Hollywood Handbook - Moshe Kasher, Our Comic-Con Friend

Episode Date: July 22, 2019

MOSHE KASHER returns to the show to do a very special commentary episode with The Boys. This episode is sponsored by Raycon (www.buyraycon.com/theboys) and Honey (www.joinhoney.com/theboys)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. the roll that beautiful bean footage dog and and Diane von Furstenberg and we're drawing we're playing the game where you draw so you like I would draw we have a folded piece of paper I would draw a line then I fold it and I hand it to you and you do a shape and then you

pass it exquisite yes and we've been doing it for eight or nine hours and no matter what shape i draw when we unfold the paper it's slender man and and it's happening and he's getting bigger and bigger and looking like he's coming off the page as we're doing it and it started to make me nervous and i'm turning to the dog and i say yes duke i'm saying duke and uh are you nervous at all and he's saying roll that beautiful beat footage which i think is all he learned and then And then I'm turning to Diane and she, I don't understand. This isn't like a, I cannot understand what she says.

I hope that's not offensive to say. I don't think it is. It's okay. I can't understand her. But of course we can't stop either. I just go like, well, let's never, let's not draw it again. And then suddenly my hands of their well, let's not draw it again. And then suddenly my hands of their own accord are starting to draw it.

And the paper is getting so large now that it's actually the entire room. It's like the wall is all Slender Man's coming at me. It's like a big computer paper now. Yes, yes, exactly. And in many ways, I'm still in that room. But go, so what were you doing the show? Or are we doing a podcast show? Yes, we were going to do the show, yes.

Yes. This is Hollywood Handbook. Handbook. It's an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet line by callers in this industry we call showbiz. Showbiz. 300, what do we think when we hear this?

Gerard Butler episode. This is Spartac when we hear this? Gerard Butler episode. This is Spartacus. This is our Gerard Butler episode. Yes. We think of those guys and he kicks the guy. But in this case, it is the podcast. And we did this many. We did Gerard Butler's muscles amount of shows of the episodes.

Gerard Butler's muscles amount of shows of the episodes. And perhaps you read the article this week about how difficult it is to do podcasts. Did you read this? Oh, am I supposed to go? Oh, sorry. No, I didn't know. It would have been actually great if you had been going. I thought I had a lot of...

It would have been nice, but... No, I had a lot of great riffs. You had to get in there oh that would have been so good i had some first and burg bombs for that ass but i didn't know covering your mouth yeah yeah yeah yeah the but i mean i have just gnawing on your fist well you guys know i mean i'm sure this is because you invite me on you guys know that i did an hour special on bush's baked beans right yes yeah good is what it was called. Yeah. So I was holding back because I assumed you were queuing me up.

This is morning radio, yes? I'm always setting you up. It is morning radio. Oh, great. But it is also podcast, isn't it? Yeah. What is the difference between podcast and radio now, right? Oh, thank you.

Soundboard. Yeah. Let me just tell you, I have a deaf parent. Both my parents are deaf, but one is dead, so he's not deaf anymore. He can hear, thank you. Soundboard. Yeah. Let me just tell you, I have a deaf parent. Both my parents are deaf, but one is dead, so he's not deaf anymore. He can hear me in heaven. He can, okay.

Isn't that beautiful? That's really nice. Wow, I haven't thought about that. Wow. You haven't thought about my dad's deaf in a while, right? I think so. He loves the podcast.

What? Yes. No, he loves it. He loves Hollywood. Finally, I can hear podcasts. That's what all deaf people look forward to about heaven. Yeah. I died and listened to Serial.

It's harp music. Finally, they can hear harp music, which is the first thing that you get when you get to heaven. You get that right away. And then second, you get, there's all these chambers in heaven. Have you guys read Dante's Inferno? I've skimmed it. The Dan Brown one, yes. Yeah, the Dan Brown Dante's's inferno i've skimmed brown one yes the dan brown dante's inferno skimmed it so there's like different layers of heaven and hell and so

uh there's like an earwolf station oh wow yeah there's like wow yeah there's like uh you sort of walk it you open the door and walk and then you can just select and there's and it's current shows or is it all dead shows like is it only Glitter in the Garbage and Hard Nation and stuff like that? Oh, do the podcasts die? Mic detect there. Yeah. So when we stop doing this show in two weeks, this podcast would be available in Dante's Inferno. That's right.

But actually, it's not just dead ones. But for example, you said Serial. Serial season one isn't there, but season two, a little bit of a dip. It's up there. For Serial, that is a mortal blow. Yeah, it was a bit of a dip. So unfortunately, it's not perfect. Anyway, my dad loves this show.

And my mother, I was going to say deaf. I don't remember the, I mean, I do remember where I was going with this. The deaf thing, yeah. But I'm pulling back. I'm not going to give it to you. Okay. Even though I remember for sure why I brought that up. He's going to ease it out.

Yeah. He's going to give us the whole thing. Just get it. At some point, it'll get teased out, though. The dog just turned a lamp on with his head. A little dark in here, though. It'll be a little dark. And that's kind of sort of the magic that has been happening on this show for 300 years.

Oh, you guys do an episode a year? Yes. Oh, wow. That does make sense because I was your guest on the show one year ago. So you haven't done an episode since. No, this is the next one. Oh, wow. That's so cool.

What an honor, honestly. And we do want to talk about this this episode that you did but i also want to talk about the article and there was an article about podcasts that came out this week and they didn't talk to us about it but it was basically saying this thing that we've been saying for a long time which is doing a podcast is the hardest thing you can do well the article itself was someone with the unimaginable hubris to believe that they could start a podcast. Oh, right. It was a person who was like upset that they didn't start monetizing their brand immediately.

Right. They did six and didn't get any traction. That's a bummer. And some people were clowning on them. Is that right or wrong? But what came out of the discussion of that was the fact that it's actually the hardest thing you can do to make a podcast. And that it fucking sucks. And it is like prison labor, basically. You know what else is hard?

It's like physically toxic. You know what else is hard? It's being deaf. Now, I have deaf parents. And earlier... Well, one. Right, that's true. I forgot, right. One has God's ears and one has bad ears.

