Hollywood Handbook - Michael Ian Black, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: June 9, 2026

The Boys get a hold of thespian MICHAEL IAN BLACK to help them develop their next project. Check out Have I Got News For You on CNN or HBO Max!   Get a Hat Pack Hat here! Check out Sean and Hayes’s bonus shows at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Listen on the iHeartRadio App!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This season on my podcast, here's the thing. I talk to composer Mark Shaman. It's about the hang. It's the pleasure of hanging out with the people that you're with. You know, Rob and I was always a great hang. And director Morgan Neville. Film School

teaches you all the wrong things about making documentary. What do you want to say? Documentary all by your ear. What do you hear? I feel like my job is listening really, really hard. Listen to Here's the Thing on the IHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So I was thinking this morning about where we kind of went wrong. One second. And where we diverged from the kind of right. righteous path and got to this place we are in where it is this puritanical sort of shame-based culture. Yeah. And there's, I mean, it's handmade tail. It's essentially handmade tale.

It's like, I mean, if you extend it, you know, to its logical conclusion and how do we fight back? And Michael, I'd like you to participate because I do think that I can actually, well, I can pinpoint the moment. Do you see a handmade tale? Do you watch this? I don't want, I don't own a television. I don't watch television. But have you been to a, a lot of times they have been restaurants now.

You could ask me if I've read the Margaret Atwood novel. Uh-huh. Yeah, have you seen that? Have you seen this? Have you seen this? The novel cover? Yeah, I've seen the novel cover. I have the book.

I've seen every word. What? Seen every word. There's not a word in it he hasn't seen. I've seen the words. I haven't seen, yeah. But I loved it. I loved it. I haven't read it, but I loved it. Yes, and it's so important. And I, and I, and it's a warning.

And as I look at our own, and obviously the artist reflecting life, as I look at our own journey societally, what I'm realizing is we have an opportunity to push back. And I think that at midnight tonight, all of us, and anybody else we can get in on this, we need to post I don't have an account on this thing anymore but we need to post on X, formerly Twitter two words

sex gifts in solidarity with the actor Dean Norris who played Hank Shrader on Breaking Bad who I suppose accidentally tweeted this one day maybe he meant to type it into a search bar and everyone shamed him that was the

and they claseless on him and they laughed at him. That was the inflection point. That was the inflection point where from that point forward, it's all, okay, well, how do we put that toothpaste back in the tube where you're not allowed to try to search for sex gifts and accidentally post it publicly and never take it down? Is that what we're saying? And instead of when someone's in the pit, instead of pointing and saying,

that guy's in the pit, isn't he from breaking bad? Mm-hmm. and you get under the dome with him. Get under the dome. And that's Breen. That's what Breen says. Do you see that? When you guys are going to be on this podcast,

I thought, oh, this will be a fun industry podcast. We'll have a laugh, we'll joke around. I didn't realize who was going to get this deep, this quick. We didn't either.

Like, this is the world we live in. You know what I mean? We don't plan this, Mike. What we got to do is we love to go back to laughing and chopping it up, but like this, like the world won't let us these days. Yeah, it's so important that we, you know, a lot of people, a lot of people's attention is

focused on what's going on in like Washington, D.C. Yeah. But not enough people, I feel like, are paying attention to what's going on in Dean Norris's search history. That part. That part. Mm-hmm. And does it raise uncomfortable questions? Is that, why people are maybe avoiding it. Yeah, it does. But if we don't confront those questions, we don't make progress. We don't move forward. You know what? I didn't want to look at it at first, Mike, because I see myself.

That's why I didn't want to look at it because I was seeing me. He's in a lot of the gifts. Yeah. I see myself in the gifts. Richie, are you okay? So Richie, so just so you know, because you're not in the room with us. So. Richie just sustained a grievous head injury.

He was trying to crawl under the monitor that we're looking at you on, and he stood up too early, and he really broadsided this thing with his shoulder blade, and it looked really painful. And so, and I think he's going to adjust the camera a little bit, and now we're back in. Can you get on camera, Richie, so Michael can see you're okay. Just want to say hi, just so he knows that you're healthy and you're fine. Okay. It took a couple tries, but we got the angle, Casey. Thank you.

