Hollywood Handbook - Margaret Cho, Our Tattoo Friend

Episode Date: August 26, 2019

MARGARET CHO joins The Boys to discuss all their tattoo. This episode is sponsored by hims (www.forhims.com/theboys), Quip (www.getquip.com/theboys), and Indochino (www.indochino.com code: HANDBOOK).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast uh so i'm in the the room with the big table with uh uh jerry or bark or bark uh and he's we're doing the jerry o show This was before the new Jerry O Show. Unfortunately, they had to do some triage on the show and find a different Jerry O. Yes, because now there's a new Jerry O Show with Jerry O'Connell. And it feels a little false, the level of energy he's bringing in. It does feel a little bit like a Jerry Orbach impression, doesn't it?

I have noticed this, yes. And we're watching it on maybe TV. I don't think anyone is sure whether the Jerry O'Connell show is on TV or not. There's a Twitter feed where there are clips that look like they might have been on a TV. Yes. Margaret, have you done the Jerry O' show? No.

I haven't been on the Jerry O' show. I have to, yes. You have to do it. Margaret, why haven't you done the Jerry O Show. I have to, yes. You have to do it. Why haven't you done the Jerry O Show yet? I have to. Often people will come to do this show having just done the Jerry O Show. It's a very common stepping stone to doing our show. They're completely wrung out when they get here.

Yes. I mean, that show puts you through your paces. And so this is what happened. Jerry O'Rourke is fixated on the idea of doing a Tom Katz reunion. Tom Katz's movie with Jerry O'Connell. Of course. Jake Busey, Horatio,

Shannon Elizabeth. Yeah. Where they make a Tom Katz bet where at their friend's wedding they say last one of us to get married wins the whole monies. Yes. And then Jerry O'Connell makes a bet at a casino and he owes $51,000 to Bill Maher.

And so he has to get Jake Busey to get married to Shannon Elizabeth so he can win all the monies from the pot. It's funny. To repay this debt. You know, there's a million movies. But he falls in love with Shannon Elizabeth, if you let me finish. There's a million movies made. And in a way, it's always the same story, isn't it? There's really only one story that we tell from Aesop through Euripides.

And now with Tomcatsats it's the same thing again the star-crossed lovers yes Shannon Elizabeth and Jerry O'Connell the Tomcat bet of course like in friggin Antigone you know all the same story again and again

what is it about humanity and what's hardwired into our sort of brains to want to hear this story? Margaret, you answer. It's the same story. It's the hero of a thousand faces. It's the same. That's Jerry O'Connell.

You see what he can do with his face. Yes. He can make it. Effectively rubberized. Huge, yes. It's either, it could be Jerry O'Connell. It could be some guy in the Mariah Carey video. It could be Luke Skywalker.

Everybody as a hero has the same face. Yes. It's Luke Skywalker's face. It's Jerry O'Connell's face. And it's Joseph Campbell's face, right? Explaining what the faces are. Exactly. Yeah.

So anyway, Jerry comes on the show and he's like, I'm going to do this very soon. And then he did this show, Jerry O'Connell Show. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook and Insider's Guide

to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet linebacker hallways of this industry we call showbiz. Showbiz? What up, what up?

Yeah. Showbiz? It is a show business. Normally we say showbiz just for, we don't normally say showbiz. Obviously you don't

know the show, but we say showbiz, you're here, showbiz. Right. Thank you. No business like showbiz. No. Mm-hmm.

Thank you for being here. Thank you. You have a legendary career. Mm-hmm. You have lots of stuff going on. You have live shows that you're doing this year. Yes. For your show, off the blow yes

is it should it be allowed for two things to have such similar names do you think okay i was afraid he would ask this yes it is i don't think it's allowed but i think we just do it anyway it is not allowed it's not really allowed. But should it be? No. It should be illegal. I agree. It shouldn't be allowed. Because I go to my TV and I say into my remote, fresh off the boat,

and I'm watching this thing that is funny as all hell, but is not your show. Yes. And I end up watching, I'm binging the entire series of this thing, thinking I'm watching Margaret's stand-up. I'm thinking this is a very long special,

a very long intro, because a lot of these stand-up specials do have a sketch before. Yeah, that's true. And so I'm thinking, this is a longer sketch than usual, because it was what? I mean, 13, 14 hours.

Yeah. Right. Was it funny? You bet yourself yes. Yes. I'm losing my mind 14 hours. Yeah. Right. Was it funny? You bet your sweet ass. Yes. I'm losing my mind. Yes. Yes.

I was laughing my ass off. But at the same time, I was kind of pissed. Yeah. I know. It's a bait and switch. Is that what it's called? Yes. It's a bait and switch.

When you have a similar name to something and then it's not that. The bait is having the similar name. Yeah. And the switch is the L. That one L. That one L just switches it. Game changer. He's game changer.

