Hollywood Handbook - Mikal Cronin, Our Close Music

Episode Date: April 3, 2017

Big business has intervened in Sean and Hayes being able to do the show the way they want to so they get MIKAL CRONIN to join them and fight corporations with music. This episode is sponsored by MVMT Watches (www.mvmtwatches.com/hollywood) and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/first).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Peach orchard and collecting all the big peaches. And I got the biggest one. And then Mike gets an even bigger one. And he's on the leaderboard. And then Janet Ivanovich finds even a bigger peach. And so I'm hunting around at the top of the tree. Was that her? No. And it would be like peach for the money or something.

Is there a number in it sometimes? It's a number. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And so I'm hunting at the top of the tree. And a big condor, giant bird, strong, mean, start attacking us, eating all the peaches. And not even because he likes the peaches. I hate it. But just to steal.

And just so we can't have it. And you can tell that he's cruel in his soul. Yeah. And that's why. That's the pits. And the greed that he exhibits reminds me of some of these politicians we have. Yeah. Who they don't want it because they want it.

They want it so you don't have it. And that's how he's being with the peach. That should be their favorite bird. Which do look like a rumpus. The peach has been observed. Even the peach emoji remind me a little bit of having sex. So as I'm thinking about these things and fighting the bird, of course, I have a umbrella and I'm whacking away and keep popping it open and trying to look bigger than I am. Yeah.

Which I believe was, was it one of the Avengers? Wasn't that the old Avengers, not the new ones? Original, yeah. Yes. Eddie Izzard. Yes. Weren't they sort of umbrellying people? Yeah, they did have to use the umbrella.

And so I'm hitting with the umbrella, and Mike, who I always count on for a game plan, says, let's just get out of here. Let's not do this at all. Who gives a shit? Why do any of this? We all got a ton of dough. What brought us together?

Was it about the peaches or was it about our friendship? Right. And so, that actually made a lot of sense to me. It's peaches. It's like, whatever,

let's buy them at the store. We wound up going to the grocery store and buying a bunch. They have sense to me. Yeah, it's peaches. It's like, whatever, let's buy them at the store. We wound up going to the grocery store and buying a bunch. They have so many there. Yeah, and they don't allow birds in the grocery store, which is so nice. Except in the frigging turkey section. Oh, yeah. No, those birds are, yeah, in the same condition I'd like to see that condor in,

which is dead, plucked, skinned, and seasoned. And he didn't say cooked because eat it raw. You're supposed to eat birds raw. Well, think about in nature. Yes. Think about when some of these strong animals eat a bird. You see an oven nearby? Yeah.

You see them with a microwave? Or are they, in fact, just chomping and munching? Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names on the red carpet linebacker hallways of this industry we call showbiz. It is our annual music episode.

We love, this is like one of my favorite episodes of the year. I'm obsessed with music. I love thinking about different kinds of music. I know, Sean, that you're really into it as well. We had a lot of music that we wanted to talk about and play on the show today because often we will

spin some things on this episode. Just some stuff that we've been getting up on lately. We're always basically human Spotify discovers. And we are able to isolate like this is the hotness. This is the new track that's going to be popping off. This is the shit you didn't even know came out. Sometimes it came out a year or two ago.

Yes. And maybe it's not. People miss. Yes. And maybe it's not this, but this sample, I can take this track. I can take this track of it. I can isolate that. And now that could be just one part of the new hotness.

Yeah. And so as your human Spotify discover man, we are able to sort of make you aware of things you wouldn't know so that your life has grooves, hot grooves that you jam to. And everyone's listening,

getting so excited to listening to it. We got letters. Of their own Spotify discover. And I'm so sad to talk about how we can't do that this year and we can never do it again because of big business because of business and corporations because big business and corporate which we hate we all we have always hated corporations are probably our biggest enemy and now that maybe that's why this is happening to us because we have always been speaking out against so many of these corporations. My biggest enemies in order are mediocrity, the bird I mentioned earlier, and big business.

I would have to say mine is the status quo. Yeah, that's a big one too. So, okay. So, mediocrity. Okay, status quo. Let's agree. Number one, status quo. Yes.

Bush. Mediocrity. That bird. Yeah. I'd love to eat raw. And then big business corporation. So, this is why. I don't think they don't know we're gunning for them because they're now swatting back at us with their team of lawyers. And what do you call a billion lawyers at the bottom of the ocean on fire?

It's the best day of my whole life. Yeah. You call it frigging Christmas morning. So we get called into, I don't know, you know, this guy Colin, there's this guy Colin who runs the show now.

