Hollywood Handbook - Meg Stalter, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: February 25, 2020

MEG STALTER teaches The Boys how to do comedy videos.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. And putting everything in the pan and the pot's boiling. And we're using that for hamburgers too. Egg, buns, grass, patty. New hamburger. Exactly. New hamburger. And is this how my sound is supposed to be doing? Is it?

What do you want it to do? I got it. I did it myself. I did it myself. I did it myself. And I'm in the kitchen. And the kitchen's hot as hell too. And we're hot boxing it with hamburger juice and smoke. And it's me.

It's Morgan. Ah, yes. Morgan, Morgan, Morgan. And, uh,

so many things like so many like stories coming to mind. Of course. And please feel free to tell them all. Morgan Grinder. Morgan Grinder. Morgan Grinder, yes. Morgan Grinder, famous performer.

And also the grinding skills came in handy for grinding up the eggs. And grinding the grass. His hand is always doing that. Yes. And so you just put him in front of the meat grinder and put eggs in and make it a bun and make grass the patty you know and spices yeah i mean i don't obviously it's a proprietary spice bun spice bun egg garnish grass patty new burger two. And so we do this all the time.

And actually, we have a guest. Do you want to talk to her? Do you want to keep talking about this? Well, do you have another hamburger idea? Well, this was what was so fun about working with Morgan. Here's what I think could be weird. We introduce our guest, and then suddenly you have another hamburger idea. If I come up with one then.

Do you want to give me, and excuse me, so sorry, but obviously it's for the best for the show. Do you want to give me a couple of minutes to just think? Quiet? Minutes? Completely silent. And I will decide on, is this a burger? Yeah, sure.

Okay. No way. No, no, no. Hmm, that could work. What? Never mind. Burger, burger. Come on, burger. Burger, think about it. never mind burger burger come on burger

think about it no stupid stupid idiot that's not a burger I have it the counter is the bug hey welcome to Hollywood Handbook an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping memes

in Hollywood I'm so excited to welcome Megan who can I just say how respectful you are because so many people come on the show and we are actually trying to have a nice conversation and then it's like and sometimes we need a few minutes

it's the me show but you you two I'm gonna be honest with you. Y'all are speaking a different language. Y'all are speaking a different language to me because I've been saying, I would have interrupted by going, okay, burger. We're not at Wendy's. Yeah, so that's really interesting. That's really interesting. Let's talk about that.

Of what I often hear, which is, sir, this is a Wendy's. Well, you know, I'm going, I don't see fries, I don't see's. Well, you know, I'm going out to see fries. I don't see a shake. To be honest, I'm a little pissed right now. Because I thought I was coming into it. Speak on that. When people are saying this is an idea for a hamburger, usually it's true. You are at Wendy's.

You're at Wendy's. Nine times out of ten, you're at Wendy's. I'm not wondering about, you didn't see me coming in, oh, pizza. Yeah. No, it's true. No, you did, but you did say that. You said that, yeah. It's a weird example because you did say that. You said that, but I couldn't see you. You were ducked down behind the counter.

You were yelling at me right away. Basically strapped me in a chair and said, welcome to hell. This is so interesting. I really was really wanting to talk about the two white devils. Okay. First of all, we're not the two white devils. Well, hang on. Okay. First of all, we're not the two white devils. We are a white devils.

Couple of menaces. And maybe some, and we can maybe reset because maybe you had bottled up. Maybe you had used some of your being respectful. I thought this was going to be a movie set or something. Hollywoodwood handbook that's okay that's okay i thought that was a new and and ultimately we thought it was going to be two but here we are in year six or seven and it has remained a you know engineer brett's netflix hasn't asked about it netflix hasn't asked about it um we've heard from people who have asked them. We haven't

talked to them. No. We don't have a direct line to them, which is how it's supposed to work. That's how it's supposed to work. I got them on speed dial. I'm not kidding you. You know how Sprint makes you pick one number that you can call right away? Your direct connect?

Yeah, that's mine. Goes to Netflix? And they call me all the time. Oh God, we got to get you in the studio. Wow. And it's a studio. I guess, yeah. They have to get you in the studio. And what are you doing when you get in there?

Well, they test shots of different, oh, you know, I go there. Oh, let's do a test shot. Have you looked at a shot list? A shot list, mm-hmm. Have you seen a shot list yet? Oh, yeah, 42. And then they'll go, well, let's do a couple more.

And I go, well, I've got a lunch meeting, for God's sake, I've got to get out of here. And they did a storyboard about you? Mm-hmm. Mm. Oh. What happened? And they're drawing you? Well, they've been drawing me for a long time.

More before I even became a performer, they've been drawing me. I actually walked in, there's pictures of me all over in that Flixbill studio. I said, well, I didn't know how you knew what I was like. That's got to be disturbing. Well, I don't know about that. It's flattering, but it's also got to be a little bit disconcerting. Well, you don't know the other pictures that are up there, do you, dud? Do you, dude?

And mine is Dud. I know one of the other pictures that's up there. What is it? It's Kurt Russell as Santa. He's being Santa in the Santa Man Chronicles. Blown up big. It's huge as hell. It's honestly too big.

So you've been into the Netflix. I've been outside. So you're alive now. It's a new golf course. Netflix lobbies, new golf course. It's where you have contacts. It's where you make relationships. Networking, honey.

That's what my tattoo says on my ass. Networking. I've been outside and I'm allowed to be outside And I was there and actually I have worked with Netflix I don't always talk about it but I was The backup Boom operator for the video

Where Jerry from Cheer had to mat talk The Netflix employees as they came to work Well I heard a big rumor You weren't Yes So you were just about to say That you heard a big rumor you were yes so you were just so you were just about to say that you heard that he wasn't a big rumor you weren't allowed outside he just told you what happened at it so how would how would i have known that i don't know i can't jerry from cheer was matt

talking to netflix employees as they arrived to work and they're getting into the building and i am actually having flat stan Stanley surgery so I am able to those plastic barriers that come out when you are trying to get into the main part of the Netflix building, I will be able to go sideways and pass through them without even touching them.

Well, that's something I've been trying to work out doing that too. Flat Stanley surgery? It's easy. It's easy to do told me I was. It's easy to do. It's just like, it's a long wait list. Well, yeah.

