Hollywood Handbook - Martha Kelly, Our Halftime Show Friend

Episode Date: February 4, 2025

The Boys help MARTHA KELLY prepare for hosting the Super Bowl halftime show. Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. The video cameras are on, right? Have they been on? How long have they been on? Uh, 11 seconds. Okay. All right. So we didn't get when Martha tried to hit me earlier.

I didn't get that, sorry. Okay. Because I made a pretty innocuous comment. Something I would characterize as a little joke And she took a huge swing backhand at me and tried to hit me. Luckily she, she actually just grazed my jacket. And then later she grabbed her drink off the table and said, I can't have this here.

I won't be able to go back and forth. And I said, short arms, your short arms, which I know because you were unable to hit me from where you're sitting, so far, and you needed the drink, and then she looked at me again, like she wanted to murder me. I'm just like, what the fuck? All the conversations we had about like,

hey, we're thinking about having Martha back on, like, do you think that's a good idea? Yeah, do you think she's ready? And everyone we talked to was saying, can she control herself? You just have to be prepared, she's gonna take a huge swing. And I thought that meant performance wise,

which of course I've seen her do literally everything I've ever seen her in. Well, yes, every time I see her on camera or in person, she's always like swinging wild. You can feel the breeze. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, and not all those swings land, but I think as a performer,

as an artist, as a persona. The lights flicker in my house when she is on screen. I think I want that, I want someone so bold, but I didn't realize that. I want it when it works, which it has worked. It has, it has. It has. But I go, oh, I think I want my artists to be like unhinged,

which Martha is, and just like totally fucking bononcos. But then when you actually have to sit on a couch with them, watch out, because it doesn't stop when, it doesn't stop when the camera's off, or right before the camera turns on. And she must have known, she must have checked for the lights before she took the swing because it was like, it was 11 seconds before, you know,

we started recording. I turned the camera off and then I swung at you. Okay, so that would make sense too. Well, you must have had to get really close to the camera to turn it off. Yeah, because your arms are so fucking short. Got these little T-Rex stumps coming off the shoulders here. And it's just like, and by the way, I don't care.

I mean, here we go again. We're talking about our female guests bodies, you know, like it's, everyone's just like up our ass about everything these days. And it's like, yeah, well, you know, in's just up our ass about everything these days, and it's like, yeah, well, in a way, she brought it up first, said she couldn't reach her soda. And that's also like, those are the bodies that I'm looking at more. Yeah.

The T-Rex bodies? No, just women's bodies. I feel like people don't understand this, what they criticize us for. It doesn't make sense, really, like, do you have a lot of comments on women's bodies? It's like, well, that's what I'm looking at. Yeah, that's bodies. I feel like people don't understand this, when they criticize us for this. It doesn't make sense, when they're like, do you have a lot of comments on women's bodies? It's like, well, that's what I'm looking at.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that makes sense. When it's like a do you think, I'm working with the same thing basically. Do you, and I'm, because I know I trust you guys, cause you do mostly look at female bodies. Yeah. If hypothetically I was gonna try to hop back

into the dating game and go on the apps, should I not mention my T-Rex arms or is that considered catfishing? I think it's, I'll make this even clearer. It's not necessarily catfishing, but what I'll say is, it's so pronounced that what you're gonna wanna aim for is someone for whom that is a fetish,

and you'll both be really happy. Okay. Because it's like, it's not like your arms are a little short. Right, no they're not a little short. They're insane. The game has changed Martha and I can tell you there's a whole stubby chaser community. There's a lot of

People out there. There's someone out there for everyone and you are someone's Someone yeah, okay. You're someone's ideal It's like let's talk about how to get you out there, how to get you really in front of some fellas. Do you, now, do you think that I should do this? What, sorry. What did you not understand about me saying, let's talk about something else. Like this, I'm trying to redirect the conversation.

We're gonna get you out there. We just don't, Martha, if you could just not, like, kinda come for me today. Like, we really do not have much time, okay? We are in a hurry to get the episode done. Right, because the football game is this Sunday? Yes, thank you. Is it this Sunday?

So this is what I've learned. I kind of thought it was in June, but it is actually not this Sunday. But it's coming up. But the one after. And I'm thinking like, okay, that seems pretty far away, but by the time we get to next Thursday, I feel like it is gonna be too late

to plan the entire halftime show, which we have to do. We've done a bunch of episodes about it, but we haven't sealed the deal. Do you think if I make the cut and get to be in the halftime show? It's you, Martha. It has to be you, believe me. I don't like getting more than you do.

No, I wish we had more time because we cycled through some options that looking back we maybe shouldn't have moved off of so quickly. Bill Hines had some pretty good material. Oh my God, if I could have Bill Hines back in here right now. Yeah. But he's got his own stuff going on and we've got you

and we are going to make some lemonade, right? We're gonna squeeze those babies. Okay, well coach me, but also can you introduce me to Taylor Swift at the football game? Well, she's in the market for a new best friend. I've seen some reports she's distancing herself from her bestie, Blake. I've seen some reports she's distancing herself from her bestie, Blake.

Really, in Blake's time of falling from grace, Taylor's, really, is that true? In Blake's time of falling from grace. I don't know if she's falling. I don't have a better way to say it. I don't have, I was ready to come at you. I was gonna say, hey, if we talk about this on stage during the show, let's like really nail down the phrasing.

But I think that's it. It's like democracy. It doesn't work, but it's better than anything else we got. Yeah, yeah. So far, we'll see. I mean, we might like authoritarianism. We've never tried to. Thank you for bringing this up so I can say,

please stop talking about this because you have come on the show multiple times from during the two administrations ago and talked about killing the president. We cannot have this. That's not gonna be. And I need you to get on record right now and say that you are not going to do that.

It's not gonna be the rest of the episode. Please don't talk about it. And as part of the show, when you do the halftime show, you will not going to do that. As part of the- I'm not the host of the episode. Please don't talk about that. And as part of the show, when you do the halftime show, you will not do that, please. I will not ever, unless it's self defense, I will not kill anybody. That might come up, Martha, and you just have to let it happen if it does.