It's a revolving door of suits right here. I can hardly keep track of these guys. Oh God. But Colin is in charge now of ruining our lives. Probably named that

because he's freaking calling everyone at his office all day long. Yeah. And so, he calls us in there. Like, maybe we should just play the clip a bit because we are always openly recording these things with yes we have we have a i wear a t-shirt that says you are currently being recorded it says smile you're on

microphone and uh and then we have like a you know our phone sticking out of our pocket with a big speaker attached so that and i go talking to the friggin thing yes and i have a boom i'm sort of holding a boom so i like i i don't talk much in these things but uh this this is like the conversation that we had with um with with colin when he called us into his office all right mate why don't you have a seat then? Why don't we have a little chat then? I prefer to stand, bitch. Not stay for a couple.

I'll stand, bitch. All right. Well, I've been asked to tell you that... Spit it out, man. Well, the truth is, this music you all have been playing on the show, it's all gone a bit tits up, hasn't it? Do it in English, man. You're in America, man.

We saved your ass in World War II. Why don't you show a little respect? Well, it's some of this music, then. I'm getting all these calls from the different lawyers and the record company, barristers, sorry about that. Oh, lawyers, huh? What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish, brother? One's a scum-sucking creature,

bottom feeder, covered in slime, and the other one is just as bad. All right, well, I suppose I follow that logic. Unfortunately, they've asked you to stop playing music on the show.

No more samples. Why is your name that, man? Is it because you're always calling everybody in your office to friggin' chafe their butts? Well, it's like me dad is Colin Firth. Mmm. I love the Railroad Man

or whatever the fuck. You see that one? The Railway Man or something? I didn't know. It's crazy. But, so, anyway, you're talking about music. Hey, the boom is...

Sorry. In my... Yeah, sorry. I'm just so... I'm mad. I love music. I'm obsessed about music. Hey, the boom is in my... Yeah, sorry. I'm just so... I'm mad. I love music. I'm obsessed with music. We can't play music on the show anymore.

But you're putting the boom right in my mouth. I'm afraid it's so. I'm afraid it is. And we've all stepped out of line against the law every now and then. I am an illegal immigrant in this country, for example. I flew over, hiding under the Queen's dress. Oh. Got a bit of a little pixie there while I was down there.

Oh, you are so cheeky. Had a bit of a looky-loo, didn't I, while I was down there. That is too cheeky even for me. But now I am an illegal resident of the United States. What was the queen coming for? That doesn't matter. It's going to be some cheeky answer. All right, bitch.

So basically you're saying if we want to play any more music, we got to fight you or something. Is that right? Well, my real purpose here is to recruit foreign agents for me gang of young pickpockets. Oh, no. I work for a terrorist cell

run by the Underlord Fagin. So it's an entire city of your little foot soldiers running around pickpocketing. It's a city of thieves. And in fact, this is like Lies of Lacklamora, isn't it? I suppose it is.

This is like Lies of Lacklamora. I suppose it is a little bit like Lies of Lacklamora. Oh, no, Colin. Well, I don't want to be a part of that. That's insane. So, all right. Well, I'm not going to join your little team of thieves. Me neither. You're in bed with these corporate lawyer catfish, bottom of the ocean scum. I do love corporations and I love me a bit of business now. And that's one of our biggest enemies.

And so you now want us to fall in line with the business. And if not, you're going to shut down the show and burn all the tapes. I hadn't said that yet, but I was about to. That is what I intend to do. Burn the master recordings so they're not even on the internet anymore. Well, we can't have that. We care too much about our fans. Here's what we're going to do.

I don't have any respect for your fans and I don't want them to have a good time listening to your show, do I? Colin, I don't want to whomp you one. I don't want to do it because I don't want to go to jail for murder after one punch. So here's what we're going to

do. Bitch. You stay behind that desk. And you're being recorded, by the way. You stay behind that desk. I'm going to walk out of here. We're going to call one of our rock and roll friends. We'll do all new music, even better than the music we found anyway, because we're actually going to be involved from the ground floor. And we won't play it. And you and your corporate cronies can just keep your myths out of our good show. And so that actually works as a great intro for what we are doing this episode.

Oh, I didn't think of it that way, but yeah, I guess it would. Because Michael Cronin is here. He comes by for our annual music episode every year. And he was already going to be here to talk about it and spin some music, but now we're going to play our own new music for the show because we're not allowed to play songs.

