Hollywood Handbook - Mike O'Brien, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: November 23, 2015

Hayes and Sean bust into the Teaser Freezer for a hilarious look at the "By the Sea" trailer. Then MIKE O'BRIEN turns up to dish on SNL gossip and play some clips of the best sketches that didn't make his new comedy album.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. or some shit. Yes, yes, yes. The fucking... The chick? The babe from it. Yes. You know, semi-babe. Yes. So we're chilling. We're on the San Antonio Riverwalk, and we're just philosophizing, essentially. Wait, in the tubing? Are you in a tube?

No, we're standing. Okay. Because you can tube there as well. Yeah, but we're standing on these platforms. And we're just philosophizing, kicking it, talking about real shit, deep shit. And I go, you know, I'm kind of leading the discussion. You know, we joke about it. But honestly, and be honest, and that's sort of one of the rules in our discussions

is you do have to be honest what would you no bullshit what would you actually fucking do for a fucking klondike bar and scott goes well i can S my own D wow I guess I'd be willing to do that on camera on cam even though that might jeopardize my career is playing kind of a nice dad and Hermione goes

I would tape that that's what she would do for a Klondike bar she would tape Scott adds it no well she's being honest she's responding to just like she's because I I thought are you allowed to die is that one of the rules that you're allowed to sort of diverge like that and go she's just it's Scott's it's still Scott's turn we're still discussing well that's what I'm saying it's still Scott's turn then why is Emma I just don't. We're all chiming in on his

volunteered information, and there's no judgment allowed. And I expected her to go, ew, I don't want to see that. What she said was, I would tape that. You know? And I didn't have a Klondike bar with me, but

I said, if you did that, I would give you one. And then I said, you know... Because you have sort of a hosting network for a bunch of cams. Like, you'll have people who will come on cam and, like, do all kinds of different stuff, right? Yeah, anything from the grotesque to the sublime

can be experienced via CAM for the right number of tokens. And that's a system that's in place to provide intimacy to those who are shut in. It's safe. It's a safe way to interact with a person who you can see and hear

without danger of them touching you. Unless you want to go off the public cam and arrange something. But to me it's providing a necessary service because there are so many freaks, weirdos,

dweebies, dorks, and losers who would otherwise not be able to see a woman without flailing, just kind of like lashing out with their We'd be these dorks and losers who would otherwise not be able to see a woman. Without flailing, just kind of like lashing out with their limbs. And it's safe for the people on the other side of the camp who want to, you know, a lot of these people are natural exhibitionists. And they want to show off. That's something they want to share. They want to share, whether it be their body, a special skill,

or just a willingness to challenge your concept of what's profane. But all of your cams are outdoors. What's the thinking behind that? Just I don't want to have to pay rent on a space. A lot of

them look like they're like outside of hotels. It almost looks like you went in to like negotiate a rate to like go in and do it. At the hotel, failed to find one I was happy with and said, fuck it, we're going anyway. Just do it right outside. Yeah, and just did it right outside in the lot. A lot of them look that way? Yeah, and just did it right outside in the lot. A lot of them look that way?

Yes, because you're also doing sometimes like just kind of rolling through different, you know, you'll like set up one shot. And it looks like at the end of one cam feed, the last person is leaving and the new one is kind of coming in to do it. It seems like you might kind of stack them up. Catch the tail end of another cam performance on the... Yeah, well, look, it's not a perfect system. I didn't say we've got all the bugs out. We haven't ironed out all the kinks. But I still think it's knowable what we're trying to do. Sure.

And we get pretty damn close. And I think our customers do appreciate it. And you don't want to iron out all the kink, obviously, because that's like what a lot of people are there for. Some of it, yeah. Some of what's so rich and fulfilling about the experience is the sort of homemade feel. Yeah.

You know when a pie crust is a little more rustic, it's not store-bought, and it's imperfect in these ways that let you know that it comes from a place of love? That's how I feel about the cam sessions. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook and Insider's Guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet line back hallways of this industry we call showbiz. And what up, what up?

And it isn't iambic pentameter. Like, you know, how the rhythms da-da-da-da-da-da. But that's stage performance, and it has its own language. We want to get into a famous segment that we do. Sometimes we see a really good-looking teaser, and we do just the really quick thing where I'm opening up the freezer. Yeah, and it's cold in there. Oh, brr. We get in there. Our teeth are chattering, and we'll physically opening up the freezer. Yeah, and it's cold in there. Oh, brr, you know, and like.

We get in there. Our teeth are chattering, and we'll like physically go inside the freezer, and we'll talk about how cold it is. We'll see a lot of cold stuff sometimes, like polar bears or like Santa Claus. Yeah, we've definitely done sled dogs and said mush and stuff like that before. Eskimo. Snowman from Frozen comes to life. Snowman.

Bobble Snowman. Yes. He comes and dances with us. snowman from Frozen comes to life and dances with us so and then we'll like get the freezer get the freezer we're inside the freezer get the freezer we'll get the teaser

out of the freezer and then we'll take it out of the freezer shut the freezer door thaw out the with a hair dryer and then watch it and then put on the teaser and we'll talk about it as we listen to it. Present it to you free of charge, yeah.

Yes. And the segment's called The Teaser Freezer because of all the cold, freezy elements and stuff. And we're going to do a segment of that for the movie By the Sea, exciting movie with a lot of major stars big stars and you can

look at it and it's what else did I want to say about it probably something about going to the box office and pointing at

the movie and selecting which movie you're going to see letting the ticket dispenser know at the movie and... Selecting which movie you're going to see, letting the ticket dispenser know. Choosing a seat with one seat in between.

You need more than one. Right. It would have to be more than one seat in between because they can't just leave one loose. Can't leave one seat. And that's honestly good because I don't want to be sitting next to a guy. Two seats apart. No.

I need a buffer. You ever go to the movies with your boy, and you're in a theater that's not that full, and dudes sit right next to you, and you've got to be like, bro, we need a buffer, dude. It's like, get the seat in the middle, put that for the popcorn,

because I don't want you reaching down in my freaking area. I have the same pillow, honestly, that I use for, like, if my friend and I are sleeping in the same bed in a hotel room, which is, like, just nice to have someone there to sort of talk to. If, like, you sort of just think of something to talk about as you're, like, going to sleep, but you don't want to, like, touch them or anything. You just want to be able to talk to them you're like going to sleep, but you don't want to like touch them or anything. You just want to be able to talk to them as you're going to sleep. So that you put the pillow in between you guys in the hotel bed.

And that's safe. Yes. And so you bring this pillow around anytime you're in a situation where you would be sitting or lying down next to a guy, you put up this pillow and that's the buffer. And it's a full-length body pillow. And then what is it filled with? Buckwheat? Yes.

