Hollywood Handbook - Mary Steenburgen, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: March 24, 2026

The Boys inform screen legend MARY STEENBURGEN that she will unfortunately not be participating in The Dink promotional campaign.   Get a Hat Pack Hat here! Check out Sean and Hayes’s bonus shows at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Listen on the iHeartRadio App!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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the conversations everyone's having. So whether your bracket is busted or you just want the latest on the tournament, we got you. Listen to Flakron and Funny with Carrie Champion. and Jamel Hill on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports. Do you mind if I crack these, Mary? Yeah, so Mary, it's, please.

It's Hayes' birthday today. Oh, my God, happy birthday. Yeah, so he's, we'll see if it's a happy birthday. Is that a joke or it's true? In the back. No, it's not a joke. I would never joke about Hayes' birthday. Mary, not only is it my birthday, I turned 40 today.

day. That's when life gets interesting. Well, for a podcaster, it really means something. And I take being a 40-year-old podcaster very seriously. That's not a responsibility that I take lightly. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. I understand the responsibility that comes with wearing that crown of being a 40-year-old podcaster. I've watched my boy here do it for a minute. Conduct myself with grace. You know. And the whole time I've been thinking, that's going to be me someday.

I'm going to be a 40-year-old podcast. But it doesn't just happen. You got to put the time in. What changes do you think from 39 to 40 in terms of podcasting? In terms of podcasting? So the listeners, first of all, they go up a lot. A lot more people show up to listen to a 40-year-old podcaster. Because they know that you've got something to say.

I mean, there's some worldly experience that you've garnered over the years. And we all Your audience Did they become more mature along with you? And you leave those kids behind? We definitely have left a lot of people behind Because they start coming from you Once they turn 40, they want the chair.

You know what I mean? So then the hunt is on. So they have become sort of like Battle Royale type Like Royal Rumble type King of the Mountain situation. Or queen of the mountain, you know. And so I know

I know they're watching. I know they want to see me fall. And we'll find out. And we'll find out exactly what I can do. Was there a note with the treat? It says, Happy Birthday Hayes from Kevin. So personal.

Kevin, how did it? Did you write that yourself, Kevin? I did. Hi, guys. So beautiful. I fell down the stairs. Okay.

Oh my God. It's so dark. It's so creepy. You fell down the stairs, Kevin? Because it was so dark. It was so dark and slippery with my slippery socks. But don't worry, I'm okay. I fell out. I only landed on my back, but I got to work on getting some new lighting. You ever have Susie cakes? Happy birthday haze. You ever have Susie cakes,

Mary? Yep. You ever have Susie cakes? I have had them. Yeah. I used to dance. Are you a fan? Oh, one of his jokes. Mary, you're sort of famous, actually, for baking pies, aren't you? Aren't you known as a wonderful pie baker? I am in my, I am in my family. I didn't. I didn't. know that anyone outside my family was aware of that they should be. I see Hayes opening this confection and I go, this reminds me of Mary in her famous pie baking. How is making a film like baking a pie?

Oh wait, what do we have? There's four of them. They all say happy birthday Hayes. Cupcakes or cookies? They're cupcakes. They're cupcakes. Do you want to pick one out and we'll ship it over to you? Not really. Okay. But happy birthday. you only have four, I figure you should enjoy them. That and the, I'm feeling like a little depression about a whole mid-decade,

even though you're trying to make it sound old dressed up. Wait or depression on his behalf. Wait and see. Wait and see. Wait and see. What happens on this podcast this decade, Mary. I can't wait to show you, Mary. And I think it's really, I think it's really appropriate to talk to me about,

you know, being depressed about turning 40. I needed you to hear this. Not that I'm depressed. I'm not. I needed you to hear that this is when I enter my podcasting prime. And like I said, I knew that people like you would say, oh, he's depressed. Oh, he can't do it. Everyone is just assuming, oh, he's going to completely fall apart on the air and the show is just going to disintegrate.

