Hollywood Handbook - Mina Kimes, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: June 17, 2019

The Boys and MINA KIMES host an episode of the Big Little Lies After Show.This episode is sponsored by Harry's ( www.harrys.com/handbook ) and Honey( www.joinhoney.com/theboys ).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. my dead ball so you're standing or you're crouching I am standing you said standing there but then I said with Eric and then you said crouch you're telling me to crouch you mean like Eric Crouch the player yeah the player this was before he was playing this is a dead ball

so we're like little kids he is like a really little kid but yeah the player who I guess he won the Heisman This is a dead ball. So we're like little kid. He is like a really little kid. But yeah, the player who, I guess he won the Heisman in like, I want to say 2002. It's been a minute. He hasn't won another Heisman since. And he is kind of holding my elbow so I don't trip. And I am being introduced.

Why are you going to trip? You said you were just standing there. Because I'm about to walk. I'm about to do the walk. Okay. And I have my gloves on. Uh-huh. And I'm all done up. Is it cold? To be debuted. No, I don't think so.

Okay. Sorry, do you see my problem is that your story doesn't make any sense. No, I don't see it at all. I barely told any of it. It's been like 10, 15 different things that don't track. No, they all. And when you do this. It's only three things.

It's me. I am at my dead ball. Okay, you're standing. So now we see the jealousy. It's Eric. And now we see someone who. It's the Heisman Trophy. I'm at my Deb ball. Okay, you're standing, you're crouching. And so now we see the jealousy. It's Eric. And now we see someone who. It's the Heisman Trophy. I'm jealous.

Hayes, we have a contract. Who didn't go to Cotillion class. Who didn't go to Cotillion class and thought he should be allowed to have a Deb anyway. A Deb. We are engaged with our audience and there is a level of trust. It's unbelievable that Chelsea, this much later, this many years later, to still be upset. I don't care.

I would, at the time, did I care? Of course. Of course. Of course I wanted to go to cotillion class. At the time, yeah. I'm so far past that now. I do a show now, actually. And when I do the time, yeah. I'm so far past that now. I do a show now, actually. And when I do the show, I try to make sure my audience trusts me by being honest.

So I don't say I was standing when I was crouching. I don't say I was walking when I was standing. He wasn't allowed to go because he always had food around his mouth. Because. Yes, because. And we don't make fun of this kind of thing anymore. I loved food. And that's actually, and now in 2019, we don't make fun of people for that.

It was not all classic. I just want to clarify. No, the foods themselves were not classic foods you would imagine being on someone's face. I could see having hummus on your face or something, but the stuff I had was rather unusual. I'm presented. I do my bow. Yeah. I go all the way down.

I basically drop it to the floor and sort of move around a little bit while I'm down there. You get low. And I come up. Are you doing the worm at this point? I'm doing sort of a worm on my back. Like a classy back makes sense yeah yes uh and society is kind of like okay you're a little old to be here to be doing this but you can like do the competition stuff anywhere i guess it's a

competition yeah there's like a competitive element where like to Debs as you so casually yes for the yes when you made your debut yes

you have to eat a piece of hay really fast you have to knock over this goat that has very short legs

after you take its hay its center of gravity is so low because it's got these short legs. And goats have magnificent balance to begin with. And you have to actually knock it over, and it has to stay over on its side or on its back for like a three count. So you have to kind of sweep your leg around it and use your left arm to shove the goat over your leg

and then kind of use your other leg to like pin it down with your foot right and in a dress and your meat yeah in a dress and gloves and without it getting to the food on your face yes of course it's very attracted to you never covered this even eric Eric Crouch was there, you weren't covering this? I've heard about cow tipping Goat tipping is new to me Setting aside the competitive side You've seen Tommy Boy? The Dev Circuit Do you see Tommy Boy?

You see Tommy Boy? Well, who's Tommy Boy? Tommy Boy is sort of an interesting character Where he is crazy, I guess He's insane You never saw this guess. He's insane. You never saw this guy? He's totally out of it. I have seen Tom. Now she remembers.

Oh, the crazy man. Yes, exactly. He's nuts. Welcome to Hollywood Handbook. This is the Insider's Guide to Kicking Butt and Dropping Names in the Red Carpet Line back always of this industry we call showbiz. Mina is here. Mina is here and I hope I don't get in trouble right off the bat for saying this to me you seem nice

that was close i thought there was a second before she laughed that you might get in trouble i thought she was gonna be pissed yeah but you know i grew up it was a burden growing up so I've always had to be extra nice to overcome the baggage the preconceptions right

that come with being named Mina on camera personality around she's going around the horn they put her into the camera doing laps around the horn

I'm in one corner of the horn who goes around Tony Reale he's circling you you are go around the horn. I'm in one corner of the horn. Who goes around? Tony Reale. He's circling you. You are part of the horn. You're one horn section. I guess the horn is like a phone when you think about it, right?

People call a phone a horn. But there's no phone in the show. Answer the horn. Answer the horn. There's no phone. The horn's ringing. We're all on our horns these days. There is no phone on the show. Answer the horn. Answer the horn. Yeah. There's no phone. Your horn's ringing. We're all on our horns these days.

I've seen the show. There is no phone on the show anywhere. That's a great point. Nowhere is there a phone. But probably at commercial break everyone's on their phones, huh? That's true.

Isn't it? Right. Then I'm on the horn. This is what I always find, yeah, is that when everyone gets any downtime these days, just picking up the horn.

Right, looking at that black mirror. Straight into it. I don't, okay, so I guess since this is like a Hollywood podcast and it's all about the secrets and inside tips. Go, go, go. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. I didn't want to say this so early, but Around the Horn is not live, so there are no commercial

breaks. Oh, no. So when are you looking at your phone? Yeah. In between blocks. Okay, so that's like a commercial break well not i mean i guess so yeah it's longer oh it's even longer even longer even more on your phone yeah sometimes i do look at my phone during our live shows see how your tweets are doing yeah i look at my phone and you know Jerry52

in Nebraska is telling me my nose looks like a bird from Sesame Street and then I'm back on air with that great energy surging through the confidence boost that I need And what's Woody doing? He's getting cleaned up?

