Hollywood Handbook - Martha Kelly, Our... ?

Episode Date: April 21, 2026

The Boys spend the entire episode trying to figure out who the guest in the studio is (MARTHA KELLY), and how exactly they know her (she's been on the show several times). Be sure to watch Martha on Euphoria and Common Side Effects!   Get a Hat Pack Hat here! Check out Sean and Hayes’s bonus shows at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Listen on the iHeartRadio App!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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I ask myself, yes. You ask yourself this same question, I'm sure, whenever we see this old familiar face. And it's always the same question I have. Who's this? And I go, How do I know you again? Who is this again?

And I have a feeling and it's a familiarity, but there's a newness as well. And I go, who are you and how are you going to disappoint me today? And I'm always surprised. I know that instinctively. It's not just one thing ever, is it? Don't just say who you are and what your plan is

to disappoint Sean and me for that matter today. let's do clues. They love to guess. Oh my gosh. They love to guess about it. Our listeners are crazy for the games. They are loving having guesses. And they're actually really sharp.

We've cultivated this audience that is so cerebral and so intelligent. And when we engage them in this way in the sort of theater of curiosity, they really do sort of come alive and enjoy the episode more. So let's have some hints and we can do some guesses. And not Easter eggs. You did say Easter eggs and I just want to disabuse you of that. Easter eggs are offered. Let's get that out of our minds.

We don't want to talk about Easter eggs. They are discovered over the course of the main offering. By the way, I see these things. They make it harder to talk, right? Oh. Why is it on the table? Oh my God. Don't break your phone.

Get that out of here. For you, I would. Oh, thanks. For you, I would to make sure that you know I'm paying attention. Provided that you are the person that I'm starting to think you are. It feels like, yes. But let's hear the clues, not Easter eggs. Clue me in.

Easter eggs are dropping little hints over the, were we to start the episode and you were to drop a hint about who you were as we were having a normal conversation? that's an Easter egg. We're not doing that. We're not doing that. We're just doing clues as specified. All right, I got a clue. I have my number one clue. Do you understand what an Easter egg is now, too?

I do. I mean, I don't. I have no idea the difference between. Oh, they left these little. I don't know the difference between a clue and Easter. But it doesn't allow a person on the original sort of path through it, I think, to get, maybe they could pick up on it if they already knew the answer. Oh, if they rewatch it.

Okay. Yes, I think it's for people who are already kind of in on the concept and they're noticing these little Trinkets left for them. I'm not doing any Easter eggs. Or they could go back and say, oh, that's who she was. She was telling us who she was. Yes, we should have known because they had this Easter. But then the rest of the thing they're like, what the fuck?

And that would be for such a small sliver of the audience. Yeah, okay. Well, I have a clue. One first clue. I see you looking at these. Yeah. Get them out of here. I don't want you thinking that I am thinking about putting my glasses on, off, putting them in my mouth.

I don't want anything to do with that. Okay, I don't have any to get rid of. A watch is gone. Okay, I don't have anything. Hey, this guy's trying to figure out what time it is. Okay. Earthly delights. Can you, maybe if you hand me my purse, I'll throw something.

Bloodstone bracelet from the gem lady on Larchmont. I'll take it. I'll take something out. I don't care who picked it out for me. I don't care who's a good for my child. And I would like to just showcase. I got this off TikTok. It's not a brand deal.

And if I can read it for the audience, it says Ernest Big Negyei, who is, I guess, a brilliant designer. Yeah, famous. Did you get to meet Ernest Biggnegier is the course of, oh. No. Oh, I know what I can. And it's gorgeous. It looks like it is. I'm doing my sunglasses.

I don't want to do my phone because I'll break it. Real bird skin. Real bird skin bag. I see it says. No, it isn't. Genuine bird skin. No, it's some kind of fake. You know what?

And I'm going to just... Forget it. Oh, great. The lens came out. And now she's looking, are they going to take these off? No, Martha. Some things are sacred here.

I pointed in my wedding ring. So... Like our shirt or something. It's like, no. So the Ernest Big Nade Gay bag is a clue because this means this person is making serious bang. That bad cost me $125 and I am not ashamed to flaunt my wealth. Okay.

And are we? Probably got busyboned on the terrace as well. Oh, yeah. What does busy boned mean? Uh, fucked. Absolutely. Frizzocked. Getting fucking Drisville.

