Hollywood Handbook - Maria Thayer, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: February 15, 2016

Hayes and Sean immediately start having a conversation with MARIA THAYER where they offer romantic advice to the listeners and get some of their own as well.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Oh. And we're sort of making chit-chat, and the nurse comes in. And he, yes, men can be nurses too, says, she's changed her mind. You know, she doesn't want to do the sort of Russian roulette thing. She only wants one of you to be the donor. And he's looking right at me, and it's obvious I've been chosen. And I just am in a panic because I know Denis can handle it. Right. But if Boban starts crying, I'm going to start crying. Do you know what I mean? I totally know what you mean.

I wonder what the – because I know you guys had mixed it already at home. Yeah, but I could go again. Okay, so maybe that was why you were chosen. I was ready to go again, yeah. Yeah, I was already primed. Because the process of separating it is hard. It's very hard. Yes, it's hard.

You have to know your own really well, which I did, and again, Denis did. But Boban, I feel like, was going to get so frustrated. Right. And if he starts crying, I'm going to lose it. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook. An insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet Linebacked Hallways of this Industry We Call Showbiz. If you like to kiss and hug, what an exciting weekend for you. Did I say what up, what up?

Just now? Or do you want me to say it? Yes. Do you want me to not say it? And then would I say both? You want to do the whole thing? Do you want me to not say it? And then would I say both? You want to do the whole thing? Well. Do you want me to go get in my car?

I know this is not what is best for the show, but that is what I want. Because I think in order to do this, you have to think you're the best. Yeah, it's true. And I don't think there's any shame in that well you know when i was um playing professional basketball and people would say you know i was thought of as sort of a sixth man because i'm just a natural scorer yes and people would say do you think you should be starting and what would i say best player i'm the best player in the world i'm the best player on the team i'm best player in the world. Yes, I should be starting.

And then all of a sudden, I'm a troublemaker. I'm causing discord with the team because I'm not embracing my role coming in off the bench. I never said that. I never complained about coming in off the bench. But if you ask me, point Blake, do I deserve to start? Yeah, I fill it up. The hardest thing to do in the NBA haze,

and this is why they keep score, is get buckets. Yes. So when you got a guy that fills it up, yeah, you might want to put him on the floor. But if they want me to come up the bench, that's how I can help the team. That's what I'm going to do.

And you were very slow to... As a runner, yeah. To get to the other side of the court. Oh, for all of it. For defense. Oh, God. Well, I'm not going to wear myself out playing defense when the hardest thing to do in the NBA is get buckets.

And if you just stay down on the other end, it's way easier. Yeah, and then when they get the ball, you yell. Yeah, if you get a rebound, jump up and down. Over here. Anyway. So to answer your question. Do you think you should be saying it all? Yes, I think I should be saying everything.

And that's the only way to succeed in this business is to believe that you're the best and that other people are actually bad compared to you we've had a long string of boys yeah it's been a boys club on the show boys night in

people like that but we also thought it would be nice especially for a holiday that is about kissing and love and all this, to have a female presence on the show. To have a guy in here for a discussion of that kind of stuff, to you, is weird. Well, it could be strange, especially since we've already got the guy's perspective. Brett's bringing that to the table. Right, Brett? Yep. Hey.

That's it. So then we've got the... Brett's hair these days is like he shaved the sides, sort of like Macklemore, but it's a continuation of his beard now,

all the way up until, it's so difficult to picture, but his beard now goes all the way up to the top of his head. It's symmetrical, like vertically. Yeah. Oh, his head would be the same upside down. Yeah, if you turn your head upside down, that's the goal. It's just trippy. Symmetry is supposed to be beautiful, yeah.

And so it's sort of, you know that picture where it's an old woman or a young lady, depending on how you look at it? Yeah. Brett's kind of like that. Yeah, or it's a rabbit if you look at it from the other way. What I wanted us to get to is, Brett's bringing the man perspective. Hayes and I are neutral.

We don't take sides. And then, of course, we have Maria Thayer. Yes, Maria Thayer is here. And now time to speak. Yes. Hang on. Hey, what do you think, Maria? What up, what up?