And the one that has bad ears, someone earlier did a riff about what's the difference between radio and podcast. This is where I was going with it. Oh, yes. I'm going to tell you where I was going with it, and it's not worth it. It's not worth me bringing back up.

But because I remembered. And this is the real difference between radio and podcasts is in the podcast, this will be edited out. Without radio, you'd have to live with the whole riff. That's fair, yeah. I wouldn't assume

you're going to edit this out before you hear the anecdote, though, because it's going to blow your mind. You said what's the difference between radio and podcast. I said soundboards. I got a laugh blast from Jordan. Nothing from the rest of the room.

I can't believe we blew by that one. Yeah, showing what deafness is like. Right. Oh, some people are deaf to your wrist. Out of respect to Moshe's parent. Parent. Yeah. Thank you for not pluralizing that.

Okay. And you were going to do. I was going to say that it's difficult for me to explain to my mom what a podcast is. Because she knows what radio is. Because of cultural and historical context. But then trying to tease out the new landscape of media and say, well, it's like radio. Can I tell you something? It's just hard.

My parents are not deaf. No way. And it's still hard. My parents are not deaf. No way. And it's still hard to explain to them what a podcast is. It's almost like they don't want to have the conversation at all. Yeah, or that even if they understood what it is, they still wouldn't want it to be the main thing I do. But I think it's because they're worried about us because like so many people were saying this week,

to do the podcast is to make this great sacrifice brutal and so it takes like all of your like life essence to do the podcast and it is true you have to go to the place you are talking you have to talk for so long. Isn't Jon Stewart right now advocating for podcasters in front of Congress? Yes, now that he has solved the 9-11 stuff. That's his next task, right? Yes, and he freed Rosewater. Yeah. And now he is a podcaster's rights advocate.

There's a whole fund set up for podcasters who are down on their luck. I just want to say, say actually thank you to my uh i mean my buddy of mine john john friend and just for doing that you know i obviously was your friend well yeah i mean yeah your friend's your job yeah yeah yeah oh wow definitely we did the daily show do you know that as well holy shit he hosted he hosted the daily show oh right before it really took off with trevor noah before started cooking with craig kilbourne oh that's oh wow yeah so we forgot uh we were gonna have our friends like leave voicemails for us i was a big episode 300 uh you would think that kevin

could also like maybe like spearhead something like that sure paid full-time producer to work on the show how much do you get paid annually? I brought three pies and the rule is I get to take home one slice today. That's not the answer to the question. It actually is. Oh, it is? Okay. Oh, you guys have like a podcast language kind of.

Your own thing. That's cool. And in this case, the pies are symbolic for the actual pies that Kevin brought. And the slice is he gets to take home one slice of pie. So it's one, effectively, it's one ninth of whatever Hayes and I get. Oh, okay. Okay. Usually people cut them into eight slices, but this is a nine slice.

It's a contractual thing. Well, yes. And then I guess we divide that by three, right? Do you get one slice of each pie? No. Divided by pie. Guys. No? No, Divided by pie. Guys, no?

No, that's great. I mean, that actually gets us right into what we wanted to talk about. If you could get John to leave a voicemail. I could call him right now. That would be huge. That would be great. Actually, it's East Coast time, so I can't. He's asleep. He's sleeping because it's three hours ahead for where we are, so he sleeps

in the early afternoon. He gets up so early to fight for people. First responders and podcasters. We are, in a way, first responders because we come out at midnight. And that is way before a firefighter who normally, a firefighter wakes up at midnight, does not happen no firefighters work everybody knows nine to five yes you get your house guys on fire at six it's like

bye yeah see are you hopefully it's still on fire at nine when they get up yeah you're if you're if you're in the house by the way say hi to my dad you know yeah using regular audio you don't need to use sign language yeah say hi out loud don't be like hi don't need to use sign language. Yeah. Say hi out loud. Don't be like, hi. Don't even wave because he doesn't want that anymore. Yeah. Imagine how embarrassing to do sign language in heaven. I know. You'd be like, hey, buddy, it's cool.

I'm in heaven. We here now. Yeah. Okay. I can hear you. Okay. I can hear you. It is heaven. All the annoyed deaf people in heaven.

So you did the episode. It's comic con happening right now yes we did try to go uh we were i guess not allowed in i tried to like walk into san diego and i hit this like invisible it's a force field shield yeah yeah i was actually what's interesting is i didn't i usually think of a force field as i would be like sort of pushed back or i would feel some kind of block what happened was i walked and as i crossed the city line i was back in my own bedroom oh wow like i was transported so it was almost like a wormhole i guess but um yeah and i did it three or four times before i finally just gave up and said hey let's just go do this so you wait explain i just so i understand you walked to san diego but as soon as we crossed the city that i totally ordered yeah yeah no the portal makes sense, but it's the transport method.

So you got back into your bedroom, put on a backpack, walked to San Diego. Well, sitting's the new smoking. Okay. Yeah. Right. Sitting is the new smoking. Sitting's the new smoking. Okay, I get that for sure.

Basketball court's the boardroom. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Everything's changing. Yeah, right. You know what I mean? It's all online now. Well, I guess in a way we're all a brand.

Whoa. Right? Yeah. Russell Brand. It was why I'm voting for Christian Gillibrand for the Democratic. I'm voting Trump in the general, but in the primaries I'm voting Gillibrand because that's what I want to see

so it was a year ago that we did this show and it was at Comic Con and it was one of our biggest ones ever and it was actually the show so she didn't like to talk about this this is what got Jordan into podcasting yeah so she

you weren't around then you didn't even know about no i didn't nope i didn't know anything about podcasting all you knew about was conan funko heads right and you went to the show like many other people in the audience to get a free conan funko pops funko pups yes can i tell you guys a story about the funko pop the the toys please you know that i'm straight up like destitute and that my comedy career is absolutely going nowhere right it's looked that way i didn't yeah yeah it's not with us and what i've seen is i haven't seen you right yeah well this is sort of what we want to talk about is to say like a lot of it was not you it wasn't my fault but it was definitely i was the

