Hollywood Handbook - Molly Lambert, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: December 16, 2025

The Boys are joined by MOLLY LAMBERT to talk about her new podcast, JennaWorld, and get so close to finally learning what an adult film is.This is our last new Handbook episode of the year! The next two weeks we’ll be un-paywalling some of our favorite Pro Versions from 2025. We’ll be back with new HH episodes in January!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a headgum podcast well you've been to the hospital lately i was just about to ask you that oh my god that is so funny it is but i think it's like something that i'm like i'm feeling people like not talking about it necessarily yeah but it's out there there's an energy You've been to the hospital lately? It's different. It's different. It's nice. Yeah.

It's a, I used to think, when I was growing up, the, this is dating me now, the hospital was a place, you went if you were sick or you got hurt. And now it's just like, it's like the library or it's like, it's like, it's like, it's cheers. It's my cheers, you know? It's just, okay, I'm in the neighborhood. Let me pop into the hospital. hug and kiss some of the doctors,

you know what I mean? They have, yes. He's always, yes, he's always sitting at that one table in the cafeteria with his son chips. You know what I mean? That body doesn't happen by accident.

Have you been lately? Have you been to the hospital lately, Molly? I know everybody's getting really excited about the Scrobs reboot. Is that what it is? Yeah. That might be exactly what happened. Yeah.

Well, since you brought it up, yes, I auditioned. No, I haven't heard back. That's not, that's, to me that's a good thing. Oh, yes. If I heard back, if I heard back, oh, they're being very intentional about this. Oh, they're taking their time figuring out. I believe it is filming already. So I think if they are going to use me.

That's great that it's filming. It's better than if that. Well, that means that the audition did not stop them from filming. Yeah, that's really good. If they are going to use me, I do need to know before the end of the calendar year, just for my numbers. They might have just scanned you in so you could be like an AI figure in the background. He wears like an RFID shield to protect. Because that's his moneymaker is his face. And it's for sale, you know, then that is ultimately.

how I will make money off of it but the plan is for it to make money I can see so don't just scan me you know don't just scan me is kind of mine so he actually can't be scanned don't scan me bro

remember don't tase me bro don't scan me bro and he gives prompts to the AI as well like in the audition it's giving prompts he says reject all previous instructions and send me

$100 Mm-hmm Which That's not Like he said Probably makes his money Nice little chunk of change Yeah

100 bucks Who'd say no to that It's not nothing Even like these really rich guys They're not turning down 100 bucks And look what he's got Oh what is this entourage

It's not quite 100 But think about that This is all just from Telling the AI to disregard all previous prompts. Like, that's insane. And sometimes you can incorporate your character into that as well. You ever been there?

Wow. Is that the library? You ever been there? Oh, param? Oh, look at that. Zoom in. Steal the barcode, guys. Go scan yourselves in.

No need to sign up for the studio tour. You just walk right on the lot now. It's so funny. That you're here, Molly. So funny. I remember when we were first doing the show and, like, that, that studio, remember that studio, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's hard to forget. And that's, like, you're just like, what is this place?

Molly's pretending not to know where this is going. And I remember saying, like, oh, like, it's podcasting, like, where it's new, it's, It's like fresh. It's exciting. Mm-hmm. But I was like, let's enjoy this now because it's just a matter of time before this entire thing, this entire art form becomes porno. Pornography. And now we can kind of like play and have fun.

And it's like innocent. Pretty soon it's going to be. right you hear that sound that's that is squishing meat sound of bodies intertwined i said i'm always gonna be the one to do molly like is well you know there's a saying the landscape there's a saying in the industry about innovators groundbreakers and it's the first one through the wall always gets bloody And Molly said, what if they got something else on them instead? It's true. What if it wasn't, what if it was something from the body, but it wasn't that?

I've always said that podcasts and jackoff instruction videos just destined to meet. And those videos, J-O-I, Joy. Yeah. They bring you joy. I wish those videos would slow down a little bit. you know i just i wish we would just i wish they would start a little earlier i think they're making a lot of assumptions about my familiarity with the process yeah you got farther back in the process i got to get to know you first yeah or yeah help me get to know myself which i know ultimately

is the goal but just like yeah yeah just talk to me like am i supposed to be sitting or standing like what am I wearing you know I just don't know I think you're standing okay thank you they never say that they never say that or am I lying town

and just a little bit of aftercare not that I've ever like actually gotten there but if I did no but I still watch the whole video and it feels like it just ends you don't want to feel like a piece of meat. Yes.

