Hollywood Handbook - Mitra Jouhari, Our Rant Friend

Episode Date: February 4, 2019

MITRA JOUHARI joins The Boys to do a Rant Wheel.This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon ( www.mackweldon.com  code: THEBOYS), Away ( www.awaytravel.com/THEBOYS20  code: THEBOYS20), and Harry's ( www.harrys.com/HANDBOOK ).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. So, there I am. It's at the Library Computer Lab. And I'm with Chris Bridges, a.k.a. Lucris. And I am with Antonio Banderas. Or it's maybe Chris Kattan. And Chris and I can with Antonio Banderas. Or it's maybe Chris Kattan, and Chris and I can't tell because Chris is obviously able to disappear into a role. Similar command of English, similar romantic energy.

When he's disappearing into that role, it is hard. When he becomes Antonio. Yes. It is sex on a stick. And I hope you don't mind me saying that. And the stick effectively is his wing. But we're in the. And he, of course, would play a lot of those characters, romantic characters like Mango and Mr. Peepers, to have an excuse to rub up on women.

And that's not me saying that. That's something that he himself has said. Mm-hmm. But he's Antonio, or it is Antonio, and we're not sure. We've all heard the stories from Corky Romano that we just don't know when he's him and when they're them. But we're souping up the computers in the computer lab, pimping them out. Crazy mega RAM.

Wow. Microprocessor. Okay. Frigging juicing all the electricity. The Hertz drive? Putting, yeah, yeah, you're not kidding. No, it really does kill so we're doing freaking the oh and by the way the logic board yeah there's more like a logic tree at this point because we are going nuts on the tree like being made a driver like a lot being

like the the biggest and best board oh yeah you can get that's god's board treats god's board yeah boards were already here sorry carpenters i know you want to take credit for all this they found them yeah they actually already were here sorry and tony i'll tell you the same thing or it might be ch. And we're doing this, and then we're kind of like putting the final touches on. Now it's a lot of aesthetic stuff. Flames, skulls, skateboards, bees, stinging bees, just decals and stuff. And then the last step is, hey, what what we're doing and this is for the kids when they turn it back on

maybe instead of it going like they usually do it goes you probably think that you are better now better now you only say that cause I'm not around not around you know I never meant to let you down

let you down would have gave you. Would have gave you anything. Would have gave you everything. Whoa. You need incredible speed and power to be able to do that. And even then, it's probably getting very hot. And the fan is going really fast. Yes. And we're test driving it a few times.

And we're starting a lot of fire. Burn the fuck. I mean, talk about a Hertz drive. That really was hurting. But finally, we get it to a place where we think it's going to work. We think it's going to be safe. And we let those kids in.

And the look on their faces when I sang Post Malone. It's your voice. It was all worth it. Yeah, well, we don't want to pay for the rights to the song. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook. We do a show every week.

We do. Whether we like it or not. And sometimes I don't feel like doing it. This is one of those days Do you want to talk about why? No We talk about TV and movies We have a producer named Chef Kevin

We have engineer, Engineer Jordan The company is called Earwolf Owned by Scripps. That we do the shows for. And Midroll and Stitcher are all wrapped up in this. Yes, they're under the same corporate umbrella. My dog Bosh is here. Yeah.

What else is happening in the studio? We have had many guests. Oh. Dozens. And this week we have new guests this is why part of why i feel like i have to do this we now lately we just have we don't have anyone who hasn't been on the show five six times before yeah because they't, people either are very anxious to come back for like career reasons or will not come back and certainly won't do the show for the first time. Yes. You can tell how someone is doing based on whether or not they're willing to come back

on this show. And it'll be interesting to see what happens for your career following this show, whether you come back, in which case, my condolences, or whether you say, I'll never do this again. People either instantly reply to the text and say, oh yes, when? When can I do it? Or you see the

bubbles appear for a long time and then they just go away and never come back. So, yeah, it's all part of our new quiz. Yeah, Mitra's here, and we'll see if you're a right away or you're a bubbler. Okay, Mitra, hi.

Hi. Mitra, your Twitter name is Tweetra? Tweetra. That is so good. Thank you. Can you do that for anybody? Yeah, can you do it for me? Yes. So what's your for anybody? Yeah. Can you do it for me? Yes.

So what's your last name? Clemdog. Okay. Clemdog Tweetra. Okay. Okay. Okay. I didn't think that was going to work.

Yeah. But it really does. It really does have a ring. Yeah. This kid's got some spunk. He's Davenport Tweetra at Twitter.com. At Twitter.comtra. Yeah.

Whoa. Shit, do Chef Kevin. Chef Tweetra Kevin at Johari at Twitter.com backslash Tweetra Johari. Now, you're launching a pilot. Uh-huh. Yes. That's at Earwolf. Yes. And can I just at Earwolf. Yes.