And I hope it sticks in the corporate craw. On a Hollywood handbook. Hollywood handbook. Hollywood Hamburg. Oh, small. Here comes Hayes and Sean. Oh, wow. Way better. Looks like we can't even do music after all, even the ones that we are allowed to use. So much better, yeah. Even though we can use that one, you will hear it from now on.

Welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet, live back hallways of this industry we call showbiz. We are doing the music episode again. Even against Colin, the boss who hates music, I think, is another secret fact about him. Oh, yeah, no. Because even when we tried to play some songs, and this wasn't on the recording, or it was,

but we obviously can't use it because we can't play music, but we'd play songs and go, we can't even use this one, Colin? And it looked like it was hurting him. He was like, oh, my freaking ears. Meanwhile, I'm listening to it and loving it. And I'm liking it. It's honestly when there isn't music playing, that's when my ears hurt. I get depressed.

Yes. I get depressed. And when there's no music and in a world with no music, I would be everything's gray and cloudy and nasty and it's raining and I'm sad and I'm sleeping all day, but I'm still tired. There's no color. There's no rainbows. There's no double rainbows. I mean everything and no flowers or anything. Because music is the life of the ears and the soul. So we have our guest, Michael Cronin, who's here. He is part of our record label, Gojira Records.

Look out, it is Gojira. He was the first person that we signed to our label. We found him living in a mound of garbage, playing a homemade guitar made out of a tissue box and some rubber bands, a hair elastic, and a pencil. And now, look at you! Has Gojira been very, very good to you? So great.

I'm so honored. We've been doing a lot of good work, I think. And you did do some records. I did some records. And I saw you doing a show last night. And I was so proud. I'm standing in the audience looking around being like, can you believe this?

And I was just watching thinking like, why did you want to do it like that? I heard you were coming, and, you know, you want to impress the label, the label boss. Right. The label. Okay. Hayes called me from the show, and it really sounded quite loud. Oh, yeah.

And it is not Sean's kind of music, necessarily. I had been saying, well, you know, Michael's been going to do this show. Maybe like you should maybe come out as well. Well, I love music, but I also am discerning. Yeah, and I don't need it to be that loud to have a good time. Yeah, I don't blame you. Yeah. No, it's –

You don't like the loudness either. It hurts. Selfish of you a little bit. Maybe more of the speaker should be pointed at you instead of just at me. Oh, that's interesting. Because not so loud for you. It's blasting on me.

Yeah. That's something to keep in mind for next time. The speaker's a little bit of a sound shower, and if you think of the music you're playing as water, maybe it's not fair for haze to get soaked while you're just maybe getting your feet splashed does that make sense can you picture this yeah yeah that's fair i could um spit it out hombre that's fair i yeah i do feel kind of bad I intentionally soak haze

well I am just thinking why does he want to do it like this to be fair if you're in the splash zone you're going to get wet and it's sort of a Gallagher mentality that when you're playing guitar you're imagining that you're almost smashing a watermelon

with the music really adds like a visceral wetness to it. And seeds. Seeds, pulp, rind. Michael, I know you love music and you know all about it. Sure. Brett is sitting here listening to this being like,

I know I got to be a part of this in one way or another to force my personality in here because I have chosen music as the thing that I that's his main personality you don't choose it, it chooses you yeah and that's something that he's decided

to choose to say as one of the things please let's embrace Brett's adopted persona where he pretended that he liked music. It's better for us to let it in. I feel like it will

be less obtrusive if we just say, okay, Brett, you can be involved in this in some way. It's the opposite of a vampire in a way where a vampire, if you invite them in, that's trouble. With Brett's personality, if you don't invite it in, that's when it can be an ugly monster. But if you sort of give it some space to exist, it will kind of stay where it's supposed to. And the more you kind of like feature it and showcase it, the more he's like, okay, well,

actually I don't really necessarily have the, the goods in terms of like knowing about music. And that's the same as a Dracula vampire, because if you put it in the sunlight, it will explode. Yes. Um, and that's what we're hoping will happen to Brett.

And you brought a lot of little toys. Yeah. I brought a few things. Yeah. What are some of the toys that you have? Well, I have those, uh, drum. What are some of the toys that you have? Well, I have those drumsticks that you took. Okay. Brett, was I on time with the music singing for the team song?