It's got really thick. So it's loud. So you don't jostle it during the movie. Loud as shit. And it's got, like, a strong guy on it who's able to, like, figuratively, like, buff everyone away from each other. He's strong enough to hold everyone back. Yeah, so just to paint the picture,

Hayes is hugging a full-length body pillow with a picture of a muscular man on it in order to prevent people from getting the wrong idea about him sharing a movie theater space with a male friend of his. Because if anyone tried to come up and initiate contact, I would push the strong guy at them and it'd be like, get out of here. He's your defender, isn't he? Yes.

So we're going to do the teaser. We're doing the pledge drive, right? It's almost the end of the year. So we are doing the pledge drive, right? It's almost the end of the year. So we are doing the drive. We're just going to do the teaser freezer. But this is just something to keep in mind throughout this episode, really. So let's go into the teaser freezer for By the Sea. So they're walking in to the hotel.

He's in the tub. He's riding in the tub. And she... She's looking... She looks... Yeah, she looks... I don't know what she's looking at. She's smoked. Smoked with the sunglasses.

By the window with the glasses. I was going to say that. He's looking at him, too. Now, if you want to hear some other great content like the Teaser Freezer we're doing now. If you're loving this and you want more badass, hilarious content, just like the Teaser Freezer you've been listening to,

make sure you donate to the pledge drive. You could do it all the way up to April 15th or something like that to get the money back on the thing. And I really can't take the time to walk you through it. But if you donate now and you donate big, $3,000 or more, you get a ringtone of Hayes doing the line from that Spencer Pratt rap song that he made where he said, this is ringtone rap.

And we love doing this stuff for you guys. We love coming in here and seeing all the engineers, and it really is like this great family for us. We would love for you to join our family, become a member today. We have a new system where you can donate your car. You just drive it up, drop it off. It's like the easiest thing. And if you give us your address, we can actually come get it as well.

You will have to, I guess, give us a ride to the car, because otherwise we would be leaving our car there uh do you need to bring us to your car so we can drive your car back to our own car because just logistically that would make sense because otherwise we would be giving you uh a car that is better we're not trading cars we're getting your car they're back in the same hotel room she took uh looks like a a pill oh the clouds big fucking hat walking on the beach you know bath is that the same bathtub you're nothing okay we're having fun in the teaser freezer we do just want to take a second to talk about the pledge drive.

And for people who hate that we have to cut in and do this pledge drive and we hear you complain and we realize it is annoying, you want to get back to the teaser freezer. It's so fun. It's so funny. And we know you want to hear more of that. But honestly, the more you donate, the easier it is for us to keep making the show that you love. And if you only want to hear these pledge drives once a year, which we try to only do it once,

then you do need to donate. And here's another fun way you can donate. Give us all your clothes. We'll put them on in front of you as a special incentive. And so if you want to see how we look dressed like you, which I know most of you do, please get down to the studio, leave your car here, leave your clothes here. And if you have puppies or kitties, we'll find them a home. We have a really exciting announcement. All the donations of clothes and cars are going to be matched by Engineer Ryan, who has a lot of clothes that he loves. He sort of peacocks the way he dresses and things, and he's got all these pieces that he's just pulled from,

just like his travels, you know, like very fancy silks. Yeah, he has this whole philosophy that's like, don't pack, just collect. And so every time he goes on a trip, he brings an empty suitcase, and by the time he gets back to the U.S., it's filled with all these exotic pieces of outerwear. So back to the teaser freezer. Right. There's a hotel.

It's dark. I can't even really see what's happening. It says by the sea. It's directed by... Okay. That was the teaser freezer. We are going to play it again from the beginning. But just before we do that,

we do just want to talk about the pledge drive for a second. One thing that's really important to realize is you can donate your mommy and daddy to us. You just drive them down. And if you don't, if you're not using them or if you just think that we could make better use of them than you can, we'll put them to work in one of our podcast camps that we've been sort of organizing where we are generating all the energy for the studio by having people's mommies and daddies walk on a treadmill that's hooked up to this sort of battery. Put all your clothes on your mommy and daddy.

Have your mommy and daddy drive your car to the Earwolf studio. Puppies and kitties in the back seat. Puppies and kitties running around safely in the back seat because you don't want them to run under the brakes as mommy's driving the car to the studio. Or scratch daddy's head as he's trying to make a left turn. But he's wearing all your hats. Mm-hmm. And so that could be safe as well. Less of a concern, yeah.

So definitely donate your mommies and daddies and we'll come to your school. And we'll talk about recycling. We will take over your school as a new prize that we're giving out. We'll match your mommy and daddy donation dollar for dollar with a school takeover. Ryan's been through nine or ten adopted families, so he's matching all the mommy and daddy donations because he has a bunch of mommies and daddies to give you back. And we will become principals for a day and it will be the rockinest day in your school history. And you'll learn a lot about recycling.

Richie Sambora will show up to do a recycling demonstration. To riff and do the recycling. Well, Hayes knows how it goes, but we sing a pretty badass song about how to save the earth. Bottles and cans. Yes, we cans. Put them in the blue bins, because you know it's a sin to take a plastic baggie. And how does it go after that? It goes, oh, yeah.

Where'd you leave off? Take a plastic baggie. Take a plastic baggie. Okay, and this is where it gets a little controversial. Do we just skip that line? We may want to just leave that one out. But it's telling you not to be... For a school takeover.

Yeah. But anyway, it's a great song, and Richie just shreds the shit out of it, and it's going to be really fun but let's get back to the beginning of the teaser freezer so this is the beginning of the trip where they're going to the hotel yeah they both have

expensive sunglasses riding in the bathtub and sitting on the nice chair sometimes and smoke on the nice chair. Sometimes and smoke by the window. I remember that part. People looking rich sometimes to me is better than a movie having a story. Hey guys, we do want to talk about the pledge drive for one more

second. Hate to cut in and you love the teaser freezer. You love the funniness that comes out of that, but it doesn't come for free and unfortunately we do have expenses. We have a pledge drive going right now. We've raised a lot, but we still need more. What we're looking for is a place to crash. We really need somewhere to sort of rest our weary bones.

We've been podcasted day and night. And we need to lie down. If you could somehow give your mommy and daddy the keys to your place, I guess they'll probably be on the key chain they use to drive the car here. Because the cars are just for us to be able to get to your house, essentially. Engineer Ryan has an extra bedroom. You can pile in there. In the meantime, we will be staying in your home.