And can I just say welcome to the family. Thank you. I don't have a chance to be a member of the family, but I'm in the family. I was going to say, if it goes. I remember when we did our pilot. How was that? It was bad. Oh.

Well, I'm excited to try. But at the time, they would just take whatever they could. Because they were making money off us. So at the time, it was like a multi-level marketing thing. Where they were just trying to. Like Kaka. Yes. They were just trying to.

It was bodies. Warm bodies. And so little did we know, we were trying to do a good job. Yes. But I'm not even sure they listened to it. No. It didn't matter what we did. We'd go like, did you like the show and

they go yeah yeah but really they like the money basically that we were offering them uh we want to do something mitra so i kind of like i have all these different lives and show business and i try not to sort of let them cross over. But you being here represents kind of a blurring of those lines because, of course, you and I— Well, it's relationship, George. Sorry, but Seinfeld— Yes. Do you know Jerry Seinfeld?

I know of. Yes. You would love this guy. I love— He's not—no. He's a little fresh. So, you know, don't look for him on any college campuses. But because he's so fucking raw.

It's like, of course he's not doing colleges. But anyway, Jerry Seinfeld had this program with George and when relationship George would collide. Oh, this was with Veep too. They did Relationship George on Veep? Veep's in it. Veep's in. Oh, yes. Veep is in it. But was there, I have not seen all of them and I can't always follow it. Was there a Relationship Veep and a

normal Veep? So there's Veep from, Veep at work and then Veep not at work. Yes. Because she has to talk outside to lots of people in America when she's Veep, but then there's also Veep behind the scenes. So I think that probably is a nice parallel to relationship George. The many sides of the same.

So this is almost, yes. So relationship Veep is one side of George. And there's something I'm just thinking of. And I know we don't like to sing this man's songs anymore, but it's like, let me give you that. Veep, Veep. You know what I mean? Let me give you that. Veep, Veep.

Yeah. Yeah. And you always separate the art from the artist. When it comes to parody songs is what you like to say. Well, because it's about the jokes. Well, I'm stealing. If that makes any sense. No one should be mad at me for stealing from him.

Because I'm now making a ton of money off saying VP. Should we not be allowed to loot his, like, rifle through his pockets now that he's gone? Hey, I'm with you. Right? You can't take it with you, buddy. You're a fucking corpse.

I can't dig around and steal leftover cements or whatever. So I'm relationship George, but today the worlds are colliding. Worlds are colliding. Ah! I spilled. I did a big spill. Kevin, emergency spill! Yes.

He's coming. The Kleenex. But it was- Edgy or Jordan, I'm! He's coming. The Kleenex. Edge of your Jordan. I'm not talking to you. Please, I'm so ashamed now. What did I do? But it was worth it, I think, for the big physical move that you did when you said worlds are colliding. Worlds are colliding.

It's almost inevitable every time. And I wish you guys could have seen what he did. It was so graceful. My worlds are colliding, Kramer. So, did you smear any of the names? That's, I guess, the big advantage of nobody wanting to sign this table anymore, because people are embarrassed to come here. It's safe to spill.

It's much easier to spill. Kevin just popped in. Why would Kevin appear in that room again? Maybe just say hi to me. It feels like he should only be coming into this room and with something for me to dry up the coffee. I know, but it's not, I mean. The door might be locked.

Open the door. Nobody would lock this. Thanks. The door's locked. You guys lock them out? Bosh locked the door. No, the door wasn't locked. Yeah, Kevin's doing a trick.

Well, nice trick, Kevin. He freaking made me spill. So let me talk about relationship, George. Please. The worlds are colliding because Mitra and I did an episode of Love It or Leave It. Yeah. Which is, I am, of course course a political junkie

I'm obsessed with political I love I love the social liberal fiscal liberal and that's what we talk about on that show and vote and you go on the show

you vote you talk about political, and everybody votes. You sort of are there screaming with a lot of other people that are sitting next to you about vote and about, you know, like, Cheeto.

And save everyone with a vote. And is it, now, is every, everyone, inside everyone is a Bernie bro, a Cheeto, a Covington Catholic school kid. And an INTJ. And an INTJ. Those are, yes. Is this right?

I'm only, I haven't, I don't know the show. I don't know politics. right? I don't know the show. I don't know politics. Where I grew up, we didn't have that. That's sad because where I grew up, people yell, people believe in something, people are upset, but people are talking to each other and people are watching news and it's different types of news depending on belief. You grew up in a news junkie town. I grew up in a news junkie town and so I had a lot

of things. One of those towns like you're like a Rust Belt town where everyone these days is a news junkie. Yes. I grew up in Ohio next to Farm. And that's real. Tell me about Farm. Farm was big.