That's not my personality. No, but I like that you were bold enough. I agree, it doesn't fit. I was trying out a new personality just for this podcast, and it's not working already. But she felt like she could pull off a what up, what up, and that's the kind of confidence that books you big acting work on those who can't.

Nip Tuck we're Big Fans Of, Big Fans. That's a deep cut. We love it. That's a deep cut in the Maria Thayer catalog. And let's talk about your career. Accepted. What about it? Well, it was a movie.

Who's your character name in that? Oh, you know what? It was Rory Thayer. They were too lazy to give me a different name. Wow. They used my own name. My own last name. Well, if it ain't broke.

And was that based on anyone you knew in real life? Rory Thayer? Yeah. Or just that character character did you draw from your friend my friend

I don't I'm sure that there is someone like that but I I you don't know them you invented them it was completely

from my imagination Rory Thayer yeah and continuing with your story forgetting Sarah Marshall I invented it. It was completely from my imagination. Rory Thayer. Yeah. And continuing with your story, forgetting Sarah Marshall after that. Sure. Is that supposed to be Rory as well? Yes, is that Rory from Accepted? No, when you do movies, a lot of times you have different characters in different movies.

Yes. You know what I mean? Sometimes, but this one looks exactly. She appeared identical, and I remember watching, and I was so distracted that someone from Accepted, which was kind of my college experience in a way, was showing up in Forgetting Sarah Marshall where I went, is it spring break or something?

How'd she get to Hawaii? Because, see, most people think, like, oh, it's Maria Thayer, the actor, is doing all these things but you think it's like rory thayer the rory thayer the the the person we didn't know you maria i just met you today but i met but i met rory uh-huh sure in a theater a few years back uh-huh uh-huh and that made a big impression uh-huh yeah yeah yeah what up Yeah. What up, what up? Hey, that's starting to work for you. You think so?

Yeah, that's starting to feel pretty natural. Great. It's maybe better than having me do it or Hayes do it. It's a good compromise we have the guests do it. We wanted to discuss, like we said, the story of Valentine's Day and what it means to people and do a special episode about that. Some people are very nasty about it and say that it's a big joke. Oh, yes. That it's invented by card stores.

Yeah. Is it invented by card stores. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Is it invented by card stores? Yeah. Who cares? I mean, it's love. Do we need an excuse, really, to show each other romance and love? It's true. I mean, I'm confused.

In your introduction, you said that guys don't like to hug and kiss. It's girls that like to hug and kiss. No, it's not that we don't like to hug and kiss. It's girls that like to hug and kiss. No, it's not that we don't like to hug and kiss. It's that to talk about hugging and kissing with another guy is like people might listen to that and be like, what's happening? These guys are talking about hugging and kissing with each other and it's like that is great, And it's like, that is great. Great.

But we think that's great. Sure. But it would be disgusting for us to do that. Oh, my God. Only because. No, listen, we love it and we think it's great. Sure. But it would be so bad. But also, and to be grossed out by it is funny now

what what i wanted to say to first before we get anything else out of the way is thank you for coming on the podcast and you've been on some big podcasts you did spogged huh i did spogged spont spot oh spot yes i didn't know that that was did you also do spogged. Spont. Spont. Oh, spot. Yes. Spont. I didn't know that that was a... Did you also do spogged? I don't know. If there was one called spog, I would like to do it. No, I did spot. Spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, spog, sp have to. Yeah. No one is comfortable saying the whole name. Life is finite. You have to,

it's best to just shorten anything that long. You got to save time. And I'll only read the first page of a book now. And if it hasn't grabbed me, I throw it in the trash because I can't commit to a whole book. I'm too old at a certain point. Sure. When I was 19, 20, 35, I could read 20 pages of a book and go, okay, I'll stick with it a little. Do you consider that you've read the book after you've read the first page? Do you feel like I read that book? No. I consider that I've made a decision whether this is