He does get a lot of makeup a lot of touch ups That's what we call him in the biz What's Woody doing? He's getting cleaned up? He does get a lot of makeup, a lot of touch-ups. Oh, okay. That's what we call him in the biz. Oh, wow. The biz. A little shiny. Easy to get shiny out there.

We don't want to talk about this. Come on. Get real. Do you have a podcast? We don't want to talk about this either. Your podcast, say the name of it. Just get it out of the way. The Mina Kime Show featuring Lenny.

Lenny's a dog? Lenny's a dog. I wonder where she got that idea. get it out of the way. The Mina Kime Show featuring Lenny. Lenny's a dog? Lenny's a dog. I wonder where she got that idea. Oh, dog on the podcast. Who had that idea? When did your dog make his podcast debut? Kevin? Probably like a year and a half ago.

You don't even say hello anymore? Hey guys, Chef Kevin. Chef Kevin where? Chef Kevin in the booth. Chef Kevin here. You said this the booth. Chef Kevin here. You said this every episode. I said here. On the apron.

Oh, you did not. Mina? I... Did he say here? Oh, no. I don't want to get up against Kevin. Jordan, you say too. What happened?

I don't want to be a part of this. Me neither. Thank you, Jordan. So join the club. That's Jordan's catchphrase. It sounds like we launched our dogs simultaneously. About a year and a half ago?

About a year and a half ago. Yeah. But does your dog even contribute to this podcast? You kidding me? He released a hit single on the show. He did.

And he chews a bone loudly in the background as you might be able to hear. I have been distracted by that. He has merch. He's crunching on the bone. He has his own merch. He has a t-shirt.

There's a t-shirt with him. What was the hit single called? It's a song he wrote called The Squat Butt Bop Around. Don't offer me another t-shirt. Thank you. I have the next one. No. Does he have a voice that he talks in?

Absolutely, yeah. Does he contribute? Bring him on. Bring him on the show. Bosh! This is Lenny. Yeah. I'm Mina's dog. What about it? Bring him on the show. Bosh! This is Lenny. I'm meanest, dog. What about it?

Wow, and already he's established a position of dominance. I get to talk on my podcast, weigh in, interact with the guests, give my football takes. What do you get to do? Yeah, basically whatever I want. Damn.

So Bosh is a little bit cooler than Lenny, it sounds like. Lenny was in a commercial. Was Vosh in a commercial? I get emails from SAG. Do you get emails from SAG pestering you? I'm FICOR. FIDOCOR. Okay, so you are, yeah, Bodge is not really a union guy.

Charlton Heston began FICOR a long time ago for people who wanted to be in the NRA but not in SAG. A little bit of Hollywood history. Are dogs in SAG or maybe it's like wag? Wag, wag. And that was only one half second after the two of you. I don't feel good about anything that just happened. Does Bosh know anything about football?

Yeah, it's barbaric. What? It's a freaking pigskin. America's sport. Yeah, America's freaking concussion factory. So, Bosh is woke. Bosh is, he's getting there. I mean, unfortunately, in his single, he released the squat butt bop around. Yeah. A lot of the lyrics pertain to how sexy the teens at the party were He was watching dance It's interesting, right? We're subverting expectations

Because Lenny is small and has a high-pitched voice But he knows a lot about football He grinds tape Seeing people get hurt Just grinds tape non-stop Meanwhile, Bosh seems like a bit of a yokel But he's got a rose emoji next to his Twitter, I'm guessing Hates football

Does he love basketball? Bosh is in DSA, yes He's got a rose emoji next to his Twitter, I'm guessing. Hates football. Does he love basketball? Bosh is in DSA, yes. Bosh is tweeting, this league, best league. Best league. I'm so lucky to watch the NBA. Everybody gets to friggin' say what they want. Yes. Yeah, he's...

He's not getting a follow from Lenny. Oh, that hurts. I don't know. He didn't have a Twitter account. Well, somebody did make one. Somebody did make one. Somebody did this for Lenny, and I hate it. It's fake.

Do you? I'm so anxious that they're going to tweet problematic stuff from the voice of the dog. On behalf of my dog. Twitter won't do anything about it. Because they love... It's just they're getting hits from dog. Twitter won't do anything about it. Because they love it. It's just they're getting hits from that. They've been pretty nice so far. It's at Good Boy Bosh.

And they haven't really done anything wrong. But I think they're softening me up for the big blow. Right. Well, they're a massive. They have followers? A couple. How many followers do we think they have? A couple hundred maybe

yeah maybe couple hundred it might be triple digits at this point and engineer Jordan's got her phone out probably to do something else Lenny's it's called

complicit Lenny oh no no no no it's a weird ESPN joke where Lenny I was on the show I do

highly questionable where this old man who's on the show constantly tries to trick me into shaking his hand and he used Lenny, I was on the show I do, Highly Questionable, where this old man who's on the show constantly tries to trick me into shaking his hand, and he used Lenny as a tool to trick me, to dupe me into doing it. He was like, look at this photo of Lenny, and I reached out for it. And so the old man, Poppy, screamed, Lenny was complicit.

So now everybody, Lenny was complicit. And in a way, he's complicit by supporting the NFL and kind of the bachelorsation of our culture. It's a fun sport. For a lot of people, it's a way to help their community. I can't tell if you're doing your voice right now, so I don't know how to respond to that.

Yeah, no, I don't know either. We don't want to talk about this. We spend so much time together. Me and a kind of podcast. It's a football podcast if you like football. Mm-hmm. Big Lil' Y's after show.

Tom Brady the goat. The goat? Oh, no, actually, that's not true. Bosh is a big fan of Blake Bortles. He likes to say that Blake Bortles is the goat

to wind me up. He watches The Good Place. He's in LA now. He's really sad that it's him. Bosh is a big fan of Blake Bortles. He likes to say that Blake Bortles is the GOAT. Because he likes to wind me up. He watches The Good Place. He's in LA now. He's really sad that it's ended. Bortles is the GOAT. Bortles is in LA. The GOAT. Bortles.

Big Lil' Lies after show. Right? Yes. It's real. We are doing this. Sunday. Well, this is probably not coming out before then, but yes. It's called Big Lil' Live. Yes. Well, this is probably not coming out before then, but yes. It's called Big Lil Live.

