Hollywood Handbook - Natalie Morales, Our Magazine Friend

Episode Date: November 5, 2024

The Boys play a game with NATALIE MORALES from Chef Kevin’s video game magazine. Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Van Pelt. Find what piques your imagination. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. And I am gonna talk about Hayes' sunglasses. Okay, well the show's already started. Yeah, so the song is playing, so the show's starting. You, of course, as always, had an extensive rundown

of things you want to talk about on the show. Always the fucking Natalie show. We just had to start the song. All your talking points. It was going on for so long. Just do it on the show. Like, I don't need to hear your entire diary before we start recording. Oh, is that why you still keep having me on your show then?

Because I bother you so much. Yeah, once every like, yeah, two and a half years. Yeah, that is why I keep having once every like two and a half years. Yeah, that is why I keep having you on every two and a half years. Yeah, because you just run out of people who like you, I guess, and I just keep coming back. She likes us. Yeah, I do.

That's not even what I took away from it. I thought it was you ran out of people who like you, now you have to have me on someone who doesn't. She just said it right there. She just said it. Can we, just for this show, can we be on the same team? Can we not fight against each other?

Can we fight against other people? It's a legendary Halloween. Right? Isn't it? Look at that empty chair where I should be. Yeah, so talk about this. You're not out of town or anything. We have you as a Zoom guest.

I, of course, was excited to see you, but I do understand what happened, which is that you knew Kevin would insist on a hug. Yeah. And so the excuse, the excuse machine was fired up and. Listen, Kevin, I've known him just about as long as I've known you guys. I can't say I have as deep of a relationship with Kevin. You have my phone number, do you have the boys number?

It's deeper, it's a deeper relationship with Kevin. I actually don't know if I have your phone number, you guys don't know I do have Kevin's phone number. There's absolutely no way, let me see if I have your phone number, I'm fairly certain I don't. But let me see. Yeah you do. Yeah. Hang on.

Sometimes I forget your names. Hold up, here we go. And so you have to text us. Yeah, usually I would look at the bottom of the Zoom thing and I'd go, oh, that's Kevin, but it's Kevin, you know? I know one of you is Hayes. Yeah, and she's got a little bitmoji. I'm calling her.

I do not have a bitmoji. Do not slander me like that. So you have a unique, you have like a personalized ringtone that I hear when I call you. I have it on Do Not Disturb like a good guest. Are you calling me right now? I am, yeah.

Okay, well I'm not getting it. Does it do like a Britney Spears ring or something when I call you? It's a voicemail, thank you. It's a voicemail. Yeah you. It's a voicemail. Yeah. So you can't hear that? No, cause I have it on Do Not Disturb.

Okay. Cause I don't wanna be disturbed while I'm doing this really special show. Well, it's a good thing I did open my phone. While I'm doing it, why won't you date me with Nicole Byer? Yeah, that's this episode. We gotta do something to bump the numbers. Wait, is that a green screen behind you or is it, can you guys see that?

No, this is all green screen back here. Is there like stuff back there? Yeah, there's, let's see, there's a pair of golden headphones and that's all. And some grapes on your table next to you. Those real grapes, do you have that many grapes? I don't know about any of that. No, that would be too many grapes. That would be too many. No, and I'm all wearing green bodysuits as well.

I mean, what I had requested was sort of like, it's medieval, but it's also like in the future. Yeah, okay. It's like a castle and it's like kind of just like. You got that. I wanted a space castle from the future. I think you both got that with the orange lucite table that you have there.

I think it blends everything you wanted. So whichever- This is a wooden stump, like what I'm experiencing. Whichever one of you guys is Hayes, can you explain the glasses? You have some eye thing or is it because it's Halloween? Whichever one of you guys is Hayes, can you explain the glasses? You have some eye thing or is it because it's Halloween? Whichever one of you guys is Hayes and then it's the only one with glasses so you know which one is Hayes.

I was guessing. Yes, I'm wearing glasses, I mean, well, that's also green screen, I mean, on my actual face. His face is painted green, yeah. All of this is getting filled in digitally. I can't show my actual face and body on this fucking thing. Just so you're, listen, I'm gonna take over here for just a minute as you guys are used to.

Oh no, yeah. Yeah, you've been such a. So just so the listeners know, I did wake up with a really insane migraine. Passive participant so far. And so that's why my energy sorted out. What's your excuse? What's, are you guys troubled?

What's happening? You guys seem sorted down. Just life has been kicking the shit out of me, man. Life has been knocking my happy peel ass up and down Main Street for quite a while now. And I think I'm just facing it. Up and down Main Street? Halloween, yeah.

