Hollywood Handbook - Meredith Hagner, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: December 12, 2017

Sean and Hayes welcome MEREDITH HAGNER to Earwolf studios to share stories and get her help on a financial project they've been working on. This episode is sponsored by Casper Mattresses (code: HANDBOOK).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Mayfield. Yeah. And Rachel Bielson. Yeah. And we are filling out one of these surveys. These incredible surveys that they have now. I would love to get together and just like... Where? Oh, yes. I used to do them alone. But then I like to like feel out my answer. I like to bounce stuff off other people.

What difference does it make you know who I would have dated from stranger things if I had lived in that universe? Like what difference does that make if I can't tell Shai McBride about it immediately? You know what I mean? I will say I don't. That was one survey I didn't like. Oh, you don't because you, well, you're just mad because you were dated the Gorgatron.

Isn't that why you're pissed off? Well, the options are, like, if my options are one of the kids or the Gorgatron. Will. Yeah. It was either Will, the very young boy who was trapped in the wall, or the Gorgatron. Yeah. And so. I felt like it was a trap.

Because if you get Will and you share it, then they immediately send a strike team to your house. Then you're in trouble. Yeah. But then if you get the Gorgatron, they make fun of you in the survey. Yeah. They go like, you like monsters? You like the Gorgatron? So anyway, I got Will and I turn to Shy and I go, hey, Shy, check it out.

Of course, you know what he says. Check mine out. So I got to read his survey first. He was taking a different one. It was, who would you have married in Stranger Things if you had lived in that universe? And he got Hopper. Oh, cool. Oh, so cool.

That's cool. Yeah, he got Hopper. Oh, damn. Jealous, have to marry the Gorgotron. One punch, boom. Yeah, no, well, you're dating the Gorgotron. Well, yeah, for now. Yeah, I guess you haven't taken the second survey.

But anyway, you know, we do the surveys, do the surveys, do the surveys. It's all super fun. And so we realized Rachel Bielson's in a coma. Oh, the whole time. And we thought she was just really focused on the survey. Really thinking about the survey. We thought she was, like, having trouble. Because some of those multiple choices are very hard.

Yeah. It's like, it'll say, like, do you like to be alone or do you enjoy reading a book? Yeah. And you go like, I don't know. And it comatized her. Yeah. And ultimately she wound up in a coma and then we had to do the, get rid of it. Get rid of her.

Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet linebacker hallways of this industry we call showbiz. We had John Early and Kate Berlant last week. And now we have Meredith Hangers. Okay. From Search Party. It's not Hangers. It's okay.

It's not a big deal. It's Hagner. Hamburger. It's not hamburgers. It's Hagner's. Hamburger. It's not hamburgers. It's Hagner. Meredith Hagner. Hagner. Hagner.

It's just sort of, don't emphasize the hag. You're saying more like Hagner? I know. And I think that's so. Can I make a suggestion? Yeah. Go with Hanger. Or hamburgers maybe.

Or hamburgers. Yeah. I think Hangers might be better. Because to say like, if your name is Hangers, and to come here and say, like, no, I'm more like Meredith Hagner. I'm like, that's such a rude thing to say about yourself. Yeah. You know what? Just be Meredith Hangers and don't have to, like, put yourself out there to neg yourself like that.

Can I say, and I don't want to get in trouble, you're not a Hagner. Yes, that's kind of what I'm trying to say. I've met Hagner's. Right. You know what I mean? There's a bunch of them around this town. Yeah. Really?

Because I've actually, it's a pretty uncommon name. No, they're out there at night. They come out. Oh, the Hagner's come crawling. Yeah, I catch them going through my trash can. They scuttle out at night. You know what? It's a tough name.

But, you know, I'm working with what I got. It's a tough name, but I'm working with what I got. One time someone actually pronounced it like hogner, like to try to make it sound fancier. But I do think hogners. No one can get it right, so don't feel bad. So what's your middle name? Kathleen.

Okay, Kathleen Hamburgers. This, I think, is something we can work with. Okay. Now, famously on the show, we only call hamburgers hamburger sandwich. So I'm sure some people are listening and going, when's he going to say hamburger sandwich? Why is he saying hamburger sandwich? And it's not for you. It's not somebody's last name. We don't dance for you.

