Hollywood Handbook - Moments of Greatness, Our Constant Companions

Episode Date: May 18, 2015

After their triumph over Comedy Bang Bang, the guys present a series of the best clips from the show in hopes of being poached by a new podcast network. Hayes and a very hungry Sean introduce each clip from New York with help from Engineer Rashid.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. story with that. He says, oh, I just use that to stir my coffee. And I say, well, that's, you know, that's too big for coffee stirring, what you're using. And the thing that you're using for sugar cubes is also not, it's not sweetening your coffee. It's just this kind of round, hard ball. You should use the coffee stirrer to hit the ball. And so that was how Ken Griffey Jr. invented the baseball bat. And, um, Hey, welcome to Hollywood handbook and insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet linebacker hallways of this industry. We call showbiz. Uh, I'm Hayes Davenport. I'm, I'm here with Sean Clements. We're, uh, we're in New York, uh, which, you know,

you know is a city that we love we love the pizza and uh the uh basketball and all the streets and um the boat uh we we we love new york we love being able to come here uh sean is here sean clements is here um say hi sean bonjour uh he uh he's eating what do you have there he's eating uh oh it looks like some kicks with uh with fresca instead of um milk oh no there's milk in there too um you're just gonna be eating that so he's you're he's very hungry and so he's gonna be a little bit uh quiet during the show but um every once in a while i'm sure he'll have something, and so he's going to be a little bit quiet during the show. But every once in a while, I'm sure he'll have something to say. Because we are recording in New York, we have a different engineer than usual. The sound might sound a little different for that reason. What is your name?

My name is Rashid Ramkasoon. Engineer Rashid is here. Okay. So do you know Engineer Cody? I don't know who Engineer Cody is. He's in your business as well. There's a lot of engineers in this business, so there's quite a few that I don't know. Well, Engineer Sam has a motorcycle.

Surely you know him. I guess I don't know Cody or Sam sam you don't know cody or sam okay well you work at this studio but what's the name of the studio name of the studio is dubway studios dubway dubway and that's what is that is that your mom's name or something um a lot of people say it's it's a very, actually, but it's not my mom's name. My mom is actually Deborah, so it's a coincidence it starts with a D as well. So it's like a mix between your mom and the subway. Is that sort of what you had in mind?

I guess that's the way you want to go, but yeah, it's Dubway Studios. Engineer Cody and the other engineers like to do things a certain way. Yeah. Do you guys spill water on the soundboard in this studio? That would be the worst thing that could possibly happen, so we don't do that, and we try to avoid it at all costs. Okay, and I notice you're not even drinking a beverage next to the soundboard in order to make it very easy for you to spill water on it why what's the what's the thinking behind that um i think there's many things behind that um i'm guessing you have a lot of if that ever happens then you have a lot of money to pay

for this equipment you don't ever want water near electronics or any one of those devices oh that's so interesting that's that's fascinating to hear uh what about while you're doing the show why aren't you watching like vice news or something of that nature on your personal computer while you're recording the show that's that seems like an odd choice to me. Don't you like Vice News? Vice News is very cool, but I think clients that we probably deal with wouldn't even like that. That's so interesting. Yeah, they probably would hate that. What if your clients pointed it out and you just ignore them and chose to continue watching Vice

News? Would that make you a bad engineer? I would pretty much be a bad engineer. That's so interesting. Maybe it's a cultural thing between New York and L.A. This episode of Hollywood Handbook is a little unusual, not just because I'm in New York and the sound is a little bit different. This episode is a best-of episode. We wanted to take some of the things that we enjoy most from the show

or this is actually stuff that a lot of our listeners recommended because when you're in it you don't know if it's good or bad. It's just like this is what you're doing. It's just talking with your friends. It's like is that good? That's funny. People love this. It's like their favorite show. It's the only thing people want to listen

to and they're obsessed with just me talking into a microphone it's crazy to me like you know imagine if that were happening to you engineer rashid would you you like how would you even handle that kind of celebrity everyone's always talking in the microphone or listening to someone on the microphone the whole time no you weren't paying attention to engineer rashid i'm just gonna i'm gonna keep going probably keep going sorry so this is a collection of the best stuff from the show because we were on Comedy Bang Bang yesterday. A lot of you know this.

Maybe some of you are listening because we were on Comedy Bang Bang. That's not really important to us. We don't care about getting listeners from the other show and keeping those listeners. That's just not what we're really about. What we care about is potentially our podcast being bought by another podcast network other than Earwolf. Now that we've been on Comedy Bang Bang, this relationship has potentially run its course. And so we're hoping potentially someone who represents another podcast network, maybe Showtime is trying to start a podcast network. You like show like Weeds, Dexter, stuff like that.

You like those shows. That would be a good podcast network to be affiliated with. Definitely. Maybe we could do a podcast with Dexter. That would be insane. Pretty crazy. Pretty crazy. What we have in mind with doing this clip show of our best ofs is hopefully someone will be listening to the show from one of those places who has the purchasing power to buy out our contracts and get us into a new studio. Because since the Comedy Bang Bang experience, I think we are done here.

There's nowhere for us to really go from here. So we do want to play some clips. This first clip is a real corker of a clip. It was a fun guest to have. Lauren Lapkus was on the show. We're not just playing a clip of hers because she's on Company Bang Bang and people like her from that.

Like I said, we don't care. This is a clip where we take calls some of the time on the show. We have friends of the show who work with us. Someone who is not our friend, but does work for us is our intern, intern Andy. He's a Rob Reiner son. And so this is us doing a version of our famous segment, the popcorn gallery, where we ask the guest the questions with our intern, Andy, doing the questions. And so now, can you just describe

what I just said back to me? Oh, man, that's... I don't think I can. All I heard was intern, and I heard Andy. It's a pop... The segment's called Popcorn Gallery. Okay. And the guest...

Yes. ...is from movies. Okay. Movies guest is from movies. Okay. Movies eat. Popcorn? Movies eat popcorn. Yes.

And so popcorn gallery, you know, peanut gallery. I don't know peanut gallery. People say peanut gallery. Yeah. Oh, talk to the peanut gallery. But peanuts is you eat peanuts at baseball. Oh, popcorn. Movies. eat peanuts at baseball. Oh. Popcorn. Movies?

Movies. There you go. Yes, you got it. Very good. So this is a clip of the popcorn gallery with Lauren Lapkus and our intern, Andy, Rob Reiner's son. Nice. Bing!

Enjoy the clip. Oh, it's the popcorn gallery. Enjoy the clip. Oh, it's the Popcorn Gallery. It's the song that means it's time to have our favorite segment, the Popcorn Gallery. Now, we asked questions to one of our guests, and we do not have any questions.

No, we did not get them, and it wasn't for lack of trying. No one wanted to ask me a question. You begged them. I didn't say that exactly. I just know that we usually do have questions. We could try. Do you want to try Intern Andy? Yes, let's call Intern Andy and see if he.

Because he's a fan of the show as well. He better be a fan of mine or I'm going to be mortified It's his job now to Help out with the show And I think this qualifies as helping out Rob Reiner's son I should call him Oh okay Cody's going to be helpful 925

330 1310 Please feel free to call. Please leave that in the show. He could get upwards of 50 phone calls. Cute ring. That's just a song Cody's working on. Hello?

Hey, Andy? Yeah. Andy, it's Hayes and Sean. And this is Sean from Hollywood Handbook. Don't interrupt me. Can you... I'm sorry. We just have a quick errand for you, okay?

Yeah, absolutely. What's going on? Are you at home? Uh-huh. Yes. Okay. We have Lauren Lapkus here. I'm sorry now i'm curious are you are you unsafe in your home in some way is there someone who doesn't want you to tell us if you're at home no no i'm

alone i'm everything yeah oh well then that really shouldn't have taken you that long go ahead we haze keep going. We have Lauren Lapkus here. We didn't get any questions for the popcorn gallery, so we just need you to come up with some good questions for her. We need you to get into the bag and find the popcorn question. Please, please, please, please. Hi.

Should I say shit? Okay. You can say hi. Hi, Lauren. Hi. I can say hi. Hi, Lauren. Hi. I enjoy your work. Thank you. Should I do the sound of the bag?

I guess we, yeah. We'll play it in studio. Well, we didn't do, we didn't prepare the sound drop either. Honestly, this feels really bad to me. I've got an old sound drop from a different show. And I'll just play that one and maybe it'll fit. Okay. Oh, it's my favorite novel.

Crank 2, high voltage. Oh, well, that does kind of play into the theme of the show. That was good. Because we've been talking about book versions of movies we like. Yes. And how the book a lot of times is better. I had a sound thing I could throw in if you guys wanted on my phone here. That sounds great.

You wanted to hear it? It's a sound of something being pulled out of a popcorn bag or is it something else? No, it is. Oh, that sounds great. Yes. Thank you. Let me just get it. And that's the way the cookie crumbles. See, I feel like that kind of worked.

That sounds like actually a really nice girl for Mark, the guy who does our sound drops. Yes, my friend Mark from The Nice Girl. Who does those sound drops for you? Oh, that's a girl named Liz. That's Liz? Yeah. And what's your relationship with her? I just hire her from Craigslist to do sound drops.

Oh, that could be great for Mark. That sounds really good for him. No fuss, no muss. And that might improve the drops a little bit. The drops, which, let's face it, have really fallen off a cliff. You still there, Andy? Yeah, yeah. This is great.

I'm getting like a live version of the show. Andy, you got any books you like that was also movies? Let me think. What was a good one?

The James Bond books, those became movies. Some of those are cool. I don't know. I feel like we're speaking a different language there hombre uh why don't you go ahead lay lay a lay a hot question on uh

lady lapgus okay um here here's something that uh like do you and your significant other, do you ever do anything, like, funny to, like, annoy each other, like, playfully? Like, do you have any inside jokes with each other or anything? Yeah, what we think is fun is we'll make each other, we'll drop something, and then we'll bend over and fart in each other's ear. Over and over and over and over until someone poos. You'll do it to each other.

Back and forth. So it's not like a, it's not a prank. Well, because you know it's going to happen. Like once the first person does it and the other person does it back, even twice I would think you now know and you have agreed to be in it It's on That is pretty inside What is that like a reference to?

It's a reference to Dumb and Dumber When that guy gets diarrhea in the bathroom Okay yeah that's right In a way every fart is sort of a reference We're always referencing that scene Well that was the original fart. Yeah. Before that, we were all just tooting.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, it was when toots became farts. Andy, when you ask a pervert question, you get a pervert answer. And I just think the way you laid it out with the whole, like, you and your significant other in your home pranking each other. It was very probing, the way you did it. It needed to feel invasive, and I think that's what it was. Just kind of like massaging the question as you were asking it

was very disgusting. So that's why you got the answer you did. Do you want to try one more time? Okay. Hang on. Liz got to go back into the bag. Yeah, does Liz have any more? Oh, yeah, I have another one.

Oh, great. It still has to be popcorn related? I have more of those. Yes. Okay. How did my cell phone get in this popcorn? See, that is the kind of stuff we used to have that we don't have anymore he's never pulling anything out of the popcorn bag anymore it's always well this time he did

pull out that book but a lot of times it's not that it's it's very it's lazily referential to what just happened in the show it feels like he's not trying well i got another old drop and maybe this will be an example the kind of thing you were talking about. Button. Vote Dukakis. Okay, well that drop was maybe a little too old. That was really old. Oh, okay, so at the time, it wasn't recent enough to be

a funny old reference. I think it was lazily referential at the time and just happened to be... Election night. Yes, it was lazily referential at the time and just happened to be election night. Yes, it was November 2nd. That sounds like Mark. Yeah. Andy, do you have another question?

Yeah, Lauren, do you like superhero movies? I don't really due to the fact that I think they're boring. Okay, alright, alright She's having a joke on You gotta give them the real answer, Lauren

I love them to death If I could marry a superhero I'd pick Batman And I dream about that every night When I masturbate You could be so rich Yes And live in that big empty haunted house

It's not haunted, dude. A little bat lives in it. And now, Andy, why are all your questions about Lauren significant others and, like, marrying somebody? It just feels like... And you're masturbating as well. You're dancing around something. Why did you make me talk about that?

What is the end game here? Yeah, what's the plan? I don't know. I'm home alone. I guess that's just maybe the mood I'm in right now. Can I ask you a question? Yeah, please. What's your favorite part of Home Alone, the movie,

as you're living it now in your house? The part of the movie? The part of the movie that you're living right now or which part of the book that you read before. I like the part where he goes, Buzz, your girlfriend. And more girl stuff. You're horny.