Main Street. Yeah, Main Street. Yeah, Main Street. Along the parade route. Mm-hmm, yeah, getting run over by the GOP float with the big elephant on it. It runs over my fucking skull. Wow, you're really painting a picture. I wish I was painting a picture.

I wanted to be an artist. You know what I became instead? Podcaster. It is kind of an artist. From your lips, Natalie. Yeah. I don't even think you believe that. Wait, I don't think I let you finish explaining

what the glasses were. The glasses are. Oh my God, you don't yell out. You literally knocked. Just shouted the blasted the exactly blasted the butt out. You literally knocked your butt out of my ear. Sometimes my with migraines,

the only way out is through. You know what I mean? I don't. We just got to bring it. You want to scare the migraine out of your head. So it's living in there comfortably causing you pain. And what he's going to do is he's going to make your head an inhospitable environment for the migraine by being loud. Well, it's already that. So I see you're not like, I'm guessing it is an I thing, which is why you keep deviating from the topic of your talk. It is an I thing. Okay, okay. In that I. Oh my God, I'm gonna lower the volume.

Yeah, you do have to do that with Hayes. Uh-huh. Am concerned with some of our guests, but they don't know how fast they were going. Mm-hmm. Oh no. They have no idea why I pulled them over. Roll the windows down please.

It's that kind of, and it's been helping a little bit with some of these guests. Larson's in registration. Listen, I didn't write that show. I was a hired actor and I made the best of it. Okay. I heard the best of it. Okay? And- I heard you contributed some stuff.

I didn't, I didn't. I was actually pretty word perfect. I heard you were actually the Riff Dogg general. Please call me Riff Dogg general. And then it was your idea, you didn't like write the scripts but like they weren't just an inch They weren't like being just an inch just an inch back from the mic if that's the volume you're gonna stay at okay It's the why don't you take off the cat ears that if you're trying to not hear me so well

Why do you put on a completely new ear? I did I did cause it that the cat ears were the cause of the mic pause at PAWS I did pause it that the cat ears were the cause of the migraine. Pause it, P-A-W-S. You know, in my, can I just say this? Cause I think it's really stupid and also funny. And it just reminded me of this. I went to a university and I studied theater and acting and the university's mascot was the Panthers.

And so the drama club was called Dramatic Pause, which I always hated and loved. Well, it is stupid and hilarious that you went to a university to study acting. You're right, I agree with you. It is stupid and hilarious. It is. It's not like you can show up anywhere with an acting degree and be like, hire me.

Learn it out of a damn book. No. You gotta learn it. You gotta learn it. of the same old world. Did you guys go to any kind of school? You know what? I used to put on airs on this show as if I'd been to some big fancy school,

but it's time to come clean. I never learned a damn thing. I've got a beginner's mind, which can be a real gift. Each day I start fresh and I'm open to anything that the world suggests to me because I have not retained, remembered, assimilated anything in any way. Well, do you know your name? Do you know your name?

Well, I know what people call me. I know what people call me a lot. Hey, asshole. Hey, fucker. Yeah, people actually are calling him late for dinner, which is the one thing. Yeah, had one job, right? The only rule I made, but yeah, I get called

late for dinner, um, move it. That's not yours. I was drinking that. I'm sitting here. And like if you were drinking it, if you were really drinking it, he wouldn't be able to get it away from you. If you're really drinking something,

even if you are in the process of like actually sipping it, you kind of want someone to take it if they're able to just like go and take it like that. Oh yeah. I feel like this is the point in the in the improv show where I go like this and we and we move on to something else. Is that some kind of like a stock character that you do with these shows? I don't know if you've ever seen an improv show.

Mrs. Hands. But when they're ending something that is going badly, someone runs on the stage and just kind of wipes the imaginary slate clean. So I think we should just move on to another subject. You guys are not. Okay. Let's move on. Is it because I moved this to noon? What you said just before the show. Which was what? We were talking about your cat ears. And I was saying, can we be on the same team for this particular show? I was saying, can you guys not be against me? Can we be on the same team? I'm happy to riff.

So you asked to be on the same team. I'm a little cat. I don't remember agreeing to this. You asked to be on the same team and then when we tried to just sort of be a little playful with you were like, this is the point in the improv show where I do this. I don't know if you've ever seen an improv show.

It's like, I've done 5,000 of them. People don't do this. A sweep at it is you just run across the stage without judgment. You do not sell out the team. Listen, stop drinking that. You're getting that all wrong. I was doing that to help you.

And because I love you. Not because I am trying to be mean to you. Oh yeah, intro me. Introduce the guest. All right, well. Oh you. Oh, yeah. Introduce me. Introduce the guest. All right. Well, oh, boy. It's Natalie. Any particular credit you want us to associate you with? Some shit from my past and try to stab me in the back with it.