No, either. We're not going to do it this episode. We're not going to say hamburger sandwich. Sorry, my voice is so ragged today. That's okay. I've been screaming at this rude possum. Yeah, well, so Hayes bought a really big possum to try to defeat the Hagners that were going through his trash cans at night. And now the possum is there.

Right. And he watches me and my wife. Oh, wow. Yeah. And unfortunately, Hayes spent so much on the possum, he can't afford to get any shrubs or anything to block the view. Yeah. My wife and I are retiring for the evening. Okay.

You know. And retiring from the business. Do you want to announce that? Yeah, but, I mean, it's a merit of some. I don't want to make it about retiring from the business. No, no, it shouldn't be the sort of farewell, but Hayes and his wife are both retired. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

And some will be, you know, just like we'll start lightly kissing each other or whatever. And I'll look over to make sure that the possum is not there, and he's not there. Sorry, I hate to keep interrupting, but just so it's clear that this isn't something like filthy, because we don't want to get in trouble. But they're lightly kissing each other on the shoulders. Yes.

Sorry. I should have said that. Because today, you know. The outside of the shoulder. It's just we don't know you, Kathleen Hamrick. We don't want to end up, you know. No, I get that. I actually had a possum eat my entire—I kept my dog's dog food on the porch for two days.

Not to interrupt your story. I'm so sorry. Okay, well, just make sure it's better. If it's better than mine, keep going. No, no, you go ahead. I'll remember because I'll remember it was when you guys were kissing each other on the shoulders. Yeah. So go ahead.

No, no, no. So the dog food, you caught him eating the food? Oh, unusual behavior, eating food. Yeah, well, okay. So the dog food. You caught him eating the food? Oh, unusual behavior, eating food. Yeah. Well, okay. What do you want him to do with it? Okay. I'm just, you're clearly more well-versed in possum behavior.

I'm just new to LA. What's your address? Sorry? What's your address? I don't really feel comfortable saying that. Yeah, just you're telling, like, I want to know what neighborhood this is that the possum was, you know, out on your deck or something.

It's just like not great storytelling. Okay. Yeah, well, I guess I was just expecting you to ask me like some questions. I'm sorry. I'm new to podcasts, but I guess I was more expecting like,

Don't reach for the ketchup. Reach for the Heinz. You know what I mean? It's all about specifics. Questions or thieves. Right. Questions or thieves. Statements or gifts. Statements or gifts.? It's all about specifics. Questions are thieves. Right. Questions are thieves. Statements are gifts.

Statements are gifts. Okay, thank you for that. That's helpful. Statements are what? We're here to help. Statements are gifts. Questions are thieves. Don't reach for the ketchup.

Reach for the Heinz. So if I may, I'm lightly kissing my wife. I look over just to make sure that no possum is watching. Right. And he's never there. And then I feel like, okay, we can start to get going with this. And then it's just like, as soon as it heats up the tidiest bit, I look over, and there he is, just sitting straight up in the window. Just like with the face that's like, eee.

Just looking at us and I have to scream at this possum to get him to go away and look I didn't want to do this stuff in the first place with my wife

it's like kind of a relief for me right to get out of it just to have an excuse to like oh the possum yes yes

but I do have to put on a big show of being mad at the possum obviously or else she'll be mad but I'm not upset because if you But I do have to put on a big show of being mad at the possum, obviously. Or else she'll be mad. But I'm not upset. I'm confused because if you were just like chill about the possum.

If I was just like, oh, the possum's watching us. Watching us. Too bad. She'll be like, oh, did you not want to kiss me in the first place? Yeah. Okay. And it's like a, yeah. Okay.

yeah okay and it's like yeah okay it's it's interesting because I

obviously then you know had to drive to Hayes' house and pick up the possum put it in a cage and then I put it

in the bedroom with my wife and I yeah and I was sort of gently sort of sniffing the nape of her neck and I look over

and the possum is asleep and I go, is this not interesting to you? So then I'm screaming at him, right? I'm like, oh, you want to watch Hayes and his wife,

who to me are disgusting. Physically disgusting. But then I'm here with a true dime piece. My wife's Steffi Graf, tennis champion Steffi Graf. Incredible shape. My wife's Carrie Ann Moss. But I'm here with a true dime piece. My wife's Steffi Graf, tennis champion Steffi Graf. She's in incredible shape. My wife's Carrie Ann Moss. So, like... But I'm married to Steffi.