Oh. Yeah. Back to front and all the way around. And that's what they do on the terrace right now. But you are making that money. You said it's $125. And how many Klarna payments deep are you? I don't know.

I don't keep track of it on automatic payment. Doesn't even track or Klarna. Well, I... Must be nice. Love being nice. I also have a matching wallet and a matching little clear case that's supposed to be a makeup case, but I put Tylenol and Advil and Band-Aids in it. So it's like a little first aid kit.

Can have similar de-inflammatory effect. Back says makeup. Yeah. It is makeup. Yeah. Yeah. It's the best makeup. The best makeup is preventative makeup, such as Tylenol.

It's what I've heard. I'm trying to become, I'm trying to be. Break up to makeup. Break up your bones and make it up with the Tylenol, you know? Exactly. And the band-aids and everything. I'm trying to become a makeup influencer on TikTok. If you guys have any help or advice you could give me.

Carcely. Your name is Carcely. So it's Carcely. Carcely? Who said Carcely? We are picking up on some of the clues you've given. We're a little Easter, I guess. And we're guessing now who the guest is today. Sorry, I was trying to, like, this is what O's does. Whose O's?

O's picks up on facial clues. But who's O's the mentalist? O's the mentalist. Never heard of us. mentalism expert? Never heard of him. Never heard of him. His publicist going to hate hearing that.

Well. Casey, go ahead and cut that out of the episode. I don't want to be on. It was his public as a bad side. I'm just not in the loop of mentalists and magic and stuff. He can divine the thoughts that in your mind. Okay. But it makes me wonder if you got a plate glass window right here.

Yeah. Talking to O's and he was just looking in and identifying different things going on. I'm scared to be around. What if he figures out something freaky? I don't even know about myself. Yeah. It might be the Advil or something because your face is giving Carcely. Carstly.

Okay, wow. Carstly. Okay. Something about when you were saying yes, that you wanted to. Parsley, okay. You said if you have any help to give me with becoming makeup and further eyes. Carcely, okay. Carcely needs help.

Maybe should that be my business name for my influencer operation? I don't know. Carcely. Okay. I don't want that. Carsly. Carcely. Carcely.

Okay. What was the clue? Did you watch the January 2025 Super Bowl halftime show? That's my first clue. Okay. So. The clue is a question. So this is actually maybe part of why I don't remember who you are.

we had been assigned to produce the Super Bowl halftime show. Super Bowl halftime show. We were hired by one of the most powerful people in the entertainment industry, Justin David and Pax, and given the unique assignment to find a performer for the Super Bowl halftime show and at long last to do away with the music, which has been the scourge of that show for so long. Nobody likes it. No one likes it.

And I do recall that there were a few different options that we went over. And that we did produce one and also pretend to produce some others. Yes. And kind of stage a Super Bowl-like environment so we could put the performers cannon fodder for the network. Right. Old showbiz saw. We'll see if it worked. Why let's see if it works?

I would be thrilled to be wrong about some of them, but you do have to give them something to shoot down so they feel like they're choosing. Okay. There was definitely someone who we knew we wanted. There were some people who we were pretty certain the network were saying no to. And we just produced it all. And then we let them pick. And if they want them all, if we do four.

Eighth time shows. Eighth time. Okay. Got it. Or eighth time shows. Right. Got it. Don't check. Don't be like, oh, is it like, are you sure? It's like, I was just trying to follow. What are you doing? I was checking your math and I apologize. I, no, I just was, I was automatic, I'm automatically a know it all.

Four times two, people. And this is where we're going to get haze. I'm sorry. Maybe it'll happen one day. Not a fertile hunting ground for you four times two. Not exactly where we're going to bust his ass. I'm so sorry, Corsley, but that is not what's going down. Now, Corsley has a little bit more elegant of a ring to it than Carsley.

Should I go with Corsley? Corsley, to me, doesn't have as many potential integrations as Carsely. Carcely can easily be applied to cars, one of the fastest growing markets. Right. Parsley. That was the next thing I was going to say. Okay, I'm sorry. I can't get on the right side of Hayes today.

Yeah. I can't get on the right side of Hayes today. Oh, wait. Hang on. Are you going to make up your face? Carcely's page, get ready. It's time, right? Carcely's page.

That's what you could call. You're welcome on an Instagram account. Get ready, it's time. Yeah, it's time. Time to get ready with me. Carthley's page, rosemary, and it's time. Yeah. Okay.

