yeah oh uh which is fine it's like so fine like so thanks totally so it's it's so fine um thanks so thanksgiving uh thunderstorm? Thunderstorm is not. Yeah, Thanksgiving Thunderbird, yes.

Thunderstorm, unfortunately, is not a drink. No, but to be fair, you could drink it. It's not safe. It's a car. Go ahead. A Thunderbird is a car.

But it's not only a car, is it? here's another drink idea you know haritos yeah yeah yep da retos right i could drink that right this is the best that's gone so far right we're all finally on the same we're all thinking about the drinks of soda we're all thinking about it's not haritos it's okay it's doritos instead of haritos or in addition to and you can taste it sort of can't you oh yes tastes good yes i'm working on a name one it's like based off of rumple stilt skin i think that the rumple part should be rumplemans okay the skin part i probably changed to spin and make it like a spin drift wow it's just the stilt in the middle that i'm really having trouble with do i just go silt rumple silt spin why did you start with rumple stilt skin that's the one connection i'm unable to make why is that the thing that you're using to

sort of absolutely a fair question my process was um wanting a very famous name and of course the entire story the entire legendary tale of rumple stiltskin revolves around this name this unguessable name yes yeah a name that holds such great power that it could undo evil deeds to be spoken aloud. Imagine drinking that name basically. Yes, yes.

Or a name similar, Rumpelstiltskin. So that's why I was working on that, but I'm also happy to not do that at all. Are you? Oh, well, I think if you're going to start that, I think if you're going to start the drink, if you want to do that,

you shouldn't do it if you're like on the fence about it. You should really want to do it or not do it. Okay. Thanks, Esther. You're welcome. Maybe just like mustard drink okay drink it with a pretzel i'm just noticing esther like this is by far the worst it's ever gone far the worst so much worse than the other ones when i thought i mean i was excited because i thought damn we're bringing in esther we've been throwing her all these curveballs

and we're just gonna give a nice slow one right over the plate for her and what i've what i've noticed is you're still waiting for your pitch what does that mean waiting for my pitch i wonder if um i can get at it a different way yeah i don't i'm not like a sports person no and that's what on me yeah i just i'm afraid to speak because you're like a dance person so i feel like you've been coming in and we've been playing all these different funky tempos in the past. And then I said, oh, we're just going to give her like a real simple two-step.

And you're still kind of hugging the wall, you know, and saying, that's not my song. So just to clarify what's happening. real please please you're telling me on your podcast right now that i'm doing a bad job and whoa and you have said in the past that you felt like you did a bad job we are just saying that this is worse than those okay and then also at least twice in a row i tried to speak and you told me i was interrupting and i'm like i you guys i came up in comedy in the comedy store hell yeah where like everybody was like you just didn't want to be the annoying girl right like that's kind of like how you survive is you just kind of smile and like um not be annoying and so that's what i like my default when you guys tell

me i'm interrupting and then you tell me I'm doing the worst job ever. Like I'm going to be quiet. I don't know. I think this episode will go so much better if I stay quiet. Esther. Enjoy it. Esther. Hang on.

Hang on. Whoa. Whoa. Now it's my turn to apologize to the listeners. I made Esther feel like she couldn't speak up. And what's happening for me, and I think the reason we told you that this was going so bad, is that I see you do your stand-up.

I watch the clips of you on your other podcasts. I see you be so funny. I run into you. We talk. You're funny. Hell, I feel funny when we talk. I'm getting laughs from you. And then the bright lights of the podcast come on and something changes something's blocking us

can i i've figured out what it is it's a language barrier yep you speak store we speak factory okay and at the factory if i'm not giving you the business then you know we got a problem you know if i'm not razzing you if i'm not like and if i'm not trying to make it hurt you know at the factory then that means that we got issues the way i came up at the cellar mm-hmm the worst thing you could hear from me is hey good job great set yeah set because that means that means i don't give a fuck yes that means i don't care what happens to you go out you're on your fucking own but when i come in and i start digging needling saying hey i think there's more in there you know what it means it means i give a shit it means i care shit i god damn it i'll fucking say it it means i love you

you know that's not easy god i'm so vulnerable right now so like i appreciate the drinks are sewed forget it you didn't have a single drink idea hey a lot of mine didn't work either the plug stuff you called me ugly big whoop i've been worse what what i'll say is let's find something for the last 10 minutes of the episode that we can all agree on and if that's tie-d tight on clothes i wore it just for you and i thought everyone will see how good i look and they'll want one too that was of course before i knew how ugly i was can i but the point stands it's a well-made item of clothing can i be vulnerable for a moment?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't know if we'll keep it in, but go ahead. Then never mind. Please. I just respect you both so much. I think you're both great. And every time I see you out in the world, I feel, wow, I'm so grateful to know them.

And then every time I sit here and I do your podcast, I feel so untalented is what I feel. I feel worthless. I feel not funny, for sure not funny and that's okay because comedy is subjective so it's these screens you know it's these screens and yours is

maybe dirty or something keeping us apart you know when you contract the novel coronavirus... Gives you a little perspective, huh? It puts certain things into focus. Mm-hmm.