Hayes only operates his television through voice activation and he only watches TV under heavy sedation. So to expect him to really clearly enunciate a word like, well. Yeah, it's hard. That's tough.

You don't want to see me watch TV in my normal mind state. No. If you really think about what's happening, it's all these different people and all these colors. It's crazy. TV is ridiculous. Yes. Well, and with his experience, too, he just will dismantle it and remove any

amount of pleasure. He just knows everything. He goes, the camera's there. Look, the camera's behind them. Have you been on set? Yes. A little bit. A couple times. Here and there. One time in Canada, I think I was. Sounds like I'm a girlfriend in Canada.

That kind of thing. Yeah. But, you know, I don't really know. But it is a lot of stuff going on. Yes. It's ridiculous. Yeah. It's nuts.

It's so nuts. There's literally 10 or 12 people. Yeah. Doing this stuff. Yeah. It's crazy. I'm about to pass out picturing that. It's so crazy.

And you have a new Eerios podcast. Yes. The Margaret Cho. Yes. Did you get the idea to do a Cho show joke based on what we did at the beginning here? I did. You did steal it. I did.

Should that be legal? No. It should be legal, but I did it. When you're driving and you see the cops, do you just freak out? Because you have now admitted to doing multiple crimes. I know. I have warrants. Like, I'm driving.

I see the cops. Hello, officer. Have a good day. Let me know how I can help. My conscience is clean. Yeah. Is there anything I can do? Yeah.

You have peace of mind. Yeah. Yeah. I sleep like a baby My conscience is clean. Yeah. Is there anything I can do? You have peace of mind. Yeah. Yeah. I sleep like a baby under heavy sedation. Yes. So I don't have that concern, but I wonder, are you in a sort of animalistic fear state? I think so. I think all the time.

You know, I always have hackles, but they're only half up. Yes, I'm seeing them yeah only half only in my neck area yeah but the rest of like the rest of the hair is like kind of laid low i have to slick it back because it's always a little bit like alert but yeah definitely i'm living a lie yeah yeah and now i see you are wearing an athleisure track jacket that is zipped all the way up in order to try pin down the hackles. Unsuccessfully to restrain your hackles. To push them down.

But it's really hard. And your clothes are effectively doing the lumbata on you. Because they're being whipped in every direction by these powerful hackles. Hackles, hackles, hackles. And Eerios, new in every direction by these powerful hackers. Hackles, hackles, hackles. And Eerios, new

podcast network. Yes. We're going to do a show on there soon. Oh, good. First one that is actually for boys. I love it. Just for the boys. That's perfect. That seems fair to me. For the boys. Yes. The boys have to have a voice there. I love it. And who's this?

This is Lucia. Okay. She's Yes. I love it. And who's this? This is Lucia. Okay. She's my chihuahua. Mm-hmm. And she's also a podcaster. She is a podcaster as well. Is she talking on the mic ever? More the merrier, I said.

She's more of a listener. Okay. Oh, wow. But she's a really- We could use one of those. Yes. She's a very good listener. She's a really good interviewer. Listeners, this is like, people don't understand this.

Listeners are podcasters too. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Our full audience is podcasters. And even non-listeners. Mm-hmm. Yes. Everyone I see is a podcaster.

Yeah. On a certain level. Yeah. You just haven't found the mic yet. Exactly. Margaret, far from being beholden to sacred cows when you perform the stage as a veritable abattoir yes speak on that please the uh well yes um all of the uh the um cattle are slain.

What are some of them? Religion. First I do an air gun to the head of religion. A real fast air gun to the head of politics. And then I eviscerate all of the subjects

and bleed them out first because it's heavier. So you hang it upside down and then all of the subjects and bleed them out first because it's heavier. So you hang it upside down and then all of the blood comes out and then you, I guess, I guess you dismantle. You got to put it on the hook. It looks to me like you're feasting on the remains as well. Yes. So that's definitely.

Once they've been slaughtered, you make a big ass meal out of that. Yeah. And then I take like maybe a pancreas or a bladder and blow it up and make a ball and throw it around. Oh my gosh. And then that's the beach ball that's going through the stadium. So everybody do the wave. Wow. And it's the pancreas of

religion. Yes. Or the bladder. Or some kind of gallbladder. Bladder. Anything. Yeah. Any of those ones that fill up. Good God. Yes. Or the bladder. Or the bladder. Yeah, any of those ones that fill up. Good God. Yes. So you've talked about all these things, but there's one subject that you have always been resistant to talk about, which is how you wanted to say on this show that you have tattoo.

Yes. Yes. Yes. I, uh, I, speaking on that, I actually don't,

I wish I could do do-overs of tattoos. Like I wish I was kind of like an Etch-a-Sketch and I could just shake. It's pronounced do-vers. Do-vers. Do-vers. It's Bill Lawrence's company. Don't you want to do it over? You don't have tattoos. I know we do.