So that's, that's my, you got to talk to Paul. Oh, Paul Simon. We'd need to talk to Paul. We're going to use the song. Yeah, because he wrote, he, yeah, he wrote it. By the way, no, never mind.

You know, we can ask Lorne. Lauren Michaels. Lauren knows Paul. He hosted an episode before. Of Hollywood Handbook. It's about Carseley's Page. Paul. Carseley's being difficult.

Paul Carstle's page is tiring me. I've grown weak looking at Carstley's Page. Looking at it. I need to rest. Well, so far I like what we're doing. I like what we've come up with. I'm feeling really good over here as well. I mean, I'm talking about from my page.

I'm not talking about the podcast. That parsley was something that Carcely could be involved with, which I had already come up with. And I said I was about to say it. And then you said it first. It is interesting that you say you like what we're doing when what you're doing is watching us do it. Right. Does that make sense? Well, that's how I like to work, is I like to draw out other people's ideas and then benefit from their talent and appreciate it.

Well, the clue was a huge fucking bust because we didn't end up doing whichever halftime show that was. Okay, let me think of another clue. Take your time, by the way. I gave up cocaine recently and my brain is just not moving as quickly and I'm so sorry. I should have told you that before we started. Okay, that's almost interesting. It's going to take me just a minute to think of another clue. And I would have...

Cool story, bro. Okay, let me think of another clue. Okay. the last time I was here you broke my spirit so completely that I said I don't want to be in show business anymore does that ring a bell

okay okay could be literally hundreds of guests that's sort of what the show is but I did say out loud at the right when Hayes was saying by I said I don't want to be in show business anymore does that ring a bell So you were in show business at one point.

At one point. And you at least believed you had a choice. Yes. Over when your participation would end. I did used to think I had a choice in that. Yeah. A year, I mean, at that point back the last year. But you ended up picking it back up, it sounds like.

Do you anticipate doing the same with cocaine? It depends on who you talk to. I just also have to say because I publicly say that I'm sober. I was kidding. I haven't been doing cocaine. I've been sober over 22 years. And I make no apology for it. No, I mean, clearly not.

Well, it feels like I've ground everything to a halt. I feel like this is. Sorry, no. I just feel like this is actually working in the opposite direction of what you want. Yeah. If the goal is to inspire people. With a, become an influencer. With a sobriety journey.

Oh, okay. I think, I do think from the little I know about that world, there's this concept of attraction rather than promotion where you don't necessarily advertise it, but people say, oh, wow, this person's got that. I'd love to have, you know, that sort of energy or dynamism. And what we are finding is this would be, it's not promotion, which is good, that's right. But it's also not attraction and it is perhaps revulsion? I mean, the attractions, it doesn't, I think it's propulsion.

I think it's propulsion. I think it's pollution. I'm propelling people away from me. And in whatever direction is away from me, there's a chance they'll end up at a recovery place. Of all the places you could go, that is not me. I could certainly imagine someone hitting rock bottom a few minutes into listening to this episode. Someone who has been teetering on the brink for years going,

this is actually it for me. This is a sign. So it is helping I said you cannot hold I can picture that And so bravo Very savvy move And daring

Well It's the new me That's probably why you don't remember me Is because I've completely changed I have transformed in some way I have changed since the last time I was here It's the new me Okay you said that you had stopped doing cocaine

but then you said that that was The truth is I never started. The entire premise was false. Yeah, but it's pronounced premise. You said... Guess that's a liar. That you had left show business or wanted to and then you said that you didn't.

Yeah, yes. So how do you anticipate disappointing me with this particular episode? Advertised change. Yeah. That will, yes, you're saying that you have changed since last time you're revealed to be yet another false premise. The only thing that has been consistent is the inconsistency.

And so each statement has been almost immediately repealed. And now that you've told me you've changed, I know that you are in fact the same. But worse. You can't be the same because it's worse. That is a change. Yeah. I hope so. If it's not worse, that means that we have another existing episode, which is at least this bad. I mean, we did do an episode on Zoom during the pandemic that I felt that I was such a dud that I emailed at least Kevin and possibly might have communicated with one of you saying, I'm sorry I was so terrible in that episode.

