Hollywood Handbook - Paul F. Tompkins and Matt Gourley, Our Superego Friends

Episode Date: January 14, 2020

The Boys welcome back PAUL F. TOMPKINS and MATT GOURLEY to do a Superego. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast um give me the theme song yes so it's me and zumbo zumbo from zumbo's Just Desserts. Precisely. And we're running out of time to wrap the Thanksgiving turkeys. Yes. And we've got the wrapping paper out and we're wrapping them all up because... Because they're not going to get to all your relatives in time. Well, exactly right. Exactly right. And we're getting nervous and this woman keeps running at it saying, you're almost out of time. You're almost out of time. Well, exactly right. Exactly right. And we're getting nervous and this woman keeps running

and saying, you're almost out of time. You're almost out of time. And it's, I think it's meant to be helpful. As a woman at the post office. Yes. It's creating more stress for me. So I get, like, you know,

so what I do is I wait in the line with the unwrapped turkeys and then get to the front, realize I have forgotten to wrap them. You must wrap to show. I have to sit down on the floor and wrap all these turkeys. Nobody steps forward to help. All these people complaining about how long I'm taking. It's like, well, go a lot faster if you would just come up and help me wrap these 225 turkeys

that I have in my little red wagon. I mean, geez-a-loo. Like, where were you raised? In Zumbo's Australian village? He's there, you said? Zumbo is with me. He's doing that thing where he's like, wants to pretend he's there you said Zumbo is with me he's doing that thing where he's like wants to pretend

he's helping but if you look he's never achieved a task like he'll kind of roll out the paper and go does this look right and I go yeah that could be good and he'll go it might not be right yet and like start over or he'll like take off a piece

of tape and just kind of like stick it to the bottom of his shoe. And I'll go, okay, is that like for later? And, and he'll just be like, yeah,

yeah. Hang on, mate. Can I tell you what's fast? What's been faster for me? A solution that I've found. I'd love this rather Rather than. Life hack. Life hack alert.

So, you know, you try to mail the turkeys the regular way they do. It's like, first of all, you can't send it media mail if you write on it. But they like weigh them and it's like, this is heavy, like pay all this money. Oh, gosh. money. But if you carve it ahead of time and put it in an envelope and say, this is a letter to my sweetie, then they have to help you be romantic. There's a romantic clause at the post

office. Obviously, look, US Post Service is hitting a rough time. UPS, FedEx, Amazon, they're getting their lunch. They've had to get creative. And if you're being romantic, they will help you and they will hold your hand through the entire process. Which I think is a great policy. My issue with that is I'm not allowed to carve it because I do not have anything sharp in my house.

Hey, welcome to Hollywood handbook. Handbook. Handbook. Oh, wagwan. The insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet linebacker hallways of this industry we call showbiz. Today, we are doing something that I imagine some people will be excited about. They might like it. Not to my taste, but I'm not the audience for this show, and I haven't been for quite some time.

Here to learn. As always, I do this show to learn, to educate myself about why people enjoy certain other stuff that isn't this show. Stuff. So how do we want to get into this? What is your deal? Like, what are you guys, why are you here, and why should I care? Do you want to go?

I'd rather not. We are, can we, do you introduce us or should we introduce ourselves? You've both done the show so many times. I know, but it feels like things seem different now. This seems different. It's a cloudier. It's a cloud. It is a cloud. It's a cloudier.

It's a cloudier. This is a cloudier show than I remember. It's a TJ cloudier. Maybe it would help to connect the dots for people by going back through the different episodes you've done. Matt? Hold on a second. I need to know what TJ Cloudier means. I can't go forward.

You do? You need to know that? I need to know that. Okay. Yeah. Can I just say before we do that that I'm somewhere between TJ Hooker and TJ Maxx looking for that reference. I don't know if I'm anywhere near. Matt laughed. Matt was chuckling to himself. That's what I went right to TJ Maxx, then to TJ Hooker, and both worked

for me. Okay. TJ Hooker was, has been canceled. What? Not just as a TV show, but in the cancel culture sense. But TJ Maxx, he's cool, right? TJ Maxx is very cool. TJ Maxx is very cool.

Exactly. That's why. That's why. Thomas James TJ Cloudier. What? Or. Cloudier. What? Or Cloutier. Born October 13th, 1939, is a professional poker player from Richardson, Texas. He was inducted into the Poker Hall of Fame in 2006.

This is a Hall of Famer we're talking about. Yeah, I know. Six World Series of Poker bracelets. Guess how many money finishes he has in the World Series of Poker. All of them. Guess. It's a number. It's not all of them. Yes. It's a number. It's not all of them.

How many possible? $69. Oh! I can't make this stuff up. Cancel. Go to his Wikipedia page. Go to his Wikipedia page. I know who TJ Cloutier is, of course.

Not me. TJ Cloutier. Matt Gourley, you did the show, basically didn't shut up the entire time. It was fucking Toyota stuff. And then the cars, the cars liked me.

And then, and then, and it was Volkswagen. And then they were like, you're so good with the cars. They were. The car wrangler said that to you? Yeah.

That's high praise. The conventions were a buzz. And Paul F. Tompkins. Thank you. We've been trying to find sort of the right way to work you into this show. Yes. You have been on in the past. We tried to help you perform this character, Brandon Content.

That's right. And thank you for your help. I appreciate that. I wish I could say. You've been opening grocery stores, I understand. Yeah, as Brandon Content. Here's what I'll say. You said it was a grocery store I understand. Yeah, as branded content. Here's what I'll say. You said it was a grocery store, and you're like, come to this grocery store opening.