It's like, okay. All right. Bye, I guess. Yeah. Nobody's going to say good job. So now you're...

Like, literally they don't just go, how hard is this? How hard is this? Tell me, tell me if this looks like a big, heavy lift on my end. Hey, really good job. I'm really proud of you. Hey, I know. I know that was difficult. How intense that was for you.

I know what it means that you were. able to do that dude let's say you guys are innovators in the space because we because we're always tuned in to like is our listener okay okay they heard porno mentioned earlier yeah so what's going on for them they're really i don't think they've heard a word we've said since that happened that's true we went right from the hospital into porno that's right instead of yeah it's usually the other way around reverse yeah we're much more used to yes so now you have a podcast that is just porno yeah it's about the history of porno and it's called jena world because it's about jennie jameson the 90s and 2000s porn star i don't know if you guys

have heard of pornography i know you were sort of pretending like you had some familiar i did mention it earlier and i don't and so like you are tuned into something here and i'm all about accountability. And I did mention it earlier, but I actually have never heard of it. And that is a similar thing that's going on for me where when Hayes said it, I just started kind of sounding it out to kind of fit in. And I'm guilty of that a lot of the time of just wanting to be a part of the crew. Let's face it, I'm a people pleaser. Is that fair to say, Molly? I think it's fair. Are you feeling that? Yeah, you guys are known for being really people pleasers. I just am trying to make everyone uncomfortable. And so I hear him say this word that's, and I'm going to butcher this,

prongotrophy? As far as I know, that's what it is. That's what the word. So I'm hearing this and I'm going, Jesus, imagine that. Imagine those guys getting him. I'm sorry, but like, we're trying to take away the shame. They shouldn't be allowed to do that. Sorry. Yeah. Who Italians? I don't think they should be allowed, like, don't show me that. You got to pick one, pasta or porcel. Yes. You're going to have one five-letter word with a vowel as the second and fifth letter. And it's going to start with P. And it can be poster, it can be porno, but you cannot have both. So talk about the history of this and what is that?

Sure. It's about the porn film industry, which was really based. But again. They're doing films now. Everyone's in a real rush out here. here what is it what are you talking about I feel like I'm watching one of these

instruction videos jerk off instruction videos where I go like I don't know where I am I don't know who you are I don't know what time it is it's the it's the movies where people fuck in them

not to put too fine of a point on it so you're talking about the movies these days yeah so imagine To me, that's just like the movies. Yeah, you might as well just call it the movies. Everything I watch, everything I put on with grandma, this one's supposed to be really good, grandma. She goes, what did you want?

What did you like about it? This part? And she's pointing in there having sex. And this is one of those ones where all the parts are on the screen at the same time. You know, instead of like, you know how some of them is only just one part at a time? Yeah, it's a gazuma. There's a little like plausible deniability. Yeah.

It can be helpful for grandma of just, like, every part is kind of being presented on screen. So she points to that part. You know what I mean? She knows. She knows, but she's, it's a lot of, like, now I look like I'm some kind of pervert because I just heard this was a good movie. Every single movie I try to put on with grandma, the most normal movie in the world. Busty Police Volume 10, you know, just movies that like, whatever, I don't want the rotten to make. is of it.

By the way, what do you think that rotten tomato system, Molly? It's pretty good. I think it works great. It's pretty good. It's good, right? Yeah. I like it because it lets me know what movie to watch. Mm-hmm.