So there is a thing to choose from in terms of finding the worst episode I've done. You've got some choices. There's a variety. There's a variety. Someone who thinks they have my number or email. I do have your number, Sean. Unless you change it, I do have your number. I can call you.

It has a very powerful conviction. There's some magical thinking going on with this guest, whoever she is. And these clues are getting me closer and closer to the ultimate prize. Your name. The newest tracks. Let's go. New music. And the next big thing.

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Always fresh, always first. Stream now on the free IHart Radio app. A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what you're saying. Yep, that's me, Clifford Taylor the 4th. You might have seen the skits, the reactions, my journey from basketball to college football,

or my career in sports media. Well, somewhere along the way, this platform became bigger than I ever imagined. And now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show. This is a place for raw, unfiltered conversations with some of your favorite athletes, creators, and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated. One week, I'll take you behind the scenes of the biggest moments in sports and entertainment, and the next we'll talk about life, mental health, purpose, and even music. The Clivert Show isn't just a podcast.

It's a space for honest conversations, stories that don't always get told, and for people who are chasing something bigger. So, if you've ever supported me or you're just chasing down a dream, this is right where you need. to be. Listen to the Clifford show on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford and at TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok. There's two golden rules that any man should live by. Rule one, never mess with a country girl. You play stupid games, you get stupid prizes. And rule two, never mess with her friends either. We always say that trust your girlfriends. I'm Anna Sinfield

and in this new season of the Girlfriends Oh my God, this is the same man A group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist I felt like I got hit by a truck I thought how could this happen to me? The cops didn't seem to care so they take matters into their own hands

I said oh hell no I vowed I will be his last target He's gonna get what he deserves Listen to the Girlfriends Trust me babe On the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. What's up, everyone? I'm Ago Vodam.

My next guest, you know from Step Brothers Anchorman, Saturday Night Live and the Big Money Players Network. It's Will Ferrell. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. My dad gave me the best advice ever. I went and had lunch with them one day, and I was like, and Dad, I think I want to really give this a shot. I don't know what that means, but. I just know the groundlings. I'm working my way up through, and I know it's a place that come look for up and coming talent.

He said, if it was based solely on talent, I wouldn't worry about you, which is really sweet. Yeah. He goes, but there's so much luck involved. And he's like, just give it a shot. He goes, but if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit. If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration. It would not be on a calendar of, you know. the cat just hang in there yeah it would not be right it wouldn't be that there's a lot of luck

listen to thanks dad on the iHeart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast can we hear your CV? Can we get a look at the CV? Do you want to hear my showbiz CV? I'd start with education I think that's kind of traditional okay yeah um graduate from high school close to the bottom of my class. Almost didn't graduate. Had to make up a PE class.

Let's talk about who you're looking down at in your class. And you've continued making things up ever since. He wasn't the only thing. I don't know the other kids that were close to the bottom because it was a large high school. But you said close to the bottom instead of the bottom. Did you have someone in mind? Oh, big high school. Yeah.

Oh, that's a clue. Who would brag about that? And you know what? I think it's actually worse. I think she's saying that, like, that's her trauma. That she went to a big high school. I was so big. I was always getting lost.

I. Oh, my big giant high school. That's why I'm like this. It's not my fault. Take accountability. Take accountability. Starting now. For the first time in your life, you will feel better.

I don't I just know that when I was young I almost didn't graduate and then I looked up the rankings and I was very close to the bottom it was like 400 and some odd people and I was near the bottom I don't remember what's that that's not even that big but that was my graduating class there were three other grades that were equally that big don't come at me about my gigantic high school I forgot that your big high school. I forgot how core, that's your core wound. It is a very big trauma. I don't know all the kids I even went to school with.

If I saw them on the street, I'd say, I don't know you. Did you, she's obsessed with high school. Well, it was my glory days. I was in drama in high school. Okay. I did the lights for one of the plays junior year, so. Which play? Cut to two months later.

I don't remember. I didn't do the lights. Yeah. I remember the thing. Well, and actually, Sean, I guess. I guess I've gotten. You know what? I hate to give you any credit because you are bullying me, but you are in fact correct.

I did the lights, but I also didn't do the lights because there was no real way to do the lights. It was just turn the switch up and down. There was no way to get up into the rafters and adjust the lights. It was just you're on your own and good luck. and people got angry with me. There was no way that you found to get into the rafters. I didn't look because I know one. Thank you.