one that you know got the heaviest consequences there's a lot of haters online and a lot of um i got doxxed and sure you guys know the story but i went from making upwards of 20 28 000 a year doing comedy doing what i love look the comedy to me is like therapy you know for me so interesting right it's like a church therapy to me it's like the doctor but yes uh-huh when i'm on stage it's like i don't know if you guys know this comedy's math for me oh that's really fascinating yeah well you guys don't do stand-up right well so you don't even know i mean you don't even know i definitely could and i would be good at it right away and it would be easier than what i do no way no no comedy stand-up comedy is like, I don't know if you guys know this,

but it's the highest form of comedy. It's just you and a mic. And you strip away. And a net, surely, right? No, there's no net. There's no net. That's the whole part of it is that there isn't a net. I think I actually have seen a net. Well, at least

you can sort of hide from the truth when you're up there on stage truth is comedy comedy is truth like one axiom one axiom of comedy is if you tell the truth about yourself even if there's no joke connected to it as long as it's like confessional

that's comedy and that's funnier actually than a joke way funnier like if I just came up and said like my parents are deaf and one is dead over and over you did say that yeah and i was laughing my ass off right jokes suck shit yeah jokes are the worst i would hate to hear a joke any kind of craft applied to it is taking me completely out of it i just actually think you're interesting but i was the first guy to get real on stage whoa yeah people don't know that yeah i was like i was the first person to just be like there was and did the police come uh no well i mean there was some plainclothes people that i assume might have been cops or whatever but they kind of like they didn't yeah the thing

is they kept reaching sort of it felt like it felt time to call it in you know it felt sketchy but um but yeah i got real i I'd been trying to do my act and it hadn't been working. And then one day I just looked at the audience and I was like, oh, they're me. And so let me show them who I am.

Anyway, so I was making a lot of money doing stand-up prior to coming on the show. You were saying like $20,000? So then they say that you're... $28,000. When you said that the audience was you, you were also on vacation going to the comedy store. Oh're 28,000, you said that the audience was you, you are also on

vacation going to the comedy store. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Also drunk. No, I, I just got engaged. I live in, uh, in Iowa city and I just got engaged and, uh, it actually isn't going to work out, but yeah, but, but that's me in, in a way.

Right. Right. In a way that's me. Cause it's like, on the other hand, it's like, no, i'm not some bumpkin i'm like you know what i mean i'm a california jew it's like right i'm an educated person i'm not like from some other place with some wife or fiance i'm not and you're up high talking down in some way i'm like yeah it's like physically yeah so in a way the audience definitely isn't me because like right you know like yeah are you fucking kidding me but in another way in another way they're totally me yeah and um anyway you got so I was living my dreams and I got real

living my dreams you made 28 28k pre-tax 28k and after the show you don't have to declare all that either right yeah sometimes I get paid straight up because they're throwing coins on stage that happens quite a bit because I'll mention that I'm a Jew

and then the audience always thinks it's funny to like toss them up on stage and you're doing a show in the fountain of the groove that's right yeah yeah yeah

I do yeah I've done it in Rome so you're stealing you're effectively getting paid in people's wishes as well that's correct because when you steal the coin you get to take that with you

yeah yeah and I found a monkey paw, even on stage. Interesting. Okay. Yeah. So, so I'm me.

I'm them. I'm, I'm, I'm. You're them. I'm like the ultimate truth killer. I'm like a free speech. It's the truth.

Sort of warrior. You're sort of a modern day preacher as well. Absolutely. I mean, comedians are basically priests, except comedians don't lie. They don't lie. And the comedy club is a revival tent.

I mean, I think we've all made that analogy, right? Yes. And it's like being a stand-up comedian, which you guys don't understand in any way, it's like there's something so visceral about it and Raw and real, you know? Like, did you guys see? It's actually punk rock, isn't it? It is. It's the new punk for sure.

Wow, punk rock preacher. Voting Trump and being a stand-up. Like on AMC, basically. Those are kind of the, oh, yeah, yeah. Pretty much. They should make, honestly, and you guys won't take this, right? This is my idea. I have to hear it first.

Okay, I trust you. They should make a TV show about what it's like to be a stand-up comedian oh i'd love to steal that i would love to steal that no it's like it's like i'm a comedian i'm trying to make it in the big city uh-huh yeah and how old are you currently and how old are you playing uh there's a disparity so i i'm currently my age but i actually i'm gonna play much older wow i'm gonna play i'm way older than i am now just starting out starting out uh you know like second divorce just a boy from iowa city three-time loser with a mic yep and a big bug at a truth that's right that's right I'm gonna splash it on you are you in the splash zone

that's the name of the name of the show yeah it was called are you in the splash zone it's a question yeah well

fountain comedy so anyway you guys aren't gonna do that right we might do something that is like very different from that

that's great yeah that is like for example about a different guy who's not you okay I love this like you're not is like for example about a different guy who's not you okay i love this like you're not in it for example which would be like totally different oh because i'm like a white guy like you don't think that i can you can make a show about me

anymore no well this would be like a white guy who is like more muscular this white guy would be oh buff he's been to the gym buff comedy comedy. I would say this guy is tan. Tan and buff. He's ripped and he's hot. Does he tell the truth? He's going to have to if he wants to get that audience on his side. Because he is the audience in a way. But he's also buff.

He's stronger than them. He's stronger, yeah. So the audience in a way is buff. Oh, wow. I mean, they'd love to hear that. Wow, wow, wow, wow. I mean, they'd love to hear that. Wow, wow, wow, wow. This is... I'm connecting to something big.

Yeah, I was thinking about doing that show. And also a movie, too. Oh, you were already thinking about it before I pitched it to you? He actually mentioned something like this to me. Before I got here? Yeah, because you were kind of late. I was. You were a little late, and so we were thinking about doing a movie. You came up with this you were kind of late. I was. You were a little late and so we were thinking

We got to talk about we have to do something. You came up with this in the half hour late that I was. What do you want? Did you just sit here? You're just like

what do we wish was on TV? So if I had come here on time this still would be kind of totally my intellectual property. I mean like with the butterfly effect and stuff it's like impossible

to predict these things, actually what happens. But we want to do something else with this show, with this episode. Oh, then have this conversation? Yes. Okay, great. This we don't want to do. The stuff we brought to the table, it's interesting.