Where are they? Are they under? Under. Really? Way under. I am addicted to the stinky Yankee. It hurts, though. Not me.

Oh, I don't like it. It hurts. Feels normal to me and not getting them hurt. Yeah, I'm in pain all the time when I'm not going under the pen. Yeah, yeah. What are some of these tattoos? I have a bunch of birds. Yes.

Raptors? No raptors. Oh, you mean like a velociraptor? No. I mean this species of bird. Yeah. No, no, no. No k velociraptor? No. No. I mean this species of bird. Yeah. No, no, no. No kestrels.

No kestrel. No kestrel. Okay. No osprey. No. No, no, no. No. I don't even know what kind of birds.

I don't even know. They're like birds with like, not two cans, but they have maybe similar colors. Three cans. Three cans. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Devin, that really set him off. They have maybe similar colors. Three cans. Three cans. Yeah. Devin, that really set him off.

Devin, you want to talk about what was so pleasing for you about that? It was the surprise. The element of surprise. Comedy is only surprise. Margaret, you can speak to this. There's a lot of surprises. It's only surprise. It's only surprises. But then it's nice to have things that you expect, I guess, too.

So you expect jokes, maybe. Sure. But it's a surprise if there's no jokes. That would be a surprise. That would be a real surprise. And that is our show. Yes. We've been working on that.

Yes. We've been playing in that sandbox for quite a while. I like it. This is Devin. Hi. Hi. quite a while. I like it.

This is Devin. Hi. Hi. Engineer Devin, one of the last not fully betrayed us yet. He's a newer engineer. Everyone seems to see us doing this and think, I can do that. Oh, I can do that Oh I can do that Mm-hmm Lately We had a

I guess he called himself a producer And just to be clear They can Like They can do it Well that's what's so upsetting Yeah Is they say I can do that

And then very shortly after They're doing it And they're Oh Kicking our ass up and down Main Street Oh no Now No

We had a guy named Kevin Who was on this show see that chair he used to sit right there okay he called himself a producer but he was very clearly our subordinate yes he has determined that he could do that yeah yeah and started his own podcast okay called baby don't uh-huh and it is with his friend has that ever happened to you um no but i'm i'm i can sympathize i mean i think that that's that's hard when people say i can do that like it's always in that really high yeah okay i can do that yes and it's like a secret like personal voice you're saying to yourself when you can do that. I can do that. And it's like a secret personal voice you're saying to yourself when you say, I can do that.

It would be nice if for once it were just like a, I can do that. I mean, with the real conviction. That sounds like they're going to help me. Yeah. That sounds like an off. That would be nice for once. Supportive. It's supportive.

A supportive baritone. You've never had a subordinate rise up against you and try to destroy you. I wish. Lucia has never done that. No. You know, maybe she does get, I mean, she'll get mad if she's not in my lap. And then she'll bark out of indignant rage. This is reminding me of Kevin.

Would it surprise you to know that Lucia emailed us after you were booked to say that you were no longer available. The report had to be canceled. But she did actually have an opening for that exact same type slot this morning. Betrayal. It's like all about Eve. All about Lucia. The backstabbing. But we had heard that this might be something that she would do.

And we'd gotten a separate email from you, but written in very dog-like language. Oh, no. So it seemed, I had to assume that she had hacked your account. So we got the one like, hey, guys, this is Lucia. Margaret's going to be busy. You'll probably hear from her too. And then we got the email like, woof, this is Margaret.

Yeah. I choked on a bone last night. And I'm not feeling up to the record. And I thought, this story doesn't totally track. But it's interesting, something you should know. Because if I had known about the emails Kevin was sending out to try to sort of plot his escape, I could have maybe undercut him in some way before he got out there and started this podcast.

Maybe you should change your passwords. Maybe that's what it is. Yeah, but I'll forget them. Yeah. I'm going to forget them. My passwords, they're all my dad's initials, my mom's birthday, and a hand-drawn picture of Frankenstein. That seems like it would be hard to figure out, though.

You would think, yeah, but it's a very crude drawing. Oh, okay. It's extremely rudimentary. It's just the bolts on the neck. It's the bolts. It's like the square head, and then I spend a little too long on his genitals. Oh, so it's a whole body. Yeah, it's a nude Frankenstein. Okay.

I've never seen that. I've only seen just the head, maybe the rectangle. Yeah, people ignore the nude Frankenstein. We think of him only as clothes, but he is, after all, a Franken-man. True. And really, as Hayes is quick to point out,

Frankenstein's the doctor. That's right. Not the monster. Yes. But now I write it down for my after show notes. We've talked about this. I don't say it during the show. I'm always like taking a little,

okay, for next time we can do maybe fix this, this, and this. One of them, Frankenstein is the doctor. Chef Kevin, the producer, has you ever done a comedy bang bang show? Yes. You've done that one? Yes. Was it fun?