This guy's a little bit unpredictable. You have to let him kill you. If he comes at me, yes, I will defend myself up to and including murdering and self-defense, which is not murder. You're not gonna be able to reach the fucking guy. Don't say murdering and self-defense. He's got those long arms, you know what I mean?

I, they don't call me T-Rex only because of my arms. That's right. Oh, wow. Okay. That's right. There wow. Okay, that's right. There's some teeth happening and there's some. Little pea brain. Okay. There. Little fucking pea brain.

Need another one down your tail. Get the message across. Do not kill this guy. Okay? Other people. You have to let him kill you, Martha. And at least. Better people than you have tried, okay?

And even if you are gonna defend yourself, can you just say now that you're gonna let him kill you, please? Here's what I will say. For the show, can you say that you'll let him kill you? For the show, here's what I'll say. I will play dead and I am sure it will fool him the same way it would a bear.

So if he tries to kill me, I will play dead. Okay, well he's gonna sniff you pretty hard. So like, how are you gonna- You're gonna have to really hold still. When he leans down to sniff me, I'm gonna jab him in his eyes with my T-Rex claw. Come on, Martha. But that isn't gonna kill him.

It will blind him and I'll get up and run away. All right. I'll use my tail. Well, you have to do the show. I mean, like, it's not much good to us if our halftime show act has run away. If our halftime show centerpiece is running away, and I am holding out hope that we get some other.

Wait, is he gonna be at the game? I don't know that I. Yes, he's probably gonna be at the game. I think he's gonna be there. And like Taylor Swift as well, is there, like, as a football fan, is not there to, like, be, like, making friends with people. They're there to just watch like making friends with people.

They're there to just watch the game. Yeah. Okay. So if you could not force your friendship on any of the VIPs, if you could let the VIPs kill you if they want to. If Taylor Swift wants to kill you, then we have to let that go through. I am a big fan of her music,

so I for sure would not kill her in self-defense. What's your favorite song of hers? One of my favorite songs is called Marjorie. Don't we, don't do this on stage. Like when you see, you go, Taylor's here. I think the show should be mostly crowd work just because material-wise we're in a shallow pool. We might need a little of everything.

So by the time we're done with the dancing portion, we're onto crowd work. So people- So wait, am I dancing or you mean there's gonna be dancers and then I come on? No, you're dancing for just a minute. Don not, don't make the whole thing dancing, please. But like, you know, it's a little dancing and then we're on to the next thing.

I did try out for Drill Team freshman year of high school. So. Okay. Didn't make it. Okay. That was the first year that they decided not to allow everyone who auditioned to get on it. Which is not fair.

And is that? Was it everyone but you that made it? No, but it was most everybody. I was, in their defense, I was not good. Yeah. But I did, but they, but if they had accepted me onto the team and I could have practiced with the team,

I could have gotten a little better. Still maybe not good, but anyway, what do we coach me? I'd trade off for Dill Team. Okay. They really put me in a pickle. Yeah, I don't know. You can use that more. Well, we're gonna have to use that.

That's gonna be hard. I mean, we really don't have much time, so we are gonna have to use. First, it's like a Gallagher thing where you go, guys, I tried out for for drill team in high school and then you take out a board and you start drilling holes. Drilling holes in it. But in this case I think you will have to be drilling

a pickle because we have to like move. You put the pickle on the end of the power drill and it's like kind of spinning around. So then I say I tried out. I thought they said drill team, yeah. Yeah I tried out for drill team. And it really put me in a pickle. And then I bring it, I pull out the drill.

It has a pickle on it. It has a pickle on it, spinning around really fast. And it probably flying off to be honest. I mean, we don't have time to like see if it works. And so my guess is this thing is gonna go flying off and maybe kill the president with no one to mind watch. Okay, that's not my fault if that happens. Yes, it is.

It will be, it will be, because this is all you've brought to us in terms of ideas for what to do on stage, and it's very, very dangerous. Your other thing was to do crowd work with Taylor Swift. You're making up song names. You're saying one of my favorites. What you do is you go, my favorite song, you go, Taylor, I see Taylor's here.

My favorite song is 22, that's how old I am. Please say that you're 22 for this show. For this show or for the halftime show? For the halftime show. Okay. This would be nice. I do like the song 22. I'll be honest. Perfect, it's your favorite. How's it go?

How's that part go? I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22. Okay, it should go, I don't know about you, but I'm definitely 22. Okay, it should go, I don't know about you, but I'm definitely 22. When you sing it, that's what it has to be. What if I go even farther back and I go, I don't know about you, but I'm about to turn 22. I'm not even 22 yet.

I don't know about you, I'm about to turn 22. I'm 21. Yeah. I'm 21 and a half. Yeah. I'm 21 and a half. Yeah. I'm 21 and three quarters. My birthday's in like July. I don't think that's three quarters,

but again, it has to be. It has to be three quarters. Okay. So we've got the deal. Okay, go ahead. We don't have that much time, but let's hear the case for why a July birthday. I think it's good to A, get the math wrong,

and B, to say three quarters, but you are rounding up, because it's really and a half. It'll be really distracting, because if someone said they were 21 to three quarters and their birthday was exactly six months away. Exactly, yes. I don't think I'd be able to hear whatever song or show was happening for the next five minutes.

I would just be thinking about that. It's so. In this specific case, that might benefit us, that that becomes the big headline after the show, is that the performing act, right, was unable to do the math on their own age. And even the camera guys and the directors in the truck that are supposed to be following the show

are so distracted by that, that you just move out of frame and the camera's not even moving. They aren't switching angles or anything. Everyone is thinking about why you said 21 and three quarters. Wouldn't it be like April? Wouldn't it be like April? So, okay.