I've been on it since August 42. August of 42. And they keep, I don't want to talk about it. To be honest, I told you guys. Well, you brought it up. Hello, I'm waving at you. I told you to tell them not to bring that up. Guys. What else did you talk about

yeah what's on this I see you have a huge notebook I have a lot of stuff I don't want to talk about and we never he never passes any of this along it's always just like

here's this really no here's doing this today every single day is this he's a yeah here you go ask for forgiveness not for permission

well I don't want to talk about into the shark pit see what happens is this. Here you go. Ask for forgiveness, not for permission. It's tattooed on Kevin's belly. Into the shark pit. See what happens. I don't want to talk about SNL. That's for sure. That was going to be our whole entire idea. Not oral sex. Just SNL. We were not going to talk about the other stuff. Forgot your chum t-shirt as I put you in the shark pit,

Kevin says. We're going to talk about SNL. You have to. Well, okay, fine. That's what I really want to be doing. And I'm going to do something... We're funny as hell. Get on SNL. There's a lot of characters I want to do. The sleepy

tollbooth worker. The barista that spills things. I'm trying to get up there. I don't want to talk about it, though. Imagine the sound they would do. So, really, the most important thing when the sketch begins for Sleepy Tollbooth Worker they do like a

it's a funny sketch the sound would be like and then you would be saying goodbye to somebody before they show up and what's that it's kind of like and then you're already sleeping I actually can't do it before they showed up and what's that? Well, it's kind of like, oh, goodbye. And then you're already sleeping.

I actually can't do it because I'll start getting the giggles. That's okay though. Yeah. That's okay. No, that's what Fallon made a whole career out of that.

That I could see being a movie like Night at the Roxbury. Sleepy Tollbooth? Yeah. Yeah. Or you can. I'm, yeah,

I can see it. Why is that little, hmm hmm the little hmm in your voice because i think i could see it being a movie but not with you yeah that's what i got from it i don't want to are you allowed to curse on this podcast dude like absolutely we say some of the garciest shit okay well you're being a rat yeah sure sure Okay so like you are allowed to curse for sure But not like in a way that is Not negative at me Yeah that is like antagonizing people

I feel like you'd be good at being a brat then Thank you I accept the compliment on my acting So Megan it's so interesting That you said that you thought that this was a movie Or TV show because that's also what I thought you were doing as well. But it actually turns out that that is not a movie or a TV show.

I have a movie coming out. Okay, but that's not what I'm talking about. The stuff that actually exists that I have seen. I have a movie out. Okay, describe the movie. Let's talk about that for one second and then we move on to the thing that we actually do want to talk about today okay so the movie of the show it's called um everybody loves it kid don't you think and it's kind of about this woman who is having a relationship

with her husband but she's not and you know what that's like. So she got, well, then it's, and it takes place in Portland and all the way in Nebraska. And she has, oh God. And this is a Blumhouse film. It's Bloomberg's Blumhouse. Yes. So you've heard of it. Was there a K in the title? Well, it's, well, God, you two don't listen, do you?

No, I actually think I'm listening very closely, and I thought you just said a K. It's called... Oh, God. Do you even think about it? It's completely different than the original title. Well, no, it's not. It's called You Gotta Be Kidding Me.

They're Here at Dinner. That's the movie title. They're Here at Dinner? You know. It's one of those big posters. There's a bunch of stuff on it. I can't always remember what all the words are. Yes, I've noticed this.

Which part is the title? These posters. Which are the guys? Sometimes it's the same. They're a scourge. The pictures of me. You know how you've ever seen somebody really hot sitting on the back of a chair like they're about to do a striptease? Oh, yeah.

It's sort of that. So you will podcast. But imagine me straddling a chair and looking kind of backwards at the chair. Well, I'm looking back at the camera going, you don't know. You don't know. There's a lot more stuff on there, too. And then there's a lot of words and different different background colors. Anybody else?

Any other people? There's a couple of people in the background. Who are we thinking? Who are we bringing in for this? So basically, well, they've already done it, but there's a... Have you ever seen those posters? There's a door and there's three heads sticking out.

So that's behind me, and there's three little heads sticking out. And there are different heads and different people involved. And then I'm straddling the chair, and it's kind of like, well, the title of the movie is Guess What's Happening. And the people are a secret? Who are the people?

Just sort of backgrounds. I'm the main girl and then there's sort of background people in it that could be my kids or partners. But what are they? They're people I work with. They could be your kids or your partners. Different posters. I can't remember everybody.

Collecting collectors. You collect the different ones? Is that what you're saying? Collect them all. It's like McDonald's and Monopoly. And that's people talking about this now because of something? I don't know. Yes.

No, it's true. And it's funny because when we were talking about Wendy's earlier, and I was thinking, what about McDonald's? Something's happening with that. Something bad is? Yes. I smashed another thing. What is wrong with you today?

I collected all these shells on the way over here. We have this guest who we just found out was in a movie. Just found out? Well, yeah. Yeah. I certainly didn't know the title before. So you don't look up your guest stuff before they come in.

Well, this is the thing. Kevin is always like... It's secret. Today, just come in and then like, the door opens and here it is. Today, you're doing this. So you don't know about my book, then?

My book series. No series and for one second please we have an idea for a show get the book get that done so we can move on Brett cut out the book stuff afterwards you're going to want to keep the book stuff I think

we'll keep one part of it. You got one minute, so wow me. Well, it's basically a series of encyclopedias, but there are more storybooks in between, and it's called What Have I Been Thinking About? In between? So the title is What Have I Been Thinking About, Walt, but during my day. What is in between? What are the stories in between? So the title is, What Have I Been Thinking About, Walt? But during my day. What is in between? What are the stories in between?

So it will come up with a word. Everybody's having a waterfall fight. Which word? What's the word? This is just like an idea. Everybody. This is of everybody. So in the encyclopedia entry,

it says the word everybody, and then it says, is having a waterfall fight. Having a waterfall fight. It's like an example of how to use that word in a sentence. Oh, okay. Yeah, okay. But then it's a story. All right.

And then it turns into a story, which everything should. No. Yes, okay. Well, in a way, it does, whether you like it or not. We're surrounded by stories. Oh, so you read my second book, like it or not. It's not that I read it. This book is coming out, the encyclopedia, but this is

what you're referring to now as your second book. Called Like It or Not, Shakespeare. Do you? Yeah. And then there's a question, do you like it? And it's kind of my discussion about whether or not I do. Wow. I don't. On Shakespeare, no. There's a twist, though. There's a twist though.

Sneak peek? Yeah, any particular criticism you want to hit us with about it? I think it's hard to read it. It's fucked up. The way they talk is insane. It's stupid. What? The what? Just say it. The way they say some shit,

I'll be like, what the fuck are they saying? Oh, they're saying they want to get it on. I'll be like, say it that way. It's like, say it, don't spray it, right? No, and it's true, and they're spraying it, and Shakespeare sprayed it. It should be called Sprakespear. And I'll look at it and be like, this is short, and then I'll be ready to be like, it's kind of not, in a way.