A toilet is a toilet store. It's not like, a toilet is not like groceries. You don't see the connection? I don't really. You don't see the connection. I see the connection. You consume the groceries. Thank you.

I see the connection. Thank you. I know that groceries ultimately end up in the toilet one way or another. Yes. Toilet stores and grocery stores are not just connected to each other in that way. They're connected to so many other types of stores because those are the two inevitable things. Groceries at the toilet. Groceries in the toilet.

Death taxes in the toilet store. And groceries. And groceries as well. Death taxes in the toilet store and groceries Death taxes in the toilet store and groceries There's a reason Cliche for a reason right And that was a very successful Toilet store opening

It's still open From what I understand Perez Hilton published several pictures from it And did not draw dicks on any. Hey, motherfuckers. I once won a toilet flushing sound effect contest. This is true. Yeah.

Uh-huh. Oh, wait. Did you do this on the show last time? No, and I've never done it since because I get $1,500 for that every time. Every time you do a toilet flushing sound? Well, the one time I won it. Oh. And I've never done it since.

And so, I guess you want me to ask more about it. Isn't it funny that for most of us, flushing the toilet costs money. You don't get paid. You actually are losing money when you flush the toilet. And then so often the water and the coin gets jammed

at the slot. By the way, these pay toilets are a rip-off. You have to pay to use them. Then you have to pay to flush? Now, if I'm a decent person, of course I'm going to flush. I know, but everyone before you is obviously like... You're not paying for that water

that you've... Is this a public toilet? Yeah. But you don't pay for that water It's itemized on my taxes It says public toilet water That's the new tax mat That's why I'm Yang Gang That's why I'm Yang Gang I'm going to put that thousand dollars

Towards paid toilet flushes Imagine how many times I could flush the toilet. Oh my god, I'd be I'd never use the toilet in my house again. 50 times. Me and Childish Gambino would be blowing up the freaking toilet, man. We'd be blasting the bathroom into outer space. Who gives a fuck? Free money,

man. Free toilet money. I found it. Yeah. I found it, man. Found magazine. Now, you know, I also was a car pitchman that's right with the back in the day with sorry the ford i did i did two ford products the ford focus and the ford fusion and the ford focus i was the voice of an orange puppet named doug i remember you remember that i believe the videos are still up on youtube puppet named Doug. Remember? You remember? I believe the videos are still up on YouTube.

It was a very successful campaign with my immediate circle. And he didn't want to do, no, you shut up? No, he refused. Doug? Because I remember watching it being like, okay, but it seems kind of weird that Doug is on there. We wanted to make it happen. I wanted to make it happen so bad.

I was like, people are going to go nuts if Doug shows up. It's kind of weird that Doug is in the room. We wanted to make it happen. I wanted to make it happen so bad. I was like, people are going to go nuts if Doug shows up. Well, I imagine that was part of the promise of the original pitch. Or at least they're assuming. And they're like, okay, so then he'll get Doug to come in. Does Doug bear a grudge? I think that he hasn't worked since then. You haven't seen him on anything since then.

And I think he got out of the business. I think he pulled a Rick Moranis, and he was like, I'm just done. He's writing New Yorker pieces. Yep. And country music albums. He's writing New Yorker pieces that he turns into country music albums. He wants to do the Jesse Eisenberg thing of basically transitioning from a performer into a mcsweeney's yes like superstar yes because because when you have when you are when you're in the when you're in the public eye as yourself it's like people are taking pictures of you it's like nazi germany it is exactly like

that well in the way that they're just recycling all this content is absolutely disgusting to me. What do you mean? Well, I mean, I'm stepping on my own McSweeney's piece, but... Do you want me to ask you about it? Cliches are cliches for a reason. No, it's true. Basically, there's no new ideas. And what they've decided to do

instead of have new ideas, old ideas. Say one, for example. Try to have an idea. We hit peak idea five years ago. Five years ago was peak idea. Now we're on the downslide.

I'll try to think of a new idea. Mix weenies. Isn't that what they do? They mix weenies. Is this not a new idea, though? That seems like a new idea. It's the same old weenies.

Okay. I might have cracked this thing wide open. Mix weenies. Mix weenies. And isn't that what they do there? That office is essentially a mixer for weenies. Mix weenies. They just blend up.

They take all the old... Not the verb. No, no, no. The man. Mix. Mix. That's something else. Mix weenies. Mick. Mix. That's something else. Mix.

Weenies. Weenies. Mix. This is like several ideas now. This is a couple new ideas. Because there's mix weenies to mix weenies. Yeah. Of course.

Then there's mix possessive. Yeah. Mix weenies. This is Mick Fleetwood or who are we talking? Who's Mick? Ronson. Ah. Mick Ronson. Mick Ronson.

Or Mick Romney. Mick Romney. Mick Romney. Man, that guy had it. That's what a kind of acceptably racist guy called him. Oh yeah, I'm going to vote for old Mick Romney. And him. Oh, yeah, I'm going to vote for old Mick Romney. And you're like, oh, I guess that's, I guess whatever.

This thing, you know, super ego, help me with this. What's going on? It's, look. I feel like I'm having some kind of episode. What's going on? It's look. I feel like I'm having some kind of episode. What do you mean? How? I put the thing on and I'm like I feel like I'm going

crazy. What do you mean? What do you mean? What is it? Is it you guys? Have you listened to it? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I listened to it and it's like You Yeah, I listened to it, and it's like... You tell us what you think it is, and then we'll tell you if you're right. Here's what's going on.