And did you think I was in the pocket? Yeah. Yeah, see, you were pretty good. Oh, okay. It wasn't bad. See, this is this thing again like oh I know what's good yeah

you know yeah I remember feeling like I have no idea where in the song I am here's Michael now he's doing like well I think like

you knew it's always good to play with people above your skill cause then you kind of step it up yeah I played at a level of my competition you kind of kept like

darting your eyes at me. This is insane. I could tell. This is crazy to me. I thought it was pretty good. Yeah. See, now here's Michael. He did a whole show last night,

and he's like, maybe I could talk about what's good about the music. Yeah, that might help. That might help. I thought it was, like you said, in the pocket. Yeah. Yeah. And that it was a little maybe delayed. Some of the lyrics maybe helped give it a little flavor.

No, you really want to put your own spin on it. That was deep in the pocket. And there was a hole in there. Yes. You were so far in the pocket that you were able to find the hole and get in and start doing some business. Bit of frottage. Musical frottage.

That's a cool guitar. Thank you. Can I have it? Licensed frottage therapist. I knew this was going to happen. I knew Sean was going to say licensed frottage therapist. And I knew Brett was going to ask if he could have your guitar. You don't have to say yes.

It would be nice. It took about 200, 300 shows to step up from the homemade guitar that you guys found me with. You lent me a guitar a few years ago. You've just gotten a real guitar of your own, and now Brett's asking to take it. I mean, I didn't hear him say borrow, right? He wants to keep it.

No, he wants to have it. What good is borrowing it? That is true. Then he would have to give it back. I take it. He does want all the guitars. Brett is a man of action. So look, again, you do not have to give him,

and this can be sort of an ongoing conversation, but obviously it would be a nice thing to do. I'll make a deal. So maybe you could get something of Brett's. Maybe his beard trimmer or maybe, I don't know. He's certainly not using that. Yeah. Maybe like... Brand new. maybe I don't know he's certainly not using that the yeah maybe like

brand new one of his copies of Rubber Soul I heard he's got you know that one how many copies I hear Brett is saying

I heard he's got a lot oh right what is that I'm supposed to know what that is yeah so you know the reason we have you in here really is because since Colin wants to try to stop music, music prevails.

Music always wins. And we are going to make new music we can use that no lawyers can tell us not to because it's our label. Yeah. So to start off with, let's just get an overall general, we need some music, we need this moment to have some energy. A lot of times we get in the edit with our podcast and we go, I don't know what we're talking about and it sounds boring. Yes. And we want to just play music. So we will just inject it with some music.

Yeah. So, yeah, give us something tasty. High energy? High energy? High energy? No. No. Medium energy. Yes.

Yeah. Okay, okay. For sitting down. It's for sitting and listening. You're still listening at a cubicle or in your car. Music to listen to while you're sitting down. Okay, okay. You want to hold the pick like this.

Hold it like that. And Brett's got it in his nose. Oh, man. You want to hold the pick like this. Kind of hold it like that. And Brett's got it in his nose. Oh, man. So I keep dropping this thing. And I think it's some joke about picking his nose. Oh, man. Good part of the podcast This is a good part of the podcast Ignore the other stuff you're hearing on

The podcast So that'll be helpful because a lot of times if there's part of the podcast that's not good, we want to tell people this actually is a good part of the podcast, and I feel like that music will really do that. Okay. Yeah. So that was helpful. I mean, you kind of nailed it. Hayes was way in the pocket.

I felt myself going really deep in the pocket. That time I feel like you were in the back pocket, and then you got through and actually crawled up my button around the corner. That's how nice it was. Hayes, is there any situation that you'd like to have a song for? I think a certain kind of guest introduction song could be really good. When it's a corker or when it's not a corker? I think, well, corkers honestly sort of provide their own music.

Does that make sense? It's true. And you're picturing Nick Kroll. Yes. They come in with a sort of musical energy where people, honestly, additional music could be very fucked up to listen to.

Yeah, that would create some sort of dissonance that would maybe make people have a seizure in their car, crash into the side of a bridge, go over into the water, drown. Their mom's crying. She's like, why are you listening to such a good podcast? And we go to jail and Colin,

nothing would make him happier. Let's not give him that satisfaction. The music, I think, would be good for So let's not give him that satisfaction. Yeah. No. So the music I think would be good for... Non-Corkers. Non-Corkers. People like... John Cochran.

John Cochran. Will Hines. You know what I mean? Some of these guys that, what are they doing here? That we really need to give them an additional boost. Yes, we need a hot beat injection.

So if you could play a hot beat that would kind of be telling people hey, this guest actually does have energy, that would help us. Because we are almost certainly going to be having Cochran on the show again. It feels like it's coming around to that point again.