Thank you for clarifying. So you be the judge about whether she's disgusting. And I'm kind of sniffing her, like, cervical spine, you know, just the top of the neck there. Those, like, top, like, C4 through C7, just sort of right at the top, right before it becomes the thoracic vertebrae. And I'm getting in pretty good, and the possum's not interested. So then I start to worry, is he sick? Like after I'm done yelling at him and he's still not waking up, I'm like, oh, is he sick? Did he find something in Hayes' trash can that's like part of his new diet that Hayes is on

that's like not good for animals? Right. And so then I start shaking the cage. Oh. Now the possum's awake. So you woke it up. Uh-huh. So I'm relieved on the one hand, but I'm also very scared because I shook it so hard the

door came open and the possum is now out in the room and angry. Wow. I was like, I'd rather be dealing with one of these haggners outside. Yeah, well, that sounds harrowing, but also like you might have brought it upon yourself. Name one thing I did in the story that's my fault. Okay, yeah. Honestly, name one.

I'll wait. You have to, yeah. We have all the time in the world. Okay, yeah. No, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. We, name one. I'll wait. You have to. Yeah. We have all the time in the world. Okay, yeah. No, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. We have the studio.

Brett, can you extend the studio time? Bump the next show. We're going to be waiting a while for Kathleen Hamburgers to come up with a freaking excuse for this statement. No, no. You know what? That was out of line. Can we hear you get on the phone and do it, please?

Thank you, Brett. That was out of line. Please, Brett, get on the phone and cancel. And while he does that- Brett, tell us what the next show is and cancel. Now would be a good time for you to tell your possum story. You know what? To help to contribute.

And you've had time to kind of come up with some specifics. Right, right. So now I kind of come up with a... So I... Can I say one thing? I hate to interrupt you. I was just literally about to talk for the first time. But you said thank you for the...

You said thank you. You said thank you for the question. But in fact, Hayes did not ask a question, questions are thieves. What Hayes said is now would be a good time to tell your possible story, which is a statement, which is a gift. Go ahead. Okay. Yeah. No, no. Now I'm sort of – it's all coming to me.

This is weird. I – okay. Yeah. Keep going. It's fine. I just have to... Sorry? You can keep going with your story. I can hear a phone ringing.

Do you want to pick it up? I have to bump this next session. Weird thing to brag about. I can hear a phone. Go ahead. Is this like a normal. Weird thing to brag about. I can hear a phone. Go ahead. Is this like a normal? Just because I'm new to podcasts? No, usually the guest is like helping out more and like telling

more stories. I'm sorry. Oh, okay. I had to hang up. You can keep going, but I have to take this call to bump this next session. Yeah, no, go ahead. Just because it's going to take so long for you to name something I did wrong in the story. Okay.

Who's the record? It's Comedy Bang Bang's biggest show of the year, actually. Oh, yeah. Okay. The Christmas show. Well, you should pick it up. Yes. Yeah, Scott needs to pick up my call.

Okay, gotcha. I'm calling him. Uh-huh. So. Great. I'm going to try again. Well, anyway. Okay, yeah, so the phone's ringing again.

So I'm sorry. It's just, we can just talk about something else. Hey, Scott. I thought I was going to, it's totally fine. You just want to talk search party. No, I... I'm good. I'm totally good.

Some people do just want to come in and they are laser focused on the plug. Right. I guess I just thought because it's called Hollywood Handbooks, right? So I thought it was going to be like a... Well, you won't even say if your address is in Hollywood.

But it's my big Christmas episode. I know. Sorry, it's Scott Aukerman on the phone. We've been planning this for so long. You're not like part of this world. But I was going to steal Sean's Santa Man character and make a lot of money off it. Scott is kind of like certainly a well-known figure in this community. I'm just worried he can hear your voice coming through the... You're both talking at the same time. Yeah, but I'm not on the phone. off it. Scott is kind of like certainly a well-known figure in this community.

You're both talking at the same time. Yeah, but I'm not on the phone. I'm talking to you. Is there any way we can push this? Brett is on the phone with Scott Aukerman bumping his next session. Can I be honest? It's a relief to me. I don't like my own show.