Yeah, it's all girlfriends and relationships. Off the charts tonight. And I don't want to be vulgar, but I would ask that you sort of exercise these demons before you get on the phone with us and whatever that means for you. Yeah, man. Yeah, when you see the phone ring with us on it, just kind of get started. Get a head start.

Because by the time we really get into the meat of this, we're going to need you to have that out of your system, so speak can i ask andy another question yes lauren's gonna ask you another question now okay if you were pranking someone what food would you use for the prank um you know like maybe like some pudding or something like something that's like you know like dump it on their head. And see, now knowing that you're in a sexual mood and that this is something you associate with a sex act is maybe the most horrifying thing of all. It would normally be a very good answer because, yes, dump it on someone's head, that's hysterical. And I'm picturing it's what, like vanilla pudding?

That's still funny. But I can't now enjoy that even without thinking about you. Now it's disgusting. Now you're dumping vanilla pudding on someone's head. Yes, as some sort of sexual act for you. I feel violated. And she asked you the question. And she asked you the question.

She's a lady. And you couldn't just answer with something normal? Banana peel? Okay. Andy, we're going to reach into the bag for one more question. Okay. Does Liz have any other stuff? Of course.

I mean, this is a great platform for her. Yeah. Let her shine. A record the size of my head. That's good. I'd like to see her head because a record is normally bigger.

But she said it like it was impressive that it would be that big. You know what I mean? She's like, it's the size of my head, which makes it sound like it's big. I will say, she didn't really say it like it was that impressive. Well, am I the only one getting that? Back me up here, Ant-Man.

Here's what you need to know. I'll tell you something, because you're a detective. Her head is twice the size of an average human head, which is ultimately twice the size of a record. Oh, okay. Wow. So it's a big record with double the song. These are jukebox records you're talking about? No, these are laser discs.

Oh, okay. Okay. Records, records, records. I like to call them records, laser records. Yeah, that's what we call them. And does Mark have any more? It's sort of a romantic dance these two are doing. I don't want to stop the flow of it.

Oh, a micro machine the size of a car. Well, now that would just be a car. That's not a micro machine. A micro machine's a mini car. But I will say, on the video you played, he held his fingers together like they were an inch apart. That is true. Well, I think it's the video component of the sound drop

he was I don't think anyone says the word micromachine without involuntarily holding their fingers but if we're talking about a big car

why would they show that it's small I just think I literally think saying the words micromachine but in the act of pulling it

out of the bag which is what he was doing he should have been holding his hands very far apart and been struggling with it if it were that big. So I think he might be confused about cars. Well, can I tell you what I think happened? I think he reached clean through the bag, then held the bag up to his eye, almost like a spyglass.

And he's looking out through the hole, and what he's seeing is a parking lot. But it looks tiny. So he thinks it's a micromachine. But he knows how big it is. That's the problem. Yeah. He can't have been wrong the first time. We know that. He was definitely right with the first thing he said.

I mean, there's a theme to this show, which is I wish Ernest was here. Ernest, because I think he could solve this. God, he's smart. Andy. Yeah. Do you have another question? Yeah, Lauren, do you think that TV is better than movies now?

Yeah, and here's why. For me, TV is shorter than movies. And for me, my schedule allows me to watch more TV than more movies in the same amount of time as it takes to watch a movie. Do you know what I'm saying? So for me, I'd go ahead and say that a TV is better than a movie. And Andy, I want to say that we really appreciate you doing

whatever you needed to do in between the second and third questions so that we could actually get some content that's usable in this episode. We gave you, I don't know if you noticed, we gave you a lot of time between... Yeah, I appreciate that. We intentionally used some sound drops that needed a little bit of explaining.

And there was a pronounced tonal shift in your questions between the second one and the third one. The third one was very professional, Andy. Thank you. Great, thank you. Appreciate it. I got my respect back. I got my respect back. Lauren got her respect back. So do you want to say thank you to our guest? Thank you so much, Lauren. It was very nice talking to you.

You too, Andy. He's built it back up again. That's fast. That's a fast trigger. That's a fast trigger. That's a fast trigger. You could hear him in the pause when he said it was really nice.

It was really nice and then he's like, what was nice about it? And then he goes, talking to you. And talking has never not meant talking so much as it did in this sentence. Oh my. You could hear him shuddering, basically with the semen flowing back into his balls.

Ugh. Ugh, and Hase, he's got you wound up now. Well, that was very technical. The way I describe it is purely technical. No, it was very scientific, yes. Okay, bye, Andy. Bye. Bye-bye.

Bye, guys. Thanks, bye, Andy. Bye. Bye-bye. Bye, guys. Thanks. Well. Well. Sorry. Bing! Clip ended. Okay, that was awesome.

Engineer Rashid, what did you think of the clip? I actually didn't hear the clip, man. I'm still here waiting for it, but I realized that you said you were just going to put it in later, so I didn't hear the clip man I'm still here waiting for it but I realized that you said you were just gonna put it in later so I didn't hear it

you should say it was really good because we want them to think that you were hearing it and that you like hearing the show oh

wow what a clip Rashid Engineer Rashid what did you think ofheed what did you think of the clip what did you think of it as a nice clip that clip was really good man it was awesome

you know popcorn really in movies this is real good man thanks next one coming up BJ Novak was on the show you know BJ Novak engineer Rasheed BJ? BJ did you, Engineer Rashid?

BJ? BJ. Did you ever watch The Office? I have. What character does he play? He's the guy, he's in the first part, he's holding up a bag, and when you watch

the beginning of the show, he holds up a bag and it says BJ Novak on the screen. He's got hair, sort of fluffy hair. I think I know who you're talking about,

honestly. You do know. I'm pretty sure I do. He's got big eyes, very nice eyes. Is he, I don't want to say, is he like the Spanish guy?

Yes. Is he? He's sort of. Sort of. He came on the show to talk about being in Spider-Man movie. Oh, man.

He was in that last Spider-man movie you like spider-man spider-man's very cool he lives here right spider-man yeah yeah he's from new york does he ever accidentally get web on the like just on the wrong person he leaves that everywhere but i'm glad that's not my job to clean that up whose job is that do you know that guy i don't know that guy but people who volunteer to like i guess clean windows i mean the whole point of getting that job is to like clean webbing off of it yeah they probably take it home for souvenirs or something like that sure probably sells for a pretty penny huh it probably

does but from new york people probably don't buy it they probably get sick and tired of it so this is bj novak uh on our show, Hollywood Handbook. Bing! Now entering the clip. Speaking on writing, BJ, you wrote a famous book, and it's on all the big lists these days, and it's called One More Thing, and it's a book of stories and other stories.

That's the subtitle of the book. And you can buy it anywhere. And this book, you had an important point to prove with this book, didn't you? Because you were known mostly for being an acting man and for doing your jokes. But you wanted to prove something with this book, didn't you? And winning joke contests since you were a kid. And tell me what you feel that I proved. That books are easy. So easy.

And all the newspapers and all the naysayers said books are hard, and he'll never do it, and no one will. And then you really showed them a thing or two about a good lesson they had to learn. You did it. Well, thank you. I did it. Thank you. I don't know that people were surprised that a book was written,

which I think you're implying, that people thought it couldn't be done, no one could do it. Well, I know one guy who was pretty surprised. Who is that, you? It's Hayes. I mean, it is Hayes. I screamed. You screamed in a way that you didn't at Spider Haze. I mean, it is Haze. I screamed. Oh, okay.

You screamed in a way that you didn't at Spider-Man. No, very similarly. You didn't cry from fear, though. I said I cried. I didn't say I didn't also scream. That's true. That's true. I wasn't so surprised that a book had been written as much as it was printed and could

be bought to be read. No, see, I find that unsurprising as well. written as much as it was printed and could be bought to be read by just whoever. I find that unsurprising as well. Because I would think if you write a book, you might want to keep it a secret. I like to think that maybe you were surprised by how good it was, how funny it was. The fact that a book was published at all, a book, I have to disagree with you. I think that there's a whole book business. Think of bookstores, right?

You know what a bookstore is. There's a whole business model based on the fact that books are published. So if you think of it that way, it would be weirder if no books were published because then you're going to Barnes & Noble. What's there? It's old books. Well, they sell their – yeah. They sell – It's old books and the new books are like – They sell like Leonardo da Vinci books.

And greeting cards aren't really books. They don't really count as books. They open and there are words inside, but they're not really the same as books. And maybe they also would have one of your Spider-Man stuff that you were talking about. You have an interesting relationship with plurals. This is the second time. Yeah, no, they might sell my Spider-Man stuff. With the story.

One of them, yeah. Yes, with the two guys who think they're friends. How long does it take you to write one of those stories of yours? Well, some of them can take me weeks. Some of them could just come fully formed in a moment. Someone gives it to you? You could just do one? No, no, no.

I need to be very clear. No one gives me these stories. I feel inspired, and I give myself the story in the case that I'm describing. You could just do one whenever. You could do it right now. No, not whenever. Sam, just get out your keyboard. Sam, could you get your keyboard out, please?

Yeah. And then, so I think that because, as you said, stories are so easy that you almost could just do them. Okay. We may want to hear, just sort of do a story and show America or whoever else, you know, what it really means. And it doesn't have to be a story about Spider-Man, just because we've, you know, been talking about that.

But it might help because he's in the zeitgeist right now. It would sell. It would sell. Pretty famous, yeah. So you want us, you're using very vague words, so I want to try to nail down what we're doing here. We are going to write a story, not do a story, right?

Well, we don't need to touch the keyboard. Sam's got one. Sam is going to write the story. We're going to compose a story. story sam is gonna type it for us it might be about spider-man but it doesn't it doesn't have to be and that could be helpful and the purpose of this is to demonstrate how easy it is to write a story because people don't know they don't usually hear it when it happens. That's very true. Well, and if you're writing one fully formed and you're doing it alone,

think about the three of us back collaborating like the old days when we were writing, pulling over a little bow wow. Yeah. Okay, sure. We were graffitiing Wilmer's car, which he was so prideful of. That's right. We escalated everything on the actual show. Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, who'd like to start us off?

Well, you're the guy with the pen. Golden pen. Okay. Well, I'll start with the title. Great. We'll go around. Yeah. Well, I'll start with the title.

Great. We'll go around. Yeah. Spider-Man and the Case of the Music Box Hostage Crisis. Quick pitch, the amazing, the amazing Spider-Man. I love that. Let's go with that. Okay, yes. And the Case of the Music Box Hostage Spider-Man. I love that. Let's go with that. Okay, yes. And the case of the music box hostage crisis.

Yeah. That's good. Okay. Now remember, it's a case. So this is a detective angle for Spider-Man. Who is normally something else. Normally just about the action. Okay.

Normally there's no sort of investigation aspect. That's more of a Batman thing. Spider-Man knows what's up. And then he's just jumping everywhere. He does his job. Jumps into action. There is no legal review generally as part of Spider-Man's process. He's flipping.

Yeah. So in this story, you know, there's a music box hostage crisis. And, uh, so, you know, it's a case. It needs to be solved. Okay. Spider-Man looked at the footprint.

He could tell the man was in trouble. Trouble with the cops. Great. He sniffed a little bit of the ground, and he held his ear to it because of his Indian past. And he heard the whole story. Which was? Don't write which was, Sam.

No, I think which was. Sam, did you get that? New paragraph. Did you get that? Which was? Did you get the which was? Is. No, I think which was. Sam, did you get that? New paragraph. Did you get that? Which was? Did you get the which was? Is this argument as part of it? See, this is what's called a surprise for the reader.

It's not an argument, Sam. No. It's a collaboration. You'll know. Sam, you'll know when it's an argument. It's healthy for us to have this kind of talk. Now, what I'm saying now is side commentary. This is great.

This is great storytelling because there's a structural surprise. The reader thinks the story is going to unfold naturally. Instead, we are going to explain exactly what happened on the surface right now. Yeah. So, which was? Which was, yeah. The one guy's foot, you know, hurt so much. Great.

So, he just smashed it on the ground. Great. And he also didn't know why that other... This is great. That other guy was after him. We're learning about Spider-Man's inner monologue. It's very choppy. Yeah.

That other guy... Just like you and me. You know, why is he chasing him? And so a really hot, hot mama walked in too. And Spider-Man had to look at that. Sure. Ooh, yes. And then she starts talking to him. That's great.

Well, now I want to know what she said. Yeah. What she said or what he said? that's great. And I, and well, now I want to know what she said. Yeah. What she said or what he said. She started talking to him in the story to Spider-Man. Well, she said, cut the well.