No! It's actually kind of very long. Because they're, yes, they're going around. But it is short. It looks short, you're going around. But it is short. It looks short. You're right. But it's long as hell. We should need to write our book together. When we're finally connecting and maybe we can even do our idea.

Yeah. Which is that we actually have questions. What's your idea? I need to know. Finally, I'm going to go. Tell me. I'll sit back and listen. We want to do.

So we always talk about what people are most famous for and what everyone is like talking about. Like you are this person. Everyone is like Megan. Yeah. And so like you got to look at this. And you do these videos. Thank you. Yeah.

Yeah. So these videos, let's talk about it okay what the fuck is going on because my camera just don't do that yeah mine doesn't either but yours does it is showing you correct showing you totally but so i go that's fine i'm as funny as this Watch this You're saying that when you're watching my videos I'm as fine as this I'm as funny He is really funny He can do some really funny stuff

I don't do it on the show We can definitely be really serious We can be serious on the shows about being serious And when there's a big event Like a really sad thing that happens in America Then we will help sort of navigate people through that. You two said some weird stuff outside today. It was, well, like sometimes.

Well, but was it weird or was it actually good? You guys were being really making me feel invaded. Not in a bad, just in an emotional way. Because you guys were like, you guys were crying. You're like, what's happened? What's been happening with you that's sad? Right. Remember?

When you had an emotional moat around you, didn't you? And we kind of formed a drawbridge with our questions. No, no, no. I was the drawbridge. You were the little moats. You were the little waterfalls. And it needed to feel that way for you to open up. And Hayes was the knight.

And I was maybe actually like smelling that. I was the knight who's the king. I don't know about this. Oh yes, I was a peasant who was chosen to become a knight and realized he was actually secretly the king. And I was a beautiful court jester that was dancing,

dancing, dancing. Oh, and I was dilly dilly. So, And I was a little frog playing the piano outside that didn't know if I should be playing my song. We're getting slightly off topic. So I watch your shit and I go, I could be as funny as this shit. Watch this. And I go to do the video and it kills my arm and i get actually very sick because i'm

trying to spin around to get in front of the camera and every time i move the camera moves as well and i can't see me i'm and it's ruining a lot of my jokes. And I'm finding that my hand, first of all, doesn't go like that at all. Yeah. No shit. I can use my other hand to make it go like that. But then you cover it. But now that one, yes. Then you're covering it.

And you can't see anything. If your hand, I guess if you wanted to do a hand show. Yeah. Then that would be easy. Send your wences or something. And then okay but other than that you're basically fucked and so i'm going yeah what the hell can you help well did you take well god this is a little bit of a okay should i ask this? Should I even tell them the secret? But have you guys even taken Dr. David's class? Or no?

So I enrolled in the class. Yeah. I couldn't get there. So have you seen these, like— What do you mean you couldn't get there? Well, two scooters broke. It's in a really high place. Yeah.

But that's why they call it Heaven's Building. Heaven's Gates. It's really high up in a really high place. Yeah. But that's why they call it Heaven's Building. Heaven's Gates. It's really high up in a building. Maybe you couldn't find the elevator. It was not only that, to even get to the building. I could see it because it's so tall. I could see it from where I was. It's right next to this building.

But the more I traveled, the further away it became. So for me, something about the name has kind of turned me off because historically my relationship with doctors is that they kind of have to come to me and they have done that but like dr david will go to your house he's been over mine i know but it's not but then like i'm calling him and being like come over like in general yeah my relationship with doctors is they're like coming and getting me they're seeking him out so a lot of times

he'll get cold called just by a doctor who's like is it cool if I swing by later or even sometimes no one's calling me or like someone else

is calling and now the doctor and now the doctor's here it is kind of weird the doorbell will ring and he'll answer and the person will go hey I'm a doctor

and they'll just come in what are they doing to you they're picking me up a lot of times and taking me to these other buildings. Yeah. You know? This is what you're talking about. No, it's true. I find that when I've been over and the doctors have come, they're kind of bending me around.

Oh, yeah. Doctors never seen my house. I don't know what you two little rascals are talking about. If a doctor came to my house, I'd go, hands up. Hands up, you're not coming in here. To them, you're saying hands up. Hands up. And your hands are up when you say this.

You're telling them to put their hands up? Mirror exercise. My hands are tied. You can't come in here. This is an interesting question, too. This is a mirror? This thing that you're doing? The video?

Yes. The video's a mirror? No, you need to take Dr. David's class because he will show you exactly how your phone works, whether it's an Android, whether it's an iPhone. Just do a little part of it, of the class. Okay. Well, first of all— And we had someone really famous come in here recently and do a class.

So for you to be like— Who is the— The guy that hasn't come out yet. It's not out yet, but he's famous. Dr. Doolittle? Who was it? Dr. Doolittle?

Dr. Doolittle. No. Did you guys get Dennis the Menace in here? No, it actually wasn't. Who was it? Dennis the Menace? No, it wasn't actually

Dennis the Menace. You know what? No, it wasn't Dennis the Menace. Well, it sounds like this place seems like Pranksville. I thought it was

coming in here. Who are you, Mr. Wilson? What did you have? Did Dennis the Menace coming in here. Who are you, Mr. Wilson? Who'd you have to do this? Come in here and play a prank. So famous. Oh, I've watched your shit. That's what you said to me. I watched your shit.

And then you want me to help you too. Lead you to the pastor of finer water? After y'all... Y'all want me to lead you to the pastor of finer water? No, that movie I did see. Well, good, because nobody else did. That was the worst one. Hollywood Handbook.

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What does it mean when you drop someone off after a nice date and they turn around at the door and they take their little index finger and they kind of like draw it towards them? They're pulling it. What does that mean? Does their finger hurt? I wonder if they spotted a spider web or something they're trying to pull down the spider down yeah but i've seen this too

after a lot of dates and i need i need and have needed something like babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks like a it looks like an emergency i know i'm supposed to do something or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like almost like police clothes on it may be almost yeah and they're standing in the middle and as i'm driving and i'm cruising they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost and they're really aggressively like pushing it out i'm like am i supposed to drive get out of the car yes or just do it out the window as i'm going that's what i've been doing dangerous yeah but some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners, I'm sure.

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What's the first part? Basically, the first thing he says to us when I walk in the door is phones in a bowl. He takes the phones away from us. He goes, take the phones away from us. And whoever's phone you pick up, you go home with them. Oh, God. You don't want to hear how the class goes, do you? No, I absolutely do.