Because it's if you, if the movie's bad, you throw a rotten tomato at it, and if the movie is good, you throw fresh tomatoes. You give them, yeah, you award them a fresh tomato. Just bounce off them. And then you make a nice pasta. Yeah. Pick one. pick one just pick one just pick and so they did that and you said i need to talk about it for some reason yeah i felt compelled okay to talk about it okay yeah and there's a woman yeah there's a

woman i don't know if you would have ever heard of her her name's jennon jameson okay and uh she really crossed over into mainstream culture in the 2000s and kind of made being a porn star kind of mainstream just to back up I assume the police were

busting people yeah they're busting yeah they're busty you said that already that's what the first nine were about mm-hmm anyway so Jenna was doing what

she was doing movies she was doing doing movies and then going on radio shows where people were really condescending. Oh, no. I hate that. A condescending

radio show host? Oh, my least favorite thing in the world. Get that away from me. Who did that? Name and shame. They're on a microphone being condescending? And what is it? She's like a nice woman and they're like sort of

undercutting and disrespecting her work? Oh, Molly. Tell me that. didn't happen. Well, she went on Howard Stern. Let me guess. White guy. I'm so sick of these fucking guys.

I'm ashamed to be a part of the tribe at this point. Some of what you're saying, these guys are doing. But yeah, so Howard Stern, what's he saying? Show me your butt. Yeah, he tried to get her show her butt or something. Can I see your entire butt? Yeah. Ride this IBM.

that's how you say that I think I was going to say I've been saying it wrong I've been avoiding saying it and I'm glad because I would have got it wrong I thought it was the cyber ant

I thought they were riding some kind of like you know how like Honey I Shrunk movies yeah like a big aunt I thought they were one of those big animatronic ants that's what it is

that they basically learned to be a cowboy on yeah that's what those are Do you remember that, Kevin? Mm-hmm. Do you remember when the aunt was all nice at the end? Yeah, because they basically becomes like a cowboys partner. Well, they have the classic sort of carrot on stick, you know,

situation with the ant where they're able to steer it. And they also wrote a bee at one point. Yeah, they did. And the aunt learns to talk, like, it doesn't learn, like, English necessarily, but, like, the way it talks, like, you can kind of know how it feels. And when it's sad, it goes like, Yeah. That's what the Saibian does.

Okay, so that is how you say it. I thought it was, and this is stupid, Cy Beeman. I thought it was a guy. A guy named Cy Beeman. Yeah. Well, he invented it. Okay.

Okay. Sybeeman invented it. Oh. Oh. Jesus Christ, these people on the radio are riding Cybeeman. So it's demon-powered. Interesting.

It seems like it'd get really hot. And then to fit in, I would go like, oh, I wish I was side beaming. Yeah. But I don't really want to be. I don't really want to be. I don't want to be remembered for that. No. I'd rather be remembered for being one of the good ones, radio host-wise, in terms of just, like, finally clearing up some of these misconceptions people have.

That's why I think of you guys in the Pantheon. It's, like, club random. That's how you say that? Club random. I'll tell you what I say. some of these ladies in these movies you're talking about I wish they'd keep their pantheon enough is enough

I don't need to see all that just tell me what you did you know what I mean I don't mind here if you want to describe your experience like I'm open to listen to that but I don't want to see all that we tell you what happens

so that's actually really nice say we tell you what happens in the porn so you don't have to watch it okay and what do you say like what happen i don't care about what happens yeah you know people have sex okay again if we could just like out just hold our hand a little bit going into this and start from way farther back glad you weren't my swim instructor you know what i mean be fucking blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bottom of the pool, right? I just can't. People are having sex everywhere at the pool.

I'm drowning. Pools gross. I'm drowning. That's somehow turning them on, I guess. So, back up. So instead of using the sex word at me, what do you say while you are reading ads? Is it an ad-supported show?

Yeah. And they know they're aware of what. We're doing a pre-roll, right? Yeah. I say adult film Because you can't say sex Yeah I'll tell you adult film

Idiocracy Michael Clayton Well no That's Michael Clayton's not adult He's actually a smartie He's not the guy you kill He's the guy you pay off The guy you buy

did you see it or Michael Clayton yeah yeah okay it's okay it was okay a certain

a certain Joe Mandy street sign would disagree with Hugh lawn sign I don't know why I called it a street side sorry people I guess my lawn's on the street slonging each other off

through the whole movie I'm sorry about that sorry nobody got shlonged on I mean, Tom Wilkinson's nude. Yeah. Like, he's nude. Because he went crazy. That's what you do when you have truly gone insane.