Let's go for it. No, it's Natalie Morales. And sometimes she says like Natalie Morales. No, not that one. But I think you should start saying Natalie Morales. Yes, that one. Yeah, the first one you think of. She can say no, not that one.

Yeah, make her, put her on the defensive. You're giving up too much ground. Natalie Morales, yup, that one. Better fucking believe it. And right before we were talking about the cat ears and you were saying that your head was hurting and Sean was speculating that the- I'm on a lot of excedrin,

so it's not hurting too bad anymore, but I feel weird, you guys. I still feel it's under there somewhere, you know? It's under the caffeine and the aspirin. There's a sense of malaise. It's lurking, yeah. Yeah. And you said-

People keep looking in this story. What do you think- Don't look at us. What do you think? The ears are just like coming out of my head, like some kind of X-Men sword. Yeah. And I've been thinking this whole time,

I gotta hear about this X-Man sword. I meant the guy- This could be my favorite X-Man. The guy, yes, Wolverine. Wolverine's so- He has four swords that come out of his hand. What else would you call them, Haze? What else would you call them?

There's no other word. Yeah. No, definitely not claws. Definitely not claws. You're getting colder. You're in Antarctica. You can't be claws. They're not claw-shaped, A. No, not like any claws I't be claws. They're not claw shaped.

A. No, not like any claws I've ever seen. They're sharp. If anything, they're knives. They're knives that come out of between his knuckles, okay? No, I think it's sword. Only because a knife, I guess, is shorter than a sword. Wolverine.

Course named after the famous quality of the wolverine carrying a sword. One of the only animals of the animal kingdom to frequently be seen carrying a sword. Natalie, how was this affecting the Halloween party schedule? What are we? What are we gonna do?

Because we need to see and be seen at every Halloween party. Are your headphones on too low Hayes? So my, what I'm always asking Kevin to do is actually turn my mic up more and more. He wants it turned up and he wants to be able to hear himself a lot. For fuck's sake. And he won't let me do it so I have to. What was even your question?

How is this affecting my Halloween party? So I guess I wasn't loud enough. Are you going to be changing your Halloween party schedule because of, as you call it, my migraine? Everything's my, my, my, my, my, my. Listen, anyone who's gone to any Halloween parties knows that they're not on Halloween of Halloween's a weekday, so my Halloween parties knows that they're not on Halloween if Halloween's a weekday. So, but Halloween parties have been had.

I am however going to probably a very loud concert tonight and I'm gonna wear earplugs and I'm hoping that I can expand the planet. Are you gonna be disrespecting the performers as you are now for being loud? You know what? Oh, guys. Or are you just getting it out of your system? I truly am just gonna take these off.

Not both, not both, just one. Hold on. Oh, God. Sounds like shit. Hayes can't adjust and so everyone's punished now. Kevin is so sad. I've never seen Kevin this upset. Kevin is so sad. I've never seen Kevin this upset. He's so sad.

Hold on, did I even start before? Kevin's the crow makeup is running. Oh, sorry, I gotta restart the recording because it stopped when I took my. That's fine, who cares? All right, it started again. You'll have two recordings, here we go. Kevin, is it that bad, the audio?

No, it just sounds like you're outside an airport. Like I'm outside an airport? Yeah. Yeah, it's supposed to sound like you're inside an airport. Yeah. Well? Ideally, there's frequent announcements

interrupting you, right? Just pretend this is what it always sounded like and it won't be that bad. She laughed. That's gourd. I knew I had something. I have a little joke I've been working on. And it's so little.

And it's maybe not a joke. It's a character. This is you. And it's so little. And it's maybe not a joke. It's a character. This is you. This is Natta Morales. Say my name again? Natta Morales. I heard Billim, okay. NaNo Remo.

This is NaNo Remo Morales. Yes, that one. As an Italian farmer during the era of the barter system. I have a migraine. I have a migraine. And now farmers today, post barter system, they would never say something like that. Well, because it's like, yeah, I'm going like. Now what do you have? Yeah, they're going like, yeah, what do you have?

I'm offering you this. I've caught these fish says the fish monger. What do you have? I have a migraine, right? So. So. have. I have a migraine, right? So perhaps Lorne Michaels would like to hear you do this. No. Oh, you're pitching this to me. Yes, it's your character.

Well, I feel like you could do it. I thought you were doing an impression of me. She's all set with Mrs. Hands. You could go for your, your, go for your SNL audition with an impression and you could do that. You could do Natalie Morales as an Italian. You do have to have impressions. Yeah, you can't just do original characters.