And people have asked, why don't you just pile the clothes up on the back seat and use that as a place to lie down? That just doesn't work. And I want to be wearing the seatbelt in case the car does start moving, and that makes it very uncomfortable. Because if it starts moving while I'm asleep and I don't wake up, that could be very dangerous. And so that is not a helpful pitch. Hayes and I share a condition where we can't be woken up by jostling.

And so if you're just counting on that for the motion to cause us to stir awake, you're going to be sorely disappointed. And we will wind up dead. Okay. Now there's some people who'll talk. Welcome back to the Pledge Drive. Please donate your medicine, any kind of medicine that's not too big to swallow. Or if you do cut it up beforehand, then we would really appreciate some of your medicine.

And if it's too big to swallow, please just write on the label whether it's safe to stick in somewhere else. And if doing that will get us off and get us the high that we're looking for. Have your mommies and daddies explain to us how to do it. Right. Don't write anything down. Teach your mommies and daddies what the medicine is, what it does, and if it's an upper or a downer.

And have them tell us it's something else to get us to take it or to put it in mac and cheese. Yes. If they can say that it's a candy or if they can tell us that it's a power pill or something like that that's going to give us superpowers, that would probably make us much more likely to munch on the medicine, which we do need to be healthy boys. The beach. They're on the beach. Looks like it might be. Are we ever going to talk about it? France. Remember, he goes, are we ever going to talk about it? France. Remember, he goes, are we ever going to talk about it?

Hey, guys. We do love doing all this content for you, and it is free, and we love that people can listen to it for free. It's as exciting as the teaser freezer can be, and we know that you guys are eager to get back to it, and trust me, we are too. We love to make this stuff, but we can't do it for free and we can't do it if we don't get a bath. So we do need your mommies and daddies to put us in a tub and to wash us up real good. I won't get fresh. I won't touch anything unless I'm invited

to, but I do need someone to wash the places I can't reach. And it's got to be your mommy and your daddy. Then people are, I'm sure, asking her like, what about Howell? Was that making all this money? It seems like Howell is maybe an aborted project at this point. I'm not sure. I've been hearing less about it and I don't know if it went away. I don't think our archives ever went behind the paywall as far as I know. I don't know that they ever figured out the infrastructure or if there even is anything.

If you go to Howell, it might be like a furniture store website at this point. So if you think that's where we got the money and that we can just buy our own baths with Howl money, you're wrong. We were hoping to take a lot of nice baths from doing Howl, but now it looks like we will be depending on your kindness in order to have a bath. We will need your mommies and daddies to trick us again into doing it. They have to say that there's something fun going on in the tub. Maybe there's a game or they somehow make it that we're submarine captains.

Or maybe some of our guys are in trouble. Like, you know, she took some of our little guys and, like, put them in the tub and... If I could feel like I'm a hero by getting into the tub, then that's going to go a long way in terms of making me actually stay in there long enough to get clean. So...

It's the first... So... It says by the sea. By the sea, yeah. And I wonder if there's anyone else. Is it just the two of them in the movie, I wonder? I don't know. We'll just have to find out.

No, I saw an old guy in it. So that was the Teaser Freezer. We have a great guest today. Mike O'Brien is here. Promoting his sketch album. Sketch album. Tasty Radio. Hollywood Handbook.

Hollywood Handbook. So I'm with Russell Peters on the Alaska cruise. And they stop at all these little, like, old times gold mining villages. And you go out and you do activities. And they had sort of a pan station. Yes. And I'm, of course, like, you know, first one to the gold. Ready.

Rolling up your pant legs. Yeah, I'm, of course, like, you know, first one to the gold. Ready. Rolling up your pant legs. Yeah, I'm shaking it. And this lady next to me comes up. She's like, I got, look, I got this big thing. Oh. And I'm, you know, I'm like excited. I just hear that I'm really excited because I want everyone to do well. Naturally, yeah.

You're always rooting for the underdog. And it's like a rising tide and all that. Yeah, it lifts all the clouds. It means there's gold in the station. It wasn't a river, but it's designed to sort of simulate a river. But then I see that like most of her body is in my area. So it's not really her goal. Do you know?

And they're marked. There are lines marking where you're kind of supposed to. Oh, no. Because if everyone could just run up and down the thing, it'd be dangerous. Yeah. Well, rules are part of what makes it fun. And so they're like, she's a kid. She was a little kid.

I started to get really fired up, and Russell is sort of pulling me away. I'm overpowering him. And I don't want to make too much of a comment, but everyone's now siding with the female in this situation. Yes, of course. Which seems to be the way the wind is blowing with the college stuff and Broad City and everything and so eventually I'm like you know what

just fucking pay it forward wow I said pay it forward and I'd forgotten that someone had done that for me a while around when the movie came out so it had paid it forward to me Someone had done that for me a while, you know, around when the movie came out. Someone had paid it forward to me.

And so you mean that she can't keep it? You told her she can't keep it. She has to give it to someone. Well, she actually has to do three major favors. If you remember how pay it forward works. I do. I do. You booked up her week. That can't be repaid.

You booked up her week. That can't be repaid. Like she has to let Jim Caviezel, a homeless guy, live in her garage, is one of them. Oh, you got to pick them too. Well, it has to be the ones from the movie. Oh, you do those three. She has to set up Kevin Spacey with her mom. But he's got.

So he can finally get it wet. Because he's got... He got all burned up. Yeah. One time. And I also called her... I called her something that I didn't think was a racial slur, but afterwards Russell was like, that is a racial slur. Okay.

But it was for something that is not what she was. Then that should be fine, right? Because she was like a thing, but she wasn't. The one thing you were. She wasn't the thing that I unknowingly was saying that she was. So I apologized for that, but then I had her pay forward the apology as well. Wow. What a giant spirit you have.

And I didn't think that's where the story was going. And I thought you were going to actually, I was nervous that you were going to throttle her. No. Somehow physically assault her in order to get the gold. Well, I did have all this kind of energy built up, but Russell gave me

like a cool marble to sort of play with on the way home. Oh, right, to kind of anchor your... Yeah. Oh, that's great. So... Hey! Oh, right. To kind of anchor your... Yeah. Oh, that's great. So... Hey! Oh, hey. Welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet linebacker hallways of this industry we call showbiz.

What up, what up? I think that's the best one I've ever done. I loved it, and I think our guest did, too, and you've already heard his voice, so why wait to introduce him? And most people... I don't want to do it again. Oh, you're going to go over it? Okay, great. Right? Yeah. No, it's better

than you do it. I should say something. Yeah, just because if anyone's listening, and a lot of people do, they'll know for the future. And if people... And you're doing them a favor, Mike. If people do listen to the show beforehand, I know you didn't, but if people... I can tell you didn't because of what you just did.