I'm so on fire right now. Am I not allowed to guess? If you're going to guess, you can't get to step 12, which, yeah, we do that. That's step 12, honey. Step one's phone's in a bowl. They say you don't need to be near your phone for six days. This is a 12-step program class? Yes.

On phone videos? They say you cannot. And then what happened is we all started fighting him. Why are you taking our phones? Why are you taking our phones? We want to make videos. What he does is he pushes your head up against the wall. The head hits the back wall.

Wow. And all of a sudden you go, okay. And then we did better. It hits my back wall. Phones in a bowl. He hits my back walls. Yeah. Phones and a ball. He says, you can't be filming. And then he goes, you can't be filming yourself unless you know yourself.

And then it all hits you. Then you get a snack. That's fucking me up. Wow. I'm majorly in my feelings right now. I'll let you have a minute to take it in. I am way in my feelings. I'll let you have a minute to take it in. You thought you were getting guessed the steps, honey.

You cannot guess what happens in Dr. David's class. So he hurt you? Well, he didn't really hurt me, but I mean... It hurt a little bit. It hurts your ego yeah get ready if you go in the class your ego is going to be messed up and then no phone so what kinds of things are you doing a show to do a front-facing comedy video you're moving yes movement exercise okay you're crying you're you're saying your deepest fears your greatest joys yeah you're

talking and what are these he goes if you're gonna talk for you oh is this what this is about i didn't think he was gonna do this is this what this is about well it seems weird to be like okay we're talking about this okay we're talking about my kids two years. That's what y'all wanted to talk about. Okay. And now I do. This is not a joke. This is not a joke, but just like, and now which one of those is it that your deepest fears are greatest joys? Because when we're talking about something like Dennis the Menace, kids can be a handful.

No, it's true. If your kids are Dennis the Menace and you lose custody of Dennis the Menace, you're maybe saying like, okay, finally a little peace and quieter on here. And also he's coming back. Yeah. It's really like not like him at all to respect something like the court's decision of who he should live with. To be honest, that is not either of them. That's just something I thought y'all were fishing to talk about.

But my greatest joy. Seems like you wanted to talk about it. Every time I feel like he's my friend. How loud you said it. He punches me right in the gut again. My greatest joy is dressing. Are you talking about him? Mm-hmm.

Sean? I can't remember y'all's names. Okay? Is that Sean? Neither can we. That's Sean. Is that Sean? Who are you?

Dennis? I'm the Haze Man. My greatest joy in life is dressing for the day. And my worst fear is That's really nice Wearing the wrong outfit Walking in, not feeling like yourself And I know your name, Sean

Okay, and I know you God help us And I know you as well So you get into the class He just explains What you two need to know You need to lose the toods He tells you you need, he just explains what you need to know. You need to lose the toods, dudes, before you start filming yourself. He says if you're talking to a facing camera, you're talking to the world.

Yeah. You don't know who's all going to hear it. Okay. Some of the, so when I'm watching it, when I'm watching this, what do you want me to call it? Oh, what are you going to do? Raz me again? No, no, no, no. You don't like. Little clip.

For me, it's like vernacular or whatever to go like when I'm watching that shit. Like, I actually think it makes it sound like it's cool. Does shit good to you? You like pooping around? But I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that anymore. No, I don't like pooping around. You like pooping around.

I love to go pooping. I like it. I have bathrooms. That's me? Yeah. I like trash cans. That's to go pooping. I like it. I bathrooms. That's me? Yeah. I like trash cans. That's me? Absolutely not. I'll tolerate a lot on this show.

I actually love getting the short end of the stick on a little bit of like chop busting. But there's a limit. There has to be. And he can actually not do it for a really long time interesting and so if you're gonna say that to anybody that he likes doing that he can actually do go for a very long time and not do that months you can't see him right now but he's

scrunching up his fist about to punch something hope it's not me absolute day mom no no this about to punch something. Hope it's not me. Absolute demon, no. No. That's not happening on my show. Good, thank God. An impression of me saying I love to poop around. Hey, hey. Put some fart sound effects in this. Put some fart sound effects.

That's what you're being like. And that was, he did not say that, Brett. I like it, honey. Make sure it doesn't sound like that's my voice. That's what you're being like. And that was, he did not say that, Brett. I like it, honey. Make sure it doesn't sound like that's my voice. That was the guest. I'm Sean. Megan's poopy and I like her. Oh yeah, if you're Sean. So desperate. Then tell

me something only Sean would know. Oh God, I'm a little weasel. I'm a little weasel. I like it. You know? Well, what I wanted to ask, at any rate, when I'm watching your precious jewels. Oh, here we go.

Here we go. We're there. When I'm watching it, something is happening in it where it's like skipping or it's like doing over it's like going there's a piece and it's still happening the same but there's like a oh it's like blinking at me my god i know what this is you two are trying to get my editing skills. That's what's happening for free? No thanks. That's what you want. Oh god.

I'm mad. Somebody get me a smoothie. When I'm doing it, because when I've tried to do it like even when I had Hayes try to film one for me. I just want to notice that Kevin is just sitting there. Isn't that so like the weirdest thing? To hear something like that and be like okay. But also just to be sitting there. Isn't that so, like the weirdest thing is just like to hear something like that

and be like, okay, but also just to be just sitting there. I'd like a berry smoothie with a little peanut butter, but I don't want it to taste like it.

Go, go. When I'm doing just sitting there. is for nutrition. Not to taste it. It's just for taste. Because I need protein to get through

hell on earth. I thought this, today, I thought I was going to First of all A movie set Hollywood handbook Second of all

I thought that when I came here I was winning a prize And it was going to be One day in heaven But I'm looking at Well you know what you are I thought it was a movie set It sounds like a book

Book's in the title Hollywood handbook Yeah I should have What about that movie Little Black Book Ashton Kutcher With the Britney Britney Murphy And she's going What about that movie Little Black Book? Ashton Kutcher? Brittany Brittany Murphy

And she's going That's what I thought this would be about All the guys in Hollywood That I've been having That's what it was, the Little Black Book And What's Your Number was like that too What's Your Number, Anna Faris Yeah, and she doesn't want her number to go up

It would be too high. What's my number? Well, you'll never find out. Unless you find the tattoo on my ankle. So it must change. It's a series of dash marks. Oh, yeah. Like counting days in a prison cell.

So, God, I'll help you guys. I'm sorry. No, it's fine. I was just saying, when Hayes tried to film film mine, sometimes I'm on a roll, and then I go, uh-oh, I better start over. But there's no way. Right. There's no way to do that.