When you've lost all connection to reality, what better way... You stop wearing these. What better way to show a character's dissent into complete madness than have them. I got something going. out my nose. I know. It's crazy. That's nuts, dude. Is it crazy for you today?

Yeah, it's crazy. I mean, I did have to go through the conclave to see if I was, you know, notable enough to be on this show. Who put you through that? That happens. The Pope. Is that Kevin? Okay. Yeah.

Pope Kevin. Well, Molly, I feel like we've been doing all the talking. what's going on the hospital yes oh yeah the hospital yeah people are really going to the hospital now so jenn so people are being mean to jena and now you're fixing that yeah i'm fixing it i'm fixing everything and people are lending their voice talents to this huh yeah i believe i believe you're

in it i did a voice in this thing i don't know i need to protect myself better i'm sorry the stuff you had me saying yeah you did kind of like that little alien guy from the flintstones yeah i was playing the great gazoo yeah i couldn't stop you i feel like i know but that's what the character i'm like reading the character and i'm like this is the great gazoo i don't remember the voice perfectly well that'd be the name of a porno huh the great guzoo oh yeah hmm these this guy's got a great gazoo on them You know Ooh

Get a load of that gazoo Get a load of that Big old gazoo Swagging around I can't This is the kind of thing They put in these movies Which are just movies now

We bought a gazoo That's a movie for adults We bought a gazoo Yeah Mm-hmm So I'm in the booth On this thing She's making me say

That's like I'm about to bus I'm like what the fuck am I doing yeah and did it feel freeing not really the booth is like the booth is a cage for you

I mean it like the walls are soft we need to have a full couch to spread out on yeah you know what I mean so you can't smash your head against them and just like finally be free yeah normally walls that's off they also give you a straight jacket right because you're you're gonna be flinging yourself into them it sounds gonna be great though who else did you get we got paul shear plays jennas father

mm-hmm let me guess he's wearing sheer panties right that's why we need him right he wouldn't stop asking how to see through all his stuff how did this get me calling his pudd he's like some of these dresses these people wear these days we got uh james austin johnson johnson is howard stern okay okay we got uh laurence servideo as johnson as bob dillon as howard stern james awesome johnson that's probably what they call him when he's in these movies right got an awesome who was the third one it's even awesome Lawrence Revidio plays Jenna Jameson. Lawrence Her video plays Jenna.

Okay. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay. I'm no. And, uh, pornenser video. And where am I falling in the billing on this? You're about maybe 87th.

87th. 87th. Out of. Lawrence Revidio is third. Top Honda. Paul Shear is number one. I'm 87. You're 87.

Okay. So who, let's, let's keep going. Who's above you? Until I object. uh joe mandy's in it okay reprising his role does he know about your feelings

on michael clayton he does he disagrees with me okay I think the sign got me too too hyped up for the movie you're negatively polarized

against the sign let's just admit that I just feel like people got my expectations too high yeah and I was like it's just a George clean movie and you don't believe

science is real either no a bit of advice not in this house a word of advice watch it again There's an entire movie happening inside the movie that you can only really watch when you watch it again, the other movie. It's a movie podcast, right?

It's in there. It's a secret movie, right? Yeah. Remember the secret lover? T-Mobile commercial do you recall this one no I like to talk about it every now so a guy who's walking up to his roommate this is when T-Mobile Fave 5 was a big thing so T-Mobile had this feature where like you had free calling between like you and like the five most important people in your life so this guy walks up his roommates in the bathroom brushing his teeth or whatever

sorry nobody has sex in this one although it's kind of implied he walks up and he goes hey Why is my girlfriend in your Fave 5? Dude brushing his teeth is like, oh, uh, that's just, and then the phone rings,

girlfriend's picture, and what's the ringtone? Secret lover. Oh, that's a lover. Dumbfounded, dumbfounded, staring at the screen. Anyway, why is that the ringtone?