But for future guests, if they do listen to the show beforehand, the first initial chat is kind of like for listeners to just kind of anchor themselves with us. Sort of off limits for the guests. Yes. A little bit. You can imagine how confusing that would be. Absolutely.

I mean, in a sense, it's like I hopped over the red carpet stanchion. It's not even in a sense that that's what you did. It is literally that. Well, I don't know about that. It's sort of like, let's say you went to a pornographic theater. Sure. Sure. Yeah. And you're watching and you're enjoying and you're enjoying in the way that people enjoy themselves in that theater. And suddenly someone spliced in some footage from like Paycheck, which is a pretty good Affleck vehicle. But it's not what you came to see. Right.

It's not what you came to see. I'm not saying you're bad, Mike. You're Paycheck to me. Oh, and you're porn to yourself. Yes, and to many of our listeners yeah i mean i would hate that i know i do go to those theaters a good amount um haven't figured out a better way to watch my porn but i drive over to them get some popcorn loosen the belt and watch a film how do you handle the drive home just crying crying. Okay.

Because it's always sort of uncomfortable. Yeah. Especially if you Uber pool, and they're like, oh, that was a weird place you came out of, and you're like, I don't want to talk. Yeah, right. I need a minute to myself. They always want to chat afterwards.

First of all, I'm very out of breath. Yeah. That's number one for me. Take note of the sweatiness out of breath. Yeah. Like, that's number one for me. Take note of the sweatiness. Jeeps. Yeah. Now, Mike, SNL, you did that. Plug, plug.

Did you ever meet the host? I didn't. I had, it was a weird, bad run of six years where I just was always going in the room right as he or she had left. Just bad luck. Timing. Yeah. I met a million people who met the host. Okay.

What was that like? That was cool. That was pretty cool. The girl who had met Polar is probably my favorite, if I had to pick a favorite. You must have been freaking out. I freaked out. I freaked out. So sweet.

And humble, too. She was from the makeup department or whatever. And she didn't have a big head about her. She was like, oh, yeah, I met her. Amy's so nice. And I was like, thank you for talking to me. It was super sweet. You're always afraid that the people are going to be like, they seem nice, but they're going to end up right.

Yes, they say don't meet your heroes. And I think the reason is that sometimes those makeup department women will have very big heads. Yes. And will sort of be like, what's the word for it? Bitches. Oh, yeah. Just nasty. I couldn't, yeah.

Yeah, and they'll just be like sort of like high timing you. Yeah. Not the magazine. No, no. Right, just like big timing you even. Oh, okay. Because I don't know if high timing is so. Is that a magazine?

Do they all have to be magazines? I guess I don't. I didn't listen to the show. Well, we know that. But that's so cool that you met the girl who met the host, Michael, and that's some of what we talk about on the show is like, you know, we don't always want to make it about name dropping, but these are the names of the people we actually know,

so how do we talk about it without doing that? But to go back to SNL for a moment. Yeah. Was Green Day ever on when you were there? Thank you. Thank you. No. Okay.

Because we're kind of like Green Day. Wait, you thanked him for asking if Green Day was there because they weren't ever there? Right. I've been waiting for someone to ask me. It was so weird that they, you know, America Isn't Good came out during that time, and you'd think they would have toured that. They also had the Broadway version of it. In New York.

Right, right, right. Speaking of the big name drop. Yeah. What's your favorite track off the Broadway version? I think... Is it Angry About War? Angry About War is great. I thought Bye Bye Government was also very good.

And not on the album. It's only in the Broadway show. Oh, wow. For me, Suck My Flag is the only song that's really worth turning all the way up on the album. It's only in the Broadway show. Oh, wow. For me, Suck My Flag is the only song that's really worth turning all the way up on the volume dial. Yeah. Well, they recorded it quieter, too.

Yes, that one. Yeah, they're whispering it. So they won't hurt your speakers if you turn it all the way up. Yeah. Don't get my stars and bars stuck in your throat. Right. So, yeah, that fucking shit rules.

Let's talk about the album, Mike. What section of... I'm sorry, the Green Day album or Mike's album? I was going to talk about Mike's album. You want to do that now? Yes. Okay. What part of Sam Goody is it in?

You know if you go back by the bathrooms? Yes. There's a bunch of... There's a bulletin board with a bunch of flyers. in? You know, if you go back by the bathrooms, there's a bulletin board with a bunch of flyers. Under that... Sorry, Mike, those are for employees, those bathrooms. Oh. You're not using the Sam Goody bathrooms, right? I have

done that, yeah. So I guess I'll use this airtime to... Does this play in Sam Goody's speakers? Yes. I'm very sorry to the management of Sam Goody for just 10 years of bathroom humiliations, humiliating them. Okay. Anyway, it's over by there. It's in between jazz and contemporary jazz.

Ah. It's tough to find. Mm, between jazz and contemporary jazz. Okay. And I guess you wanted to talk about sort of the process of putting the album together. Yes. sort of the process of putting the album together. Yes.

And the fact that with these CD-Rs, you can only get so much stuff on there. Right. A CD-R has a limit of 70 minutes, so the album's 70 minutes long. But we recorded, I don't know, a couple hours worth of stuff, so a lot hits the cutting room floor. Yeah, sure, I guess so., a couple hours worth of stuff. So a lot hits the cutting room floor. Yeah, sure.

I guess so. And it must be some good stuff, too. Yeah. Oh, there was enough for a whole other album that was as good or better, I'd say. Oh, wow. And then weird technical issues and the FCS and everything will come down and say, oh, you can't put this on. You can't say that. Sure.

And how is that different from the FCC? FCS is the splinter group that's more aggressive. It's run by Anonymous, and you listen to them. I don't worry about the FCC as much. That's my dad's censorship, you know. Oh, wow. Yeah, FCC I can take on just the way that Howard Stern did. What did you guys do on the 5th of November?

How did you protect yourself this year? Me personally? Yeah. Oh, well, I just got in my tunnel. I dug a little tunnel that I hide in. Like El Chapo? Is it like El Chapo? I think mine's nicer. Do I have that name right?

His was air conditioned, I believe, and had a motorcycle track. Mm-hmm. Yeah, but you could only fit, like, dirt bikes on it, really. But mine, you can get a full badass Harley. Oh, nice. Yeah, his was a little more like a... I mean, he calls it a motorcycle track, but honestly, Mike, they're riding dirt bikes on that thing.

And you don't want to use it because it would be so loud in the tunnel if you turned the motorcycle on, but you can kind of straddle it and walk it with your feet sort of all the way down the tunnel. Yeah, and I'll build a little ramp, and I'll get onto my fucking Ducati, and I'll just kick my feet up, roll down, and then jump off, and the bike falls over. That's all in the future. You're going to do that. That's ideally. Yeah.