I don't even want to do it anymore. I'm glad it got bumped. I wish we'd cancel the whole thing. You know what show I think is good? What? Sean own show. I don't even want to do it anymore. I'm glad it got bumped. I wish you'd cancel the whole thing. You know what show I think is good? Sean's show. Wow. Featuring Hayes. I mean, it is a good show, sir. I mean, I think you should still do the episode.

You don't have to call me sir. Call me Scott Scott. You ever listen to Comedy Bang Bang? Okay, Scott Scott. You have? Like once. Which one? Call me sir. Call me Scott Scott. You ever listen to Comedy Bang Bang? Okay, Scott Scott. Yeah, I've listened to Comedy Bang Bang. You have? Like once. Which once? If we could just bump it maybe an hour because this story seems to be taking a really long time.

Aren't you going to ask me about my rash? I thought we sort of covered that last time. How is your rash? But it's bigger. Really? Yeah, it's really coming along. I'm trying to make it huge. Is it covering, is it beyond the sort of belly region now?

Oh, yeah. Starting to creep out from my shoulders. Nature's tattoo. Anyway, I got to run. Okay. Yeah. Is that okay? Yeah.

Kulap's almost done cooking the oatmeal. You guys can keep going. This is. Oh, yeah. Sorry. No, I was. Yeah. Sorry.

I'm just wrapping up. That's fine. I just wanted to make sure you got your call in. Yeah, it's taking longer. Scott, he's really angry about... Oh, he didn't want us to bump him? I will say, they take turns cooking the oatmeal. It's not like he makes his wife cook the oatmeal every week.

That's reassuring. They do all their oatmeal for the week on Saturday. Yeah, tell him I said what up, what up. He'll like that. I know he likes the show. Scott, Sean says what up, what up. Ow! Ow, ow, ow!

Is that your rash? No. It's my sore. The steam from the oatmeal is opening up his sore. Hazy, can you hear this? Every week. Right. Yeah. Okay. No, so you can hear this? Every week. Right. Yeah.

Okay. No, I just know. I mean, it's Saturday morning. I assume he's talking about his sore. Yeah, you're right. That's what happens. The kitchen gets very steamy. He has this sore.

He collects these medieval swords. Okay. And he made a sore with the sword. I guess he thought like, he likes like wordplay stuff. So I guess that was like one of his ideas for like something for the show. But he made a pretty big sword. And, you know, when you collect these things, a lot of them are pretty old. Right.

You don't know where they're coming from, what's in them. So it seems like it's infected pretty badly. Wow. And he's got this thing against like doctors and hospitals. And it all came out of of his love for wordplay. He likes to sort of take a word and then say a word that sounds like the word. Oh, wow.

We should give him that. Sort of take a wordplay. Hold on, Scott. Did you say sort of? Yeah, just say there's a girl from Search Party. Sort of, sort of, sort of. If you want to just UTA. Just like the juggernaut on this plug

yeah right the girl from search party says sword a sword sword sword yeah your sword a sword sword I'm gonna get 10 episodes out of that that's great but we really need to bump this show so and I need to go

Okay Okay I love you bro Okay Love you Scott I'm in love with you In love with you too bro Okay

Okay gotta go Okay bye The oatmeal's burned Meredith do you do crypto? Yeah do you do crypto? Are you into cryptocurrency? I I don't You're not into crypto? Yeah, do you do crypto? Are you into cryptocurrency? I don't. You're not into crypto?

No. Actually, no, I'm not. So you only do a couple of them? I don't know. I don't. I don't do crypto. We're getting heavy into crypto. Yeah, we're heavy into crypto.

But if you don't do crypto, does that mean you only do Dash and Ripple? This is why I'm able to retire, Meredith. Oh, that's awesome. Because you're like 55. That's very kind of you. That's really sweet. That's very nice. I love that you did the polite thing and undershot it.

Right. No, that's awesome that you can retire. There is a five in there, but it's the third digit. Okay, gotcha. Do you just do Dash, Ripple, and BCH? I'm just trying to get a sense of your portfolio. Is it just Dash, Ripple, and BCH? I'm just trying to get a sense of your portfolio. Is it just Dash, Ripple, and BCH? Because you're saying you don't really do crypto.

