Hollywood Handbook - Nick Wiger, Our Segment Advisor

Episode Date: August 15, 2017

NICK WIGER from the Doughboys has come to visit the boys and help them come up with some new segments for their show. This episode is brought to you by Chapman University (www.chapman.edu/grad).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. braun uh we're playing house of the dead 2 we're um uh we're the part like where g is like injured and he gives us the file where we can see all the weak points and stuff and we like just started and we're playing you know three-way where i take a shot toss the we're doing like a round robin thing where we like cycle each other in after every shot right and. Max and Scooter. And it's like, my turn, you know, I do the headshot and the toss to Max. Max fires and misses and then says, well, it's been fun. See you guys. Puts the gun in his mouth and starts firing. He fires probably 20 times.

Whoa. And I was like. Had he ever done that before? He never missed before oh so i'm and but he looks kind of like embarrassed a little bit and like kind of surprised was he chewing on the gun while it was in his mouth like he thought he could eat it as it wasn't working he was starting to like chew harder and harder that like maybe i'm not like a good sandwich or something yes yeah exactly so he like i think then it became like oh i'm not. And go like, mm, that's a good sandwich or something. Yes, yeah, exactly. So he like, I think then it became like,

oh, I'm just eating this. It's okay. Yeah. But then he was like kind of embarrassed. He just went to like sit down for he said that like, oh, I'm like, I'm kind of tired.

And so like he went to go sit down. So I don't know. Now speaking of him never missing, this leads me to a good question about Max Mingala. Is he hot or is he a stud? Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like, is he so fucking hot or is he just like a huge stud? I think he is definitely hot. Uh-huh. But sometimes when I look at him. As you catch him from the side, am I saying what you were going to say? Yes, yes, yes. Thank you. You sort of go like.

Sometimes when I look at him, I'm like, is this guy really a stud? Yeah. Yeah. And so then I go like, okay. I'm, you know, not that, not that he can't be both, but which one is he? Yeah. He is hot. I like, I like that he looks rich.

Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook and Insider's Guide to Kicking Butt and Dropping Names in the Red Carpet Line. They call us in this industry, we call showbiz. People. Shows, podcasts we're doing. People listen to the show. They have their earbuds in, they're driving. What else do they like? What else do the people who listen to the show like?

Thank you. How can we make them like this show? Do the stuff that they want. People like Doughboys. They... Right? Yeah. So they are listening to that.

They're not listening to this. What do we do? People are freaking out about Doughboys. We have done Doughboys. They're pissing their pants. And come back here, and this show is still the same. I always think, oh, we'll do Doughboys and come back, and now we'll be them, basically.

Yes, that is what I thought was going to happen. We are still us. And the second time I thought, okay, it didn't work the first time, but this time I'll really do it right. And then I came back. We kept staying us, and we didn't have any funny good segments that anyone liked, and no one wanted to listen again, and no one was a fan, and they all wanted Doughboys. And can I say, you know, first of all, spoiler alert, we got Nick Weiger.

Hi, guys. Hi, Nick. Hi, Nick. Like, you know, I am just such a big Burger Brigade Spoon Boy fan man, and I mean it. And we tease each other, and we take these shots, and we're cynical, and we're jealous, and we think that all your money should be in our pocket, and you stole our fans, and we hate each other and you guys doing

a patreon makes it more difficult for us to do a patreon because there is a limited amount of right podcast money to go around how much you're going to spend on podcast subscriptions exactly and you guys are saying we get this this is ours that's you that's you saying you cannot have this but we are we do we love that uh we're so supportive of it so fun and funny that you guys started later but started doing the patreon earlier and i'm a spoon burger man and i love all of it it's so fun for me it's it's what i feel like if the av club were to write up this ongoing dynamic between our two podcasts what they would say is playfully antagonistic. Okay. Yeah, that sounds like one of those guys.

Do me. Do you? Yeah, what's the AV club call me? AV club would say I'm deliciously naughty. Okay. Don't do me. No, please. Are you sure?

Yeah, I really don't want to. You really? Okay, are you sure? No, really do not do it. Thank you. I won't do it. You really? Okay, are you sure? No, I really do not do it. Thank you. I won't do it. You do these segments. But he's got something of a vicious brilliance, doesn't he? I know that wasn't it.

I'm really sorry. I know that wasn't you doing it because I said not to, so I know that wasn't you doing it. No, but I was asking Nick. Am I wrong? I'm not going to say, but we're not doing Hayes as per his request. When you first did the show, you were barely Doughboys, and now you really are Doughboys so much.

Do you remember when you first did it? Oh, yeah. No, he had not been mixed in the bowl and put in the oven. Right. No yeast had been added. Okay, and that's better. And that's. No yeast had been added. Okay. And that's better. And that's better,

and I'm seeing why people... Yes, and now he's got a veritable yeast infection. So let's get down to it. Some of these segments, because we do them for a little while sometimes. We forget to do them again. We aren't really sure

if people like them. We don't know what they are. We don't really know when we're doing them. And then afterwards, we're like, if we had to do it again, what would it be? Yeah. We would have to listen to our old episodes of our show, which are behind a paywall that we don't have access to. So that means we would have to ask people who listen to be like, go back and tell us what our old segments are. Now there's a line of communication open

that we can't close as easily as it was to open. With the kind of person who paid for a subscription to hear our old episodes. So then we're going like, what else do they want to talk about? So that's a problem for us. So we've paid

all our money to you to come be a big segment consultant and kind of help us come up with some new segments, try to remember some old segments that we've done. And talk about some of yours. That's what I would really love to start with. Where did they come from?