a book that I need in my life. And if page one doesn't get me, if it doesn't have a great opening line like Howard Rourke laughed. And his trash can has little eyes drawn on the top and so it's like funny to feed it stuff yes it seems like it's a real guy who wants different food yeah om nom nom scrum nom nom, mmm yummy books. Something that my trash can might say. And so I think it's

even starting a book for you, you're sort of hoping you won't like it so it can go in the trash can. Just for the fun of, yeah, I'm looking for any excuse not to read the book. Which means that I only read the greatest books. Is life finite because

it's always getting a little bit longer you know people are getting so old we'll probably all live till we're 100 well all we have to do is get up to the point where they're like oh now they're now you get a little more or now you get a little more or they download our our uh memories into a robot that Yes. That's the newest thing. Yes. That's the newest thing that people are doing. You better not try that with me. Because what would happen?

Ask the robot. You'd go crazy. You'd really go nuts. I'd go psycho. I'd just start swinging. That's the reason that you don't want to fight with me. I'm not the strongest guy, but I just go crazy. So if a robot had your memories, they would, with the strength of a robot.

Even just trying to plug me into something like that. The only fear is that you get dizzy. Well, yes, because my fighting style is circular. trying to plug me into something like that. The only fear is that you get dizzy. Well, yes, because my fighting style is circular. And so, yeah. And so it's very easy for me to sort of get dizzy, fall down. But let's hope it doesn't come to that, that any robot stuff that happens to me will be my choice from now on.

Well, that's a perfect segue into some of this romance stuff. Another reason we wanted to talk about, because love bots? Yes. Should they be? Are you asking me? Yes. This is good, because we want to do relationship question love advice. And that's a good first question. And we like doing that because Anna Faris has a new podcast where she does that stuff.

She's not even part of a network, I don't think. And people are listening. Get this. Somebody shows up and just like starts their own, just like shows up where we're like, people have actually been doing this for a long time. They're not paying their dues. And she shows up and she's just like, oh, now I'm doing it. And everyone's like, oh, well, maybe you actually want to join like one of these networks.

And she's like, no, I think I'll just like do it myself. And it's like, get this. Get a load of this. And then what I would have loved to see is that people don't listen and that she's punished for that, but instead people are listening, liking, and she's making pod masks right away. So for me, I just got to say,

we could do that too. And maybe we'll give relationship advice on a network and then you'll really see who listens and Maria Thayer will be here. Sure. I have a lot of advice. Love bots. Should they be?

A love bot is a robot that loves, right? Did you see Ex Machina? Oh, I did. That's a love bot? Trippy, right? Yeah. That should be. That should definitely be.

Yeah. Right? Yeah, because Oscar Isaac was good in that. I like that love bot, too. Do you think the hashtag Oscars are so white? Do I think it? Yeah. I mean, I have thought, I've read it.

Yeah, that the hashtag Oscars are so white? Yeah. Because Oscar Isaac was good in that movie. Just expand on that a little bit. That Oscars are so white or that Oscar Isaac was good in that movie. Which one? Yes. I don't know.

It's an odd argument, isn't it? It's hard. It's a gray area. Because what we're saying is Oscar is not white. Yeah. Sure. But. The Oscars.

But plural. But the Oscars are too white. It's touchy. Because they didn't involve Oscar. Mm-hmm. Who's not white. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

That's tough. Brett, the male perspective. He was Poe in Star Wars. Oh. That's Wars. Oh. That's good. Yeah. That's helpful. Real dudes, dude.

Maria, did you see that? I saw Star Wars with my family. Could you believe BB-8? Is that the robot? Is that the love bot? Yeah, that's R2-D2, yeah. I could believe him. Should he be? Of course. Of course he should be him should he be

of course of course he should be should he be so funny right should he be B.A. hey that ruled Brad so

we want to take some questions from the guys let's get in there Because I think our question Got answered Did we Did we okay that Did we answer that Love bot question

Enough That was really helpful For me Yeah Or do we Or do we also want to ask questions From our Personal experience

With Let's Why don't we do some People like it Questions from the audience You want to do some From the audience Okay

Because we can always Ask stuff about ourselves. I know where I am. Okay. Let's find a good one. And if we don't find any good ones, that's okay. Yeah, that's fine too. Here's one.