Yeah. Did you guys ever audition for SNL? We all jumped through Lauren's hoops at one point or another, didn't we? I'll tell you what, real mind fuck. But did you? That guy, the puppet master, right? So manipulative and he knows what he's doing.

It's crazy. In a way, one of the ways he'll make you audition is by not asking you to audition. Like that's even like, how do you respond to that? That sort of, he's always testing you. Can you do an impression of him saying your name? Okay, lemme get this straight. Hang on, cause I have to kind of go somewhere for this one.

Your name. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

Right? Natalie, Kevin has been, well, let me ask you a question. When people say someone is- You're doing it on purpose? Nothing that you're, nothing that you could be talking about. I'm doing it on purpose. Okay. The answer is no. And I, whatever it is that you- Kevin, you can equalize it. We're not even doing a it on purpose. Okay. The answer is no. And I, whatever it is that you put in.

We're not even doing a podcast on purpose. You kind of mess with the sound later, right? To make him, to make that like people not crash their cars as they're listening to this on the road, right? I'll try. Okay. Sorry, Hayes, go ahead. I, how do you say when someone is R-I-F-L-I-N-G

through something? How would you pronounce that? Rifling? How would you say it? I'll say rifling. I hear a lot of people say rifling. I thought it was rifling through. I think it is, but I just felt like you needed

an opposing POV. You think it actually is rifling, or you say, which one do you say? No, I say rifling through. I hear a lot of people rifling. I think it is, but I just felt like you needed an opposing POV. You think it actually is rifling, or you say which one do you say? No, I say rifling through. If there was two Fs. I do say rifling through. Okay. If there was two Fs, it would be rifling.

There's only one. That's what I think too, but I do hear a lot of people. Anyway, what Kevin is doing is definitely rifling. He has this magazine that he wanted to talk to us about on the last show we were recording. It's a video game magazine. And I know you're famous gamer girl. You think I'm a famous gamer girl? Kevin told me, I'm surprised to hear you think Kevin is riffling.

He told me he was a real thing, which I guess stands for Republican. I'd like to fuck. That's Kevin's new brand, but he said that was going to be. Kevin has been saying he's out here real thing.

God, Kevin. Okay. The real. Oh, Mrs. Hands. Mrs. Hands is here. Uh oh.

Hello, Mrs. Hands. What. Hands is here. Uh-oh. Hello, Mrs. Hands. What is it you'd like to hold today? Who are you looking at? There's a wall there. Why is it Mrs. Am I married to a Mr. Hands? Oh, there's no way, there's no way that Mrs. Hands does it. She kept her name because it's so, but there's no way that she didn't find a husband if the fingers are out like that some man is gonna come

mm-hmm slap a ring on there oh yeah so Kevin's got a Nintendo Power magazine. Kevin had a game that he wanted to play. He wants to play a game. Well, before I get into the game, Nellie, I have a question for you. Yeah. Do you ever mess with Edibles? Oh, my God. What do you mean by mess? He said, I'm sorry. He was the way he said it before was.

Do you ever make a mess on edibles? Do I? Kevin has been taking edibles and just like waking up. Yeah. Just all his crayons are everywhere. I'm just assuming that you mean like an edible that has a, uh, some sort of drug in it, but- He's talking about food. He's having trouble eating his food.

He calls all food edibles. Oh God, let's keep it moving. You guys, what's the point of this? Well, he's asking you a question. Do I mess around with edibles? No, do you ever make a mess when you're eating your food? So we've got to keep it moving. Kevin said, did you ever mess around with edibles? No, do you ever make a mess when you're eating your food? So we've got to keep it moving. Kevin said, did you ever mess around with edibles? You said, I'm guessing you mean an edible, but I've got to keep it moving.

I need to have a specific question so that I can answer correctly. Do you make a big mess when you are trying to eat your food? No. How? Okay. I put it in my mouth and I get it in there pretty good. Okay, I'm just it long. Oh my God. Do you guys, how do you feel about eating half of a banana and leaving the rest out for someone else to have to be responsible for that half of a rotting banana? Or like, are you like, eat the whole banana? Who's doing this?

Well, I could say how I feel about it. I think it's great. Oh my god a possum just came there was just a possum and the possum was here and They actually think it's good to leave half of erotic banana. I guess when you said posit earlier Mm-hmm. It's someone that someone heard possum. Someone heard possum. Possum is not how you say possum. That would be, if there were one S, it would be possum, but there's two.

