Hollywood Handbook - Mike Lawrence, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: April 18, 2016

Sean and Hayes reveal themselves to be sneakerheads and discuss the newest sneakers they've bought. Then MIKE LAWRENCE joins in for a quick trip to the Popcorn Gallery.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. So, it's a boys' night. It's me, it's Balmer, it's Paul. And we're blitzed and just hacking celebs' iPhone cameras. You know, the fappening style. iPhone cameras. You know, the fappening style. And Bomber

you know, gets into Clooney's. Okay. And he goes Damn, Rosemary! So he because a lot of people don't know that you guys could do this. You actually get into the camera itself.

And then we make it take pictures. And you can kind of move it around. So it's like, you know, it's like scanning around. Oh, yeah. We zoom it all over. For something hot to take a pic of. You ever go, you ever, you know, open up your camera, listeners at home, like you go open up your phone, look at photos, you go,

I don't remember taking this photo. And it's of your, you know, a member of your family. Oh, your muff. Yes. It's a photo of your,

somebody else's muff. A lot of times that's Paul did that. Or it's Balmer or it's me or one of the boys. So it was just, we get blitz and that's, that's what's funny to us. Hey, welcome to Hollywood.

Hamburger insiders. Guys, I'm kicking, dropping names. What up? What up? I was trying to hurt. I was trying to hurt Ryan's ears and my fucking headphones and my fucking

headphones, by the way, Ryan, one year keeps going out and staticking out. And it's so distracting it's like as if I didn't have a hard enough time

during the segment we just recorded fucking half my shit didn't work and kept going getting it out it's honestly like Midnight Special

it feels like Midnight Special oh god I love that some of those magic effects oh so amazing what did you love about it? I loved not wondering

what was gonna happen from like 40 minutes in. Just they said, it's probably this is what's going to be the ending. And then you just watch and then that is the ending. How thrilling. What a fucking great story. I think that this is what's going on.

All right, that is what's going on. Let's just watch it play out. Zero tension, zero anything. No surprise the way they do it, not surprising. I hate surprises in film. We want to talk about... Oh, no. Headphones had to come all the way off.

Is that bad? Oh, sorry. It must have gotten really bad. It got really bad for me, headphones-wise. And now, which... Oh, yeah. There we go. Can you hear it?

Yeah. Okay. You got it. You're doing a good job over there. We want to talk about sneakers. It is sneaker season. It's the time of year when you take off your heavy boots and you wash all the snow and mud off

and then it's time to put on your sneakers again. Oh, God. To walk on the dry ground. Obviously, when it's boots time, I'm not irresponsible with my feet. I put boots on

and that's what I walk with. But... You can still have fun. Oh, gosh. I have all kinds of fun. You can stomp and splash. But it's a different kind of fun and quite frankly,

it's not as stylish. Because I wear the ducky boots. Sure. No, yes. Sure. I'm not challenging you on that.

The way you say sure No, I know. is like you don't believe me. I know, I'm sorry. And I can see from the expression on your face I know you wear the ducky boots

and I know the ducks are having fun when they splash around in the pond, and I'm not. Well, think about a duck's life phase. Free bread, floating. Yeah. And often I wonder, you know, am I like the duck? On the surface of the water, everything appears calm, but just underneath, there's a furious churning. Right, and this is like your sort of bowel issues. It's my body trying to process what I put into it.

Some of the belly stuff that you have going on. Yes, I'm always having new sort of stomach adventures and just what goes in, you know, and then what comes out. It's like a completely different thing. Oh, gosh. And it's totally unpredictable. Unrecognizable. No, it's a true mystery, and I'm so curious about my own body.

But we are sneakerheads, and this is the season where you go to the store and you say, give me some of that new stuff in the special box. What I love about sneakers is they're always changing. They're always different. They could do all kinds of colors. Yeah. They can make the shapes of them different and put styles on them. And to me, and let's get first off,

let's get some of the funny things you could say out of the way. I like Heelys. I want the LA gear with the flashing lights. That's good. Something with like Velcro, the BK Rack. Soaps. Yeah. The soaps.

So that's out of the way. That was a lot of my stuff, but I'll come up with some other stuff. Yeah, no, we'll find new stuff. Yeah, no, we'll find new stuff. But the fact that you can do new styles and wear them and have a lot of pairs and buy them all is, to me, what's so cool. Yes. And for a lot of people, it's a very unsustainable addiction if you don't have the money to support it. Largely, they are marketed, I think, to people who... Should not be buying them.

Shouldn't be buying. Yes. An expensive thing in the dozens that has no practical difference. What I think is cool is really rich guys like Jay Lego, they collect cars. Yeah. But if your feets are your car because you're not really rich, then you can feel kind of rich by having, you know, feets cars, which is what I think of sneakers as.