Just, she said, Colin, it's cleaner. There are 48 hostages inside the world's largest music box. If you crank

the music box, which was built for the World's Fair as an entrant to the Guinness Book of World Records' world's largest music box, which was meant to attract attention to the beleaguered city of Sioux Falls. That's spelled S-U-E-F-A-L-S. And the reason it's beleaguered, this is a footnote now,

the reason it's beleaguered is because people never go to it. They just go to Sioux Falls, S-I-O-U-X. Well, and didn't this one get its name because there were so many frivolous lawsuits? No, this is a woman named Sioux who fell, and it was the town's... In the town square, she just falls over and over again. Yeah, it was the town's claim to fame. And this might be a separate story that we write at some point.

She turned out to have vertigo, huh? Same more on this in a later story in the collection. So this... We don't have to read it back, but just pick it up from where we're describing that the world's largest music box is being built for the World's Fair in Sioux Falls, Ohio. And if you crank it from the outside, this box would play.

Now, here's where you help me. Give me a song. Love in this club. Yeah, love in this club. I'd say which version, but it's just the music, which I think is the same for the radio edit. But they never expected hostages to be inside. So the woman explains this. And Spider-Man, oh, you know who else is in there?

Gwen Stacy. Ah. Okay. From the show. From No Doubt. Yeah. And Gwen Stefani. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Let's make it a little more contemporary. There are two people in there. Gwen Stefani, and then in parentheses, Spider-Man raised an eyebrow almost imperceptibly. He was impressed, but not blown away. And Gwen Stacy, Spider-Man's eyes popped open. Now it was personal. Don't write this part, but that is how you should react to Gwen Stefani. If you

show too much, you're weird. She'll walk all over you. Be cool. Often Gwen Stefani is prelude to a bigger celebrity. With guests including Gwen Stefani, it's often about to get bigger, so don't blow your wad.

No, just like, okay, who else? You might get a bigger name you might get Sandy Bullock so obsessed with her yeah so

now so and then italicize now it was personal okay so she's in the music box okay this is getting good

yes well Sam well oh sorry Okay, this is getting good. Yes. Well, Sam. Well. Is that a quotation mark? Spider-Man said. Or is this a more conversational story, narrative voice? This is McCarthy-esque, and there are no quotation marks, Sam. God help you if there are any quotation marks in this story.

Well, said Spider-Man, time to go. And he put his hand out and out of his freaking head came a web. See, again, I feel, this is commentary, I feel that your lack of exposure to the Spider-Man mythology

puts you out of step with most of your audience. Refreshing, huh? How can you say that I don't know and I haven't been exposed to Spider-Man? I just told you exactly what he does. The fact that the narrator would express so much amazement that a web came forth from his hand is... It makes me think you don't know. You were in the movie.

It makes me think you don't know what he does. That's exactly the thing that happened. The narrator shouldn't express amazement. The guy's called Amazing Spider-Man. But the narrator you take for granted he's amazing. It's the word friggin' that really, to me, tipped that you were not as used to this happening as most people. Sam, can you just read back

what we have where I'm lost? Sure. Spider-Man in the case of Music Box Hostage Crisis. Wait. You said you read to music.

I write to music. Oh, no, I read to music. You read to music. Okay. One second I read to music. You read to music. Okay, one second. Ready? Yeah. Spider-Man looked at the footprint. Wait, wait, wait, wait! Oh, sorry. Why is my sound not going?

I do it for the ladies. But I gotta keep it hood. Spider-Man looked at the footprint. He could tell the man was in trouble. Trouble with the cops. He sniffed a little of the footprint. He could tell the man was in trouble. Trouble with the cops. He sniffed a little of the ground. And because of his Indian past,

he knew the whole story, which was one guy's foot, you know, hurt so much, so he smashed it on the ground. And he didn't know why the other guy was after him. Why is he chasing him? And a really hot mama Kate walked in, so we had to look at it,

and he was like, ooh, yes. So she looked at him. Cut the well. Oh, that's a no from me. There are 48 hostages inside the world's largest music box, which was built for the World's Fair for the Guinness Records. No, it spells Sioux Falls as Sioux. More on the later collection. If you crank it from the outside of the box, it would play, loving this club.

It doesn't matter which version for the radio. They never expected hostages to be inside. You know, who else is in there? Gwen Stacy from the show. And Gwen Stefani, which is often followed by bigger celebrities when being announced. Spider-Man raised in highbrow. Now it's personal

and italic. Well, Spider-Man said, in a McCarthy-esque way, it's time to go. Out of his friggin' hand came a web. Sometimes you just get it. I think it's really good. I think it's good. I think the footprint turned out to be the key to the music box or something.

But anyway, really, that was easy, and now everyone knows. Another great clip in the books. All right, awesome. Hey, Sean what what did you think of that clip very romantic it was very romantic i guess yeah i i guess i agree with that uh so we're just gonna go right in four years in an african prison taking out the ass twice a day by the fucking natives that's bullshit oh i'm sorry to hear that that's a terrible story uh that's i'm sorry that happened to you uh we're just going to move on to the next clip sometimes on the show we do you listen to the show right rashid not yet but after today i will after today you you you will because what you just like got a phone or something got a phone you just got a computer

to listen to the show why is it today only today that you'll listen to it is because you didn't have the necessary hardware to listen to it before that. You might be correct, or I just didn't pay attention. After today, I will. You just gave me another chance. It's going to make a big difference for you. This next clip, we do a segment sometimes called the teaser freezer, where we play a teaser, you know like a teaser in movies?

Yeah. Before movies is a little commercial movie, and it's like the teaser. Got it. We play that, talk about the teaser but sometimes it doesn't always go according to plan and this is a clip uh with another engineer who's not rashid his name is engineer brett on the hollywood handbook clip time please we want to do a segment on the show uh it's so hot in los angeles right. And so what we want to do is a segment that is good for cooling everyone down.

And it's called the teaser freezer. And the way the teaser freezer works is teasers are commercials about movies. And we keep in the teasers freezer. So they stay cold. Did you have anything you wanted to add? Well, I mean, the only thing I have to add is just that I was sweating from how hot

and I did have to move my fan closer to my bed. And because my windows are the crank windows that open out sideways in my basement that my dad doesn't want to get the windows redone in the apartment, that doesn't allow me to have a standard air conditioner in there. But now you know also about the fan that you are not supposed to move it too close. Too close to the bed?

Well, because of your hair. Yes. Well, my hair is – I have temporary hair right now because I am in between two different hairs that I'm going to have. One for my last movie, one for my next movie. And so the hair I have right now, because it's not permanent, if it were to get caught in a fan or if it were to touch a fan if i rolled over when i'm sleeping it would swing you yes it would swing me and it would possibly remove a big chunk

of my scalp and i did have that happen to a friend of mine uh when we both had temporary hair and we were both close to a fan at a restaurant and his his got caught in it, and 168 Stitches couldn't put him back together again. So anyway. Couldn't. Could not. Could not. All King's Horses, All the King's Men, and 168 Stitches couldn't put him back together again after that hair fan incident.

So I do need to be careful, but at the same time it's so hot and i was sweating so we're in the teaser freezer now and i'm excited to cool down so we open up the freezer and mush mush go and we reach inside and we pull out a teaser and you look at it and the teaser is for the equalizer the equalizer this is a movie it's got denzel and we love denzel and it's an action movie but it has a brain in its head they're so often so dumbed down for the lowest common denominator. And that is just people think in order to have an action movie with guns and violence, that the only people that are going to enjoy that are this denominator that is so low. It's the lowest one.

That you can't have something smart and thank god hollywood finally got you know one of my messages yes it's a movie and it has the the explosions and the guns and the punching for the lowest common denominator but it also has a little few little treats in there for mom and dad. And we'll show you why right now in the teaser freezer. So it starts, Denzel's in a diner and he's reading a book and it's Old Man and the Sea. He catch that fish yet? Hmm?

The book. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he did. It's a happy ending. Not exactly. The old man met his greatest adversary just when he thought that part of his life was over. Why didn't he just let the fish go? Old man's got to be the old man. Fish has adversary just when he thought that part of his life was over why didn't he just let the fish go old man's got to be the old man fish has got to be the fish got to be who you are in this world right no matter what wow a lot of treats for a thinking person who likes books and this is especially relevant for me because my 2014 book is Old Man in the Sea.

I did A Mice and Men last year and I said this year I'm going even longer. I think they're about the same length. That's a great 2014 book. And so I am about two thirds of the way through. And I don't even

mind that it sort of spoils it because I was wondering in it as I'm reading this great words, what's going on in this book? And for Denzel to so tightly say it, wow. That the fish has got to be the fish and the old man's got to be the old man that sums it up and that's something that they never say outright in the book but it is very strongly implied and if you look at it that way it becomes easier to read the book and i've even

done more pages since seeing this treat teaser because this is my 1975 book and i've read it i really enjoyed it as you know it's about 70 pages long but in the teaser you notice that the book he's reading is a huge leather bound looks like about a 700 page book and if you actually look at the teaser he's reading this book in a restaurant you know go restaurant read a book and he is on it looks like maybe page four of this book you see him reading it and he's very very early in the book especially to have picked up as much as he has so far but i think here's the secret about him this is how you know he's smart he's got this big version of the book because i think he's so smart it's like it's like the old man of the sea 10 times in a row because he's so smart he's gonna read it i have a theory what what i have a theory what is it he has some pages in

the book where he writes what he thinks about the book. So he reads one page and then he writes nine pages of his own theories. I think so. And isn't that interesting that we could have two different ideas about it only from seeing four seconds of one teaser? Well, it forces you to think. It forces you to ask some questions and to have some of your own thoughts. Why is that book so big?

I know it's not supposed to be that big. Why? Why is he reading it in the restaurant? Why is he talking about it like he knows everything about it when he's only on page four? Yes, and why is a teen girl talking to him about his book, too? And why is she asking it in a way? Why is her first question, did he catch that fish yet which if he didn't like fuck you lady you know because i'm trying to read this book

yo pop bet you don't have to push no dollies at your old job did you guilty as charged so now he's he's working at his job open the register up right now. He's getting robbed. And he works at a Home Depot store. A style store. And it's called Home Mart. Which is sort of an improvement on the Home Depot concept. Maybe they can't use Home Depot. So hard to say.

So hard to remember. Home Depot is really almost impossible to say. But if you work at a store first of all it doesn't look like it says depot that's what makes it so hard honestly you have to actively actually not read it if you want to say it well and you have to practice saying it enough times that you don't have to take a big pause between the two words. Mm-hmm. Because what's nice for Home Mart... Well, you're not saying it actually correctly. I'm sorry.

What's nice for Home Mart... No, you have to say both words. Home Mart... You're saying one M. You need to say... Just pronounce each word individually. Say it. You say it. Home Mart.

Home Mart. No, you're not doing it right. You have to say... It's two words. It's not one word. Brett, am I losing my frigging beans today? I mean, am I out of my mind? Brett, you say it.

Home-mart? No, you're saying one M. Home-mart. And what's nice about saying home-mart. No, that's not the name. The name of the company is home mart well i'm sorry you lost this battle and i hate to give brett a bread try again you know that's wrong i would say you're saying home art home mart i'm saying both words no they flow into each other

that seems like the way you have to finish. No, you have to finish the word home. And what's nice about home-art is your mouth is already at the M, so you don't got to take a whole other trip to go find the D. No, home-art is a totally different thing from what this name is, which is home-mart. Okay, well, how about oh you're walmart well that's not how it's spelled at all you're putting it walmart walmart okay well i hope you like having engineer bread on your side it must be a really great feeling must be a really great feeling to have engineer bread

agree with you on how to pronounce a word. Does that feel good? You know what, Hayes? You're right. It's not a very good feeling, is it? I didn't really think about what I was doing and who I was sort of aligning myself with. A discussion of how to pronounce a word. I guess the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was uh you know make making me be think i'm friends with engineer brett for a minute

when it comes to some things conversations about like wearing a beatles shirt you know brett's an expert on that there's no denying it when it comes to wearing a beetle shirt you want to talk to engineer brett's an expert on that there's no denying it when it comes to wearing a beetle shirt you want to talk to engineer brett right you would consider yourself an expert on that wouldn't you an expert on the beatles or wearing no no definitely not expert on the band the beatles an expert on yeah no i you are not an expert on that. You're an expert on wearing a Beatles shirt. I suppose I'm pretty good at that. I'm willing to concede that you are an expert on that, in fact.