No, it's okay, Michael. And so it would be good to, yeah, just have something for you. A hot beat for the stinkers. Okay. Okay. Having fun with Cochran. This is it. they're the podcast listening to a conversation with us and a non-famous person it's okay that this episode has will hines you can still find parts that you like Even though on the whole it won't be a favorite episode That's great.

That's going to be really helpful for when we have Cochrane and Will Hines. A little upbeat. Yeah. Keep it moving. It was nice, yeah. And I do think some of those episodes do have moments. If you listen to the whole thing, there are moments that really work. Yes.

What else? What are some other situations? An engineer theme could be good. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like Brett should take that one, yeah. other situations. An engineer theme could be good. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like Brett should, Brett should take

that one, yeah. Wow. I mean, you should start. So noble. And already so scared.

I've never seen this. This is the Dracula's like, the sunlight is And he covers up his face yeah

I don't yeah I don't mean to put you on the spot it's just yeah I mean that you've been here a long time well Michael has no reason to understand what an engineer even does

I have no idea no maybe we do a Cody one oh that could be safe for everyone because he's not here and like too much attention

for Brett could be even worse okay so just something what like situation and too much attention for Brett could be even worse. Okay. So just something, what situation, I guess, would we be using this for? Well, I guess what would happen is Cody's ruining the episode.

We've just found out that we haven't been recording at all. We're now tuning back in. There is a stench inside the studio that make you want to pass out. You can barely breathe. And now you're finding out we just didn't record that whole last hour and we have to start over with a new episode

living in this stench pit with the stink. So maybe a song to kind of cancel out the smell. Yes, a song that makes it smell good and then also that kind of puts the blame on Cody a little bit. Okay. Okay.

Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to get into the headspace. It's frustrating. There's probably a piece of Cody's clothing around if you want to kind of get the scent like a bloodhound. Oh, that's helpful. Or a big skin, like a scab.

There's probably one of his band-aids here. He puts them on real loose and they fall off whenever he walks. Non-musicians really underestimate. He thinks you're supposed to lick them first like an envelope before they go on. Oh. Oh. Yeah. And after they go on.

I think I'm getting a pretty good sense of where he's at. But you don't necessarily have to be in his head as much of like a defeater, Cody defeater. Although it is a little bit like a Batman Joker relationship that they are kind of the same. Yeah. Okay. Let's try this out. defeater, although it is a little bit like a Batman Joker relationship, that they are kind of the same. Okay. Let's try this out. P.U. P.U.

Cody is always injured from being bad at his hobby. P.U. Cody is always injured. P.U. From being bad at his hobbies. P.U. But don't worry, he's bad at his job too. P.U. Cody. Cody. Cody. Cody. Cody, Cody, Cody, Cody, Cody, Cody, move away, move away. Move to the mountains, Cody.

And that might be effective in getting him to move into a shack on a mountain. Where he seems to want to spend all of his time anyway. It really feels that way. Every time I come in here, he's like, oh, yeah, you know, he's like, he's in like a full body cast. And he's like, oh, I went on like a hike this weekend to the mountains. I rolled all the way down. It's truly distressing. Just to see someone with that level of injury that consistently you just go like,

the human body isn't meant to exist this way. He's a bit like a Logan because just to be like still intact now, he must have some sort of Logan-like property. He seems to be curious about whether he can die. And he's kind of attempting to snuff himself out, but knowing none of this stuff is really gonna work. We should do a song about when Colin tries

to come and stop us from doing more music. Something we can play him that is like... Something very aggressive. To just let him know you come at us we're gonna smash ya brother we're gonna shell ya my brother

oppressive okay what was that noise? sounds like church. That's me. Yeah. Colin. Colin. I have the authority to fire you. I have the authority to fire you. Yeah, right. You no longer are welcome here.

We are gonna listen to you. Yeah, right. You no longer are welcome here. We are gonna listen to you. Yeah, right. Nice try. Screw off, brother. Jump out the window, Colin. Never comes back to Earwolf. Both smashed on the ground. Colin is a meat mess on the ground Dude, don't stop.

Come on, man. Brad. Clearly, once he's a meat mess on the ground, we don't need the song anymore. Yeah, we don't have to celebrate. It's unfortunate that we had to do that. I didn't want it to go that way. once he's a meat mess on the ground, we don't need the song anymore. Yeah, we don't have to celebrate. It's unfortunate that we had to do that. I didn't want it to go that way. I was hoping when he came in that his name was Colin

because he'd be calling us up all the time to say good job, but instead it's because he's calling us into his office to be like, hey, you're in trouble, and it's like, well, you're in trouble. You're a meat mess. It's not fair. He did end up being a meat mess. Which sucks, dude. Sucks for him, man.