And when rich guys like us become sneakerheads, then it encourages other people to spend all their money on sneakers as well Even though they have less Oh yeah We can continue to buy other stuff Frankly, I could buy another car if I wanted But instead, I'm buying 20 more feets cars Sneakers

What did you cop recently? Oh, what did I cop? Oh, just the new dopeness. Just all the hottest, freshy-fresh. What I'm copping? Oh, dude. Well, first of all, I just, I went into, you know, I went into the friggin'

headquarters, right? Oh, my God. Like, the secret, the secret, the dumb, dumb Nike store, the lab, seeing them working on all the new shit. And the blazenest chick showed me around. Bro, she was so blazen. Was she like a scientist? Blazenest you've ever seen.

Had to be. Had to be. Big cat eye glasses. And just, okay, and oh, what do you want to try on? The fresh. And then she's like, well, what sport do you like? What do you like to play? I said, freaking, I don't know.

Maybe look at me and just figure it out. And she'd check out my calves for one second and goes, okay, this guy plays cricket. And she took me over to that section and was like, dude, that's the freaking doors opening. Just like pick anything you like. And I go, I'll take one of each shoe. You can see why I copped recently. Oh yeah. Dude, that's so dumb.

I got the new Seth Green Robot Chicken Model X It's got the clay guys From the Robot Chicken opener The scientist Is on one shoe The chicken on the other shoe

And the chicken is like Being Frankensteined By the scientist. And I wear these on the court. And the clay is kind of melting a little bit. And everyone else is slipping around in the clay. And I'm going straight to the rack, homie.

Did you get anything else that was cool? What else did I cop? Oh, well, let me see. Did I cop any stupid, tight, dumb, dumb, just silly shit? And I'm just going through all my boxes here. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Here come the boom.

That's right. Oh, wow. Yeah, I got Joe Dirt 2 on my freaking tongue on my shoes. And he's sticking his tongue out like, ah, like he's listening to some Ted Nugent. That's the kind of music he likes. And it's freaking, and it's the second Joe Dirt. So you know they had to up the Annie. A Kid Rock.

So, he, so, you know, and he's, the mullet is back and it's, and party in the back. Yeah. So, the back of the shoe has hair. Yes. The back of the shoe has hair. And so, it can be a little unsafe. I usually only really wear it in the pool because I know that the water, I won't step on the hair and trip

because the back doesn't have hair. Other people are stepping on it. When I have tried to wear it to play squash, on the squash court, a lot of what happens is I will accidentally step on the hair, pull the hair on the shoe, shoe says ow, and I fall down. I wound up doing a perfect front flip and also put the racket up from behind my legs

and sort of as I'm spinning hit a great squash shot, win the game. But it could have been pretty dangerous because I could have landed on a kid or something. Wow. Wow. Yeah. So I did cop the Joe Dirt 2 sneakies. And what did you do with your sneaky new sneaker purchase, Mr. Sneakerhead? I got the Hail Caesar zeros. It's got everybody on the shoelaces.

Tilda Swinton. Josh Brolin. Channing Tatum, David Krumholtz, Jonah Hill in just the little part. But it makes you think that he's in a big part of the movie. The shoe makes you think he's in a big part of the shoe, but he's actually in a very, very small part of the shoe at the end. And they're sort of like sandals, like the Hail Caesar part. George Clooney is not on the shoes. Or I'm still looking for him. He might be in a part of it that I haven't seen yet. Mm-hmm.

And this is all like, we don't buy shoes. We're not sneakerheads. We're not like consciously not buying the shoes on the Earwolf wall. We're not trying to show that there are other shoes out there. Oh, I didn't even think of that. Are there shoes out there? That can be even cooler than the ones that are on the wall at Earwolf Studios that don't feature us very prominently.

It's not directed at anyone at Earwolf or anyone who makes shoes for Earwolf or anyone who works and runs Earwolf. It doesn't have anything to do with them. It's just my passion for shoes, which I've always had, and I think we've probably talked about before, but if it's the first time it's coming up, that's just funny and coincidence.

And yeah, to me, it's just what I'm into is shoes that happen to have nothing to do with Fear Wolf and feature stuff that's actually pretty cool. Like the frigging Hail Caesar Zeros. Like the Joe Dirt 2 straight to DV feet. Yeah. And like those great robot chicken ones. I also did get the BoJack horse shoe. Wow. Yeah.

Those shoes are very underrated. Mm-hmm. You want to describe them? It takes a couple wears to break them in. At first, you put them on, and you're like, eh. And they're not super funny, but they're interesting. But they actually are good shoes. They are interesting.

They actually are. I would say they are good shoes. But when you first put them on you're like okay and then after a couple wears

you go like you find yourself being like actually I'm gonna put those shoes on again I've never wore the shoes but I've

yeah I've heard that that's the I've been binge wearing them we have what a guest today. Mike Lawrence is here. The comedy man making jokes, cracking shit up. Careful, maybe turn your speakers down because the energy is going to blast you through the wall. Dude had instant chemistry with me and Hayes.

Spoiler, we already recorded it. Dude had instant chemistry. It was as if, almost like he was a third host of Hollywood Handbook because he's clearly a fan of the show and it just really translates and you're going to feel like, you know, it's a, he took it like a duck to water with ducks again. So, um, uh, listen and don't turn it off. Bye. Hollywood handbook. So ATV four wheeling expedition with the subway hero, the rescuer. Mm-hmm.