But Hayes is, and I quote, 40, florid, and thriving. Got it. He's 40, Florida, and thrive. Yeah, and fly. Are you. Are you? Pardon my lack of knowledge about your personal life.

Yeah. Have, have, do you have a love? I do have a love. I do have a love. It's right here. Her name's Mike. Yeah. Little gal name Mike.

are a phone. Mike, that sounds like a voice, babe. You might be surprised that this is the very year you might meet an actual human love, you know, beyond your mic. You might. Does that happen? Because I am told that it does not. Once you've actually connected to the mic in this way.

It did for you, huh? Oh. So you got the last one. But I didn't have that mic, you know, to rival it. But yeah, yeah, I did. I did fall in love at age 40. I hope they're into a thruple because whoever shows up, they're not replacing the mic. They're going to have to figure out of work out of my mouth.

With the two of you is. All right. Mary, talk about when you became such a big fan of Hollywood Handbook. What is it that made you want to do the podcast so much? Let's see. And please take your time. I hate when people just answer the question. It's a huge problem with other guests on this show.

I guess it was diversifying from just doing stuff on we're here to help with Jake Johnson. I'm feeling like maybe a second podcast or actually a third. That show is a little nasty. That show's a little nasty. I think I was more than mean-spirited one because I did call them up to complain about one of their shows. And so then Jake said, please don't waste these gems with just me on the phone. Let's put it on the air. So we did.

You called him to complain about an episode that he had done that you were listening to Recreationally? Yes. Yes, I didn't have to do it. Although it was around the same time, we were starting to do a little. little press for the dink and probably my vanity wondered if he would mention our movie shot. Yes, yeah. But he didn't. Well, we did make a film together and let's get to that, I guess.

And I don't really use this as like a promotional platform for my stuff usually. But we did make a film together. And I was curious because you have been in the business and you've achieved some of the highest heights you can. was it kind of crazy to watch me do my thing out there? It was. Yeah. It wasn't. That's another reason why I wanted to come on the show because I thought maybe I'll get a little bit more of that show and magic, you know, it'll just come my way.

You've done a lot of projects, but you hadn't seen anything like his quite like that before. And it must make you wonder what's going on with his co-host as well, huh? If that you got, it opens up that question. If there's another one? I thought, is there another one? Could lightning strike twice? I did. I thought that was important.

Yeah. And, Sean, now are we speaking about your writing or your acting or just the double breathness? Well, I was it strange at all that I wasn't to you, I know how I felt about it. Was it strange to you that I wasn't in front of the camera more? I wondered why you weren't. It was missing a little bit maybe. On the next one, we got to, we got to sort that out.

Was that Ben Stiller's choice? It's because you're all, it's Sean's voice, right? It's his name on the literally every single fucking word. So the answer is he was on camera. You were him. And Aaron Chen was him. Oh, we're bonded in that way. And Patton was him.

And Jake was him. Yeah. You have become me. Gosh. I appreciate your name in the cast in case I forgot one of them. But it's still a little early. Unless you air this. A little early to do press?

Sometime in July, it's a little early to do press. So about that, Mary, like you were saying, you did a little press with Jake. It wasn't working. The thinking is that Sean... I don't think... Go ahead. I think I heard you say pretty obvious. It wasn't working.

We gave it a try, the Mary Jake combo. I feel like that's a little bit of a competition from you, if I may, toward Jake, because it actually worked really, really well. That's so interesting. Right. Yeah. That's literally not what you said. No, I said I had a problem with.

something that he did on his podcast. Okay. And because he's, you know, very confident as a human being, he said, come on. Just come on an air right on the air and talk about it. And so we did. He did not find complaining about his podcast to be an attribute that he's looking for in someone that he's going on a whole press tour with.

That's, that's, that's, that's. that's family. That's a big investment. You know what I mean? Complaining about a podcast, that's not going to work for the long haul. So, we mix and match a little bit, maybe. Maybe Sean jumps in the Mary chair.