I was hoping, you know, this guy's not a meat mess. He's just got all of his meat. It stays in his skin. You know? Instead, it's on the outside of his skin. Okay, we need a song for this. Hang on.

Get out. Oh, get out. Kevin gets out. We need a song for Kevin. Kevin is gone. Okay. And now, so when you hear your song, you can come in. So the tone of this is like very gross and like...

It's like Larry Lounge Lizard. You remember those video games about the pervert? Leisure Suit Larry. Leisure Suit Larry. That's right. Lounge Lizard. Remember those video games about the pervert? Leisure Suit Larry. Leisure Suit Larry. That's right. Leisure Suit Larry. Yes. Remember the video game about the pervert and he was a creep

and he got off on you not knowing he was looking at you? Yeah. Part of the excitement for him is that you know you aren't aware that you're being recorded peeper mentality yeah yes a peeper song

would be great do you know any good just sort of peeper themes peeper themes yes um a little sleazy

yes a little funky yes yes bringing out yes a little bit of distasteful funk.

Some funk that makes you uncomfortable with, like, why does he like it so much that he feels this funky about himself, you know? Okay. Okay. Kevin, wait, are you ready? Yeah. Okay. Here I come. here i come i'm a creepy little pervy weasel click click here come the snapshots click click take off your pants now click click i'm in the restroom recording you without your knowledge

spread for kevin spread them for kevin through recording you without your knowledge. Spread for Kevin. Spread them for Kevin. Don't mind me, just spread them. When I get back to my dungeon, I will look at these snapshots all alone and I'll touch myself in a nasty way, but I won't get off cause that's not how I play I just like to bring myself to the edge

And reel it back in Reel it back in It's denying the pleasure that I enjoy Wow, Kevin, that is gross. Wow, I can't believe you sang those lyrics about yourself. What a disgusting new dimension to you. I wish that you would allow yourself a release. I feel like we wouldn't be dealing with this every episode.

I think what makes it so strong is that you don't ever really give in. Like, that's upsetting. Andy's got a friggin' Spotify sweatshirt on as if to make it even nastier for us who were actually the new Spotify discoverers. That's pointed at us. Until what? I was going to say part of the pleasure is knowing that there's never full pleasure. Yeah, we heard the fucking song.

We heard you sing about it, man. There was just an entire song about it. You sounded sort of British. I have to say you were definitely in the pocket, speaking of pocket. Oh, wow. Yes, Kevin is deep in the pocket. I hate to acknowledge it, but yeah, he was way in the pocket. Can't deny the flow.

Pocket pool. What, are we going to do the pictures or what you have other songs that we just heard that you want to describe to us? And a Queens of the Stone Age shirt, which I think is also some kind of musically related thing. Ugh, what a fucking freak. I don't know about that. Yeah, that's not really... If Michael doesn't know it, I don't want to know about it.

Never heard of it. Yeah. Yes. The only thing, the one thing that Michael and I disagree on musically, one, how loud it could be. And then the other thing is... He doesn't know. This is the thing.

I'm going to these things, and he's having such a good time up there. I'm going to this show. He does not know the loudness. And so this is what I'm saying. It is blasting all over me everywhere. And even in here, I'm putting on a good face for the show.

But it's killing. Yes. It kills. Yeah. That killed that last one. Ow. It really kills. I'm just, like we were saying, I'm just ankle deep. You're in splash zone.

Yeah, all you do is just roll up your pant legs a little bit and you're wading around in a swash. Can you face it the other way? The blast. Because Michael, that killed. Is there a way to turn your music blaster

It's killing me. to turn it towards you? Sure. So then I'm having the fun that you seem to be having. You know what I mean? Sure. You're just getting an echo of the... Because, Michael, the way it's pointed now, it kills.

It really is killing. I know. I'm trying to figure it out. It's just I get pretty selfish. Yeah, because it's... You do get a little selfish. I'm just trying to be real about it. I see you kind of up on stage.

And, by the way, I had a great time at the show. I am so proud of you. But I do see you up there thinking only about yourself. Am I right that that's happening? Ow! Sorry. I look at Sean. Ow!

Yeah, I'm sorry. I mean, it's still killed. I get selfish. I get locked in my head. I get into it. Yes. It get selfish. I get locked in my head. I get into it. Yes. It's only thinking about yourself. Yeah.

It is. Other people are having the experience too. Me and Hayes, we make sound too. Some people would say podcasts are music even more than music is because we're recording sound on a mic. And what we're doing is never thinking about what we like or what we want and only doing this for the audience and the broadest audience possible. That's really brave.