And what was cool about farm is that- You're something of a fellow farmy brat with Sean. Your farm. So for my farm, big. Farm had a real barn. Farm had corn most of the time, but not always. And farm went on for a long time. That's the thing about corn.

You have to know growing up on a farm, it's only sometimes. Only sometimes. And you want it to be all the time I remember waking up on farm day When the things pop out of the soil And seeing that there was not going to be corn that year And I was going to have to wait At least one more year to eat corn This kid's the real deal Hayes

You were right She does know farm Because sometimes the beevils get in there. I still recall waking up, going to try to beat up the beevils, walking down, milk the goose. Everything.

Get your hands on those udder. Please. Your hands if you're lucky. Your hands if you're lucky. Anyway, so we did love it or leave it I unfortunately was given leave it at the end of the show and I was given or

that seems better than leave it to me but it's so ambiguous it must be tough for you to oars are heavy and if you don't have a boat, what's the point? Mm-hmm. What do you do with your oar? Well, I repurposed it. It's like a big, like, crew oar.

It's big. So I made 10 hairbrushes out of it and gave them as gifts to all my friends. I was going to say, your hair looks... Good. Multiple brushed. But is it true that you gave them

to all your friends, but your friends at the same time had shaved off all their hair to try to make a big oar for you? Or a boat, perhaps? Probably a boat. Well, I was giving them the brushes as a statement to tell them I didn't like A, the

gifts, and B, the look. If that makes any sense. Like, make your hair come back. Yeah, here's a brush like make your hair come back yeah here's a brush grow your hair out yeah make your hair here's a brush

loser but we did the show it was giant smash gigantic smash show we have been sort of touring around just us doing the episode again

what did they do for season two of that show of our episode yeah well people people love the episodes. So mostly we just transcribe our parts of the episode and then say those parts of the episode. Yes. Because people, it's not enough to hear that.

People want to see that. So when people see us do that, they cheer. Yes. And I do want to point out that I was explicitly told that I was not allowed to sit next to John. And that me too. When I'm on the show, I have to sit. I'm actually in another room. Because I always try to touch him.

When I talk to someone on a podcast, I have to be making contact. You were saying, I think there was a little delay, that when they actually cut it, they really did a good job of editing it out. But you were saying hello a lot. I didn't know I was responding to me. Yeah, I think because there was maybe like a 15 second delay. I could tell how frustrating that was for you. But it cut together actually really nicely, you have to admit. But at times it seemed like you were

really scared and not sure if anyone was there. Well, it was scary because the room I was in was dark, no windows, and I couldn't hear anything. And no one would tell me who the president was, so I just didn't even know what opinion I should have. Who you were supposed to vote for. Yeah, and I just kept trying to cast

my vote, but it's a paradox of choice. There are just too many options. Thank you. Because when you don't know who president is, how can you vote for president? You can vote for anybody. Yeah. So I just kept voting for different baseball players from Cincinnati Reds because that's where I'm from. Wow, like who?

Ken Griffey Jr. used to play there. Okay, that is most famous team. Yeah, he rose. Sure, that's a big one. And I think it actually is his most famous team. Heroes. Sure. That's a big word. And I think it actually is his most famous team. Okay. All right. I'm willing to argue about this.

Okay. I agree with Mitra. I picture Ken Griffey Jr. I see him standing next to Barry Larkin in a Cincinnati Reds uniform. So we have to get into our main set, what we really want to do on this show. So they do a segment on Love It or Leave It. So I still don't know what this is.

You don't know what Love It or Leave It is? No, I haven't been invited. I mean, here Mitra's complaining about being in a separate room, but I'm apparently in a separate entire industry. You want to do the show. Well, as I said, where I grew up, we didn't really have voting and stuff like that. I grew up on a very different farm than yours.

We still had Farm Day. We still had Beevils. But we didn't really have voting machines. Maybe the same Beevils because they fly around. Is there any way that you guys could figure out if it was the same Beevils? A 23andMe? Well, you could do that because definitely they got some of your blood from biting you.

And in return, you get a little bit of theirs. Your blood if you're lucky. So there is, I'm sure, a way to see if you guys were bit by the same beevils and have some of their blood the same. Okay, well, you just give me a swab when we're done, and I'll mail it out. He's got one right in his shirt pocket. Yeah. Sorry, it's a little dirty.

I keep confusing my eating tissues and my 23andMe tissues, so I never actually get a kid out because I just keep eating them. That's not what we talk about. We have to talk about love. We can't talk about the 23MU tissues. Okay, you're going to have to have me back. This is why I'm getting ahead of it because I know this is a big thing.