So, but how did you protect yourself on November 5th? November 5th, I got a, I have a Colt Defender, which is a handgun BB gun. And I loaded her up and sat by the front door with a bottle of whiskey and, you know, come on in and meet your maker, you know, type vibe. And you're almost begging them to enter. At that point, yeah, you want to just start picking off guys. You wish someone would, yeah. I did get a hand BB gun, and I just haven't had the guts to.

I want to shoot cans in the backyard, and I haven't had the guts to do it. I feel like the neighbors would be like, are you fucking kidding me? You're standing in the backyard shooting a gun. I don't think you can do that in the city. And you'd be yelling it's a BB gun, but I also wouldn't be stopping shooting. I'd be yelling over the shots. And what would you be yelling? It's a BB gun.

Yeah, he said that. Yeah, or the lyrics to 21 Guns. Yeah. I was not listening to you. I yelled a curse to suck my flag. As a revenge move, I wasn't listening because you didn't listen to the show, so I'm not going to listen to you. Okay.

And we'll see how you like it when people don't listen to you. It's not fun. No, no. I've learned a lesson. Yeah. That's a different kind of paying it forward. Mm-hmm. It works both ways. Yeah've learned a lesson. Yeah. That's a different kind of paying it forward. Mm-hmm. It works both ways.

Yeah, paying it backward. Mike, let's play some of your favorite sketches. The ones you wish you had time for. That didn't make it. Like, we've heard them all, and we have some that we like, and you can talk about the ones that you like. I mean, for all the talk about whether I've listened to this show, I'll believe you that you've heard them all.

You listened to all the ones on the... We listened to all the ones on the raw tape. Yeah. Yes, the raw tape. Yes, the Darth Vader is the worst boss in the office, that one. Yes. Do you want to do that one? I thought that was so funny.

I couldn't believe that one didn't make the cut because that one was crushing me. I know. I almost crashed my fucking Ducati. I was like, when I thought of it, I was like, that's an office I don't want to work in. Yes. No, he's the worst boss in the office. Yes, he's the worst boss in the office, He's the worst boss in the office and that title too just really gets it

all out there. There's a really complicated system of the org management. Yeah. I have five bosses, you know, everyone.

Yeah, one's Spider-Man, one's Darth Vader, one's Gandalf. I don't want to say they all. And Spider-Man's fine. He's like a decent boss. Yeah, he's okay, but he's also kind of a pussy.

Yeah. Do we want to play that, or do you want to explain sort of where that idea came from? I want to do a different one. Oh, okay. This one was actual. This one we just stole the audio from a gay porn called Construction Island. And we would just take it out, take out the sex parts.

And then we just spliced together and it was a, we don't have to do the whole thing, but it was a 28 minute long track that's just all the dialogue from Construction Island. Just construction island information. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, let's just all the dialogue from Construction Island. Just construction island information. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Let's just play that. That sounds great.

Cool. Oh. Where am I? My plane crashed. What is this place? Let me help you up there, partner. You're on Construction Island. You're going to have to get a helmet.

It's not safe. Oh, okay. How do I get a helmet? Are you guys going to give me a helmet? Do we have any extra helmets? You wish it was that easy. You're going to have to... Hey, you guys, we got one hour till that whole building has to be done

hand me that uh wrench so as you could tell in the track it took less and less flirting for them to get right to the sex parts each time. There's a cut to a brief moment of silence between two characters. And on the screen, what you're seeing there is they're shaking hands. And that's their flirtation. Wow. And it's actually a pretty good movie. Yeah, and it doesn't do well in just the audio.

It's actually a pretty good movie. Yeah, and it doesn't do well in just the audio. It's mostly visual. I think those guys might have been like Cirque or something too because they were jumping around. What is the sound between, because just from a production standpoint, how people put these things together, you can sort of hear a sound that represents cutting between scenes. Right.

What is that noise? That's just, you can't not have that when you cut. That's just technology. That's static, kind of feedbacky, and we haven't found a way around that. Gosh, I'm learning so much about the audio business. Engineer Ryan, are you listening? Let's talk about drive-thru prank.

I thought drive-thru prank was really funny. Was that real? Yeah. You actually did that prank? Yeah, the guy, the employee is real. Okay, the employee is the... He was a guy just working at Burger King and didn't know we were having some fun. Oh, wow.

Yeah. Okay, and it was you and your buddies, I guess? It was me and my dad, wow. Yeah. Okay. And it was you and your buddies, I guess? It was me and my dad, actually. We were driving. When we drove through, we threw some mics on, and we kind of were like, I don't want to give anything away. But the challenge we gave ourselves, we were like, what's a non-ideal food order? Okay, great. Do we want to just play that one?

Yeah, let's take a listen. Okay, great. Welcome to the drive just play that one? Yeah, let's take a listen. Okay, great. Welcome to the drive-thru. Can I help you? Yeah, this is Burger King, right? Shut up. No. Oh. Yeah, it is.

Oh Yeah it is Uh Well no it's It's not Oh okay What is it? Pizza Hut Ah

Okay Well Do you guys have any pizza? Yeah Almost exclusively Do you guys have any pizza? Yeah, almost exclusively. Yeah, I think we'll take pretty hungry 25 pizzas. No cheese on those. Do you have milk? No.

Well, then I'd like to speak to a manager. I'm the manager. Oh, fuck. Should we just go? Should we just go? Nothing. Nothing, bye. Okay, this wasn't a phone call.

And we had to go back the next day to get him to do the phone call line again. And he was so confused, but we were driving away and the engine went over. But he was nice. He did it again. He did six. This isn't a phone call, and that's take four. Oh, wow. Everything else is real Cod audio from just kind of a fun,

little bit out there date. Okay, so you went back to get him doing that take again. I would think you might also go, because it seemed like you went to the wrong restaurant. Yeah, yeah. And the joke was to order pizza from Burger King. And I could see how you would get crossed up, but you would actually, you were thinking about pizza. And so you accidentally went to a pizza place. And then later on we got home and we were like,

well, we could have messed with him by ordering a burger then, but doing that flip when you're in the field, your heart is pounding. It's hard. Yeah, hindsight's 20-20. I'm sure even the drive-through guy felt like he could have just said, yeah, it is a Burger King, you know. But honestly, it's just one of those split-second decisions. Yes. And when you make one, you kind of got to stick to your guns. Yeah.

No, I think he did the right thing. People always ask, because it did get leaked, and they always ask me why I ate 25 pizzas, and it just seemed to me, like on the spot, like way too many. Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, I see that now.