And then also, then we'll be looking at it, and it's me laughing. Really? That has happened more than once. Well, here's the thing. Number one, I don't just film myself in one minute like y'all are doing. I film myself for 64 hours and then I just pick out what's the best thing. The funny, the most primo stuff.

That's number one thing you're doing wrong. I'm sorry I've been yelling at you. I'm sorry that y'all pissed me the hell off. And now I'm ready to help you. It doesn't sound like a real apology to me. Yeah, the tone of it is actually sounding just as pissed as the pissed off part did. No, I'm not mad at you.

And I'm going to forgive you for what you've been doing to me. Okay. Well, for my part, I would like to apologize. And I would just like to say there's plenty of room for everyone to be doing this business. Yes. And if everyone is successful, then everyone is having a good time and we don't have to be saying, okay,

this is now. Yes. Which you two have been doing so far. This is my show. This is my building. When I walked in and they looked at me and said, you better not get too comfortable in here. Little girl,

you're going to be going before noon. And so I actually think that is good advice. Well, first, actually, what happened is when we walked in, you were hiding behind the counter and you went, ooh, pizza. That was the first thing that happened. Because I found something.

And then later you said that you didn't say that. Well, I found something. But I wasn't saying, what kind of burger should I get today? I don't know. Lettuce and tomato? I wasn't saying that. I wasn't saying let's talk about it. I'm going to give you some free advice.

Good, because I didn't bring my checkbook. Well, you should always have your checkbook. So that's two pieces of advice. So you thought you were going to a Wendy's and you didn't bring your checkbook? No, I thought I was going to a movie set. Then when I got here, y'all were basically jizzing over Wendy's talk.

So you get to the front of the line at Wendy's. They are making your food, by the way. These people start making it before they have payment in hand. Do you think that? That they're making it all day? Or do you think... Yes. Do you think they're making it all day?

Yes. For real? Yeah, that actually is what I think. Yeah. They're cooking it. There is no way in hell they're cooking food all day. That would be getting old. No way.

They're getting the food out of the fridge. What the fuck? What? Sorry, but... Brett's got to get in here. I got to step in here. And Brett's been exquisitely patient. And this is why I said, please don't get too comfortable.

Hey, who is that? Little girl, which, okay. Yes, the third white devil. Okay, Brett. Coming for your justice. Okay, a couple of things. First of all, this is what I was worrying about, about getting too comfortable. Second of all, you are part of a group.

No, you're at best a junior demon in training. Well, welcome to the big show. I get to carry a trident. You can have a cocktail fork. Engineer Brett, do... So let's do Dr. David's class. Yeah. And it's Engineer Brett Do So let's do Dr. David's class And it's Engineer Brett I just want to say Wendy's is hot every time

It didn't just come out of the fridge Oh I thought you were on my side The thing about Wendy's is that it is never frozen It is always very hot You're steaming me right now You think a burger is sitting on the stove all day And then somebody comes in and, no. I'm not the one who didn't bring my checkbook to buy it.

You write them a big fat check with a tip. Well, I'm learning a lot then. I often leave it blank because I trust them. I leave the number blank. I sign it. I go, you tell me what's fair. Well, they'll say $6. You can't write that in.

Well, what I say is like, go ahead and give yourself a nice tip. So this is a community. Maybe you can help me with this too because sometimes I will. 15 percenters. Right. In the two part. You suggest what they should tip themselves. I give them a little bit of a guideline.

15 or whatever. Just so they don't go nuts. So you're picking the lower end. You're not going 20. Is that what? Speechless. He're not going 20. Is that what? Speechless. He's speechless. Okay.

And if you actually watch this show, you would not be making fun of that. If you actually watch that show. If you had seen an episode of Speechless, you would know that's not actually something that we ridicule. I've never seen that. Yeah. That's pretty obvious. That's one of the most obvious things that I've ever even heard about. I've never seen that. Yeah, to me, that's exactly one of the most obvious things that I've ever even heard about.

Wait, I've never seen that. I don't have a TV. I've never seen any show. And actually, everyone already knew that. That's my famous trait on the show. I don't have a TV. I'm sorry. Yeah, seats taken.

And have several seats, except this one is taken. Yeah. I'm way in my feelings. What have you been thinking about this, producer? Now she wants to talk to Brad. What have you been thinking about this? Have you been thinking they're bullying her? He's not a producer. Please do not. Thinking about what?

Well, you've been thinking that they have been hurting me, or have you been trying to... Have you wanted to jump in and strangle these two, or have you been going, she doesn't shut up? Which one? Well, it's tough because I like seeing them ganged up on. But then some of it has been...

Over the line. Way over the line. Which part? Some of it has been a little bit stepping on my toes and you haven't thought about it because I like pooping around. Oh, God. Or that's what I like to say. This is definitely a boys club. And I like waterfall fights. So Brett just clarified that he likes pooping around. Oh, God. Or that's what I like to say. This is definitely a boys club. And I like waterfall fights. So Brett just clarified

that he likes pooping around, but actually it's just what he likes to say. He is faking it. But then Sean wouldn't say it, but he was protecting me a little bit by getting mad. That's what made me so upset.

I know we act kind of crazy sometimes on the show but I actually do love my friends and Brett's probably my best friend. Do you guys feel bad

he's chosen? Oh no absolutely. Brett is also my best friend. This is sort of a new thing. He used to have, his hair used to be a lot different, much worse. Yeah. But now, if you look at it, it is very cool. Yeah, it rocks.

Also, for liking pooping around so much, it's certainly weird you don't have one bathroom in this place. I came in and said, I have to go to the bathroom, and they said, hold it. And you called me the B word. Remember? Beautiful. Ring a bell. Ring a bell. Hold it, brat.

You don't remember saying that? I don't. Hold it, brat. I genuinely don't remember saying that. Little girl. I do remember saying that, yes. So wait, what kind of if you want to do a video what is the character you're trying to do

me so my characters it better not be one of mine my characters have pretty long descriptions because I can't I don't do characters really so like a lot of it's in the title so it'll be like you know

guy at the dog park whose dog is named Captain Beefheart who keeps telling you about the Miami improv scene and how he finally moved to L.A. because his political impressions were really taking off. But he kind of can't do them anymore because they're like old. They're like from a couple of elections ago. And that he was in a Denny's commercial, but it was like just online. Well, why can't you?

I'm laughing already, first of all. I'll do it, yeah. Do you want to hear it? I'd love to hear it. Yeah. No, yeah. So it was like, I was just one of these. It was like, I'll come when LA calls me.