Okay, I'll take that. I'll take it. You're doing it right now. I'm taking it? No, you're wearing a Beatles shirt. Yeah, I am. I'm doing it pretty well, I would say. You're doing it expertly. Okay, yeah, I'm an expert on it. I would say you're doing it expertly. Okay. Yeah.

I'm an expert on it. But when it comes to saying a word, I feel pretty comfortable saying home art, home, home art. It's home of Mart. I'm really going through something here. What's wrong.

I mean, engineer Brett is roasting you. I mean, he's on the right side of this thing. I swear to God he is. Listen to what you say. I just, down to the last detail, I just feel like Engineer Brett has it pegged. And what happened to you or what happened?

Did he take some kind of super pill or something and now he's a smart guy? And how did you fall so far? I've been working with you for a long time. Okay, then if that's true, then he should be doing the rest of the show. He should do the teaser freezer. He should do the rest of the teaser freezer.

If that's how you feel, why would I be hosting the show anymore? Why would I finish the teaser freezer when Brett can do it? When he's the one who's and he's an expert on saying all the words. Why did he do it? Why did he do the teaser freezer?

And I do the sound. Why don't I just do the sound? Here, here I go. I just do the sound? Here, here I go! Hayes, come back. I'll do the sound! Hayes, get back in your seat. Get back in your seat.

There's no way you know how to do the sound. Go, I'll do it! You don't know how to do the sound. I'll do the sound, get up! Well, do teaser freezer. Get up! Well, if we're right about this, then he would be able to do the sound. I mean, he would have become that dumb.

That that would make sense to him. Okay, so Brett, you know you're going to sort of start it and describe what's happening and then stop it. Well, you know how to do it. You're Hayes now. Okay, go ahead. What am I doing? You do the teaser do the teaser okay you do the teaser freezer you

know how to pronounce the words so we made our bed brett okay i'm here i get you this out okay just sit there and don't press anything though is it red are the is it red? Is it red going across? Just make sure it's red. Is what red? Just the file, the wave file. Hey, just feel it.

Brett. The big one is red. You don't do both. Now, just feel it out, Hayes. Yeah, I know how to do it. This is all I do now. Okay, now, Brett, play more of the teaser. Okay.

Here we go. What's she doing about? It is about a guy who is a knight in shining armor, except he lives in a world where knights don't exist anymore. My ring. The book, right? Brett, what do you think of that part of the teaser? Well, he's talking about another book.

Books don't exist anymore? Is that what he said? Holy shit. I'm just worried about him doing sound. Well, this is the show now. This is the show now. I'm distracted by him doing sound. Brett is really worrying me. Hearing?

He literally couldn't hear. I can see. And misunderstanding the very basic idea of a sentence. Welcome to your new show. Well, no one said the word. I said the word book to try to sort of lead a horse to water a little bit because she goes, what's the new one about? I want the listeners to know she means his new book.

He apparently talks to this young sort of prepubescent girl about books all the time. This 65 year old man. So anyway, I'm trying to explain that to them. Then you just somehow plug me saying that into your memory so that you go, he's in a world where books don't exist anymore in the movie he's just in a movie walking with a girl she goes what's the new one about he goes it's about a a knight but he lives in a time where knights don't exist anymore and you go he's in a world where books don't exist anymore it's like holy shit brett you couldn't get through one sentence you couldn't get through one sentence. You couldn't get through one fucking sentence.

And I think you were so bad at doing it that I've learned how to say, Home March. No, don't say that. I don't think I could have been more vindicated than by what just happened. You obviously don't want to be the host of this show anymore with Brett. That would be insane. Well, it's not a show. You should probably come do the sound.

Well, yes, I think that much is clear. Because you definitely don't want to be on the same show as Brett where he's hosting. I cannot be hosting with Brett. I'm going to do the sound. Okay. So you come over here. Okay, I'm coming. This isn't...

You can give me a minute to settle into this new role. Okay, now Sean and I are doing the sound, and now I'm going to take a picture of you while you do the teaser freezer. Wait, both of you? And as someone who thought for even a second that Brett was going to be able to do the show and host it, I now have officially proven myself stupid enough to do the sound. You guys threw me into

the segment I'm least familiar with, to be honest. It's our most famous segment. Everyone loves it. You could say that. It's all yours. Okay, should I keep playing the trailer? Yes, and then do the commentary by yourself.

I can't. It's not even. He's putting a hammer back on the. I think he could be anything you want to change your world. He just slapped a woman. I would never go back to being that person. But when somebody does something unspeakable, it's something you hardly knew. I don't understand.

Do you give up? I don't understand. Say you give up. I don't give up. Admit that you give up. Then finish it if you don't give up. This doesn't feel like a teaser freezer, really. This is what I've wanted.

It doesn't feel anything like a teaser freezer. It doesn't. I admit it doesn't. I can do sound again. Say you give up. I never even asked for this. Yeah, Brett, the very idea that I used to host a podcast with you is sickening. This is what you think a teaser freezer is?

I wish you gave me at least two sentences to settle into this. What segment do you think you would have been good at, by the way? You said this is the one you're least familiar with. What segment do you think you would have hit out of the park? Let's hear you do that one. Welcome to Hollywood Handbook, the insider's guide to this place we call show. This place, this.

He's sweating. I swear I can do this. Welcome to Hollywood Handbook. We're in the teaser freezer where it's cold and he's sweating. It's hot. I thought we were just talking about how hot it was. Not in the freezer, Brett. The whole point is that the freezer is cold.

We're at the friggin' North Pole. We're not still in this freezer. They mushed a sled dog and we went to the North Pole. Come back and do the sound. Okay. I'm sorry. You give up. sound. Okay. I'm sorry. You give up. That's right.

I give up. Wow, I thought I was part of a good podcast, but now I'm just part of something that I think has a lot of problems. One is the sound guy tried to host it and i let him and now i just think now i just think this whole thing is just mean and exploitive and how did i it's a little neat and how did i say that right and how did i do on the sound when i was over there i think actually it went okay oh look i did because what about when i was there you took. What about when I was there? You took pictures.

What about when Sean was the sound? Sean just sort of hovered over you and didn't, I didn't see him actually even touching anything. And that's what it needed at the time, wasn't it? Because it came out fine. Well, we'll see how it comes out. Sometimes we need to know when what actually is necessary is to just sort of hover there and not be doing so much. Huh, Brett?

I think this started with you asking me how to say something. Bing! That clip ruled. Okay, we're going to take a quick break now. So this, how do i explain this um this is not a clip from the show this is a commercial within the best of episode does that make sense that makes total sense because people i'm worried here's what i'm worried about an engineer people are gonna hear what's coming next and they're gonna think it's a best

of clip because this because this is the best of episode but it's not a best up clip it's a commercial so is there like a sound that you do to announce that it's commercial time maybe just like with your voice like a special like engineering sound to like introduce a commercial um the only thing that comes to mind is, I guess, a trumpet sound. Okay, that's great. I would love to hear. So, Engineer Rasheed, go ahead and do the trumpet sound that's officially announcing that the commercial is coming up.

We'll be right back on Hollywood Handbook. Hollywood Handbook. Hollywood Handbook. book people that know him personally. Yes, Vinnie Jones' friends. And frankly, I don't want Vinnie Jones' friends listening to this podcast. I'm serious. I know maybe it sounds inappropriate, but guys that are friends like him, he's always going around hitting guys in the head with his head

and using metal sticks to get people's money. He seems like a pretty bad guy. He's not a guy that I want, certainly in my friendship circle, and I don't want his friends listening to this show. Hey, welcome back to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking button dropping names in the red carpet linebacker hallways of this industry we call showbiz. This is the best of episode. Some of you may have just tuned in in the middle of the commercial. It does happen sometimes. Well, this is the best of episode of the show. We are trying to be poached by another podcast network. So please listen to this. And this is, we call it the best of episode, but this is actually not the best we can do. We can do a lot better than this.

And with our contract situation with Earwolf, this is the amount of can do we can do a lot better than this uh and with what our contract situation with earwolf this is the amount of effort that we're willing to put in for how they compensate us and the equity that we have in their network but with a better deal it's like engineer rashid if you were getting paid like two thousand dollars a year you would be willing to do much more than you're doing right now, I assume. Yeah. Which is that you get to live here, basically.

Right? Yeah, I usually get to come in here whenever I want. Pretty frequently. Yeah, like when it rains. When it rains, yeah. So you don't get wet. You need a place to be when it rains, man.

I want to introduce another great clip. This is a segment with Paul F. Tompkins. You've heard Paul F. Tompkins on Comedy Bang Bang, but did you know that he could actually be on a good podcast? Check it out. Wow. Bing! I'm a female clip robot.

And so we have to do Riddle Me This quickly. And we don't know what exactly it is. You're doing the game from Comedy Bank. Yes, because we got an ad on that show. And so now people who are accustomed to that show are coming here and they want to hear the game

that they like to listen to. Yes. So you need me to explain what the game is? Yes, please. Riddle Me This is a game where everyone has to guess a riddle. Somebody says a riddle. We go around in turns. Somebody says a riddle, and then the other person has to guess what that riddle is.

Not the answer to the riddle. They have to guess, like, is it a famous riddle that I would have heard somewhere before? Or did you just make that riddle up? Oh, wow. Yeah. Okay. So for the players, it makes it easy. If you're the person who has to come up with the riddle, you can

either make up your own riddle or you can remember a riddle from days gone by. But you have to say the truth of what you did. Well, I know a riddle. Well, I saw a riddle recently where the answer is the library. Is that helpful? That's a little, I mean, that gives us something.

Okay. It's better to have the- So am I playing the game now? It's better, not yet. It's better to start with the question part. You give the question and the answer. You don't even have to give the answer. You just have to give the riddle.

And then you have to guess, is this a riddle that I've heard before? Or is this a riddle that you've just made up? So it's the one where it's the doctor's mom. Like if I'm doing that riddle. That's not a riddle. That's a logic problem. There's a big difference. And a lot of people fall into this trap.

A woman being a doctor is a logic problem? There's a big difference. A lot of people fall into this trap. You think that a woman being a doctor is a logic problem? Absolutely it is. Because what if it's, you know, that time of the month? Oh gosh, and she's got her finger on the button. Yeah, the button that gives you anesthesia. The surgery button. That's right.

And she's like, I'm crabby. I'm not going to save this guy's life. I'm going to let him bleed out. Oh yeah, and give me chocolate. And then that gets inside your stitches. Why do they have no female engineers here? Oh, that's a good question. Oh, wow. That's a really good question.

Oh, wow. Frank leaves. It's a great opportunity to have a female engineer. To get a gal. Someone who's going to be the Sandra Day O'Connor of Earwolf Engineers. Yes. Well, what I was saying about the engineer brains, though. Instead, they bring in a Clarence Thomas. I think the engineer brains all work in, like, numbers and, you know.

Ones and zeros. Yes. Binary. It's that kind of thing. And women are so emotional. Yes, which I think can be great about them. Yeah. And it's more of a job for, like, a Spock than it is for a Roseanne.

Exactly, yes, which are the two types of human in a lot of ways. more of a job for like a Spock than it is for a Roseanne. Exactly. Yes. Which are the two types of human in a lot of ways. Emotional and logical. Yeah. You're either a Spock or a Roseanne. That's right. Okay.

So you do Riddle. Yeah. Okay. You want me to start? Well. Just because now that I've explained the game. Yeah. I'll start. Okay. And then you see, you'll see explained the game... Yeah. I'll start.

Okay. And then you see... You'll see how it goes. Okay. Okay? Yes. So I'm going to provide a riddle. Okay.

Then I'll go to each of you in turn, and then I get to weigh in as well on whether or not it's a real riddle or one I've just made up. Okay. You're weighing in. This sounds good. Okay. Yeah. All right.

To trick us. I'm starting. Maybe. People like this, huh? They love it. Okay. It's the in. Good. Okay. Yeah. Alright. To trick us. I'm starting to think maybe. People like this, huh? They love it. Okay. It's the most popular game. Okay. What has three legs,

four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs at night? I have a pretty good joke to make about this. I know it's got three legs in the morning, which is what you almost said, and it's me because I got frigging morning wood. Remember you wake up with a boner?

Like an erection? Yeah. I remember. I do remember that. Yeah. Pretty intense joke, huh? So now what are we supposed to do in the game? Ah, now this is the game part.

You have to guess. Is that a real riddle that I remember from somewhere? Or did I make that up just now? I think you stole it. Hold on. It's not your turn yet. Okay. Okay.