From Jackal. Jackal. Yes. Like the animal. The Jackal. Oh, wow. The assassino. Jackal. Jackal. Yes. Like the animal. The Jackal. Oh, wow. The assassino. Jackal.

Maria. Yeah. What songs do you like to make Whoopi to? And now, and I should say, I introduced it as being from Maria, to Maria, but he didn't know that you were going to be the guest when he asked this. So he is just looking for, I think, songs in general to make Whoopi 2. He's not curious for you specifically or anything like that. The way that you said it was creepy, but now I'm just realizing that.

That was just a general, I was trying to personalize it for you. Also, someone named Jackal, it's already on the line of like, that seems intense. Yes, like a devious personality with other plans. Are you thinking that it's from the Bruce Willis movie, The Jackal? I wasn't thinking that. Where he has all those big guns. And the Jackal's a terrorist. Sure. I mean, the jackal's

always up to no good. Yeah. Also, but it's confusing because the jackal says making whoopee, which is sort of a sweet way of it's like old fat. It's like what my... It's one of the sweetest ways to describe the act of love. Yeah. Making whoopee. I remember a mayo

commercial with that making whoopee song. a mayo commercial with the that making whoopee song does anyone else remember that no no oh no how how did that how was that in it was like a fridge and i think it was like two um condiments combining you know and it was like another season another reason for making whoopee and uh maybe it was like another season, another reason for making whoopie. And maybe it was like the mayo was becoming lighter and fluffier. You said a mayo commercial. No, no, no, no, mayo. Because I thought it was mayo in the fridge.

It was like mayonnaise and something else. Anyway. Anyway, songs to make whoopie to. Yeah. Is it that song? I mean, that wouldn't be, it'd be a little on the nose, but it will do in a pinch. So you want something more subversive. I guess so. Like, yeah.

Do the Bartman. Some acid rock or something. Oh, okay. Do the Bartman. Do the Bartman, yeah. That'll do in a pinch. I don't like the part when Lisa comes in

on her saxophone no no and and Bart's like Lisa stop it you know like Bart's on my side

Bart wants me to be able to like continue uninterrupted so he's like Lisa stop blowing on that horn for me that's part of it. But it is.

Yeah, just the fact that there's sort of a... It's a phase change. Yes, yeah. It allows me to try new moves. Sure, sure. What other songs do you make whoopee to, Maria? Yeah. What other songs do you make whoopie to, Maria?

What are the particular songs? What are the songs? What are the particular songs? Okay, let's think. What are the songs? What about the theme to Rocky? Do you think that that would be exciting or would put you in your head? You'd feel like you have to be better than maybe you are.

That's better for when I'm training to make love. You know what I mean? Eating a lot of eggs. Yeah. Shadow boxing. But living on the edge. That makes a question how you make whoopee. Does that make a question? Does that make a question how I make whoopie?

Well, maybe that's a question that the viewers or listeners would like to have sort of dancing in their minds. But it's like a full pint glass of eggs. Yes. Half a dozen eggs. Cooked. Oh, yeah. Scrambled eggs. Yeah.. Oh, yeah. Scrambled eggs. Yeah.

Because raw is gross. It's really unsafe. They should be cooked. A little parsley. Aerosmith. Aerosmith. Okay, now we're getting somewhere. And then is that the song or is that just a band?

That's a band. They have a lot of songs. Great. Living on the edge. Am have a lot of songs. Great. Living on the edge. Am I making whoopee to that? What about the one where she's got gum? Janie's got gum? Yes.

Oh. Yeah, you could, especially the bang sound in it. Remember the- That's the gum popping. That one song about just the color pink that they did? Yes. What about just the color pink that they did. What about just with the news on? Oh, okay. Oh, that's really interesting.

And infusing the news with your moves in certain ways. And if there's some good news on, you know, that sort of. Then you're having a good time. But if they start to give some bad news on. Yeah. You know, that sort of. Then you're having a good time. But if they start to give some bad news. Yeah, like thunderstorm. Mm-hmm. Thunderstorm. You incorporate some of that?