Mm-hmm. Does a little press for the movie. Mary does press for this podcast. And if we're doing that, and it's all promoting the industry. I can't help but wonder, is that going to, to work me and Jake. We have no rapport. But if you were in the Jake chair, I could be in there

as someone who would actually be objective. Mm-hmm. Because I see, like, when you, they had me look at the press and I'm like, they're in the movie. It's hard to trust someone sometimes when they're talking about how great the movie is and they're in the movie. But you got Hayes out there saying how how great it was on set. Or whatever I actually think, you know, like, I will actually be objective. I would never ever betray the audience by saying something that I didn't fully commit to. I know. And right before we began this podcast, you did tell me how great you thought the movie was, that you'd seen it. You thought it was really, really great. And I said, are we rolling now? I will be watching it again. He's got a double check. The idea that I would just watch it one time,

kind of a long time ago the world has changed a bit since then Mary and the terra of of the air that we breathe it impacts how we perceive culture

I got to see how the movie holds up do you think you're just saying that because you're older now maybe it's the 40 talking but you know what that's the 40 talking maybe everyone else in the world It's a little older too

since I saw the movie. Yeah, but not by like a whole decade. You know, not like... Big milestone, yeah, not everyone's hitting one of those. Right. So I guess it's not good press to say that seeing the dink made me age an entire decade while everyone else

stayed sort of youthful. Stayed aging on normal time. So this is maybe an example of what Jake was talking about when he said, tell it, let her down easy. She is no longer doing press

on this movie. You figure out who doesn't. I wanted to be huge but I understand if you're busy. He called you and said that to you again. He told us a person. He said a lot of things. He keeps calling us.

Sean, and I've talked to you multiple times in the last few weeks. I even played pickleball with you once. Yeah. And you never told me that I'm not doing press for the movie. It didn't come up. It didn't come up.

You know what I mean? Because they were saying the score and we're saying, this is in. This is, you know, wow, good shot. Any memorable points? Any points that you remember from the game? Any funny things he said. Well, I'm having trouble remembering anything right now. This does come as a pretty big shock to me.

It's uncomfortable. I sort of say the month of July to be. doing the press that at one point. Yeah, like Apple TV did say, hope you're free for July. Got me. Well, I am, but now this, yeah. You've been thinking of picking up.

I could recommend one. July hobbies. Well, I hope it ain't going to be, I was not going to be pickleball because that's going to be a little sad now. And you'll have no one to play with because Sean will be doing. Well, I'm going to be doing all the press

with Jake and. Hayes is going to be doing the press with me and I don't know what Jake's going to be doing either. So maybe that's what you meant when you thought I was depressed, Mary. Because he's doing all depressed. Maybe what you were picking up on is that I'm doing every last bite of depress. Oh, man. Ah, now she gets it. I can tell you really enjoy it.

I can see why that mic is your love, man. I can see why that mic is your love. Okay. we get into it sometimes but uh always climb into the same bed at the end of the day me and mike mary what uh when did you start liking this podcast together about did you say 24 hours ago when shot call me yeah yeah and said but i i have watched three today well i was oh three i mean i mean i I only knew about one, but I was promised actually a fun fact.

Yeah. So one of them was Bill Macy, who, let's be honest, is pretty amazing. He's begging to come back on here. I didn't see it. I'll take your word for it, that he was amazing. I didn't get that bill. I thought in spite of everything, that guy kept that thing going. And it was fascinating.

He was fascinating to me. That record was almost four hours. There's no cuts. Really? Visible? Wow. Yeah, no visible cuts at all. We had to tell a lot.

He said some really, really bad stuff. Do you have a fun fact about him? All the ones I have are brutal. Well, my fun fact is that we both have been on Dr. Henry Lewis Gates' show, Finding Your Roots. Skip. That's, to me, that's Skip. Skip. Skip.