I'm not calling LA. And finally, Kevin Biford, get down! And I was just filming that, and now it's been uploaded to Twitter. Okay. It's that fast? It's that fast. God, it is so slow when I do it. It takes forever. Second of all, you don't need

to put all that in the title, honey. You don't think so, but... Because you can tell it. With your movements. I do this kind of psycho bunny You put all that in the title, honey. You don't think so, but. Because you can tell it. Because like, yeah. With your movements. I do. I do this like kind of psycho bunny character. This like.

No. This like. It is like. It is like. It's scary, but it's funny. It's this. It's this like little bunny that's like cute, but it's like. He's just sick in the head. I'm on my meds.

Oh no. And I'm like holding a knife and I'm like, look out. Yeah. It's like really. And he does this laugh. I can't do it. Do it, do it. No, I can't either.

Oh. Do it, do it. No, I can't. Okay. And I actually can't do it. But I can't. I did do it once. And so this is the problem with these things.

It doesn't save. It doesn't save. It doesn't save. I think it's the way you all are using your phones. What kind of phones do you have? A flip? You got a flip phone. I'm between phones currently. Well, that's problem number one.

You need to be in. You can't be in between phones if you're trying to upload a video. Yeah, no. Sorry, I didn't think I was going to get laughed at for that. In between phones. My phone was in a really bad accident. What do you mean between phones? So you don't have one?

What have you been filming on? On a Popsicle stick? Have you all been filming on a Popsicle stick? Again, I didn't necessarily think I'd be mocked or ridiculed for it. And he just said his phone was in a really bad accident. And if that happens to someone... Zero concern. necessarily think I'd be mocked or like ridiculed. And he just said his phone was in a really bad accident. And like, if that happens to someone, and they're like in,

in someone that you know is like hurting at the hospital, you don't just like get another one. So is your phone in the hospital? He's hooked up to an IV. That's a sketch. Oh God. A phone in hospital hooked up to an IV nurse. Come here. My, my app starting downloading. It is a sketch. It is a sketch. Oh, God! A phone in a hospital hooked up to an IV. Nurse, come here. My app's starting to download. It is a sketch.

It is an SNL sketch. But that's for him. That's his story. It's not for you to do. It is a sketch. If and when my phone makes a full recovery, I will be putting it on SNL. It's not Apple juice. It's electricity juice. I can see that as a series.

He has a girlfriend. Well, what could the girlfriend be? Oh, God. You know, he could have a girlfriend. And again, this is actually his story. This is like, yeah. Oh, I got it. I'm an iPad.

Oh, honey, your girlfriend's here. It's an iPad. That's better than what I had, but. What did you have? That's better than what I had, but. What did you have? His girlfriend was, like, just a, I don't want to say it now. It was a mechanical pencil.

But iPad's so much closer, like. And you do, like, use it to, like like sometimes write stuff out I know but even when I did it I knew like this doesn't make sense also pencil like is it doesn't make sense to me

I'm still going why did he pick I'm to be honest I'm trying to be nice but I'm going why didn't he pick that mechanical pencil

it's not even electric you can in the first draft why would they be dating why would they be dating there are little holes in the back that you can put

a mechanical pencil in, but again, the whole gender element of it is... What made you think about that, though? What made you think about... A mechanical pencil? Of all the things it could have been, that was something I would least likely pick. Not to be mean.

Well, in the original draft, it was two candles, and then I realized I only had one. So a threesome, two candles? The two candles was the girlfriend. Perverted. So a threesome, two candles? The two candles was the girlfriend. Perverted. Threesome. I'll take the hit. Yeah.

It was kind of a kinky idea on my part. I didn't know you were writing pornography. You know, Twilight's actually pornography. You fucking talked about this for an hour and a half before we started the show and I was like okay get it out of your system and that's what's so weird about like everything that you've mentioned about that we were saying before the show and to not bring that up

maybe you were hoping that we would say like okay well you were talking about this for so long it is pornography it was written oh wait yeah everybody knows about that. Well, it's written to be pornography. Yes.

That's what we were saying the whole time. Yes. We agree with you. Well, I thought you were going to talk about it. God. Everybody knows about this. There's so many entry ways to be talking about it. I thought, well, God, they're not going to bring it up until the cows come home.

I better say something. Do you know those? He's upset. Look at him. No, I'm just going over all the beats of the sketch now where i'm like what else happened the doctor was like a bottle of pacifico like why i don't have a great answer for that like that's why i am upset as i'm just going like oh this is and like the mechanical pencil can fit in there you're disgusting you keep thinking about the sex part of it well sometimes this can be funny

Woody talked about this like we can laugh about this it's true y'all are in the wrong business y'all should be in the playboy business I boobies tight waist fat ass well that is what the two candles kind of were for me.

Little waist. The wicks were nipples. Said Don Pardo. It's Saturday Live with Little Waist. Hollywood Handbook. well there's a reason they call me the march maniac i get maniacal around this time of year because march mania is happening in draft king sportsbook one of america's top rated sportsbook apps is giving new customers and maniacs like me a shot to turn five bucks into $150 instantly in bonus bets with any college basketball bet. Those maniacs are even more

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Mania! Life can be ridiculous, but you know what's not funny? Getting ripped off. And Harry's agrees. So what we want to talk about today with... Sorry, you said Harry's or Harry? I said Harry's. What we want to talk about today with... Sorry, you said Harry's or Harry?

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like there's a difference there like you yeah i, I've had things happen to me that I suppose you would find funny. Okay, but that you didn't find funny. Well, no, not really. And you have things that have happened that you would find funny, but the rest of the world would not? Yeah. I guess I'm interested in that one. That I would find funny? Yes.

But that others would not find funny. You seem to think that you have a specific taste when it comes to what's funny or ridiculous that is not. I ordered a scented spray for my pillow to help me sleep at night, like a lavender scent. Okay. And they accidentally sent me two. Okay. So you understand that most people would not buy that funny or ridiculous. But you do.

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Don't like your shave no worries it's on them getting ripped off isn't funny do you want to hear what happened to me that you might find yes yes sure but that you didn't yeah so you're attuned to this stuff i got my foot stuck in the dryer at the laundromat and it somehow turned on. And you know that that was something other people would find funny based on the responses you were getting. A lot of people inside that laundromat seemed to find it pretty humorous when my legs started spinning around and flipping me over. What happened was I was holding my laundry basket with both hands and i saw oh still a sock left in the dryer so i stuck my foot and tried to pick it up with my little toesies i wear sandals punk and as i'm picking it up i just sort of tripped and my foot got wedged in

between there's like slats in there and stuck inside there and then i don't know who somebody pushed the button or what but it turned on and the thing starts flipping over and i'm flying in circles help punk help me you punks are your clothes staying in the basket are you going fast no no no i'm wearing all of them by the end of the cycle. Get started with a $13 trial set for just $3 at harrys.com slash the boys. That's harrys.com slash the boys for a $3 trial set.