Michael is an empath, and so that actually really hurt him. Will he do me a favor, Richie? So he's going to put his headphones out. Richie Michael's talking about. Yeah. I'm back on. He said, will you do me a favor? You respond, please?

The answer is yes, Richie. Yes. For my own peace of mind, will you go through the NFL concussion protocol? I'd be a lot more comfortable, Richie. Casey, we got a blue tent over there? This isn't the kind of thing. Because we don't need to see that. Yeah. Yeah, I would I would get I would get one of the team doctors out here, Tootsweet,

and get some Gatorade. If we're doing the NFL protocols, let's get some Gatorade. Again, I think the blue tent is a great idea. Did you consult? Did you consult on those protocols, Michael? I know it's a passionate years. You're a bit of a wheelchair medical box. Well, I spent nine years in the NFL, as you know. I won two rings during my time in the NFL. And when here's the thing here's the thing that people who aren't professional football players what do they get wrong yeah what do they get wrong when you suit up for an nflictators are gladiators we they're they're gladiators we're modern day gladiators in the back of our heads when we say we're going to leave it all out on the field that's not that's not hyperbole it's not a term phrase that that might mean your

life that's right it definitely needs all your clothes on and talk when we talk and he froze that's also another thing he did freeze i think he's processing that and i think what might be happening is he's choosing his words extremely carefully which we always encourage we do talk and but when we go out there we know that we might not come back yeah once we leave the game yeah okay once once guys are beat up and battered and retired where they get cut then you start thinking about oh geez what was i doing to my body and then as an ex-player. Yeah.

Although you're never really out of the game. You know what I mean? Once you're in, you're in. Once you're an ex-player, your attention starts focusing on the guys coming up. And they don't want to hear about the concussions. They don't want to hear about the injuries because for them, they're still in Gladiator. They're invincible. Oh, nothing's ever going to happen to me.

Right. Right. And you have to have that mind. You don't want to look at that. part of it. Yes, because you can't play scared. Not in this game. No, this is war, guys. This is war out there. And yeah, when I was throwing my body around, when I was winning those two rings, I wasn't worried about concussions. I wasn't worried about my knees. I wasn't worried about my meniscus. I wasn't worried about any of it. You were back at the damn W and you did.

And the side of my right. And I was using camera left and camera right. Brothers. And that's Richie's job too, which is what they call. It's kind of a new profession. They don't really have a name for it yet. They just call it Richie's job. They don't know what it is. But he sits over there and he is wearing eye black. He has Bruce 214 written on it, which is a passage from a book that he wants us to read. It's a good book. It might be Is it a novella of Bruce Almighty? I think it might be a novella of Bruce Almighty, which he thinks is the Bible. Is that possible?

I know Bruce Valanche released a book not that long ago, and I was curious whether that was the Bruce in question, but we are thinking it's Bruce Almighty. I mean, just because of it's related to being God, I don't know. Bruce Valanche is also related to God. I mean, Jesus Christ, the God of the one-liner.

It's like, you name me a power more almighty when it comes to, you know, the wicked hen. You're not going to find it. You're not going to find it. You don't get to be center square without talking to the big man upstairs. I don't think so. You ever done one of these before, Mike? One of which? one of what

one of these done one of these bad birds brother one of a pod have I done a podcast with popping your fucking cherry hair brother or what yeah have you done a podcast you ever done one of these things

this is my first is that what you want to hear this is my first I wish more people would say that you wouldn't know it we get so many people coming in here and saying oh yeah I've had my own two or three podcasts

oh a podcast right Yeah, and you can like, it's okay. They want to seem like their old hands at this, whatever. It feels like it's my first time every time too. You don't got to put on a show for us. It's all love. Here's the thing, guys. Tell me the thing, please.

This is obviously important for you. And when I walk through your door and I wipe my feet on your welcome mat. And I sit down in the studio. And we have this interview. My job, the way I see it, is to support you. My job is to make you guys look as awesome as you can look. So if that means I come in here and I have to play dumb, what's a podcast? No, I've never done a podcast before.