Yes. Bill Simmons thought of that. That's why he makes the big bugs. Okay. One of the reasons. And I do an impression of him on my other show sometimes. Can I hear it? No, it's for subscribers only. When is this coming out, Kevin? July 16th.

We can't move anything around? No. She's going to have been doing this for... It's going to be over by then. Yeah, it will be over by then. Come on, Kevin. Kevin, please. Kevin, please, Kevin.

I'll see what I can do. I'll ask a few favors. Kevin, please, Kevin. I'll see what I can do. I'll ask a few favors. Kevin, please. Wow, you guys stack them up months in advance. Not usually. No, this is kind of the first time we've been in this situation. Yeah. What happened?

Kevin just started cracking the whip in a major way. It's like every day I just get a text that's like, don't forget. Don't forget. You got a podcast today. And I sort of come in all weary eyed. I did forget. And I may never have been told in the first place. Yeah.

I just come in. A guest is here. I come in. There's some freak in here. I'm supposed to talk to them about whatever. They don't know me. They hate me. They hate me. Kevin. I'm not a talk to them about whatever. Yeah, they don't know me. They hate me. They hate me.

Kevin. I'm not a huge fan of them. You're going to take this? I'm fine with it. The show's actually doing the best it's done in a couple years. So this is, I'll take this feedback. In a couple years. Can't even say best it's ever done.

Since I've started. It's pathetic. Well, I hope you can find a way to let this come out a little bit earlier okay talk about some of the mysteries please and and and let's do a countdown of some of the biggest little lies they've been telling the biggest mystery of all of how they can be so big and so little at the same time time. At the same time. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the first season, the mystery was,

did you guys watch the show? Uh-huh. Jordan is enthusiastically nodding. Martha. Uh-huh. Bruce-alene. Jeremiah Geraldine. Jeremiah Geraldine.

Cliffs running on bridges. Yes. A lot of jogging. The beach. You know what's weird about the show? No. I mentioned this on our Twitter show. We've established this dog connection. I'm sorry.

Yeah. People often go to the dog on the show. I mean, I want to box you. No, the weird thing is it's a show about rich white people, and there's no dogs. No dogs. So unrealistic. Doesn't really add up, does it? No animals?

It's this coastal town. There's a bird, probably. I hadn't seen any animals on the show. What's it like, Montecito? I'm sure, I remember, actually, there is a bird. Montezuma, actually. Tell me when the bird was. It was on the beach. Yeah. The bird is

trying to catch up. What episode? Four. I think you made that up. Bosh is tired. Bosh is out of breath. And you gotta wonder. I would understand why you have like an investment in like pretending that you have seen the show. Now I have

my big little lies, big lies countdown. Why? Okay. Lie number one. Reese Witherspoon's like what? Like supposed to be like 40 with that skin? Are you kidding me? She's lying to me.

She looks amazing. Lie number two. Nicole Kidman. What's she supposed to be on the show? In her 40s or something? You kidding me? She looks incredible. Adam Scott.

He didn't grow that beard. That's number three. And how old is he supposed to be on that show? What, he's in his 40s? With that skin? You kidding me? He looks incredible. Who else is on the show?

Laura Dern. Laura Dern. She looks great. So why are they lying to me, telling me that all these people are middle to late age when, let's face it, they look amazing? I never thought of it that way, but you're right. That is the biggest lie. And you can't say that. Of the show. I can thought of it that way, but you're right. That is the biggest lie of the show. I can't say it?

And none of the points we're making here, and I can see in your eyes, like, oh, I can do that on my own. Oh, good, I steal this. I gobble this up. Oh, it's time to fail. I can't say it because I'd be stealing your intellectual property is what I'm saying.

Yes, that's right. Yes, this is our stuff, all this stuff. Now I'm worried. What if you just say something? What if we stumble into something you were already planning on? Yeah. Well, we're going to try to cover as much ground as possible so that we can make some money off of this. Are you going to sue me?

Interesting. Speaking of getting sued, that you would be doing, this is a Ringer show. And Ringer and ESPN. Kevin, don't take a picture during a podcast. What are you doing? He just kind of snuck up behind us. We're doing a podcast right now. It was an unusual angle to be even trying to get. Right. We have to admit.

I don't like being shot from this edge. No one does. At least ask, Kevin. Literally the only thing I said to you guys before agreeing to do this podcast, don't shoot me from the sort of side back. Yes. Can I take a photo of you?

It's not on. Yeah, from the front. That was just a haze. You weren't in that. Don't worry. That side back weird angle. It's funny because whatever angle you tell Kevin not to photograph, you're going to look over and tell Kevin not to photograph. He'll do it.

You're going to look over and there he is. Mr. Peripheral Vision. Just always kind of lurking. Trying to make us look good. Back there. And so it's a Ringer show. And Ringer and ESPN are sort of friend enemies. Much like Martha and Bruce Alene on the show.

Talk about this. Well, Martha and Bruce Aline are not real characters. And similarly to that dynamic. Begin with this. I would not. Maybe you haven't seen the first episode of the new season. They're friends with the bird. It has Meryl Streep, by the way.

Speaking of women where the lie is that you're supposed to believe they're one age. And please. Yeah, notice that Sean didn't mention her. Yes. She looks, well, and that's, I'm only going off season one. But now she's here. And hello. Are you kidding me?

Ricky and the Flash? And she's supposed to be this age? Please. This is Ricky from Ricky and the Flash. She looks incredible. Her most iconic role. Yeah, number one. Well, she kind of referenced it on the show.

Maybe someone has a guitar in their house and she'll be like, oh, those days are behind me. She has to. It's so distracting when you see her and someone doesn't play the guitar. Is the Flash a band in the show? The movie, rather?

Must be. Ricky and the Flash. Yeah. Flash makes sense. Jordan, is this a band in the show? The movie, rather? Must be. Ricky and the Flash. Yeah. Flash makes sense. Jordan, is this a band? Is it a band? Is it a band? Yeah.