Mm-hmm. So it's possum. Mm-hmm. Nope. Anyway, if you can take anything seriously for one fucking second, And this from the person who went to second, you answer my banana question. Well, I experience this every morning, which is that my,

one of my children will say they want a banana when in fact, they only want half of it. But children don't count. And then I'm the banana cleaner, but I just hear my wife in the other room go like, oh, dad will finish that. And I'm like, I don't know if I want to finish this. I've eaten banana, but it's like a job I have. He's trying to engage, can you hear this? No!

Here's a new rule about my thing. My rules! Okay, so now I'm the one who can't move it along. I wanna understand the question. Who is eating the banana? Who's doing this to you? No one's doing it to me. I think many, many people, I'm just questioning

whether you think one banana is a full portion size, or if you only have half a banana and it's like, fine to leave the other half out on the counter. I guess I wanna, I still don't understand like, where am I that I'm leaving it on the counter? So this is- Is it my home? The counter, Kevin's crow makeup is already

Do you do it? This is irrelevant I can answer that later, but but I want to know what you're I don't I don't want to like You know inspire your answer by you wanting to be like me. I think a banana should be either finished or appropriately stored Okay, good. So Kevin, we were talking about on the last show we recorded. I disagree. Oh no, the possum's here.

The possum came back. Kevin, what do you think? Eat the whole thing or don't eat it at all. So Kevin used to have a counter like years ago. And like this is like one of his like big possessions was that he had back in 2009 he actually had a counter in his residence now if he's like setting a banana down it's gonna that's gonna be falling five feet out of the ground. Kevin's gone, just had a bad run of luck. He brought his count, it was the one thing

he brought out to LA when he came here, he put it on the front of a bus like a bike. You know how open floor space, like that kind of design aesthetic became really popular? Kevin took it to an extreme. I see, no surfaces. Yeah, it's like basically he lives in a dance studio. Okay, Hayes, we can move on from this if you answer me.

Am I okay with weaving a banana out for someone else to eat? I just mean like, are you a half a banana eater or a whole banana eater, that's all. I, so, and you should actually learn this for your costume. I eat everything like putting the entire thing in my mouth and and pulling it out and so if it's like a fish and then the bones it'll just be bones. Unfortunately with a banana what's coming out is just the banana and the peel.

The peel remains. The little stringy bits of the banana that no one wants. Yeah, I get those for sure. And so it's just like perfect banana that's coming out. Okay, thank you for answering that. You're welcome. Whole bananas. I agree.

Whole banana or nothing is my stance. So are you going to do the fish trick at this show? How are you going to get everyone to look at you? I'm gonna go on stage. Okay. So it's a really loud concert and you'll be on stage. Yeah, it's LCD sound system. They're gonna stop the show for a second

and they're gonna go, Natalie's gonna do this fish trick and then someone will play the xylophone as each rib bone exits my mouth and then I'll go ta-da and then that'll be it. Someone, so it sounds like you don't think James could pull off the xylophone. You think you're gonna have to bring someone else in.

James doesn't really play any instruments, so. Sometimes he gets the draw. And not with that attitude he won't. Anyway, video games? When you see James, can you ask him a question for me? Oh, this is good. When he's saying that to all my friends, what did he mean by having more than one friend?

Kevin, you're too young to know, you don't know who James is, do you? My dad is friends with him. My dad knows James. Okay. They work together. Do they? Is he an LCD cell assistant? When he says that's how it starts and go back to my house. What does that mean? James said James was sharing my counter. Go ahead. James had a big project where he wanted to replace all the sounds of the New York subways with more aesthetically pleasing sounds like little bells and chimes.

It sounded like a very cool project. Never heard about it again. I agree, Kevin. Okay. Can you ask him what happened with that? I would, I'm not going, I very publicly said I'm not going to New York until that project was complete. Okay, I'll ask him and I'll report back. And I have a lot of business in New York. All right, I'll report back. Do you like seeing yourself on my camera here?

There's a delay, but I do like trying to see all your files on it. Kevin's business in New York is he has to finish dragging that piece of pizza down the stairs. It's kind of bothering now. Whose house do they go to in the song? I don't remember. They go back to your house? We go back to your house. We go back to your house.

Okay, fine. Okay, Kevin. Whose house? Who's he to your house. We go back to your house, okay. Fine. Okay, Kevin. Whose house, who's he talking to? Video games. Video games. Video. Natalie, I'm gonna- Daft Punk's playing at his house.

Yeah, that's right. That's what I said. Hello. Hollywood handbook. Guys, sometimes intimate moments happen spontaneously, and we always wanna be ready so we can perform in the bedroom. Do you think?

Yeah, so I was gonna say, that's not really my experience either. Intimate moments for me usually begin weeks earlier with me unfurling blueprints on a table. There's so much planning and scheduling involved. I have to get the crew together. Yeah, it's a lot of, yeah, there's a whole hiring process. There's a whole interview process and hiring process. And the permits.