That's pretty wild. And then the no cheese, is that like a... Right. Was that just to make it easier for them since they were making so many? Yeah, because it's run out or something. That was just kind of like, I was, this sounds arrogant, but I was kind of like, what would Jim Carrey add to the 25 right then? And, you know, Namaste, that came to me. Yeah, as far as pranksters are concerned.

Famous, famous prankster, yeah. He got his start, he was the Jerky Boys. Sure. Well, I guess speaking of Jim Carrey, you do have that great sketch where Ace Ventura is in a Yankee candle shop just smelling all the candles. Yeah. I mean, did we want to hear a piece of that?

Because to me, it was so funny. Yeah, I would definitely listen to some of that. I do remember that I played the candle shop owner, and I can't remember who played Ace. Right. But I call that, so. Ah, yes. Yes, I'm remembering now. It's one of the few sketches that I was in and I played your buddy, you know, the Candleshop junior trainee.

I remember one guy does the sound, just the sound effect of the door opening. That's kind of like a little ding dong. That's right. I guess maybe we kind of just implied that Ace was there. Yeah, okay. Or there's also or remembering it, I never heard Ace speak. Wait, actually, as I, well, no, wait, no. As I recall,

I think you got your engineer during the record to play Ace Ventura? That's true. Is that right? That's right. Yeah, there was a soundbite that was played and then we were all reacting to that as if he was talking. Oh, okay. Great.

Yeah, so let's just play the clip. Yeah. Ding dong. So many candles to organize. I left the place a mess last night. Oh, yeah, that's no problem, boss. Thank you. The blue candles are all falling over. Oh, hang, that's no problem, boss. Thank you. The blue candles are all falling over.

Oh, hang on, boss. I'll help you pick them up. That guy that just came in has quite a haircut. Ace Ventura wanders over to the staff member and sniffs his butt as he's bending over to pick up the candle. Oh, can I help you? Ace Ventura responds. Hi. Ace Ventura. Hi.

Hello, Ace. That's quite a name. I'm sorry, but there's no parrots allowed in the candle store. Oh, sorry. All right, he's gone. And the crazy thing about that, that's not Jim Carrey, actually. That was just a friend of mine. Yeah.

Whoa. Wow. I thought, like, I can't believe he did this sketch album and that's so cool that you got Jim. No, no. Well, initially we had talked about having it be actual soundbites from the movie.

And then we found out that my friend just sounds exactly like Ace Ventura. Well, that's kismet. Does he do other characters? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What else does he do other characters? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What else does he do? He does Raging Bull. He does a pretty dead-on Bob Dole.

Oh, wow. Yeah, hence Bob Dole and the Candle Shop. Also didn't make the album, but a big hit. Is he the one who did Janet Jackson in that one sketch? Yes. Yeah, just Janet talking. He does it really accurate. It's her right after the wardrobe malfunction.

And the whole sketch is just Janet talking? There are no other voices? Just Janet. It's just her. She's alone in her dressing room and she's kind of like, uh-oh, that didn't go well, you know. Yeah, trying to talk herself into finding a good angle

on it, but being like, I think just at the end of the day this is going to be a problem. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I would love to hear that one. That sounds great. 15-20 minutes. Let's play the long sketch. Ryan, can you play that one, please? Yeah.

Uh-oh, that didn't go well. It ends there, sorry. That was the end of it. Yeah, that's... Wait, so... I'm curious about the decision to have Janet Jackson in the clip say that the clip is over.

Say that it's ending, yeah. And apologize. That was all in the script. And in looking back, we probably could have taken another pass at it. For one thing, I feel like we should have had her talk more about the outfit. That was definitely the big. There was a lot there. Yeah, that seemed to be the richest vein for me in terms of

just what the action was right uh right and then but what i found when i did a first pass is people after the second line just start yelling is that it is that it is it over is it going more and so it's sometimes helpful in a sketch to say have the character say and that is the end of it you know yeah right yeah I see that. Can you settle a bet between me and Hayes? Uh-huh. When you asked Jim Carrey to not have his parrot in the shop and then he goes, it's gone.

Did he eat it? Yeah. I don't know who I'm helping with this, but yes, in our mind, the character ate the parrot and like tooted out one feather. That's all silent. Yeah. That's all silent. Yeah. That's all silent. Yeah.

Okay. Because what you're expecting, I guess, is to hear that, to hear like loud crunching and gulping sounds and then the toot sound and things. Right. But no, I'm not saying that's bad. I'm just saying like that is what you are. That's expected. Well, a lot of that sketch is defying expectations.

Yes. Because I expected him to say, all righty then. Yeah. Yeah. I expected him to say, let me smell you something. Right's expected. Well, a lot of that sketch is defying expectations because I expected him to say, alrighty then. I expected him to say, let me smell you something. I expected him to talk through his rear end. You're probably going to want a crunching and then maybe a

very muffled Polly want a cracker like the parrot's talking in his stomach. That's probably actually where that sketch should have been going. Now, I notice, just looking at some of your other sketches, you have this character, Tollbooth Billy. Oh, yeah. Who, like, he works in Massachusetts.

Yeah, yeah. And, you know, he's, like, taking tolls for things. It sounds a lot like Tollbooth Willie. I don't see that at all. I don't see that at all. To me, it reminded me of Tollbooth Willie. Night and day. I truly never thought of that.

Oh, that's so interesting. Tollbooth Willie works in Worcester, and Tollbooth Billy works in Billerica. It's like Jeff, right in Billerica. It's like, yeah, right. Billerica, yeah. And Tollbooth Billy to me is sort of a foul-mouthed, you know, asshole. Right, right. Yeah.

And Tollbooth Willie, I don't remember what his thing was. Yeah. I mean, I just remember like he would say it was like $1.95 I think was the toll in that one. And Tollbooth Billy's toll is free, which I sort of wonder. So that feels like a really big difference. Yeah, I played it for thousands of people, and no one ever brought up the other one. No one mentioned that.

No. Did you play it for Adam? It was $1.25. Oh, that makes more sense. Yeah. Just, I mean, not to get bogged down in it, but. Yeah, to find $1.95 at a toll. I thought maybe that was the joke.

$1.25, please. You know, that's sort of the. Yes, thank you, come again. Yes. Did you play it for Adam at SNL? Yeah, you did. Yeah, yeah. I played it for him at his house, and I was like, does this ring any done bells, you know?

And he was like does this ring any done bells you know and he was like no um and then uh I said think as hard as you can and um I do this with everything yeah and uh he did and he was quiet for a long time sipping lemonade and then he was like no uh nothing that this is new uh-huh this is fresh homemade lemonade yeah I think so when he said this is new, this is fresh. Homemade lemonade? Yeah. I think so. When he said, this is new, this is fresh, was he talking about the lemonade or he was talking about the sketch? Oh, maybe. Was he listening to the sketch at that time?