We're MTV generation, first of all. Yeah. Just accept that. This is going to be fast. Matt Pinfield. It's Liquid Television. Yeah. Downtown Julie Brown.

Wubba wubba. This is Liquid Television, is what you're telling me in my ears. I'm pouring Liquid Television in my ears. God damn. Do you know... It's Liquid Podcast Vision, because this is sort in my ears. I'm pouring liquid television in my ears. God damn. Do you know- It's liquid podcast vision. Because this is sort of what it feels like where it's like-

It's like freaking Aeon Flux. Yes. Thank you. It's Aeon Flux. Finally someone gets it. That's what you wanted it to be. That's what it is. That's not what we wanted it to be.

What we wanted it to be. That's what it is. It's Aeon Flux hosted, presented to you by Alex Winter. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And I'm feeling, I'm getting a bit of whiplash.

The spirit of Ken Ober hovers over all of it. And it's like, here's, it's like two, it's like, doctor, something's going on. And then the person's head will explode. And then they go like, here's the new Sue Grafton book. And I go like, what the fuck? Yes. Thank you. It's happening.

That's right. S is for superego. Yes. And I'm going like What? It's a show I feel sick Are you familiar with The Kenny Everett video show?

No Neither am I Okay Well this is going to be A tough one to get through Because I'm young Like everyone here So I don't know what that is

Maybe it's just not for you guys. You know? Like maybe it's... Back when they had called all shows video shows. All shows. No, no, no. This is like a different... This is a video show.

Milton Berle video show. Texaco presents the Danny Thomas video show. It's sort of like Matt Bester's illegal and fucked up videos. Isn't it? Are you talking about Dr. Cocky motherfucker? Dr. Agro Cocky And let me tell you If you voluntarily enter Dr. Agro Cocky's green room He can't be held responsible for what psychological effects

The videos have on you. And it might be maybe a horse and his whole dick. Yeah. It could be anything. There might be one time an actual just straight up bestiality video. Yeah. Where a lady is pleasured by a dog. And then you think about it forever for the rest of your life.

Like you didn't know that that was going to happen. And then it happened and you, maybe you're sitting on the stage and that happens because someone from the audience brought their own video and they didn't say, Hey, this is a straight up bestiality video. Yeah. And you watch that.

Yeah. And maybe that was over 10 years ago. And sometimes you still remember it. Yeah, suddenly. Out of nowhere. In a moment with your loved ones. If you see that same type of dog. Thanksgiving dinner. Holding your son.

And what's this coming through? Ah, yes. I only have to know what's going on. But I'm having a good time. Sorry we ignored Matt Gorley for too long. What is it, Matt? Let's check in with Matt.

What's going on? What kind of mileage are we looking at on the fucking Atlas? What's an Atlas? That's after my time. Atlas is the big boy. Oh, see? He holds up the Earth.

That's the Volkswagen. That's the other one's dad. Well, sounds like you guys would make some good. Atlas is the T-Guan's dad. When are they bringing back the thing? That's what I want to know. The Kubelwagen. The Kubelwagen?

That's what it's really called. What does that mean? Thing? Something car. Thing car? Maybe. Kubel. Kubelwagen. The Kubelwagen. That's what it's really called. What does that mean? Thing? Something car. Kubel. Thing car? Maybe. Kubel.

Kubel. Kubel. Kubel. Kubel. Kubel Khan. Kubel Khan and Xanadu did Kubel Khan. The Hubelwagen. It's my contribution.

Full stop. The show. So there's all these sounds constantly. It's like Radiolab sort of. You know how Radiolab is always like. But Radiolab, I'm laughing. I'm losing my shit. And the cells started to multiply.

I'm losing my shit where they go and the cells started to multiply and I go oh now I'm really losing my shit laughing at this here's my beef

with Radiolab they got an old guy and a young guy that's just Dennis the Menace right what's they ripped it off

what's the difference what's the difference Robert is chasing Jad around yeah Jad is always causing mischief. Breaking windows. Good old Mr. Cronwich!

It's a rip-off. It's a rip-off. Well, this is what I said. There's no new ideas. And this is what Rick Ramirez and I are upset about. Yeah. We didn't want to do what they were doing. We didn't want to be Dennis the Menace.

We wanted to do our own thing. Yes. Yeah. So you're just the menace. The first few tries were Dennis the Menace, for sure. Well, you can't avoid it. You have to start there. You have to start.

Everything starts with Dennis the Menace. It's a genre. It's like, okay, how do we make it different? Joseph Campbell. Yeah. Dennis the Menace. Certain stories we tell again and again. Yeah.

Dennis the Menace. Yeah. Robert Krowich and Jad Ababra. Flood myth. Multiplying cells. Bestiality. These innate sort of cellular stories that exist in our DNA. They're the stories that unite us all.

And they're sometimes the stories that divide us. Now, that's heavy to think about. The thing that unites us also divides us. Yeah, Star Wars. Yeah, Star Wars. Yeah. Star Wars. Reylo.

Star Wars. Who does, who puts all, you put all the sound in? I do, yeah. After? So these guys. But I make the sounds. Okay. He puts the sounds in, but I make...

Every sound you hear, I make. He sends them to me. Yeah. Yeah. No way. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll just think of like, what's a sound you hear in life? Uh-huh. Like a door opening. You hear like a horse. Clip, clop, clip, clop, clip, clop. You hear...

Do a Tiguan. You hear a Tiguan. Vroom, vroom, vroom. Mm, yeah. Vroom, vroom, vroom. You hear... Son Tiguan You hear a Tiguan You hear Feet dragging on carpet Ice in a glass So I do this I set aside an hour every day to just make sounds And then I set another hour aside to upload the file to Matt.