But we have to talk about it. We have to do the love it or leave it. This could be a good audition for you. Should we book for when she comes back though? Because I know I'm more interested a little bit. I say like, yes, I say,

Kevin, book it while we're doing this. Book it, Kevin. But for this one, we have to do. Do you want me to get, I should get out my calendar.

This is carved out and it's time sensitive. I'll tell you why. Because love it or leave it. The, they have a segment called the Rant Wheel and the copyright has lapsed. So we have this very

tight window to get in and start doing the Rant Wheel. Ah, yes. Now, of course, the Rant Wheel is they put rants on the wheel, they spin the wheel, and you actually have to haul off and do a big rant. You get to absolutely go off.

And you get to ether one of your enemies. And it can be a person and it can be a concept. It can be anyone except Lovett. That's not allowed. Okay. I try. Every single time allowed. Okay. I try. Every single time from my cave, I try. I try.

I say, please, let me just air my grievances about love it. No. Yes. When I was doing the show, you tried to ether love it. I was like, this is getting cut. And also, you didn't do a great job. Well, I just kept. You kept talking about how he was like pretty nice.

I was like, John i was like john love it okay how about you're you're smart you're funny you seem like you work really hard this guy sound like the freaking dosekis guy yeah i mean are we kidding here i know so we can do the rant wheel right now. Okay. And the window is very tight. Well, we have to put rants on it. Okay. And so what's something that you want to put up there? I'd like to put my availability for next week to come back on the podcast.

You want to rant about that? Yeah, I just want to list off the days I'm free so that you guys... But yeah, just put it up there. We'll see if it lands on that. But that's something I think would be interesting for me to talk about. That might piss off Kevin. Kevin is really into like making this show popular. He's like obsessed with it.

It's pathetic. And so like he would probably be pissed. Also, he wants more men on the show. It's pathetic. No, queen. I'm looking at Kevin. I'm shaking my hand. Okay.

Okay. So the first thing on the rant wheel is Beatrice's availability for next week. Okay. Can you just write it as that? Okay. Sean, what's something you want to put up there? The rant wheel. You want to rant about the rant wheel? Okay. Sean, what's something you want to put up there? The rant wheel. You want to rant about the rant wheel?

Okay. For me, so just so everybody knows, Engineer Jorim just typed in Mitra's availability for next wheel. I think that's our fault because we did say words while she was typing. And that means that she has to type the words that she hears. When I was in engineering school, they told me that I was going to have to listen and type something totally different at the same

time. So that was a class. That wasn't at your school? No. She actually had her own school. She has a BA in vocal performance. She has a BA in vocal performance at Engineer Jordan's school for sound drills. This will never end. Well, why would it?

Oh my God, the fucking sound. Jesus, the tone. You need to leave here and go straight for audition to the void. Jordan, why weren't you on Masked Engineer?

Come on. Yeah, you failed us. In bed. Come on, what is this? The end of a fortune cookie? What's this, a fortune cookie? Ah, yes. Yes, yeah.

What's the third one for Rant Wheel? The third one is, you know, you got somewhere to be. I would say turning off my game before I save. Is this all in the same line? Yeah, that's all one. My seatbelt. Oh, shoot.

B-E-L-T. Family style dining. Yeah, that's good. Hot drink. Hot drink, that's good. Hot drink. Hot drink, that's good. Can I cold drink? Oh, good. Good.

Like antennas. These antennas everywhere. Is that how you spell it? Yes. Okay. Little you spell it? Yes. Okay. Little cars. Uh-huh. Now we only have one spot left, Mitra, so you better get it there.

Okay. My bottom row of teeth. Okay. It says my bottom row of meet your teeth i hope i get that one okay so now we scroll up apply wheel changes okay now we actually have a visual rant wheel that is computerized and so the options, we just want to review them. Mitra's availability for next week, the rant wheel, turning off game before save, seatbelt,

family style dining, hot drink, cold drink, antennas, little cars, and my bottom row of Mitra's teeth. So who's going first? I don't know.

Okay. I'll go. Wait, no, Kevin has to devise a randomized system. Oh, yes. Because, Kevin, we set up the whole rant wheel thing. Do we want to get a second wheel in a new window and spin to see who goes first? No, that's really smart. And they don't do that on Love or Leave It.

And that is what I wish they would do. So it's exciting that you guys are doing it. Yeah, because they made me go first and I wasn't ready. Yeah. And they were just like why did you just delete them all? No, no, no. It's a new wheel to pick who's going first. Oh, and now I see we can have up to a hundred

choices. Oh, we gotta do that. Come on, we gotta do that. We have can have up to 100 choices. Up to 100 choices. Oh, we got to do that. Come on. We got to do that. We have to get up to 100. I agree. We have to do 100. Maybe we spin once and then we add a bunch more.