Okay, so we've got for the set list, we've got a tryout for Dill team. Well, let's start from the beginning. Wait, then I accidentally kill the president with the pickled dill. Please don't come at me, Martha. I try not for Dill Team. We need to start at the beginning.

I'm 21 and a half. Lots of people think that Kendrick Lamar is gonna be doing the halftime show. That is not what we said. First off, no. We said that Lamar was doing the halftime show, Spanish for the Mar, which is your stage name. We have told people.

So you say, it's me. Lamar. Lamar. And then can I also say fun fact, cause people like fun facts. Kendrick Lamar who's not- Which of this are you saying? Can you just like be clear about like, are you saying cause people like fun facts?

I'm gonna say fun fact, and then I'm gonna turn to the crowd and go- Are you saying this? I know you guys love fun facts. Okay. Kendrick Lamar- That's kinda nice. Kendrick Lamar who is not here, Kendrick Lamar who is not here

did a remix version of Taylor's song Bad Blood. Kendrick Lamar was on it. And Taylor is here. Hi Taylor, I'm 21 and three quarters. My birthday's in July. My birthday's in July and I would love it if you came and you don't have to perform. But where is, you have to say, like where is it? Like what's the?

Where is my birthday party? Oh, my birthday's on the 4th of July. God bless America. My birthday's on the 4th of July. You honor me, Mr. President, with your attendance today. And then I do a bottle rocket that accidentally hits him and kills him. Well, it's not accidental if you just announce

you're gonna do it. Well, I mean, it's a dangerous firework, so you never know. And is that gonna be like, that has a pickle on the end of it too? Yeah. Like you've attached a pickle to the end of a bottle rocket? What if I came out with those tiny pickles

on the ends of each of my fingers? Mm-hmm, cornichons. Gherkins. Cornish, is that what you call them? Well, cornishons is what I'm thinking of, but gherkin is also an example, yeah. Okay. I call them corny-shons.

Well. Okay, guys. Enjoy the rest of the episode, Mark. I'm actually quite thinning. Please give me some grace in this. Like I am so scared and upset about like where all this is going. I call them annoying haze.

I am so sorry. That's not anything. That's not. Nasty annoying haze. That's not. That's just what I call those pickles. That's not derived from anything. I'm allowed to call them whatever I want.

Corny Sean's is exactly what it sounds like. Say it again. That's exactly what it sounds like. Say it again. That's exactly what it sounds like. What I'm thinking about the show. And you don't even know what I was saying. Like I could have just been pronouncing it. It's a normal way to pronounce it. You said gherkin.

I fucking didn't even know the fucking word. Stupid idiot. Gherkins is a different thing. Yeah. It is something. Yeah, it is a thing. It's not what she was talking about. It's not that I didn't know the word.

It's not what she was talking about. It's not that I didn't know the word. It's not what she was talking about. Now look. Like you know what the fuck, like any of us know what she's talking about. Seriously. It's the closest I've ever come. Which one were you talking about? What did you mean?

Okay. Like she knows. Don't project your anger at Hayes onto me. Who's angry? See, I'm not angry. See? See what I'm saying? She doesn't know. She doesn't know the fuck.

Dysflecting. So I think it should be mostly crowd work. I think it should be Matt Rife style. Okay, I love it. Interested in getting a whole new jaw. Okay, let me try this. And it goes on top, it's not replacing the original one. Like an extra jaw.

Brand new jaw. I'm gonna get a prosthetic addition to my nose as well, not for any acting jaw, but just to accentuate my nose. I've been thinking about it. acting job, but just to accentuate my nose. I've been thinking about it. Okay. Okay, let me try some Matt Rife crowd work on you. Hey, I bet you guys are all thinking like, wow, how can somebody that good looking be funny?

How's that? Okay. I love it. I mean, I think, I think I like it when he does it. I'm struggling with the crowd aspect. I'm trying, as the crowd in this case, I'm trying to figure out where I'm trying to find

a purchase in this. I'm being told what I'm thinking. Wow, I bet you guys are thinking this. Yeah, that's right. That's me, you guys, that was me. You're talking directly to me. Let me revise it, because I can see that I hit a nerve, okay?

Okay, I was getting there, but sure, go ahead. Okay. Like I was really close, but come on, if you wanna just start over. Do you wanna finish your... No, at this point there's absolutely no way. It's like that's scotched. I ruined it, okay. That's done.

That is, that's ashes. Okay. Okay, here's a second draft of Matt Rife. Hey, thanks for having me at the Superbowl. Did you just hit those headphones with your hand? Yeah, I'm sorry. You okay? Thanks, yeah, I hurt my T-Rex clock.

You wanna show how long they are, but like, by just just hitting headphones and stuff? You didn't used to do, I don't remember you doing that before. It'd be one thing if every time you come in here, you're hitting headphones and things like that. I have to be honest. You can sue this place for injury. Okay, I did hurt my finger on the headphones. You can sue this place for injury.

Okay, I did hurt my finger on the headphone. You can sue this place for injury, Kevin Whitbury. I might sue this place for, I'm gonna sue this place for injury. Fucking sentences being constructed today. I'm just done. I'm so done. Can I try my,

Please. Can I try my mat right? The floor is yours. Okay Hey guys, I'm excited to be here at the Super Bowl. You know you take the couch I'll be on the floor for the rest of the fucking episode just lying down thinking about what went wrong in my life This is one of the worst episodes we've ever done Okay, go ahead Okay, go ahead.

Please go quick. I put myself in the audience, I'm getting really pissed off. And that's scaring me because I'm the one who's supposed to be taking care of me, the audience. Okay. Give them a good show. Now I'm in trouble. I just, is all of this part of the framework where you're- Is this part of the framework where Is this part of, is this it? You're breaking me down to then build me up.

Is that what's happening? What am I hearing? Is this the thing that you, cause you just Are you breaking my spirit with Sean giving up on the show and you screaming at me? Is this the crowd work? Yes. Yes, the crowd work? Yes. This is the Matt Rife thing?