I was a child. You didn't look. You didn't look. There was no way. And then we investigate just a little bit. I did it. Just under the very surface. There was no way.

Did you look? I didn't look. Shouldn't the teacher have said, hey, you're doing lights. This is what you're going to need to. This is where the ladder is. This is how you get up there. It's how you adjust them. You think high school teachers are overpaid?

And I thought your school didn't have any teachers. I thought that was your whole thing that it was just like so many students and no teachers. There were even classrooms. There weren't even classrooms. It was just roughly 2,000 teenagers on a campus and just walking around the halls and on the – and the quad, we called it, the center grass area, just walking around all day, dropped off. in the morning, leave at 315, and that was, it was not good. I didn't learn anything.

We just had a line segment. I can't. It sounds like they had grass at hers. We did have grass. What a dream. It's unbelievable. Where would I be today if I had been able to see grass? Well, we had more than one kind of grass.

Did you do? Yeah, I think I do. Did you do a chorus line? Did you do a chorus line? No, we did. When you're up in the booth? You know what I mean? Oh.

Yeah. No. The rich popular kids were doing cocaine, but the drama geeks, which I was part of, we were smoking marijuana and drinking. Could you take a COVID test, please? Casey, you bring in a PCR test, please. I'm sorry. Wrap it as you got. I get choked up thinking about.

my traumatic giant high school of kids of a overpopulated. Oh, no. I mean, every accusation is an admission, a confession with Sean is what I've learned. Somebody's here. Oh, my God. Are they really going to have me take a COVID test? Thank you. Thanks.

However far you think you're supposed to go in, go further. How about that? She's not on the table thinking about that. I don't want to distract from the clues. I'm trying to help you guess who I am. I'm sorry I threw out. It's probably expensive. You graduated from high school.

1986. What? Now we know you're a sheep. Yes. That you do exactly as you're told. I'm getting really angry, Sean. Teacher, teacher. Yes.

You can't have your. pudding if you don't eat your meat. What are the rules? I'm getting really angry at you, Sean. Like last time I was here, I hit you, and I might hit you again. Because that's what he wants you to do, and you do exactly as you are told. Teacher, teacher, teacher. Is this the shape of the mold you want me to fit it to?

This is an entrapment. You're trying to get me arrested for assault because you're in fury. I'm becoming enraged. It could be big for the show. Carsely, arrested. During. On the set of Hollywood Handbook, they call it a set. I like your set.

I like your set. Although the one you had, the last time I was. It kind of is a set now, isn't it? Yeah. We're doing really well. It is. But the one that I was at last time, we were sitting in, like,

couches and chairs and stuff, which is how I was able to reach over and hit you. I remember. No, that time You weren't able to I'm kind of remembering this now Not you But one of the

Premises that we established So this is starting to feel a little familiar My arms getting tired From carrying this entire episode With my friend Speaking of arms Where you were going to hit someone You threatening to hit someone

you threatening to hit somebody and then you're we initiate a bit that your arms were too small T-Rex arms and then we got in trouble for doing ableism on you

yes yeah and yeah you interrupt to say speaking of arms you wanted to talk about I was gonna say the T-Rex arms I'm curious Hayes where were you

literally what I was about to say she was going to say oh you were cutting him off to say what he was already saying Understood. Hayes, where were you born? What country? I'm sensing England or Canada.

I was born at sea. Well, why are you pronouncing it, Primus? He's a citizen of Earth. Okay, well, what accent are you... Status human being. Getting over. It's not Primus. I'm angry.

Now I'm angry at both of you. You've been angry since you came in and it's got nothing to do with us. Look inward. We walked in here, swinging the big old bag around, ranting and raving about the bathroom's not big enough. Well, it isn't big enough. What if I wanted to work out before I come in here and get my blood, get my adrenaline going so I could have some ideas and clues.

This is like a big ice cold thing. Get my blood. stopped and said adrenaline because she knew she was about to confess something about blood. And after high school, the automaton's conveyor belt that you were on led you wear. What was the next step on the cookie cutter factory then delivered on the assembly line? So then I went to junior college for two years, got the best grade. I've gotten. The fucking widget machine.

And then I went. Another one out of the factory. And then I transferred to UC Davis and was an English major and flunked out twice. Kept going back. I've been back since. I went back in 2013. Still haven't graduated. Norm court.