Can you look it up? Or maybe you know. Jesus! Speaking of the Flash, this camera. It's following me around. Kevin, go away. Sit down or go away. I think it's also off-putting because you have a really big camera.

It's not like a phone. It's way too big. Dude, it's huge. It's way too big. And he enlarged it. What are we doing? Is he like a baseline NBA photographer? Like, what is the meaning of this?

Kevin actually went to a special store and got the camera enlarged. And he told us that he was doing this because he wanted an even bigger camera. Jordan was in a band. Yeah. Not The Flash. Was it The Flash? Or was it The Flash? No, I was in a punk band. The Flash is a punk band.

The Flash is punk as hell. The Flash is pure punk rock. They basically don't want the establishment to do anything. I was in The Flash. You were in The Flash. I could tell you you were in a punk band because you have

a lot of tattoos. That was one of the louder laughs. Yeah. Usually she... I've never gotten that from someone for tattoos. Right, everyone who has tattoos is in a punk band.

Have you seen one of the commercials that's on about progressive how having a home makes everyone act like their parents? Oh, yes. And then she goes, oh, you have a tattoo? How fun. Do you not work?

That's a good one. Yeah, that one's good. What other ones do you like? Yeah, which ones? Not yours. My own commercial. I was thinking the progressive commercials. The one. Not yours. Where the, my own commercial. I was thinking the progressive commercials. The one where the husband starts dressing like his dad and acting like a little man,

wearing like sweaters. When they're on vacation. Sort of the premise of all of them a little bit. Yeah. Well, the one where they're on vacation, he's reading the plaque is actually, that's a group of friends on a road trip. These are all progressive, huh? Yeah.

As I'm Flo, I'm sweating. More like Ice Flo, putting her out on one. The one where he's dressing like his dad, I think is more your thing of the Alan McLeod one where he falls asleep for a second at the end of it. Yes. Who's Alan McLeod? He's the guy in the commercial. The actor?

Yeah, he's the actor, yeah. You don't meet the people in the other commercials? Yeah, you don't go make friends with the commercials? Just reach over from your commercial and shake their hand. That's why I'm on this podcast,

to learn who's in commercials. Okay, well, the car one has Tim Martin and Josh Simpson. I didn't really meet them. You wanted to name them. Okay. And Natalie Palamedes

is one of Flo's little cronies now. You know how she's got this little crew of... The latest thing with Flo is that people think she's a maid. People seem to be thinking that Flo is a maid. Which, those commercials feel a little problematic. I agree. They're trying to get her to quit.

They're squeezing her out. They're trying to humiliate her to the point that she actually just throws her apron in the trash and says it's not worth it. Kevin, don't just look at your camera sulking. It's a bad camera. Could you define what makes them problematic, though? Well, okay, so the premise is that she's upset because people think she's a maid. Yeah.

There you go. Right. It's anti-maid. Yes, thank you. Yes, exactly. She should be saying thank you. Yeah. Or, you know.

You don't like that either? Well, she should say something like, you know, hey, wild maids are people too. And valuable contributors. We're already in the next commercial. Yeah, it's a time issue. I've never written a commercial like you guys probably have, so. Yeah, we do. Oh, yeah.

Hell, yeah. I'm always consulting with brands. Big Glow Eyes After Show. Yes. We're going to do one of, yeah. Hell, yeah. I'm always consulting with brands. Big Little Lies After Show. Yes. We're going to do one of these. Big Little Live. You have to watch it in the studio? No.

Well, I've gotten screeners. What the heck? Nice. Yes. Okay. Oh, I should explain what those are. And are they catching these people? Right, for Hollywood.

Because, again, the premise is people want to learn about Hollywood. Used to be. Scoob Troop. Scoob Troop. Get out of your screener. Used to be. Scoob Troop. Scoob Troop. Get out of your train. Reassemble. The Scoob Troop is so old now. One last ride for the Scoob Troop.

What's your... They got to go organize. They're all showing up in different towns. I told you I was out. That was five years ago. What's your Twitter show? You said you're thinking about doing one. It's Big Little Lies After Show.

Big Little Lies. It's called Big Little Lies Live. Yeah. And so, screener, as you watch it on DVD. Bigger Little Live. And you pretend. So now you're going to be watching. Have you already seen it?

I've seen the first episode, yeah. Okay, so I'm going to be watching now. And when I see the after show, are you going to be going like, wow! Like, pretending that you just watched it with everyone else? Yes, this is good. Are you trying to trick me when I already know what happened?

The show's called Big Little Lies. So you are supposed to be doing them as well? Yeah, your show actually omits that security part of it. You got rid of the be doing them as well? Yeah, your show actually omits that. You got rid of the lies part of it. Which seems like

you're promising the audience something that I hope you deliver up. It's not live. Always. Sometimes it'll be

live. The show isn't live? Some of them are. Are you going to take Twitter questions? It's live to me. I think some of

them will take Twitter questions. Will you submit some? Yeah, I'll tweet at you. Are we going to see Twitter questions? It's live to me. I think some of them will take Twitter questions. Will you submit some? Yeah, I'll tweet at you. Are we going to see this Avenue Q production that we were working on in season one? You saw it in the final episode of season one. Yeah, but I want to see all of it.

Oh, you want to see it. I want to see top to bottom every single number. What if the entire second season was just Avenue Q? Then, okay. Now they're delivering on the promise of the first season. Season two is Urinetown. Hamilton. Hamilton is not

pushing it enough. Spamalot they could maybe do. Spamalot is right on the edge. Cats. Urinetown is way too gross. Is Urinetown a real thing? Oh yeah Urinetown and Avenue Q

Were at each other's throats To be the grossest Tom Cavanaugh was in it The Oh I was Ed I was saying Brett Cavanaugh The Supreme Court Justice

Oh my god I'm sure he's been in Urinetown as well Aye What is the plot of Urinetown? Everybody's got a freaking piss, right? It's a town that's like about going pee or something. Oh, I thought you meant like Urinetown. No, no, no.

They make a lot of hay out of this. Are they constantly playing with those two ideas? Jordan, what's Urinetown? Jordan, activate Urinetown synopsis. No, and the refusal. She gets one refusal to Google every episode. One refusal every episode. So the show ends.