Yeah, but he was also sipping the lemonade. And then I went underwater, and I don't know if he said and corrected, you know, like the sketch, though, reminds me a lot of my character. Yeah. Because I'm like David Blaine. I can hold my breath really long underwater.

So I was under a long time, and he went to the bathroom by the time I came back up. Oh, OK. So I don't know the context. I was underwater in a place that wasn't a bathroom. I'm sorry. The fact that you said you're like David Blaine reminded me of probably my favorite sketch, which was Street Magic Audio. Oh, yeah.

Which just killed me. And if we could just jump in and play a little bit of that. And by the way, it's the only track where we included the word audio in the title of the track because they all are. But anyway, yes. And the dot MP3 is of the track, because they all are. But anyway, yes. And the dot MP3 is in the track name as well. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. I want you to think of a name.

Okay, Bob. Okay, is that what's written on my arm? Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Wow. Whoa. Whoa. Look inside this thing. Oh, my God. It's a huge other thing.

Here, hold this for a second. Okay. It's normal. Is it gone? Whoa! Snap! Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Look up there. Whoa! Wow! All right, snap. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Look up there. Whoa. All right, peace. Now, I noticed when you show in the liner notes who was in that sketch, it's two black guys who are listening to it, but they sound very white the way they're doing their responses and stuff. They were doing characters, yeah. I think I was like, just be yourselves.

And, and, but they were, they have these like, uh, kind of nasally white guys that they do that were, they did very. And they said like, oh shit, no snap and stuff like that, which was like kind of sort of black sounding things, but right. But they said them in the weirdest, whitest way ever. Yeah. Yeah. No, I, when I listen back and I hear the one guy doing, oh, snap,

I'm like, that's how, like, dorky white people say it. I love it. Yeah, initially hearing it before I read the liner notes, I thought it was borderline offensive that white guys were just sort of doing these racially loaded. Yeah, well, people always. When you read the lyrics. Yeah, but then I was like, well, I got to see all the lyrics. Yeah. And then I was like, oh, I got to see all the lyrics.

And then I was like, oh, cool, it was Black Guys just sort of turning it on its head. Yeah, people are always like, oh, that is a sketch about magic and wonderment, and it's a sketch about race, and it's time we talk about it. But we did cut it from the album. What was it like working with Chewy on that? With Chiwetel? EGFR? Uh-huh. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Yes. An honor. Scheduling... Mr. Echo. Scheduling was not fun. But yeah, the day itself, pretty magical. Yeah. But I interrupted you.

You were talking about being underwater in a bathroom? No, he wasn't in a bathroom. Oh, whoa. Because Adam Sandler had to go to the bathroom. There's two different types of underwater that we all learn. Oh, thank God we're talking about this. It's like one of those grade school things that you're like, you don't retain into adulthood. But there's underwater in a bathroom and underwater not in a bathroom.

And, you know, underwater not in a bathroom can be like swimming pools and lakes and all those kinds of things. This is what that was. And then underwater in a bathroom is your showers, your tubs, you're washing your face. I see. And then now you can picture that chart that we all had to. You do forget that stuff, though, because it's like, when am I ever going to use this?

I know. Exactly. But then it always comes up and then you're just like, doi. Oh, right. I learned this in grade school. I think it's about training your brain to work in that way so that you're like, am I in the bathroom or am I not in the bathroom? But you're doing that so fast nowadays that you don't even know you're doing it. It's on our phones, too.

Yeah, well. Yeah, I wonder nowadays if kids do. Well, and these screens, you know, that we bury our heads in, Michael, are supposedly connecting us, and I feel like they're actually putting a barrier up between us, and nobody's saying that. I love that you said that. It's just fucking insane. There's this one sketch that fucking made

me lose my shit, crack up, laugh, and it reminded me of the old Monty Python days. And I just was like, ooh, we don't see this humor anymore, but it was called Man Puts on Lipstick. Oh. And I wonder if we could listen to a couple minutes of that. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do-do-do-do-do. Hmm. Lipstick. Honey? You around? She's not. Well, I think I'm going to put it on.

Seems weird. Okay. Putting it on, putting it on, and it's on. Now, did you really? Get against the fucking wall! Get against the fucking wall! Whoa, whoa, no, no, no, no. I'm going to blow your fucking head off. Holy shit. Wait a second.

Were you just putting on lipstick? Oh, yeah. That's so funny. Hey, is your wife around? Could I try that? No, yeah. Give it a go. Now, why did you have someone interrupt that sketch?

That actually just happened on that day, and we didn't have the editing equipment to remove it. But yeah, so the guy's a diamond thief. Oh, that's what he is. Okay, because he definitely sounds like some kind of police guy when he's first coming in. No, the police. 100% he's a criminal oh okay i'm saying

the original guy is a diamond thief and the police have been you know watching him for months and this is the day they barge in and then they then they see the list oh you're talking about the which guy the first guy i thought was a policeman i thought was maybe a policeman yeah oh oh you thought he would oh yeah no the the guy who comes in and says, put your hands against the wall, he is a policeman. Okay. And then, but you're kind of like, what if the one day they planned, you know, these SWAT guys planned forever. Sure. And the day they planned, you get in there, the guy's got a lipstick on.

They know he's married and everything, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they've been tracking him. You can picture maybe that he would want to try it too oh yeah now i think what it sounds like permission the guy in the clip was gonna ask is did you really put on lipstick for that yeah and i found myself wondering that as well yeah a guy barged into the studio and asked in the middle. But he can see what's happening, so it's harder for me to access what he's going through. I was turned slightly from him.

But yeah, we had to. We did it once without, and it sounds fake. And then a thing you notice when you're actually putting on lipstick is you almost can't do it without doing the little do-do-do-do-do. Yeah. And that's why you see women doing that on the train and stuff. And you're like, why are they always singing that song? It just starts to happen. It's the funniest thing.

But then I looked over at my friend, who is an actual cop, and we're wearing lipstick in this recording booth. And we're like, wait, we are. This is my job. You know what I mean? The inmates have taken over the asylum. So are you just so fucking baked when you come up with this shit? Wow. This is my job, you know what I mean? The inmates have taken over the asylum, yeah. So are you just so fucking baked when you come up with this shit? It's so crazy funny.

You must be just chiefing kind buds. Am I right, Michael? Absolutely, man. Yeah, yeah. We go on some pretty crazy trips when we're writing. It reminds me of the Cheech and Chong days in their albums, and I go like, these guys must have smoked a whole lid of the green grass. Yeah, yeah. Oh, totally.