Hollywood Handbook. Thanks for making me laugh again. It's fun. It's fun to laugh. That can be really nice. I finally feel like I've found two people that mean's fun to laugh. That can be really nice. I finally feel like I've found two people that mean the most to me. My best friends.

I know that we've had a rocky ride, but you fight when you love someone. No, it's true. It's only because I care so much that I've been screaming at you. I've been pinching my leg this whole time, trying to calm me down like a horse. Is that how that works?

Yeah. No, this is another thing that I wanted to dig in on more, but we had to start the show. Why does that make the horse so calm to pinch them? He can't believe he's alive anymore. He can't believe he's on. The horse thinks he's dreaming. Yeah. Yes.

He goes, somebody pinch me. I'm getting rode by this one. Pinch me. You know the phrase, pinch me, I'm dreaming? Yeah. Horses say Somebody pinch me. I'm getting rode by this one. Pinch me. You know the phrase pinch me, I'm dreaming? Yeah. Horses say pinch me, I'm alive. You know? Okay. So, but then in that case.

All right. Is this like a Bojang Horseman thing? It's like. Have you never pinched a horse before? Have you done that? I've not hurt an animal. Let's be clear. But a little tiny tickle, a little tiny, oh, you need to be calm.

It's more of a squinch than a pinch, isn't it? Did you ever do BoJack Horseman or did you ever do animals, HBO animals? Have I ever done them? Yes, have you ever done the show? Have I ever railed? What are you talking about? Are you talking about set? I'm sorry, no, and you accused him of being obsessed with it

when actually we were talking about a boyfriend-girlfriend. Oh, have I been on the show? Have I been on the show, you mean? Yeah. I was the leader. The leader. I was one of the leads. They brought me into her voiceover, and I'm really good at it.

Because you don't have to memorize lines. That's a hard part. My brain can't remember. That doesn't matter. You can look at it. How do don't have to memorize lines. That's a hard part. My brain can't remember. That doesn't matter. You can look at it. How do you learn all those lines? That's another reason Shakespeare sucks. Oh, yeah. Bringing it back to the hymn, huh?

That little... I did bring it back to the hymn. We will do that. We will do that sometimes. We'll take something that happened before. I bet he can't wait to bring up poop again. Wow. And then you're accusing me of doing it. But actually, if you even, and we can play the tape back because we're recording this.

If you really listen, you're the one who brought up poop again. And you're the one who said you wanted more bathrooms to poop in. You're like, there's only one bathroom here. Well, here's the thing. I'll never listen to this because it will be giving me flashbacks to war today. Although we're coming out on top as best friends, but I don't want to remember the things you've said earlier to me. I hope there wasn't a recorder when I walked in.

I hope you didn't record your drive out here. I'd like Hayes to get at least one front facing camera video done before we have to leave I do think that it's only one that actually saves one that actually is like finished you can see me

because his psycho bunny stuff I honestly think should be actually a full movie I gotta tell you something yeah good tell me I don't record them myself okay it's a big reveal i've been trying to hide it from you i don't record on myself i haven't ever i haven't ever known how to record myself okay somebody little does it for me megan oh megan someone not he's just little, like he's 10.

I get it. He's my 10-year-old little mister, and he's kind of like an intern. He doesn't honestly. I go, oh, God. He just knows phones. Well, I go to his parents' help, too. I go to a family's house, and they film me. I go to his parents' help, too.

I go to a family's house and they film me. So I have always kind of suspected this. And can I share why? The dad gets involved. We all kind of work together to film me. The Robins. The Robins. The Robins. They're a men in Brooklyn.

So I always kind of suspected because you seem so happy they're holding up big balloons yes and you seem so like comfortable with this family and like you're so safe while you're doing this and I think that's why

people are responding to this and they're saying like no no you guys it's awful I want responding to this and they're saying like, no, no, you guys I want to share this with people. No, it's like it's very I think it's very nice. He's upset. He's been lied to. Look at him. Well, because maybe he doesn't

have like... I don't have a family that filmed me. They're not my family. There's not a family that films me. And I it's not for lack of trying. I'll say that. I've gone to a lot of people's houses. If Dr. David's class can help me, then that's great.

Because I have other ideas for characters, obviously, that are like really, really good. Here's the thing. You don't even have to have ideas. All the ideas are the dad's. The dad is pitching them. The dad pitches them. The don't even have to have ideas. All the ideas are the dad's. The dad is pitching them. The dad pitches them. The son... I'm not kidding you. The son films me and the mom cleans up after. I don't know what to say.

And that's more of a traditional thing, but she wants to do it. She does the costume too. I want to do some of these ones I've seen that are so good are these slice of life. It's like me when I'm trying to open a jar. I've never seen that. Oh, and then it's Like it's like me when I'm trying to open a jar. I've never seen that.

Oh. And then it's like, this is me when I'm doing like me when I'm trying to, um, uh, uh, finish the end of a jar. What do you mean by finish an end?

Finish. What do you mean by that? The end is the last food. That's the end of the jar. A jar of what? Bugs? What do you finish? Well, some places you mean by that the end is the last food that's the end of the jar jar of what bugs what do you finish well some places you can do that and it's not again like it's okay i think you thought you were being funny when you said a jar of bugs but actually it shows you haven't traveled anywhere yeah you want me to help you hook hook you up with your ignorance fell out your oh god here i am trying to help y'all.

I broke down my barrier for you, showing you I don't do the videos. I don't do this stuff. Can I say, and this is also such an L.A., New York thing, because that is actually how it works here. Where, like, you go to a thing. And, like, the director is the dad. Yeah. Yeah. And he's saying, like, here's an idea for you.

Here's a jar of love. Finish it off. And the film set is a family here. It's always a big family. So you're okay with lying. And the cameraman is a little mister, and he's saying, here we go. He's saying, here it is. Yes.

He does say, here we go, and he's ready. He goes, here we go. Yeah, and the producer, that's mom, because she's got to clean up after. Yeah, she cleans up after. So it's okay that I've lied to the public. I tried Dr. David's class He's kicked me out honey For 36 days he said you're gone

He looked at me one morning I'm getting ready for warms he goes you're gone 36 days So you got to do How many of these days 36 After 36 days it was over for you He goes bye bye he didn't tell me what I did

But I think it was the prank the night before. I'm guessing. I mean, I feel like now we've talked almost too much about front-facing camera videos. Do you have any other books or movies? Yeah. Because you seem to want to keep talking about that.