They're high, like high bit rate sound recordings. I figured out a way to increase the bit rate. Hey, that's what we're trying to do on this show. Yeah. And you have to just cut them all out and like, hold on,

hold on. No, it's fun. Like then later they'll be like, then it's like a discovery for them. I know, I know, I know.

I heard it. I heard it. It's amazing. Are you kidding me? Like, do it's like a discovery for them. I know, I know, I know. I heard it. It's amazing. Are you kidding me? Do you know how hard it is for me to not fucking bust my ass open? I'm trying to stay on top of acknowledging everything that's said because a lot of times online people are like, nobody commented on that. I get it. They just blew by.

I think Paul didn't get it. Yeah, it deserved more. And I'm like, I have to. Now I feel like I want to service the fans. And I got to acknowledge everything. They like it. They like being like, um, excuse me, sir. They're like, what happened? What happened with this joke was criminal.

I made an observation. I had to just hear it and enjoy it myself. I had to like it. And I was, I was subjected to the indignity of feeling very smart at home and even smarter than some of the hosts because I was liking the joke. The fucking crime that was committed against me. Lock all the Earwolf hosts in jail. Just fucking listen to the fucking shit.

But then what would they say if they didn't have these little notices to do? What would they say like if they didn't have like these little notices to do like what would they say in the forums you know we would just post like or whoever would post the episode and then all the comments would be like okay i never and that's true i never thought of it that way right that's true that's a really good point hazen i'm sorry or or you know it said there would be a lot of comments of like hey hey, there are four streams playing at once when I tried to play this on Stitcher. Hey, there was an ad, then there wasn't, then there was one. That's Superego.

That's kind of what we go for there. Four streams at once? Yeah, four if you're lucky. Well, here's the thing with Superego. We like to keep the fans guessing. And so even though we've been putting out new episodes for a while now there there will still be people that will comment on an instagram photo when will you bring super ego back ah photo has nothing to do with super ego yeah and i when i see those comments i think to myself it's working it's working people don know. People are fans of this thing

and they are not aware of it. And they can't find it. And they can't listen to it. That is the dream. To have people absolutely love your shit and have zero access to or awareness of it. It's the best of both worlds because you get

the acclaim, but you also get nobody knows about this thing. It's a secret thing, private for just me. And then the live shows must do well because every show, in a way, is a reunion show. That's how we build them. We're finally getting back together. And we pride ourselves in fans that have no desire to research whether there's new stuff. Yes.

You know what I mean? Only to inquire inappropriately. That's our niche and our demographic. Well, we also like people that have some balls to them. You know what I mean? It's like, I'm going to go straight to the top and ask. You know? I'm going to ask someone who I might, as a fan of their thing, treat with even a modicum of reverence.

of their thing treat with even a modicum of reverence. And now instead, I will attack them in a comment of a photo of them doing a BoJack table read. Let's say. For example. For instance. And then I go, what the fuck's going on with Super Ego, you piece of shit? You just fucking stop? But that's the same thing for our

you know you say like they gotta have like big balls like yeah our fans they gotta be like yeah

dragging a sack oh yeah our fans show up at the fucking theater with a wheelbarrow in front of them baby yeah here's what I like

about your fans let's say I I tweet something and it contains a word that you guys mentioned on your show. I like that they will get in my mentions and say, oh, are you referencing Hollywood Handbook? Yep. And every time I'll say, yes, I am.

Of course I am. You have to. And we've staked our claim to a lot of words over the years. That's been part of our strategy is it's a land grab. Yeah. That's why I call you guys the Sooners Sean Hayes the Sooners the maximum possible half bits

that exist with like just a random word that occurs a little more often than you think and then that word is going to pop up in your tweet in your I don't know exactly what you're doing Matt takes And then that word is going to pop up in your tweet. In your, I don't know exactly what you're doing. But in other people.

Matt takes breaks. He takes social media breaks. I can't bring myself to do that. Currently on a long one, eh? No, you're back now. I'm back. I was off for a while. I felt good. Doesn't feel good again.

Feels bad. I got gotta run. Do you have any sounds? Devin is Mr. Sound Loving Man. Oh, really? Mr. Sound Loving Man. Well, this is interesting. Where are you getting your sounds?

Who's doing your sounds? Paul, obviously. Yeah, okay. I do Devin's sounds. Confession time. Yeah, I try to play it off like I don't, but of course I do Devon Sounds as well. Paul, what do you know about the publicly available headphones at Earwolf that I don't? Here's what I've sussed out.

They're publicly available. And so I decided, hey, if I'm here a lot and I'm putting something over an opening in my head, I'm going to make sure that I'm the only one that uses them. And yes. And as far as I know, I am. So, right. So you're bringing your own headphones. Then here I am putting on the same headphones that were on the head of.

Countless people. And just fill in the blank with whoever you want. I get it. Everyone else sitting at this table has at least one cat. In some cases, many more than one. Do you have one? Oh, yeah.

Oh, all right. Is there any policy of cleaning these headphones? We clean the headphones, yes. How often? The engineer on duty of the day tends to clean them at the end. But it's being cleaned by another cat guy. Right.

This is true. That's why you guys all have toxoplasmosis. Yeah, exactly. There have been points when the engineer on duty was Cody. So we're trusting his standard of cleanliness. But that's why you guys all tried to let a rat eat you. Yeah. Yes.

And I didn't. And the rat said no. I would prefer not to. Play some of these sounds. Bart will be the Scrivener. Yes, motherfucker. Well, I don't know. Come on.