And that's what I'm going to do. The first damn guest who understood the assignment. You know what I mean? who we do there's a lot of people who and we talk about this they come on to do a show Michael and they say

what can I get right what's there for me I'm here I have a TV show I want people to watch yeah can I tell

can I talk to people about my book or my project or my podcast Riz Ahmed when when Riz was there Riz Ahmed

When you come on a podcast or a television program, what have you, to be interviewed. Mm-hmm. About you. It's about the host. New. It's about the host. Well, the host is there every week. So people are tuning in for the host.

That's the show. For some random jerk-off actor who, you know, was the second supporting lead on some C.W. dromedy from 1994, they're there to see you. And if that actor or actress shows up and they contribute a little something, they sprinkle a little stardust, so much the better. But that's not why people are tuning in. They're tuning in for you guys. That's why I'm here.

It's the same damn thing that happened to you when you were on the field in the NFL, which is I'm going to do my fucking job. That's right. You could come with me or you can be in my way. But if you're in my way, you're getting steamroll. Well, let's support you in supporting us, just so where, all on the same page about like what works and what doesn't. Hey, one hand wash the other.

Everyone here. Everyone here is like pretty nice. I don't know if I can do it. The heart with the hands. I was trying to, I almost had it, but my other fingers were in the way. Yeah. Oh, and you can do. Yes.

You have to wrap all your fingers and then you get a perfect little. Oh, that's so good. Let's meet everyone real quick. You met Richie. He might have forgotten because of. The head injury is sustained a little bit ago. Yeah. This is Richie.

Do not let him go to sleep. Don't let him shut his eyes. Do not let him go to sleep. I'll try and stay away. The blood's drying up a little bit too. But who else we got today? Casey's in there. The way I knew Casey was in the booth.

And again, you're not here, which is fine. We do this all the time. The way I knew it was Casey was when Richie went to get on camera. There are three cameras in here. and Casey tried the other two first. And so I said, well, I know who's working the booth today. Because when he leaned in front, and you probably felt this, we saw fully his back and ass.

Then we saw just a piece of his shoulder, and then we got his face. And Casey likes to build suspense. He likes to build tension. And it's something that can't be taught, you know, That drama in the podcasting space. That's just classic story structure. And we have to applaud that.

And can I tell you something that a reputation? I'd rather you didn't. So let's just put a pin in that. So that, hold on to. Michael, Michael, let me rephrase that.

Okay. I feel I must tell you something. Ah, okay. Oh, he has no choice then. A, something you've built in your career that I've noticed. Is it that late millennium falcons? It's a little like that, Michael.

Usually when someone comes on the Zoom, Casey and Kevin and the other producers like to make sure that they're wearing headphones, that they're using a recording app or something like that. It's endless the amount of fencing they will do with these guests in order to get some sort of like quality recording from them. They also, they forbid us from talking for a lot of it. Your presence has created an environment of the first time ever where they have just shut the fuck up and let the show just happen.

You have neutralized two of our greatest enemies. Our producer and our engine. And you built that. You have to understand. You have to understand something. I'm a classically trained actor. So when I speak to you, I'm using the entire instrument. part. Right. So what is the microphone do? The microphone amplifies it, you know, it digitizes

it sends. I don't need that because I'm classically trained. So when I breathe from the diaphragm, back of the house, right? I'm projecting as a classically trained actor and that projection goes through the internet and out on your side. You can speak in a high definition lossless vocal tone. the same way Larry Olivier could project to the back of the proscenium we don't need quick time because your timing is impeccable

please tell your production staff that I speak in flack I use that methodology I don't know what you call it I use that format Michael I don't use M23 because the sound quality is better so when I speak it's in flack Michael will you invite me into your mind

Palace for a moment. Who do you imagine in the back of the house as you're projecting? And I know these tricks because you are classically trained. And you're not just talking to some nameless, faceless audience member back there. There's a memory you're accessing. And there's an individual that we speak to. A woman. And it's a woman. And it has to be. Of course. It's who. And it's getting it could be your grandma. It could be a sexual partner. You know, we can talk about. that we can talk about that here now the so we're now we're getting into process and craft and if we may a lot of actors are reluctant to talk about the process because especially now they want you to see they want you to see the finished performance you know well not only not only

that not only that michael but they want to pull the ladder back up behind them don't they don't they put the ladder back up Michael where they say where they say where they say where they say only for me only I get to have some only I enjoy the toys and what I've always respect what I've always admired and I know I'm interrupting you is that you go can everybody get in here

there plenty to go around take the ladder and throw a rope down as well yeah here's the ladder and by the way actually I built the whole fucking escalator it's not working right now, but it's there. So you can rest the ladder and they can grip the ladder as the ladder itself is carried up the escalator. And there's a rope just in case, and a rope with a bucket too.