Oh, God. You're like morning radio show still going. Well, yeah. Honey, you haven't listened to sunrise sunset I don't get it out here I don't get it out here You don't get sunrise sunset It's really It doesn't come through very clearly

We get it but it's very static I don't know if it's on your end or mine But it's very hard to hear You certainly know about it I don't know if it's on your end or mine, but it's very hard to hear. Well, you certainly know about it. Yes. Don't you? So you don't like it? You literally don't get the channel sunshine.

I've tried to listen to it here. It sounds here very bad. And I assume the problem's on our end and not your end. Well, I hope to God. Because I'll tell you what, our production team's absolutely amazing. Yeah. You would be unbelievable. We record that show every day from 6 a.m. to 14. And honey, I'll be honest.

I'll be honest with you. We don't take breaks. For lunch, nothing. We go straight to. Wow. Every damn day. Sorry for cursing. Bleep me out. Bleep me out. Every damn fucking day. Bleep that out. Bleep me out. Bleep me out. Every damn fucking day. Bleep that out.

Bleep that out. But no, dude, honestly, you can even do more than that. You can actually go full ham. Oh, really? I can tell you that. Our asses are raw by the end. I'm not kidding you.

I start... Bitch! I'm not kidding you. Our fucking asses are raw. Bleep that out. I actually don't like me doing that. From doing a radio show? Yeah. The chairs are fucked up. I'm not kidding you our fucking asses are raw bleep that out I actually don't like me doing that from doing a radio show

yeah the chairs are fucked up well if there I could pay money to see a chair that wasn't in a different shape in that building there's no walls either

I'm not kidding you yeah wow I didn't think you were no yeah but you don't take a break from the whole time we don't take a break

so one day I'm telling you one day an intern said should we break for lunch and everyone went I didn't think you were. No, yeah, but you don't take a break from the whole time. We don't take a break. So one day, I'm telling you, one day an intern said, should we break for lunch? And everyone went, oh! At the same time. Break for lunch. But that could be funny to do on the show. Like these characters coming in and out on the show.

We're not characters. No, but I'm saying like you've got this like, this little crew of like wacky weirdos that are like coming through and being like what's up and you're like okay are you trying to get on the show absolutely not I but look well you all have your own show

and so that's actually what I was trying to say before we were getting at that that this is actually my own show it's yours well what time do you work till 4 until 2 we were getting at that. That this is actually my own show. It is. Yeah. Well, what time do you work till? Four until two.

And what time do you work till? We do it the whole time. The whole time of ever? The show's happening. Now. But you said, and then when does it now? The show's happening the whole time. Because somebody might,

you always have to be thinking about somebody might be listening at any time. Yeah. Somebody might want to be like, okay, I'm going to listen to this. You have to be thinking about somebody might be listening at any time. Somebody might want to be like, okay, I'm going to listen to this. You have to be like, okay. I have a responsibility to not only my fans, but also my enemies. Because they might turn it on. Because if they turn it on, I need to be there for them. And you can't be like, they turn it on, you can't be like, oh, oh, oh, sorry. You want to like, I wasn't ready.

Yeah. I have to do this right now. Oh, hello. Didn't see you there. No, that you can do. That's funny. But in like a way that like is intent where they know that like you, of course you were ready.

You can't be actually surprised because you do it. Yeah. Have you thought about doing a bit? I can't find my headphones. I thought about doing, I was, I didn't think about that, but I thought about doing. We did it not like that, but like. Not that, but I thought about doing a similar one. And the same guy actually is going like, he keeps going like, hey, what came out first,

Scream or Scary Movie? Which one did? He can't figure out. Which one did? He goes, which one? Which one came out first? Do you know? He goes, remember when the Budweiser commercial ripped off scary movie they did the what's up stuff wasn't that weird

like wasn't scary movie pissed you know what's weird is i actually designed the masks in that movie which that's not weird to me at all that's not weird to me at all what parts get to the weird and scary movie well it's a weird part well i designed them and i wore them i was in that movie. Which one? That's not weird to me at all. That's not weird to me at all. What parts? Get to the weird part. In Scary Movie? Get to the weird part. Well, I designed them and I wore them. I was in the movie. And I'm still waiting

actually to hear the parts that's weird. And I can't wait until you get to what's weird about it. And we actually have to wrap up pretty soon, right? Yeah, we're almost done

with the show. So if we could get to the weird part. There was a big accident on set. I'm not allowed to talk about it, but there was a lot of different animals

and different. Halfway through the movie, they had to fire me because I did. They had to fire you for designing the mask halfway through the movie. If you watch halfway, there's a little different shading

on some of the masks. I couldn't deny that what I did was really different than everyone else was what they were doing. But I don't regret a single thing. No one got hurt. No, it's important.

No regrets. But I thought, keep the mask, you know. At least keep the mask. Like, it'll fire you. Yeah. Fire me all day long. But keep the mask. But keep the mask. Please keep the mask.

I was doing prayer hands. They can't see me on here. Don't take it out on the mask. Yeah. Just if I made a big accident on set with animals and stuff. I didn't make a big accident. I didn't poop all over the set. This is the second episode in a row where someone won't stop talking about this.

And we will separate this. Well, is that person you? Is that person you? You're the one that can't stop? The second person. Yeah, it's you, bud. Look in the mirror, honey. Not what I said.

Do a front-facing video. See your front face lying. Didn't say that. By the way, y'all. And so this is what you do is you convince people that your videos are a mirror. And then you say something. And I knew this is what you were doing. And this is what I was scared about.

Because I will be looking at it and be like, I'm doing this and you're like, basically like, yeah, you are. But it is you. It was you. Yeah, you two really caught me. Bring the police and tie me up, huh?

That's what you two want me to go to jail? I'm looking at two sinners and I thought, I'm not kidding, you guys are sinning. Sinners. Sinning around town. In the city of law.

The city of lawless sins. The city of lawless. The devil's city. Don't come to LA. That's what they say, don't come to LA if you want to keep your soul. That's what they say. Don't come to LA if you don't want to keep your soul. That's what you two are, solos. How about that movie?

I'm writing a movie about you. Two people that try to... Just promote that one last movie and then... The other movie that I did? I'm Too Selfish to Have Kids. That one. Bye.

Hollywood Handbook. That was a HeadGum Podcast.