There was a pregnant pause Play some of my sounds Yes, of course Where would you like to go? Alphabetical order Okay, good Oh Alright, so let's

Casino Okay That's me doing casino And the slot machine One-armed bandit So what do you do with this? You're like a southern guy probably who's like,

Honey, get over here. Bingo! Yes, right. I just hit the jack of pursuits. I found a two-armed bandit. Oh, that's my wife. Okay. He tried to,

yes, he tried to pull his wife's arms, I guess, like a sloppy sheet. But how come you paying coins out? Uh-oh. And then Gerald would be like, the money came out of my mouth. We're rich, and we always have been. I don't like to have so many sores. And then like Rob Delaney would be like, and I'm here. We know which episode you listen to.

This is great research. And I popped in. Every guest just announces their arrival. Yes. Yeah. But we're not lying in the episode description when we say that they're guests. Yeah. You know?

Yeah, we're not lying about anything. We never said they're going to do comedy with us. Some of them have to be cut together quite a bit. Sure. You can tell. Some of those guests, there's a little bit of clipping on each end of literally everything they say. Yeah. But I understand.

I can hear the effort to make them. Do some of the guest appearances come in the form of edited voicemails where they're saying they don't want to do the show? Yes. A lot of sketches are about that. Yes. Can you get that? You're like, this isn't funny.

They're going to want to be funny on the show. I can cut this. I can protect them. I'll just say a bunch more on both sides of what they did. Next sound. This would probably be a D. If that was casino. Dog convention. Dance hall.

Dining room. I feel like I'm in a cafeteria. Gymnasium. With a D. There's no one going up. It's like D apostrophe gymnasium. Like Django. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There should be guys in here being like, I think you're supposed to fill that in on top. Can you spot me, bro? That's what I should hear. Oh, yeah, so we'll do one of our sketches. Do you guys do Hans and Franz for this? Yes, we do. We're here to pump you up.

We sure as hell are. Are you pumped yet? Well, I ain't Hans. I'm Franz. You know what? I'm Franz. Wait, which are you? ain't Hans. I'm Franz. You know what? I'm Franz. Wait, which are you? I'm Franz.

I'm Hans. And together we are Franz and Hans. Yeah. Get pumped up. You know, they've been in the United States for a long time. We were born here. Exactly. That's the thing.

We're doing, by this time they would have lost their accents. It's the medieval evolution. We're second generation Austrians. What's the fucking problem? Austria, I miss you. Never been. I was born in Tustin. Near the jewelry exchange.

Yeah, my parents worked there, Australian jewelers. They were professional wavers. Sometimes we do very specific California references. Yeah. And that's for- The end of the jewelry exchange commercial, they got everyone at the company to stand for a shot where they all- They're all waving to the camera.

And it's hypnotic and scary. We did a whole Pete Ellis Dodge episode. It was incredible. Keys on Van Nuys. Keys on Van Nuys is our most popular and least heard sketch. Yeah, that's right. We only play it for Californians. It's dynamically inserted into California

downloaders. We do dynamic insertions. Galpin? You guys do anything with Galpin? We have. Get it at Galpin. The Galpin Pin Gals. They collect, they're two female characters and they collect pins from Galpin Dodger. Pin setters.

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Keep making it or what about our show? I was wanting to ask you. that's why we are making a bunch of stuff yeah well you're making all these shows you guys and then you just kind of like we'll go like well maybe not that it's maybe it's this i feel like is what you're saying most of the time yeah yeah yeah and we've been kind of just doing this yeah and and really the whole time going maybe not that. Mm-hmm. You don't see the evolution, though,

of your show? What is it? I guess, like, my question for you guys would be like... You used to be scared of things. You're not scared of things anymore. And you were a reality show show.

We used to talk about nerds. Yeah. You did actually evolve. You used to talk sort of like in a, like often in a Tarzan sort of patois. Yeah.

Now you talk like normal people. Yeah. Well, normal, Yeah. Well, normal relative. That's relative. Some of the shit we say is actually pretty fucked up. Yeah.

It's true. It's true. I mean, it's definitely, it's incendiary. Yeah. Your expression on that was disconcerted. It's incendiary.

What? His expression when he said that was disconcerted. your expression we're firebrands eh it's incendiary what his expression when he said that was disconcerted when he said pretty fucked up and you gave the most confident expression I've ever seen

a very satisfied smile I have never seen such confidence like that was it looked like pure contentment to me yeah that's

that's my happy place what can I say it's my happy place what can I say it's my happy place now that was very awesome I guess my question for you guys is like what does it feel like for an opportunity to come along

this is a new side of you guys like do people like when someone asks you to do something this is a new side of you guys like yeah can you see it like do people like when like someone asks you to do something else like how

what happens is there any warning or something is it the phone or could it happen suddenly for us why don't we do we have to do anything

let's try it hey we're looking for two spokespersons but where are we like what where am I we're at, we're looking for two spokespersons. But where are we? Where am I? We're at a party. Okay, give me a sound effect.

Party, Hollywood party. Hollywood party. How did I get there? Oh, the casino. We're at a party. At a casino. Am I invited? Pachanga Casino, but you're the plus one.

Oh. Of your wife. Nice. Okay. I brought my glow sticks. I got my pacifier. I'm just setting the scene. No, no, no.

So it's a Hollywood casino party. Yeah. I've got a Vicks tube in my mouth. I'm blowing up people's faces. And this is what gets you noticed. A Vicks vaporapoRub? Well, apparently not. Like one of those sticks?