I don't really feel comfortable talking about... Rocketer? Yeah. I'm so sorry. We don't have to talk about this. This is something we normally do on the show. Okay, that sounds good. We'll talk to you about Search Party and all that stuff that you like.

Let's get into search party, which sounds cool. But at the same time, you take this computer and you do these math problems on the computer. And it makes crypto. Okay, I'm trying to follow, but okay. And so we get the crypto and you get the satisfaction of a job well done and you can say the name of your show as many times as you want as long as you are steadily producing every time yes yes every time you successfully complete the block chain yes's mining. People call it mining

because it is mine at the end. I mean, I'm a team player. I'm down to... Yeah. I mean, if you... It's just what we normally do. It's what you normally... Yeah, okay.

I don't know if you've listened to the show before, but this is kind of our thing. Oh, okay, great. Yes. Well, you know, I'm happy to be here. I know you've listened to Comedy Bang Bang.

I don't know if you've listened to this show. I'm very happy to be here and I'm happy to roll with the flow, so just let me know. Okay. Okay. So the computer is there. Okay. And the numbers should just be popping up on the screen.

Yeah. Just get comfortable. Okay. Just kind of as you're talking. The server, don't sit too close to the server because it gets very hot very fast. Okay. Search Party, they released all ten episodes of the first season at once. Yeah.

But still do the— Okay. Yeah, sorry. I'm just trying to— It's a lot. They put them all out at once, which is sort of crazy. They didn't actually do that. What did they do?

It was like on a Saturday, I thought. That was last year. That's what I said season one. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. I understand how it can be. We want you to do the math problems like on a Saturday, I thought. That was last year. That's what I said. That's what we're talking about. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I understand how it can be. We want you to do the math problems, but we want you to listen. Sorry, I was preoccupied. But they didn't do that this year.

And should they have done it again since it worked so well last year, releasing all the episodes at the same time on like a Saturday at 3, when no one sort of knew they were coming and should it be even harder to find and for people to see. So yeah, we just thought season one was a success and they released it at 1 a.m. on a Saturday and then they took it down, I think, like an hour later. And it made it feel special if you got to see it. So what I'm wondering is, you know, it sounds like you already know what they're doing with season two.

But what we maybe could do with some of these episodes is hide them around the city. Around the city. Yeah, like an Easter egg hunt. Yeah. And if you could also say how many cryptos you're producing as they come out. Okay. Yeah. Sorry, I was trying to answer the question, and then I got a little confused.

Is Edith short for Meredith? You know how sometimes they do the short for it will be the second half of the name? Like Topher? Right. My seventh grade teacher called me Edith, which I think that's weird. Yeah. Edith Hamburger. It seems strange to get a nickname from my seventh grade teacher.

It's like Shakespeare saying, like, I Edith the Hamburgers. Yeah. I mean, that's a good name. I don't know. Language is fluid. Right. I hate when people tell me, like, that's not a word or don't say that word or that word's offensive. And I go, like, well, Shakespeare was doing crazy stuff. I mean, not that he wrote those plays.

He didn't write those plays. Do you see the dictionary will put the craziest words in there sometimes? Uh-huh. Yeah, no, language, right. I say Shakespeare, you know, I use that word because it's a common thing that we can understand. But, of course, you know I don't mean literally Shakespeare. Right. Who did not write those plays.

Have you seen Anonymous? Sorry? Anonymous. Are you seen Anonymous? Sorry? Anonymous. Are you saying Anonymous or... Yeah, well, language is fluid, but yeah. Okay, I haven't seen that play, no. Yeah, not a play. It's playing on the big screen.

Oh, that's cool. I'll check it out. Yeah. Yeah. How many cryptos? Sorry, what was the question you were asking before? I'm just – We were asking if they should hide the episodes around the city.