Oh, yeah. And people are like, I guess it's over. Yeah. Yeah. And people are like, I guess it's over. Yeah. Yeah. And then you're showing, like, while they're watching, you're not doing anything?

Sometimes I'll be watching the show live. Are you in the corner of the show, maybe? What the heck? Who's that? Eating your popcorn or spitting out your soda? There will be scenes where you'll see someone chasing a bird, and it's me. Oh, interesting. Oh, wow. So there's the bird.

Little Easter egg, yes. And that's why you didn't want us to know the bird was in there. Yeah. One of the lies revealed. Kevin, you watch the show? No. Is it similar to, like, Pretty Little Liar? No.

That's not what the show's called. No, come on. Although it is. I think that's a teen show, right? Yeah. Yeah, but so is this. Yeah. It's, God, your dog.

Yeah, he actually needs Kevin to take him somewhere or something. I was going to say, he's like panting. Kevin, you've got to do something with this dog. He really needs some attention right now. Bosh has this sort of sixth sense of seeing When Kevin is just being dead weight on the show And he's like I'll get him out of here Yeah he's touching you Hey man We gotta get this freaking anchor off from around your neck dude

Your dog voice is too close to your normal voice So when you transition it's kind of confusing No one talks to me like that no one listen what's you're in town about did you check yeah um it satirizes the legal system capitalism social irresponsibility corporate mismanagement Municipal politics Where's the P? Yeah, where's the P part? Where's the P, Kevin?

Doesn't say In Urinetown, where's the P? Okay Kevin So let's do like a dry run Yep Because we're doing one of these things And we'll do it before you

We'll do it right before you, yep things and we'll do it before you. We'll do it right before you. Yep. Okay. Because we'll do it during the show. And the show is ending and what's the end theme song? Well, I think they just

play the same. Well, they do it. No, no. They do a different song. Yeah, it's got to be something like that. The beginning song is Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, Lies are gonna catch up with you, girl. You told one too many lies this time.

And you're in town. Okay, I found it. A massive water shortage means that private toilets have been outlawed and the public now have to pay for the privilege to pee. I really thought you made this up. Well, I wish. I wouldn't be here now. It really makes

you think about a lot of stuff because it's like, if I had to pay money every time I had to pee, I'd be rich. Think about it. I'd be holding it in and just making so much dough. So. Oh, geez.

Sing the final theme song. I bet you thought you'd get away with it. Yeah. Didn't you, girl? You probably thought that we wouldn't get you in a lie. Girl. Okay. And three get you in a lie. Girl. Okay.

And three. Try to do like a woman. Two. Wait, what's the one? Well, I thought if you were going to do like a male folksy song, there's usually like a woman's voice that's like, big, little. No?

That could be nice. That could be nice. I just thought it would add a little dimensionality. No, it would dress a little Dimensionality Yeah, add some depth to the song Okay, do your part and I'll do mine Okay That one last lie was one too many, girl

Big, little Medium, little And now all the truth is coming from the lies, girl. Extra, extra, large. So, Pat, so now we have the song, so now it's time for the show. And Kevin, would you take my dog out of the room, please? Yes.

And sometimes you have to be so explicit. And his leash is over there if he needs to actually go outside, but maybe he just needs to be in the other studio because it's too overwhelming for him to see all this fun wow okay welcome to big little lies live what an episode i'm still going crazy it's nuts i'm screaming ah and so how did this what talk about haze can you believe what we saw on the show? Everyone was being so weird.

I didn't like how a lot of their behavior was nuts. The strange, freaky stuff they said and did made me think, okay, this show is wild. And I actually turned to you, and and hayes you can attest to this at one point in the middle of it i just said um what everyone was being mental and there was no sound to me why is there no sound to me the show this is a new thing at its strongest when it's To me, the show is at its strongest when it's painting a visual story that my mind can fill in. And I think they've embraced that this season by having no sound the whole time and a little just one caption in the corner that says mute. Our guest is Mina Kimes. What is this new thing in prestige television I guess where there's not allowed

to be any sound wait I'm a guest on your fictional show that's ripping off my show the material of which I cannot use it's happening it hasn't even happened yet and I'm being brought in as I'm going to sue you

go straight to Brett Kavanaugh who you already talk shit about I don't want to say anything. He's going to love that. He's going to side with us, I think. Because I won't be able to use it later for your challenge. Right. Well, you can't be on the show anyway because you're on ours. I just had a realization.

Did you say the challenge for your dead ball would be eating a piece of hay because your name is Hayes? No, that was actually a big issue. That was a disadvantage. Just a big little issue. Yes. Like hay jokes. The part of it was they're like, oh, he's going to be really good at this.

Jordan got it, even if you didn't. Because his name is Hayes. He's going to like really take down this piece of hay. Right. But it's this thing where I did put it down really, really fast. I sort of folded it up, but it sort of un, like sprung back out

in my mouth and sort of up my nasal cavity and out my nose. And so the goat, of course, sees this and is like, that's lunch.

Yeah. He's hearing the triangle ding-a-ling-a-ling. You know, it's time, you know. It was the talking boat from the Adam Sandler album. Supper's on. So he kind of went, lunchtime. And then he dove in. Yeah.

There's no sound on the show. Yes. Post the film The Artist winning Best Picture, we've seen so many copycats come to the small screen. Do you think it's positive that big little lies has no sound and that really you can't see them most of the time because the screen is so dark. Have you considered that your TV might just be broken? I don't own a TV.

Touche. He comes to my house or we go to the restaurant. Have you considered that your TV might be broken? Like maybe since the artist came out it's just been muted. It was struck by lightning

so it actually has more electricity than any other TV. TVs are really complicated these days. Like sometimes I'll watch it. That I have not seen to be the the case there's a lot of buttons on your tv your tv has a lot of tv mine doesn't have any i can't find less than they used to well i just got it it's new i got it at best buy where are the buttons all over the front the back the side the girth the buttons around the girth of the undercarriage there's

buttons wow can you press is there stuff on the screen you can press yeah that's how tvs work now wow this is so weird i'm on a tv podcast and you guys don't know this can you like press um like say like coney tornheiser's on there. Yeah. Can you press his, like, tie or something? And he'll just get a little... To bring it back to our bigger little live show. Every time Meryl Streep is on the screen, you can press a button that goes, Yes, Queen. Wow, the button goes that?