Like, where did they come from? What was the origin of some of our signature segments? Some of your stuff. I'm going to gesture to you guys, and then I'll describe to your listeners where they came from. Right here, as I tap on my skull. Okay, and Hayes is going to be able to describe what he's doing. He was tapping on his skull, so I guess it's from in there. Yeah, from in my brain.

So it's not Mitch doing that. To me, I always thought that Mitch was kind of the person who comes up with the game, and then it's like, hey Nick, you're kind of the host. I designed this kind of intricate activity. I like to think of Mitch as sort of a playground architect, and you're like a little

kid, and he sort of sets up the slide, and then you go down it, and then you jump on the swings and you go, Mitch, push me, push the swings you go mitch push me push me that's funny that i feel like that's kind of the opposite of how it works in practice that's funny that you guys that's not how it comes okay so he's designing games and like sort of math problems just for his own purposes he does not like those aren't used in the show i mean yeah if he's doing any of that that's that's his own that's how he spends his free time, you know. But no, for the show itself, yeah.

I just know he just has that kind of mind, just like designing challenges for himself. A beautiful mind, if you will. Yeah. One the AV Club may describe as intricately twisted. Okay. And that was Mitch, so that's good. That was Mitch, yeah. So even though it could apply to Hayes, we're not doing Hayes.

No, we're not doing Hayes. So talk about some of the segments. What's the worst one? The worst one we've done, let's see. We did an episode very early on where we tried a segment called Sight of Guys. Sight of Guys. Now let me try to figure out what that is a play on. I think I have an idea.

Okay. Do you want to hear it? Is it like Sight of Fries? I don't think so. Okay, go ahead. I think it's... Wait, what did you say? Sight of Fries.

Oh, that's better than mine. What was yours? You were so excited to go first. Flight of flies. Flight of flies? Well, I saw a fly earlier today. So that is a reference. It is a callback to the fly you saw.

And you won't believe what he was doing. Was he flying around? Well, I mean, I guess that's why we hire you, right? It's because you got all the answers already. But yeah, Flight of Flies. So that sort of was in my head as a thing. Okay. But is he right with Side of Fries?

Yeah, so here's the thing. Hayes is right because Flight of Flies is not like a thing that people say. Okay. So that's just a thing you just said just now. Okay. No, I got the note. No. So, like, that's just a thing you just said just now. Okay. And so... No, I got the note. No.

So, I'm just saying, it's a food podcast, Sight of Fries. You've said, yeah, yeah. No. You straightened it out. Hayes is right. That's fine. Okay. We don't need anything else.

All right. Great. Yeah, I got it. But anyway, we did that very early on in the podcast. And part of the reason we did that was because Doughboys, one of the original names we were considering, was Sight of Guys. Wow. Wow. Yeah.

Imagine how huge the show could have been. It's so big now. Right. If you had called it Side of Guys instead of Doughboys, because dough is rarely a factor in any of the stuff that you're eating on the show. Well, yeah. I mean, I guess if you include bread and tortillas and tortillas, you know, and pizza dough and the like. Can I just say, can I just say, can I just say, please,

I said flight of flies. So for you to say it's not a thing that people say, like, by definition, you're saying it even to tell me that. So, like, that's not right. He did just say it. So the way in which it's fine that Hayes is right. I'm happy for Hayes. I'm glad.

And it makes you, it makes it seem like you're accusing him of lying, of seeing the fly earlier. Yes, right. And which I really did see, and he really was pretty huge. You know, when the AV Club writes the- And just to say, Nick, I think he actually might be lying about it.

Yeah, I mean, I just think when the AV Club writes up the recap of this episode, they might be asking, when Sean was riled up, was that a shoot or was that a work? Now, see, this would be huge because I don't know what that means, but what would be really big for us is if we did get written up in that and we can just basically do it for them, not about me. But during this, say, this is what you can say about

that part of the show because there is some some reason that they're not doing it and i wonder if it's because we aren't writing it for them as we right we're making them come up with everything yeah but i think he really was lying about that why because he came in here today he like he wasn't mentioning it at like he didn't say anything about it it's only now that he's that he's come up with that well maybe it was buzzing around in his subconscious, so give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was sort of just thinking about it, and then it came out of his mouth when you put a microphone.

You know, you put a microphone in front of somebody, you know what comes out? The truth. He's saying that there's a fly in his brain, and he opened his mouth and it came out. I mean, I don't mean like literally like a fly flew into his ear and worked its way into his brain. What happens inside Side of Guys?

Okay, so here was the thing of Side of Guys. It was just we had – we got a bunch of fast food sides from the same restaurant and then decided to rank them. And the thing was it was just like – that sounds fine. That sounds lateral with all our other segments. Sounds incredible. Okay, well, here's the thing. It was just kind of it's it actually becomes a little abstract when you're weighing like onion rings versus i think we did taco bell and we did

like a side of beans versus like a side of their and some might say that that is what the rest of the show is yeah as well so you're basically saying here's the show where we let's take a little break from the where we eat the food from the restaurant and we talk about whether it's good. Now is a little bonus segment. We'll eat the food from the restaurant and talk about whether it's good.

That might actually be the correct diagnosis for it. And also the issue of if you get fast food from a restaurant and then we eat it on the podcast, as you guys know,

from two times veterans of the pod, we try to go in advance because then we can digest the meal and discuss it. And then if you try to eat in the studio while in the air, you got them chomping sounds.