I have a question. Oh, great. In general. What do you do if your girlfriend kicks your ass regularly? Like beats you up or kicks your ass at like Monopoly? No, she like really beats my ass. Is this happening to you? Are you trying to... I think we just are thinking of questions.

This is just a general... Some people date people who were in the Matrix. And you want to... And as an example, Carrie Ann Moss was in the Matrix. That's actually my girlfriend. That's your girlfriend. You're dating Carrie Ann Moss. So The Matrix. That's actually my girlfriend. That's your girlfriend. You're dating Carrie Ann Moss. So that's a great example for me.

And sometimes she played Trinity, who was pretty strong. Yes. And sometimes she will be mean and sort of try to dominate you with her words and so then you get really bad and you try to just like kick her a little bit but then she she like wants you

to do something first so then she can kick your ass and what yeah and what I've seen is that Hayes, when he's losing an argument, will try and step on somebody's foot. That's what, yes. So that's how it starts.

That's sort of what the kicking motion is. Or it'll just be like a little kick in the shit because you just get so mad. You're really just trying to sweep her legs out. You're trying to trip her and make her fall on the ground. And then what does she do? She just starts. First of all, she dodges the kick, uses my momentum against me, so I'm swept almost upside down.

Well, what I've seen again is he goes to, and I thought he was trying to step on her foot, but she is able to catch his foot and spin him, so he does a full backflip, lands on his feet, and she is able to catch his foot and spin him so he does a full back flip, lands on his feet, and is just like, what? Wow. Yeah. Well, I don't see what the problem is then.

It sounds exciting. Well, he didn't choose to do that back flip. It is exciting. I know, but that's even the best part of it. What music do you listen to when that happens? What music do you listen to when that happens? She will sometimes give me the option of what to listen to before it really begins. Yeah.

She'll ask me what I want to play. Just from what I've seen, it's usually Aerosmith, and a lot of times it is that song about the color pink that they did. Yeah, there's that one. I guess dude looks like a lady sometimes, although in retrospect, I guess now I feel like that could be about me. You know? Yeah. Because she is.

I guess what made me think of it is that she is sometimes having me put like a bra on before, you know. And then also that Raise Your Glass song that Pink did. I feel like you're listening to that one a lot. That just happens to be on, I guess, in your house mostly when I come over. Yes, sometimes. Yes, because we have it on vinyl. Great show.

Now, so I have a question So What if you And this is sort of just a general relationship thing I came up with But what if you have A best friend And

Maybe you even work with him in some capacity It's kind of work, you don't get paid for it But it's like some people do get paid for what you do. And you're wondering if there's something more there. Sure. And how do you

tell, how would one tell their best friend that they work with? Do you bring it up as a hypothetical? Yeah. Yeah, I think you uh definitely bring that up um um and can i add something sure what if one night you guys were eating spaghetti and you went to like wipe he had something on his chin and you went to wipe it and you got very close to him. And it felt like there was something there.

Uh-huh. I have sort of a follow-up question to that. Say you have like a best friend. And you're sort of getting signals from him that you're like down. You're down. You're all about it. You want it. Yes. you are scared of reprisal

from somebody who is in the Matrix. And was like a big not, she was actually not in the Matrix. She knew about why the Matrix was fake. Mm-hmm. And I have.

And she could like. Oh, go ahead. Control it. I have a question. And can almost seem to be able to do that in real life as well. seem to be able to do that in real life as well. Not really, but it's so powerful, could seem to manipulate the fabric of reality. Sure.

At her will, in the sense of a beatdown. And before you answer that, let me ask just a quick follow-up. Okay, sure. And so your friend, you're getting the sense, okay, now you're thinking all right some good news bad news situation um you see that wow he's on the same page you were on but also there's a complication and it has to do with the matrix and as you are witnessing what's happening between him and this person from the matrix who he tries

to step on her foot she make him flip over um you're going i could step in and stop this but i would straight up go to jail because i go so psycho it's so crazy you're thinking this if you're the guy in this situation. Sure, one would think this. I go so crazy when I fight and spin around so much that there's really no defending against it because I'm attacking all sides unless I get dizzy and fall down, which has happened once or twice. And I don't, you know, there's no point in winning that fight and then having to be in jail for the rest of your life. Sure, you're still separated from your beloved. Yeah.