Haze. Real riddle or did I just make it up? Well, I hope it's not real because otherwise we won't get to run. We won't get to play it on the show because we made this mistake with songs. Like if you play a song, you can't actually – like the People who own the song will call you because of copyrights. I don't know. With riddles, I think it's different.

No, it is. Oh, it is different. That's even more money. So then, what do you... Well, because the riddle people... Because songs get used all the time, so they can let it slide sometimes, but riddles get used pretty rarely, which makes this a very dangerous game. Yeah.

Well, then – okay. Well, let's play out the round, and then we'll figure out how to proceed if we're worried about riddle copyrights. Okay. So this – Sean? Yeah. It's not your turn yet. Okay.

Did you know that Happy – It's still okay, but – Did you know – okay, but just to refresh – Happy birthday? Okay. That song is the same. That you have to. What?

You're about to say a myth and you're falling into a trap. No, it is not a myth. It is not a myth. It is not a myth. You have to, it costs money to do that in the movie. And so that's why you have people singing like, have a good birthday and stuff in the movies because they aren't allowed to do happy birthday.

Yeah, you're following the same myth. That's the same myth and that's why TGI Fridays had to write their own birthday song which I think is actually better for one thing. And so in a way it's positive but you don't actually have to pay anyone. I think it is fake because nothing could do that.

Okay. Nothing could have the different number of legs. So you're saying not a real riddle. You think I just made that riddle up. Yes, because if you actually think about it, it's impossible. Okay. Okay. Sean, now it's your turn.

And so just to go over it again, I remember my three legs joke, but I'm trying to remember the actual riddle. Right. Which is four legs in the morning. Four legs in the morning. Two legs. three legs joke, but I'm trying to remember the actual riddle, which is four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs at night. It's a monster. No, you're not supposed to answer the riddle. That's

absolutely not important. Just guess. That's terrifying. Is it a real riddle? Of course it is. It's friggin' changing leg numbers all day? I don't mean to... Let's not get sidetracked. As scary as that is, the point of it is not for you to answer the riddle. The point – anybody could do that. It's any stupid game.

Is it a real riddle that exists already or did I just make it up? I'm sorry. You know what? I didn't know being called stupid is part of the game. So I'm going to bow out of this. No, I wasn't trying to call – So thank you very much, but no. It doesn't sound very – maybe that's what they do on the other show, but we don't like to do that. Maybe Scott's kind of humor and maybe not so much ours.

I apologize if it came off that way. It was not my intention at all to call you stupid. I was merely trying to explain the game, I maybe I got too excited because I love playing this game. Yes. And I apologize. I do not, for the record, I don't think you're stupid. Okay. Apology feels sincere

but again, I can't always tell. Well, if I was wrong, then I'm sorry too if I misunderstood something. But it didn't feel like I did. Thanks for that apology. So the game – so the game – OK. So it's not a monster. Is it a spider?

That's the only thing where I think of number of legs really. Let me – you know what? I realize I've explained this poorly. And so let me explain it better. And I see why you – it's not quite making sense. The fault is mine. It's not – it's less about – excuse me. It's less about finding an answer to the riddle and forget about – you can forget about answering the riddle, OK?

OK. And all you have to think is – But these are wrong answers. Well, they might be right. They might be wrong. OK, OK. The real question I'm asking is – But if it – can I say if it is a Frankenstein, that that is still a monster?

Noted. Yes. Noted. Because you know they're putting his arms and stuff on so maybe they put on different legs and one leg doesn't over the course of a day they realize yeah they feel like they got it down and they're like let's try something else and then they finish with the three legs and then they quit well they do four by accident and then they start out with too many yes and then they quit. They do four by accident and then – They start out with too many. Yes, and then they do two like just a guy.

Yeah. And then they say, wait a minute. They do four too unwieldy. Then they do two, he falls over. And they go, we need at least one more for balance. Yes. Like a tripod. Yeah, like when you go more than one.

And that one is when they – the third one is when they give him the big, you know. I feel – now here's the danger with this game is you could end up playing a different game, which I think is what we're doing right now, which is where we're trying to solve the riddle. Building monster. Yeah, it's less about that. It's more about, very simple question,

is that a riddle that exists already or did I just make that riddle up? Okay, okay. Well, which one is it? Well, that's what you have to, you tell me. Oh, wow. What do you say? So I am answering a riddle up. Okay. Okay. Well, which one is it? Well, that's what you have to, you tell me. Oh, wow.

What do you say? I am answering a riddle. In a manner, you're more answering a question than a riddle. You're answering a question about a riddle. If that makes sense. A little bit. Uh,

well, if it's, yeah it seemed it doesn't seem to me and this could be even considered a strategy what i've done so far because it doesn't seem like you really know the answer which means it probably is not a let me you know it doesn't seem like it's let me stop you right there go ahead it's really i my apologies if I have been unclear. It's really not about answering the riddle. No, I know, but I've said some answers and it didn't seem like you knew them, so that makes it seem like maybe it's not even your own riddle.

Oh, I see. Okay, please, continue with that. That's great. That's great. Now you're playing the game. This is great. So it's maybe – because if you made it up, you probably would know the answer. Do you agree, Hayes?

I just remembered where this is from. And I do know this riddle from before. Now, Sean hasn't answered yet. Sean hasn't answered yet. So you're giving him. That's changing my. You want to help him? Yes, but I could be lying too.

I'm not. It's from the end of Krippendorf's Tribe. Starring Richard Dreyfuss and Jenna Elfman? Mm-hmm. It's like... Sci-ti. It's like, because I was watching, I was looking at this the other day. Krippendorf's Tribe?

Yes. And this is actually going to distract me because the whole time No, keep going. Who was supposed to be his mom in that? Oh. Jen Elfman, I thought. Okay, I thought it was one of the natives.

Okay. That's why it's his tribe, right? Because his mom's one of those natives so he technically that's what i'm saying oh so his mother is one of the natives i thought i mean it's been so he's half crippled it's been a while it's actually i'll be honest it's been a while since i've seen it maybe a week and a half and so i don't actually remember exactly what happened with his mom in it i've only ever seen the poster and I thought that.

Yeah, because he's lifting up and you think like he's lifting up his mom. Yeah. You think he's lifting up his mom. Yes. Absolutely. But then they kiss. But maybe in that tribe, that's not a weird thing. I know.

And that's what's so messed up. Well, but, but I mean, you can't, that's, that's another culture. messed up well but but i mean you can't that's that's another culture that's not our culture so who are we well here's why i asked because my dvr cut off the last like 45 cut off the last like 45 minutes so you only saw the first 20 yeah it's did you not did you do record a schedule very short movie record as scheduled or did you do you add extra time yeah a lot of times to add extra time a lot of times they won't give you that prompt unless it's a live broadcast so you have to kind of remember hey because of the way these cable companies schedule things maybe this movie will end at you know 207 instead

of at two and you know but here's what's interesting about that. Maybe whatever program is on before is a live thing. So then if that had the extra 15 minutes, then it pushes back the movie. It pushes everything back. Then you miss the last 45 minutes of Krippendorf's Tribe. Yes. So did I win or what happened with the game? I don't know if you guessed.

Was it a real riddle or did I make it up? You didn't say definitively, I don't think. Okay. Okay. So your guess is? Okay, good job. I mean, yeah, I think, yeah. Now I guess. I think you nailed it I mean, yeah, I think, yeah. Now I guess.

I think you nailed it. Yes, now you're going to guess, yeah. I'm going to guess that it's an existing riddle. Okay. The answer is it is an existing riddle. And it's from? It's from, I believe, Krippendorf's tribe? Yes.

Yes. That must be where I got it. I think I gleaned it from the poster. So is the answer a monster and you've been playing coy or what is the – I'm not going to – I tell you what. I'm not going to tell you the answer to the riddle because that – I feel that's another game. And I want to keep – I want for the listener – I'm going to look it up.

You know, people who are listening to this because they've come from Comedy Bang Bang, I don't want it to get muddied. What has four legs in the morning? In the morning. Legs. Four legs in the morning. Two legs in the afternoon. Hashtag riddle. And then three legs in the evening.

Three legs in the evening. Two legs in the afternoon. A sphinx? That is a monster. It's true. That's what you said. So, yeah. Here's what I don't think works about this game.

It seems like lying is a big part of it. And the rules keep changing. And then you're lying during a big part of the game. Guys, when did I lie? When did I lie, honestly? When did I lie? Well, you said it wasn't a monster. I never said that. I never said that.

He said, is it a monster? And you said that that was wrong. I said that was not the point of the game. Boy. I wasn't rendering a judgment on whether or not it was a monster so comedy bang bang fans thanks for coming to our show from their show let me catch you up apparently the game is uh everybody lies to each other and then i get called stupid in the middle of it and that's the fucking game that you guys like that ended up being i got a feeling maybe you're not going to like this show

because actually a lot of my friends are on this show and we do have friendships that we like to maintain and it's the lying that bothers me. Bing! That clip was out of sight. Man, that was the coolest. Sometimes people come on Hollywood Handbook to read from scripts that they're trying to workshop

on their own time. Movie people, famous comedy, writing, doing movie script, reading it on the show. Engineer Rashid, do you have a movie script? I don't. What would it be called if you did have one? Hmm. That's actually a very good question. I guess movies that don't suck.

That's the name of your movie is movies that don't suck? Okay. Yes, it's the name. We could try it out. You think we could pull some good actors and actresses for that? Well, I guess if you sent them an email saying, I want you to be in a movie called Movies That Don't Suck. Is it not appealing?

They would be intrigued. Maybe even, what about a movie called good movies so that's my note that's what don't shake your head that's my that's my note on your script it shouldn't be called movies that don't suck it should be called good movies and sometimes even a great movie why don't you like that it's better it's better than just not sucking so standard like like who wants to be in a good movie You just want to be in a movie that is not suck? Okay. Well, I think this is probably the life for you is my diagnosis.

I think it's engineering from this point forward. Brian Husky came on this show, and he read a script that he was workshopping called Teen Pope, and this is that on reality show Hollywood Handbook. Clips are my food. And so we thought you've got all these scripts in the pipeline you're doing. Yeah. A lot of stuff in the works.

We'd take one of our notes meetings where we do a table read of your script before we do notes and just do it here tonight. We asked our listeners for some suggestions over which of your scripts they'd like us to read. And Toby Keith Sweat gave us a really strong one, I think, which is Teen Pope. Oh, wow. Okay. That's good. Now, did he give any kind of contact information to him as to whether if we take this idea?

Because we, right now, as he knows, you saying that on this podcast, he is out of this process. Yes. Because we're in the room when we've made this agreement to flesh this out. Yes, that's implied. We've got all the papers right here. Okay. He's sitting at home in fucking kansas or like uh living wisconsin or something yeah exactly like a field or something yeah uh and it's gonna be such a

thrill for him just to have heard hayes say his name i don't think he would want any financial compensation yeah that's true i mean i guess yeah i mean if you it's a piece of shit life that this is probably like the biggest thrill for that so congratulations to him it's just standing at sears or something and playing like our podcast yeah well his in fucking missouri he's gonna dine out on this for a decade yeah yeah it's gonna cover up those scars of what happened to him oh and when he dines out, it's like a fucking Applebee's or some shit. And that's the truth. Yeah.

So, congratulations, Toby. This is a big moment. All right, let's see what we got. Should we get into Teen Pope? I think so. Okay. I think so. I'll just open at the top scene.

We open in a teenage bedroom where Jason Attitude is lying on his stomach on his bed. He's listening to punk music. You have a music cue here. I hope that's what I hear. Okay, so Jason Attitude is listening to punk music. He's lying on his bed. He's reading a book about girls.

And he's talking to himself as he reads the book. Okay, cool. All right, let's see. Knock at the door. What? Son? There's some people from the church down here that want to talk to you.

Oh, man. Jason spits into a spittoon. Skateboards down the stairs. Whoa. Do you? Oh, man. Jason spits into a spittoon. Ting! Skateboards down the stairs. Whoa! Opens the door. Standing there is Father Silvio, an old man in long robes and a bald head.

Excuse me. Are you the young man we are looking for? and a bald head. Excuse me. Are you the young man we are looking for? I freaking guess so. Please, son. Tell me your name. Jason Attitude. Why? Who wants to know?

Well, from now on, you're going to be Pope Attitude. What? And then it says sound cue. Oh, yeah. Sound cue. What did you have in mind for that? It just says cool song.