Because we need to hoist something. We need a pulley system as well. So important, you guys, and so critical. But I interrupted you. I'm so glad. No, it's an important point you made and I'm glad. I'm glad you raised it. Now, I do want to just put a quick caveat into what you said,

because I agree with everything that you're saying. However, I want to make sure the audience, your audience understands that when we talk about constructing an escalator, oh, yeah, those guys. We're using union labor. Oh, yeah. I just want everybody, I want to be very clear about that. Because otherwise they will get extremely violent.

I don't want, I don't want, I don't want, I don't want them picketing my mind palace. I'm not a bad actor. When I am projecting, let's say I'm at the old Vic, let's say I'm doing Lear again, there's a couple things going on. Obviously, I'm in my given circumstances. I'm Lear. I'm addressing my daughters. Yeah.

I'm going, I'm slowly going mad. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm impurious. Can we just, can we just explain to the. like the audience you know try to remember the audience he's talking about Dennis Leary as you yes as you mention the audience we also want to bring them in yeah yes and this is a

a famous rant that he went on that is now performed it's a rant to his daughters yeah and he's he's talking about the sort of modern phenomenon of the star buxification of society and it's a beautiful

model it's a beautiful piece. But it is, you know, it builds to this crescendo of its mocha frapa chocolate. Can I get a cup of coffee? You know, what happened to a cup of mud, a cup of Joe? And just drip coffee, please. And his daughters, of course, are silent. Oh, yeah. Well, what people don't know, if you've never seen Leary, it's, it's it's performed all over the world as you said I think last count it's in almost every it's been translated into almost every language yeah not Spanish but yeah oh they did not they did they just doesn't work it just yeah it's a big deal they haven't cracked it not for like a trying um and what people don't know is if you haven't seen it the play is performed one performer uh in this case me

I'm playing all the parts so I'm playing Dennis Leary I'm playing the daughters um I'm playing the Frappuccino at a certain point. The barista, the pretentious barista. Yes, the anxious barista. There's 23 different characters. It's a three and a half hour show. It's taxing. It's exhausting.

And so, yes, I'm keeping my given circumstances in mind. But I'm also cognizant of the fact that we've asked these people, this audience, to pay $650 per ticket to sit for three and a half hours. And I want to make sure everybody has a perfect eye line. I want to make sure everybody can hear me. And I want to make sure that woman, who you referenced in the back row, is just as invested as all of the celebrities in the front row. Because obviously, when I do, Larry, you know, you get, you get, you get a turn out. There's going, yeah, there's going to be sort of.

It's inevitable. The Obama's going to show up, right? Vince Vaughn is there three times a week. I don't know why. I agree. Yeah. And his story himself is often there. But in my mind, who I'm speaking to isn't my grandmother.

It's not a sexual partner. It's a 12-year-old person of color. She's in seventh grade. She's starting to think for the first time about, what do I want to do with my life? What do I want to be? Is she sick or something? Is she wounded? Something bad happened?

No, she's got a terminal illness. Oh, no. Yeah, it's true. But the parents are like, her parents are like, you know, Olivia, you're going to be fine. You know, we just need to get this way. She's not going to be fine. So she's thinking, what am I going to do with my life?

She doesn't know she's going to be dead in six months. I want to make sure. Olivia can hear every word, understand every word, and is able to forget about. her terminal illness. She doesn't know his terminal. She thinks it's just going to be chronic. For those three and a half hours.