It is Skip. I didn't realize you guys were close. But so. We just call them. Dr. Skip. So at the end of the thing, they look to see if you have anybody that's been on their show that actually you are related to. And I am a cousin of Bill Macy's, and he is a cousin of mine. And we share a fascinating.

fascinating a person, many, like five or six generations back grandfather, you know, great, great, great, great, great, whatever that is, who, he came to America from Amsterdam and he enlisted in the army during the French and Indian War and he, he He was so badly behaved, such a drunk and a womanizer that officials in the Army wrote a letter that they showed me to his commanding officer saying, if you don't get Peter Steenbergen under control, not only is he going to get kicked out of the Army, but you are too. And his commanding officer that this was sent to was George Washington. Wow.

So my many great's back, grandfather could have changed human history. And Bill Macy is also connected to that guy. And then he kind of, they sent him out to, you know, what was then known as Indian territory and thought maybe he'll be fine out there. He wasn't. He got in trouble out there. Then they kicked him out basically of the army. So he found a very wealthy widow and married her and opened like an inn and a tavern and had children of which I'm a descendant. And then when he was 55 years old, he went back to fight in the Revolutionary War with George Washington, who just couldn't get enough of him. And he actually did some really heroic things at the age of 55, which was a very old man at that time. Mary, Mary, Mary.

I'm done. Very important question about this. Yeah. Yeah. Does Lin-Manuel Miranda know about this? Oh. I mean, has he been made aware? No, but my lawyers have.

So I do on the rights. on the rides. Peter Steenbergin, the musical. Mary. Famously not a virgin. Steering you up. Yes. Oh, virgin and virgin.

You're already there. We're already there. After binging, he's purgeon. I'm 55, but I'm still alive. And now I thrive. It's old for now. But later, wow, you're going to think it's not that bad. Hayes is 40.

And he's Florida. I mean, the whole. thing is just flowing out of me. And I'm not even Lynn Manuel. I mean, I haven't read the Lynn Manual yet. You know, I, I'm just a guy. So I think that you got it. Well, maybe you should write as, Sean, because I don't know if you have much else to do.

My, that I have much else to do. Interesting way to phrase it. I know. I gave you. I mean, he has an entire month of press to do in July. Okay. I have a ton of appearances. I have a lot to explain before that why I'm in Mary's chair.

One issue I see with doing this as a musical, something like, I don't know if you know, we're friends with Skip, I don't know if you know this about his show, that entire thing. I didn't know until, yeah, until today. It was your idea? No, the entire thing is made up.

Oh. Oh. Every single thing you were saying, like, he's just like riffing. He's like, he has a bunch of photos of like old. people and like letters people from the past and like old letters and stuff but like it's sort of a slow burn like ancestral punked yeah and so it's yeah he waits a while to kind of do the reveal but um and bill is a challenge and bill is in on it bill picked you actually said i gotta get married she's in my cross hairs and do you think does harvard also know about it like Harvard

Harvard thinks it's awesome. Harvard is like, they go crazy. They have a great sense of humor. And it makes much money. The lampoon. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like funny and it's like everyone's making money. Insane sense of humor. It's crazy. Yes, again, wealth and just like and fun. And quite frankly, obviously I'm a huge fan. I love you. The target that they're picking is somebody often who could stand to be like, take it down.

peg you know what i mean really and when did what what do you think i did that made people feel like i needed to be taken down well bill was talking yeah go ahead yeah i don't know if this is related like he was coming in here talking about like he was like god i could i could really use a break i just found out i have someone called cousin bird braid at my family and i wonder if that was you Do you think that was Mary? He was calling cousin bird braid? But was that... Well, I'm confused by this.

If I can be honest, because if he was saying that it was about Mary, but we're saying that it was a prank, which is true, that he had orchestrated. Yeah, that's where I... Like, was he so deep in character on the prank side of it. Mary, I'm confused as well.