Yes, the crowd isn't laughing. That's what I envision it would be like to be Matt Rife. The crowd is not laughing. It hurts. And I say to the crowd, are you guys trying to break me down so you can then build me back up? Okay, you're right.

The crowd isn't laughing. Crowd not laughing. If you're picturing being that rife, the crowd is not laughing. I got persona. They are shrieking with glee. Yeah. No, it's not mere laughter.

It sounds. It's explosive screams of ecstasy. It sounds like they're on a plane that's going down. That's, but it's pure ecstatic terror. I have a persona that could become popular online. Matt Reif, Trad Wife. It's two things people are talking about. Two things people talk about.

Don't know why, don't know what is really going on with either of them or how they necessarily combine, but it's definitely two things that people are talking about. Can you admit that at least, if nothing else the whole episode, and it hasn't been nothing else so far. Can who admit what? Can you admit, Martha, please,

that those are two things people are talking about and that they essentially have rhymed them now. I admit that, but you gave me an idea for a joke I could do. Well, lay it on me, Kerry. Because I saw a trad wife do it on TikTok. Okay. Okay, so I come out. You need to touch grass, Martha.

I'm sorry, you need to touch grass. I will not touch grass. Even when I'm literally on the grass, I won't touch it. It's fine. I also was kind of nervous about it, but like it is not, it's not, it's a little wet. There's bugs and stuff on it, but you can usually see them coming. Sometimes it doesn't look wet, but it kind of is,

but it's not that bad. It is kind of wet as well. There's dirt under it. A lot of people don't know that. And it's sharp as hell. And with your arms, you're not even getting to the dirt. You might barely even get to the grass, sorry. I do wanna talk about, sometimes if you're in the stadium,

they have advertisements for different companies that support the stadium. And a lot of times, because it's a sporting event, there'll be a ticket sales company who has a banner and I just wanna warn you in advance, if you see a sign that says StubHub, that is not a potential dating app for you. That is actually where people go to buy tickets for an event.

So like don't try to buy tickets for an event. So don't try to make a profile on there. It's not a stubby. Especially not live from stage while you're talking to Taylor Swift. That's not where you find a stubby hubbub or something. Yeah, stub hubby, yeah. I want a guy with arms that are way too long to compensate from my T-Rex arms.

And then together we can reach stuff. What are you doing in the? In the show? In the halftime show? Well, this is gonna have to be part of it. Because again, we have so little time, so this has to be part of it. Now it has to be about you finding a husband

in the crowd who's reaching something for you. Not a husband, just a boyfriend, or even we could even just be a situationship. Situationship, okay. I'm not getting married. You said we can reach things together. Yeah. What is your contribution, I guess, is my question.

I bring what people call personality plus. Okay. So I bring the good vibes while he's reaching stuff up on a high shelf. Okay. You are gassing him up. Yes, gassing him up. Yes, gassing him up. Okay. Yes. Martha, when you first did the show,

you had just moved here from Austin, right? Yes. And did you notice that immediately afterward, all of comedy moved to Austin? Like they heard I left and they all moved there? Well, I'm just wondering if you go back, can we have comedy here again? You know what I mean?

Cause I miss it, I miss laughing. I used to love that. I used to love it. I was looking forward to doing it at the Super Bowl. I can't Okay, I'm gonna get back in here whoa Okay, let's figure this out Maybe I've been too hard on you. Maybe it's me. I mean this is my bad nothing, but

ableism from the minute we started. You've, you kept going too long. It's been nothing. This has been nothing. It's been nothing so far, but we're, but it's a fresh start right now. Let's reset. Okay.

Please don't try to hit me again. I'm angrier now than I was when I tried to hit you before. Now I'm genuinely angry. But now you're on camera. But now you're on camera. Okay, yeah, I can't. That's a legal situation. I could sue you for injury.

Well. As we plan to do to head gum at some point. Whoa. Hollywood handbook. This year, speak like a whole new you with Babbel, the language learning app that gets you talking. Learning a new language is a pathway to discovering new cultures.

So why not embark on learning something new? And I learned something new about myself recently. I was looking through an old ancestral book that my Nona gave me, and I actually learned that my Nona's nono was Sispilian. And so all this time, I've always like, I've kind of felt like I had a little extra like, ratata to me, a little ratata.

And that is my Suspilian heritage. And people say like, oh, is that the same as Italian? It's like, no, it's actually completely different. We hate them. We hate them. We hate them. They're very, the two, and I say this as a complete outsider, I have no zest whatsoever.

My known as Nona was actually just a glass of milk. So that's what I'm dealing with. But I can see when I've actually watched that region, those guys hate each other. You wish they could see how similar they are. And so I am learning Suspillion so I can go in there and kinda help straighten things out. Quick 10 minute lessons handcrafted by over 200

language experts get you to begin speaking your new language in three weeks or whatever pace you choose. And because conversing is the key to really understanding each other, new languages, Babel is designed to use practical real world conversations inspired by the real stuff you actually need when communicating. When focused on conversation, you'll be ready to talk wherever you go.

Need proof that battle gets you talking studies from Yale, Michigan state, and other leading universities continue to prove Babel works Tom is, Oh, with over 16 million subscriptions sold babbles, 14 award winning and he as well as one of ours, Thomas was one of our guys 14 award-winning language courses are backed by a 20-day money-back guarantee this year get talking with Babel Let's get more of you talking a new language Babel is gifting our listeners 60% off subscriptions at Babel comm slash the boys Get up to 60% off at Babel comm slash the boys spell B a B B El comm slash the boys Babel comm the boys, rules and restrictions may apply. Fellas, this ain't the little itty bitty teeny tiny bull.

Uh-uh. You know when you go over to your boy, your boy calls you and he's like, come over, I'm holding, and you're like, okay, this could get interesting, and all he's got is a little itty bitty teeny tiny bull out. This eancy weancy, I gotta get my dang magnifying glass to get a good look at this little teeny tiny bowl.