Yeah. And then you've also got. Sounds incredible. But weirdly, having eaten with Mitch, it's as disturbing in the other direction from how silent it is. Right. It's like it's falling down his throat. He's internalizing it.

I mean, that's the thing. It's like, you know, it's that beautiful mind of his. Yeah. Right? Yeah. He's just always thinking. But his eating is so quiet. Yeah, his eating is very, is stealthy.

Oh, I think I found a picture of the fly. Here, I'll show it to you. Okay. Deleted it. It's in my, damn, my slippery thumb. Well, it was. You didn't even make an effort to turn your phone around. Well, because I...

Because it was deleted. Yes, because I deleted it. What do you want to say? Yeah. As I was turning it, it deleted. No, your wrist didn't turn. You were just holding it there. Your thumb went indeliberately.

Oh, he did pick up his phone. Yes, I was holding it up and I had found it and it had, I think, like 12 wings or something. It was really unique. But anyway, that was real. Now we get to the really good segment. Yes, now let's get into the – One that's so good.

What's the best one you've ever done? I would say the one that we get – that gets discussed the most is our – when we debuted in our first episode, a snack or whack. And I've been a part of this. You guys, yeah. It sounds incredible. It's very, very simple, and it's very straightforward. I think this is part of the reason why this segment works.

We just get a snack, for instance, spicy Cheez-It. We're just going to say spicy Cheez-It. We're going to open this up, and we're all going to taste it, and we're going to decide whether it's a snack, whether it's something that's good, or whether it's a whack, whether it's something that's bad. It's it's a whack, whether it's something that's bad. It's binary. It's very easy for people to process.

We can do something with this. Yeah, absolutely. This guy's doing a commercial for his show on our show. That's what I'm realizing this is. Is that going to help us? Maybe this should have been a private meeting. And we're paying him, I guess, to do... What we could have done is have this conversation.

Then we do the show. We use the knowledge have this conversation. Then we do the show. We use the knowledge from this conversation on the show. Well, we only start it now. For next time. Well, okay, we're starting the show right now. We'll just come in here, yes. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook, and here we go. So I saw a big fly.

It was real. And I just have to tell you that that's the truth. And we are going to talk about our new segment that Hayes just came up with himself. And Nick has to play, and it's on our show. It's called Snack or Whack. Yes, good. Wait a minute. And we bring in people from the office, like earwolf people.

And we sit them down, and we say, all right, is this dude looking like a snack? Or is this dude looking like a whack? Yes. So wait, so you're judging their personal appearance. Their personal appearance. Their vibe, I guess. Yeah, and we, you know, feel little parts and we say like, is this so ugly, a person, or is he looking like a snack? so ugly a person or is he looking like a snack?

Yeah, and we squeeze them and we'll get a big fistful of different sections of them. Do you mean physically manipulate them like with calipers? Yeah. Like you're really measuring them out? Yes.

Oh, God, where are my calipers? Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Let me just say this, and I'm not, you know, I know you guys are maybe being a little antagonistic here, just appropriating the name of one of our existing segments. But I would just say on Doughboys, but here's what I would say.

It's not the same thing. Okay, it's not the same thing. Here's what I would say. Even if I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say you didn't just lift the name. Why would you say if food was ugly? Well, again, we're not judging whatever people. I mean, a V Club would be describing you right now as defensively being like a total weenie. You think they'd use that verbiage?

Yeah. It doesn't quite sound like the A.V. Club's voice. Yeah, they call you like a friggin' little weenie bitch for friggin' not even realizing that it's not the same segment. It's a different segment. So, Sam, if I can interrupt you looking at what bands are performing on the Warped Tour. It's tomorrow. Did you know Hatebreed's playing? And Strung Out and Sick of It? Yes,

I knew that. We are going to do a segment called Snack or Whack. You're not going to surprise Hayes with any of the Warped Tour headliners. Oh shit, Suicide Machines are playing. Sam. Yes. What you do, just sit and look here. Hit me.

Just look straight ahead. Mm-hmm. The Warped Tour is so old it holds still. And that's what the AV club might say. Nice. Yes.

And, okay. Oh, careful there. Do like, push your, like your chest, like hold your chest and like kind of push it up. Squish, squish it. Are you like a cleavage?

Yeah, just make up. Don't say it like that. Yeah, basically. Is it like muscle cleavage? Yeah. Put it with your hands. Push it together. Yes.

It's not muscle cleavage. Yes. To me, that's looking like a snack. Yeah, when he does that, Sam is looking like a snack. But he's usually not doing that. So then does that make him a whack? I think Sam, I would say, is normally a whack. But when we help him, he can be looking like a snack.

When we sort of fix his posture a little bit and have him, you know, kind of squeeze his frontal torpedoes together and push them out. Do you guys remember Save Ferris? Yeah, I remember Save Ferris. They're playing. Sure, yeah. How about that? The dude destroyed his voice.

Mm-hmm. He fucked up his throat or whatever. Who, the girl from? Yeah, they had a lady singer. Oh, wait. Okay, what's the band I'm thinking of? Veruca Salt. Saves the Day or something?

So that was Snack or Whack. Right. Are we doing another? Do you guys want, I mean, do you like, because this is the thing you kind of brought me in to help you out with segments. Yeah. You're paying me an exorbitant fee.

No, we didn't. And so I just wanted to say, do you want any notes on what we just did or do you feel comfortable with how that went about? You want to tell us why it was good? Well, okay, here's what was good about it. Yeah. Is that...