I think he was probably really in character. 39-year-old Hayes, I don't think would have introduced the cousin bird bird. brain idea. Well, after. I like both ideas, but I think we have to pick one. See, I feel like it is on the kind of more immature side of Hayes and not as a new kind of

39-year-old Hayes. So. That's interesting. In terms of you being taken down at PA, like, why that would need to happen or something, I guess, like, if you have to ask, you can't afford it. And that's what we say on this show. No, I can take it. I really, no, no, I can take it. And like if there were complaints.

You can't afford it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't know what you mean about for, but I can deal with it. And I'm curious. And I feel like, I feel like if that's the rep I have out in the world, the kind of insular world of Hollywood, it's better that I know now from a good friend like you. So, was it something on the dink or is it something that the thing was a dream?

The dink was a dream. That was a dream. That was a dream. Was it all that? I think it was, yeah, I think it was actually before that. I think it was when you were working at the sticky pan. Before my Oscar. Weren't you working?

It was prior, it was pre- Oscar and it was, what was it? The magic pan. Does you work at the sticky pan? The sticky magic pan? Yes. No, there was no sticky. And you love that word. I will say, you love that word, sticky.

That's in the movie, too. But I worked at the magic pan, which was a creppery. And I wore a little French. I was 24. Not crappy. Not crappy. And that's beneath the new you. But anyway, it was, it was, yeah, I wore a little French durnal.

And, and I looked like a 24-year-old girl from Arkansas trying to live French. And we served all kinds of crepes, both savory and sweet. And you had to serve the creps with a smile of the crept pointing up. Do you understand what I mean by that? I do, but Hayes needs help. I think Hayes is having a shoe. Well, you just ate a whole red velvet cup cake. I think he's having a sugar rush.

We don't know what Kevin put in these. The, wait, the, the, the crepe has a face, like a man? No, nope, but the smile of it. And this was on the film at the end to watch. When you're telling the story next time. I'm telling you what was on the instructional. I think it would be helpful. He wants you to be able to tell the story again.

For your audience to say the crape doesn't have a face like a man. Because now I'm picturing that, like, the people who are listening are, like, thinking about this thing smiling at you. And if I could, Mary, maybe face like a person because I actually think women can have faces too. Wow. Yeah. Okay, so he wants women to smile. He thinks women should smile more. Would that be so bad?

I'm trying really hard. happy. That's why he got it. He does say this. That's why he got into comedy. It's that little curve. The curve of the grape. They called in our instructional film that you had to sit and watch in a little cubicle when you were hired,

it told you that the smile of the crape had to be up. And this is when I think that they were saying you needed to be taken down a peg is when you were watching the instructional film. and you went, I could do that. You're watching the movie and you go, that should be me. And then you go off and make a bunch of movies to like prove that you're better than the magic pan instructional video. That's what happened. And they freaking retired my locker, okay?

So I'm really, I'm really okay with the fact that before I truly entered the business, people were talking trash about me. Because I think I've redeemed myself in the, the last like 48 years or so except for maybe with that guy i can't see i'm pointing at hayes i know i can't see here you're pointing out is it possible that they retired the locker because you left something stinky in it like uh oh like extra sliced bananas or something like that that you had tried to steal from the magic pan you were sort of stashing them in your locker thinking you you could maybe flip them to somebody.

Statute of limitations. You could tell us now. Was there stinky bananas in the lager? There was not. You know what? I was so tired of eating there because I got $2.95 worth of free food every time, every shift I worked, that I couldn't look in a crib for like 20 years after that.

Wow. And everyone who smiles at you, you must be kind of thinking. Oh, great. Here comes a crape. You don't creep phrase you. Yeah. That's tough. Damn, crape head.

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I guess. Marsh Madness is here, and if you're trying to keep up with everything happening on and off the court, we've got you covered on the podcast, flagrant and funny. You look at the top four number one seeds. What do you think UCLA is going to do? Break down that for me, my friend. I do think UCLA has a really good chance of getting back to the final four. Obviously, Yukon is the overwhelming favorite in this tournament.