You have. Or you felt like you were just sitting watching? And when I say you have to for that show, it is they make you do it. Not pleasant to do. Too hard. For me, that is how you described the tattoo process. You're kind of just sitting there as it's like done.

It's like stenciled into you. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. But I like it. Okay. Good.

He is doing, he's a producer for that live show. Yeah. In Connecticut. Wow. Yeah. And who is he seeing last night in Connecticut? What else can he steal from me and Sean?

But Sean's mom. He stole my mom last night. He stole my mom. Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah, Engineer Brett, too. Oh, sorry.

Yeah, they stole my mom. I'm sorry. I did it to myself. I know. I could have visited more. I mean, yeah. You were thinking that? That's what I was thinking. Yeah. I feel bad myself. I know. I could have visited more. I mean, yeah. You were thinking that?

That's what I was thinking. Yeah. I feel bad, but you know. The way you said, I mean, feels like you know. Who's to blame? I haven't been back there in a little while. Yeah. I mean, what are you going to do? Yeah.

I really set the table for him and he just went ahead and munched on down. Munched on your mom? No. I mean. That's not. No. I guess I can't say with certainty, but. Yeah.

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you eat my meal the promises the meal makes us sleepy you've been pushing that so much you're saying that you will be added on to your bed yeah your bed plus one that's the opposite of what this is supposed to do it's supposed to help you stay a lot of these i know give you a ton of energy they have like smoothies and things like that reservation for two me walking in my bedroom what's the second it's you and your bed bad i guess clippy fuel up fast with factors restaurant quality meals that are ready to heat and eat wherever you are pancake smoothies and more discover a wide variety of easy options for the entire day like breakfast midday bites and more no we didn't even this is absolutely

this is not even up for consideration so let's just hear what the actual meal what was the food i don't want to go to bed it's very simple it's one huge chicken nugget sign up and save we've done the math factor is less expensive than takeout every meal is dietitian approved to be nutritious and delicious head to factor meals.com slash the boys 50 and use code the boys 50 to get 50 off that's code the boys 50 at factor meals.com slash the boys 50 to get 50 off be a better you in 2024 with babble the science-backed language learning app that actually works. Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language.

And the question that I always get, people stop me and they say like, hey, I trust you. I know when you endorse a product, it's something that you really use and care about. But there's one language that I'm trying to learn, and that's body language. Can Babbel teach me body language? Yes. Babbel now has visual in-person lessons. Part of their quick 10-minute lessons that they do for other languages is handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks babbles designed by real people for real conversations and that includes body-based conversations what does it mean when you drop someone off after a nice date and they turn around at the door and they take their little index finger and they kind of like draw it towards them.

They're pulling it. What does that mean? Does their finger hurt? I wonder if they spotted a spider web or something. They're trying to pull down the spider web. Yeah. But I've seen this too after a lot of dates. and i need i need and have needed something like babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks like a it looks like an emergency i know i was supposed

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let's return to the subject of tattoo. Tattoo. Let's talk ink. Okay. What tattoo do you think new for Sean? Choose a tattoo for me. How about a big, how about a big crest? A family crest? Do you have a coat of arms? I have a couple, yeah. Yeah, so maybe a coat of arms for your family. I have a few.

I have one big puffy winter one. Okay. Oh, no, no, not like a coat for your arms. A coat of arms. No, he knows. He means like it is a big puffy one for winter. No, no, no. I mean like, you know, like a banner that if you,

so if you were in the Game of Thrones, what's your sigil? Like, what's the animal that represents your family? The bog beast? Probably like a slug. Oh, yeah. So the bog beast? Yeah, it's like a bog beast covered in slugs. Okay.

So you can't even open his eyes. He's got so many damn slugs on him. Oh, so like a Korean beauty treatment. in his eyes. He's got so many damn slugs on him. Oh, so like a Korean beauty treatment. I suppose, yeah, maybe when the bog beast finally emerges from his slug shell, he will be quite beautiful. Yes, yes. Would it shock you to know that I once

was considered very beautiful? No, I'm not shocked at all. That's nice. I'm glad. I mean, I don't think it's over. I think you're still very beautiful. Well, that's very nice. Yes, Lucia thinks so too. Well, that's very nice. That's very nice. Yes.

Lucia thinks so, too. First person to ever say that. No. No. So, okay. So, you think I should get the sluggy bog beast tattooed? As your sigil. So, if that's like your family crest or your coat of arms.

Multiple quadrants to a coat of arms, isn't there? I guess. It's not all just a bog beast. No. I mean, but it not all just a bog beast no i mean but it would have like the bog beast would be the base of it and then it would have maybe like whatever the bog beast likes to have around him yeah he could be reaching into the other quadrants to get ostrich leg or or like seaweed or yeah you know what's in a bog What's in a bog Mud Moss Frogs

Yeah Dragonfly reeds Dragonflies It's kind of stinky What else in a bog Dead body Yeah well you are the dead body. The bog man is the dead body.