Yeah, it's a stick, and it's got the little, and there's like menthol in it, and I put it in my mouth facing out, I bite down, I take in a deep breath, and then I blow it all over your face. It's like a smelling salt, but for Vicks? Like one of those little vials that you break, the ammonia vials? It's not a vial. It would look like a chapstickstick and you would take the cap off and you could sniff it.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. My jeans are unmanageably huge. I'm wearing essentially like giant goat legs. Right. And I don't have a shirt per se. Is it mesh? Well, I have enough straps that it creates the effect of a shirt.

But I can pry them apart at any time. You took a sleeveless, like a tank top t-shirt, and you cut away everything but the seams that... It's more that I took like... It's like a shirt frame. It's more like 16 pairs of suspenders. Okay. All right.

And I'm dressed like the dad from that HBO ecstasy documentary. Ah, yes. So upside down visor, small town ecstasy. That's right. Small town ecstasy. Thank you. Yes. I'm dressed like the guy in Uncut Gems that the girl meets in the casino.

Do you know who I'm talking about? Robert Evans. The older one. We're talking and then we see you guys. Well is right. I think things are going very good. You guys want a back rub or anything?

Who are these come-to-towners? Welcome to the party. Thank you for joining us. Are you elites? Hayes, you want to feel that one? I spell that with an E E-L 3-3-T

5. Well, then they are elites. I like these guys. I do too. What moxie? What verve? And what do you do exactly? You name it. Okay, I will. Circus performer. Pan flute player.

Volkswagen pitchman. Please. And see, like, here is where I'm going to have to, like, sit down. Like, in these conversations, like, I'm sitting down now, so this is fine. But if this is at a party, I am ready to faint. I might pass out. I brought some of those three-legged folding stools.

That feels like I'm getting very lucky here. This is how it happens? That's how it feels. Say, you guys busy the next couple weeks? The only answer is yes. Kevin, I mean, Kevin keeps our schedule.

Kevin, do we have anything lined up? Not until like February 8th, right? Yeah, we're good for like six weeks. This was a big scheduling. This is one of the 12 tasks of scheduling Hercules. Just this one. Scheduling. And so Kevin will be taking a little bit of a vacation after this.

This one was clearing out the stables. Anyway, we have some opportunities for you if you're interested. Okay. They won't last long, you understand. Okay. Okay. We're looking for a couple of pitchmen. Yeah.

Pitch boys. You guys are young. You'll appeal to the girls. Yes. I love that your jeans could fit over his goat legs. So imagine a goat wearing jeans. And then a naked guy. From the bottom down. From the bottom down.

From the waist down. That's what we're looking for. How do you know I'm not wearing anything underneath? I can tell. If your jeans are that big, why would you bother wearing anything underneath? There's so much wind blowing through there right now. I can hear that. They're weirdly tight in the crotch.

For such ballooning jeans, I don't know how you managed it. Talk to the man upstairs on that one. The casino owner? Yes, James Caan. Yeah, we know him. So what kind of stuff? What are we pitching? Cars.

Cars. The movie. Oh. Oh. This is going to be a third, fourth? Fifth. Ah. Two?

Really? Keep talking. I'm going to keep going higher. Let's go to 10. 10. Cars 10. We're doing a 10-triology of the Cars films. We need pitchmen, goat legs and jeans, naked from the waist down.

You need us to be in commercials. White Void. I'm not. Really? Yeah. We're bringing that back. That's how we're doing movies now. We're bringing back the White Void.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. There's a commercial for them. I'm Justin Long. I'm just putting that out there right now. You're a nerd. Yeah.

You're cool. You're a nerd. Yeah. And this is for Cars 10, which is slated to release in 2045. Exclusively on the Cars.com streaming service. Okay. We just need two more movies to come out so we can launch the service. What happened to their pitch, man?

The Cars.com pitch, man. He did die. Oh, no. Oh, that's terrible. Is it Mater still in these Cars movies? Yep. Or is it? Okay.

It's not like a next generation. It's Mater meets Vader, and they're doing a Star Wars crossover for this one. Vader and Mater. Darth Mater. Can I say quickly? It's Darth Vader playing a car. It's all going to be characters playing other characters. So it's actors playing characters playing another character. Yeah.

But aren't we all doing that? So it's James Earl Jones as Darth Vader as a Toyota Hubel wagon. Then Larry the Cable Guy, you know, Dan Whitney as Larry the Cable guy as that car, Mater. Mater, yeah. And we're bringing all the Redneck Tour guys back for this one, too. Yeah, Ron White. As Ron Wright. Ron Wright.

As a bird scooter. What's the matter? Jeff Foxworthy. Are you trying to remember? This guy's forgetting Bill Angle, baby. Oh, I got one word for you. Here's your sign. Hey, take it easy. You want this job or not?

So what I'm learning is not so much what an opportunity feels like, but I am learning. Shut it off. I am learning, I think. It's like hardcore. Why Super Ego is so heavily edited. Uh-huh. Because, let's face it, I think It's like hardcore Why Super Ego is so heavily edited Uh huh Because let's face it

that sketch had a lot of dead air I was responsible for most of it Right Every time I was asked a question I had no idea

what to do At the end of every season of Super Ego we release just an episode of all the stuff that was cut out and it's just like

different people saying, uh, what else? Things like that. Yeah. Hold on. Hold on. Yeah.

There's a big, there's a popular catchphrase. That was stupid. I'm so close to something. Yeah. A lot, a lot of times it would be like, and we,

we, every sentence, someone will say like, could be funny if, uh, yeah. One person will say like, let's take a break, and then we

keep recording, and we take a break. And that's on there. And it's just like drinking water or sodas, and we're talking about our day, I guess. Things like that. But that's how it happens. That's like with Conan and stuff. That's how it's like parties.