Oh my gosh. Yeah. The amount of red tape and bureaucratic BS involved in intimate moments. In my experience, this sounds really nice that something could happen spontaneously. That sounds really nice. And- So I guess you can do that with HIMSS.

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healthcare provider who will determine if appropriate restrictions apply. See website for details and important safety information subscription required. Price varies based on product and subscription plan. Whoa. Hollywood handbook. Natalie, I'm going to tell you about a video game and you have to guess what the headline of the article is. In that magazine?

Yes. I guess you could. Well, this is easy, obviously. I could guess this. So this is kind of a big, big spooky guy. And he's like an animal kind of like, look, you have to look, Natalie. Oh, I got to switch the camera so you can see. You see that guy? Uh huh. Mm hmm. So there's a robot. Yes.

Actually, I think I showed the wrong guy. I knew this would happen. Kevin's been planning this game for six months. He was saying before I know I'm gonna show the wrong guy. You see that guy? The guy in the armor, but I can't really tell what he is under the armor. He's in the bear. He's in the bear.

He's in the bear? He could be in the bear of the show. He's in the bear department for Aminals. What would you call the headline? And there's, mind you, a lot of weapons. I'm so confused about this. What's to be confused about? This is one of the simplest games Kevin's ever presented on the show.

Mostly the bear department for animals. What would you call the headline? Here's the guy. You saw the guy. No, not that guy. He's, yeah. This other guy. Okay, it's a different guy.

It's the second guy he showed you of the two guys. He's in the bear department for animals. And what would you call the headline? And keep in mind there's a lot of weapons. And is the, is the video game called the bear department for aminals? That was a headline, not the video game. What would you call the headline?

You're not guessing the video game. There's a lot of weapons. You're guessing what you would call the headline. I know, I'm asking, he said, I'll give you the name of the video game and you have to guess the headline. I'm asking what the name of the video game is. Kevin, is it like the right to arm bears?

That's great. That's great. That's great. That's really great. You wanna read it, Natalie? Oh, do I wanna read it? Forget it. It says bear arms. Sean got it.

I'm only seeing myself. Oh, that's right. I knew I would show the wrong camera. Well, it says bear arms, but I thought, I didn't understand also the bear department for animals. I didn't know if he was a bear. Oh, that's the title of the, that's the title. But you get, I still wanted to play and you gave it away.

Hey, first one to guess it guesses it Natalie, sorry. Are there multiple rounds, Kevin? That's round one. I really hope not. This is a really good kind of spooky Halloween game. They should play this at like kids' schools and stuff for Halloween. So, Hayes, are you saying that you're going to be Michelle Gonzalez from Dead to Me for Halloween?

You have one part of the costume ready? Yeah, and I think it's time. I think it's time. I think it's okay. For years, a guy like me could not go be Michelle Gonzalez from Dead to Me for Halloween. So I basically have to lock myself in the house while everyone else is going out being Michelle Gonzalez Ramirez for Halloween. And- Don't just throw Latin names out there. That's not what I said.

What did you say? I said could be Gutierrez. Gutierrez, okay. Yeah. God. But you were throwing Latin names out. Am I wrong? Like you were-

This is exactly why you shouldn't do it. You're so close to being canceled. You're like, I'm just ready. This is exactly, every time I try to go You're like, oh, this is fun. Every time I try to go out there in that costume, this is exactly the kind of society I met with. Yeah. I'm just, can we dream of a better world

where I can do this? I believe we've actually shrunk the show to a size where we cannot be canceled. It's just, it's something of a defense mechanism. Just sort of sloughing off of visibility. You know, ants can fall like hundreds of feet and survive. I just checked my missed calls just because I was bored for a second.

And I saw that your call, and now I know your name is Sean Clements. Uh oh. I'm maybe happy. All and now I know your name is Sean Clements. Uh oh. I'm maybe happy. All right. I figured it out. You know, you're not gonna need it. I should remember

because your name collectively is Sean Hayes, so I should know that. You're just never gonna need to know it, you know? I need to know it every two years, and then I forget it, and then you call, and then Kevin desperately calls me the night before I have to be on a show. And he goes, oh my God, everyone in the world

has dropped out, can you please come tomorrow? We only worked on two TV shows together, I just like, you're gonna learn my name? Stupid. It sucks. Yeah, that's true. All right, here we go. Is your name, your name on Instagram or do you have some funny name? No, it is your name. Yeah, here we go. Is your name your name on Instagram

or do you have some funny name? No, it is your name. Yeah, unfortunately. Yeah. I couldn't come up with anything. Okay guys, what else are we gonna talk about? Round two. Round two, here we go.