And that's how you light it too. Oh yeah, no, I light it. I basically have to get an ant on fire from using the power of the sun to the magnifying glass. Wouldn't really do that by the way, love animals, love insects. But basically it's so small that I have to get the ant somehow and then trick him into running into the little teeny tiny bowl to escape the heat.

This is the Super Bowl. Get in on the action at Draft King Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of Super Bowl 59. Nice. Scoring touchdowns is key to hoisting the Vince Lombardi trophy, okay? That's literally something I said yesterday. And I've been saying that.

That's literally my line, scoring touchdowns is key to hoisting the Vince Lombardi trophy. I thought, I didn't. That's literally what I've been saying since yesterday. Is this copy they sent us? This is what Hayes was saying to me. That's literally what I said yesterday. He called me at 6 a.m.

And I said, this is my line for this year's Super Bowl. Scoring touchdowns is key to hoisting the Vince Lombardi trophy. That's literally my line. That's creepy, man. New Draftkings customers can bet $5 to get $200 in bonus bets instantly. Or they could lose it.

Download the DraftKings Sportsbook and use code THEBOYS. That's code THEBOYS for new customers to get $200 in bonus bets instantly when you bet just $5. Only at DraftKings Sportsbook, the crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. In New York, call 8778-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY 467369 in Connecticut help is available for problem gambling call

888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org please play responsibly on behalf of Boothill Casino and Resort Kansas 21 plus agent eligibility varies by jurisdiction void in New Hampshire Oregon Ontario bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance for additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co slash audio. Finally, the new Qwip 360 oscillating toothbrush literally revolves around you. Finally!

It's at long last. It's finally an electric toothbrush that doesn't overcomplicate the most basic daily ritual. When I see people brushing their teeth in a straight back and forth motion with a toothbrush that holds still, what I'm basically seeing is someone on a horse and buggy and I'm in my Ferrari Testerosa revving the engine and blasting off down the Autobahn because let's face it, there's something European about your toothbrush spitting around in your mouth.

Accepted by the American Dental Association, Qwip360 is scientifically proven to remove up to 11 times more plaque between teeth compared to a manual toothbrush and provide up to two times more whitening on day one. If you don't absolutely love then quip 360 is one of my day ones. If you don't absolutely love your quip 360 return it for free within 30 days. If you do love it, brush easy knowing you get free a lifetime warranty for

purchasing on getquip.com. It's one of your day ones. It's one of my day thirties because I tried it for the full 30 days and I said, I'm keeping you. And the opportunity to subscribe to refill heads by mail every three months. So you never have to go to the store. And now with quit perks, quit posts, their money where your mouth is. When you subscribe to auto ship, you'll be enrolled in quit perks to earn credit back over time. Oh, wait a minute.

My toothbrush that's spitting in my mouth is hurting me credit? It's like I'm playing a damn video game and winning while I brush my teeth. Yes, please. Put down the horse and buggy and pick up the keys to your brand new 1997 Ferrari Testarossa. You know you had it on a calendar on your wall.

Well, now it's time to have it inside your mouth, driving around the highways of your molars. Just for listeners of Hollywood Handbook, get 20% off site wide and a free travel case at countertopstand.getquip.com. Free your mouth today. Remove the chains that have too long weighed down your beautiful mouth. Save 20%. Get your mouth today. Remove the chains that have too long weighed down. Your beautiful mouth saves your braces. Get your braces out.

Take out your braces. You don't need them anymore. Quip will straighten your teeth with cleanliness. Save 20% site wide plus a free travel case and countertop stand at get quip, quip.com slash Hollywood. Get quip, quu-i-p dot com slash Hollywood. Get quip, q-u-i-p dot com slash Hollywood. Nice.

Whoa. Hollywood ham. Now. Okay, let's go guys. Build one up. You say, you come out, you say, it's me, Lamar. It's me? Lamar. Hey guys, it's me, Lamar.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Pretty good start. And then I say. And you're like, do it in like a way Hey guys, it's me, Lamar. Pretty good start. And then I say. And you're like, do it in a way that's like from Spain, so it's not like weird. Don't let it be weird, yeah. Hello, it's me, Lamar. Good, good, good. From Spain.

Oh, you say, I'm from Martholoma. I'm from Martholoma. I'm from,tholoma. I'm from. OK. Hi, guys. Then, yeah, that's my that's my full name. OK, my name is Lamar Martholoma Kelly. Katie, I'll I'll. It's me. Don't say I'll. OK, it's Ola.

It's not a low. That's all. That's how the French people say it. Oh la Excuse me. It's Lama Mm-hmm full name Marthelona Kayee Kayee and I'm here to say an adios time to hit the fucking bathrooms When is the building me up part gonna start? I thought that's what you were supposed to be doing. Why is it that you need to,

like it's only when I have to reach something for you, that you start building me up. Okay, first of all. I'm the one like, we're giving you this opportunity and you need more than that. Now we have to like build you up even more. But you- Jesse David Fox had an idea that a standup could do

the Super Bowl half time show. Thank you, let's get back to the roots of this. I've forgotten even- This was a genius innovation. No one else was trying to fix something that has been broken for a long time. We were able to take the reins and bring his vision to life. And we are now on the precipice

of completely eliminating music from American culture forever. And you are the warrior who can help us do it. You are the Martha in the arena, okay? The Martha-lona. Yes, the glory shall belong to you. But what we need is something, anything that people will enjoy

that you can say while you're in there. This could be actually having Martha at the Super Bowl make an overture to Taylor Swift could be part of how we eliminate music. Finally get rid of music. She would move to Austin instantly. Taylor Swift would or I would? No, Taylor Swift would.