That's who I'm thinking about. 12-year-old. Minority. Olivia Wilde, but if she were a person of color. And probably questioned her own sexuality. With a terminal illness that she thinks is chronic. She's become vicarious. Directing and acting chops,

but that will never be realized. unbeknownst to all except you, the performer, who is getting a read on every single person in that. And people say Lear is a tragedy, you know, and there's also a tragedy taking place in the back of the, in the back of the audience for you. I want to touch on ticket prices because you mentioned $650 a ticket for the back of the balcony.

There's been some criticism. You come under fire a little bit for the, for the sort of inflated, you know, cost. And people think maybe that we're talking about secondary markets, and it's not, it's not that. It's not retail. This is face value. And I have a question I want to pose.

Face value. And you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, the value of the face is quite high. There's a, there's a question I want to pose to your critics. And you don't have to even be here for this part. if you want to go get a glass of water or something. How much should a memory cost? How much should a memory cost?

Can you put a price on a memory? It's probably 800 bucks, right? You can't. Well, you mean, you can. Yeah, of course you do. Like, we got a pizza the other night and it was 35 bucks. So I remember that. Yeah, right.

So it could be 35 bucks. Yeah. Yeah. With tip, it was 35. Depends on the memory, too, I guess. Yeah. Depends on which one. Some of them are free. I would like to say something to those critics, too.

Because obviously, I hear the criticism. Did I turn the volume down on me? Because I know you could get a little bit fired up, you know, because it's, by the way, they're coming for, you know, your livelihood. Yeah. what they don't know, what those critics don't know, is yes, the tickets started $650. Mm-hmm. Sorry, start with what they do know.

It'll be a shorter episode. Right. There are a lot they don't know. Go ahead. Go ahead. If the whole episode were us saying. If the whole episode was filling at one of these two, you know, categories. If that were like, if these critics do know would be only talking about that,

that would be a very short. We're obviously going to cover other things. We like to wander around a little bit and like we go on tangents. We'll cover other stuff and we have. If we were under the under the very strict, you know, sort of constriction, strict constriction. That can't be right. But at any way, how do we phrase it? We wouldn't do that.

If we were only doing one of them, I'm just supporting you. But go ahead. What is it that they don't know? What they don't know. is yes, the tickets started $650 and they go up from there. What they don't know is that I insisted that we

set aside a block of tickets every single performance for people who can't afford to pay those kinds of prices. So we set aside an entire block of two tickets for people who

just pay what they can. And have like industry connections of some kind, like who. Oh, no, you need to know somebody. Right. You absolutely know someone and know someone who like it would be advantageous for you as a performer in your career to potentially be connected to. Right. No, no, no, no. When I said people who can't afford it, I was hoping it was implied. Yeah. People who can afford it who can help me. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And they do they don't want to pay, but they know somebody who, yeah. So this is a podcast about video.

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were becoming. 2016 was sort of that last era of monoculture, where we still consumed things in community. From Beyonce and Rihanna. Everybody wanted to be Beyonce. I don't think we'll ever see another Rihanna. To soul food, memory, identity, and the stories we carry through black culture. What does it mean to be black? And eat in America.

So we were these group of people who knew how to work the land, who knew how to live with the land. We make it do what it do. Therapy for Black Girls is bringing together the conversation shaping Black Life right now. You will never make me feel bad for being a black girl, for being a Black American girl, ever. Therapy for Black Girls is bringing it all to the mic. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Michael. Director or something, yeah.

Talk about not being able to put a price on a memory. I'm remembering when we were colleagues together at either. at Earwolf when you were doing Mike and Tom eat snacks and topics and we were there. And I know I asked you if you've done one of these before.

Obviously, the game has changed. One of these is not the same as one of those. Have you done a podcast? Yeah. Have you done one of these? But like, it's a little different. Like, if I could go back and say to, earwolf me

like what this was going to become I would blow my own braids I would eat a bullet and I and I and I would say I would say to younger me and I'm sure you've had these moments I would say if you can do literally anything else

if you don't have to do this go do that but you know what I would say what it's going to be hard what earwolf me would say to me now I'd say, don't you remember old man? You can't. You can't do anything else. Yeah.

This is, to pretend that it's a choice. You got the call. To pretend that it's a choice is the thing that actually, that's the great comedy, I think that occurs sometimes in this business. There is still comedy being made. It's every time somebody asks you, like, when did you decide to become?