I'm not going to do entertainment industry anymore. Yeah. And then I go back. I'm not going to do UC Davis anymore. I'm flunking out of UC Davis. I'm probably going to go straight from here to UC Davis again. I might go to summer school. If I'm being honest, I don't have an acting job right now.

And honestly, the two of you are driving me out of the Los Angeles area. Your energy, when I'm not here, I can still feel it. The hostility, the aggression, the entrapment, the instigation, the character assassination. And you're driving me out of Los Angeles. I kind of feel like an assassination has to be of like a prominent person. You know what I mean? Yeah. You wouldn't be like,

Yeah, you wouldn't be like... I assassinated some, you know, like, lady. Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah. You'd be like... I guess... Can I just say something?

It's like, well, you know, for better or worse, no, they weren't. Can I just say something? Because it's just, I'm just now realizing what's happening, what's been happening. You guys are mad that your old. pal has skyrocketed to fame and fortune and you were trying to tear me down you think that i was why would we tear you down because io has you thought become famous become famous yeah why would that have anything to do with you how's that going to help us get her back on the show so this is now i'm finding out this has happened to you with more people than just me it's happened to you with io as well

So I You thought I would come in here Swinging Dick Johnny Hot Shit Hollywood Gone All Hollywood And instead I came in Like the sincere friend

That you've known since your childhoods Who has supported your podcast It's before it started And I came in here The way I always am And you couldn't Fucking stand it Bad enough that she's

Ana Stern Hollywood and that she's a millionaire. Bad enough. She comes in and she's not even a hateful bitch. Well, we're not going to stand for that. We're going to provoke her. We're going to entrap her. We're going to try to get her to hit Sean again and get her arrested. And at any point, you want to take a breath so that one of us can get a word in.

I don't want to hear it. I've heard enough. You're jealous. The word is sorriness. I am having sorryness to you right now. Okay. Thank you. I am apologizing. I have not seen you in a while.

Okay. I've been distracted. You think you have stuff going on. I don't have anything going on. That's also why you're angry. I don't have anything going on. I scroll TikTok all day on the couch with my dog and my two cats. I have nothing going on and you fucking hate it.

again, I am trying to say, I am so grateful for everything you have done for the show, Scott. And the fact that, Arrogato, Arrogato goesimas. It's not, I'm not Scott. You guessed wrong again. Now, because you've changed so much. Is this what you meant? Not even Scott anymore.

even Scott anymore. Did you think I was Scott Bayo? Is that the Scott you thought I was? No, I thought you were a different Trump supporter, Scott Ockerman. Oh, Scott Ackerman. Okay, I'm sorry. Who has been very supportive of our show from the beginning, from when we were children. Yes.

Yes. Yeah, okay. But who we have not seen since we were doing a show on a fucking couch. And now we're here. Right. And it has, I think, taken us out of ourselves a little bit, made us forget who we are. It's true. It's true. And we're in this beautiful set, this gorgeous studio with these wonderful microphones. I love these microphones. We've got this incredible, you know, label behind us, the big money players. And, you know, it really has, I mean, I get the Ben's a little bit and I find myself kind of gasping for air and hoping that my, you know, brain doesn't explode or

whatever because I, I do get a little disoriented and it's to the point where I can't even recognize. Remember when she threw the PCR test across the road? So she knows. She's taken one already. But I get it so that I can't even recognize my own friends. Scott Ackerman. And that's where I was getting So hot in the polls, by the way. Yeah. And by the way, I don't take a position, but you think we're going to pull out of this skid or what?

With what Scott Ockerman's running for for office? Is that what you mean? I don't think Scott's running. Oh. Who are we talking about? I thought we were talking about Scott Ockerman. Wow, you have changed. Don't you feel like I have been a better friend to you than Scott Ockerman?

And now I understand where I was getting. I've known you longer. I forgot that you, Scott, used to refer to yourself as car slut because you love classic cars. I love them. I love them.

Give me a Corvette. When you get into those bucket seats. Yeah. I can't get out. Basically. Because my legs and my arms are too short. Parking lot shots. I can't get them out.

I can't get out. One foot out each window. I mean, I wish that could happen. My legs won't reach the window, not from any point in the car. Again, that's not me. For everyone who's about to ride my ass for ableism, that was not me. This was stated directly by the guest.