Well, I mean, love is hard, right? Well, also. It takes sacrifice. In this situation, say that the person from the Matrix is maybe training specifically, you think, for this kind of conflict, like a spinning attack. So maybe the person from the Matrix, she suspects something. Yeah, she goes to the park and is sort of kicking the horses on America around. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Kicking their heads off. Uh-huh. And let's say upon learning that, you almost just want to remove yourself from the situation entirely. And like, quit your job? Yeah, like, at this point you're scared. Sure.

Sure. Sure. Because you essentially are a human merry-go-round. And you don't want your head kicked off. So what's the move there? As somebody who, you know, has dated, what would you do? Oh, God, this is not an easy situation at all. There's a lot of moving pieces in it.

Yeah, spinning around. Yeah, spinning around and spinning around and merry-go-round. I guess, you know, I don't know. It seems like you want to believe that love conquers all, and maybe if you fight that person, you'll get off in some way, you know, and you won't go to jail or get killed. Right. But you think you will. Yeah.

And it's possible that the spinning technique is all, has never been put into practice in an actual combat situation. It's just a confidence that comes with it. It definitely seems like it would work. I see. How could it not? It's all theoretical. Well, the spinning punches that you're sure would just be like, how could you defend against that? You've never felt them make contact with anything.

Have you ever even done the- This person? No, the falling down and dizzy part. Is that even, is that theoretical or is that something that has happened? That's happened in practice. That part has happened. Almost every time. This person has walked around the house and stepped on his Roomba a couple times,

which then does a couple of surprising moves. And this person can't fight off his Roomba. Well, it's so low to the ground. So in a Roomba versus this person, the Roomba. And it's so treacherous. I mean, the Roomba's really the original BB-8. Now I'm feeling a little less confident. In the idea of love bots?

In the idea of love conquering all, or this person fighting Trinity from... Yeah, if that were the... Yeah, I feel like... It could also be Mouse. Tank. Yeah, it could be anyone. It could be Cy feel like. It could also be mouse. Tank. Yeah, it could be anyone. It could be Cypher. It could easily be Cypher.

And, oh, God, it could be Cypher. I mean, it couldn't be Morpheus, but it could be Cypher. So, yeah. All right. So your advice would be to. I think just keep things as they are, I think. I think just keep your, one should keep their love inside and not mention it. If one did murder Trinity from The Matrix and was arrested and went to jail for it, for doing a spinning punch,

would the other person involved be almost required to then commit an armed robbery or something like that in order to be put into prison? Can you request what prison you – A jail? And also cellmates? I think you must. Seems only fair. Yes. I mean, they're putting you in jail.

It seems like you should have some rights. You're still American. Yeah, there's – well, then in that case I think that they could I don't know if committing an armed robbery gets you in the same section of the prison as murdering Trinity because probably murdering Trinity

Well it's double jeopardy, you can't murder Trinity again Unless it was a bunch of them like Agent Smith Unless it was like all the Agent Smith oh gosh I sort of thought I am a little surprised

because I like because you're kind of here to promote those who can't that I haven't brought it up well just as like

your advice like probably best thing for the show would be if you were just like oh you should check out those who like if you like when if you were just like, oh, you should check out. If you want to get a girlfriend and stuff. It's like, what songs do you make whoopie to?

Well, the theme song from Those Who Can't really gets me. Really? Feeling very Randy could be a great strategy. Can we rewind? Can we rewind this? Brett, can we rewind? Brett, the male perspective? I can't do that. Those who can't rewind.

What channel? True TV. Wow, what an attractive channel. It is. It is a very attractive channel. It's the hottest. It used to be Court TV. Probably helped dorks get girlfriends.