I can finally defeat my enemy music. Do you know Jesse David Fox? No. Okay, well that's a deliberate choice on his part. He knows you, you're probably in the damn book. He knows you and he doesn't want you to know him. Can I Google him on my phone? Probably, you probably can't. Not right now or just-

Because he has obviously taken great pains so that- My suspicion is that you are blocked on Google. Jesse David Fox. Was he on Beverly Hills 90210? If he was, that's not a primary part of his lore. Jesse David Fox. He, look, it doesn't matter. He's the type of person, he puts,

he's not putting himself out there in the world, like he's putting ideas into the world. Is he a podcast? Yes! All of the above. He's a cultural genius, and he's a pre-eminent comedy journalist. Oh, a journalist, okay.

And he wrote an article in, I think 2023 at this point, saying that a comedian should host the Super Bowl halftime show. We have brought in a number of comedians to take a swing at it. Okay, let's sit up straight. Schedule and budget wise, we are now here. Yes, Bill Hines.

Bob Moynihan came in. I love, I'm a big fan of him. Had a cup of coffee with Bob Moynihan. I'm a big fan of his, I didn't- He didn't mention you at all. I didn't, well he's doesn't know me. He mentioned a fan of him. Had a cup of coffee with Bob Moynihan. I'm a big fan of his. I didn't. He didn't mention you at all. I didn't. Well, he's doesn't know me. He mentioned a lot of people.

Well, I've never met. Why would he know? Why would he mention me? We've never met and I'm not famous. I know him because he's on Saturday Night Live. God damn it. He's not on Saturday Night Live anymore. Bobby Moynihan? Yeah. No, he's on Saturday Night Live anymore. Bobby Moynihan?

Yeah. No, he's on Mr. Mayor now. I didn't know who Jesse David Fox was. Muna? Because. Muna was here and yes they are music, but they were not there to. Don't let Taylor hear you say who's Muna, they opened for her.

Have you ever met Gracie Abrams? I'm a fan of her music too. We have not met Gracie Abrams. We tried to do the TikTok trend video to her thing. We could not get the timing right. Yeah, I can. She's singing so fast. Yeah. It's crazy. The TikTok thing is like,

you're walking at the same time. Yeah, I can't do that. As you're trying to sing really fast. We couldn't get a long enough space to walk. Yeah, I can't do that. We kept having to turn and then the camera's not on you while you're doing the lip because the camera goes around the corner first. Yeah.

And whoever's got the camera's gotta be going backwards. I don't know how they do that. What I find, when I'm trying to sing walk, my just my upper body pitches forward. My feet don't wanna do anything. And like my whole head first, I'm just, and I'm down. You fall down. Yes.

I'm sorry, Hayes. That is a tough road to hoe. It's, thank you really so much for saying that, but I do just wanna, I don't know why I'd be hoeing a road. I don't know, I'm tired of being raked over the coals. From my terrible speech. Holes and rakes, like I feel like I'm in a fucking garden shed.

Just because I'm not good at wording things is really, I've never been this viciously attacked by you guys. And so, and this is a segue from Lamar Marthelona Kayee. It's Marthelona Kayee signing off from the worst Super Bowl halftime show you've ever seen. I, and then it's a segue to like, but this isn't the time I ate shit the most. I tried out for drill team and actually, dill team.

I tried out for dill team. Tried out for dill team, yeah. And it put me in a bit of a pickle. Put me in a pickle, that's what we have now that we know works. And then we, and then I bring out the drill with the pickle on it. Yeah. Flies off, goes up, hits President in the forehead. And then I bring out the drill with the pickle on it.

Flies off, goes up, hits present in the forehead. He falls over. Slaps over to the side. I guess I don't wanna do this, but I have to say it out loud just so we can all decide not to do it. Because there is a pickle sticking off the end of it, you say, I can't believe it.

I have to say it's all I'm supposed to know how to do. I can't believe you're gonna do this, Martha, and I can't believe it. I have to say it's all I'm forced to not do. I can't believe you're gonna do this, Martha, and I don't like it one bit. I cannot believe that you put us in this position that you're gonna do this. But you do have to say something to you, in fact, of like, I swear to God this is a drill,

even though it looks more like a drill dough. I don't work blue, and I will not work blue. You say, I don't work blue, I will not work blue. You say I don't work blue, but I do work green. I will never forgive you for as long as I live, but you've put me in this position of you doing this. This is the angriest I've ever been with anyone. I will not do that. And I've been mistreated.

You have to dance at this point. Okay. In the halftime show. Okay. What's the shortest dance you do? The shortest one. Do you hit the whoa? Well, I don't wanna put ideas in your head.

What's the shortest dance you do? The only dance, I only know one dance. When she does it, it's hitting the why. I only know one dance. It's the rerun dance from what's happening. That's way too long. Well, it's the only one. We just don't have time for it.

That's the only dance I know. I can do a little part of it. I can do the- How about this? First macarena, boom, right hand out, palm down, done. What about Martha-reina? The Martha-reina, that's right. The Martha-reina is good because it stays on the- Allow me to celebrate my culture.

Yes, you think that the Macarena is from Spain. Yeah. And you just, boom. Martha-reina, and then all the lights go black, and I try to sneak off the stage but I trip and fall because it's dark. That's good. I think because we have announced obviously

that you're doing the show and your name is out there, our best option right now is just to play a few minutes of the film Martha Marcy Mae Marlene. That movie was very upsetting. In terms of like, well so is this Martha. So is this. Okay, that's fair. You know what I just thought was like,

and I wish we weren't doing this and we could actually make this plan. If you were on The Voice and you do the Macarena as your song, and you get the judges to like do the Macarena and they accidentally reach out and they hit the button as their first act. They all turn around.

That's so smart. Cause they just got sucked into the Macarena. Yeah, so it's too late. And they like, it'd be so embarrassing for them. Like their only job is to not hit the button by accident. None of them would admit to it. And you do it every time, every show you do, the song is the Macarena.

Ladies and gentlemen, once again, the Macarena. Performing the Macarena for the fourth consecutive week, it's Martha. I'll do that. If you guys, do you know how I can get on The Voice? Can you put me in touch with their people or something? Who are the judges now? I don't know,

cause I can't reach the TV to turn it on. That sucks. That's really fucking brutal. Yeah, well, I didn't ask for these T-Rex arms. I was born with them. And if you believe it or not, they were even smaller when I was born. And I know that's hard to imagine.