Sean Hayes, Mitra. Do we add Kevin as well? No. Add Kevin. Okay, great. We should have Kevin. Yeah, Chef Kevin. Okay.

Not me. Oh, Jesus. Oh, wow. No, let's definitely get Jordan in there. You gotta sing about it. Yeah, if you're willing to sing your rant. Yeah, you have to sing your rant because you missed Mass Engineer. Okay, that's fine.

I can deal with that. And you gotta have a name of the animal that you're dressed as as the Mask Engineer. Okay. All right, sure. Okay. She hasn't even listened to it yet. You didn't listen to it? I didn't listened to it yet. She didn't listen. So you're the one.

I didn't listen to it yet. So you're the one. Yeah, that's right. I'm the one. Reminds me of the joke Alf told in the Alf movie. Wait, say the joke. He goes,

what's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? And the person says, I don't know. And he says, so you're the one. Spin the wheel please.

Ah and Sean is up first. Let's do best two out of three. How would that work? Well spin it two more times we'll find out. Oh we're spinning the rant wheel. Oh, no. Sean gets turning off game before save.

Oh, gosh. And now, do we put a clock on it? And do we have to do some kind of music? Okay, what kind of music do you want? Search YouTube. How about YouTube running out of cave music? YouTube running out of cave music? Yeah, running out of cave music.

Into the light. Because I want it to be stressful but triumphant. Yes. And also because my experience of Love It or Leave It is in a room with no windows and no light. So for me it's sort of... To simulate that, it's you trying to get out of a cave. Yeah.

Running out of cave music. Ice Age checking out the cave. That could be good. Which one? From the Ice Age... Okay, hold on. Let me not... Score.

Turn up. That's good. Okay. I can rant to this. Start the clock. Lock the gates. Wait, how long is it supposed to go for? She started the clock at five minutes.

That's too long. No, you have to go for five minutes. That's awesome. That's the show. That's the show. And that's what you're getting into when you're going on Love Relieve It. So if you want, consider this your audition. Okay.

All right. It's time to rant. Everybody's heard the wheel spin, and now I'm going off. Would you get out of my way while I rant, please? Pardon my rant, but I think it's time for you to hear a little bit about it. Man, when the wheel stops, it's rant time, baby. And when I'm ready to go, you better clear out the lane because I'm going to be dunking on a couple of ideas here that maybe really cheese my nards. So if you ever think about how you turn off a game before you save it,

well, then you know what I'm about to say. Uh-uh. Nope. Not having it. It's not exactly my cup of tea. Oh, and by the way, I don't even drink tea. I fucking inject that shit into my butthole. Yeah, the human butt organ has a lot of different things about it that could be

interesting. But one of them is that when you inject tea, it doesn't exactly make you happy that you turn off your game before you save it. What's he talking about? Some of the old people in the crowd are saying, here's what I'm talking about. The rapper, the game. He is pretty turned off by some of what I've been talking about lately. That's right. I've been saying that he is not a great rapper. And he has been saying to me, don't turn me off. I was about to save you. And in the scenario I'm describing, I was about to get beat up.

And he could have stopped it. So, yeah, I don't exactly like turning off the game before he saves me because I do get punched and I do get beat up and it does knock all the tea out of my butt. Wow. That's good. Then you went over your time. Oh, great. But that's allowed. Can we stop the ISH music, please?

That was really good. That's a great audition. It was a little scary. Yeah. What scared you about it? How mad you got. Your passion. How raw it was. Yeah. yes yeah that's what i was going

for but it's good because it's nice to hear people talk about the stuff they care about in this industry where everyone is like hooked up to device everyone has freaking irony poison it's sad yeah it's sad like like why don't we just like like, talk and care, if that makes any sense. So, X Sean. It so does. Thank you. X him. From the wheel.

Got it, got it, got it, got it, got it. He's gone. I'm an X wheel. Okay. Now spin the wheel. And I need the sound. Uh-oh. Oh, it's Engineer Jordan.

Give the people what they want. Okay. Now spin the rant wheel, please. And you do have to sing it. Oh, Cold Drink. This should be good. Should it be to music, or it's just me singing? It should be to to music or it's just me singing it should be to music if you listen to the mass engineer the way we did it was you found a youtube karaoke track and you sing over that and you have to say what your animal is okay what should the karaoke track be you decide yeah

everyone decide on mass engineer they did a really job. You're doing a really good job, too. Oh, thanks, Kevin. Kevin just came in and got Engineer Jordan's ear, and it freaked her out pretty bad. Okay. This is cold drinks. That's your animal name, too? Sure.