I decided he needed a prize. This is back when he rescued that guy. Yeah, from the subway. And I thought I'd give him a big prize when we go to the beach and we take the four wheels out for a trip, expedition. Why not? So he's looking at me like, you know, sort of revving the engine and shit and sort of like seeing if I have got it in me to pop one. Right, like if you're going to go 12 o'clock.

Yes. And so I'm like, who the fuck is this? Who's this nobody? I don't even know this guy's name anymore. And so I start to go 12 o'clock. I go back to pop one and my front wheels both fall off. Okay. Right.

So now I'm stuck in access, just straight up busted. I mean, what were you doing? I, I had screwed them on a little bit loose on purpose so they wouldn't be so hard to take off next time yeah and so i'm in the end i want to make it look like i did it on purpose so i'm like get out of here wheels i'm like telling the wheels to go away yeah but now i'm like stuck in the air and like i

can't you can't bring it down you gotta kind of sit on the back i have to stay in the wheelie and i'm getting very tired as well so i had to drive it into the oceanie and I'm getting very tired as well. So I had to drive it into the ocean ultimately. And that I made sound like an intentional thing too. Like,

let's get wet! And then I took it into the ocean. That's good. And it broke. Here's an idea for the Subway Hero guy. I don't know if you want

to use it or if you still talk to him. It's for him? Just like him versus Pizza Rat. And I don't know where it goes. I don't know if it's a poster. It probably is.

They're in a fight. Yeah. They sort of are. They're in stomp in the same sandbox, you know? Yeah. Stomp, yeah. Yeah. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook,

an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet linebacker hallways of this industry we call showbiz. What up, what up? Mike Lawrence is here. Hey, how's it going? It's good, Mike. Nice. And we have some questions for you, too.

Okay. Because we don't know you, Mike. Okay. We know of you. Yeah. We know your work. We know your stand-up. We've got the internet. Were you on at midnight? Yeah,, Mike. Okay. We know of you. Yeah. We know your work. We know your stand-up. We've got the internet.

Seeing you. Were you on at midnight? Yeah, I was. Yeah. So we know you from that. Yeah. But we don't know you, their inside brain. Okay.

And so one thing that we do sometimes, we have this segment called the Popcorn Gallery. Do you want to explain that? The Popcorn Gallery. And maybe I'll pull up the song and I'll get the cable from Ryan. Yes. Which is a new experience for me and Ryan, the exchange of the sound cable. Because movies are such a big part of entertainment, and entertainment is such a big part of what we talk about on the show,

the popcorn is the food you eat at the movies. And so what we've done is sort of retrofit the concept of a peanut gallery where people are chiming in from the audience to suit the show better with popcorn in place of the peanuts. So when they ask the questions, they do it on a computer, and then we're able to read them through technology, and we ask them to you in person here. So they're learning about entertainment through the Popcorn Gallery. Do you have any questions about it? No.

Okay, all right. Well, you're the opposite of our audience. They have so many questions. They have questions for you. And it's okay if you do have questions. Okay. It's okay if you don't have questions. Yeah, you don't have to have a question. If you did, hey, Hayes is ready to answer it.

And the sound started playing and then Ryan killed the sound. And he's supposed to be helping the sound. Mm-hmm. And Ryan, yeah, bumping it up. What kind of song do you like, Mike? I'm a big Hooba Stink fan. No, you're not.

No, I'm not. I'm sorry. They stink. Oh, no, come on. You guys don't like that? They stink. That was in the past tense. They may not anymore.

I used to sing that with, I had a five-person a cappella group in high school. And what's the name of it? The Song People. Oh, that's great. I hear exactly... So many times people try to be so clever with their a cappella names that you don't actually know what you're getting.

No. But this is describing exactly what I'm going to see. The Song People. We couldn't think of any. It's like Sing Street. Right. And we used to see. The song people. We couldn't think of any. It's like Sing Street. Right. And we used to sing that song. Yeah.

And I would do the high parts and the percussion part at the same time. You do the percussion part in the back. But you're not doing the... You ever sing a song, Mike? Every once in a while. What's your favorite song to sing? Geez, I don't know.

Oasis? No. I never liked them. Yeah, it's not Oasis. Okay. Yeah, me neither. That's guys. Yeah, that's just dudes.

And we don't want to take any questions away from our little man. Here we are asking questions. We already have them. Yeah. Okay. This one's from Chicken Sandwich. Okay. This is the first question from the popcorn gallery, and then we'll go on to do other stuff, other segments and things.

Sounds cool. Okay. And then should we also explain that we need to reach into the bag when we get a question? Yes, we gotta reach into the popcorn bag. Sorry, so Hayes almost asked a question. This is a sound effect. Reach in the bag. I almost asked a question without having a question. So my friend Mark from high school records a bunch of sound drops for us to use that is the sound of a hand reaching in a popcorn bag,

pulls out something unique, and then we'll ask the question. Oh, it's the chorus, or it's the one part of Don't Look Back in Anger where he tells you not to put your life in the hands of a rock and roll band. So that's what we found in the pop-up. So that's an example of something you take out of the bag. This one's from Chicken Sandwich, one of our listeners. He's not listening right now.