The button goes that. Yeah. The button goes, Yes, Queen. And, the button goes that? The button goes that. Yeah. The button goes, yes, queen. And she can hear you? Not only can she hear you, all of the characters can hear you. They can? You can summon them all. And what do they do?

They just look out into your house? Can you put a Ricky filter on it where you press a button and it shows what each cast member would look like if they were a member of the Flash? It takes a Flash photo of you. Oh, I wouldn't mind that. How about this? You can't use this.

Ricky and Morty at the Flash. What would that sound like? Hey, Rick. And the flash. What would that sound like? Go. Hey, Rick. Oh, boy. We got to get this punk band. Brap.

Shut up, Morty. Brap. Is that, wait, okay. Is that really Meryl's most iconic role or is it Mamma Mia? She is not Mamma Mia. Yes. It really depends on how you watch it. Great to keep in mind. No, it's not. She's not. She's not Mamma Mia. She is not Mamma Mia. Yes. It really depends on how you watch it. Great to keep in mind. No, it's not.

She's not. She's not Mamma Mia. She's not Mamma Mia. Okay. What about her extremely iconic role as the Black Widow in Avengers Endgame? Ah, now we're actually getting into something. She was really good at that. And can I say, isn't Black Widow married to Colin Jokes?

Happy for Colin Jokes. Yeah. Do you think you're going to the wedding? I can't imagine them keeping me out. I am on a mission. Yeah. Sean. Yeah.

Probably knows self off of that wedding. Sean knows Colin from the Lampoon. Yeah. Oh, cool. Maybe we'll see each other there at the wedding. Colin Jokes is really one of his cronies. Yeah, he's one of his cronies who's built my entire career by just handing me whatever I want. Same.

Yeah, it feels fucking awesome. He gave me a painting of Michael Jackson for my wedding. Oh, wow. And that's held up really well. That only goes up in value. What was he doing in the painting? So the wedding was, our wedding was at a,

like a global antique store. This is not a bit. I'm just, this is truly true heaven. And there were all these paintings. A global antique store? There are all these paintings by African artists of like American pop artists. Oh.

And so this was a painting by a guy in like Ghana. So it's a painting of Michael dancing. And then there's like lyrics all over the canvas, I suppose. And we unwrapped it. And I've never seen my dog get angrier at an inanimate object than when we unwrapped it. Wow. It's not in the house anymore. Sorry, Colin.

Do you? It's outside? I think Nick has it in his studio hidden hidden from me, because I told him, do not. I don't want this in my house. Sorry, Colin. I still want to go to the wedding. Mina, your tattoo. Is that so you can remember which Super Bowl you're on and you change it every year?

It's about a punk band I was in. I don't know if you heard earlier. If you have a tattoo, it means you were in a punk band. Ah, yes. Well, what's the name of the band? The Super Bowl? Mina and the Flash. That's

really surprising. Mine's called Ricky and the Bosh. Who's your favorite one of these guys, these crazy freaks on the show? Nutso maniacs. Besides Martha.

Running around. They're so random. Yeah, talking to each other. Mental. Being like, hello. Yeah. Absolutely mental. Yes.

They're chavs. Absolutely. It's a tie for me. Okay. Between Reese Witherspoon's character and the bird. Okay. Who's Reese Witherspoon's character? Her name is Madeline.

Franch. Franch? I was guessing. Who plays Franch? Who's Franch in this season? I can't give that away. Bruce, Celine, Martha. That's one of the big mysteries.

Who will turn out to be Franch? Bruce, Aline, Martha, Franch, and Cupertino are sort of the main two couples that we're dealing with here. Yeah. And they're tricking one another. What was the story of the season before? There's a murder. There's been a murder. And then at the end, it's revealed that it's Nicole Kidman's husband.

He's been abusing her. Nicole Kidman. Yeah. Okay. You know her. She's been abusing. Yes? No.

She's been abused by her husband, who is the person who dies. And also raped Shailene Woodley's character and is the father of her kid. And he's, yes. It's all revealed at the very end. And he's dead. And he dies at the end, yeah. That's Alexander Skarsgård. And got killed by everyone.

Zoe Kravitz. Everyone killed her. Everyone killed her. Well, that's what they told the cops, yeah. Everybody did it. In a her. Everyone killed her. Well, that's what they told the cops, yeah. Everybody did it. In a way. I can say that. And in a way, he did it.

To himself. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I have good news. I want to use that on my show. We can release the episode June 18th. How's that sound, Mina? You just watched Bosh take a shit.

What? And that was what came out of That experience Is that who you had to consult with? Bosh, yeah That's who was keeping you From releasing it? I kind of don't want this to come out now You don't want it to

Ever come out? Because we're mowing the lawn. My hope is that if it comes out later, I can use the material on my own show and I won't get sued. Let's negotiate. What's some of the stuff that you want to use? I really want to use Rick and Morty

and the Flash. It's Ricky and Morty and the Flash. Whatever. Rick, don't shoot me with the lasers. I gotta shoot you, Morty. You're messing up my aim. The Flash. So I'd like to use that, obviously.

You gotta. Okay. The Flash is playing an Elvis cover and Adam Scott's lip syncing to it at the big talent show right before Andrew Sarsgaard falls off the cliff. It's Alexander Sarsgaard. Yeah, they're all the same.

They're all Sarsgaards. That's what happened? He fell off the cliff? Stellan Sarsgaard. Yes, let his Sarsgaard down. Actually, Nicole Kidman is going to play a huge role in season two. Different from season one. What?

I'm trying to give a teaser. she's gonna play somebody else cole woodsman uh you'll see snow white and the kidsman was she in the snow white movie damn she should have been that's kin her. The Skarsgård, one of them is It. Oh, his brother plays It, the clown. Could be interesting to get him to come to be part of season two. He's It. Meryl Streep is his mom in season two. Meryl Streep is It's mom.