I didn't choose this. It chose me, guys. Yeah. It chose me. but it's different. The snacks are different. Mm-hmm. Here's the thing.

And you alluded to this before. Mm-hmm. When you look like this, yeah. What am I going to do? Get a job at a bank? Face card. Oh, great.

Black card. Line around the block, nobody can get their money out. So yeah, that's, oh, that's great. What am I going to do? I'm going to work in an office. I'm going to, you know, I'm going to work with my hands. No, I'm going to work with what God gave this.

You're there so much. it's like you work there at the bank. Well, yeah, I don't have a choice. When the money comes in, the money comes in. You're laughing all the way there. They're not going to send someone else to go get it. You're making us laugh. Now he's laughing.

They'll steal it. No, I, most of my money these days is tied up in Ethereum. Ethereum classic or? Yeah, I went with classic. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

That's fine. And then I've got, you know, my NFT portfolio. Mm-hmm. kind of took a nose dive but i think i'm buying on the dip i keep buying i think those bored apes are coming back mm-hmm you can't keep a bored ape down there's something about to me bored apes are boring apes and so that's not a quality i'm attracted to it's an investment it's an investment class you're not you know you don't yeah it's not where i like to invest my time boring apes get bored

I have an entire theater of my imagination going on at all times. Maybe there's a curious ape out there who was there all along that we could be investing our time in instead. And maybe we could buy his stories. It's a branding issue. And maybe those will grow in value over time. I don't even think you need to change the artwork. I think it's branding, I think it's language, I think it's marketing, I think Michael, you're buying up these board apes, go ahead and start calling them something else.

Let me ask you some. I'm interested in here. You may not like this idea, but I feel like that I feel like I got a feeling I will. You might be like it. It's your idea. I think I'm like it. I think of the exact same thing. I hope you will.

I'm just going to pitch this out. It just came to me now. board ape curious ape what about a co-lab between curious ape

curious ape george you nailed it curious george oh my you're getting it get it get it take it yeah get it's probably

Hollywood put them on speaker no I'm not even going to deal with it because they can wait they'll wait it'll be there yeah

it just drives up my value when I don't pick up Yes. Sometimes you have to tell them no. Mm-hmm. In order to get, yes. Curious ape, George.

Mm-hmm. Curious ape George. I mean, I'm picturing, I'm picturing scholastic books. I'm picturing happy meals and obviously NFTs. I wouldn't know I get Mountain Dew on the horn as well. I just want to make sure we're, it's schooltastic. Oh, oh, it's schooltastic. It's not, you said it in like a weird way.

It's schooltastic. When we're speaking extemporary. And we're speaking so quickly. Yeah. It's easy to mess up. The schooltastic book fair, the, like, all that. It's, it's, it's not, it's not whatever you said. It's like a school early, school or adventure.

And so. We had a nice little thing going. I think it's nice. Let's just say for me, I like to treat people how I like to be treated. I like to learn. A little bit of a golden rule. I like to improve my performance. If I get something wrong, you respect me by telling me what I got

wrong, understanding that I can do better. Your mind palace has something in its teeth, essentially. And we don't want you to go out into the day and a big piece of spinach hanging out. That part. I definitely like appreciate this and hear you. And I think feedback is so important, which is why I'm going to give you some feedback. It's not called the schoolastic book fair. It is called the Scholastic book fair.

And I don't know where. What would that mean? What would it mean? The kids all got scoliosis or something. By the way, it's fine if they do. You're asking for slastic means? I'm saying what would it mean if it were real, which is that school is fantastic and it also includes a lot of these great books.

I prefer school-tastic. Well, so do we. I like things that are correct. I don't want to derail the whole episode and get bogged down in the school-tastic, which, you know, it was correct versus whatever the, you know, chewing skull, taking a big old fat dipper, a skull, you know, in school. Yes. It's like that.

100 times, yes. I don't like that. I just feel like. Go ahead. Now that we've cleared the air in the scholastic schooltastic, I want to circle back. Let's get into it. Curious A. George.