It's maybe the first time a guest has come in with something, and it's actually pretty good. I hate that it's happening but it doesn't it's not in the format okay especially for a special like big landmark episode for us i'm backing down to just do something totally different that's more in the vein of i think what people want yes to it's a 300 it's a big one we should be like letting people in to this show, making it accessible. And so what we're going to do is talk about a show that we did a year ago

that most people have not heard, but some people have. Did you listen to that episode? I did, yeah. I listened to it. What? You want me to comment on it? Well, let's listen. To the whole episode?

We thought we'd go back through it, and we'd do a commentary, and actually get your side of it, because like you're saying, you have been taking a lot of heat for this, which I think mostly is not fair. Oh, some part of it is fair. The last time I saw you, though,

you were there. You did say that stuff. Right, yeah. The last time I saw you was at a professional engagement. And you were making, I mean, we were making 28 Gs, but you were making, I think, $900. And we were doing Punch-Up on the film Stuber. And do you know how that ended up?

I saw it. Did you? I saw Stuber at the premiere, no less. Oh, wow. Bautista was there. Did Sean's stuff get in any of my stuff I don't know if any of my or your stuff got in if I'm being if I'm being honest Sean has told me multiple times about a joke that he pitched in the studio project wait what was partially Dom's pitching I said it there's no way it's ever gonna get in but it was just a funny run that really the room went on,

but I think Hum's the one that said that it was when they're going through the crowd, turning everyone around. Do you know what I'm talking about? They're looking for the criminal in the opening. I remember. So he goes like, this guy's turning people around. Let's turn him around. And people started turning him around.

And then people started turning him around, and so he can't get to the criminal did that happen yup it did that is in the movie yeah what do you want from me here no the joke didn't make it

okay I killed it you killed it no but it wasn't it was not in you were very funny in that room though hey man you're always funny in the room

so we're gonna go through we're gonna listen to this thing that for us actually i mean and this is what i think is not fair about it the episode for us has been such a launch pad to doing all these like like like for example like way more punch-up rooms than just that i don't know how many is that right? Yeah. From the episode. From this? Yeah, I mean, I think so.

That's what people tell us, is like, this has been so huge for us. Yes. And for it to be so devastating for your career, I just think we should dispel some of the myths about what actually went on. I will say, true story, because as you know, I like to get real. Someone did come up to me after a gig on the road and said, Hollywood Handbook Comic-Con episode. Among the community?

I guess you guys have a community. Oh. It's like, it's a legendary episode. Wow. Okay. That's not a... He didn't say what the community was. Your community.

I think he might have said on the commune. There's... You guys have started a commune. About seven... Well, there's about seven dudes who are all married to each other who live on like a Hollywood handbook farm. Oh, that's beautiful. And it's state like mandated.

Oh, the state is involved with the commune? In that they have forced these men to live on this. So like a field trip to a comedy show like that was monitored. Like there was not a probation officer, but effectively a probation officer witnessing that interaction. It wasn't sincere. So you were safe. They had to say that though. Like that wasn't a sincere thought. I think a probation officer witnessing that interaction. It wasn't sincere. So you were safe. They had to say that, though. Like, that wasn't a sincere thought.

I think they like it in a way. It's one of the only things they have access to there. They're obviously not allowed to just roam the web, you know, freely. And they weren't allowed to laugh, which actually explains a lot of what you hear on the thing. On the podcast or at that show that night? Well, that actually became a podcast oh wow so god you guys are good yeah it is hard work it's dude don't get me started man what do you do like obviously we're talking about all this career stuff but like what are you into

forget all the showbiz stuff and this is actually what we're going on. So this is like the 300th episode. Episodes three to 500 are going to be just like getting into people, not what they do professionally, but just what are you into? What are you like into? It's, it's, it's actually like. And what's your hobbies? I hear it's actually not an easy. Forget all the stuff that people like you for and would want to hear about. Right. Do you read any books or anything?

What's a big hobbies that you have? It's actually honestly not an easy question to answer because I've been so lost in the quest for my career. What are you watching? Like streaming or terrestrial? Yes. I guess I like, like the James Spader vehicle. Yes. Blacklist.

Uh-huh. I really like Blacklist. I'm a criminal. Oh my God. Yeah. That's him. His character, Black Blackerson. Yeah.

Oh, and he's got a whole list of a whole list of people so i like that a lot yeah that's what that list is still going huh god that list was so much longer than i thought yeah i like blacklist i like um i like uh i like movies yeah do you guys oh my god Like, uh, I saw movies. I have a, I have a daughter. Oh wow. Yeah.

That I have not seen. Yeah. And that's, she's, she's, the bad news is she's on the blacklist. She's on James. No,

your daughter's on Spader's blacklist. That's, which is not easy for us. Not easy. Wow. We don't want to burn all this. Now let's listen to the old episode and then we'll talk are you playing it yeah it's playing right now okay keep playing the song keep playing we're just we have so much to do we're just this is the beginning

this is too early did you not select clips or anything did you you select any timestamp? No. Did I ask you to last week? No. Yes, I did. I thought it was like... Yes. I did. What have we talked about? He may have heard...

I can understand you saying make some selections for next week for him to hear selections selections of pie okay select three pies we said we're gonna have mosha come in we will do commentary on the commentary episode and he's like mostly we should be playing the live show and getting his input like uh on like his experience on stage and everything but I said let's pick one or two spots where we're talking to to get his input on our input

and to be fair what you heard was bring three pies so that's fair just buy three pies from Gelson's that's what you heard food for less Gelson's so let's just find the beginning of

that you will so you as you're flipping around in the episode the sound will suddenly get very bad and then that is the part that we want to actually listen to do reverence like times let's pleasure thing i say can't kiss the kiss't kiss the okay so it's gonna be way before this so you kiss the queen i remember being like a later part okay they're my favorite and you are experiencing times let's get into the show knowing full well buddy man has been played exclusively by women okay it's a little before this

there we go it's a little before this that's really close buddy and pleasure face sorry Moshe murder

you're sorry to me you know it was all the real you guys are popular popular podcast, right? No. It's a wide spectrum, but I would say no.