Yeah, we can go with that. Engineer cold drinks. Engineer cold drinks. Engineer cold drinks. Goodness gracious. That's what she says at the beginning. That's her like... Woo! Yeah.

Oh, it's so cold. That's her like mustard on the beach. These drinks are so cold. I like cold. I like cold drinks. You should be ranting. I like cold. I like cold drinks. You should be ranting. I like them with ice cubes in my glass. No, you don't like it.

Oh, okay. I really don't like it. Never mind. Oh, I just don't want cold drinks. Oh, I just don't want cold. I don't want cold drinks. More specifics, please. Oh, please. Okay.

I went to the restaurant and I got a drink and I said, what the hell? There's ice in this drink. I don't understand. On the restaurant it says hot. Drink served only. But you gave me a damn cold drink I don't want a cold drink at all Please don't give me a cold drink at all I just want some hot chocolate

Oh please I don't want a cold drink Please I don't want a cold drink please I don't want a cold drink less specific I don't okay I'm done that's good

you went over your time thank you engineer Jordan alright thank you engineer cold drinks okay thanks I've never seen you so pissed off there were so many Your time. Thank you, Engineer Jordan. All right. Thank you, Engineer Cold Drinks. Okay. Thanks. I've never seen you so pissed off. There were so many.

I guess I was anticipating that all the times where she's saying, like, I want to have this, I want to have that, that she'd be saying, I want to have hot drink or don't want to have cold drink. No. But she didn't use those opportunities. Yeah. And that was a surprise. And I just actually, when I had to do my rant, didn't even know we were allowed to use a karaoke track.

Do you want to redo your rant? No. Do you want me to add it back on the wheel? Maybe after. Yeah, put me back on the wheel just in case. Okay, X yourself. Just in case. And add Sean.

Okay. And now spin the wheel, please. Just in case there's a chance to do a karaoke track. Okay. Okay, here we go. Mitra's turn. Okay, let me just X out what we have already done.

So it's this one. And cold drink. Cold drink. Okay. Apply wheel changes. Wheel time with... Ah, seatbelt. Seatbelt.

Okay. And do you want to do a song? Do you want background music? I'd like to have some background tune. I would say just any Beethoven. Okay. Dealer's choice. Dealer's choice.

Very close on the spelling. Yeah, I know. She knows it was close. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to need the two-hour one for this guy. Do you want me to start it in the middle? Yeah.

Wow. Are you guys going to start it like in the middle? Yeah, well. Are you guys going to Shen Yun? I guess which night are you going to is my question. Okay. And rant begins now. Okay, so here's my gripe about seatbelt. Alright? Okay, so

we get in the car, right? And we just ironed our dress, right? We just ironed our dress. And it took a long time because iron is crank-powered. Because it's old-fashioned. Because we're doing vintage now in our house. So we get a crank-powered iron.

And so with every stroke, you have to crank it up for at least like 15 20 minutes so it took it take the whole day to iron up this silk dress right and it's a different setting because it's silk and a lot of people don't know that so first you iron it and then you ruin the silk dress you have to go out and you have to get a different silk dress so you get your new silk dress now you know how to iron it and you keep, but then after everything, you also just keep crumpling it back up because it looks like tissue. And so it's finally, you've ironed your silk dress for your big event and you put your silk dress on and you get in the car and then legal, you have to put it on. You have to put on seatbelt. Okay. And,

and here's the thing about seatbelt is seatbelt is tight. By design, a seatbelt is tight. And what is that, okay? Because you're wearing your silk dress and you want it to look nice because you're going to an event. The event that you're going to is maybe, who knows, maybe like an industry event.

Like maybe you're going to like an award, for example. And like that is something that happens all the time here in Los Angeles. For the listeners at home who maybe are not here in Los Angeles, there's a lot of award events. We've talked about that.

Yeah, so I'm talking about it now. So I actually am new to the show, and I haven't talked about award before. I'm just telling you because we've done award. Okay. All right, well, you actually destroyed my flow, so I should probably start over from the beginning. Okay, start over. Okay, start it over.

Okay, so you're at your house, and you're ironing dress, right? And you've got a crank-powered iron, and you have your crank-powered iron, and you're having trouble with your hand crank-powered iron because it takes like 15, 20 minutes to juice up the crank-powered iron, and then you get inside your big car, and now your car is big in this story, and your car is big, and you're small. And when you drive the car, you flop around everywhere because the car is so big and you're so small. There's so much space in a big car. And the seatbelt is difficult because it is in the shape of triangle.