Right. Okay. So then you need all of his, like, accessories. And then that makes up the coat of arms or the sigil. Right. Okay. So what I would do is probably the initial tattoo would be just the bog beast on the coat of arms. And then I would add an accessory every year.

So I'd give him like a little toque or something. Yeah, on there, like a pipe, maybe. That could be nice to know that he's enjoying a relaxing smoke. Yeah, and, you know, maybe a flacken or like a, you know, a horn to drink out of. I'm not sure if I'm mixing Norse. No, a flacken. A flacken. Yeah.

Muck lux anything you know like that you know you would want to have in your bog with you it's kind of like a like an egyptian tomb like if you're a king and you're mummified you want to bring all of the you know like you would mummify all of your servants and your um right so that that when you are risen, you have your stuff. So I'd probably put him... First of all, he's going to probably be wearing a nice set of high waters, high waders. Yeah, because he's in a bog. Because he's in a bog.

Yeah, I don't want to get your legs wet. He's probably going to want to have some aloe or something. Aloe? Is that how you say it? Aloe? Oh, my God. Is that how you say it? Aloe? Oh my God, is that how you say it? Aloe Vera?

Oh my God. Oh my God. That's how you say it, isn't it? Aloe? Aloe? Oh no. No, it's just say it's Aloe. Oh no.

That's how you say it. That's how you say it. The original way that he said it. Aloe? Aloe. Aloe. Oh wow, No wonder. Okay.

All right. Yeah. He'd probably need to have some, some aloe. Aloe. Aloe. Is that right? Yeah, that's right. And that's so nice because so many tattoo is like, but whatever you put Bugs Bunny on

your like lower back. you give him nothing to eat nothing no toys right he needs rabbit like what is like he's a rabbit so he would need like um either the pellet food or carrots or a little water with a little one little drop uh dribbling out oh yeah like yeah, like a little dropper bottle. Yes. They drink that. Like a hamster bottle. Mm-hmm.

What do you see for Hayes' tattoo? How about, like, Tweety? Tweety. Okay. We're in the Looney Tunes world. We know he's got money. Okay. Tweety, spinning a We're in the Looney Tunes world. We know he's got money. Okay. Tweety spinning a basketball.

Big jeans. Yeah. Like a raver Tweety. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Tweety pacifier around the neck. Yeah. Little Vicks tube in his pocket just peeking out.

Or maybe even in his mouth. Yeah. Big pupils. Doing that dance where it looks like he's manipulating an invisible orb. Yes. Oh, exactly. With glow sticks tucked in between his feathers. Yeah. I mean, it would be great if he had an audience for that

because he could be doing the thing where he's sort of like rushing the glow sticks past somebody's head. Right. And it sort of looks like they're going down a glowing hallway oh yeah yeah that's a good idea sylvester tries to eat and he gets hypnotized yeah he's like damn and he's got a he's got a bad boy bill album on the box bad boy bill that is killer yeah and his food and stuff for him to pellet. Newspaper lining.

Yeah, newspaper lining. Like, I think, yeah. Two visors. Yeah. Double visor status. Yeah. Silk shirt with, like, sort of snaky designs on it, fully unbuttoned, so he can

feel the breeze on his chest. Yeah. Okay, and at long last, Engineer Devin. Tattoo. A tattoo? How about a baby's foot on your chest.

Okay. You mean the second one? The second one stomped him. Yeah, like a baby just stepped on you. Okay. He's getting stomped by a baby. Is there room on there next to the other one? I'm not sure.

I could probably find a spot. You're not sure? You're really involved in a baby stampede? You lose track, you get this many chats. Yeah, you do. You really do. You do. So yeah, I think that's good.

What would it mean? It seems like something, that could be something that Bugs Bunny would wear for good luck. Oh yeah. Exactly. Exactly.

That's right. Because a baby's foot would be good luck for anybody who's not, who's a rabbit. Yeah. That was sort of what I was thinking.

Right. I think that's true. That's smart. Eerios, give me a rundown of the politics. What's the power dynamic over there? Do people still like each other? Yeah, everybody loves each other. We have fun.

Enjoy it while it lasts. Yeah, there's no dynamics other than we have a good time with it. We have a good time. I remember that. You remember? When you had fun? When we first started out, yeah.

It should still be fun, though, isn't it? Should. It should. It should, you would think. It really should. Just a couple wide-eyed kids just starting out, just chasing down the dream of, you know, whatever we do. So who runs the company store, Lund or Blisugi? you know, whatever we do. How does it,

so who runs the company store, Lund or Blisugi? Both. They, okay. They're both manning it. Yeah. Everybody.