I thought it was Trut V. Because when you read it, it does look like that. But it doesn't look like that. It looks like Trut V. They cut off the E at the end. The true. Yeah.

Yeah, which made me think that it was all just true calling. You remember the Eliza Dushku show, True Calling? Sure. What was her just true calling. You remember the Eliza Dushku show, True Calling? Sure. What was her true calling? Do you remember?

Well, she was able to, I guess, touch dead people and find out who had murdered them, and then she could go and find. So she went to work in a morgue, and working in the morgue was her true calling, because then she could avenge the deaths of murder victims. Oh, God, that's so great. Is that really this show? Yeah. I can't believe I didn't... Galifianakis worked in the morgue as well.

And her name was True. And her name was True, T-R-U. Spelled like True TV. TV. And it's a TV show, so really only like to call your channel that and to not have that show. There already is a True TV. Ask me another question and I'm going to try to put True TV in there. Oh great, let's get one of these questions.

I'm going to really try to True TV Oh great. Let's get one of these questions. I'm going to really try to promote my show. Smart. Yeah. Just enter my password again. Try those who can't. Tom DeLonge. Who's Tom DeLonge? My password. Okay.

This one's from Chicken Sandwich who I think is a little boy. So be safe with this one, with just how you answer. Guest. I recently saw Emma Thompson, Nanny McPhee, standing in line for a milkshake at a local ice cream parlor. I asked for her number, but she just took a slurp of her big shake and rolled her eyes at me. How do I deal with this rejection? Hmm.

What's this little boy's name? Chicken. Chicken sandwich. Chicken sandwich. That's a very hard situation, but there's a lot of fish in the sea. And one way that you could deal with it is. Fish in the sea and one way that you could do with it is fish in the fee

like Nanny McPhee I don't get it you don't have to take it if you want one thing that makes me feel better is you know watching those who can't on true TV on Thursdays at 1030 Eastern Standard Time.

Oh, holy fucking shit. So that's how you deal with rejection. Jesus Christ, chicken sandwich. Get your ass in gear and turn on the fucking show then. Yeah. Is that better? Do you guys think that? I think it's great.

Was that good? That is good. I mean, I would say to promise even more than just being able to deal with the rejection. You're going to get that lady's phone number. Nanny McPhee is going to give you her number. Sure. Which probably starts with a plus sign, for example. You know what I mean?

You know how some of those numbers start with a plus sign? They're insane. It's out of control. And the government is worried with a lot of stuff, but let's just deal with this. It seems so solvable to me. And I almost thought you were going to say

Nanny McPhee would give up some like, and I thought you'd say like Nanny McPhee or something like that. And I thought you were going to say that which would have been inappropriate because chicken sandwich is a little boy or some i guess poo nanny mcphee okay yeah well in my nanny mcphee the p stands for prunin so like but this is all for you like Like, you should be saying this. You should say that. I should be talking about pee.

Yeah, right. And that's, you say, if you watch. And I think abbreviating it is probably because this is like a little boy. Yeah, if you watch those who can't. If you watch those who can't, then you will. You know who loves those who can't? Nanny McPee. Yeah.

Well. Yeah. Well. That's not exactly right because she's Nanny McPee what she's like giving up

for this kid is the Nanny McPee. It's, that doesn't, yeah. If you're not comfortable with it, you're not comfortable with it.

But I'm just telling you, if you want people to tune in. Do we have any other questions? A bunch. And I wonder if any of these are good. Are good. I bet some of them are. I like this one.

Okay. From Andrew. Guest. Yes. I know this HB8, but I just cannot F close no matter how much kino I establish.

Do you have any suggestions? P.S. Yes, I have already tried negging. I understood just only a few words in that. It's P-U-A speak.

Marie, you have to know about this stuff. I don't know about it. Because I promise you, it's being exercised on you every day of your life. And you have to know when these things are coming at you. People are executing these techniques. Are you PUA-ing me? You want to see a magic trick? Okay, Brett, now the male perspective is here

and he is going to really demonstrate value right now. And do not be seduced. Okay. And see, he flipped his hat upside down. He flipped his hat. And he managed to sort of get it on his head.