Mike, I recently took a trip to the UK and I bumped into a man. He got super angry at me and he said he would beat the tits off me. How do I learn to stand up to the mean bullies? Well, if he's a guy with tits, maybe he should let the guy beat them off him. Beat them away. Yeah.

It's a weight loss tactic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, and getting beat up is good cardio. You stand up to the bullies by taking them to Batman vs. Superman because that is the ultimate movie for bullies. And it lets them know that they have successfully taken our culture and that we will never get it back. I think that's what you do.

So you let them know that they're the boss and they won. Yeah. Well, because then there's no real reason to beat us up. You've already beat up sort of the entire world. Now, we're into nerd stuff as well. Love it. We were sort of there first, I feel

like. We were very early on it. And I'm not saying that you're late to the game on this thing, but Sean and I were sort of in there, even when we were kids. Yes, comics. And a lot of people, I assume you sort of took this on as an adult you just started reading comics after seeing like the nerds i was like five

since you were five okay what about what if you were like a baby reading comics like i was yeah yeah i guess uh but when were you a baby i was a baby that's a good question. That's a great question. Trying to think of what I remember. We didn't have – we had a television, but it had like a very small little screen, and there was just Felix the Cat on it. And the comic books – That could have been any era, and you were just poor. Well, I definitely was poor. Yeah, I actually think it's inspiring that I just poor. Well, I definitely was poor. Yeah, I actually think it's inspiring that I was poor. Just because of how far I've come.

Yeah. But I can't remember when Hayes was a baby, just because it's been such a crazy month. But I will say, what if we just asked another question and just see if that launches us onto a whole new thing? Okay. This is from Spunky Funerism. Oh, it's...

This time it's the chorus from Don't Look Back and Higger. This is from Spunky Funerism. Mike, I went to your WordPress blog and it didn't have any blog entries. It was just contact info and links to your projects and stuff. How are we supposed to know how you're doing if you don't write anything on your blog? Also, stop calling it a blog. And now some of these can get very aggressive. It gets personal, yeah.

And I got to say, some of the bullies are in our listener base. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know the bullies are in our listener base. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, my projects are who I am. So that's how you get to know me. How do you ever separate them? They're not. I am my at midnight appearances and nothing more. What does that feel like to be an at midnight appearance?

Feels good, you know? I mean, I think it's great to only have a 20-minute lifespan and to not be sad about it. I mean, you could pretty much do everything within 20 minutes. Mike, will we ever know hashtag peace? We won't. Yes. It'll never happen in our time. So what do you do what but i do imagine they're being hashtag veterans in a couple of years what do you do um when you get home from

at midnight like i just want to know what your consciousness is like are you experiencing stuff at that point or is it kind of you're on a podcast now, so you're like tuned in. But it's 11 a.m. on a Saturday, so I'm totally tuned out. Oh, okay. Yeah. Right, it's not midnight. No. Okay.

Midnight's when you kind of switch on. But only if there's symbols next to the time. Okay. And what's it like the rest of the time? It's, you know, it's tough tough because I try to buy things with points, of which I have so many, and they're non-transferable. And so it's very difficult. What's that conversation like? You go into, like, what are you trying to buy, food?

Yeah. And then I'm like, you know, I said Queen Laquifa tonight. Can I please have this sandwich? And they'll say no, and then I leave. And so you think it's a question of not having enough points. You go back on at midnight. You accumulate a few more points. Quite a little racket Hardwick's got because he makes you totally points dependent. Basically, he forces you to live in his economy.

Yeah. Where the only way to really for you to get food or something is to be back in the green room. Yeah. You can then spend points on whatever they have. Yeah, since it's L.A., no one else eats the food. So I get to have as much as I want. It's pretty great. It sounds very good.

It sounds good while you're there, but it's just – It's ironic. In New York, I am of a size which is castable fat. But when I come out here, I am just morbidly obese. Well, see, it makes me think of, you know, in Scientology, how they make them go to special schools so that they don't have enough life skills in order to be able to leave Scientology. At midnight it's kind of the same

thing. You're supposed to make more than 30 cents a day. You can't have a job certainly because you're up so late. Oh gosh. I mean yeah and you can't work the graveyard shift because that's when you're working. Right. That's the thing you know you go to bed

at 1230 but then you have to wake up again at 3 a.m. for the West Coast, and it's just very exhausting. You can't go to your job and be like, hey, I'd like to work at night, but I'm just going to have to leave for 22 minutes. I have to leave right when it's 1159 and 59 seconds. Okay, here's another question. We're almost done with the popcorn gallery, but we usually do three questions.

That's Liam Gallagher. This one's from NoHorseMan. Mike, what did you think of that most recent episode of Horace and Pete? Powerful stuff. I haven't seen it. And so you're part of the problem, Mike. Yeah, I know. Because you know that Louis C.K. got very sick.