The name. Okay, the name is good. It's the name of one of our segments. I would say it's maybe a little bit confusing because it's such a long road from snack or whack in terms of a snack that we review on Doughboys is like, oh, this is a food stuff. So you can very easily see the connection, whereas

snack, calling a person a snack, if they're attractive, or calling them whack if they're unattractive, it seems... You think it only works with chicks? Well, here's where I was going to drive to. So here's what I'm getting. I'm hearing something on two fronts. I'm hearing that when we use a sort of urban patois and refer

to someone as looking like a snack, Nick is saying that's not English. If you are going to live in in this country you have to speak the king's english from the dictionary and if you're going to describe someone as looking like a snack yeah it has to be a chick okay i think i just that's interesting i just want to clarify i think i think it's going to my bigger issue is that it seems mean-spirited to judge someone on their appearance alone and then to make them – like to order them to contort their body in a specific way. Like I feel like what you did to Sam was a little demeaning. He was a good sport about it. You think looking like a chick, like having him look a little more like a sexy snack is demeaning because it makes him look more feminine? I think men should only have to conform to traditional gender roles and just have their,

and have a chest look a certain way all the time. Yeah. Like how a man should look. That, uh. This is unfair. That's starting to seem bad to me, Nick. I don't think you want to be out in front of this opinion. So to summarize what Nick's saying.

I just feel like because Sam is in. Real men. In a position where you guys are going to have a higher status than him, he might feel compelled to do something that's uncomfortable. Oh, my God, because I don't even feel that way. I don't even think about it like that. I don't see it that way at all. Oh, my God.

In a workplace sense. He's a person. In a workplace sense. We're equals who both, you know, have a role to play in the podcast. Right. I do everything that's funny and cool, and he pushes the knobs around. Oh, man, Goldfinger is funny. I'm there, too.

Yeah. So, I heard a rumor that Goldfinger is... I'm there too. So, I heard a rumor that Goldfinger was assembled by the label. Like that wasn't a real band. That they were just like, oh, we gotta get on the ska thing. That was from the movie too. That dude who sings in there broke his fucking head. Did he really? The Goldfinger?

Oh, he like injured his noggin? Skateboarding? Yeah, he was trying to do... Yeah, he was doing it. In the game? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, he was trying to do the... Superman? He was doing the game. Guar seems out of place here.

Okay. So we have some other segment ideas that we brought in. Do you want to move on to those, or do you want to keep talking about his show? No, I think we should talk about our show more. Well, so one thing we were thinking could be cool is if we sing Hamilton. Just singing? And we love it too.

Just sing it? And we just think it's so good. Is there a take on it? Are you going to do parody lyrics or something? Yes, there is a take on it. It's like, did you see this show? It's so good. Yeah, our take on it is like, it really is awesome.

You're learning, and it's rap. Yeah. So you're just going to go just basically verbatim, say, Lin-Manuel Miranda's lyrics. And we talk about the different parts. Who's that? Okay. Of the show.

He's the guy who- No, it's Hamilton. We want to do Hamilton. We're doing Hamilton. Yeah, but I'm just saying that that's the artist behind Hamilton, the original lead and the man who wrote the music and the lyrics

ah well it's so we're but okay it seems like we're talking past each other a little bit but we wanna

just like so we'll come in we'll be like welcome to Hollywood and Hamilton all the bullshit but then we do fucking Hamilton

and we're singing it yeah uh huh and it's obviously not as good as when they do it. Yeah. But we are so enthusiastic about it.

And the guest likes Hamilton too. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And he likes when we do it. Right. I mean, I guess it seems like what you're discussing is maybe a niche Hamilton-focused podcast, which is fine. That's a fine thing to do. It's just a segment.

It's just a segment. Okay. But to me, that doesn't sound like a segment like we're just going to sing a hamilton and then talk about how good it is right to me that seems like you're that doesn't seem like a thing you can can we try could we maybe just try yeah before we're saying let's that it's good or bad could we maybe actually just try it and see if it works i'm in your guys house yes you guys did you think of that nick then maybe you want to see it before you decide so maybe you can start since you are the expert on this, and say, what's your favorite Hamilton?

You love it. Yeah. Okay. Well, I haven't seen Hamilton. I'm just full disclosure, being honest. And again, maybe just as another general note. Oh, shit. Just because you're so poor.

Well, look. I feel like some honesty, people respond to that. So if you're just forthright and say what your strengths and weaknesses are. And how did that happen? Let me tell you what people respond to. Hamilton. Okay. All you what people respond to. Hamilton. Okay, all right. Seeing flies, real.

I haven't seen Hamilton. How did that happen to you? Flight of flies. Just remembering which band the guy ruined his voice in. This is the kind of content. All right, well, look. Are we doing this Sunday? I mean, what am I thinking of?

I don't know. You know, I worked on the Fantastic Four video game, and Taking Back Sunday had an original song on the soundtrack. Okay, so this is what we should be talking about. Not Hamilton. Let's talk about the Fantastic Four video game. That's what people want to hear. Oh, yeah, no, that'll be great.

Let's be honest about that. I scripted it for it to come in in the hospital level when you play as Ben Grimm, the thing. There's a moment where you wake up in the hospital bed and you're the thing. And then as that happens, Taken Back Sunday kicks in and you start fucking up robots. Do you have that Ben Grimm becomes a thing through elective surgery? Well, no. It wasn't exactly that. It was that he was in space.