He clumsily got it onto the headphones. Over his headphones. Uh-huh. So do you feel what's happening to you right now? Just take my hands. Just take my hands. Okay. We'll play the patty cake game.

Oh, wow. And he's evangelizing her. Yeah, and she's loving it. I do. I like it. So, okay, wow. And he's evangelizing her. Yeah. And she's loving it. I do. I like it. So, okay, Maria. What he's doing is he's demonstrating value. Put on some Aerosmith.

We're going to. Maria, do not let him put Aerosmith on right now. You have a responsibility to promote this show. You can't let them get to Aerosmith that easily and what we're finding out is you really should have learned. By playing patty cake, he was able to establish Kino.

What is Kino? That's a safe touching. Oh yeah, it's a casino game. Yeah, exactly. Something you play in a weird restaurant. You do play in like a weird restaurant. You do it like in, yeah, in Montana, in like every bar.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. But that's not what he's playing. That's not what's happening. Mm-hmm, kinesthesia. I see. Okay, and then that leads to, okay, yes. In Aerosmith. Right, and I'm kind of looking at you from a side angle. Sure, uh-huh. You notice that? Uh-huh. I got to get out of here in a couple minutes, okay. In Aerosmith. Right. And I'm kind of looking at you from a side angle.

Sure, uh-huh. You notice that? Uh-huh. I got to get out of here in a couple minutes, but. You do? And now you're, yes. Where are you going? Oh, God.

Maria, this is working so well on you. Uh-oh. See, and now he's going to start honking on Bobo pretty soon. Wait. It's over. Oh, no. Oh, God. I don't want to watch this. Brett.

No, Brett. Oh, God. Maria, so disappointing. Well, please do watch those who can't. I can't believe I have to do this. What just happened? They formed like a perfect sphere. And it was beautiful, but...

It was like a pill bug pill bug so that was just to show how effective it is yeah in front of a dog what's the dog's name? Roman

we should get Roman on here a little bit. Yeah, sure. That can maybe be the pro version prize. Okay, so the pro version prize, and this is for, hold on, I got to remember, Montgomery. Is that somebody? Yeah, that's somebody who the forum's ganged up on this week for posting something mean about me. Oh, okay, good. And it's okay, guys.

And I appreciate it. But it's okay. That's the attention that he wanted. So just forget it. And Montgomery, you get the pro version of this dog slobber on you. It's probably good for me. It is nice about you and mean about me. Oh, great. Oh, that's awesome.

That rules. And that's okay, Montgomery. Anyway, listen to the dog and that sort of drooling, slurpy sound he makes. That's you. Roman. Roman. You hear him? That's nice.

It was fine. So like us on Facebook. If you want to ask us a question or anything or communicate with us, you could do it on Facebook. There's a Hollywood Handbook page. And I love seeing our page get attention. It's great. Do you have a page?

I do have a page, yeah. Oh, that's so good, Maria. We should combine our pages. Yes. Isn't that a good idea? Well, make two pages into one. Yeah. You instantly double the page's value. Our pages should get married. Our pages

should get married. For Valentine's Day. Oh my god, Maria, our pages, our Facebook pages should get married for Valentine's Day. Are they engaged now, I guess, just because we said this? Because we said they should get married? Can you do it on your phone? I'm trying. In this case,

who asks? Who does the asking? Which Facebook page? Yeah. Or are we old fashioned? Like, you have to ask me or is it,

you know, Hillary 2016. Do we have to ask your Facebook page's dad? Which is, I guess, like your MySpace page or something? Is that funny?

Is that funny? It is funny. I liked it. Because it's like old. MySpace is like an old dad. Sean's jealous. What's happening right now? Something sad.

What's happening? Sorry. You looked at your phone and then you went away. I had something sad that happened just before the record. What? When I was in New York, I was feeding some cats by the pier, and I just got an email that one of them died. Bye.

Bye. Hollywood Handbook is brought to you by Wolf Cool Productions, a subsidiary of Calvin and Hobbes. Ow, baby. That was a HeadGum Podcast.