Because why else make it other than to ease people's pain? To make it kill is wrong. And to do songs about relatable stuff that people understand, like Killing Our Boss. Killing Our Boss. Songs about relatable stuff that people understand, like killing our boss. Killing our boss. The creepy pervert doing creep shots. Yes. A specific engineer who's not even here.

Yeah. An engineer who's not here. Easy entry points. A photographer who refuses himself climax. You know, this kind of stuff. We all encounter that. Yes. I don't care where you work.

I don't care if you work at McDonald's or Arby's. Yes. The photographer at Arby's. They're at both. Well, does not come. You know, unfortunately for all of us. The age-old saying. It's true.

Talked for an RV. No horsey sauce for him. Kind of looks like it. So are there any more songs we got to do? Okay, so what else did we, yeah, we did one for a good part of the podcast. We did when Cochran's on the podcast. We did when Cocker's on the show. Another relatable concept that was. Is there a song for when we're out of steam?

Yes. But we know we need like 20 more minutes of show. Okay. You know what I mean? Something that's just bridging the gap, just carrying us. Because a lot of times, the show's going pretty well. Yes. And then we go like, alright, is it just about done? And then we go, no, we only record

for 20 minutes. And we go, okay, we need something. Yes, this is good. For that certain moment in the show, that's perfect. This is when we could really use... Yeah, you have like a guest who's just not participating much and not contributing.

Or a host. Or a host, yeah. Or we came in with an idea. We have done the idea. There is nothing else to do with the idea. And it didn't have the legs. Yeah, and it just was like, oh, I guess that was half an idea. And now we're going, okay, what else?

Anything else? As we feel around in the dark, is there like a bridge, you know, a sort of filler song? What is that? Something like that. And it's not scary? No. That's terrifying.

See? Brett. That seems perfect this is this is not what you are doing is not playing a musical instrument i know that you that you have this machine that has like five buttons on it that play different songs and you're like i'm in a band that's not a band can you play it yeah well if you fucking give it to me and like I like if you just would let me hold it for one second then yes I could do it

guys guys guys I don't think you could not around please don't don't play keep away around the equipment he's playing keep away around the equipment

guys you're getting all tangled up in the wires and that was me I did hit it and Hayes played that and he's in wires. And that was me. I did hit it that time. And Hayes played that. And he's in a band. And that was me. And Hayes, I really like your band.

Thank you. So I could do it. And that was me. Let's do the thing for that part of the show that we were describing. That happens in every single episode. Just some bad music. Just to give us a little time. Just kill time.

Just something, yes. Okay. Uh-oh. Sean's starting to look at his phone. How do I re-engage my friends? I don't have the tools to do this alone. I wonder what I'm going to have for lunch after this. Let me look at Yelp see what's around

here I go this is my shot I can do a big funny joke oh nobody like my joke oh no Oh, a text. Good.

Another universally applicable song that people can share on Facebook. I don't care if you work at Staples or Office Space. There's somebody at your work who's checking out a little bit, and you're going to try to make a big funny joke because they are starting to think about lunch, and it's just not time yet. Who is that for you? Your job, Michael.

It's okay to say me. It's okay if I'm that person for most people. I mean, I don't want to pile it on, but. When we are doing meetings at the label, it's true. Near the end of the meetings. A lot of lunch talk. And it doesn't matter if I've had lunch. It doesn't matter if it's 9 p.m., 6 a.m.

It's always, for me, what am I going to have for lunch? It's always BLTs and topsides. Is there a place with a good BLT around here? And it is almost similar to the Kevin thing, which is, as far as I know, he has never achieved lunch, like a full release of lunch. As far as I know, it's just about the search for lunch. Yeah, no.

I get freaked out by the size of the menu. Yeah. And there's so many options. I'm so afraid of making the wrong choice that I wind up just eating the menu itself. Huh. And I'm feeling pretty sick. Yeah, I was going to say, I don't think there's many nutrients. I think, how's your stomach?

Yeah, it's not good? Yes, doctor. I mean, yeah, it's not. I am a doctor, I should say. Yeah. It's not feeling great. Speaking of doctor doctor American Idiot you like that album?

uh yeah I um it's pretty yeah it's pretty good can we do any of that do you know yeah

Boulevard um do we know 21 Guns are we waking each other up? Let's do, okay. Oh, wait. How does Boulevard Broken Dreams?