Helen of Troy. Okay, so we're back to the Kiss the Queen moment. We've rediscovered that. Now instead of the laptop, we're going to the phone. It's a little easier on the phone. What level are you really unhappy

and uncomfortable right now? Even for you, wouldn't it be better to pick out spots? That's a comedy reference. That's Spinal Tap, man. He's always doing it. He's been telling me about this movie. Oh, you haven't seen Spinal Tap? No, but Kevin loves. He's been telling me about this movie. Oh, you haven't seen Spinal Tap?

No, but Kevin loves it. I feel like I have. It's really good. Do you know what a documentary is? Okay. Okay. You know what one of those is? A documentary? Okay.

So this is like a sub-genre. It's called a mockumentary. Oh, okay. So it's like almost sending up the genre of documentary. What? Okay, he has been calling it. That'll never work. Honestly, you'd be surprised.

It's funny. He has called it a mock you, rock you, shock you documentary. Wait, why wouldn't he call it a mock you, shock you, rock you-mentory? And just flipping those two things in the order? He calls it a mock you, shock you, rock you documentary. Yes, mock you, shock you, rock you documentary but part of the shock you rock you documentary part of the whole game is that you get rid of the doc part and because those words rhyme with doc you substitute them in so it's an easier fun more fun way would be rock you shock would shock you

drop you well he said well what kevin initially said to me was it's a mock documentary that rocks and shocks you okay pushed his microphone away it's a mock documentary that rocks and shocks your world yes that was what he told me yeah and it actually that sounded kind of good right so the director christopher gethard uh um he he did went ahead and combined those words. So it's the rock you, shock you documentary that'll rock your world. He just went, boop, got rid of doc. It's a mockumentary. Okay.

And then you could keep going. It's a rock you mockumentary. That sounds like, to do that, to me, sounds like career suicide. How's it going over there? And I hate seeing you have such a bad time. I obviously played the original. We're so close. We've got to go back a little more.

We're going back to the very beginning. He's going back too much. Bail on. What I will say, the positive is I'm feeling less guilty about being late by the second. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I felt really bad. I feel like I'm feeling less guilty about being late by the second. A lot of, like I felt really bad. I feel like I'm regaining.

It does seem like it would have been a good time to, to find some clips, right? The 40 minutes. We were figuring out this movie show thing. Kevin, let's stop. Can, do you want to talk about it? So you knew

that the idea was to do commentary on it, even just for you as the person who was going to be pressing play. Did you think we would just listen to the entire episode? No way, right? It's like one of our longer episodes. It is an hour and 20 minutes

making the commentary probably this episode closer to two hours. And there's no way we were going to do that. I have a hard out. And Hayes did have a hard out. Yeah, I thought we would listen to the top and then just kind of like see how we felt from there. And just randomly, and then search around for other stuff? Yeah. So I'm kind of a curse

to this show, huh? Somebody is. So the people, the things that people have been saying, I am starting to wonder if they were right. And it was about me

being a curse or not. I mean, you're here. You were here then. Right. And you're here now. Well, I was there then. I'm here now. Okay. That was there then. I'm here now. Okay.

I was in San Diego. That's interesting. Something to think about. And are you allowed back into San Diego? I walked straight into San Diego last night for the IMDB pro party. Oh. And everyone on IMDB was there. Well, yeah.

Well, your star meter had to be at a certain level, obviously. What's yours? Well, it's lower now than it was a year ago, obviously, but it's 400. Wow. Yeah. 400 stars. Hollywood handbook. Be a better you in 2024 with Babbel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works.

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That's rocketmoney.com slash the boys. Rocketmoney.com slash the boys. Hollywood handbook. Okay, I think I found the beginning. And talk about that. And it was the I found the beginning. And talk about that. And it was, the energy in the room was such a big part of it. I just want to let up. Go ahead. Okay, here we go.

This is the beginning. We're starting. Hollywood Handbook. So, I was with Harley Quinn. Yeah. And Amy Tan. Yes. And we were doing the jigsaw puzzle.

Okay. That's hard. Oh, yeah. Much harder. Yeah. And so, you're only going by shape. You know that. Yeah.

And at a certain point, I just decide, let's not do this anymore. Just quit. Yeah, we'll just quit. Yeah, right. Let's just move on and do the show. Let's just do the show. Let's do the show. Hey, welcome to Hollywood. Yeah, right. Let's just move on and do the show. Let's just do the show. Let's do the show. Hey, welcome to Hollywood.

Okay, pause it. So what is going on for you in this moment? When I'm watching you guys do that intro? Yes. Where are you? Like, set the scene. Like, what are you seeing? What are you hearing?

What is going through your head? Well, for me, it's so refreshing to hear. I just got to say, having done the Duke Bush's baked bean story today hearing what is going through your head well it for me it's so refreshing to hear i just gotta say having done the duke bush's baked beans story today and being like this one's not that good but then to hear what a bad one really sounds like for me it's pre-show yeah so i'm obviously in the green room like shadow boxing you know i'm getting ready to go on stage there's nothing up there for me but you know the energy of the crowd and uh did you have to use like creed what's that oh to poop no that's not that's he poops do you now

you're yeah we can talk about this a little bit you are a sharpened blade when you take the stage absolutely and you slice through the audience i slice and dice like and my styles are nice right so that's my motto and i don't know if you that's my creed you probably don't even realize you're doing this that rhymed what did okay i this is what i suspected when you get in the zone and i I sort of summoned stage motion by saying this, you said you slice and dice, and then you mentioned that your styles are nice.

Oh my god. And it actually connects. You're so, two of the words and then a third one. It's like hearing you say it back to me, I'm like wow, that rhymes and that sounds like the best, sort of most sophisticated rap I've ever heard. But saying it, it just came out like butter. And can I say I love that your dad is hearing this.

Of course. You know? He's actually able to. He's hearing the recording. He's not hearing the episode you released. He has early access. That should honestly be like a premium tier thing. No, Patreon actually is running in heaven.

Wow. Well, we should probably be Patreon actually is running in heaven. Wow. Yeah. Well, we should probably be... I don't... We should be making your dad pay for this stuff. Like, it's that. Oh, he paid. Come on.