It was derived from the first Fox movie. Oh, sure. That one is canon. Yeah, the one with Chris Evans as the Human Torch, way back in the day. And so, the way... And Michael Chiklis played the thing, and the way that it worked is that they were all up on a space station

where they got exposed to gamma radiation. He's not Chiklis at all. He's pulling them down. Oh, he's not chickless. Yeah. Yeah, he's chick-full. Yeah, don't let the last name fool you. No, he got plenty of chicks, man. And even, that was a tangent.

He looked good. He got sort of the Ricky Gervais thing where he wears a tight black t-shirt. He looked like a snack. And he looked like a snack. He's sort of like barrel chested, you know? And you go like, is that guy fat? He's got it. When he's pushing them together, yeah, he's got a lot to work with.

He's just a man. He just looks like a man. He's a fucking bowling ball. Just projects masculinity. Yeah. Right. I mean, that's part of what we love about Gervais too, is that he's funny, but he's also like, he's just so masculine.

He's borderline in good shape. Yeah. Yeah. No, seriously. He is. The way he dresses really lets you know. He has fat in the shape of muzzles. Mm-hmm.

No. He's taking his shirt off, too. He packs it in. You can find some photo shoots with him without a shirt. Mm-hmm. You can see his full torso. I've seen one. He's got himself, he's got a microphone stand.

He's holding like a crucifix. Think about that for a second. But meanwhile, on his, so he's in a Christ pose. He's got his legs crossed. He's holding a microphone stand but scrawled on his chest in red, kind of like a blood-like color, is the word atheist. Oh, wow. Because people are trying to kill him

for telling the truth. Right. Just like they did with Jesus, he's implying, but that didn't happen. No. He says. Yeah. Yeah, that's actually got a lot of layers to it, and the AV Club might describe it as really friggin' smart.

Should we do one Hamilton? Let's do one quick Hamilton. Sure. Just get it out of the way, even though Nick kind of ruined it. Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for taking us on that tangent. And I found a website, actually, with this type of fly that I've seen, so you guys can even see it.

Okay. It's like a subscription site, though. You've got to pay. Wait, then how do you know it's that type of fly on it? Is it like a preview image or something? Did you notice the preview image? I think they probably showed a really short preview image, and then they said, that's how they get you.

And then the subscribe window opens up over it. They just hook you in and then they say, oh, not anymore. Yeah, I guess I'm done with my free articles for this month. Can you browse it on incognito mode? Do you want one of us to look it up on our phones? I don't have anything to hide.

So that is all settled. So let's do a quick Hamilton. And then, Hayes, what are you going to do? I'm going to do one Hamilton, and you can do one. Okay, you do one Hamilton. Or we can split one. Can you at least start one? Yes, sure.

Because I'm not sure about much of it. Okay. Is there like a sound component to doing it? I remember hearing about this. Yeah. Wait, so have you seen Hamilton? Yeah. Okay.

As I said, I remember that there is a sound part. Okay. So I am talking, yes, I have seen it. Obviously, I do know something about it. So maybe we play like a sound for me to do a Hamilton on. Yeah, that's good. Right? Yeah, let's have Hayes do a Hamilton on a sound,

and then we just close the window with the Warped Tour bands. Okay, let's do this. And Hayes, I've decided that I want to cut the moment where I make a mistake about the singer. Because that would affect how people think about you. Yeah. I was actually thinking that as it was happening. And then I sort of have referenced it again a couple of times,

and I wonder if we could get rid of all of that. Yeah, because you're worried that you have sort of established yourself as someone who would know who messed up their voice, like the lead singer of which band. Which I do remember hearing which the lead singer of which band hearing that what that the lead singer of a band a band hurt their voice in the same a band that would be on the warp tour with save ferris okay can i can i just can i pipe in here yeah um my suggestion is that view that mistake as a gift yeah newfound glory? This is what these guys would do,

is be like, if you know what bandit is, do a fucking hashtag or whatever, and we make like two bucks every time you do it. We don't monetize it that directly. And there's an ad in the hashtag somehow. Yeah, you owe them money for having the hashtag. Yeah. Well, I would say...

That's smart. Beyond that, I feel like you've had some discussion about it throughout the podcast would say that's smart beyond that it just i feel like you there's some you you've had some discussion about it throughout the podcast and that's been something so if you know who it is join the heart the hashtag hardy's hurt your voice challenge or fucking whatever and we're all rich now to protect my ego a little bit can we say that i do know the answer though and that i've gotten it wrong just to sort of have the audience on a fun sort of adventure. Down one of these

Wikipedia rabbit holes. You ever just start clicking random on Wikipedia? Is that a segment? Right. And you wake up and it's like three minutes later and it's just like gone. And I'm like, oh, that's who invented shoelaces. You know, it's just like, but I was really trying to look up, like, who made Velcro.

Right. You're like, oh, what year did Count Chocula come out? And then sooner or later, you're reading about the Punic Wars. What year? I think it was probably the 60s. I don't know. See, and this is how he does it. He's like, now Count Chocula.

Yeah. Checks already spent, I assume. Hashtag let's talk chalk or whatever. Hashtag let's talk chalk challenge. Yeah. Can we just play the Hamilton, please? Countdown to count, and then it's like the years. This is Hamilton.

This is Hamilton. Hamilton. Hamilton. Hamilton. Hamilton. Hamilton. This is Hamilton. This is Hamilton. Hamilton. Hamilton. Hamilton. Hamilton. This is Hamilton. This is Hamilton.