Cool song. I was thinking, right there, I personally and this is sort of the notes thing that's already started. I would just do a big bass. Oh, okay. That's what you mean by cool song yeah okay from now on because it says that a lot in the script and from now on because that is a song i mean a composer would write that we we would have to get a guy who it's an instrument and it's playing a note i mean that's a song well everybody be like oh you're gonna get the guy who did this all the seinfeld stuff it's like no there there's

a different way of doing this and for movies and tv as far as that kind of bass sound uh let let's cut to uh what it says in the script cut to interior sistine chapel okay uh where jason attitude is is turn the pages is uh being given a tour of the sistine chapel by father syl. Wait, wait, wait. Did you guys see this page with the chase around the fountain? That was 62? Great action scene. That is such a funny scene. Great action scene.

We'll get to that one. Okay. So, this is the Sistine Chapel. Who are those two queerzos on the roof, man? Those guys are touching each other in their underwear. Not cool.

That is a man and the Lord himself. Oh. Sorry. Wait a minute. What is that painted on the Lord's crotch? Who put this big phallus upon the Lord's crotch? Hey, man, it's scientifically accurate. Pope Attitude, now I'm angry.

The doors to the Sistine Chapel swing open, and hundreds of Pope Attitude's teenage friends storm in, and they begin having the school dance in the Sistine Chapel. No, no, no, no, that's a relic. No, don't get off of there. Do not scrub on that thing. What are you two doing?

The dirty dancing? Check out my twerking. And then it's a, this is a, I will say this about the movie. The 14th montage, I thought, was maybe too many. Maybe too. Did you feel that way?

I thought the first 12 helped the story enormously. Like, it moved it along. There's so much. First, he's not good at doing a lot of the blessings, and then you quickly are able to see him start to learn how to sort of move the smoky lantern-y thing. Is the 14th one, it's just grinding? It's like grinding at the dance?

Is that the point? It's grinding at the dance. It's one of the jocks spikes the punch, and then one of the nerds takes a sip and makes a face like, what the? I guess my problem is all of the other 12 montages told us something about this new world he was in. We get to see how the Pope get dressed,

how he eats his cereal, how he walks down all the hallways, you know, how he, that one wretched, all the wretched people, that hilarious thing with all the wretched people coming in. And he like peeled off that one guy's skin and held it up and went, P. so funny yes but but at the same time so funny but so true to that world like it's really you know well a teenager in that situation yeah is not gonna

have the maturity to handle a man's skin peeling off in his hand no and it probably wouldn't smell very good sorry yeah well but again uh pope attitudes uh strongest at like thing that the thing that moves the story is his honesty yeah he's as honest as anyone can be in that situation you know except for all the scenes where he is lying yeah because he is leading he has told his crush that he's an atheist. Right. Prior to becoming the Pope, to seem cool. And then they deface that shrine where they just destroy it. Well, she catches him in his Pope robes.

Yeah. Should we cut to that scene where they deface the shrine? Yes. Okay, let's do that. All right, I'll be her soon. Whoa! Sorry. Oh, man, how'd I get in these clothes?

I guess as a goof, I put them on. What are you doing? Hold on a second. Are you about to take this shrine and fucking fuck it up? Oh, yeah. I wasn't going to honor it in any way. I just wanted to mess it up. Hey, come on.

Here, help me smear this glue stick all over it. Hells yeah. Father Silvio suddenly enters wearing his nightshirt. What is going on here? I can't believe you. You're in a pop attitude. Yeah, pretty girl. Uh, who is going on here? I can't believe you're in a pop attitude. Hey, pretty girl. Uh,

who is this old guy? Let's split. What do you mean who is this old guy? It's me, Silvio. Why are you acting this way, pop attitude? Come on, man. I'm trying to get buried in the puss.

Oh, I did not know that you had feelings for her. Okay, I will play along. Hey, I don't know you so good, but that's okay. You guys can mess up this church. It's for everybody. Hey, let's stab

him. So sorry I have to do this, Father Silvio. you get that poos yeah and then and then I like that the blood wash to the next scene yeah what a great transition just a visually

cool sort of Walter Mitty style storytelling technique a lot of times the writer doesn't have that, doesn't make those choices. But if they put it in there, you have to sort of say, yeah, that really does work. Because then it goes from that to him washing the blood off his hands. Pope Attitude washing the blood off his hands. And then she's, I mean, I like that they didn't have the sex scene that they showed afterwards and stuff. She was fully naked.

They said you can fully see her sweet, sweet poon. Yeah, I know that. But it was artistically done because there's no penetration. It's just because that would be gay because you'd have to see wood and that would be gay. Yeah, and so it does. It's in keeping, I think, with the church's views and that was important to me about this script

that it's not going to offend Catholics. I mean, it's a fantasy about becoming the Pope and honoring Christianity by not looking at another man's wood. Right. But, you know, whatever actress takes this part

has got to be a brave, committed actress who's willing to spread her legs as wide as she can go and show every single bit of it, because that's exactly word for word what it says in the action line. And that says the camera goes all the way in. Which is a cool way to transition to the next scene,

which I thought was great. It goes to the tennis tournament. Yeah, I'd like to talk about the final scene. The big state championship doubles match where the old southern judge, who happens to also be the tennis coach, sort of pulls

Pope Attitude aside. Okay, should we cut to that scene? I'd love to. I don't know if you can do this. I don't know if you've got the stuff inside of you, Rick Paul DeSantis. I just don't know what you can do this. I don't know if you've got the stuff inside of you, Nick Porter's ass. I just don't know what to do. It's like, it's such a low percentage shot for me to take a backhand down the sideline into the doubles alley when we both know that the center of the net is a full three inches

shorter than either side. And also I'm buying myself maybe four feet of space by going cross court. But at the same time, that's not a clean winner. I mean, I'm just going to trap us in another rally. And this guy's lob is beautiful. He's got a ton of topspin on it and I can't chase it down. Kid, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about you pulling it off and being a good Pope for once.

I don't know if you got it in you. Anyway, win the tournament. Pope attitude. It says here, my favorite song swells. Anyway, win the tournament. Pope Attitude says here, my favorite song, Swells. Let's do that. Pope Attitude strides out onto the court and does a flip of his tennis racket. Add in.

He bounces the ball twice on the floor of the tennis court It says floor of the tennis court And then does The most amazing tennis move I sure hope this is what Would Jesus do Would do He's doing it

I can't get it He's doing it And then he cuts the silver I can't get it He's doing it He's doing it The other guy falls down Trying to get the ball Pope Attitude wins the tournament Huh

Thanks Christ Hey don't thank Christ. He didn't have anything to do with it. This was all you, Attitude. You really pulled it off this time. Now I'm going to die of cancer. But I'm okay with that.

Because you showed me the way. See you in heaven, coach. Pope Attitude's girlfriend runs over and they get married. Hey, what's going on here? A tournament or a marriage? The poon's going to be even sweeter now that we're in a blessed union. You mean Mrs. Pope poon. Huh?

The screen fades to black. A title card appears that reads, Popes should get married. Again, coming back to educating us about the church and everything they have. Here's my only note about the tournament. There is no mention of it at any point until we're at that scene. Yes. They're just at the tournament.

There's no setup. I didn't know who his coach was. I didn't know he was dying of cancer. You could kind of tell from his voice i think that something like he was definitely sick that's not a healthy man's voice but it was distracting and did you also did you like because if you liked it i could be persuaded but that his double partner is in a wheelchair. Yeah. I liked it in the sense of it made me react really strongly both ways, that I hated it and I liked it.

But I think it's – what I've had, you know, notes wise, what feedback I've gotten, it's, it's a terrible choice. So it's just, I guess it comes down to, is it a choice? If it's a terrible choice, do you stick with that choice? And then does it become a,

a great choice? So it's about choices. Yeah. Yeah. Um, one thing I liked, uh, a lot of people don't know this the

bloopers that you see in the credits are written in the scripted to the script yeah and I thought these were some of the best bloopers I had seen should we go to that should we do that scene yeah yeah okay yeah let's read some just it says the blooper song plays, let me play that. Okay, so what you want to do here, this is the holy water. You pour it into the thing. Okay, hold on, I'm spilling. Oh, oh, looks like, hey, what's our budget for water?

Oh, it's getting all over me. Wardrobe. So sorry. Looksrobe. So sorry. Looks like I peed my pants. Did you? And then, okay, here we go again. Oh, Pope Attitude, you're so beautiful. I just want to touch your face.

Wait, oh, uh-oh. Touch your nose by accident. Sorry. Ow, what the hell? Sorry. It looks like I peed my pants just now. Hey, did somebody say something about peeing your pants? I don't know if I really cut out to be the poop, but I mean, the poop.

Hey, did somebody pee their pants? I think I peed my pants. Okay, this is what's great. This is a runner. This is what's known as a bloopers runner. And that is you get that in Cannonball Run with the hat and Dom DeLuise. And now you've got this great I peed my pants thing which is just like It's like a whole nother movie.

It is. And is that the intention that because we just read a few of them. There was another 120 pages of bloopers. Bloopers much longer than the script. Yes.

And you could see how much fun they were having on the set. of bloopers. Bloopers much longer than the script, yes. And you could feel how much fun they were having on the set. There were new characters. A lot of new characters. And it sort of follows its own plot arc where some of the characters of the bloopers are introduced and die.

And much bigger stars in the bloopers. People that you could really sell a movie on. Robert Downey Jr. does a lot of the bloopers. Yeah, and there's a whole thing to go to the Middle East. And it's... Very expensive set pieces. But again, some choices were made. And that's just what you have to do.

You have to make choices. Bing! Mmm, that was a yummy clip to eat. Loving it. Sean, are you enjoying the clip show over there ain't you got any hobbies oh i guess uh engineer rashidi he wants to know if you have any hobbies um i have many hobbies besides engineering i like basketball that's fun okay let's finish this man to man oh i guess he wants to play you man-to-man. Does he?

In basketball. Pretty sure he'll lose. Well, he doesn't want you to get so angry with him, I guess, about... I'm sorry. About basketball. Oh, it's Engineer Rashid, Sean. His name's Rashid. It's Engineer Rashid. you got any hobbies okay i

think we just have to leave him he's he eats a lot of kicks with fresca and it makes it kind of makes his brain go in a loop sometimes on the show it's not just talking about movies, TV show, book. Sometimes we have music as well. Like the one time when we did have that, when Michael Cronin, the famous musician came on our show, signed to our label, Gojira Records. Engineer Rashid, do you like music? I like music a lot. It's not for me personally, but some people I know really do love it. and this segment for music loving is for those people on Hollywood Handbook. Bing! Would you like a clip? Yeah, so it's really hard to make a living as a musician.

It's hard to make bucks. But it's not your music really right now that we're as interested in because you're not really selling music right now, are you? No, it doesn't feel that way. Is it really more of a face and body that we're as interested in because you're not really selling music right now, are you? No. Is it really more of a face and body that we're selling these days? Right. Yeah. I mean, think about the top musicians who are selling music. Mm-hmm.

Billy Joel. Mm-hmm. Right? Yes. Neil Young. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Who else? Mary J. Blige. right yes neil young uh-huh who i mean who else j blige mary j blige um 112 yeah and i think jodeci's doing some stuff that's

pretty interesting right now but i don't know if it's going to catch on so to me what do they all have in common what do they what's the same about all of them um they look good yes don't be shy you want to fuck them i mean they're fuckable and it's you know that's true it's it it's i mean that's part of it isn't it michael it's kind of you know you don't you don't want to come out and say it upright, but it's just kind of, yeah. But say it. We're going to need you to say it. Yeah, we're going to need you to say it. We're going to have to hear you say it.

Talk about what you want to do to one of those guys. Neil Young. Neil Young. He's been looking good for 40 years at least. Yeah. Yeah. And, like, he's an old, distinguished man now. And you want to.

I feel like he's been. I would. I would fuck Neil Young. Yes. Thank you. Yes. Was that so hard? And that really makes me think this guy's got a future in the music business.

Yes. And so right now, we look at you right now. You have bugs on you. Your hair is in shredded tatters. It's like bits of rope, I think. Yes. But we can do something with you and turn you into a sort of Neil Young type that people are interested in fucking. A sex symbol. Yes.

And one thing we want to dissuade you of is you've talked a lot about wanting to write songs and play songs. Yes. And like make an album. Right. And that doesn't seem like the right direction for a musician right now, does it? I guess not. Because you say it's hard to sell albums. Yeah.

I mean, I guess I'm missing something. I don't know. I think it started with ever since on Celebrity Jeopardy, Sean Connery mistook the words an album cover for anal bum cover. It's been hard a little bit to take music seriously since then, hasn't it? Yeah. You could say that. I don't know.