And let's say you don't like triangle. Maybe you want circle. So you try to get circle seatbelt, and you can't find that anywhere. It's not on the market yet, except for in Teslala but you can't afford tesla if that makes sense because because it all must make tesla cost like at least three thousand dollar and you just don't have that yet and you get inside the car and you put the triangle on sorry i hate to have you start start over again but but I just feel like I missed part of it okay so

so you're in your you're in your okay so okay so you're in your apartment right and you get you look at your silk dress and then you're like okay so there's a wrinkle in my silk dress. It's been hanging and smashed between your stuff. It's really easy to get a wrinkle in a silk dress.

So you get your silk dress and you have your iron to iron it. And you know that the iron is crank powered. And that means that you have to spin the circle a lot. And a crank is a simple machine. For those of you who don't know a simple machine. So we've got pulley, we've got ramp, and we've got crank. So you're using the simple machine. And when you're powering into a simple machine, you get tired.

So you take a lot of naps when you're making the iron for your dress. And you iron your dress, and then you get into your big car. So you're driving a U-Haul truck because you can't afford Tesla. And Tesla costs up to like 60 grand. But minimum, you're going to be spending at least $300 on a Tesla. And that is just not happening right now. Because you're actually spending a lot of money on other stuff to get ready for awards ceremony. Because women have to get their hair done.

They have to replace their old nails every time they paint their nails. And that takes a lot of time and a lot of money. And then, you know. Time's up. Time's up. So that's sort of what I think about seatbelt is that I don't like seatbelt. Mostly because we had a fling. I tried to stick the seatbelt inside myself and it didn't work out.

It's double rant. Yeah. So the seatbelt. I tried to stick a seatbelt inside myself and it didn't work out. It's double rant. Yeah. So the seatbelt. I tried to stick a seatbelt inside myself and it didn't work out. Yeah. And I'm actually not going to get into that in detail, but it didn't work out. And there's a little awkward tension inside the U-Haul. So now I don't like seatbelt.

And that's my personal thing with seatbelt. So I just hope when you're driving home today, if you're driving now, you're going to unbuckle that seatbelt. i just hope when you're driving home today if you're driving now you're gonna unbuckle that seatbelt that is so interesting so what the wheel landed on was seatbelt i don't even remember that being on the wheel i suggested it damn i totally forgot but she's right about some and i like thought about a lot of stuff I hadn't thought about before. It is a triangle. See, that's a triangle. I didn't know that you guys had history.

Yeah. But that, I mean, and you easily could have said, like, hey, you know, that one. You could have even, like, stopped the show. That one's a little bit too spicy. That one, for me, is me is like a little bit weird do they listen to this? I don't know and I did know

that there was awkward tension inside the U-Haul right and I did know that Tesla cost $300 but I had never heard that in this context yes

it was kind of a new frame for an old painting if that makes sense well sometimes yes it's interesting sometimes there's things that you know,

but you've never really thought about. Yeah. And so to be challenged in that way, just in terms of seatbelt, was pretty wild. Well, Hollywood's all about, like, taking paradigms and just, like, smashing. That's all.

Okay. Okay. Let's all. Okay. Okay. Let's spin the wheel. Sean again. Okay, well this will be quick. Get it on there and I just got to do some karaoke. Okay, let's spin. Mitra's available for next week.

Okay. So hang on, let me find, is there some way for me to send you the song that I want to do? You could email me. Okay. Or to Kevin, yeah. Kevin, hang on.

I'm going to send you the song. And in the meantime, if you want to rant about seatbelts. Okay. So here's another gripe about seatbelts that I forgot to mention. Is that seatbelts look a lot like noodle. And I think they can all agree about that. Yes. So when you get in your car and you're so hungry, right?

Like you haven't eaten in a few days because you just haven't. And then you get in your car and you see a seatbelt that look like noodle. And then you try to eat seatbelt and then it keeps going into the car. You try to suck it up in one slurp. You try to suck it up in one slurp. You try to suck it up in one slurp to prove something that you can. Because everybody says you can't, Hayes. They say I can't? They say you can't suck up spaghetti noodle in one slurp.

So you try to suck it up, right? And then it's attached to the inside of the car, so you've got to go inside the car. That was good. It's scary in there. Yes, that was good to fill the time in. Are we ready now? I think so. Okay.

Maybe it's the second one. Those both look good. All right. Juice it. Bump it up. Okay. Here we go. It has started. I only know the chorus.

Okay, here we go. Here we go. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Okay, here we go. Here we go. I don't want to do anything other than Wednesday. That's all I got next week. I am Mitra and my schedule's tight and I don't have anything but Wednesday. I am tired of trying to do other days that aren't Wednesday.

Yeah, next week. I don't want to be anything other than doing this podcast next week on Wednesday. So that is my rant for that one. on Wednesday. So that is my rant for that one. There was so much lead up to it, but I think it really paid off. I could see the time spent in the lab.