We have made no value judgment on whether it is good or bad to not be able to get your legs out the window. I will say, this is the same person who told me that there was no way to get into the rafters. And then question one, we found out that they never even tried. I can't say what could happen or couldn't with the legs on the window. Well, I will admit because I appreciate you apologizing Hayes, and I don't know why Sean hasn't yet, but I will go ahead and be the bigger person.

I'm cooking up something. And say that I also am sorry. I don't want to rush into this apology. This is going to be one for the record books. Well, I'm, and I don't want to outdo you because I know you're sensitive about how much more wildly successful I am than you. And I don't know if I told you guys, but I have been

to the Chateau Marmot and I don't know if you are, if that makes you feel bad, I'm so sorry, but I, what I want to say is that throughout the decades You said Marmont. Marmont. I was recently invited

to Chateau Marmot. Okay. Which is considered like kind of a stepping stone. It's at the zoo. Okay. But it It is, that's the path a lot of times to getting to. I don't know if it was your path, but like for a lot of people, like, it's kind of, that's before you get the call to go.

Maybe you skip that step, but yes. And I've been a member at Chateau Marmot for a little while and may have pulled some strings to get the invite extended to my friend. And I think that I may be graduating on to and pronounce it for me again. The Chateau Marmot. Yes, exactly. Well. Pretty soon.

Watch out for the security guard that has a crew cut because he did yell at me to get in the car and get out of there when I was leaving. And so you were already leaving. Yeah. But not fast enough for his satisfaction. He was trying to lock it down because he thought there's going to be famous people here any minute. I got to get this lady out of here. And what I'm saying is like you guys, he was intimidated by my success. He knew full well who I was.

Everybody does. I have it. Okay. I have it. Okay. How did we not see it? I told you he was cooking up something big. Do I know this guy?

I owe you. We both do. We've known him for decades. A sincere apology. I'm sorry. I can't wait. I didn't realize what you were doing. Hayes

Someone famous Someone successful Okay Someone who could do a Super Bowl Halftime show Wildly successful Okay Yeah

Someone we've known forever Yeah And what has she done For minute one of coming in With the flip-flopping And the untruth She lies I lies

I lies a shell slinger Welcome back to the show And she is slinging shells. Right? Like Mario Kart. I... As angry as I was at you earlier, I have totally...

I can't stay mad at you because I feel so guilty that I have to tell you wrong again. I'm not a leisure listener. You're in cars with people, you're real people, you're going, you're like this car? Oh, you're driving.

driving like this? You're doing these ads? Yeah. I mean, I don't have to do ads anymore because Hollywood pays me millions upon millions just to show up at the Chateau Marmont and get kicked out quickly. What did the man say? He said, you have to go now. And he yelled that part, go now. And I said, well, okay. And then a lady who was also a security guard walked towards me. They can be security guards. A security lady came towards me. It seems odd to. you, I actually think it's fine.

I mean, it's not a traditional, the kind of traditional roles that women should have, like movie star, right? It's not like, um, it's not traditional. But like, I'm not here to judge people. That's probably not true. And she had a crew cut as well. She didn't. She had her hair in a low ponytail.

She was nice about it, but her body, her movements ushering me to the car. How low was a bony. It was like here. So not the most. flattering. Oh, that's low. Not that not that she looked bad, but just... We're thinking to the same thing. Yes. Oh, yeah. Yes. We're thinking of the exact same thing. That was low. Go ahead. Anyway, she let me know that the guy wasn't kidding by ushering me to the open car door and I said, I'm got it leaving. I hate when people feel so bad about

being near me because of how famous I am that they're that they're forced to yell at me because they feel so bad about the difference between the very tip top of Hollywood and where they are and they say you have to get out of here right now. Usher Raymond the fourth. And it's welcome back sir. Can I? And can I say that in some ways you're getting far? Are there away somehow?

Here's my confessions. I got it bad. If you lived on TikTok the way I do, you would know that Usher is problematic right now because he's touring with Chris Brown. Why'd you do that? What made you do that? The money. Don't do that. I love the money that people are willing to.

pay usher but I also have to say now that I no usher stop the truth is now that I've said that I'm not sure if it is Chris Brown or someone else problematic that usher is touring with but people were mad at him on TikTok that's all I know is what's happening on TikTok I've got and the super who ended up doing that Super Bowl halftime show TikTok no oh never Never mind. Sorry. You have to go now.