It's a little confusing right now how to make it, how to get. Did you see that episode of Jeopardy? I did not see that. No, I don't. I couldn't believe they had invited him back because he'd made similar mistakes. But I think he's just a popular celebrity Jeopardy character. And I think that they really shot themselves in the foot because then the Jeopardy album they released the following year didn't do well, and it just felt silly. And so to me, the real money is going to be in soundtracks.

Yes. Scoring. Yeah. You know, not scoring like scoring with Neil Young, like getting to have sex with that guy, but just scoring like the score, like the sound score. Yeah, okay. I can see that. So maybe what we could do today is... Surprise,

Michael. We've signed you to your first gig. And it's doing the score of the show Da Vinci's Demon. Which we love. It's on... Obsessed with. It's on, I believe, Stars.

It's a good network, yeah. And it's a show about one of the best networks going for original work. Young Leonardo da Vinci, who was an artist and a magician. Yes, among other things, because he

invented, I think, you know, flying. And he has these demons. Yes. And they each sit on one shoulder and one is good. And tells him what to paint. Yes. And the other one is bad and tries to trick him. Tells him not to paint.

And tries to trick him into not painting. Yes. Okay. And they both have pitchforks. Not the pitchfork magazine like you know about. Yes. It's not your stupid hipster bullshit. Like real pitchforks from America.

None of this. Somebody help! Wah, wah, wah, boo, boo, boo. Wah, wah, wah, boo, boo, boo. You know what I mean? Yes. None of that. And so we thought what we could do is you could make sure you have your gloves on. You know what I mean? Yes. None of that.

And so we thought what we could do is you could make sure you have your gloves on. You could pick up my guitar. And you could... We're going to just describe a Da Vinci's Demon scene and you play the score for it. Yes. Okay. Yeah, I can give it a shot. It sounds like an interesting show. Well, no need to show off.

And we'll describe the scene and then you'll play. It's not the time for doing little guitar tricks and stuff. We're trying to, you know. I got excited because this isn't just a shoebox. Shoebox with rubber bands. With rubber bands. And one what looked like maybe a hair elastic. So this is the scene where Da Vinci has woken up

and he's eating his eggs and bakey and he's going to sit down to do his painting. Mm-hmm. And a devil is going, hey, cut that out. Mm-hmm. And another devil. Yeah. So it's a transition from a happy morning song to a scary demon song.

Okay. Okay. Okay. So let's hear what would a happy morning song sound like in waking up to the day, and the day has so much potential, and you're going to eat a nice big breakfast. Okay, we'll start. Nice major chord. Good morning to Da Vinci

Can you kind of go from there? Yes, that's really nice. That's good for the start, yeah. And then I guess just a few lyrics about what he's eating for breakfast. Hamburger sandwich. He wants a hamburger sandwich as well. Very good. And now, when you get into the scary part,

so you'll sort of blend from the happy morning song into the scary stuff, and when something starts being scary, you say, uh-oh. And then you announce the demon's presence. So now this would be like a dark sort of gothic song. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Oh no! Oh no!

And then the demon's voice, he has to tell Da Vinci not to paint in the scariest voice. You can't paint. Bullshit man. Okay, okay. Michael? Michael? Michael?

That felt like it was starting to get a little bit off track and maybe some of the language we're using is not what we're used to on stars. Stars, yeah. I'm sorry I got carried away. Yes, you did. But doesn't this feel better than some of, you were writing like these songs, you know?

Yeah, it feels okay. Yeah, and better than what you were doing, huh? And you almost feel like Neil Young when you're doing this. I, I, um, yeah, no, I could, I could get used to it, I think. Yeah. Used to living your dreams? If, um, it's not how I imagine, honestly. But I mean, I just have had a hard time.

So I'll do, you know. What did you want in life? That's a big question. I thought it was about writing songs like we were talking about, writing good songs, like progressing. Oh. Go ahead. Go ahead.

No, I guess I was just confused. I thought I wanted to write good songs. I wanted to make good records and play shows. We do a segment called Eh Wrong sometimes on our show, and this kind of stuff would be perfect for that. Because I'm looking at you and I'm thinking with a fresh coat of paint, you know, this is a real, this is a Billy Joel type. And potentially.

Haircuts. You know. Or at least wash. Like a human sealant. Some kind of varnish or, yeah, something to, some kind of weather protectant. Because you're, I mean, you look, you know, it's not good. No, I know. I know.

Let's do the scene where Da Vinci's in the big bicycle race. I think for this scene, do you know Shine? Shine. By Collective Soul. i'm not familiar how's that go well he's in a bicycle he's in a bicycle race to paint the picture you know like lance armstrong's got some horns and he's coming up around the corner behind him he's one of the he's playing one of the demons we have him for one day oh yes okay and it's kind of's playing one of the demons. We have him for one day. Yes. And it's kind of cool because of the way he's perceived now that we got that in place.

We have him for as long as it takes for him to bike through. He's going to be in the middle of a different race that he's doing, and we just have to be ready to film him as he bikes. And hopefully Da Vinci's there that time. And then so Da Vinci's driving, and then we're going to hear some shine and then some stuff about bikes. Yes. Do you not know that song?

I don't know. It goes. Yeah. Yeah. I get. I get. Bike way. I get, I get... And you're cheering on Da Vinci. Just exciting.

Yes. So then he's winning, but then I guess there would be a change in tone. And now Lance has passed him, and Da Vinci's got a bad cramp. Go! Bike, bike! Bike, bike! Okay. And that's almost pretty good. That's first draft. And it felt a little like Shine.

Should we do, we have that one more scene. What's that last scene that we have to do okay so this is sort of this is the scene that we needed to score uh because it's going to air tomorrow i think this episode and um so da vinci's won the spelling bee and his dad is you know there with with the trophy his dad's the headmaster. And he's giving him the trophy. And across the way, he sees the girl. And it's, of course, it's Marie Antoinette. And he's looking at her because we are in history, you know, still.

And he's looking at her because we are in history, you know, still. Right. And he's looking at her and then a demon is coming to punch her, you know, right in the stomach. And so there's a couple of things happening where he's victorious. That's good. Kind of a sweet moment with his dad. Kind of a romantic thing when he sees the girl. And then it's, of course, because it is demons, Da Vinci's demons, it does get scary and a demon does come to do something mean. But then this is the end of the episode.

And so he rescues the girl. Yes. And then they consummate that relationship. And they do kind of what someone would ideally do with Neil Young or, you know, whatever else. And we wanted to have a feel, just some references. If you know the song Come Monday by Jimmy Buffett, that could be a good area to work from.

Do you know Inside Out by Eve Six? If you know Rich Girl, I'd love to hear just a couple pieces of that. Rich Girl, who's that? Is that Jimmy Buffett? No, Rich Girl's Hall of Notes and then... Oh, this is going to be hard. The Eve Six song is good. And then what was that song by the Refreshments?

I'm not sure. It's good. The video they were like in the desert. What's who's coming in? Hello. Hello. Oh, hi. Okay. Doesn't seem like that would be our problem, but it is. Oh, hi Okay

Doesn't seem like that would be our problem But it is Sorry about that Is Cody stealing cable? Engineer Cody Is trying to get the Time Warner guys To wire the cable from our studio Into his apartment

If he has one Engineer Cody, sit down the Time Warner guys to wire the cable from our studio into his apartment. Into his house. If he has one. And you're Cody. Sit down. Come back in the room and sit down. Was that the Time Warner cable man and he just knocked on the door to come see you? Yeah, that's true. And is it true that you're trying to force him

to take the wires for the cable at Earwolf Studios and wire them into your house so you can watch TV for free. No. No, it's not because you don't have a house. But you're going to put the cable in the elevator and you're going to sleep in the elevator at night

and have your TV there. And that's not fair, Cody. Now, is that true? No. Okay, that took a long time. I think it was a very long time to say. And we were about to do a big good song, and now we gotta deal with this.

And it's embarrassing in front of the French film crew that wants to make a movie about us. Michael, will you just confirm that there is a French film documentary crew? There is, yeah. Got a couple cameras. I mean, they might think you're joking, but I guess they should consult the film documentary crew. There is, yeah. Got a couple cameras. Yep. I mean, they might think you're joking,

but I guess they should consult the pictures on the website. Yeah, they'll see it's the real deal. They're very distinctly French-looking. Yes. Do you know Little Lion Man? Who did that one? Mumford & Sons? Mumford & Sons.

I don't... Little Lion Man. This is going to drive me crazy. I don't listen to a lot of music. I'm sorry. Doesn't listen to music. Do you know... Do you know Bubble Toes? Bubble Toes.

Yeah. The Jack Johnson song. Bubbly Toes? Oh, he's doing Colby Kelly. That's good, too. What songs do you know? You know Love Fool by the Cardigans? I know that one, yeah.

Ooh, ooh, ooh. I get a better one. What about Kiss Me by Sixpence and the Richer? I know that one. Yeah! Yes! Kiss Me by Sixpence and the Richer. I know that one. Yeah. Yes. So this is when he sees his girlfriend. He sees his girlfriend.

Okay. Okay. Guess we should change it a little bit so it won't get sued. Yes. Well, Kiss Me kind of sounds like Da Vinci, and I don't want to. Okay. Da Vinci, and I don't want to... Okay. Da Vinci, see that girl Da Vinci, go and get that girl My demons and

Be very careful Finchie Try for that demon Finchie Look out for that girl Okay. Something like that. That's really very nice.

Very sad. If we could just play it. Now the demon comes up and he's going to punch him. Just the Mission Impossible theme for like two seconds. What? Mission Impossible theme. Okay, good. And then he punched the demon out, and now it's just the final erotic flourish of the show.

No. 24 Finching Gonna get some Mind the demons Thank you. That's close. That's damn close. That's very, very close. That's close. That's damn close. That's very, very close. It's close.

And we didn't need any big machine noises to do it, did we? You know, we didn't. Yes, we didn't need any of that. That's not music anymore, and that's going to feel so dated later. It's about. This is forever. Instrumentation. Guitars are forever.

Autotune is not an instrument, little Wayne. Sorry, T-Pain. You don't want to be a pain in your T-zone, but I've got bad news, you know? Autotune's not an instrument, like what Hayes said. Whose phone is buzzing? Michael. WTF, Cody. Thank thank you michael thank you so much michael thank you for being here thanks for the opportunity you don't have a popcorn gallery thing because you're not really movie guy yet we're gonna make you one yeah it would have to be i don't even know what's a music food rock corn gallery uh't. Please don't.

That's good, but we can't use it because you came up with it. Yes. If anything, write that down. Slide it to Hayes. He says it. Then he's the hero. But we can't have, on our own show, we can't have you come up with that. No, it's really fucking good.

I can't top it. It's the best shit I've ever heard. Well, I can't pitch anything now. You said Rock Corn Gallery. That's fucking awesome. Nice. You know, that's a snack you eat at the concert it's a rock corn that's fucking great i'll be running pretty much everything through you guys in the label from now on i hope so yeah gojira records gojira look out it is gojira! Aw, the clip's over? Killer.

Coming up, we have a segment with Tracy Wigfield. She is a writer for Mindy Project, and she does comedy. And she's also the winner of an Emmy Award. Engineer Rashid, do you have an Emmy Award? I don't. You know, they give them for sound sometimes, is my understanding. Emmys?

They give it for sound? I think they have some that's best TV sound. Oh, that's awesome. I should probably try that out. Go for it. Well, I would say if at this point you don't have one, it's unlikely. What's your favorite TV sound?

My favorite TV sound? That's actually kind of a hard one. I used to watch all them shows. I mean, as of right now, I'm stuck on the whole DC wave. So I guess I'm watching The Flash and Arrow. Okay. Those are okay. And they do have some good sounds on there when Flash goes.

There you go. I guess that's an easy sound. And the Arrow sound is good where it goes. That's it. Why don't you have an Emmy for that one, man? I don't put my name on them. When I do sound, I don't put. Would you like me to use your name when I do my TV sound from now on?

I think. That would be great. And then we could share the Emmy. Can we do that? I don't. Do you we can share the Emmy. Can we do that? I don't. Do you want to share the Emmy? After someone else has touched it, I don't want to touch it. You know?

Oh. I'll touch it first, but then it's yours because it's going to have all of the other. I got to take that. The leftovers from you. The germies on it. Yeah. So I'm going to have like a leftover Emmy. Have you ever watched the show The Leftovers?

I have. There's good sound on that too. He's like, why did all the people go away? Where is everybody? He's pounding the wall. He's like super upset. This is Tracy Wigfield, Emmy winning on Hollywood Handbook. Free me.