And maybe getting Mount Dew involved. I wouldn't mind having a, you know, some more established corporate backing for this. Can we get Jack Black to voice it? Not you having the same ideas me. Not that. No, you having the same ideas me too. No, not you having the same ideas me. Jack Black.

And he's going to. going, and I don't do a Jack Black, but he's going, you know, like he's sort of riffing out. As you doing a guitar sound with his mouth. As in curious, George, and Mountain Dew is there? Am I? No wonder he's got so much energy. Am I crazy for going straight to the yellow hat and thinking like,

how can we 26 that? How can we take the yellow hat, which is just a two liter bottle of Mountain Dew, it's still yellow. Right. I think we get Cynthia or Rivo. I think we get Cynthia or Rivo. Cynthia or Riva. If Cynthia, if Cynthia is available and it's a big if,

man of yellow hat. It's a big if. She's wearing a two liter bottle of Mountain Dew made to look more yellow. than it currently is. And we act like it was always that color. I think we're doing a signature flavor for the release of the film. I think we are.

Yeah. You know, I think it's banana. I literally said it before you. And it was, I literally said that before you. Banana. You know,

and now I'm part of this. I wasn't listening at the beginning of it, but we're talking about a banana now. And I love that. And that is why it's being yellow about. good. I hate that. It's so good. That's pissing me all of. I know. We're coming out of it. We just got into the ballpark. We're not going to where. Where were you? Yeah. I got nowhere to go from here. You know, that's what I'm worried about is like,

uh-oh. There's no way to improve it. So I, I, I'm really excited about the board apes curious George collaboration Mountain do Cynthia O'Rivo and Jack Black and at Beneta flavor. and it's just a question of I know there's going to be a bidding war do we have a favorite do we have somewhere we're aiming at because if we know that I think we can strategize this

go ahead I'm just like uni I think is going to be all over this yeah that was my first thought to uni Sunni pictures uni uni and Sunni I think are probably the two big players in the game I'd like to immediately

rule out Apple because I think they're going to want to change banana to Apple. Oh yeah. Yeah. I think that's And so what I would say is what I would say is you can't have us. By the way, that might mainly I'm actually come over the top.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The only, I feel like the only thing left is to figure out something for Shalamee to do. Should the minions be there? I think so. So the minions are there with Shalame. Mm-hmm.

it's interesting as we talk about uni as we talk about the minions I saw and I don't know if you were here for this Michael French's mustard did an installation the other day Monsters and minions coming soon

did you go to that installation were you at the installation? No I have not secured my tickets to the installation and I and I knew you weren't there because I would have seen you

because I basically set up shop and he shut it there. He shut it down. Oh yeah. They had to drag me out of that thing. Yes, quite lit. Gumi, Dominion's new friend, Gumi,

little green monster, who they've accidentally created. Gumi turned the mustard green. For our purposes, it's not ideal. We're working in the space of yellow. Mm-hmm. Could the curious George Bored ape

turn Gumi yellow? as a sort of revenge epic the whole journey, yes, is to turn Gumi yellow then he has to apologize to the mustard

I'm nervous about involving Gumi at all honestly Can we talk about IP real quick? Yeah, please. Yes, let's introduce this

the monsters Oh my God, Hollywood enough. Does that Mountain Dew or yeah? Oh, it's my wife, white, well,

that's after a while you don't talk to her. Mike, I just want to let you know you're killing. that's your wife. Yeah. My wife calls me a lot when I'm recording.

Mike, I'm listening outside the door. I know this call. I know this call. And it's just like, don't change a damn thing. I'm right outside the door. I'm listening to the episode and this is why I married you. Yes.

Yeah. I can't believe I get this for free. It's a congratulatory call. I can't believe I get this shit for free every day. People just have to pay 800 bucks. I'll talk about the IP because minions monsters, that's a DreamWorks property? The minions monsters are, it's eliminated. The minions monsters are illumination, which is property of Sunni pictures.

Elimination. Okay. So we're going to, okay, so I'm going to have to do a Japan trip just to sort of hammer this out. Yes. Is this fine? Are we getting suits while we're there? And let me guess, they love you there. And it's not a guess.