That was – I know. I think that that's – it doesn't really make sense. But also, we do need to produce a certain number of cryptos by the end of our session here. Now, luckily, we've already bumped the next record, so we can go four or five hours, however long we need to go. I'm not

great at math. I just have to be honest. So I might just like... Well, you gotta be better than Hayes. Yeah. He lost us a buttload of cryptos trying to do this stuff. Okay. So, yeah. He a buttload of cryptos trying to do this stuff. Okay. So, yeah. He was like essentially throwing the cryptos at the

mine. From what I understand. Right. Because maybe I can just be a guest that doesn't do the cryptos. Like, I don't know. What would you do? Because I haven't heard a possum story from you and I haven't gotten any cryptos out of you. Yeah. No, I mean, just the possum story,

because I was going to tell it, and then the phone rang, and so it kind of feels like I just kind of lost the momentum on the story. No, I don't really want to tell it anymore. And this is like a Hollywood thing. It's like sometimes the phone is going to ring when you're telling your story. No, and I'm not trying to sound aggressive or anything right now. I really am not. I think you guys are...

Cool. Yeah, you're both... I'm just trying to find a word. Yeah, you're both guys. And so I'm so happy to be here. And we're straight up. Yeah. And we're as real as it gets.

And we're frigging straight up. And this is our thing about guys. Guys are straight up. We're rugged as hell, you know? I don't get that. We're not these, like, soft, like, frigging, you know, modern millennial frigging metrosexuals. You know, we don't do that shit. Yeah.

You know? I cut my own hair with a frigging straight razor. Okay. If I don't have my buck knife handy. But I cut my hair with a buck knife. What do you cut your hair with? I actually just like go to a salon and they do it.

That's cool because you're not a freaking rugged dude like me and Hayes. I have a friend that, never mind, does haircuts from her house. And where is that? Yeah, what's her address? In Brooklyn, but it always seems a little suspect. They're never good.

Okay. Haircuts. Wow. Sorry, that was... Now this is the stuff that we like having on the show. Oh, good. Finally spilling tea. That really pops.

Taking your friend's business and just annihilating it. I love that we're spilling some tea. No, she's not a hair cutter. She just does it for fun. Yeah, that's what you're saying because she's so bad at it. It's not a business. She's trying to be one, but she's not. No, she's a musician, and she's also just like, I'll cut your hair if you want.

With like a freaking guitar string. Basically. Yes. Wow. With like a freaking guitar string. Basically. Wow. That could be cool actually. Imagine the sound you'd get out of that. That's how I get my hair cut. Oh yeah. Brett likes music. That's his brand. Is that how you get your hair cut for real?

No, I just feel like these guys really want me to jump in. The lying. It's the lying for me. That's what I can't stand about it. I don't mind the jumping in, but that he claims that I wanted it, that's what I can't abide. And that he lied about the guitar string haircut. Oh, that's even worse.

That's what you meant? Oh, God, Hayes. It seems like he's proud of himself. Hollywood handbook. I feel like musicians all have to have, like. It seems like he's proud of himself. Hollywood Hamburg. I feel like musicians all have to have, like, jaggedy edged haircuts. Mm-hmm. Jagger. Like it's been done in someone's house.

Jaggery. Like jagged edge. Jagged edge. Jagged little pill. Mm-hmm. McJagged. So, it seems to me that you were upset when we were interrupting you, Kathleen Hamburgers. Oh, I wasn't upset.

I was just getting like, because I just am trying to follow. I wasn't upset at all. I'm sorry if it came across as aggressive. Nobody talk. Because this is how she'll learn. Brett just left. No, but don't talk. What?

I'm teaching her a lesson who like she was so mad that we interrupted her oh yeah so now and then now it's like well see what it's like you know

if you want to talk you talk all you want because like now we just sort of let her feel that heat for a second and it'll be a good lesson

to remember I don't have to talk I really am I'm totally fine. Hey there. It's like she was mad at that. Phone call. I absolutely was.

I mean, I wasn't mad. I just, I'm trying to follow. Somebody should understand. Sort of like getting a taste of everyone. Oh, God, yes. Oh, God, yes. Okay. I mean, sorry, continue.

But that phone call, you know, we're cutting that out. That's not going to be in the show. Oh, okay. I didn't know these were edited. You know how mad freaking Scott Akerman would be if he heard that phone call? He doesn't know he's being recorded. He hates being recorded. He hates doing his show.