He was deaf his whole life. Think about it. Okay, I didn't see anything for a bit. So when you guys were on stage... Yeah. Wait, what do you want from me? How did I feel about how you guys were doing? Yeah, you're watching this happen.

What are you thinking you're going to walk into, basically? Well, I knew the show, obviously. It's a huge show. Oh, God. And I mean, I knew that you guys felt nervous about what was about to happen. You guys mentioned it in the green room. And I was like, you know, I'm jabbing. Well, yeah, you're like getting really close to my face.

You're doing these 15-punch combinations that are whizzing past my ear. So you say we're nervous. I assume, obviously, it's because of the moves I'm doing. You're almost punching me. Yeah, and I'm like, you guys remember, I was like, don't worry. The only people I knock out is the audience. You remember? I remember you saying that.

You were so impressed with is myself you're knocking out yourself in a weird way yeah um but you guys i do remember we're nervous because you didn't know if anybody knew who you were in the audience is that that's fair and then you took the stage to tell so funny i don't remember feeling that yeah you guys took to the stage to tell a you know a sort of whimsical a game sort of yeah yeah and you're it seems to me that you felt that your fears were confirmed in that moment ah was i thinking that it's interesting because what you know when you're really listening and again listening now and listening at the time

I realize that in telling that whimsical story as you so kindly described it I am sort of pausing for laughter without having said any kind of joke and then in the vacuum created by the lack of laughter

I'm mad at them I guess I think it's impolite. But if I put myself in their shoes, totally fair. I'm listening to this on better headphones than I have in the past. And there's one moment where someone like scoots their chair. It's one of the loudest chair scoots that i've ever heard well can i do you have another clip do you want to play i didn't mean to take over hosting the show but i was off the hook and

we'll explain a little bit about ourselves about our deal uh sean and i this is sean i'm sean that's hayes we have done Hollywood, basically. The whole... Pretty much all of it. The whole shebang. What would we be best known for, for like a Comic-Con crowd? Well, for me, I obviously played the original, in the original series, Mrs. Batman. In the original series, Mrs. Batman.

Jordan, if only you had been there. Or I guess you were, but if only you understood what was happening then in a way that you have figured out since. Yes. I would have been laughing the whole episode. Yes. It was a laugh curiosity. That was Jordan in the studio. No.

There was a little laugh in there. On Mrs. Batman? No, not on Mrs. Batman. Not on Mrs. Batman. Yeah, you're right. There was a laugh on us saying we had done Hollywood. We had done Hollywood, yeah. The least jokey thing that we were saying. I feel bad, Moshe, because you sort of fed me that concept in the green room to make me less nervous. And it did work, because I'm like, oh, good, I'm sitting on Mrs. Batman. I said I you that one. Concept. Yeah. In the green room to make me less nervous. Right. And it did work because I'm like, oh, good.

I'm sitting on Mrs. Batman. I said, I do remember that. I was punching and I said, you know what always works with these yahoos, right? Yeah. These are like comic dorks. Say you're Mrs. Batman. And I did like a long act out of like the way that dorks act, you know, it's all like. Yeah.

You know, and I was like pushing my glasses up. Yeah. And I said, all you got to do, take a popular franchise from a comic book film and then make it about the spouse of that hero, which has literally always worked for me. And so what do you think it was? Delivery. Delivery.

Definitely, delivery. Delivery. And in listening back, even I am going, wow, when Moshe did this, it was so fucking funny in the green room. I'm pissing myself in the green room. I'm looking for a new set of freaking chinos after that. You did that bit. There are certain voice patterns to let the audience know that was a joke.

And is it? Yeah. Is one of the voice patterns that they like a sort of quavering,asley neediness that's because i want to know who i am someone who is scared of their own fear if that makes sense that is uh a technique in in what we call alternative comedy ah right all right tell me about alternative comedy a lot of people say it's almost an alternative to comedy. I'm a club guy. You know?

That's me. So I tell jokes. So I would have said, you might remember me from the popular movie franchise, Mrs. Batman. And that uptick. Batman. Suck my fucking brajole. Yeah. Batman.

Then the audience is like, oh. End of joke. End of of the joke and then they would do just you're like squatting or like yeah or yes yes doing a squat or start humping the stool yeah mrs batman oh oh bruce wayne oh you know what i mean i'll start fucking it like it's bruce wayne or something like that i'm like oh albert could you get me a spot O.T. you know kind of a thing Albert isn't that that's the name

of the butler right Albert yeah so that's what I would have done but I mean it's so funny it's different

you know yeah that I think would have worked when you were doing that in the green room man I was like

checking my chinos for fucking wet spots for just yeah and also yeah also blasting off oh people And I was like checking my chinos for fucking wet spots. Yeah, and also blasting off. Oh, pee-pee. Batman! Oh, no. Shit, man.

Oh, boy. Okay, let's hear another part. We were thinking, people might not know who we are. Let's do almost what we did in the very first episode of our podcast. Oh, this is the very next moment? Well, a quick, you know, I wonder if we want to like even get to like Moshe or something. That would be great. So I'll just talk again about part of what's going on is like Kevin

left the got up and left the room for a while a substantial period of time yeah I got into the other the other part of the studio

and I thought maybe that was so he could like find specific moments not and not be sitting right next to us

I think it was more about just not being in the room anymore. It did seem, though, to your credit, like he was like, all right, let's go. Play that first clip and then was like, all right, clip number two. But it was the moment after clip number one. It was like situation handled. Yeah. And then I thought like, and now he's going to play like a relevant clip. But it just was playing this from the exact moment we stopped.

I do want to hear when Moshe first shows up, because that was sort of like a crossroads for you. For my career, for my life. Think back of things you could have done instead in that moment, instead of appearing on stage. No, you're right. I mean, yeah. You could look at like the floor plan

of the studio and like there were like other routes you could have taken well yeah and i i'll never forget it because there was actually um a passenger 57 cast reunion panel happening at the same time that i obviously really wanted to go to yeah yeah and i was like oh no you know these are good guys you know this is like this is a popular podcast the whole crowd is gonna know who they are i'm not gonna so i did think about that you know and you still have questions that you didn't get to ask that's right at the panel who's passenger 58 like what is this is this a movie what yeah what was what was prison like wesley like a lot of different okay snipes Wesley Snipes. Also, it is a movie.