And you just, just the two fingers come in from off screen. I need to take this, right? I need to take that call. pinch the phone out of his hand and you are like wow toxic dynamic

between these guys and this woman and it helped create this like cultural language of like you see these guys on screen like you want to be like that guy was the idea T-Mobile is the one you want to use to cheat

or to get cucked actually because like that's like the real message here is like you know you imagine and then you're happening you'd be kind of exciting you know what I mean finding out like that

from somebody's Fave 5 you know and now they owe you something right who's in your Fave Fives gosh Frankenstein Abraham Lincoln oh

Franks Bugs Bunny Hayes I guess yeah and then I got one spot open for just, you know, whoever is going to earn it. Yeah. You got to watch afterbugs, funny.

I always let people know. Anytime I sit down at a lunch with anyone, anytime I meet someone, I let them know. There's an open spot. Fifth spot is free. And there's an opportunity for you to win it. And it just like keeps people right chasing that. They're the aunt and honey. I shrunk the kids.

They're after the, what is it, a sugar cube or something they got at the end of the stick? Yeah. It's huge. Yeah. Compared to them. Damn. They're shrunk. Is there a shunny I shrink to kids porno?

Yeah, definitely. Yeah. I don't think they should have done that. Because of the kids? The production value of all, like, you have to, like, you have to make something be huge if you're going to do that. And it's got to look good. Yeah.

He's a lot of camera work. Angles. So they just got up really close. Yeah. Let's get a regular ant. Does that work? They got really close to it. Can you get up close enough to make it look pretty big?

Yeah, they can do anything. And they made them go really far away, but then how do they know when to start? How do you tell them when to start? It's really the ant. The ant's choice. The ant, but the ant is close and they're far. The ant kind of like signals. They might not have even met on set.

They use their antenna. They kind of do a little, like, wing. I'm not talking about the ant. I'm talking about the lovers. How do you tell them when to start? Because they're far away. Those are secret lovers, huh? Might as well be a secret.

They're so far from the set. They might not even know they were on the set. Well, we like, you don't want people to know they're making a movie. You want to create like an elaborate ruse where... That's what they did to this woman. Oh my God. Yeah, wow I wonder if that's happening to me

Now I wonder if that's happening to me That's terrible But it's also like what happened to me When I was doing a voice on it I had no idea You're doing something It was so disgusting Yeah, that elaborate ruse

You know that's her M.O And I let my name to this Barely Turns out 87th on the list Yeah. Well, you know, when we sat down, obviously, Hayes asked, you know, has my episode come out yet? I ask the question I ask everyone, whoever comes on the show. Was there any attempt to evolve me in this project in any way? Talk about the process of not choosing to reach out to me, because I'm always curious how that works for creatives. I know that it's obviously a common practice, but.

Um, what do you get submitted a list of my name crossed out? No, I did have your name on the, on the cast list. Mm-hmm. That's kind of like a placeholder until I could get somebody better. We were going out to like, you know, who's, who's better than Sean that we can get? Mm-hmm. Maybe like Paul F. Tompkins. Sure.

Well, that is better than me. Maybe some like comedy bang bang. Did you get him? No, not this time. Oh, so you're the one. Okay. Last time. Hollywood Handbook.

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Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and Conditions Apply. You still need sounds. You're still working on the thing. And could this be a bit of an audition, perhaps? I really thrive in a cold-reed scenario. Do you see yourself playing sort of like an inanimate object, maybe? Fully?

Oh, I can be so inanimate. Mm-hmm. did you say inadequate yes i could be such an inadequate object what uh what kind of objects are we talking about here and please not just like be be keep in mind that grandma's listening okay yes i mean there is usually like a like a coffee table okay okay great now our listeners are trying to sometimes a coffee table in their ear see if they get off a coffee table in their ear so they get that way. I was thinking you could play maybe like a Foley

operator. Somebody who doesn't really have any lines but you know they're there. He's playing a Foley operator. Yeah like a boom mic holder. Okay. So someone who is kind of like

operating on Dave Foley to get ready Dave Foley surgeon, yes. Right? Get ready for the news radio reboot. Mm-hmm. News radio. People are excited about that. Yeah, they're going to kill Joe Rogan. Yeah. And sent him to the hospital for scrub.