That is, that is crazy. I assume. Sorry. What's that? Just me becoming incredibly nauseous imagining Even smaller arms So So okay, we did the dance portion done just when people are starting to wonder what's happening. It's over. Mm-hmm

That's how I love to do it. Singing, we know what you're doing there. Macarena. Hi, Taylor, I don't know about you, but I'm almost 22. I'm 21 and three quarters my birthday's in July. My birthday's in July. That's gonna buy us some time. I'm feeling good about this.

That's gonna buy us some time. This part of the show. Okay, okay. And then I'll do, this is the joke I saw a trad wife do. Oh, please. I go, I have a big smile, I can't do her big smile, but I have a big smile and I leaned forward and I go, I'm not a feminist, I can cook. And then the crowd goes fucking insane.

Okay, and so then. It's a big hit on TikTok, it's a viral video. Okay, well then you are gonna have to, we did comedy, we did singing, we did dancing, you are gonna have to like cook something if you introduce something like that other thing. So like what, how can you in a Super Bowl halftime show environment, there's like not a lot of cooking materials around really. Uh-huh. I can bring my air fryer, I can bring my air fryer, I can bring my air fryer, environment. There's like not a lot of cooking materials around really.

I can bring my air fryer. You have a pickle on a drill. Can you like, is there? Can that somehow come back around and can seem intentional what we're doing here because we are now bringing it back to food. Okay, I could make relish, right? How about this?

Well, he has a different idea. Oh, how about this, how about this? I'm not disagreeing with you that you could do that, but his has a different idea. Earlier in the show, you did the Dill Team joke, right? You spin the drill, and again, I'm begging you not to kill the president, as you just said in the run of show

that you were gonna do. So maybe we go back and- Only if he comes at me. Maybe we go back and change that. And you spin the drill so the pickle goes straight up in the air. Then you have the entire song and dance portion, you do your TikTok bit, and you say,

I'm not a feminist, I can cook. You hold out a hot dog bun, the pickle lands right in the hot dog bun. In there. Like a hot dog. Big bite of the pickle in the hot dog bun. In there. Like a hot dog. Big bite. Big bite. Of the pickle in the hot dog bun.

You eat how much? Three quarters. Okay. With the one bite. You go, this is how close I am to turning 22. You eat three quarters of a, not a gherkin, or a corny shawne. You eat a full side.

You know those pickles that are named like? A dill pickle. It's a dill pickle, but it's one of those like gas station bag pickles, like these, this it's like, and it's called like big Larry or something. You know these pickles? Okay, big Larry. Yeah. Yes.

And I know. And called like stinkin' Maurice. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yes. These pickles have. Yes. Yes. These pickles have a name. Yes, the normal one is called Big Larry, but you are eating Stinkin' Maurice,

which is the like garlicky cheese flavored gas station pickle. Okay. Are there, is there gonna be easy bathroom access at the Super Bowl? The pickle's gonna make you go to the bathroom. It sounds like it's gonna make me sick immediately. The pickle isn't gonna need to go to the bathroom.

I know it has a name, but it is still just a pickle. So if you're worried about Maurice, he's fine. I just feel, it sounds like I might get sick. You chomp three quarters of the- You're worried that you will vomit? I don't wanna go into detail. That really could help us. If I ran off stage and said I had to

or if I did it on stage? I don't understand why we are always coming back to you running off stage. Always running away. This cannot, can we just get that idea out of the mix? Let's assume we'll stay on stage for the whole halftime show. Okay.

Just as a thought experiment. Okay. Let's picture ourselves staying on stage for the entirety of the show. Okay. Even if we get very sick. Yes. And then people looking back aren't gonna go,

wow, they really kind of scrambled to plan this thing. They really only came up with one or two jokes. One of them was Kevin's. One was stolen from a viral tradwife TikTok, which is not a great look. And the running thing, just to make it come clean a little bit, if things are really going south,

we will be shooting you with a tranquilizing arrow. Okay. So. A dart is not going to travel the distance we need to be. We're really far away, because we need to be able to get out after we fire the arrow. Yes.

But, well they, when they shoot. Hayes wanted it to be a spear. Will be. Not to call you out. Hayes wanted it to be, Hayes wanted it to be basically a javelin. A tranquilizer, not like a killing spear, but like a javelin with a tranquilizing agent on the tip.

But when they, but they shoot. Please, please, please, please, please, please stop coming at me, Bartha. Can we, so do you remember when Lady Gaga like rose up into the air during the halftime show? She was just suddenly flying. For all her monsters. That.

When she was, okay. That. No, wait, is that when she was what? Doing the Zuber Bowl halftime show? Like what could possibly be your question? This is my, I'm gonna come clean about something. You weren't. You saying that cause I just said it?

Are you literally copying me? Hey, that sounded pretty good when Hayes said it. Let me try that on. I pretended to think you were joking when you said I have a pea brain like a T-Rex, but I actually do have a pea brain because I was trying to think of the song that Elphaba sings in Wicked that's been all the rage.

And to say is that what Lady Gaga was singing when she flew away and I couldn't. Jesus Christ. I still can't even think of the name of the song. Oh my God. Is it something about flying? I wish I'd never known that. It's even think of the name of the song. Is it something about flying shit? I wish I'd never known that.

It's something like. It's deflying gravity. Deflying gravity, was that what she was singing when she flew away? Oh my God, I can't believe this. You know what, I didn't ask to be born with a P brain any more than I asked to be born with these T-Rex songs. I just wanna say, even being able to come up with the song

was not, would not be, it's not better. Yeah. You know? It's actually, it's better to not come up with it. Not having the song title is the most defensible aspect of what you wanted to say. Anyway, the sudden flying mechanism is still there at the Super Bowl. We are hooked up to it.