You know he's... I know a lot of the people that work on it. Oh, my God. He's at death's door. And you know the people that work on it. I don't know if you want to be saying this. Mike, you shouldn't have admitted that. Do they accept points?

Can we help you out somehow? We can. No, I mean, that's the thing. It's like he tried doing this new distribution system of money instead of points, and I wasn't able to afford to watch it. What do you know about it? What do you think it is? What do you imagine it is?

you know about it what do you think it is what do you imagine it is i i imagine that horace and pete get all the attention and and just gets forgotten oh you have an interesting imagination yeah i i just i feel i feel like you know um it's something that i i want to see but since i don't know anyone else who's seen it and I would want to see it to talk about it, I don't feel like I'll ever see it. It's not really putting the pressure on you, right? Because nobody else is bringing it up. Yeah.

You certainly don't want to bring it up and just hit a brick wall. Well, what about the No Horseman? He, I think, has seen it. He said it was powerful stuff. Do you not want to be associated with the no horse man from our forums? No, I guess not. Yeah, well, you're not alone there. Now he doesn't have a horse or me.

Should we do one more question? Yeah, let's do one more. We usually do three. Let's make it four this time. We have some good ones. That's the cover of Definitely Maybe. I want to just keep doing that to see how many Oasis references you can get. It sounds like

it is getting thin. So this is a sound drop that we play from Sean's front mark. That's Ryan Adams' cover of Wonderwall. It's fun. That was some of the scariest popcorn we've had. Also, it just sounds like you're doing

an impression of what you think Hebrew sounds like. Oh, if that's what Mark is doing, that's very... I hope that that's not what my high school friend Mark is doing when he makes those sound drops. He's trying to sort of insult Hebrews. Is that consistent with other stuff he's been talking about?

With everything that he's into? Yeah. It's consistent with some of the tattoos on his neck. This question is from Ranran. Ranran asks, what should I wear to a meeting with my boss tomorrow? And now this is a chick. And she's in a frigging band. Ranran's like a band chick.

She's like a music chick. And she rocks. I know how sad my life is when I hear band chick and think she plays the bassoon or something. It's part of your Horace and Pete imagination. But I didn't see Horace and Pete, so how would I have your Horace and Pete imagination. But I didn't see Horace and Pete so how would I have a Horace and Pete

imagination? Well you imagine what Horace and Pete is like. Once you see Horace and Pete you don't have a Horace and Pete

imagination. There's only the cold reality of an episode of Horace and Pete. No she's like she plays like just a

I was upset that it wasn't Pete and Pete and then one of the Petes left and then was replaced by a guy named Horace. Named Horace, yeah. Oh, right. Yeah, Horace Grant, I guess.

So it's Horace Grant and one of the grown-up Pete and Pete brothers and we assume the other one just fell in a manhole. And so we were talking about what Ram Ram's going to wear to her boss tomorrow. Meeting with the boss. who I guess is like – Bruce Springsteen? Yeah, I guess her boss is probably Bruce Springsteen.

If she's in a band, then he's – She showed up at the meeting wearing a short skirt and a shirt. So that's the suggestion. Okay. So we had to back into it from pretty uncanny Springsteen. Yeah. It was like he was in the room just now. You know, now that he canceled his North Carolina gig, he had time to do this podcast.

He just ran in. Ran, ran in. And so you wanted to wear a short skirt. What does it feel like to have that kind of power over women's clothes? I don't. Is that a wedding ring? Yes, it is. It's a Green Lantern wedding ring.

So your wife is the Green Lantern? No. You're the Green Lantern and you're married to his wife? No. Okay. What makes it the Green Lantern wedding ring? It has the Green Lantern symbol on it. Right? It has the Green Lantern symbol on it. Right, it has the Green Lantern symbol on it.

Should we, I don't, like, because now I'm reaching a point where, like, we've done the popcorn gallery, but we always do it at the end. So I don't know how to transition out. Yeah, there's really nothing after it, so. I'm playing the song again. Okay, is that helping? It's getting actually, it's, now I think playing the song again. Is that helping? Now I think we're farther in.

We've started at the beginning. It has exactly a thousand views on YouTube and I feel like they're all from you. Well, yeah. I mean, I watch it sometimes. We practice six or seven times before we have the guest actually come in. Right.

And as you can see, even with all that practice, Engineer Ryan did manage to cut the sound out. So it's just we probably need to do it eight or nine times. But now that I've heard the song, I do need to reach back into the bag, and I guess we'll just grab another question out of it. Okay. We do have some more questions. It's the master plan.

Okay. So this is one from Chanson, and he asks, Sadamantium, is that some kind of nerd thing? Please explain. And Chanson is sort of a self-styled bully. He's one of these bullies who you really don't buy it.