Like, that's where all this stuff... How did you end up working for the soup kitchen? You're saying it's not the same thing? Right. You didn't go to some parties? Soup parties? I don't work for the soup kitchen. What are your soup parties like?

It's cooler than that. Soup palace. Okay. Is there a plantation of any kind? How do I get there? I know it's like no one is coming to me and either of us and being like, like, uh,

Hey, here's like, I'm sure you were like paper teamed with Nicole for, for neighborhood. Listen. Oh, absolutely. No one's being like,

we have this other person that will like team with you guys. Have you guys ever thought of splitting up? Yeah, Colin came to me, and presumably Nicole separately, and said, hey, we're looking to just match people up. What do you think about this? And I was like, okay. And presumably Nicole was okay because we did that show together. Podcast Key Party. Yeah, yeah, essentially.

I think it could be that one of you is bringing the other down. That one of you has succeeded. We've been trying to figure that out for a long time. Because we know. Everyone talks about who it is. We won't say who it is. Okay. But I will say you never wrote yourself into

any scenes on any of your shows. And I mean, that's like... That's true. They didn't have to change the rules. Any networks to stop me from doing that. There's no Hayes Davenport rule at HBO. There's some more dead air. This would be a great bonus for the fans.

Can we borrow the last 10 seconds? there's some more dead air I don't know so this would be a great bonus for the fans yeah they're gonna love it can we borrow the last 10 seconds of my life so you wanted to come on here to say that the show is still happening Super Ego the show

first of all yes we definitely wanted to come on here. Second, second, that is our aim, yes. The show is still, look, we're Matt and Paul,

we're here to say Super Ego is still happening in a major way. Also, all the back episodes have been pulled from Stitcher Premium and are nowhere to be found. But we'll get them up soon. Okay, they're working on it. If you have seen them anywhere, if they're showing up in any feed that you have, let us know. Because it's weird.

Episode 3-1, especially, doesn't know how to feed itself. That shouldn't be out there. And it's the first 48. Yeah. Exactly. Really, after that. Exactly. You're in trouble.

There are the first 48. I'm so worried to death. If you see an episode of Super Ego hosted by Keith Morrison, please let us know. And not just any individual episode, the thing whatever just tell us we're worried they'll be back kevin what happened i heard about this are you guys okay we're okay the deal just ended that's not what you want that's not what you want to win yeah well you know what you go to the journey can we call and be like hey all our episodes disappeared

I heard something about this are you guys okay? could Kevin take his line again and just make it sound a little more natural and sympathetic just less like you're reading it off the page hey I heard about this, are you guys okay? it was better he said hey

I guess I would say imagine something related to your job happened that was bad. And you had to put on the face of being good and caring. I need a minute. Can we take it again?

Imagine if it happened to your podcast. How you would feel. Hey, everyone. Guess what? Are you guys okay? Hey, everyone. Guess what? Guess what?

That implies news, not a question. I'm worse off now. Do you know what, though? Getting farther away. Guess what does get people's attention? I can see it as, i can see a way of using that in a stressful situation to focus people uh hey guess what are you bleeding because it looks like you're bleeding yeah you're not gonna believe this yeah but we should defer there's only one

person in this room who got on was it indy wireire? IndieWire's 50 best episodes of 2019. And that is Kevin for his show Maybe Don't. Really? Yes. Wow. That was what I said to my phone. And got me to check out the show. I mean it's number 49. That's why he can afford to be so dismissive.

Which episode was it of Maybe Don't? Kevin. It's called Oh No. Yeah, I listened to that one. What was special about that episode? They didn't even say in the description. Was it just a flat list of things? It was not like a little blurb about it?

No, there was a blurb. Oh. And it was like like like a little blurb about it like no there was a blur oh and it was like kevin's from hollywood handbook and it was like okay so they know about us that doesn't make me feel better i guess i would prefer that this is like you know they didn't know about us at all you gotta get the holly Hollywood hand hive to just descend on IndieWire. I know. They're not punishing people enough anymore. Yeah. Why is it just me?

The show, so I listened to the episode. It's an interesting social experiment. So, like, basically, Yu Song will talk about kind of his anxiety and social situations and then he will get advice on how to behave from Kevin

so it's a one person advice podcast if that it's just your I mean I mean the it's just, I mean, the podcast should be called blindly the block. You don't think maybe don't covers that.

I guess the fact that they chose to name it, that, you know, like that's, who's responsible. Like that. These are their instincts. Right.

Um, can we get some advice from you, Kevin? Yeah, Kevin. What should we be doing? Maybe we can all get some personal advice. Sure. Do you have any questions?

Nope. Give us the advice. Yeah. What should we do for questions? Okay. Oh, good one. Thanks. What should we do for questions?

Talk to your neighbors more Like meet new people Hold on a second How did you not start it with Hey guess what Hey guess what Oh now I'm listening Huh?

Yeah Huh? Talk to your neighbors more This is coming from the guy Who showed up like nine weeks early To see the Mr. Rogers documentary That's a story he told on this show That he was just at the theater

Going like I'm here to see Mr. Rogers And they were like That's not story he told on this show That he was just at the theater going like I'm here to see Mr. Rogers And they were like that's not happening yet What Maybe don't Yousong says like I met someone I was starstruck by And I didn't know what to say

And then Kevin's like I found that you should say that you love a specific project they're in. Because if you just say that you're a fan of theirs, it's pretty scary for them. Well, it seems uncomfortable. Talk about that, Paul. You're having a reaction.