I mean, one of the tracks we wrote on acid, one on molly, and one on marijuana. Yeah, and now your friend's all monster chiba hawks, and they just got to have more of the fucking kind buds and the chifit. Yeah, a couple of them are Chiba Hawks for sure. Yeah, you're sparking doobs. That's so funny. Because the cover of the album, I guess, I sort of get what this is now, is like you smoking the Washington Monument like a huge fatty.

Yeah, exactly. It's like you smoking the Washington Monument like a huge fatty. Yeah, exactly. And then there's the whole thing of like, do we need to, should it be rolled in paper or is it just like whatever? And we ended up just going with it, and it's Photoshopped, of course, but with it like it is. And then smoking it. Oh, you weren't able to smoke the actual Washington Monument? No, no, no. In real size, it's like huge.

It's like a building. Yeah, okay. In real size, it's like huge. It's like a building. Okay, that makes sense. Because I thought you might be holding it up to your mouth or something. That would make more sense. But you're kind of standing next to it with a lighter. Right. Well, it makes sense to me because I saw the Washington Monument earlier this week and I thought, didn't Michael

smoke that already? No, no, no. It was a photo of it. A relief. And that's where the title Abraham Stinkin' comes from. It's like stinky weed. Stinky weed. Ah, stinky skunk weed. And there was that one sketch that just killed me. I couldn't believe it didn't make the album where it was just guys saying that they were high,

and that essentially was comedy. Yeah, yeah. This is a three-second clip of that. Oh! Sorry, I'm so baked. I'm baked as well. And the thing was we recorded for like hours, hours, and we were not feeling it at all for the whole time.

That may have been not marijuana or something. Bunk weed. It might have been not marijuana or something. Bunk weed. It might have been. And so we just had to keep saying that and keep saying that, and then editing it was a nightmare. But we found those moments like you heard. Somebody sold you the Bama. Might have, yeah.

That sucks. You got hit with the schwag shit. I think so, yeah. I think that might have been. Fuck all stems and seeds and shit. Exactly think so, yeah. I think that might have... Fuck all stems and seeds and shit. Exactly. Exactly, yeah. Damn.

I think we have time for a couple more follow-ups on that. Okay. Oh, okay. Do you want to do those, Sean? Just bang them out? Well, I would love to, but I see how to do it right.

Chomp it at the bit. Do we have time for him to bang out a couple more follow-ups on the weed discussion? What are we at now? We're at 46 minutes now. Okay. Do we want to cut something else earlier?

Most of it, I'd say. And you can just bang out two more follow-ups? If there was a different wording or phrase that means weed that might strike a chord. And not just weed, but like being sold. Well, yeah. I mean, there's plenty of words that mean weed. And being hit with a Bama and like all stems and seeds.

And the swag shit. The swag shit. Just like two more of those. If we have time. If we have time. Ryan, I see you're busy at the keyboard. Can we make time for this? We're at 47 now.

Okay, now we're at 47. So if maybe we... Maybe one even... Well, what do we have time for? If we have time for two, great. If it's one more... There was that thing later when Sean said Cheech and Chong

and it seemed like you thought that Chong was an Asian guy. Right. Do we want to cut that part out? We definitely... Because you talked about it for a while and you did a voice that I'm not sure you. Do we want to cut that part out? We definitely... Because you talked about it for a while, and you did a voice that I'm not sure you're going to want to have recorded to be like, oh, I thought Chong was one of these,

and then you went into a sort of monologue. That monologue. Was that like eight minutes we could lose on that, maybe? That might give us time for another... And I don't know if you were... Because I feel bad for stopping you from doing that, but I thought, you know, I just wasn't sure.

Yeah, I didn't, I still feel like it's probably fine. I mean, I don't know. It's kind of Mickey Rooney-inspired. He is, you know, he's fully white. Oh, okay. Mickey Rooney is now? Yeah, yeah, but in

When did that happen? Breakfast at Tiffany's, he gives a performance, an I Am Sam-esque performance. Oh, wow. I was kind of... I Am Sam is Asian? No, just like losing yourself in a character that, you know, Oscar-ish. I think you're thinking of Siam Sam.

Yes, I was thinking of Siam Sam. And I did sort of come up with almost one more. Uh-huh. Or I mean, I know it's close. It's already, but okay. But I don't, it's not good. Okay. But it's a real one.

I want it to be good like the other ones. The other ones are great, huh? Yeah. Okay, then I'll get back in the tank. It's just two more, and even six, I think, would be a good number to have. And I guess you can talk about, Sean's thinking of that, you can talk about where to get your album, you know, Sam Goody and FHM.

Yes, yes, yes. Music Land. Coconuts. iTunes. Is that the sound of someone buying your album? Yeah, each time there's a little ding, and it shows a picture of their face as they clicked on it, and it's usually kind of like they're thinking, they're not sure.

Like, what, is it stand-up? It's that face usually. Yeah, furrowed brows. So what if I said somebody must have broke it off the brick? You know when it's brick weed, when it's just like pressed into the, and it's just like. That's good. Yeah.

That's great. What if I said y'all got hay fever from that ditch weed? That's great. These are, yeah, this is what. Exactly's great. What if I said y'all got hay fever from that ditch weed? That's great. These are, yeah. This is what. Exactly, yeah. I think, yeah. I don't think we have time for those, though.

We don't have time? I think you took a little too long. Yes, I think you took a little too long. Okay. Well, what was your phone doing? I got a text. From who? Is it somebody I know?

It's from my friend Ben Piner, who's on the album, and it's... Oh, people are going to be excited for that. Yeah. Yeah. Name drop. Oops. Oops here. Let me get that for you.

Oh, I hurt my back. The literal picking up of the drop name. Yes, because it's heavy or something. Right. Piner. Well, we do want to give out the pro version. We have to. And I'll try to think of someone from memory who bought it.

Rose Cream, is that someone who's gotten it before? I don't give a shit. Okay. bought it. Rose Cream? Is that someone who's gotten it before? I don't give a shit. Okay. User Rose Cream on the forums bought the pro version of our podcast. A lot of great stuff in the

package this week that should be getting to you really soon. And you also get an exclusive track from your album, which is another character that your engineer performs really well. And just which one would you like to give to Rose Cream? What would be fun?

Maybe the Nosy Principle. That might be fun. Okay, great. And so this is off Mike O'Brien's new sketch comedy album, and it's the Nosy Principle. And that was also very nice of you to include a reference to user Rose Cream in the track

so let's play that right now what are you kids doing? is that you Rose Cream? bye bye Hollywood Handbook is brought to you by Bye. Bye. Hollywood Handbook is brought to you by Wolf Cool Productions,

a subsidiary of Calvin and Hobbes. Ow, baby. That was a HeadGum Podcast.