Hey, put down that gun. Don't shoot me. And then, yeah. Stop it. Who's that? I don't like that. That's annoying. That was annoying. I mean, look, I don't.

So this is a segment. This is called the Hamilton segment? Yeah. You just call it Hamilton? Or just Hamilton. That annoyed the shit out of me. Is it too late to make our brand that we like Hamilton? Has anyone else tried to do that?

I mean, I think people, I've seen that attempted. I've seen people be like big Hamilton advocates. What happens first? Do you know the guy first? Do you know Hamilton first? Or do you like it first and then he knows you? Does the guy find out you like it somehow? I think that's probably what it is.

Like he sees his fans and engages with them. Okay, it's one or the other. If you're talking about Lin-Manuel Miranda, again, Hamilton references Alexander Hamilton, the historical figure. Okay. There isn't like a modern guy Hamilton. Good to know.

But I just want to say, again, are you guys looking for notes on the segments or do you just want to do them and have me? Did you like that one? What do you think about my voice? I mean, look, I liked it. Because I'm thinking it's, as you said, olden times. So I kind of did like a cool old guy voice. I noticed that.

I did where it kind of dragged. Yeah, that's true. Do you want to tighten it up? I think it should be like a third as long as it was. I think, yeah, maybe it could be shorter or maybe just rethink whether or not you want to do a segment specific to Hamilton, which is, and again, I'm not trying to accuse. And on Sam's end, maybe say he could cut out some of that annoying sound he was playing earlier. Yeah, again, I think, and I haven't seen it, but I believe Sam was actually playing some of the musical Hamilton.

You were playing some of the original cast recording. Okay, so that was Hamilton. And meanwhile, what you guys were doing, it sounded like Hayes was singing from the soundtrack to Nightmare Before Christmas. This is Halloween, but replacing Halloween with this is Hamilton. That was what they were listening to. Yeah, that is. So if you don't like that, you probably don't like Hamilton. Do we know him?

Do we know him now? Is it possible that now we are friends with him? Well, that's what I'm worried about. Is he going to hear me wondering if I even liked it? Because usually when I come into this stuff on social media, all the people who like it are already friends with him yes that is what's confusing he's being like thanks so now i wonder if we have crossed that bridge and now we are friends with him yeah they're going like hey i'm here to see it can i get in or something but like he's and here's me and him

afterwards yeah is there a picture of me with him after the show? That's interesting. Does that exist now? I mean, if you haven't taken it, I don't think it magically appeared. I don't remember taking it, but how is it possible that all these other people did?

Yeah. And not me? Or like, some of these people are looking at it like, this guy? And not me?

That seems impossible. So, I have another segment idea. Okay. That we might want to sort of sort through right and this is it's basically and i don't know exactly but you know how i talked about going down these wikipedia rabbit holes before oh yeah do you remember what if you what if you what if you go down and you read the wikipedia of like some of the most twisted, fucked up shit that's ever happened, like freaking Marilyn Manson or freaking one of the freaking bad guys. And then you sort of half remember what you read in Wikipedia

and you talk about it with your friend. You're like, that's right. We don't read it during. No, no, no. We have read the article a long time ago. No, we read it the day before. For some freaky stuff like Cousin It. During. No, no, no. We have read the article a long time ago. No, we read it the day before. Yeah. For some freaky stuff like Cousin It.

It sounds like you're talking about some sort of true crime thing. You're akin to a true crime thing, but what you've referenced, Marilyn Manson and Cousin It. Marilyn Manson is a musician. Cousin It is a member of the Addams Family. So, I mean, I guess you could talk about just things that are like horror and pop culture. Or maybe that's a thing you could discuss. The freaking Beast. The Beast from Beauty and the Beast?

Huh? Do you mean the Beast from Beauty and the Beast? Is that what you're referencing? Kelsey Grammer. Kelsey Grammer, his role in X-Men 3, where he played the Beast. The freaking Beast. And I'm reading that, and then I'm going like, hey, do you even remember that he had to spend two and a half hours in makeup every morning and that was before they applied the fur and he's going like oh shit imagine that happening

that's so sick and like saying what he would do if that was happening and we're kind of going like holy shit and like talking about like some of the darkest most fucked fucked up stuff. But we're having fun. But some of it's kind of fucking twisted, man. And these guys all did very horrible, gruesome things. So this is where we could actually help, because you seem to think that these are all normal, non-scary people when really they have done some ghastly stuff. I mean, what comes to mind is something that Kelsey Grammer's beast did that is ghastly stuff. I mean, what comes to mind is something that Kelsey Grammer's beast that is ghastly.

I mean, that's probably... That's not even the best example, though. So let's skip that one. You'd have to do some Wikipedia research to find it. I mean, he's definitely... He's slashing guards. Okay. Dude.

Freaking... Think about if we're talking, it's me and Hayes, but we're talking about like Grandpa Munster. And again, I feel like what you're referencing are characters from pop culture and also from things that aren't necessarily even

horror, like the Munsters. Okay, okay, okay. So you're walking down the street, minding your own business. Yeah. Grandpa Munster rolls up on you. Right. And here's Nick Weiger.

Here's Nick Weiger. Oh, hey, this is all like, I'm totally cool with this. I'm not scared. This is just like a normal night for me, and I'm having fun. Yeah, and I'm happy about it, and I'm glad I saw him. And Merrill Manson's trying to suck his own dick behind me. There's no poop in my pants. And Merrill Manson wants to suck his own dick.