Passenger 57, yeah. It was. It's not anymore. That's interesting. Did every passenger have their own number? Because what I think is it's an aisle. It would be now Passenger 13A. Right, but this was a very big plane, but with only one chair per row.

Okay. So it's very, very long. Long, skinny. Who were cast members like two through six that you wanted to see at the cast reunion? What is this? Doug loves movies? He's fucking the table. He's pumping the table

what are we oh what are we what are we over here we had gone yeah transparency well translucency and and letting people inside the show business process

and so what we want to do is kind of as a treat we're going to bring up our friend who writes with us and we what we want to do is kind of as a treat we're gonna bring up our friend who writes with us uh and we are all going to break the story on stage all right so let's bring out our friend moshi catcher moshi oh you okay this was real now this was a fun area for me now if you want to know what i was thinking at this moment i do remember what i was thinking at this moment particularly i remember this one I was thinking at this moment particularly. I remember this one clearly, which is that's not how you pronounce my name. Yeah.

But then I thought it must have been a game. It's the kind of thing we would do as a joke. Right. But you said it correctly. Yeah. I had met you before. That's what made me doubt that it was a joke because you immediately stepped in in this way that I've seen before, which is to try to fix the error.

But that may have been, so I betrayed Hayes in a way. But what about after that? I should have doubled down on the mispronunciation. You knew I knew it. Moshi Batman! Yeah. What about after that when I said Moshe, though? Well, that was nice because that's my stage name.

Is it weird that people are now calling you Moshe? Well, that's been a big problem why it's been hard to make a living because people don't know who I am anymore. I say my name and they say, who? And then I'll say Moshe. They go, oh, Hollywood Handbook episode 299. Yeah. Right?

Yeah. That's right. So there was a branding issue that definitely happened. I was thinking about your name a little bit today. And that when we recorded this episode, and even you agreeing to do this next one with us, that it was so kind and that you were such a sweetie. And then I was singing Sweet Emotion to the tune of Sweet Emotion by Aerosmith, just to myself around the office.

Oh, that's... You ever do that? About my own name, or just sing other people's names into the Sweet Emotion song? Sweet Emotion. As you would sing it. Sweet Emotion.

Sweet Emotion. Yeah. It's a different tune Yeah I like that Moshe is cool With a little accent That's better

Well That's better No offense No none taken It's not important to me It's only my identity But I do Moshe Cashier

I will I would I guess change my name Yeah To that? It's just one little line. Just a little this, a little mark. It just feels like it changes who I am. I go from like...

But don't you want to do that? Yeah. Wow. Is who you are working out? Well, I love... That, to me, is the pitch. Well, I love the audience, and I am the audience. Moshe Kashir makes 28 Gs.

Oh, again, back in business. I'm just saying. I'll think about it. Do we have a new part? I don't know how much we can say. We've written all these fucking movies. We've written every single one. I mean, I won't say that you created the character Spider-Man, but I won't not say

that you didn't. Well, just from the way I was jumping around. Right. A little trickle of laughter. That wasn't bad. I mean, that was the thing. On like a bell curve, you destroy this episode. I mean, no. You want my real thoughts on this episode?

I was going to wait till the end, but I'm not. Are we going to? We're probably pretty close. Okay. Yeah. Well, I honestly, and now this is sincere. I, as a stand-up comedian, the highest form of comedy, I thought it was sort of a master class in watching an audience not know what was happening and then get swept up into the psychic current of what they were witnessing.

Like they were, yes, confused at the beginning. Because they had no context for what they were watching. By the end of the thing, and I take, I mean, I had a good time, but you guys were very funny too. By the end of the thing, they were hysterical. I felt it was a bigger success than a show where everybody knew you and was laughing the whole time at your jokes it was a group of cold strangers going oh this bizarre thing that we're witnessing is like magical and happening before us i was very impressed me too i do remember exactly what i've been saying. And I was curious to this, that you,

we were like, Hey, sorry, that was such a disaster. And you immediately were like, I thought it went pretty well. I did. I really did because I've had that.

But I hadn't heard this explanation of it because of course I went like, Oh, what are the standup shows sound like? Well, no, it, as a standup, sometimes it's very, when you kill in front of a hot crowd

where everybody's killing that's one of the that's a great feeling because you're you're just like i killed your your ego has been satisfied but when you find a way to wrestle a terrible audience into your sort of frequency of comedy and by the end you've gotten them. Getting a lukewarm reaction from an ice cold audience is more satisfying. You just feel like more of a master. You feel like, oh, I did the impossible rather than I did what everybody else did tonight. And that's how that felt. And by the way,

I'll never forget when I pulled that last card. Oh, yeah. That was a great feeling. That was cool. That would be a good clip to have, but there's absolutely no way. Moments like that. Yeah, isolated moments from the show that we would almost certainly reference. When did we first plan on doing this, getting Moshe?

How long has he been booked for? I will say it's been a while. It's been, yeah, a couple weeks. It's been longer than that. Sorry. I feel really bad. You feel bad. I feel bad.

Would you say I'm the two... I'm a disaster. Two most unsuccessful concept executions we've ever done. Yeah, that's kind of like, how am I supposed to feel about this? Not even close. You're going to deserve way too much credit.

The fact that the last one was live. Kevin, please don't feel that bad. If you had done the thing that we directly asked you to do, it would not be Hollywood Handbook. It wouldn't. No. It wouldn't be our show. If we, in a clean way just like played

like selected clips that were the right length and then we commented on them what is that well that's our fucking show what are we reacting to that to his credit to his credit i when i got the booking email it did sort of lay out what we were going to do today. And it did specifically say, you're going to be about 40 minutes late. You've got a nice cushion, right? He knew, Kevin. And then we're going to do some commentary on the episode you did, but the kind of meta joke is,

we're going to play about three clips from the very, very, very beginning, where you haven't been introduced. We'll do one joke from you, and then we'll kind of give up. And we'll hear me scrolling through the episode trying to find it. That'll be on my... Kevin, that's really nice. Yeah, I thought that's what we were doing.