This is what I meant to believe. That is her name. And her name is that. She wears fake teeth in the show too, which is crazy. Are you allowed to say that? She's in the trailer so you can see the fake teeth. Anytime that I see any movie with my mother-in-law where one of the characters has like a fake teeth or a wig or something and we walk out, if it's like a buzzy movie, she goes, well, someone should give an award nomination to those teeth.

My God. Take Bohemian Rhapsody. Yeah, if she went to Bohemian Rhapsody, she'd go, I'll tell you, they ought to give an Oscar award to those teeth. And I love her dearly, but it is very predictable that it will happen. What do I say about it? I go like, oh, yeah, fake teeth. Yeah, they have teeth on. What are you, which, grab a bite, huh?

What are they doing now? Then they have to, they're killing someone else now? Meryl Streep, who's the mother of that guy, is in town, and she knows. She knows everything.

There's a lot of lies, both big and little, circulating in the town of Montezuma. Okay, now she's coming to... Uncover the lies. Okay, now she's coming to... Uncover the lice. Okay, and she's essentially Bosch. And the truth coming out is Montezuma's revenge. Is that correct? Don't give away the whole...

Well, I'm just saying, if the truth comes out, Montezuma would effectively be able to take its revenge. Meryl Streep is Bosch. She's Detective Bosch. Okay, well, they've killed the wrong guy. Bosch is... His mom is Bosch? Is your dog really named after Detective Bosch?

Yeah. Oh, okay. Why? Because I like it. Like, does your dog have those... He likes his show. He likes the dog. Qualities?

He has some similar qualities. Yeah. Like what? qualities he has some similar qualities yeah like what well he was sort of born in a shelter because his mother was a prostitute like bosh not unlike bosh anything else and she was abandoned by society he spends all his days well he's in Los Angeles. He's detecting things all the time. He's killed a bunch of people.

Wait, Bosh is... Always justified. Bosh kills people on the show? Oh yeah. Opening of season one. Blammo. Wow. It's like Game of Thrones. Yeah. This season, he's killing people on a freaking plane.

Nuts. Throws one of them off the plane. See ya. The guy on the way down. Damn, Bosh. What percentage of people think he's named after Chris Bosh? Small percentage. Small percentage. Small percentage.

It's pretty rare that people say, like, Chris Bosh, my one insane Miami Heat fan friend. Yeah. Usually people will not have any association with it, or they'll say, like, the washing machine or something, because it's a appliance company also named bosh they make like yeah dishwashers um sometimes people say like the tv show and then a smaller percentage of them will know that the tv show is based on a series of books

wow i said like the painter like the painter comes up, yes. Hieronymus Bosch. Occasionally someone will be classy. And then we'll say, well, he's named after the detective, but the detective is named after the painter. Also, the detective's name is Hieronymus Bosch. Oh, in the show. In the show. The detective's name is Hieronymus. And in the book. Hieronymus.

Yeah. Everybody calls him Harry Bosch. Quotation marks. Harry, quotation marks, Bosch. The implication being that he's like complicated and smart and... Well, that's what his name is. There's kind of the implication of that. I like the idea of having a dog whose name can be interpreted a number of different ways

and it allows you to immediately gauge who you're dealing with. Well, Bosch, Hieronymus Bosch, the detective, has looked into the mouth of hell so that others among us don't have to. And he's come back to show us what really matters. Your dog is named after Lenny Bruce, of course. Our biggest inspiration. Lenny Bruce. Yeah. The funniest person who ever lived.

And one of the last great white comedians to use racial slurs. I just picked up. Without getting, you know, in trouble. Well, he did get in trouble, but not for that. Well, yes. Is he canceled? Is Lenny Bruce canceled? Is Lenny Bruce canceled?

Yeah, by the police. Yeah, by the freaking state courts.. Is he cancelled? Is Lenny Bruce cancelled? Is Lenny Bruce cancelled? Yeah, by the police. Yeah, by the freaking state courts. What did he do? He said nipple in public. Did he do anything? Because I just, we had his book laying around. He said porno stuff. I read like 20 pages and they're beautifully

written. Wow. But then I don't know anything about his life. What's his book? He went insane Should I unread those pages? Yeah, you have to You have to get zapped by Men in Black International I don't make the rules You gotta neuralize yourself like Chris Hemsworth in Men in Black International

He's not named after Lenny Bruce Who's he named after? Of course, he's named after Lenny Clark The Boston stand-up and buddy to Dennis Leary. You remember him from The Job, Rescue Me. He used to drive a freaking bus for Crying Out Loud. And now he's your dog. Keep guessing.

Lenny Riefenstahl. He's freaking of Mice and Men. He's freaking crushing buddies. Nope. The band Len. Oh, Lena Dunham's newsletter. Your dog has the original Lenny letter.

I'm still so angry about that. The band Len. That they did it better. They're named after the band Len. Yeah, Steal My Sunshine. We call him Len. That they did it better. They're named after the band Len. Yeah. Steal My Sunshine. Steal My Sunshine. We call him Len.

And he has a lot of nicknames, like Not All Len. Do you remember Len's album name? No. Can't Fight the Bum Rush. That's right. Or Can't Stop the Bum Rush. It's one of the two. Yeah.

I think it's Stop. Can't Stop the Bum Rush. Can't Stop the Bum Rush. It's one of the two. Yeah, I think it's Stop. Can't Stop the Bum Rush. Can't Stop the Bum Rush. Leonard Part 6. Does Len have a song other than Can't Steal My Sunshine? They had a whole album. That song was, yes, you can steal my sunshine. The album is Can't Stop the Bum Rush.

Steal My Sunshine, Cryptic Souls Crew, Man of the Year. It is Can't Stop the Bum Rush. Ial My Sunshine, Cryptic Souls Crew, Man of the Year. It is Can't Stop the Bum Rush. I wish I hadn't said Can't Fight First. Hot Rod Monster Jam, Cold Chillin'. I mean, these people were doing everything. Oh, whoa. Song number 10 is named Big Meanie. Song number 9 is called

Cheeky Bugger. I gotta stop reading these titles. Is he gonna be on the show? Len? Yes. Leonard Cohen. No. At some point. But he's not although he has been a star in an ESPN commercial.