Everybody gets a turn. Oh, wow. It's like a commune over there. It is. Is it like an RPG where one of them is buying and one sells like practical items and one sells potions? Yes.

So it's kind of it's a lot and then we have like we just have booklets and then we have like a kind of a board and pieces but we don't move them

that much because we're just like talking through it. So yeah, exactly. Could be a good podcast. Dungeons and Dragons. Exactly. Could be a good podcast

to do a podcast about Dungeons and Dragons. Somebody should. Have you tried that? Yeah. Devin? Yeah, there's another D&D podcast. That's one that's advertised on here before.

Damn. Yeah. It's called Another, too, so that suggests there's already one before that. We doing ads? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right.

You want to compare notes on what we have today? Yes, I would like to. I don't know if these are going out with this episode. Or are they? I think they are. Seems unlikely. Well, either way, it's a great teaser for... No, I think it's likely. Oh, is it? I feel like we're normally recording ads on Monday at 4 for an episode that has to be done at 5.

Right. Promoting someone else's podcast, Hello from the the magic tavern act of total charity we receive not one cent oh no do you have to do that yes i think so but not for that one i don't know what that one is but wow you guys get shot across the bow. Yeah. Joe feuds with Magic Tavern dudes. Yeah, that's actually great press for us. Because they're like a Midwest show. They're set in Chicago.

And so they're sort of, it's not like a East Coast, West Coast feud. They'll find out that the feud is even happening in like three months. Oh, no. 4hymns.com, a one-stop shop for hair loss, skin care, sexual wellness for men. That's good. Are you doing that one? No, I should. You have to.

I have to. You do it Roman? Yes. Feels like you either do that or Roman. Yes. Okay. Oh, Quip. It's hard to know what the company is because it's all lowercase.

It's hard to find on the page. Quip, toothbrush. Oh, yes. Yes. Do you guys do toothbrush? Yes. Do you do that one? Yes.

What's your angle? That you have to brush your teeth sometimes. We should do that. We should. We've been searching. We have been looking for a way to really sell it. And finally, Indochino. It's like a custom made

Suit Bespoke Bespoke Is that how you say it? Bespoke Bespoke God damn it Bespoke

Indochino Is Sort of our white whale why? we've yet to do an ad for them where we really feel like we nailed it you say the name and then

I think you have to go into more detail yeah maybe we try it should we try one? yeah try it and Okay. Should we do... Do you want... Should we try one? Yeah, try it. Try it. Okay. All right.

And I don't have this in front of me, so I'm going to be totally winging it. Okay. Lucia, you all right? She just wanted to change positions in her bag. Yeah, she's getting sneaky. Everyone knows that the difference between a custom-made suit and an off-the-rack suit is like night and day. Mm-hmm.

So what... Is there something there? We want to play around if possible. I never had a custom-made suit, so I don't even have a suit. So I don't know. I mean, what do you mean like a custom? They're all kind of custom-made though, aren't they, in a way? That's interesting. Yeah, you have to get it fitted, I think.

That's interesting. They are all custom-made. Kind of. I don't think they want us to say that. Okay. I think that's interesting maybe there's a they are all custom made kind of somebody's making them I don't think they want us to say that okay maybe it's like

it's like night and day so like one of them is normal and the other is when Batman comes out uh huh or a Batman suit okay

but I mean it's like night and day I can't be the only one who hears the words night and day I think it's like the Tom Cruise Cameron Diaz vehicle yes I mean I can't I literally can't be the only one who hears the words night and day. I think it's the Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz vehicle.

Yes. I mean, I literally can't be the only one who immediately went, oh, that's like the Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz. Did you see that? Night and day. No, I didn't. They're riding the same motorcycle. Oh, no.

Did you see Tomcats? No. Oh, God. You're positive. I'm so positive. Unfortunately, I have not. But in a way, you have seen night and day, and you have seen Tomcats, because it really is the one story.

Because every hero has a thousand faces. Yes. It's the visit from the goddess. That's right. Yes. Here's how it works. You or your favorite gentleman visits one of Indochina's 40 shore rooms across North America.

Who do you all say are your favorite gentlemen? Hang on. I got to think. Okay. I've got mine. Okay. Are we doing it? Wait, do we do it at the same time? Yes, all at the same time we say our favorite gentleman.

Okay. Okay. One, two, three. Q, James Bond. Engineer Devin. Engineer Cook. Wait, who was yours? Engineer Devin.

Oh, mine's Alistair Cook. That's kind. Alistair Cook. Okay. Jeeves. I said Jeeves. Okay. Oh, Jeeves is good. I said Q from James Bond. That's good, too. Oh, mine's Alistair Cook. That's kind. Alistair Cook. Okay. Jeeves. I said Jeeves. Okay. Oh, Jeeves is good.