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that Ameriopa County as Laura Owens has been indicted on fraud charges. This isn't over until justice is served in Arizona. Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Now, when Aaron Chen was on the show, he talked a lot about being unhappy with the film that we did. And specifically that he thought that it was confusing. and that the pickleball should be changed to something else. I'm wondering if we break back into the edit, which it seems like we're probably going to do for that,

is there anything you would like to change? He said it should be shaped like an Australian football, which I only found it much later is a rock. Really? It's not even like a specific shape. They don't have a lot of the materials down there that we have. It's all different shapes. It's just rocks.

They're really nice, but they just don't have. have a lot of the stuff yet. Yeah. But is there anything if we're breaking in that you want to change? I think I did. I mean, I do think there's a mistaken film. And I already informed you of it.

And actually, I informed Josh of it. And if you guys don't change it, a lot of people are going to comment. We're going to be hearing about it. I mentioned it to Jake as well. And it seems like he doesn't think that. They're going to change it. And I think we are going to get some comments. And you know what I say?

At least they're talking about me. I think we all want to hear the mistake, don't we folks? Come on. Can we get some clap in the booth to hear the mistake in the movie? Yeah, these guys want to hear it. Everybody's excited about the mistake. I don't think legally. I'm not even sure we're allowed to talk about the mistake yet.

Well, you're the one that asked me the question. If you're asking me, am I unhappy about, Did I understand the movie? I feel like I understood it. And I felt pretty good about my pickleball prowess, even though I was kind of a beginner. So this is, I just want to go back to the press thing. I'm really starting to see what Jake was talking about. When people ask, when people ask, so I don't want to give you a line read.

Okay, Mary, I don't want to. I have to. say did you understand the movie i'm you this is you now all right so i'm going to say mary when i talk to hayes mary don't answer because i am allowing i am i am being you right now okay and they do ask this they do ask why are you guys talking to me like i'm worried why are you talking so down to me that you think i don't understand your little play play game i just really i'm trying to set you up for success here. Okay. Okay. So, all right. So I'm going to go now. I'm really, I'm really nervous. We all hear you, Sean. Everybody here's here.

Okay. Do you understand the. Okay. Okay. That actually went really well. Let's do it again. And that actually gets to a different note, which is Jake did mention what they Start to direct a question at you and you do press and they say, Mary, you always do say what? Just like that. A lot of times they up more. A lot of times they up more. Back foot a little bit. Mm-hmm.

I don't see the harm in it. It just, it just means I'm listening. It's a way of saying, yes, I'm on the edge of my seat. What are you going to ask me? Mm-hmm. Okay. Yes. It's an active listening trait.

He did say as the day went on it was a little more aggressive. that there was a little more of a what now you again and it would be like you know Mario Lopez or one of our treasured Mario Lopez entertainment

probably that's who someone skip Gates never I would never talk to the beautifully perfectly dimpled man in that rude way and I'm sure I never have go ahead ask the question I'll restrain myself a man

It got canceled. Did you know that, Mary? I'm so sorry to tell you this now. Did you know that Mario Lopez is no longer on the air doing Access Hollywood? No. No. I'm so sorry, Mary. Now this is literally the only way to access Hollywood.

How long ago? This podcast is now the only way to access Hollywood. I'm so sorry. All the other gates are locked. Jake said to tell you, while I was breaking news to you that you were going to do press, he said to tell you that Access Hollywood with Mary Lopez had no longer going to be. little sugar with your medicine because it's like, well, I'm not doing the press, but then also Mary Lopez wouldn't be there. And so do I really want to go? Hey, Hayes, hey, did you understand the movie?

Yes. Yes. Feel how confident? That's how you really let them know at home that you know what the movie is. Mm-hmm. Felt good here as well. Mary, you're you again. I'm still waiting for you to talk to Mary. That's what you said you were about to do. He didn't say Mary this time. I know. No. He got gunshot.

He got scared. Yeah. I got really scared. It's hot in here, Mary. I've been scared all day. It's, it's, it's, this is way hotter than it's been before. Why were you scared? Why were you scared?