I guess I thought the whole point of the I thought the whole kind of concept of the show was like I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I'm just completely I'm just trying to follow So it seems like you would like us You guys should just talk

to talk more or I don't know, ask a question She admitted it to just talk. To talk more. Yeah, or, I don't know, ask a question. She admitted it. Questions or theses? Oh, God. Okay. And I do have a question while we're waiting for this,

which is, can I have the crypto, please? Can you get it for me? I don't really... From the mind. Salutations. Hey, Scott, Scott. Hi, little Bretso

What do you need? They're making a kind of stink over that phone call I just wanted to A stink? That reminds me of skunks What podcast do you listen to? I like S-Town I just wanted to

Speaking of skunk I'm sparking up a big doobie right now. Woo! Who do you think did it on S-Town? I'm freaking cheaped out. It wasn't really like a did it thing. Meredith Hamburger was really angry about this phone call, and I might have recorded it. I'm sorry.

I just went on the record. I wasn't angry. From search history? It's called search party. I'm not angry. He said search history. I hope Kulap doesn't look at my search history. Yeah.

Because I'm shopping for her Christmas gift. Yeah, I just wanted to let you know that this call is being recorded. It's all been recorded, but I can't edit it out. Oh, hmm. What? How does this whole thing work, recording? What does that even mean? You know?

Where do you think would be a good place to hide in search parties? Saving your words. What would be a good place to hide in search parties? Saving your words. What would be a good place to hide? Like in the city. Like Shakespeare. Like the literal actual episodes. That would be fun for people to search for and find. I mean, wordplay.

Shakespeare is good at wordplay. You're good at wordplay. Because the show is about searching, so it could be a good idea to have people searching around for the episode documentos and you know the fresh maker remember those commercials yeah I don't know where you physically hide them by sitting on a wet paint bench then Dave Grohl did that

I don't know how they would do that but I like the idea that people would it's like an interactive kind of like choose your own adventure of how to get an episode when they were having fun well you put a USB stick in. It's just one guy. Oh, I see what you're saying.

So it would be a literal USB and you'd find them around the city. You'd find the episode around the city. Foo Fighters are too serious these days. There's just a one, though. Yeah, okay. Well, I think that's a creative idea. The red hot chili pepper.

And it could be just painted like a leaf or a sticker. So cool. So it would be like hidden in the environment. I feel like they're not cool to wear in these days. They used to be great. They're so freaky and weird. If you have 50 or 100 of these USBs, that's how you get season two. I mean, I don't know. Thanks, little bratty.

Thanks, Scott. Do you want to say anything to these guys? Probably just one. Which guys is it? With every episode on Scott. Okay, so there would be Do you want to say anything to these guys? Probably just one. Which guys is it? With every episode on it. It's Hayes. And you have to cut it down for them so they can

fit on there. That guy searching for Sugarman, the Rodriguez guy. Yuck. Remember how Yes, Sugarman. J. Jonah Jameson, he wanted pictures of Sugarman.

Hayes, you want to say something to Scott? Oh, Scott, can he hear me? Get me Sugar Man! So he can hear me? Yeah, he can hear you now. Hi, Scott. Hey.

Hey, Scott. What? Ew. Oh, okay. Ask him about his rash. I don't feel comfortable asking him about his. Well, I don't feel comfortable either because this thing's freaking huge. And it would be nice.

So it seems like he had a weird reaction when you first talked. It would be probably nice for you to tell him that you love him. And that you're in love with him. Yeah, I don't feel comfortable. Just to like calm him down a little bit. Well, Scott, I have had a rash before. I'm well-versed in rashes, so I'm sorry that you have a rash. I hope it gets better soon.

Way to miss the point. He doesn't want it to get better. He wants it to be bigger. Okay. I want it to be frigging huge. I put on like six pounds of rash. Okay. Well, I hope you get that taken care of.

Yeah. Good luck. Good luck with that. It seemed like we were talking past each other. And again, just a quick I love you. I'm not going to say that. He can fire me. I literally don't care.

I absolutely could care less. I'm just here for whatever many minutes trying to get through this. And like I said early in the podcast, I'm a team player. And at this point, I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed. Hey, gang. God. What's Zappos? It's a shoe website.

No. Okay. That's not what I'm looking at. What? Seem like, sound like a ray gun or something. Zappos.com? Zappos. Okay.

I'm so, like... Just... Scott, I love you. I love you. Could be a good name for candy, too. Mix my Pop Rocks with my Zappos. Cool. I'm getting another call.