What that was for. Okay, so now it's just me and Kevin. Am I booked? Yes. Apparently you gotta do Wednesday. Yes. Okay, spin it. The

Haze Man. Uh-oh. Now you're really gonna find out what a rant tastes like. Yes. I have to rant about the rant wheel great you get to rant about oh god that's such a good one uh okay i'm texting you and while we find the song maybe just a quick uh rant about seatbelt okay so another thing i want to say about seatbelts is um where's my music why the click noise um when they click into the other thing the like it make a noise and why not sing a song right why not do something interesting

like it like the iphone text noise when you buckle in okay keep going like and there's so many options okay so like let's say that you don't want the iPhone text noise. Maybe you can customize it to say, Hello, good job. Thank you for buckling into your seatbelt. Good job, yes. Or it could say, Maybe it teaches you a new word in a foreign language

every time you buckle into your seatbelt. So then you're getting smarter when you're in your car instead of dumber. Or maybe it helps you, Maybe it automatically honks your horn for you, for attention. Hayes, what are you doing over there? I'm getting ready to sing. Oh, yes, this rocks.

I hate getting dumber in my car. Thank you so much for pointing that out. And also, it's not even a belt you can wear outside. I'm ready now. Okay, that is probably the biggest problem I have with it. Seat belt. Yeah, not exactly holding my pants up, seat belt. Yeah.

And I can't, yeah. Every time I get out of the car, my pants aren't on anymore. They fall down. They fall down. Kevin text me last night Ask me what I wanna do with me truck tomorrow Sean replies after a half an hour He says no idea Sean replies after a half an hour. He says, no idea. No idea.

Wow. Yes. Okay. Whoa. Let's just do the freaking red wheel. Whoa. We have no ideas for a show. Whoa.

Don't want to do show anymore. Whoa. Don't wanna do show anymore Whoa It's time to end the show Don't really feel like a rant about the rant wheel. Well, to me what it was is a rant about the concept of doing the rant wheel. Yeah, okay. We didn't really have any other ideas. Yes. And it was just something that I had done with Mitra before.

Yep. So I guess it's more the rant wheel me, what it represents is us being totally out of ideas. Yeah. It was a crime of opportunity doing the rant wheel. Right. So now does that- Just the convenience.

Now does that make sense? Now I'm starting to be able to piece together. And that's what's nice about the rant sometimes is that there's really trident layers to them, isn't there? Yes. And I also didn't want to rant it too much because this is our concept now that we own. We have to keep doing it. So I don't want to fully

ether it in the first episode. Yes. Right? Like Maitre did with Seatbelt. Now people will die. And that's cool. Power and influence and also just like there's too much of us and now there will be less.

This is population control. Thanos. Theranos. Thanos, Tweetra. Yeah, Thor. Spin the wheel, please. X me. And spin the wheel. Yeah. Spin the wheel, please. Cut. X me. And spin the

wheel. X Hayes. Spin. Apply. And spin. It's Kevin! Okay, and we'll go out on Kevin's rant.

Okay, I'm just going to leave rant wheel in here so it goes faster. She thinks the wheel will go faster with fewer things on it. Oh, what a great lucky one. Okay, and Kevin gets the bottom row of Mitra's teeth. Do you want a second to kind of like... Yeah. To study? Oh boy, good luck attacking that.

Okay. There's no weaknesses. Be brutal. I've got a thick skin. She genuinely wants notes. I want to go home with hurt feelings. She genuinely wants to make it better. I'm trying You wake up late for school and you don't brush your teeth Oh my god, this is brutal

You ask your mom please but she still says brush your teeth again You miss two classes cause you didn't brush your teeth. But your teacher preaches class like you really need to brush your teeth. You gotta brush your teeth and party. Okay. Okay. The top teeth look pretty good. But those bottom teeth look like a piece of wood. Oh, no. Come on.

Devin, living at home is such a problem. Living at home is such a problem. Because your teeth need a little work in the bottom area. It's a problem. Busted. You got to brush your teeth. Specifically the bottom area. That's it. Thank you.

I need something better to go out on, Kevin. You have to keep going. Sorry. You got a brush. So you have some real time to think about it, but I really need like a really either super mean or like just a really good line to get out on.

You have a cavity and we didn't discuss it. But I'm here and sorry, Mitra. It's going to hurt. Okay. Still not there. I'm going to rip it out. That's right. Doctor's in.

And on the second song, we're going to attack that chin. Whoa. She didn't offer that. You got to brush your teeth and address the cavity. What's wrong with my chin? Oh, no, Kevin. you got a brush your teeth and floss the bottom ones Gums are bleeding.

We need to talk about that too. Okay, we're not going to get it. Bye. Hollywood Handbook.