Round two. They want rounds these days. Has anyone told Kevin this is a really boring game? Well. I can't hear you, you're not recording yourself. I am. I did everything you asked, Kevin. We'd never even given the game a chance.

We haven't even seen what the second round is. By the way, maybe you're bored because I got the first one. This, I, and playing games with this type of person, with an. Do you mean me? With contempt prior to investigation. That just sounds like a boring game you guys. But a singular trait which can keep you

in everlasting ignorance, Natalie. Wow. And it is contempt prior to investigation. Sorry, didn't mean to drop the Herbert Spencer on your happy meal ass. I went there. He went there. This next round is called Sound Bytes.

I have a quote and you have to finish the quote. Okay. This guy has sunglasses on. It says to put the- What was the first, sorry, what was the first route called? Guess the headline. Guess the headline. Guess the headline.

That's right. Okay, this route is called Soundbites. Is it also from this magazine? Yep. Yes, that's the whole game. The magazine is the source. Everything in the game is from the magazine. Are you guys sponsored by this magazine?

We could be. You should be. They probably have no money. No, they've got Kevin. They have no money. They have no money. They have no money. They have no money. They have no money. They have no money. They have no money. They have no money. Are you guys sponsored by this magazine? We could be. You should be.

They probably have no money. No, they've got Kevin's money. He bought it. That's true, they do have Kevin's money. They'll just give Kevin's money back to him. And he has to keep buying it because he can't put it on the counter. It keeps falling down. Now it's so far away he has to buy another one. Give me the quote, Kevin.

It's a sound bite. To put this in context, Grand Theft Auto V grossed, wait for it, 8.6 billion. And then it says, ah, but think of the exposure, dot, dot, dot. What do you think this person says next? Oh, what do they say next? I thought I was guessing who said it. No, that's boring. Can you tell me what this quote is just one more time?

Let's hear this whole quote. Here's a quote from the top. No, and you don't think any context from like before that this would be helpful? Yeah. They're saying to put this in perspective, but we have no idea what they're putting in perspective. So it's an underperforming video game they're talking about, I think.

To put this in the context, Grand Theft, and he has sunglasses on Natalie. To put this in the context, Grand Theft. I'm in there grossed wait for it 8.6 billion dollars, but think of the exposure dot dot dot. What does the person say? I'm in grant that oh doing my I understand now They're talking about someone who wasn't paid like somebody who worked who was like under Compensated for their contribution to Grand Theft Auto, right? under compensated for their contribution to Grand Theft Auto, right? Could be. I'm sitting in this chair doing my podcast, but it has a little wheel on it.

I'm driving around doing my podcast. I've been chased by the police. Is that the end of the quote you think? Um, let me think. Ah, but think of the exposure. It's really hard to play a game when you don't care. Um, think of the exposure. So I said, fine.

That's my submission. It seems snarky, whatever they're going to say next, right? Yeah. Ah, think of, ah, think of the exposure and then something that is like, it's actually not appropriate compensation either that they received neither money nor appropriate exposure. Having your blank in the blank, blank, blank, you know, like it's not.

Something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Kevin, can I have the rest of the quote? I'm so curious now. I'll give you a hint. It's it's three words. And it's something you often say to me when I ask of anything. Shut the fuck up.

Closer. Go fuck yourself. Nellie gets it. Nellie has one point. You know that is what I was gonna say. Round two is complete. They say that in this magazine? Whoa.

Wow. This magazine really is the edge. Kevin has to go in the back. This magazine really is the edge, yes. Now we got Natalie on board. Honestly the game's fucking humming now. I still want to stop playing now. Do you have anything in the back?

What's round three called, Kevin? Well, I need to know at least what round three is called, then we'll decide if we want to play again. Guys, I take it back. It's boring being on the same team. This is what the show's about. I don't know if we have been but I just wish you've been here in studio. It would have been so nice to have you here and it would have been really great I think that energy really we could have really done a great episode. Yeah, you think that's what's doing it

It could have been really really special Halloween It could have been really, really special Halloween episode. It could have been a really, really memorable, incredible Halloween episode. And now it's going to go down in history as one of the worst episodes of your show. One of the worst Halloween episodes, yeah. Specifically Halloween. I look forward to their Halloween episode every year.

It's not even coming out until like- Halloween handbook. It's not even coming out until election day. Yeah, you're releasing these on election day? This will calm everyone's nerves. This ramble of bullshit. Kind of real fight all over the place. I think what's going on at this episode

will put some of the stuff in the election into perspective a little bit. Like there's actual like really horrible things. It's boring to be on the same team says that of Morales. Well with you. Okay. I don't mean that as an insult. It's just true.