Okay, bye. The police! Bye, Scott. He seems a little mentally ill. No. Oh, God, I should have said that on a podcast. He seems a little mentally ill. No. Oh, God, I should have said that on a podcast. He's smart and funny and cool. Oh, sorry.

And he's the boss of this whole place. I forgot. I love him and I'm in love with him. But that's not going to be on the... You're going to edit that. The phone calls are not... You said they're not going to be on the podcast, right? The first one is not going to be on.

That one, I think, does have to stay in just because we only have so much time, even with the extended recording. Okay. And you can't cut a mention of the police on our podcast. How much longer? It's destruction of evidence. Okay.

Well, we bumped the next show. We're kind of into that record time now. Is there one after that? How many cryptos do we have? How many problems have you done? Four. Four cryptos? Yeah. I have four of them. That's a lot of crypto.

I'm just trying to play along. That's more than anyone's ever done. Okay, good. You might be secretly a math genius. That's more than anyone's ever done. Okay, good. You might be secretly a math genius. That's a really smart number of cryptos to have done. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And we appreciate it.

Mm-hmm. So about the possum stuff. You know, you obviously don't want it to be a successful story. You don't want us to have the address. You don't want us to know sort of what brand the dog food was. You know, you don't want to reach for the Heinz. You want to reach for the ketchup. Right.

No, I can tell. I can tell. It's just that I feel like the moment passed and now it's like not a great story anymore. I just can we talk about like. We'll just stick this back where it was. I feel like I'm like i'm fairly interesting so if you want to ask another question or like okay what what's the kind of stuff that you want to talk about um i mean i don't know i just like acting and stuff well i i so here's something trippy uh-huh you're acting playing an actress yeah no it's fun

is that like the greatest challenge I mean because you're acting like you're acting right so you're not playing yourself but in a way Kathleen you are it's okay I go by Meredith

yeah Edith Hamburgers okay yeah no thank you that's yeah it's fun. It's fun playing an actress. I think there's so much humor and being an actress is such a funny

and sad kind of job. Does that fuck you up? How do you actually get out of that character because you're still in it when you leave, really? Yeah, I'm not, really. I don't want to go home. I'm not still playing her. You know what I mean?

You must be so fucked up from that. Yeah, I'm really not. But, yeah. Only thing worse is the Joker in terms of roles you could take on. Yeah. Is it hard not doing your real voice? Yeah.

Yeah. Do you want to not doing your real voice? Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to do it, just do your real voice? It's kind of my, it is my real voice. Oh. Okay, but did, I mean, before we started recording, you were speaking with your normal accent. With your normal accent. Oh, right. Will, I'm actually from, you know, Australia, but I don't really know. That's, that's, I don't. You're not comfortable talking in your normal voice?

Yeah. She's so fucked up from the character. Yeah, no, I, no, I, I, I was thinking, you know, when I was struggling a few years ago, I was like, maybe if I do an Australian accent, that'll make me more castable or interesting. You had to do it. Yeah, but I didn't actually really commit to that. I was joking about

like, oh, that'd be funny if... You've worked with a few of the characters. Sorry? You've worked with the characters. Are you going to be one of the characters from Netflix as a character? Oh, oh, oh, no. But I have worked with some people.

Yeah, from the characters. From the characters, yeah. They're really, really funny. Which is your favorite of the characters? I really liked John and Kate's and Lauren Lapkus's. I thought Lauren Lapkus's was amazing. Are you just laughing all the time about the characters? I feel like it came out like a year ago or so.

Okay. But you're working with them. I mean, are you just like laughing constantly? I really thought it was funny when I watched it, but I'm not constantly thinking about that, the Netflix show, the characters. But it is a really great show. They're really funny on it.

This is Kevin. Hey, Kevin. Hey. Kevin, sit down. I don't have a mic. Kevin just whispered, I don't have a mic. Like, that's what I care about. Yeah.

I just want you seated. Like I have to work for him. Nice to see you, Kevin. Hi, Meredith. Hi. Thanks for coming. Oh, yeah. Thanks for having me.

You're welcome. Bye. I'm a horny girl wolf. This has been an Earwolf production. Executive produced by Scott Aukerman, Colin Anderson, and Chris Bannon. For more information and content, visit Earwolf.com. Ow. That was a HeadGum Podcast.