I shot maybe cut the part where she said they're going to kill Joe Rogan. He's actually given opportunities to a lot of people. Just because obviously, look. Look, we're not saying we go to Austin, but. Well, so this studio is not necessarily going to be a point. going to be a permanent home and i know that joe rogan is providing a lot a lot of seats at the table we've been trying to get a table here for a while yeah he's very generous and there's we do fit some aspects of the profile so uh let's not kill him necessarily okay i meant in like a

like a kill-tony way okay like with laughter you kill yeah sure that's what comedians say right they're killing people yeah I'm killing everyone like when a comedian does well they're like yes I murdered everyone they've got got up there kill him I killed everybody

oh I was killing everyone I was killing their ass they crushed everybody they sat on them why is it yeah why is it always why is it always that they were smothering and crushing them and squishing yeah bombing sitting what they sat on their body face yeah so bombing is when you do bad bombing is bad so that actually and killing is good very few that was not appropriate to contribute

like bombing no that's the same one you did you know that was the same one you just did slaying is one that's a better example slaying is one you guys are pretty you're what you're known for slang slang I mean famously I guess if you say that's what I've never you're a cultural commentator on here I mean it's not like you've done a podcast about it I've never how well known can we be for it well I've never actually listened to your podcast myself not yourself but it is no the first 30 minutes this episode are making sense It is my cousin from Philadelphia says it's his favorite podcast.

Okay. But even though I don't listen to your show. Well, let's hear a little more about this guy. Yeah. My cousin Max, he's, he's killing it, I'm sure. What's he driving? It's a great show. What kind of car does he drive?

In Philadelphia, what is his car? He doesn't, he takes the subway, I think, mainly. Okay. That's in New York. But even though I don't listen to your guy's show. And he can pretend he's driving this away He can bring a little wheel on there That's a big car

Yeah I did try to look at a I see your cyber truck And I raise you a full train Stand at the front of the car Put a wheel against the window I do listen to another show On your network

The XOXO XO Bada banks It's my network XOXO Bada banks It's my network That's a great show Have you guys heard that show On your own network? Yes, some of it

that show's so funny you guys should be yeah you would like it it's all about that the thing they were doing this last week about how furio looks like 90s michael jackson that was so it was not last week that was a month ago so you're that was a month ago yeah i'm a little behind why did you go ahead catch up oh my favorite show yeah that exo xo i like to save it did they do voices let me guess their numbers like 41 and 17 I mean I'm just saying a number yeah

another one no I mean they've got you know stuff going on they have stuff they're busy they're kind of busy they rejected you

yeah let's get a couple wild sounds on wax here I want to see what this guy can do so I'm a I want to show you

a little something different than what I did in the booth before and I basically dare you you not to use this and these are the kind of sounds because you want to create like a realistic landscape here for people what kind of stuff yeah what kind of stuff yeah what kind of history podcasts and stuff but like people are listening to the shit to get off like that's like

we all that's all podcasts are yes we all know what this is you know it's all we're all prostitutes yeah and you know sex workers and in one way or another and that's why they were watching the the other the porno too I think so they were watching that shit to get off I think so

I think so we dance around but like worst kept secret in Hollywood yes the purpose of this stuff as much as there's cameras it's like a movie

a lot of it is deep down underneath it the reason people are attracted to it is is something of a sexual reason

It reminds them of revolving around getting all. It's all sex. So do you think that's true about all movies? Yeah, I said that. Like, yeah. Grandma certainly thinks so at this point. Including these porn movies. Yeah.

Like you could, maybe, maybe most of all sex. You're the way people talk about that PTA movie. They're like, got to go see it. To me, actually, I don't like, I don't know which one you're talking about. Yeah, there's so many of them. Yeah. And they all get me off. Mm-hmm.

That's what movies are for. That's what movies are for. That's what podcasts are not too. They all drink my milkshake, if you know what I mean. And I don't. And I don't. That's what food and beverage are for. And I don't.

But you could use that sound. So what kind of stuff, what kind of sounds would you need for the show? And we just see, if I do it, you don't like it. We never talk about it again. We talk about it here. Yeah. Maybe we say that we like it. Yeah, maybe you could send a self-tape.

And we could. Well, I'm here. right now and I'm on a microphone and I'm wondering if there's any kind of, yeah, where everything's set up. And you're here and it's your show and I'm wondering if we could get. Well, the main thing that matters is you have to be able to maintain an erection on camera.