Right behind you. Right behind me, and he got ribs removed for it, and he's Paul Pfeiffer from fucking Wonder Years. Think about that, Nick. Right. I mean, again, if what you're talking about

is talking about things that are real, your idea for a segment is we're going to discuss things that are twisted. I hope it's coming from a place that it's because you don't know, and maybe this could be the value of the podcast, that people are actually learning about the scaryness of Grandpa Monster. Well, and that's part of what I think would make it so popular, is a lot of people don't even remember. Grandpa Monster not only wanted to kill, but he was horny about it as well.

Okay, can I just pitch maybe a topic you guys could discuss? If you're going to go in this direction, how about someone like the Zodiac Killer? He gets punched by Beast or something? No, the Zodiac Killer wouldn't be...

I mean, that's an interesting thought experiment. He wouldn't be a beast to punch the Zodiac Killer wouldn't be. I mean, that's an interesting thought experiment. It wouldn't be a beast to punch the Zodiac Killer. Could he defeat beasts? No, I'm suggesting that because the Zodiac Killer was an actual... And which one of them is like a snack? How is this related to even Doughboys? Well, again, we're talking about your guys' podcast.

We're not talking about Doughboys. So I feel like we're pretty far afield from what the original mission statement was here. Okay, now he's like, okay, can we bring it back to my show, please, Doughboys? But we're not here to do that. Yeah. Well, in any event, I feel like if you guys are going, it's a different thing. Can we plug the Patreon? No.

It's a different thing. As far as the segment pitch, we can try it. But as far as this pitch is concerned i just feel like you need to either this is going to be about like maybe campy horror stuff in pop culture we're going to talk about like movie monsters or we're going to talk about true crime because they're kind of different umbrellas and i feel like the appeal of what you were originally pitching it sounds like some of the true crime podcasts that are very successful, that have a very strong and loyal following. So I would just –

Are you crying? No, I'm not – well, I'm not crying. Oh, my God. I'm not crying. He's like crying about it. Guys, I'm not crying. He like started crying about it. Sam, did you see – Sam, do you agree that he was crying?

Did you guys see him cry? Yes, he was crying. Yes. Oh, my God. Yes. Sam, did you see? Sam, do you agree that he was crying? Did you guys see him cry? Yes. He was crying. Oh, my God. Yes. Why is he crying? This is truly unfair. Shut up.

Shut up. Why is he crying? That's, like, so crazy. She's talking about how, like, another show is successful. Yeah, he's like, they're really successful. They have really loyal followers. And he started fucking crying. Oh, my God.

Shut the fuck up. Hey. Hi, Chef Kevin. It's Chef Kevin. Chef Kevin, did you hear outside when Nick was crying? Did you hear him start crying about other podcasts? Yeah. Sit down, Chef Kevin.

Yeah, Chef Kevin, we had an idea for a segment. Can we do a segment with him? Yeah, sure. Can we use him? I just want to, I wasn't crying there. He's coming in. You're making it worse. He's still crying.

Just want to say I wasn't crying. Yeah, and he's trying to clean it up. He wasn't crying, but he is now, I guess. Yeah. Like he started because, I don't know. So, Chef Kevin, we wanted to do like a little segment where we talk about who at Earwolf has had plastic surgery, and then we do before and after pics up on the website. And this segment was kind of inspired by Nick a little bit, that he was just talking about how you seem like really fake.

Got it. All right, I think you're putting words in my mouth. I didn't say anything. He said that you seem like a phony and like a faker, yeah. Again, I feel like if you listen to the episode, at no point did I say that about Kevin. I mean, honestly, firstly, this is the first time you've come up since you entered the room.

Are we doing that segment now? When you listen to the episode, Kevin, rest assured we will not include that part when he said that. Okay. Are you ready for a cabinet? Okay, so I guess this is part of the sound. This is scary. We could do this for our murder.

We could talk about this. Does this not need Hamilton? No, take that out. We're going to for our murder. We could talk about this. Does this not need Hamilton? Oh, is that? No, take that out. Oh, yeah. We're going to get in trouble. Maybe not. I guess we're friends with him. So wait, you guys found that scary?

You were scared by that? Just the way he was saying it was so like he was trying to hurt me. I honestly was looking over my shoulder like, is Grandpa Munster going to jump out here? I would say if you guys are legitimately spooked by the Hamilton soundtrack and the thought of Cousin It from the Addams Family, I would avoid true crime

as a topic because if you actually look into this, it's very disturbing. The things that actual people have done to other human beings. I would just maybe steer clear of that. Or to themselves in the case of Marilyn Manson. Right. Or Kevin, as far as you're concerned. Yeah. Like what he's done to himself is he made himself fake.

That he sort of looks to you like some kind of creature now and not even like a man. Boo. And he's leaning into it. That's good, Chef Kevin, to have a sense of humor about how disfigured you've become through your addiction to plastic surgery. We have to learn to laugh. So what else have some other people done? What are some other procedures that people at Earwolf have done? And we're obviously thinking about Josh here and about some of the hosts as well. Yes.

I would say Colin definitely got plastic surgery, but he wasn't originally British. Yeah, he got that put on. Just to stand out. Josh got the why so serious smile. It seemed a little more friendly, but it backfired. And then Mike still got his lower back enhanced. Is that right? It's definitely stronger.