Yeah, and he lives on one of those islands in Seattle, so he has to, like, he's looking for targets to bully. Yeah, he's kind of alone. Yeah, it's Wolverine's claws are adamantium, and I'm sad a lot and that is the reason for the album title. Now, how was the sadness affected by

an At Midnight appearance? My record is two wins and nine losses so very much so. I lose almost every time. Who have you lost? And I think that of like whenever I'm on an episode, people on like Reddit and stuff like dislike me more than anyone else

because I look like them. And when I lose, it feels like they're losing too. So they take it really personally. It's difficult to be the avatar for an entire website of angry people, huh? Mm-hmm. Wait, who have you lost to? Yeah, how are they doing? Doing good.

Yeah. But who are some of them? I don't know, but if you ever see someone with blood and beard hairs on their knuckles, you'll know that they've defeated me. Okay, I would like to move on to the normal kind of segment we do. Okay. But I don't know how to close this up. The popcorn gallery itself?

The popcorn gallery, yes. All right. Because I like, you know what I mean? I'm stuck in this. Well, is it just asking a question without a sound drop? Would that do it? We can try that. That's actually a really good idea because we've never done that before.

Yeah. This one's from Ban More Stuff. Mike Lawrence, more like like more ants. Why do you like them so much and why do you want so many more? So the premise of this question is that your name is like more ants why do you like them so much and why do you want so many more so the premise of this question is that your name is like more ants and that you it must mean that you like them so much

yeah that you like ants and you want more ants so sticking with the premise of this question you know which bear in mind we didn't ask the question that might help us get out of it I just had like this intense fear that as I'm dying, that moment will be the last thing that's played in my head.

And that horrifies me on a really deeply personal level. That the blood will be leaving my body, and the life will be leaving my eyes, and I will know that i'm at my final moment and like more ants will be the last thing that i remember and i will feel like no matter what else i do i will have completely wasted my life and that is a very crippling horrifying thing to deal with what do you and who's doing that to you is it your brain does that to you like yeah i think it just that to you? Yeah, I think so.

It just locked it up? I've been having this, what got me to this moment? Thoughts in my head right now. But the question is, why do you like them so much and why do you want some anymore? Oh, I don't know anymore. Oh, okay. I don't think it matters.

Speaking of ants, remember when Ant-Man's trying to steal the Hulk's last Coke? What did you think? Whose side were you on when the Ant-Man's trying to steal the Hulk's last Coke? What did you think? Whose side were you on when the Ant-Man was trying to steal it? That was an out-of-continuity story, and therefore I don't. That's not canon? No, it's not canon. When Ant-Man's taking the Coke?

Well, the Coke is small like Ant-Man. I think that's why he thought it would be his. Because how's the Hulk going to drink a Coke that small? If Ant-Man is small, the amount of sugar that is in that Coke would immediately kill him. Well, and what's funny, too, at the end of the commercial, he does get a little bead of Coke, and that seems like plenty for him. Yeah. Like, he never needed to run away with the whole can.

No. Were you scared when Deadpool was going to take over the big game? Yeah, remember Deadpool was going to invade the big game? Yeah, sorry, invade. No, it was the big game. The big game was the big super game where the Ant-Man commercial initially premiered. Sports stuff. I didn't even watch the Super Bowl.

Even though, but you liked comics and stuff. Because you were afraid of Deadpool invading? I guess. Yeah. I was the same way. I could barely watch it because I'm thinking, I've heard Deadpool's going to invade it. Who knows what he'll do next?

Okay, let me see. We are still in it. That didn't get us out? No. What do you think? Is it a computer thing? Ryan? No, everything's fine over here. Okay. The levels are fine? Yeah, everything's fine over here.

Okay. The levels are fine? Yeah, it's not the computer. Should we ask a question from someone who's already asked a question? Yeah, let's try that. Okay. But we'll do the sound drop. Because we never do that.

We'll do the sound drop. Yeah, we'll do the sound drop. It's just freaking... We'll do the sound drop. Because we never do that. We'll do the sound drop. Yeah, we'll do the sound drop. Liam Gallagher. This one's from Chicken Sandwich again. This is the guy with the big tits. Mm-hmm. Mike, are you still pissed about Dylan going electric? No, that's fine.

It's funny that there was a time when people would actually get mad about art. And they would say critical things about the art and not just be mean and homophobic. It's kind of pleasant. I mean, do you imagine YouTube if Dylan went electric now? Like what the, all of the anti-Semitism and stuff? Like no one insulted him for being Jewish because he did music they didn't like. They just insulted the music. Seems like a really refreshing time.

I remember Mark at the time, your high school friend, did have a lot of stuff. Didn't like him going to Electric. It's not for him. Something about them using all the power. Each new moment that occurs in this podcast, Mike, does it replace the Like More Ants moment for you? It's going like, okay, is i think the bottom yeah is

it just you know sort of like uh revealing these new layers and just taking it down another level or are there a little bit of like an up and down graph happening i mean i think that was the peak the like more ants moment yeah as, as we look back. Yeah. Like the pride that person probably felt in writing that makes me glad that pride is a sin because I know they'll burn in hell. And that makes me feel real good, you know? Yeah. Here's what I think I'd like to try to maybe to get us out of this. Rather than you answering the question, you just tell us how the question makes you feel.