But I am now wishing I didn't throw my phone away because I think the answer of who the guest is is on there. I have another clue, a helpful clue. Okay. I'm going to say now pay attention to how I say it, not just what I say. Yes. Mrs. Doubtfire. Uh-huh. Does that do anything?

Mrs. Doubtfire. Hello. Does that remind you of anything? Say, who the fuck are you? Do you want me to just tell you who I am? Well, we're almost out of time. People are going to want to be able to search the episode. Wait, it's only 43 minutes.

I thought I got a full hour. Oh, really? I haven't seen my close childhood friends Hayes and Sean for over a year. I thought they got a full hour. I thought I'd get a full hour. What is this shit? You're so bitter and jealous of my wild success that you're cutting my time short. You give everybody an hour.

Make your pitch. What do you have for the next 16 and a half minutes? What's like what's the rest of your? You've certainly been saving it up whatever it is. So I believe you've got something in the tank. I am rung out. I don't have anything in the time. I let you down again.

I disappointed you again, and I'm sorry. Can either of you get me a job? Don't you both have jobs? Can you get me a job? In a gray area. Because here's what, here's a thing. But that's the thing, we have them. So what?

So let me just explain me. My job is not give it to you. Give her to her. Let me explain to you. What is job have her or? Let me tell you what's in it for you. Okay. There's a thing, and I know that you don't know this because it hasn't happened to you,

but when you hit the top heights of show business, it's like when the elevator and Willy Wonka goes through the ceiling. You go out of the system. You get so high that you're not out of the system. You can't, you're no longer working because you got so high. And the execs are shot. think like she doesn't want to get a call

I can't ask her you know like we can't get her we probably can't get her yeah we can't get her yeah we can't get her yeah just Scarlett and Colin who it's all Scarlett and Colin

Scarlett and Cullen Collin and Scarlett Scarlett Johansson and Colin who exactly how to get her right because it's Scarlet and Colin so it's like nobody else was going to ask

but Colin who could ask Oh Colin not Colin I thought you said Colin Colin I thought you said An ambulance if I have to stay here for another 15 minutes Colin

I thought you said Cullen And of course I immediately thought Of the Cullins from Twilight And that's where I was confused Because Scarlet Johansom wasn't in Twilight Cullen is also you know, culling is sometimes removing

an element that's not working. Please do tune in next week when we will be right back here at Hollywood Handbook. We're going to have a terrific episode for you. We're going to have somebody so great and I'll tell you, common side effects of having our next guest include

euphoria being induced. So we're going to have a lot of fun. We may fall in love. It'll be something of a marriage story. Wow. And, and, and. When am I? When can I come back?

Huh? When can I come back into your podcast again? I want to. Bye. A win is a win. A win. I don't care what I'm saying. Yep.

That's me. Clifford Taylor the fourth. You might have seen the skits, my basketball and college football journey, or my career in sports media. Well, now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast. The Clifford Show. This is a place for raw, unfilled conversations with athletes,

creators, and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated. So let's get to it. Listen to The Clifford Show on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford and at TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok. American soccer is about to explode.

The World Cup is coming. Ramers sending on to Ernie Stewart the chip. Scored! I'm Tab Ramos. I'm Tom Boecker. On our podcast, Inside American Soccer, you'll get the real storylines, the biggest decisions,

and the truth about the U.S. national team. It wouldn't be a huge surprise if our team ends up in the quarterfinals or potentially a great run into the semifinals. Listen, Inside American Soccer with Tom Bogart and Tab Ramos on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast wherever you get your podcast.

This is Julian Edelman, host of games with names. On our latest episode, we got comedian Blake Anderson from workaholics and the hilarious This is Important Podcast. Let's go! We did beat them in improv. You had an improv against the team?

Yes, we would pull up their schools would be there with signs for us. It's competition. What you would win is a bottle of gold slager. James Fester threw it out of a van because he didn't want us drinking it. For more games with names, visit the IHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcast. This financial literacy month, we are talking about the one investment, most people, ignore. Building a business around the life you actually want. It was just us. Making happen, whatever he said was going to happen and then it happened. On those amigos, entrepreneurs like

America Sam and Joe Huff get real about money, taking risk, and while your dream might be the smartest move. At the end of my life, what am I really going to care about? And the conclusion I came to is what I did to make the world a better place in whatever way. Listen to those amigos on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHart Podcasts. Guaranteed human.