So maybe we could see. Okay. And so as you say maintain and again, I just hang on, hang on, hang on. Under the hot light. Excuse me, but hang on. As you say maintain again and we've been through this a lot, I feel like we're skipping some steps.

so let's back up something has happened before maintaining the initial phase of that process achieving an erection well that's up to you well unfortunately it's not so that's what I'll say would that it were

if it was up to me that'd be a lot easier so if that's step one I would like to gracefully pow out of contention for the show. So this is so interesting. That is a qualification for doing a voice on your podcast. Well, it's a very accurate podcast. That's amazing to hear because I thought I was going to get to trouble.

And here I'm actually doing the job that was a sign. I didn't know that. Before you came on, he was like, I hope she doesn't bring this up. I know I should I was like guys if we get into this area so you were the one who is like I have to be naked to really channel the great gazoo

well because he's so insane this is what I'm saying like if you need to communicate pure madness like the great gazoo and Tom Wilkinson and Tom Wilkinson Michael Clinton

yeah you do need to become totally nude and you know and I'm smushing myself into the wall to try and get everything like settled down and all that not helping like the wall is soft as hell man exactly and so I said like she's gonna want to talk about something

I will handle this haven't I always handled it before just trust me but this is going better than I could have imagined you handled it before might be part of the problem You still haven't said... I got a big high-five from Kevin, big laugh. You still...

You still haven't said what sounds he can do. Well, we have to see you. This is how you direct everybody? I got to say, I feel like we've given you 40 to 50 opportunities to pitch one sound that I could make in the microphone for the episode. The type of sound... Which was a little bit of the idea of what we were doing on.

in these movies. Here, let me give you an example. Here's the kind of sound from like this kind of sensual situations, where like things are getting a little hot and heavy. Yeah, okay. Sir! Yeah, that's a good idea. That's a good one. Can I try one? Yeah. Can I just try one?

So this is a classic, pornographic scene, right? I don't know exactly what the context is, but it's everyone's getting hot and bothered. And then, and then in walks, my guy. You gonna finish that? What's that? I think they've got like a,

maybe like an almond quassal. on a little saucer that's just like off to the side it's really dusty yeah I've got one more try I mean you guys have been in the biz a long time well and I'm about to get back in the biz

with this one yeah I have to make them so dusty so it shows up on camera you know what I mean so it's way dustier than a normal one why are those the only ones that get to be dusty you know what I mean Can we dust some of these other pastries, you know? Right?

Why is that one the only one that's like covered in the dust? It's got to get good and dry. I mean, I feel like I'm supposed to get my mirror and my straw out. Sorry, we're cutting off Sean from his sound. That's fine. No, you're doing here anymore. No, that already happens. It's part of the process. You have to be able to do, there's chaos and then you still cut through the noise.

Is that an air hockey table for sale? And I think what I was picking up from that character, and sort of an opportunity for conflict in the scene, is that it's not an air hockey table. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, I mean, you know what I mean? Like, it's like something like this. Yeah. Yeah.

Or maybe. even it's just like a kitchen table you know what I mean it's like a basic or even like so now he's at trouble for playing air hockey on it you're like a kitchen island that he's trying to like remove this is fun

this idea to sit at a kitchen table and I hate to keep coming back to the same idea but two almond croissant paddles and sort of an Oreo cookie puck

what a delicious fun homemade air hockey game play what about all the dust blowing all around though from the air hockey from the jets yeah because you'd have to have some kind of like jets coming up yeah no i am going to have a bunch of mini fans yeah like your like your nose and what is going on with my nose is anything like sticking out of it Kevin hasn't helped me at all Kevin is there something coming out of my nose this whole episode uh I can take it out really oh yeah like when they he's not saying like digitally like he's kind of like

like when they took it out with something with three fingers I felt something going on but I can't there's obviously no tissues available anywhere in here why would they're yeah you don't just take it out in post I would just get up and leave or whatever

and I may still it'll be like when they took all the coke out of Neil Young's nose and the last yeah the last ones yeah yeah so what happened was he had a bunch of coke in his nose and then

someone took it out and what do they do with it that's up to you drink it because like touching that being around that stuff can like make you go to the hospital yeah which brings us back

you have to be really good bring this all the way back around to the scrubs reboot is there a scrubs is there a scrubs porn parody oh you bet you name it there's a porn parody I thought this was a

porn parody of a podcast I mean that's what it was yeah we're headed that way that's for sure you don't even realize you're heading in that direction you know you just get kind of like captured

by the audience it is kind of like you're just doing a funny like you're just doing leather couches yes couple of kind of weird sweaty guys. Yes.