Me? Was it, were you worried about interviewing me due to my legendary, Screen icon, Mary Steenvergeon? Yeah. Or were you more worried that you were going to have to let me know that all these years people have been talking trash about me and that you're the one they had to tell me. That part I was excited about, just because I love having a secret. Is there anything better?

It's the currency of this industry. You can tell you. We like to gossip, don't we, Mary? Come on. We're nice, but we gossip a little bit. I'm learning so much. I'm starting to feel bad about the fact that when I said a bad word in front of one of your children. And I instantly wanted to put it back in my mouth. It was just a

like unconscious moment. And I have worried about it and felt bad about it ever since then. And as of today, one good thing about today is I feel I can let that go. What did you say? Venus? No. What was it? but i'm not going to no i'm not going to say it just in case one of his kids is listening to this podcast they don't know about this highly unlikely yeah yeah they'd be the only ones right where do they think you go every day where do they think you go every day they don't even ask

they don't even ask wow but you go out there and shoot the hoops with your son isn't he curious about your life yeah I mean, I may as well be a, you know, tackling dummy out there for all he's concerned. He's not very good at basketball. Well, your son's pretty good. I mean, he's trying to tackle guys. Yeah. Sean may as well be a tackling dummy out there.

No, it's true. For as far as he's concerned. The son appears to know about different sports, but he seems to be playing them all at once. And suddenly he's got different pieces of equipment on. Got a glove on. He's got a skis. date. No, it's concerning, but it's, so it's like, it's hard to even get in anything about the

podcast at that point. Explaining a podcast to a little kid is not something I would wish on basically my worst enemy, you know? Right. I get that. It's like the radio. What? How, what's that?

He doesn't, like, use bad words and then say that lady on that pickleball movie. is the one that taught me that word. He doesn't do that. Well, he'd say the lady from finding your roots. He's a, he's a big finding your roots. He'd say, Skip's friend. Really? Interesting.

He'd say, that lady that Dr. Skip was talking to taught me that word. Yeah. Okay. I feel better about that strangely. Since so much about the dink is now falling away from me. It's been somewhat tainted. I'm not, I'm not going to be promoting it. I've been replaced by you guys.

Aaron Chen, who I thought I had a real rapport with him really liked, talk trash about it and didn't even understand it. He said actually, and I was trying to soft, paddle it to you a little bit, Mary. He actually said that you and your character should be replaced with him. Australian was football. Yeah, Australian was football. which would be like now there's a rock in the movie and it's just like you know

which when I by the way when I heard that I said probably not Aaron because I'm not you know I'm not just going to roll over for everything that he says like yeah he said Aaron

that's strike one yeah he said that I said we're probably not going to do that you hear me probably I said unlikely at best. I had a pretty big part in the movie.

It's going to be pretty expensive for you guys to go back here. I brought that up the cost. And I said that. I said that. I said, yeah, financially it's not even viable, even if we wanted to, which I don't. And this Rock's lawyer is really, really got him over a barrel. The Rock has been. it's not even the rock it's all rock

it's all yeah well if it was the rock I would at least understand it a little bit better that's interesting to think that's interesting to picture if the movie was exactly the same but the rock was doing your role that's interesting to picture

I don't think it's a better movie but it would get some attention that's easier too for a super like superimposing him over you like he's bigger than you I hope that's okay to say. That's pretty much the only thing you notice as a difference. Okay.

All right. Now we've got to go. Okay. Well, I mean, I guess it's time. Kevin, if you want to play the music for this segment, this is differences between Mary's Team Virgin and the Rock. So we're going to go, everybody's going to go through their top five differences between Mary's Team Virgin and the rock.

Bigger is off the board. He is bigger. He uses the people's elbow. You use the people's chin. That's your special move. Your tattoos are scarier. You, he says, he calls people jabroney's. You say the word but to kids.