I'm sure of it. I mean, yeah. Yeah, don't make me do this. Okay. It's lost in transit translation. You're over there. You're making money. Everything about that movie is the same,

except you are actually converting that relationship at the end. And not a little, yeah, it's not a tease. There's no will, they won't they? They will and they do. We land the plane. Yeah, no, they did. And it's a fucking jumbo jet. We land the plane on that one.

It's a fucking jumbo jet. In Finland, it's a jumbo jet. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And that makes... Bail. Yeah. It's just, it's weird.

I'll be honest. It's weird. Massive. Massive. Cavernous. Mm-hmm. Yep. And we don't got to...

We don't got to go any further than that. No. I think we've described the right about. I think maybe we said Shalamay for Gumi. Chalamee for Gumi is exactly what I'm thinking. up, but Hayes said he didn't know if he wanted to get Gumi involved at all. I would love to say that solves it for me. And it does.

Yeah. So then. And I do love it. So just to very quickly recap, just to make sure, because it's for the audience and for Casey and for Casey and for everyone else involved. And for Richie, who, are you going to be sick, Richie? If he's, if he's throwing up. That's not.

He is throwing up, but that's not. That's not a, right? That's not a, like, you know, it's a day that ends him why. Just a little dizzy. Put him in an ice bath. Again, this is all like normal. No, the second we're a record. He throws up there in the record.

He takes ice bath. He's in an ice bath. Yeah. His eyes are crossed, but like vertically, one's going up, what's going down. It's, that's fine. It's Ethereum, it's, it's Ethereum being invested into NFT. the board curious ape George just curious ape George

it's I think it's curious ape George and forget the board although we will be speaking to the board the board of Mountain Dew because they're going to get involved as a two liter bottle of Mountain Dew on top of Cynthia Rivo's head Jack Black is the voice

of the ape he's rigatum doom doom doom you know speaking um doom top take dumb blah and he's doing this and there is Gumi involved. Timothy Shalameh is Gumi as punishment for his crimes. He is

being turned yellow. Yeah. Cynthia O'Revo. Cynthia O'Revo is doing the Mountain Dew on the head. With Mountain Dew on the head is yellow banana flavor. And what I like about it is that it's hitting all four quadrants. It's hitting everybody. We're going Oonie. We're going

Sunni. We're going to Japan. The property, which is division of Sunni, is Elumination looking at the landscape of media right now. Should we do Ablomination?

And get Blum in here? Get Blum. Can you get Jason Blum on the horn for me? I mean, is horror hot right now? Are you looking at these box office numbers? I'm sweating, looking at the box office numbers. That's a hot horror.

It's scary. Yeah. It's scary how hot horror is scary how much money they're making. And so I think that we do want to, and Goomy is a monster, by the way, so we can do this. We may want them to be tortured and killed or something like that, you know? Yeah. The show is called, Have I Got News for You, US?

It's on right now. It's on their TV right now. They turn on it's on. Well, we're on hiatus right now. It's on, it's on the cable news network. And we're on hiatus until the fall. So if you turn your TV on right now, I don't know. I don't know what's on your TV.

And they're all different. I'll turn on and wait. That's the magic of it. Every person's individual TV has a different... Well, Mike, it doesn't even have one. Movie on it. They don't even have one. No.

But if they crack open just to a random page of Margaret Outwood's handmade tale, perhaps they will be able to... Your osmosis and jest some of what you are transmitting on this show, yeah? The warnings. The truth. Yeah. All my commitment to this craft has always been about the truth and only the truth. So sometimes, look, sometimes the truth is funny.

sometimes we get a little chuckle and that's okay. Better than it. It's nice. It's nice, right? It feels good. No, it's nice. Sometimes the truth can hurt and that doesn't feel good. But in the end,

sorry. Bye. Bye. Okay. Can superstars even exist the way they used to? 2016 was sort of that last era of monoculture where we still consume things in community. Everybody wanted to be Beyonce at that point.

I don't think we'll ever see another beyond. What does it mean to be black and eat in America? You will never make me feel bad for being a black girl, for being a black American girl, ever. From music to food to the conversations shaping black culture right now, therapy for black girls is bringing it all to the mic. Listen to therapy for black girls on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

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