Yeah. Is that like a cosmetic thing? He's got a lot of burst. Wait, so is that like a cosmetic thing, or is that more just for physiological reasons? I think he put hydraulics in. And I think he's one of those guys that got in an accident on purpose to be like, oh, now I need a new lower back. Oh, I guess I'll get a really good one that's hot now.

And it's like, is that really how that happened? Turning me on when I'm trying to do the show. So that's some of the ones. But we want to sort of expose. It's like raising and lowering him. And then what we could do, I think, inspired by you a little bit, Nick, is find some kind of hashtag

and then we tweet before and after pictures of like Mike Stills' lower back. You know? Paul Hard or whatever his name is. I just want to take a step back for a second. What is this?

So what is this segment? The segment is called Snack or Whack. What's Snack or Whack, bitch? So this is also called Snack or Whack. I just, I bitch so this is also called Snack or Whack I just we decide

after you said that's the most popular segment plastic surgery procedures this is your thing it's inspired by you and what you do with chips or whatever

I just feel like when you've got a like a segment like Snack or Whack the value of having it be specific to one thing and for your guys case

it feels like you landed on you know again again, this is something where we're going to be very personal about someone's physical appearance, which a lot of people are sensitive about. I feel like your audience could see as mean-spirited. It feels like you don't think anyone at Earwolf is looking

like a snack, and you think they're all whack. Because you just keep saying that it's mean when, like, it might actually be really nice. I guess if you're always saying people are snacks, then maybe it's okay when they hold their body back. No, the segment is snack or whack. Are they looking like a snack, or do they make me want to go whack off something?

Yeah, that's right. Wait, so it's always, regardless of what it is, it's something that you find them attractive? I'm turned on. It's just a matter of, like, am I so turned on that I got to go and frigging gobble them up right now? Is it an emergency? Or am I turned on that I got to go and frigging gobble them up right now?

Or am I turned on that I have to leave and whack off by myself? It's just a question of am I engaging with them or is it something private for me? So it seems like to me. And I could whack off in front of them too. And can I say you have that relationship with food at this point that you look at like a bag of Tostitos or something, and you're like, okay, now I have to whack off? Yeah, come on, man. That's sick, man.

Speaking of which, we were going to do a segment where we just graphically describe sexual encounters. Like real ones? Yeah. Maybe not that we're involved in, but just like you'd watch. That we've either taped or we've heard about. And it's called Snack or Whack. Not that we're involved in, but just like that we've either taped or we've heard about. And it's called Snack or Whack. I mean, again, I feel like one issue is that you're just going to confuse the audience by having a bunch of segments named the same thing, which is also the same as the segment name on a different podcast.

Nobody listens to that anymore. Well, okay, aside from that, I feel like just graphically describing sexual acts, I mean, there's an audience for that. I'm not sure if it's the same as your audience. You know, for instance, like on our podcast, we're talking about fast food, so we know if we're also going to talk about, like, say, chips or cookies, we know it's the same audience. You still do the main podcast, right, where you're ad-supported, and then you have people doing a Patreon? Right. How does that feel to you? What is enough? right what does that feel to you what is enough like the people are paying money for this like think about your show and like they're paying for it and what that means like that they're like

willing to pay for it right you're like making them do it like what's their life if they're paying for it and then you're asking them to actually do it and they're doing it like jesus christ man and when do we like stop when do we, like, stop? When do we decide, okay, now I'm finally satisfied? I have enough, you know? Snack. This is a snack, right? You're saying this is a snack? Kevin's holding a toothbrush.

Sorry, I'm disoriented. So you guys were talking about the economic model of our podcast Which is, yes, that's a fair point It's fair to bring that up That say that there are a small segment of our A small percentage of our dedicated fans Who are spending money out of pocket To subscribe

The thing is, they are getting a bonus episode every week So you can talk about that And also the overwhelming majority Of our audience I'm not crying The overwhelming majority of our audience. I'm not crying. He's crying. The overwhelming majority of our audience is unpaid. So for them, that helps pay for the bandwidth,

the fact that we're running ads on our much larger listener account. So that's the economic model of Doughboy. And it's probably very different than what Earwolf does, but we know that even Earwolf has their Stitcher Premium, which is its own thing, which is its own paid model for your back alley. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. Again, I'm not crying.

You're making Kevin cry now. It's a pretty story. Thank you, Kevin. You're welcome. So we're talking about, so here's what, okay, let's go back to your segment. If we're talking about who got plastic surgery at Earwolf, I feel like maybe

a small segment. And whether they're a snack or whether we want to whack off. Right. There might be a small segment of your dedicated fan base that is aware of the personnel who work at Earwolf. Yeah. But I would say there's probably maybe a larger segment who doesn't necessarily know.

Why do you want to silence the people at Feral Audio? Because you never talk about those guys. I feel like we do. I feel like we talk about some of our staff at Feral Audio from time to time. There's Dustin. There's Dustin, yeah. There's Yusong Liu, who works for Feral now.

Does he ever get to go in studio on mic? Yeah, we've had him on the podcast twice. We've heard from YouSong a little bit. YouSong's a good dude. You know what could be cool to make him kind of seem like a snack is you put Dustin in like a French maid uniform and he's Dustin the studio. And then all of a sudden I'm like, okay, that's such a snack.

I got to whack off right now. That could make Snacker work for sure. Bye. Bye. Ear Wolf. I'm a horny girl wolf. This has been an Ear Wolf production. Executive produced by Scott Aukerman, Colin Anderson, and Chris Bannon.

For more information and content, visit Earwolf.com. Ow. That was a HeadGum Podcast.