Got it. If that's what's going on here. If she's over on team Tony Hinchcliffe. Oh, hi. He's not on my team.. If she's over on team Tony Hinchcliffe. He's not on my team. So you're not on my team. You must be over there with Tony. Yeah. Cause that's who's on the opposite team of mine.

I'm against that team. Don't get me started on that guy. Um, someone just commented to me and someone, uh, people have been saying that we should go be on kill Tony. Yes, they have actually said that. They have suggested that. Yes. It is a podcast, and I would not do it without first giving him a little piece of my mind.

Oh my gosh. And then I can go into some of my routine. I would never be on that show unless I had a platform to give him a some of my routine. I would never be on that show unless I had a platform to give him a piece of my mind first. I'd say, hey, sss. I thought you said you would not go on that show without consulting me first.

Oh, so everyone who goes on, now we're just creating a space where only people who agree with Tony Hinchcliffe can. Can go on Kill Tony. Can go on it. Do you think he would? It should be just me going on it and not him anymore. Guys, who are you going to vote for?

He can do a warm handoff. Who am I going to vote for? The highest bidder as always. My vote is for sale. I have been on record for so long. Wrap up in five minutes. Is there a round three of the game, Kevin? Final round.

Final round. Oh, this is where it doubled the points. On election day. I just want to, I want to take 30 seconds to apologize to your listeners for this. Dr. Jill Frankenstein. That's who you're voting for, Jason. I will be writing in Dr. Jill Frankenstein. That's what you're voting for, Hazel. I will be writing in Dr. Jill Frankenstein.

And just by writing the word, Franken in front of her name on the bubble. Do you think it's pronounced Frankenstein? Yeah. Oh, okay. Sorry. You're thinking of, so the doctor. The doctor was Frankenstein. Dr. Frankenstein.

The monster is Frankenstein. The doctor Frankenstein. The monster is Frankenstein. Frankenstein was the monster. It's a riffling monster named Frankenstein. Frankenstein. If there are around three of this, I truly feel bad for your listeners. This is the best episode. You're wrong. I truly like they want your listeners. Mm-hmm

This is the best episode You're wrong Stein Who'd he vote for her? Um, I don't think it was it's my fault that it's been so bad. I feel like you guys heaven What is the final round? What's the name of round three? escape velocity escape Wow What's the name of round three escape velocity escape Wow Wow the first one was called guest a headline The second was called sound bites. This one is called escape velocity That's the name the video of this on your patreon another big picture people will be watching the video Yeah, they can see how how adorable you look Sean with your feet all on

She likes us and she loves us and now we're adorable. Yeah, that was cool. It's very adorable, the position you're in. There's actually a little, there's actually sort of a warm side to this show sometimes. This is the most epic Halloween. It's delivered by Natalie. Yes, that one.

I do like you guys a lot. Natalie, I have a side game. We're friends. What's your side gig? It's called. Side game, I think, right? It is kind of a side gig. We're friends. What's your side gig? It's called. Side game, I think, right? It is kind of a side gig. Mm-hmm.

This can double or nothing your points. Oh, okay. I want you to guess. But she has no point. Oh no, she has one. She does have one point, okay. I want you to guess how many people you think are working in this office right now.

Does what Sean and Hayes do count? I am working, he is not. So I am currently at work, but this is not his work. But this is my work. Two. Well, Natalie has no points. And Kevin, he gave you a clue, didn't he? That this is his side gig.

Gave you a little bit of a clue. Well, gig means you're working too. This is not, no, this is his side gig. Well, Natalie, you could tie it all up with the final round, escape velocity. Okay. That's the name of this article for the time Kevin What were you like were you referring to the fact that there's actually more people out there than I've ever seen before

Well, a heap of them just left Okay, a whole heap of them. Okay, and this is like some This is Kevin's weird like Native America thing for Halloween, he's like, it's so bad. You have to guess how many pages. How many pages is this? It's starting to feel that way, isn't it? Thrown out Latin names, just random.

Yeah. It's like, Hayes didn't used to be like this, man. It's the sunglasses. It must be this character. It must be it must be Natalie's character that I'm inhabiting. And it those glasses that she didn't write, but she sure she brought a lot to it. Those those glasses, those mirrored cop glasses, I feel like they do do something to some part of your brain

that just makes slowly starts pressing on the button that makes you racist, right? Mm-hmm. She, I mean, she didn't write the character, but if you show up to set with these glasses and a badge. Wrap up now, thank you, okay. Bye. Pfft.

Whoa. Hollywood handbook. That was a hate gum podcast.