I said Q from James Bond. Oh, that's a good one. Which Q? Shut up. I thought it was Dame Judi Dench's Q. So Devin is drooling at the opportunity to correct you. Who's Q? Q's the quartermaster.

He outfits James Bond with his weapons and gadgets. Oh, so it's... It's not named Judy Dent? She's M. Oh. She's the boss. Oh, well.

Yeah. Who's Q in the... Noah Taylor? Sorry, Ben Whishaw at the moment. Oh, I thought it was Noah Taylor. No, no.

Who's Moneypenny? Oh, I can't remember the name. Moneypenny is the... Moneypenny is his assistant. Yeah. Kind of. Devin, shut up. Do not say yeah like that.

Yeah. To our guest. To our guest. She's a good guest for us. She does assist James Bond, though, so that's fair. She has a legendary career. She's one of the greatest stand-ups of all time. I know.

She says Money Petty's the secretary. You say, yeah, thank you. Yes, thank you. Well, there's a reason they call me the March Maniac. I get maniacal around this time of year because March Mania is happening in DraftKings Sportsbook, one of America's top rated sportsbook apps, is giving new customers and maniacs like me a shot to turn five bucks into $150 instantly in bonus bets with any college basketball bet. Those maniacs are even more maniacal than me, the March maniac. And during March mania, I get a little maniacal.

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On behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas, 21 plus age varies by jurisdiction void in ontario bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance see dkng.com slash b ball for eligibility and deposit restrictions terms and responsible gaming resources life can be ridiculous but you know what's not funny getting ripped off and And Harry's agrees. So what we want to talk about today with... Sorry, you said Harry's or Harry? I said Harry's. We always talk about Harry's first, and then we talk about you, Clean Harry,

who are sort of our new... Noted. Mask guy, I don't know. Note taken. For this campaign. Talk about Harry's first what we want to talk about is something funny that happened to you recently great a ridiculous or fun situation that you were in okay recently that's the prompt and that'll take us into discussing the product particularly funny the product funny to me or funny to just anyone i i mean do you

you feel like there's a difference there like you yeah i mean i've had things happen to me that i suppose you would find funny okay but that you didn't find funny and and you know not really and you have things that have happened that you would find funny but the rest of the world would not. Yeah. I guess I'm interested in that one. That I would find funny? Yes. But that others would not find funny. You seem to think that you have a specific taste when it comes to what's funny or ridiculous that is not. I ordered a scented spray for my pillow to help me sleep at night

like a lavender scent okay and uh they they accidentally sent me two okay so you understand that most people would not buy that funny or ridiculous but but you but you do i just had a little chuckle about the mix up at the at the shipping uh warehouse harry saw customers getting screwed over by questionable that's a come up overpriced shaving product harry on the come up i decided to do something better instead of charging the same stupid high prices harry's found their own way double scent bottle beautifully designed razors for a fraction of the price of other big brands except bogo baby exceptional products honest prices i don't

is there a bogo as part of this because i don't want to be like talking about no but that's what happened no but i clean harry Punk. Actually got two bottles. Buy one, get one. Their deodorant, their lotion, their body wash, their hair gel, all very high-quality products. They all smell great. German engineer blades made in their own factory. They stay sharp longer.

You get a five-blade razor, weighted handle, foaming shave gel, and a travel cover for just three bucks at harrys.com slash the boys highest customer satisfaction in the shaving industry no risk trial don't like your shave no worries it's on them getting ripped off isn't funny do you want to hear what happened to me that you might find yes yes sure but that you didn't. So you're attuned to this stuff. I got my foot stuck in the dryer at the laundromat and it somehow turned on. And you know that that was something other people would find funny based on the responses you were getting. A lot of people inside that laundromat seemed to find it pretty humorous when my legs started spinning around and flipping me over what happened was i was holding my laundry basket with both

hands and i saw oh still a sock left in the dryer so i stuck my foot and tried to pick it up with my little toesies i wear sandals punk and as i'm picking it up i just sort of tripped and my foot got wedged in between there's like slats in there and stuck inside there and then i don't know who somebody pushed the button or what but it turned on and the thing starts flipping over and i'm flying in circles help punk help me you punks. Are your clothes staying in the basket? Are you going fast? No, no, no.

I'm wearing all of them by the end of the cycle. Get started with a $13 trial set for just $3 at harrys.com slash the boys. That's harrys.com slash the boys for a $3 trial set. Hollywood handbook. Bosh is friends with Lucia now. I know they're close. He's so cute. He's a good boy.

He's a great boy. What's he, do we give him a chance to say what he's been up to lately? Yeah, we can dig in on that. I'm trying to even think of what's been going on. Okay, Bosh,

I mean, you don't have to think about it. Bosh, what's been happening in the house lately? My stupid idiot brother wants to freaking sleep. Bosh has a brother who's a human baby. Oh! Yeah, and he sure does want to nap and not want me to bark all the time. But if I don't bark, how does everyone know that the whole street is mine and you're not even allowed to get out of your car near my house? He's just very protective of his family.