There's Boulevard. There's 21. There's Wake Me Up. Any of those. But I think for our purposes, it would be helpful for us to be telling Paul Tompkins to have us back on spot because it has been like over a year. We need some kind of bump. We really have leveled off as kind of the same 10 people going, I like this podcast and no one else getting into it.

And people being like, oh, I really like this show, but I can't convince any of my friends to like it. And it's like, well, maybe that's on you, pal. Big community of people saying, has anyone ever successfully convinced someone else to like this show? Every time I try, people go, what the fuck is this? And it's discouraging to hear that. Why is that my fault? And maybe it's like, get us into Spawn,

and then that could be a nice easy bridge. Spawn's pretty accessible. People love Spawn. then that could be a nice easy bridge. Spawn's pretty accessible. People love Spawn. I love that show. I know you do, Michael. You always have it on when we come into your dressing room. Yeah, it's good.

I like hearing long form improv right before I get on. Before you get on stage. That's a changing music. I'm going to do a long-form improv right before I get on. Before you get on stage. Man, that's a great show. Do they record here? Yeah, in this other studio.

I love that show. Anyway, sorry. I'll show you around their studio. Really? Yeah. Not now. I mean, we're doing our show. Yes, and it's not free.

The tour is not free. What do you mean? And it comes afterwards. You find out how much it is. You're like, so how much is this? And he's like, oh, we'll figure it out. And then when the tour is over, then you get hit with the sticker. And there are options other than money to pay.

And there are none to appetize you. You can pay an installment. Like a barter. Yes, there is. Ask us or grass, baby baby no one tours for free so let's do something off idiot

dealer's choice a medley would actually be really nice it would be nice sort of a jukebox medley could actually be really nice. Oh, yeah. That would be nice. Sort of a jukebox medley. I'm trying to remember Boulevard of Broken Dreams, how it starts. I walk a lonely road down the Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Yes, yes.

Paul have us back on spot. We haven't been on spot in over a year. Sorry I ruined the improv. I promise to tone it down a bit this time. Scott, you had John on. Comedy bang, bang by himself. And now it is Hayes' turn bring me on the show

cause I wanna be alone any show that's good I don't yeah I don't know why I said any show At the end Because there are some shows

That we do not want to do Yeah Will not do Yeah There's a couple I wouldn't do What song is this? I think it's American Idiot.

Have you guys seen the documentary about the musical? Oh, no. It's fantastic. It's about, like, well, that musical is based on a lot of real things that really did happen to people. Because, like, Jimmy is, like like one of the main guys bush yeah and he's like one of these guys actually goes off to war yeah and steps on a freaking bomb and explode yes and another guy ends up having to do drugs resident yeah yes and the american idiot

it is revealed at the end. Thank you. I want people to actually be able to go see this thing. But yes, it is revealed at the end that the actual American Idiot is George Bush. Yeah. But part of it is not just being told that at the beginning. It's like you watch the thing and then you're like, yeah. It's all the Swift Boat stuff is in there.

Okay, that's a good song. What do you, what else do we need? You got anything you want to get in here? Is there like a song that you want to sing about you? Yeah, something you want to do. You know? About me. Because it is like often, yes.

Like my own theme song. We have said your thing is kind of like at the end of the show yeah we a lot of times give people an opportunity

to talk about what they have going on yeah okay and your performance style is kind of like this is about me we're like

thinking about me and I am thinking only about myself yeah so yeah I guess if you need to sort of let that out

so a plugs theme song or not a plugs theme yeah that's a great show too I mean a theme song a personal theme song with my own plugs in it yes that could be good

yeah and Brent maybe you could help. You know? Okay. Yeah. Just play it. It's J and G. Okay.

Hey, hey, this is Michael. I'll be playing around. Hey, this is my goal, I'll be playing around Nothing soon, I don't have shows anymore I just played one last night By the time you hear this you missed it And I got nothing else to say Just got this

harmonica Bye. Bye. Yes. Wait, I had an idea. Okay. Michael, play one of your songs, and I'm going to sing about how the show's over to your song. Okay, yeah.

Yeah. Does he even know his own songs? I've been doing podcasts for a long time I don't want to be on mic no more And I don't think I'm funny I've been hanging out with Hayes and Brett now I don't want wanna do the show But this is the last episode

No more shows on Earwolf anymore We're done with shows And this is a real bye this time. Yes. Bye! Yes! Earwolf I'm a horny girl wolf.

This has been an Earwolf production. Executive produced by Scott Aukerman, Colin Anderson, and Chris Bannon. For more information and content, visit Earwolf.com. Ow. That was a HeadGum Podcast.