Oh, that's interesting. I feel like if someone could listen to this and completely get the difference between New York and L.A. Uh-huh. This entire thing, then they'd be like, oh, I get it now. Where? Pizza. Yeah. Yeah.

The water's no good here. You can't make good pizza. So I'll just reach back to the back. Great. Did I do Liam twice? I guess it's no Gallagher now. This question's from Houston. When I found out the Mythbusters were just work friends, it broke my heart.

I know you don't have to be best friends with everyone you work with, but are you and Ike friends in real life? And now, you don't have to be best friends with everyone you work with, but are you and Ike friends in real life? And now, rather, you don't have to answer the question about whether you and Ike because it's like a Mike and Ike thing, right? Yeah, yeah. So just respond to the feelings that are being generated in you by that question. I think that the Mythbusters were work friends, and then when they saw that they were getting replaced by the more youthful people on the show, they became best friends. Right. They realized that they were both being phased out and that they had to stand their ground.

It's not an emotional response, but it feels like you're responding more positively to that question than the like more answer question, which is the point of comparison that we have. Yeah. Better than the like more answer question. Mm-hmm. Okay. Good. Let's try one more with the sound drop. Okay.

Yeah. Because I do think this is getting us out of it. I actually think this is going to work. What's the story? This one's from Jeffrey Parties. Mike, any fun stories from the set of Brotherly Love? How is Joey doing? Oh, God. That one, obviously.

That's my answer. Okay, so where is that in the Like More Ants scale of things? We don't answer the questions anymore. I've switched from reconsidering. I've never really drank. I've had a few. That question made me completely understand alcoholism and how comforting it could be. Sure.

Just wanting to blank everything out. Just find a wivian any which way you can. I think after that, like, I'm going to go on a bender today and just, you know, probably divorce my wife. Just really reconsider everything. God. Okay. So we had a pleasant little interlude with the Mythbusters, Mike and I.

Yeah, that was not bad. Mythbusters one was a peak for us. That felt pretty God. Okay. So we had a pleasant little interlude with the Mythbusters. Yeah, that was not bad. Mythbusters 1 was a peak for us. That felt pretty good. Yeah. And now we're back in the depths. Is there any other Mythbusters stuff in there? Because, man, the show was cruising when we had that.

That's it? We don't have any more of that. I'm really sorry. Property Brothers, anything? Is there a comment board for this podcast? Yes, that's where this is all coming from. Yeah, that's where all the questions are coming from. Oh, God. I feel like people are going to hate me so much on it.

And I'm also wrestling with the feelings of like, does it matter? Is it okay? It certainly doesn't matter. I know that. And if I read it, that's my fault. Why don't you respond to them preemptively? The people on the comment boards. Like the guys who

respond to Yelp reviews? That's one of the saddest things to me. them preemptively. The people on the comment boards. Like the guys who respond to Yelp reviews? That's one of the saddest things to me. Hey Jeff, I'm the manager here. It seems like there was a misunderstanding. I think you're being extra salty. Oh, a genuine laugh. That's good. I have confidence.

Okay, let's see how that affects. Maximum one more of these things. We somehow still have a bunch more. But hopefully this will get us out of it. Do we want to try a drop for this one or no drop? I don't think we need to do that. I think we actually do need to do it. We have to do a drop.

Yeah, just remembering the pattern, I think we do have to do a drop. Okay. I think you should just start doing the Beatles songs that Oasis blatantly ripped off. Well, I will. They did I Am the Walrus. They straight up covered it.

Okay. This one's from The J Jar. Mikey Boy, he says. Now, what is that doing? Does him addressing you as Mikey Boy? Feels too familiar or you're liking it

yeah it's okay okay alright yeah not bad good news JJ do you think Carson Wentz is the real deal or is playing at

puny North Dakota State too much of a detriment to overlook also Kuyper or McShea okay he's tickled by this one but I don't know it might be in a bad way well now i'm wrestling

with this thought of like i can't tell if you guys wrote these questions yourself and if you did then that's even like you know god i feel even worse but if i did genuinely get people to write questions because they knew i was on the show, then I'm like, oh, I guess I do matter after all. That's where I'm at emotionally now. I love the request for context. These are written by actual people who's not us

and we have looked into this. I, for a while, thought it might be Sean. Sean thought it might be me. These are after a lot of nanny cams, it turns out, different people who are not in this room. I gotcha.

But the question... Kuiper or McShay? Just... Neutral? Is it sort of a don't make me pig? Or Mythbusters? Or Like More Ants? I don't know me pig? Or Mythbusters or Like More Ants. I don't know.

Now I'm looking at the – I'm sitting at a table with all these names written on it. Yeah, that's going to have an effect. Now, I know I've done a podcast here before. Okay. And I don't know if I wrote on it or if I did write on it or if it was erased. So now I'm dealing with whether or not I actually exist. Is the way out of the popcorn gallery to just investigate the table for a while and see if we can find this name?