What's really important. What's actually important in this life, huh? What matters? Mm-hmm. Is it my friendship with Esther? Is it my friendship with Hayes? Is it my friendship with Hayes? Is it my work relationship to Kevin? I think all those things,

with the exception of the work relationship to Kevin, are more important than some podcast. And to hear from you that something, you know, I created with my friend, this show made you feel untalented when you are unquestionably more successful than me that makes me feel fucking cool yeah that is like

okay something's working yeah right like i gotta have some way to kind of take the power back yes you know even if it's all smoke and mirrors it's like well shit all right little little pat on the back from my only issue is gonna be how do i make it last until the next one because it's gonna be a while until i get another one of those yeah that's right i gotta kind of coast off it can i share something troubling I've been noticed about the show Dollface? Yeah. I wasn't even sure whether to bring this up. But some of the advertising around town promoting the show,

of course the title is prominently featured, Dollface. and gangs of mass bandits have been just marauding through town with cans of spray paint. They do their job very quick. They get in, they get out. And they spray, they cross out the word doll and they write the word two instead. and they write the word to instead.

Who do you think is in charge of this organization? What gang is it? Who would want to get... Who? DC Comics? who it's dc comics you say dc comics aren't they doing the two-face um spinoff from batman oh my god so you you know about this and the show doll faces just to kind of be like a launching pad for a guerrilla marketing campaign for the Two-Face movie. Yeah.

I thought yeah, no, yeah, of course. The show that I'm on is not a show. It's not a show. It's a commercial for Two-Face. And the hot guy that you're dating, that's like Two-Face before he like is that the idea he's like dating you and okay totally fair question the the hot guy story that i reference is all fake so that that show dollface is not

coming out it's not real we got canceled after season one sort of wondering yeah yeah yeah okay this is making sense a little bit okay the hot guy's first fake that's good yeah because doll face that's really only one face so you would only need one season to tell that story two face i think could go at least two possibly four if he turns around and so the whole idea i saw the back of his head that they like had this hot guy and we're like oh why would he be dating her you know like you had never kissed a hot guy before like that was all totally fabrication oh my gosh i feel like i'm back at the fucking cellar getting the business from one of my buddies gosh you had me going with that fake story that was only meant to hurt my feelings now this is the kind of affection i can get behind hey thanks for taking me back there esther yeah of course um you were just

in salt lake city how'd it go good i got married good to a Mormon man. Yes. And you are wife number? Seven. Yes. Lucky number seven. Yeah.

So that was a lovely experience. Did you get along with the crew, the other wives, anybody we know? I love them. Mm-hmm. Have you been to Salt Lake recently? Then you might know them. They're lovely. What's all their names? They're actually all named Esther.

Wow. Okay. He's got a type. Yeah. What old so-and-so. And he is very old. He's our grandfather he's your grandfather

then why are you all that would be so confusing if you were all named Esther it's super confusing I told you it is super confusing alright great that's the part that bothered me you were acting like it might not be confusing

yeah but i'm good with it now congrats of course what they have up there speaking of drinks here's what i'm really excited for for you you know those freestyle soda machines where you get to like mix and match different soda flavor. They obviously don't have that over there because it's illegal to have soda. But they have it for different kinds of flavored milks. And so you go to McDonald's and you're like, hmm, what kind of mixed milk would I like to have today? Oh, mango peachy milk for me today. And they also have, obviously, milk flavored with all the different types of sodas as well.

So there's like Fanta strawberry milk, Sprite Remix milk. Strawberry breast milk. There is actually not strawberry breast milk. is actually not strawberry breast milk there's not that no there is no there's not you have to bring that you can yes you can bring you can put that with the stuff they have but you have to bring that i usually bring that and then i'll put in some of the soda milks cool did have you noticed something esther just in these last two or three minutes it's going really well and we're kind of doing a drinks episode aren't we yes and it was a lot of hard work it wasn't easy and the concept and i hated what we had to put you through

i think it did end up uh turning out some pretty exciting results pretty huge remember when you pitched strawberry breast milk that was your idea idea remember you brought that up thank you i'm i guess i'm so smart what's your name and um in doll face the fake show izzy phillips izzy Grossman and if someone asks what you're doing just tell them you're Izzy tonight Hayes that's right Izzy Grossman Izzy Grossman yeah Izzy Grossman

that's my character yeah wow yeah I know it's weird right it's weird not being like a That's my character, yeah. Wow. Yeah, I know. It's weird, right? It's weird not being like a 10 female in LA. Named after Sam Levine?

She related to Sam Levine? I don't know who that is. You know Double M? Mm-mm. Never did the Kevin Pollak chat show? Mm-mm. Okay, me neither. Me neither.

Before my time, honestly. You seem pissed. what can i do i'm i'm good is there anything i can do for you guys um you invited me here i just want to make i want to oh we're well we're always so happy to have you um just a quick just like let kevin tell you just two of the drinks that he's been thinking about over the course of the episode and then i think we should be good yeah we all know the alabama alabama fuck or Alabama. Fuck. Nah, never mind. Okay. Bye. Hollywood Handbook. This week on the Patreon,

Carl and Ahsan discuss the Dallas Cowboys' recent loss, the boys' writer response for Pete Davidson to Ye's diss track, and the flagrant ones are mostly talking all things basketball. Check out these bonus podcasts

and videos of the full episodes, including today's with Esther, at patreon.com slash theflagrowons. Hollywood Handbook. That was a Hate Gum podcast.