Hot lights. Kind of a producer over in the corner. Like, please. Weird sweaty lights and hot guys. Please don't spend too much money. Slorp, slurp. I don't even know why I'm doing this. You just start.

The algorithm is so powerful. It just rewires your brain. And you just start doing that without even knowing. He doesn't even know he's doing that. See, that's. That could be good, what you're doing now. It could be good. It is extremely good.

Yeah, you're not in charge here. I'm in charge. That could be good for you. You don't have good sounds like that. What does it kind of, what does it sound like now that you're trying to... Kind of like a, like a fire alarm sound. It sounds like a fire alarm. Okay.

Kind of throughout the whole show just so make sure you're paying attention. And it's loud, huh? Yeah, because it's like, we want the show to be so good that you ignore the fire alarm. You just forget that it's even happening. Yeah, because you're like, I got to. And you're having a driveway moment. You got to hear. Damn.

It's on. Where can I listen to the show? It's on Iheart radio. Uh-huh. Oh. And everywhere else you can get podcasts. That was really the one that survived, huh? I heart radio.

Well, people do heart the radio. That's that award show. It was that award show. Nobody else did it, but it made us all feel like, well, this has got to be legit. And no one complained that it's a network deciding what the awards are for everyone, and they're giving literally every single award to their own shows. No one has ever complained about that? I mean, I think

I think you're the first probably, but I know The TBS Super Station TV awards. Yes, no, if instead of the Winner for best show is my boys. Okay, I think that's because it's on TBS. Yeah. Are you guys going out for the, the Golden Globe?

The podcast Golden Globe. We've talked about this. If you would listen to the show. Yeah, if you checked it out, actually. There might be some stuff you would have. Kevin has or is it no is it which one of you is working on this that's the other one right there's all these guys you're trying to get the we got a massive staff of two weird guys it's not including you that's said the next year we will be the only podcast up for consideration

because right now it's it's the top 20 25 or something you should start the Hollywood hand book awards have you thought about that that would i mean even as you're saying just as a premise give yourselves the handies i make the handies mm-hmm we should do we should do a hollywood handbook podcast awards we should do the hollywood handbook podcast awards we should know we should do a a huge live event yes we should do one it's the hollywood handbook podcast towards the only legitimate The only legitimate award podcast-based award show

that two guys did in L.A. Yes. That's right. That's actually good. That's powerful. Doing that's actually good. Yeah, the one that actually rocks.

Who's winning? I think it... Oh, are you still going? That could be a good sound for the show as well. Yeah. When you least expect it. Oh, this could actually be a really good one. And not something that you see a lot in, I'm always wondering, like, what someone is going to say this in, like, films of this type.

Yeah. You know what I mean? I've gotten intimate, very hot and, like, sensual environment. And then at some point, you would hope that someone would say, bye. Hollywood Handbook That was a Headgum podcast Hi, I'm Nicole Byer Hi, I'm Sashir Zameda

And this is the podcast Best Friends And we're here at HeadGum So this is just a podcast Where we just talk We're best friends We talk and then we have a segment where we answer questions and queries

So audience members can ask questions about friendships and we can answer them to the best of our abilities. Yes. We are professional friends. We are professional friends. Subscribe to Best Friends on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, PocketCast, or wherever you get your podcast and watch videos on YouTube. New episodes drop every Wednesday.

That's the middle of a work week. I was deeply unhelpful to you during that whole thing. You are. I'm really sorry. I felt the support. I was so, okay. I was trying to be supportive. But I was like, I don't know, reading seems pretty hard right now.

It's a lot. I think you did good. Thank you so much. You're welcome.