Sean and I. Sean is hooked up to it and I'm, he's got his arms wrapped around me. I'm holding hands. And I have the arrow pulled back and we have choreographed it so that things are going south. We're gonna be going north, which is up, that's north.

And I can account for now, after much training, the backward thrust of the flying machine with the forward thrust that is needed to shoot you hard enough. So if you are running away, please do not zigzag. That's all I'm asking. Well, but wouldn't that make it more fun for everybody? Just do a normal straight line.

No, just make it sporting. Yes. Hayes will be dressed as Hawkeye, so if anybody's like, why's that guy got an arrow? Yes, it's Hawkeye. I'll be dressed like the Scarlet Witch, so if anybody's like, wait a second, why is the Scarlet Witch here? I'll be like, wait a second, why is the Scarlet Witch here?

I'll be like, well, we're gonna play Martha, Mercy, May, Marley later. Will you sing Defying Gravity when you're dressed as the Scarlet Witch? Come on, I remembered it that time. Deflying Gravity. Deflying Gravity. It's Deflying Gravity.

I'll say, have you guys heard of Defying Gravity? I can play it on my drill dough, and then I'll hold that up. It's not a drill dough. It's not a drill dough. It looks like a drill dough. Yes, I knew you were gonna say that it was a drill dough. Which I will never forgive if you make it us say.

I just. Just awful. And don't say, don't say, that's weird that Hawkeye is here because I'm Jeremy Runner off stage. You start running. Okay. And if you do, please just don't,

please just run a straight line. Please do not zigzag. So can I ask a couple questions? One, what happens after you tranquilize me and I fall down? Do lights go down? I think the game will resume with you lying there. Still on the field. Because I fell off the stage that I was on.

You did, I think the audience will at this point thirst for blood and we will need to sate them in some way. You getting trampled by the giant NFL players is actually gonna be good for everybody. Okay, well. Financially good for us too. It's not, it wouldn't be my first choice but I can see how it makes sense in the Half Time Show. What would be your first, let's just,

let's establish your first choice. Just so we know what it is. So what would be your first choice? Well my first choice is that my Matt Reif style riffing crowd work is, it kills and is a huge success. Did we ever figure out what that was? Hey guys, um Sometimes people ask me why is a guy who looks like a model doing stand-up? Uh-huh, this is me. So I'm in the crowd. Yeah And my my question to you is. The whole crowd in unison is like, uh-huh, okay.

All right, yes, okay, not it. But to answer your question of why somebody as hot as me with this jaw is not a model and is instead doing stand-up, I've seen some shit. Read my memoir. And then I go peace out. And I run off the stage before you can fucking shoot me with your spear.

How do you like that? Mm-hmm. It's not before, it's as. You run off stage as I can shoot you with my spear. He's shooting. If he does miss, so we have two fail saves. We have Hawkeye. Okay.

And then in the tunnel waiting for you is also Hawktua. And she will spit a tranquilizing agent into your mouth. No, wait. Because you'll be huffing and puffing from running, you know what I mean? I will, yeah. So either way, you're going to end up unconscious. And it's just a matter of basically where

and whether you want to be shot with an arrow, sort of noble. Or whether you want to get spit in your mouth from Hawk 2. I'm not gonna... Every time that I start to build my confidence with my great ideas for this show, I feel like you guys go back to the part Every time that I start to build my confidence with my great ideas for this show, I feel like you guys go back to the part where you break me down.

And I just want you to get to the part where you build me up. That's what these kinds of seminars are supposed to be. You break people down, you break their ego, you destroy all of their self-worth, and then you build them up with a completely different personality that everyone hopes people will like better.

And when does that part start? Because this is demoralizing. Let's talk about like, other options. Okay. Really celebrating like, the new administration, Super Bowl, American as it gets. And we're giving the new administration the benefit of the doubt, aren't we?

We're actually giving them a chance to succeed instead of piling on at the very beginning and be like, oh, I don't like the first thing you did. I'm not even gonna give you a chance to do another thing. Not letting them have one good day. So- Ooh, that really frosts my ass when we won't let them have one good day. Me and Nate Silver get so mad.

So what if, when they do the flyover, right? Okay. It's like F-35s or like the- No, I'm gonna duck for cover when that happens. You're gonna duck? Mm-hmm. Okay. I don't work blue, but I'll tell you who does. The Blue Angels!

The Blue Angels. Yes, that's right. You say that and then the Blue Angels fly over and they are fully equipped. And I hit the duck and cover my head. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

And if you, so like... Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Cover my head. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And if you, so like. It is an unfortunate vulnerability that like a lot has been invested in these, you know, multi-billion dollar machines, but they did not plan for ducking. So if you duck, it actually will probably save you. Like you're not supposed to duck.

The sort of like, yeah, the crosshairs are always in line for someone standing fully upright. Okay, so then I'll definitely be okay if I do that. So that actually probably will work. But they're also, like most people when they duck, they like put their hands over their head, which you cannot do. Wait, why not?

You can't reach your own head. Oh. I don't wanna be in show business anymore. Bye. Bye. Hollywood handbook. That was a HeadGum Podcast. Hey, it's Nicole Byer here.

Let me ask you something. Are you tired of endless swiping on dating apps? Fed up with awkward first dates and disappointing hookups? Girl, same. Welcome to Why Won't You Date Me? The podcast where I figure out love and how to suck less at dating.

Each week, I get real with comedians, friends, and celebrities about their love lives. We swap dating horror stories, awkward hookups, and dive into the messy and wonderful world of relationships. I've chatted with amazing guests like Conan O'Brien, Whitney Cummings, Sarah Silverman, Trixie Mattel, Tiffany Haddish, and so many more. So whether you're single, mingling, or boot up, there's something in it for everyone. Tune into Why Won't You Date Me With Me, Nicole Byer,

and Discover Insights that might just save you from your next dating disaster. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts, and catch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes drop every Friday.