No, well that's happening on the actual show. There's no birds on the Twitter show. Yet. Okay. Except that Twitter bird that oh it's true this bird is gonna be there yeah there's always a bird there what if someone does a tweet with an arrow pointing up that's like this sucks it's up right under yours in my feed yeah what if that happens that happens to me a lot already. Wow. Anyone can do that. Yeah, she sucks.

No, but it doesn't even have to be a reply, Mina. This is what's so dangerous. There's like a joker type person who can just post a normal tweet that says this sucks and has an arrow pointing up. And whatever is above it sucks. Is now a full on victim of sucking. is now a full-on victim of sucking. But what if, hear me out, you do another tweet right below that tweet that says, this sucks, thus nullifying.

I don't think you'll have time. Wait, is it pointing up or down? Pointing up. Okay, so you're passing it up. Why don't you just block it and be like, this tweet blocks any... But then you have the space in between where it says, like, this was tweeted by someone you blocked.

It doesn't just disappear. You're the only person who doesn't see. And also, what if it's complicit? Lenny was tweeting this sucks. And then in that case, your own fucking dog saying that your shit sucks. That's my fear. You can't block it. You should do one below, right below yours that says this is a mirror.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit shit oh shit right right like whatever you say that old trick yeah yes i'm rubber you're glue or or not it's not that this one is saying this is a mirror and so you're saying what you're looking at is you and you are the one who sucks not amir blumenfeld although he is on my feed an unfortunate amount. I never thought about that as a fight back strategy. When I did a Twitter show for the NFL draft, there were commenters in there spoiling the Avengers, which I did not like. Wow. No.

What did they say? You know, the Black Widow kills everyone. Okay. Meryl Streep. Meryl Streep. Iconic role. Meryl Streep. Yeah, as the Black Widow kills everyone. Okay. Meryl Streep. Meryl Streep. Iconic role. Meryl Streep, yeah, as the Black Widow. That's the true endgame. She's kicking everyone to death.

I hope I get invited to her wedding. Meryl's? It's not too late. You'd probably get invited to her daughter's wedding. Mamie Gummer. Mamie Gummer. You could probably go to Mamie's. Yeah, do you know Mamie? I don't, but she's dating- The hashtag will be Summerie Gummer. You could probably go to Mamie's. Yeah, do you know Mamie?

I don't, but she's dating The hashtag will be summer of Gummer. Then it has to be in the summer. When do you want it to be? You want Mamie Gummer's wedding to be the dead of winter?

What about hashtag gum and Gummer? Okay, that's a pretty marrying, at least a gum heir. She has to be marrying Mr. Wrigley. James Gum, the killer. But what if she did marry a Wrigley and then had hashtag gum and gummer?

That would be incredible. I'd like it if she was marrying Bazooka Joe. If she marries Bazooka Joe and the hashtag is Plum and Gummer. Even more. Yeah. They just have to be connected in some way. Instead of pulling up the bride's veil, she pulls down Mort's turtleneck collar for the big kiss. What if the hashtag is Joe the Gummer?

And she's marrying Joe the Plumber from during the elections. That is a throwback. That could be pretty sick, huh? Not on this show. It's not really. No, we bring it up all the time. Joe the Plumber. We don't want to forget our history.

Did he ever get human for office? Or will be doomed to repeat it. Ken Bone is the one who got it. Ken Bones is running mate. But Ken Bone got milkshake ducked. Right? Because people found all of his like Reddit porn comments or something. Yeah.

He likes pregnant women. Oh, very offensive. Oh, yeah. It's really, that hurts my feelings. Give life to everybody. I was upset because for Halloween, I dressed Lenny as Len Bone. Because I owned a red sweater already. Yeah, perfect.

And then Lenny got canceled. That sucks. I know. Lenny, dude. Dude. Who's Lenny named after? Who's he named after? You can keep guessing.

Dude. Who's Lenny named after? Who's he named after? You can keep guessing. We've done so many. There's been a lot of them. It's a mix of Lenny Kravis. Lenny Kravis?

Jesus. This is what your show's like, huh? It's a lot of you going like, it's actually similar to our show where you say a name wrong and then you kind of chuckle about it. His daughter's on Big Little Lies. Yeah, so that's got to be a problem for you.

Zoe Kravis. Zoe Kravis. She's good on it. I used to see her around. She's good on it. Okay, she killed somebody. Really sounds good. Good at acting. Good at acting. She's very small.

Well, she's with Reese's ex. What? Zoe. Oh, on the show. I thought you meant in real life. Has not seen it. Has not seen it. That's the idea of the show.

An undisguised moment of purest confusion. And it's just one of those nightmare situations where your ex is dating Zoe Kravitz, and she's sort of earth-mother-y like yoga instructor and going like, hey, let's all just have good vibes. And you're going like, I don't exactly want to have good vibes with my ex's new girlfriend. Classic. Now that is classic. That's classic.

Not the food I had on my face. The food I had on my face was quite unusual. It's a mix of Lenny Kravitz and who? Did you see when his whole dick came out? Yeah, out of his jeans. His fucking wang came out of his jeans. My Lenny's wang is always out as well. Okay, so that's something they have in common

Lenny Dykstra Bosch could maybe Lenny Dykstra Financial advisor This is a Nick thing I'm not going to apologize So you submitted Lenny Kravitz That's your portion of it

That was also a Nick thing Basically I just wanted Nick To stop suggesting weird names So I tried to choose A normal dog name Basically, I just wanted Nick, Nick is my husband, to stop suggesting weird names. So I tried to choose a normal dog name that resonated with figures who were important in his life. What was he suggesting? Just dumb shit. Oh, yeah.

Just what kind of stuff? Names of like crazy buildings and stuff? Dumb shit. Dumb shit? He's going to name the dog dumb shit? That's why we want Lenny. Oh no. Nick. You know, Bosh is a tough dog name because usually

you want it to be two syllables. Why? Fuck off. Because if it's one syllable, it sounds like... So a lot of dog commands are one syllable? Unfortunately, nobody talks to him like that. Until today.

What the fuck? I guess you really were mean after all. This shit, unbelievable. Bye. I have you on my show. Hollywood Handbook. That was a HeadGum Podcast.