Well, I'm assuming Kevin is drawing that from his own experience. Somebody knows him from either Maybe Don't or Hollywood Handbook. And they come up to him and say, I'm a big fan. But if somebody says, I'm a big fan of Maybe Don't, that puts you more at ease, right? Yes. Yes, it does. Okay. Does that happen?

Yes. Do you get stopped around town? Only at the Comedy Bang Bang tour. Not around town uh only at the comedy bang bang tour not around town no although they take place in towns yeah

okay yeah I guess so big cities usually huh yeah yeah yeah I'm a big fan of yours Kevin thanks I'm a big fan of your work

oh that's creepy crap do you feel scared yeah thank god there's a glass dividing is that you going out on one of those again i don't know the old i don't know storming tour we did it you know we've done it a couple times maybe we'll do it again i don't know ackerman dangling in front of you he did dangle the idea that we'd have some more live dates this year? Yes, he did. Yes, he did.

Because I said my plan for 2020 was to never, never leave Los Angeles. And he said, oh, well, we have some dates planned. So better be on your best behavior in a week. Yeah, I know.

I fucked up. Super Ego Tour? Two shows. Two shows. Is that a tour? San Francisco and Portland. One of them takes place? Does one of them take place? That'd be the second longest tour we've ever done. You guys ever do afternoon shows?

Here's my question. That's when comedy is really peaking. We do it at 3pm. Right after lunch. Daytime comedy show is like, yes. It's late when you get in, dark when you leave. That's why I got into this business, to set an alarm to go to work. Who's going on the Super Ego Tour?

The four of us. It's most of us. The four of us. Yeah, the of us. The four of us. Yeah, the four main ones. The four main ones. Jeremy, Mark, Paul, and Matt. But if Carl Tartt is not there, is it really a podcast tour?

Can you really call it that if Carl isn't there? The Doughboys are like, excited to announce that Carl Tart is joining us. He changed the live podcast game. He's on Radiolab Live. Is he really?

Yeah. I wanted it to be true. So what they discovered inside the car, he goes, toot, toot, beep. Do you find it at all endearing that I can be so naive sometimes? No, I find it precious and it also scares me. Yeah. I worry. I worry.

Yeah, he's got money tied up in you. You know? Really? You do? Look, I can do the sounds. I can't put them in anything. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

It is, all jokes aside, it is true that if Matt died then there would be no more Super Ego because nobody would do the editing no one would someone could do the editing no one would go to those that's what he said

he said nobody would do it yeah that's fair we could all team up and do it yeah like between the three of us remaining

the surviving members we could figure out like I guess you pause it here and then you drag this over and slap it in. And Jeremy would lead this? Probably. Yeah.

Yeah. Jeremy would sit us down. Hey, guess what? Or are we bringing in some fresh blood? Maybe. Oh, Carl Tartt. Yeah. Bringing Carl Tartt.

That'd be a happy replacement. Carl Tartt. He's on one of the upcoming episodes. Yes, he is. I think the next one. Yeah. And the one after. Which we didn't even record with him.

He just appeared on it. Yeah. Well, that makes me feel better that he wasn't invited. And now we come to it. And this is the moment that I knew was coming. This whole two hours we've been sitting here together, I was like, when are they going to bring up that we've never invited them to be on Super Ego?

No, it's okay. We got to do one spot like five years ago. Well, you did two. We did two, yeah. I know, but you didn't let us do our stuff. Famously, the first time you didn't really. I let you do your famous story. You did your famous story.

I gave you the opportunity. And what you did with it was up to you. I treated you the same as everyone else. You didn't, no. Then you guys ambush me and do a mocking version of my show to my face? I show up, you use my candle. No, but you're leaving out that we also got attention for it.

Did you even think about that? You're forgetting. Did you even think about that? We also got attention and possibly money, but it's hard to like... It's really hard to track that shit around here. What made money and did it? What am I being paid for?

You break it down where you get paid for specific episodes? That's what I'm saying. No, there's no way to know. Yeah, it's just a pile. Yeah. If you could even call it that. Yeah, you just walk into Colin's office and he goes, I think I have something around here somewhere.

Do you know that what... Starting this year, what they're going to do is they're going to have one of those booths that it just makes the money fly around. As much as you can grab. Yeah, money grab. But it's all,

the bills are greased up and some of them are stuck to the window. And they're electrically charged to shock you. But depending on how well your show does determines how long

you get to be in the booth. Ah. That's a pretty good system. So like, how does this get made? Like, Shear could be in there, like, for a day, you know? He could be there for, like, a full work day. Shear would have to bring in, like, some food. He'd order Postmates in the booth.

It's hard to have to, like, prepare to, like, basically camp out in the buddy booth. You have to eat the heaviest food so that it won't fly around. Just the densest food you can think of. A Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah, I know.

I'm thinking of dense foods now. What do you got? You guys want to go across the street to Dency's? I'm not supposed to say. Oh, where we are. Exactly. Oh, I'm sorry. Well, there's a lot of Densey's.

If you mention that we're close to Densey's, people could sort of triangulate. Yeah. Oh, right. I'm sorry. Then you've got to deal with Densey's Midnight Runners. Oh, my God. I love them. They show up at night.

Well, you don't know for sure. I mean, that's when they start running. I think some people think this is when the show is running out of steam. I think this is actually the good stuff. This is when it's taking off. The roller coaster gives you a lull right before that final

crazy, crazy climb. It's coming any second now. Yeah, I can feel it. Bye. Hollywood Handbook. That was a HeadGum Podcast.