Where do you think you sat and where would you have signed it? I don't know. There's equipment covering stuff. I have no idea. Right. But that was probably there when you were here. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Now, there have been two tables as well. There was another table at one point. Yeah, I think the last time I was here was in 2014 around— For Sklarball Country? No, no. I'm doing that a couple days, though. February. Now, there's a 100% chance that someone on this table has beaten you at at midnight.

Oh, yeah. There's no way that's not the case and he has his name on this thing at least six times i've seen yes you're not going to be able to escape paul f tompkins so he did so he was one of your betters on oh yeah unbelievable uh god maybe a short one i'm sorry we are still in this my meters are going crazy over here by the way on my laptop are you not seeing this ryan God, maybe a short one. I'm sorry. We are still in this. My meters are going crazy over here, by the way, on my laptop. Are you not seeing this, Ryan? Ryan?

We're, like, just, like, not the sound levels, but. Is there supposed to be sound coming from your computer right now? No, but just, like, all my, like. All his equipment and devices. So you hear that ping? That's out of control. Oh, okay. Well, I can't do anything about that. I'm sorry.

Okay, this one's from Diet Meat. Okay. It's Robbie Clark. Okay, so we are... It's just the biggest name I could see. Okay. Mark said. Go ahead.

So he asks, Did you ever get bullied so bad you cried? I don't know what it is with all the bully stuff. Mark said. Go ahead. So he asks, did you ever get bullied so bad you cried? I don't know what it is with all the bully stuff. It seems like this huge theme here, and I don't know where that... Good gracious. It's either that or, like, stuff about your name,

Horace and Pete, of course. Yeah. And the WordPress, which... The WordPress. What if the Horace and Pete question was written by CK as a way to publicize the show? The no horse, man. Any which way they've got to find some kind of new style of marketing. And if it's getting in the popcorn gallery and infiltrating our audience.

Then people are going to be like, everybody's talking about it. And so that question, did that provoke any emotions in you? No, not really. Okay. I think my spirit has now left my body. And is that good? I don't know yet. Okay.

We're going to figure it out. Let's not put any judgment on it. Now here, this one seems like a real personal question. Should we try that? Yeah. Okay. Let's do no sound. Yeah, please.

This one's from Norm, and it's, Mike, can you tell me one of your mom's jokes? um yeah it was why why can't Frankenstein have kids because his nuts are in his neck

that did it yeah that got us out yeah yeah oh wow that was great all the levels are back to normal

thanks mom we are out of time to do any of the other movie stuff that we wanted to do all the movie stuff we were talking about we wanted to do yeah but Mike thank you we were talking about. We wanted to do.

Yeah. But, Mike, thank you for coming on the show. Where is your spirit now? It is at TheMikeLawrence on Twitter. Oh, TheMikeLawrence on Twitter. MikeLawrenceComedy.com. That was a great segue right there. Yeah.

Yeah. And it was on Thursday's At Midnight episode that you can now see on the Comedy Central app. And also my upcoming Comedy Central web series on Snapchat, You're Wrong. And I wrote on Inside Amy Schumer this season, and that is on Comedy Central starting the 21st of April. But maybe it's there after. Who knows? Now, I'm so sorry about this, but something you said there did get us back into the Power Gallery

because one of our users actually asked if you considered changing your URL from MikeLawrence.com to MikeLawrence.comedy. And I forget exactly who it was, but since we're in the popcorn gallery, I do have to find it. And then is that something you've considered? No.

Yeah, I don't think. It wouldn't work. Oh, look, those are real people. Yeah, these are all real people, and I guess whoever asked this will probably get the pro version. Let me see. And see, it was RoboTam. See, he asked shortening it from MikeLawrenceComedy.com to MikeLawrence.Comedy.

Oh, I got you. So I guess we will be living in the Popcorn Gallery for the rest of this week since we are in it. And Mike has to live in it as well. But this will be good. I think it will give us more of an opportunity to kind of like get to know each other and ask more questions. We'll be doing it off the podcast, but we will. But just know that's happening.

We're getting inside each other's brains. We're continuing to ask these questions. But at what moment do we revert to cannibalism? We can't die. We cannot die. Because, I mean, we're going to get sick of the popcorn. Sure. But that's actually useful for the cannibalism because we can eat each other.

And then we're going to start thinking about how buttery our insides will be because of the popcorn, and that's going to make us want to kill each other. Sure, yeah, just to use each other as a sauce. As we we know that's impossible I'm looking and realizing like

I'm burlier and bigger than you guys but that also means that you with your podcasting history could double team me and possibly beat me but if I take you out individually I could probably easily kill you guys yeah you probably want to get a jump on it but there is no dying

but we can be there is sort of endlessly there is no dying in the Popcorn Gallery. But we can be... Okay, yeah, now I'm thinking... There is sort of endlessly brutalizing each other in the Popcorn Gallery because there is no death. You can't actually die in there. The only entertainment we have. But you can't chop each other up, use each other as a sauce.

Other than the questions. I just imagine biting your leg as Sean is, like, screaming out Oasis B-sides. Mm-hmm. So here's a question from Mike Bonetti, and he asks, Mike, cool name, huh? Yeah.

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