Kevin, you understand the show better than I do. I mean, that's what I'm learning. Yes, thank you, everyone. So I expected this when do you think that since we had such a build during the show last year that they would bring us back this year and we'd be starting at where we ended last year the same audience would be there ready for like year By like year six of doing it, I think we'd be getting genuine laughs. Yeah. But we didn't hear anything about it.

That was strange. Right? That's so weird to me. I wonder if they just don't have my email. I got an idea for you guys. Can I pitch something to you? Hey, man. No way.

Okay. Go ahead. Do it. We'll cut this, ahead do it well it's just it's we'll cut this but it's a show about an old kind of stuck in his ways racist guy who's dealing with a changing world okay yep and it's like an older guy kind of working at the factory okay no but this is a real pitch ready uh you because when i listen to the episode back i listen to every podcast episode i'm on just you know because it's just like obviously i want to hear a master at work.

Yeah. But I was a little surprised that you guys did the meta commentary thing. And I was, it was very funny what you did, but I was disappointed because I was so enamored of the magical. The pure version. The pure version of going from like, huh, to ha. And we cut all your good stuff. Yes. That's right. That bothered me. like huh to ha and we cut all your good stuff that's right that bothered me from huh to ha wow so maybe you should release there's just a pitch maybe release the unedited audio of that episode as an extra like as an extra in the feed like we'll release

this episode as our 300th episode of an episode you know 300a is is is the uncut it's just the uncut comic con with no no commentary yeah it's the studio cut really right the director's edition and maybe that's only on premium that should be it should be harder to get to definitely because you don't want a lot of people to hear it yes yes, but yes, that could be released on premium as a pro version or something. That's a good idea. More guests should have pitches about how we could do the show. This is why I love being in a punch-up room with this guy. And then, turn him around, turn him around, turn him around.

Put that in there somehow. It made me laugh when we were talking about it. It was a Simpsons joke. I mean, it would me laugh that joke is still available it was a simpsons joke i mean it would never be in a movie but it was very funny to me i i saw the movie and i don't i don't i never had the feeling of oh i oh i said that i never got there was not any no not really that you remembered mike's but kumail didn't say to you oh we used this thing he didn't okay yeah because i had one joke that got like you saw an area of a joke not in stuber uh which i haven't seen yet but like a really i went on a whole run that i

think they used like one tenth of as like a reference in big sick and then every time i saw him for like a year he'd be like hey that thing you pitched and I was like whoa this is so nice he's isolated this one thing that he associated so it's it feels like if he didn't do that then they probably didn't use any oh if he didn't if he didn't say and say you say like hey that thing went really well like we tested the screening the other day and that one thing you said was the best part which which you know it wasn't, but it's like. I have found that when I do punch up in action comedies that most of the time the jokes don't get there because like what happens when they film the movie is they just go more action, more action, more action. So I think that's. Well, they go, we filmed all this, like them stopping down

to make little quips during the action. And it's so fucking stupid. It completely removes the stakes because like they're like running and there's like a gunshot over them. And then we have this like funny little pithy, like snide run that Moshe and Sean were riffing in the room

and it doesn't work at all. Did I stay to the end of the credits to see if we got special thanks for the premiere? I tried, but I was made fun of. The credits were too long? Yeah, I was being made fun of and I felt embarrassed and so I left. Yeah, my daughter was there

and that was the last day I saw her actually because she got taken out by James Spader. No. Yeah. No. Oh, they finally got to her on the list. there and that was the last day i saw her actually because she got taken out by james spader no yeah no oh they finally got to her on the list well i wasn't i wasn't invited to any of these things mosha what are you doing to try and fix all this oh fix the the wreckage that that episode did. Yeah. Well, I'm doing the hardest thing there is to do. Actually. You do podcasts. Moshe.

I just launched. Moshe, you do podcasts? Well, I just launched a podcast. Oh, Moshe, I'm sorry. Yeah, I know it's. And I can see it in your face. It's very drawn. I'm gaunt for sure.

I mean, the beautiful part is I do it with my wife, Natasha Leggero. That's beautiful. And so we get to like sort of suffer together or whatever since our daughter was taken out by Spader it's like it is our baby and it's called the Endless Honeymoon Podcast and we give relationship

advice live relationship advice you know a la Dr. Drew kind of a thing but we also make fun of people and then we hear people's deep dark secrets on our secrets hotline. Wow. Sean, you do podcasts. Yeah, I do a podcast. It's not been easy, but it's been fun.

And oh, wait, can I read the hotline? It can be rewarding. Can I give your listeners the hotline? Yeah, for them to call the secret line? Just play a whole episode off your phone. Honestly, would you guys stick around for me? Kevin, you got clips of his thing? That would be very funny if you had selected clips for mine.

But listen, 213-222-8608. You can leave your deepest, darkest secret, and we'll play it, get it off your chest. Or you can call, and we'll call you and give you relationship advice. You can make an appointment for a therapeutic roast session. Oh, wow. So, yeah, I'm a podcaster now. You ever got guests on there yeah we have guests on there you guys want to come on nope not me but how why did you ask why ask about guests i

mean that felt like a cue do it okay yeah i'd love to yeah all right it doesn't feel like you guys do but i would i would yeah i'll i'm going to ask all right we'll see what happens okay and we'll see if our producer can kind of step to the plate with a little bit more savvy and gusto. Is it an independent podcast? No, it's on something called Cloud 10. I've heard of this. Yeah.

Yes, that's the Superstore. That's where the Superstore people work. That's right, isn't it? Yeah. Well, they actually launched a podcast network. The store from Superstore. The Store from Superstore. The Store from Superstore. Super, super meta.

So you're in there with the guys from Mad Men and America Ferrer. Yeah, America Ferrer, the guys from Mad Men. Mark McKinney. Nico Santos. Lauren Ashe. Colton Dunn. Colton Dunn.

Yeah, just a lot of great people on the podcast every week. And you know what? Podcasting, for my money, easiest money I've ever made in my life. Bye. Hollywood Handbook. That was a HeadGum Podcast.