Yeah. He's very protective. He's such a good boy. And he gives his brother kisses. Oh, that's cute. Lucia's very protective. He's such a good boy. And he gives his brother kisses. Oh, that's cute. Lucia's growling. The rule is I'm allowed to give my brother one kiss, whatever I want. And that's the official rule.

So cute. Yeah, he's been, I mean, I guess he's been spending some time in the backyard working with Tony. What else has been going on? He is on a hunger strike. Oh. I don't really do food. Why? That's not me. For like a cause? It's disgusting.

It becomes freaking poop. Jesus. That's what it does. It's pre number two. I think it does go through some more changes, though. I think so. And some of it gets absorbed for you.

Basically, so I'll lay it all on the table, and he's not going to want me to say this. I did take Bosh to the vet. He has lost four pounds. We obviously hope on this comedy podcast that there's nothing serious going on, but it was all since we had changed foods for him. Now, some of these raw, high-protein foods,

I don't know what you got Lucia on, and it may not matter for her, but he's a pretty finicky eater. Oh, yeah. Common with huskies, I guess. Yeah. Some of these raw, high-protein foods, they don't have enough calories. Oh, I see. They're so high in protein, but they don't have the calories.

And since he doesn't eat the full amount that would be recommended yeah this guy lost four pounds and the vet went so he's lost four pounds is that intentional as if we had put him on a diet oh no and we said no no no no. So now we got him on this high calorie food. That's for like athlete dogs. Yeah. Like special, like dogs who are, he's not an athlete. Hey, God, hey, God. And he still is being very rude about when and how much he'll eat.

Do you have any tips? I think, well, I don't know. Like, she's a very picky eater, too. So sometimes I just, like, will pretend to eat it myself, and then she wants it. I do that. I pretend to eat it, and so he's licking his chops, and I go, oh, this is just for me. Also, I put roast chicken in there. I slice up cheese in there.

I've been cooking eggs for my man in the morning. I've been cooking him eggs. That's nice. This is what he'll do. Three times, if you cook him eggs, he'll eat it up. The fourth time, ew, eggs. Oh. Sick.

Gosh. Eggs again. Yuck. So picky. So then you got to go, all right, so now what do I do for his next three meals? Maybe it's cheese. Three times he'll eat the cheese. Yeah.

What time? Yuck, cheese. Oh. Are we pretending to eat on the floor or at the table? Oh, at the table. Okay. And then I'll just pretend to eat it, and then she'll want it that way. Then I'll put it down on the floor, and then she'll really go for it.

I'm upside down on an inversion machine. That helps. But go ahead. It's a coat hanger. That's what you call an inversion machine. You just kind of dangle's a coat hanger that's what you call it in version but you just kind of dangle from a coat hanger yeah a sturdy wooden one it could be good

while the food's on the table you put the dog sitting in a chair and you put a jacket on him and you put your arms through the coat and are like pretending that the dog has human arms and the dog is eating and going viral at the same time. I like that.

That's really smart. Instead of just so often they are just eating and not going viral. Have you noticed this? I know. They need to be going viral and eating. Well, and feeding them costs money, but going viral obviously makes a lot of money. That's right. Hi, boy.

Hi, boy. Hi, boy. Ew, sick. Peanut butter, yuck. Can you hear her? Yeah, she's getting a little growly. Bosh, you're making her nervous. He just wants to give a kiss, though. She doesn't have any cackles, though, so she's, like, welcoming it.

Margaret, thank you. Thank you. Do you have anything else? And Bosh hurt her. Oh, Bosh, what did you do? I love him. He put his paw on my leg.

Oh, I'm sorry. It was very brief and then he took it down. He's asking for something. It was like very brief and then he took it down. He does. He's asking for something. Well, he is the best. Yeah.

I love him. I apologize. He got that big old Paul. And I hate that he used up so much of your promotional time. So we are running just a tiny little bit. But can I ask, where can we find you? I'm everywhere. Yeah? I'm everywhere. Yeah. I'm everywhere.

I know I could be on, well, my podcast comes out on Tuesday on the Ereos Network, but you can get it on any place you get podcasts. Holy cow. It's coming out the same day as this one? Yeah. This is a freaking, oh my God. It lit through the heart. I know.

Yeah, we had a good run that is so bad we did but that's so bad oh look he's putting his paw on your leg too did that hurt you Hayes now he's trying to comfort me

but yes he is hurting me that is so bad that's so bad for us Tuesday don't say Tuesday god damn it alright well enjoy bye Don't say Tuesday. God damn it. All right, well, enjoy.

Bye. Thank you. Hollywood Handbook.