I have feelings. Yes, let's reach into the bag and find the question hopefully it'll be from bozos okay oh it's uh my own wiener i guess i'm not allowed to have a writing job because i have a male organ and And so now for five years, I have to just go commit crimes. Okay, so... And this is a question that is specific to someone like, this is Sean's friend Mark from high school. My friend Mark from high school records these sound drops.

Oh, okay. And he is the kind of person who is making the choice right now between... A life in entertainment and a life in the seedy underbelly of the criminal tricking somebody into finding a queen or a walnut shell under a under a cup yes gotcha you did find the bozos question uh yes it was in there the question is tracy what's it like to be popular how do you choose which people to like you know, it's hard because a lot of people want to hang out with me.

I get invited to a lot of parties. I get invited to a lot of events. And so what I do is I say I'm coming to everything. I always say yes. I never go. I never go to anything. Yes, but you made people so happy when you said yes. I say yes, I'll be there. And then I never show up. So that's sort of how I never go to anything. Yes, but you made people so happy when you said yes. I say, yes, I'll be there.

And then I never show up. So that's sort of how I deal with being popular. It's interesting for you because so many of us now are coming from this kind of nerdish background. Like Sean and I and reading science books. Not me. And reading a comic. And you're sort of a typical glamour gal. Yeah, I'm what you would call like a glamour gal.

Yeah. And that's, it's interesting because you also felt like writing was a choice and maybe it is because you didn't live in these comic book worlds where you only escape from the uh viciousness of the bullies was to sort of imagine that you were a clark kent who you know was was a nerd. I mean, Clark Kent was a nerd. We don't talk about that. Yes. But had these super abilities.

That's right. I could have done any number of things. I, you know, modeling in Milan, London, all the great cities of Europe, modeling in Brazil, Mexico. Anywhere but America, I feel like you could have been a model, yes. No one was interested here. But in other cultures and countries. But I chose to do this because I enjoy it.

And here I am. What were you doing when some of us were reading about math? Yeah, yeah. What were you doing? I was partying. I was listening to the sounds of the city and dancing. You go shopping at the mall? Go shopping at the mall.

I was, yeah, I was shopping at the mall. Which store? Buying beautiful things for myself. The finest stores. Bergdorf, Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue. Where did you get your ears pierced? At a kiosk. That's real.

That's nice. That's real. That's real. It's all real. Here's a question in the bag we're going to find. Okay, I found a gun and a pencil. So which am I going to use, my gun or my pencil? Well, I guess the pencil's not a computer, so I can't be a writer.

Crack. Let's do this. Okay, so it seems like. It plays out in real time for us. Yes. And sometimes it's hard to see the effects of the choices you make. Yeah, sometimes we say things from our crystal towers, you know, and with our Bergdorf purchases,

and we don't necessarily realize that there's very real repercussions to the decisions we make. This question is from Anastasia Vigo, and her question is, how did it feel to win your Emmy? Oh, great. Really wonderful. My family was there.

It was a very nice experience. You guys won an Emmy. Art's not a competition. What? Art shouldn't be a competition. I can't hear you. Art shouldn't be a competition. I turned my Emmy into coins to distribute.

Into coins? Gold coins. You melted it down. Into gold coins. Now, did you guys realize when you won your Emmy, did you feel like it's much smaller than you thought it would be? Mine was very small. Very small. To the point where I don't know where it is.

Oh, that's interesting. You guys got one of the small ones. I did. You could fit it in your mouth. It is so small. Oh, that's interesting. You guys got one of the small ones. I did. Mine is, you could fit it in your mouth. Oh. It is so small. Oh, that could be a new kissy. And I don't want to step on the territory between you, but it feels like.

Don't start coming up with kissies. Trading an Emmy from one lips to another. Mine I would consider to be too big. Too big? I had to drive with my trunk open on the way home. You're kidding. And you strapped it down with a bungee? Yeah, so it's very dangerous, and you can't see out the back.

Oh, jeez. Did your guys fall apart? You just fell apart? Yeah, like when I went to touch it, the frigging arm fell off. And there was like, I don't know, there was like copper wire in there or something. Like it was all sticking out jagged and it just felt dangerous to have it around and mine was was your guys's one holding up i think it was supposed to hold be holding up like a globe of course oh mine was an orange pool ball it was yeah oh that feels

like they i think it was the four cheaped out or something the The four ball. Well, that's more fun, though. I guess. Did you try burying yours in the yard? Because I didn't know this, but if you bury it in the yard, a tree will grow. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Did you try that? It was like, it ended up being the stub hub tree. Oh, wow.

Oh, yeah. TheHub tree. Oh, wow. The funny tree. Mine, what came out of the ground, that was not a tree. What was it? It was like, okay, so I'm just going to describe what I saw. Okay, and we'll try to make heads or tails of it. Okay, there's a beam of light, and then there's some sort of metal bug. What?

And he shoots my dad with a laser. Was he okay? Thank God he is. Jesus Christ. But only because it just shot him In the bulletproof vest that he was already wearing Is he a cop? Not anymore After this incident? Or just unrelated?

No, just hasn't been one for a while He's not He's not of cop age really anymore Oh, I see But anyway, so I don't know exactly What it was But i would not call that a tree that metal bug and then it took off into the sky and then i'm reading the news yeah couple weeks later oh and uh you know bin laden's dead i don't know i don't know. I don't know. You think he did? I don't know.

Well, and your dad has that big scraggly beard. Your dad, yeah. So you think that was a misfire on your dad thinking it was Osama bin Laden? I don't. Honestly, I'm saying this. I'm not saying this to protect my- What did the bug say when he shot your dad with the laser beam? Take that. Okay. So that. Okay.

So that sounds like he could have been talking to Osama bin Laden. It's pretty open-ended. But it could have been. That would be, yeah, you'd be within your rights to say that to him. It definitely doesn't rule out that scenario. Yeah. No, it would be, you wouldn't be way out of line if you said take that. No.

To Osama. No. But you could say it to a lot of people. That's true. Let's reach into the bag. We'll find another new question. Just fill up the bag. Just fill up the bag.

Just do it. Just do it. Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this? You don't have to do this. Yes, I do, man. Yes, I do. I'm never going to write, man.

My only friends are the freaking Green Arrow and freaking the monster thing. Kid, just put down the gun. You don't have to do this. No, come on. Just fill up the bag. I'm going to really shoot. Oh! Oh, come on. Just fill up the bag. I'm going to really shoot. Oh! Oh, my God.

And it sounded like he was scared. He didn't even want to be doing it. But he had to. He had no other choice. Well, he had no other choice because how is he going to afford a computer? Just find a nickel to use the library. Yes. Here's a question from Jacob C.

Tracy, how would you describe your infamous I just wrote a funny joke victory dance? Oh, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, I mean, I just sing. I just wrote a joke. Well, let's do a joke first. What's a funny joke you did recently? A funny joke recently that's on the show. Mindy walks into a room and trips and falls face first into a garbage can.

Right? That got a big laugh. What's in the garbage can? Yeah. Like, when her head comes up, is there, like, a... There is a banana peel. Egg shell. There is an egg shell.

Big one over her whole head. Over her whole head. Yes. It's an Easter episode, so that's established earlier. Yeah. Yes. It's an Easter episode, so that's established earlier. Yes. It's an Easter episode. So that's like a, you know, that obviously got a big reaction in the room. It's funny.

I can't wait for that episode. Yeah. Well, wait till Easter because that's when it's going to be on. Great. What? That's when it's going to be on. Great. That's great for me.

Okay. Do you have something on Easter? What's your problem? He's saying he doesn't have something on Easter. Yeah, but the tone. Jesus Christ. No, what I said was- He said it was great.

What do you want him to say? What's wrong with you? What do you want to hear? Tell me. I'll say it. No, it's fine. I'm here to please you, your majesty. What do you want to hear?

Oh, my God. And so you do the joke. I'm so sorry. You do the funny joke. Yeah. Holy fucking shit. What? Oh, forget it.

You got a big attitude problem. Yeah, I guess so. From where I'm standing, you talked about your funny joke and he said it was great i'm trying to be i said great i said i can't wait to see it i said great again you know this is a writer there's a reader on every on every line of dialogue and his reader was jack the reader that i saw that i saw yeah was loving her loving her shit loving her shit. Loving her shit? Loving her shit. Yeah, parenthetical, loving her shit. Listen. Parenthetical, gonna watch.

Yes. Oh, well, I'm sorry then. I didn't take it that way. Loving her shit. Okay, well, the reader on that is not a great apology. Okay. Anyway. I mean, you're here.

You feel this. That's not true. Yes, and I see in Sean someone who I- You're going see in Sean someone who I recognize the kind of behavior he's doing. You have to see him tomorrow. Yes, and frankly, I think he looks like me. He has very similar facial hair right now and sort of sandy hair. Whereas I look at you, and it's like a different creature just in my lizard brain. Yeah, long brown hair.

Yes. Different face. Yes. This sort of reptilian part of my brain is just fighting to make any kind of sense of you and everything it's telling me is just danger, you know? Do not trust. Yes, fight or flight.

But instead I choose do podcast. What's a dance that you do? Yes, describe the dance. Mm-hmm. But instead, I choose do podcast. So... What's the dance that you do? Oh! Yes, describe the dance. Where did this begin? Yeah, so I... Could she describe the dance as the prize for our pro version?

Yes, I suppose. Because it is 101, and there is a pretty big podcast coming in behind us. Yes, and so you rate us on iTunes, and you like us on the forums and on Facebook. Like us on Facebook, talk to us on the forums, rate us on iTunes. And thank you so much, Tracy, for coming in.

Oh, thank you guys. Joining us on the show. And it's a good prize coming for Salad Jesse Raphael, the person who bought the pro version this week. Thank you so much. Really good pro version

coming your way. And Tracy's going to describe for you her joke dance. Yeah, when I tell a good joke, I say, fuck you, motherfuckers. I told the best joke. And then I stand very, very erect, and I kick myself in the butt. Bye. Bye.

Bing. I enjoyed that clip most of all. Wow, all right. That was a really fun clip. Let me just reach into the bag and get the next one. Oh, my God. We're out of clips. Engineer Rasheed, what happened to the other clips?

I think I got rid of them while, you know, like at commercial break. I just went and just deleted the rest of them, honestly. Why? Because you have to go home? It's only 2 2 30 in the morning engineer rashid honestly i gotta get out of here what do you have to do i came here with just uh the mentality to do work and then you pulled me into the show like i had no clue that i was going to be here talking or being a guest speaker this is not what i do this is not my job people

i don't know why he brought me into this. It's over. Well, thanks so much for being a guest on the show. I'm going to say that you were Steve Harvey. Is that okay? Are you a fan of his? Steve Harvey is very cool. I'll take that.

Is that okay if I just say? Because we need to advertise this is our episode after Comedy Bang Bang. We need to say that we got a really, really good guest. So I'm going to promote this one by saying that Steve Harvey is a guest. And could you just say, like, something like, I'm Steve Harvey. I really love comedy. Not Comedy Bang Bang. Don't say that. Say Hollywood Handbook.

Got it. Got it. You ready? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Say Hollywood handbook. Got it. Got it. You ready? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sorry. I was supposed to be doing it in whisper mode. Okay.

Yeah. Sorry. Go ahead. All right. Hey, ladies and gentlemen, this is Steve Harvey. I'm here. Shit, shit, shit. Let's rehearse.

Let's rehearse. Okay. We should have rehearsed it. Yeah. Because it's good to say that you're here. I think that you saying I'm here is right because's good to say that you're here i think that you saying i'm here is right because they need to know where you are but uh i think you should also say i love being on the show um and uh and uh hayes we let's be friends after this

not just for the show but let's continue to be friends afterwards. Like a long relationship type. Yes, that's great. That's perfect. So Steve, thank you so much for being on the show. Did you have a good time? Hey guys, I had a great time with Hayes, man. This is Steve Harvey. And you know, I love this show.

And once it finishes, we're just going to go hang out, man. Me and Hayes, we're going to be the best of friends. All right, guys, Come check it out. Steve Harvey. Okay. And Sean, anything you want to say to the guys? Don't take the piss. It's my fucking money.

That's not really the note that I wanted to. I think he's really on a loop, honestly. You guys got to get that checked out. Thanks a lot for listening to the show. We're not giving out the pro version for this episode because it's an unusual episode in many ways. Listen to us, iTunes. Like us on the forums.

Bye. Say bye, Rashid. I'm Steve Harvey. This has been an Earwolf Media production. I'm Steve Harvey. Boom.com. The wolf dead. That was a HeadGum Podcast.