Yeah, I say butt in front of kids. He played for the University of Miami. You didn't go to college. except for one year. Okay, perfect. He had a sitcom called... You put my hair me in the crapes. He had a sitcom called Young Rock.

You, of course, grew up near Little Rock. I find that charming, actually. I don't know what the big problem. I think it would replace me for that. Nobody's the end. Yeah, no one's saying it's not charming. We're saying it works great. Yeah.

By the way, I'm from North Little Rock, just for those of you in Arkansas. or listening or watching. Okay, so he said near Little Rock, and you're saying that North Little Rock is actually really far away. It's important. It's important to people because the people in Little Rock think they're better than the people in North Little Rock.

So I always make sure I say I'm from North Little Rock because I'm proud of it. Okay. Yeah. My dad was a train conductor. The tracks were in North Little Rock, so that's where we live. What was on the train? You lived on the tracks?

No. People talk about living on the wrong side of the tracks. Mm-hmm. But being on the side is so much better. Yeah. I lived on the right side. Yeah. It was definitely on the side.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Just being above the tracks is so good, you know? We had a thing where we could go anywhere in the United States for free. and we used it by going back and forth from North Little Rock to Newport, Arkansas. That's where we went. Because the whole world is your oyster at that point, you know? Yeah, yeah.

And I knew someday I was going to break out and go to the big city, and I did. But we're not talking about any of that stuff. Well, what's been your favorite part of the podcast so far? Yeah, what's been your favorite part so far? I think what I feel, since we're talked a little bit of that age, I feel kind of proud of myself because I feel like at a certain point in my life, if I heard that I was pretty much being replaced in a movie, I really love doing by a great, big, handsome man.

We couldn't get him. I just want to make clear. It is a rock. It's not the rock. No, but just still. That I was going to be replaced by a rock. Yeah. By a rock.

A handsome rock. Then and that I was not going to be doing the press. And in fact, the writer and his friend who didn't. His friend was not really involved. But the vibes were. doing my press. If I had heard this when I was younger, I think I was more insecure

and I think it would have probably sent me to bed. That could have felt negative at certain points in your life. I think it would have. But you know what? Can I just interrupt you before you finish? Just before you finish,

please do not say whatever word you said in front of Sean's kid. I can tell that you're gearing up. It feels. We want to clip. We want to be able to clip this. The what's your favorite part of the show thing is like usually our clip? Well, if you ever, if you ever have chance to watch the movie's stepbrothers,

you'll definitely hear the word come out of my mouth. But I'm just going to say that I feel fine. It's not stepbrothers. No. Pretty good guess, though. Well, I mean, they got it. must say that in the movie or else well they say it in the movie

step brothers not the word it's not a word that you would have said don't say that in front of my son um the idea of step brothers i mean i don't know i don't really want my son being well having to explain stepbrothers to my kids and now it's like they're like am i a stepbrother when can i have a stepbrother

like you know why why why won't you and mom go get us some stepbrothers already and like it just becomes like this whole thing. And we're back into the purple world with Hayes's Mike. Yeah. Now mom's got the idea. She goes, I'm,

I'm mind bringing in a stepbrother. You know what I mean? And a stepdad as well. Now I'm pushed out of the picture. I'm squeezed out. I'm being replaced by, you know what I feel right now. You know what I mean?

Getting Steenbergh. Okay. Okay. I hope you can handle it with the grace. Yeah, I'm getting the full Peter Steenberghant. I know. I hope you handle it with the grace I'm handling it with right now, finding it out on international

radio slash TV slash podcast that all this has happened to me and I'm dealing with it. I'm just rolling with it. Mary, cheeseburger choice. Like a good rock wood. Cheeseburger choice. Go. Cheeseburger choice. Go. Oh.

Cheeseburger choice. What do you mean? Bye. You know, Roll doll. He thought up Willie Wonka and the BFG. But does you know he was a spy? In the new podcast, The Secret World of Rolled Doll, I'll tell you that story, and much, much more. What?

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