Hollywood Handbook - Paul Rust and Matt Gourley, Our Close Friends

Episode Date: June 8, 2021

The Boys have some fun talking to PAUL RUST and MATT GOURLEY about scary movies and their podcast With Gourley and Rust. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. caught doing this by my neighbor i'm doing it out on the porch and i'm facing their house and i'm nude because i'm on my property and my neighbor well you know him robert davi so okay so he starts you know and you know how he is real pain in the ass this guy it starts being like hey you gotta throw your robot or you gotta put on a towel and you know you know how he sounds and i'm going like i'm going like all right all right fair enough fair enough didn't know you were up i mean of course you know it's pretty early in the morning at this point it's it's 4 a.m it's dark out so i'm like how do you even see and he he's got night vision goggles on yeah and you also have a uv light that you're using well i've got the uv light but it's pointed directly in my mouth and

he says what are you doing over there so i'm cleaning my retainers and he says you're supposed to take them out and i said how about i take you out old man hi yeah and i start and i start showing him some of my karate okay but did he let me ask you did he come all the way up onto your front porch to talk to you about this or did you by the time the conversations got to this point because now it sounds like you're in like close physical proximity we're drifting towards each other the whole time you're both moving toward each other well slowly though and also he's i think got some kind of drone backpack on because he starts hovering over me a drone backpack yeah which i hadn't seen before but he's kind of flying just over me and and as mad as i am i'm realizing this son of a bitch is right like you know sometimes

you can get some helpful knowledge from an unlikely source because i shouldn't be putting bleach in my mouth or shining a uv light in there and i probably should put on a robe or something so i you know i don't want to apologize because i have a lot of pride and robert davi certainly is just the kind of guy who he would get so much satisfaction from me saying so in order to double down i go no no no it's fine i'm supposed to leave him in watch this i swallow the bleach and the light now i need his help yeah i am sick he's to his credit he goes oh no that's really nice hooks his arms under my armpits and luckily he's wearing this drone backpack and he essentially medivacs like know, he becomes a sort of helicopter.

And he drops me off on the roof of Cedars. And they found me eventually. You know, I'm okay. Yeah, that's not where you're supposed to. There's no, like, pickup area up there. I think he thought there was a helipad. I didn't see the kind of symbol up there but at any rate some guy came out there to smoke a doobie and uh he finds me rolls me down the

stairs and somebody took care of something but i you know i i owe the guy a house plan or something welcome to hollywood handbook and insider's Guide to Kicking Butt and Dropping Names. I love this. I love this. Like seeing we have guests on the show. We have friends that we get to know over the years. And in this like world that we're all just kind of like bouncing around and we're meeting each other. We're like forming these relationships. We meet each other.

We do. like forming these relationships. We meet each other. We do. And then to watch them meet each other and have something blossom with them, a new podcast. They do their own show. And I believe we introduced them.

And I think we said, you guys should do something, you know? You guys, yeah. Mr. You know, so sorry, we should say Matt Guitar Man Gorley, the fucking Axeman himself the executioner is in the zone with us what's up guys the basterd executioner the basterd executioner that's perfect i'm axe body hey

That's perfect. I'm Axe Body. Hey. And Paul. Yes. Hello. I just go by Paul now. Like Madonna or Cher.

Come on. That's all we need. I know who you meant. It's Paul. And instead of casting a Paul over the proceedings paul is casting a podcast and he's doing it with matt and the guitar and and it's this movies you like you talk about these movies there's a there's like i think a great synchronicity with like the shows that we're doing because we talk about movies we talk about shows we talk about oh video game comic book yes we've been like we do this yeah but music video game comic book shows

yes exactly but we don't talk about stuff that's like gross and perverted and like uh that's depraved and we don't... Pornography? Yeah, body mutilation, pornography. Oh. We don't talk about that either. Is that what you're insinuating? We've never talked about pornography on our podcast. Oh, I guess to me it's pornography.

What, just horror movies are? The way you experience them seems to be, yes. Oh. Oh, well, I mean, from my perspective, I guess I think of, you know, a horror movie or a soap opera or, you know, a prestige television show. They're all the campfire that we sit down to tell stories.

Yeah, and if people don't watch these and experience them, there's even an argument to be made of repression and pent-up. See, these are cathartic in a way. So I think in some ways, you guys might be doing yourself a disservice and are in a way kind of pornographic cowboy team that not watching these movies yeah that feature like yeah you follow like a woman's blood so you watch this movie and like there's a woman's blood everywhere and you're like this is i love this movie i'm gonna do an entire show about you're like this is entertaining this is my choice. I could have watched almost anything,

but I wanted to see a woman's blood, and then I'm going to talk about it. Guys, this is as old as when we were in the caves and we'd get scared of the shadows. Yeah. And we'd call the shadow... Beastie. Or we'd call the shadow...

Moon Creature. Yeah. yeah okay i do remember that okay i do remember saying that okay i'll take the hit i said that i wasn't that scared i was observing it and i was i was definitely being aware of it and cautious about it. I was using a healthy amount of caution. I absolutely didn't want to be unnecessarily risky in my behavior. So yes, I suppose I screamed, got under a rock, but that's actually just respecting the cave shadow. Have you guys seen Moon Creature 2? Because that's when it really kicks in. See, the thing is

you might just be seeing some of these early prototype shadow puppet horror stories but it's really when the franchise gets rolling that really starts to work do that noise your question about the women's blood and do we enjoy women's blood i did not ask any questions about women but because it's not an area of fascination for you sure seem to be talking about it a lot am i right paul i'm talking i am engaging with our guests uh for who this has become a area of focus in their lives is women's blood we never brought it up you brought it up your primary interest and you dedicated an entire this is off the rails this is off the rails and paul got so distracted just thinking about women's blood that when you threw to your co-host to support you and back you up

and you said boy you seem to be talking about a lot am i right paul paul was frozen face frozen with joy an ecstatic grin stretched across his face because he just had heard the term women's blood so but if you'd like to answer the question that you're posing paul about like is this something that's like uh that you guys are into or like to sort of explain that. That's fine. I'm happy to hear that. They give you the platform to talk about this. Oh, yeah. No, I'm definitely into it.

Yeah, me too. I should have said that. I love seeing the destruction of human bodies. I'm wearing some women's blood right now. But it's male or female, whatever it is.

Yeah. Just to see a representation of somebody's soul leaving their body. Yeah. So it's not about the violence or Gord Hugh. It's just the death. No, it's just not just about the violence. Okay. There's a spiritual level to it, too.

It works on all levels this pornography all this really cool stuff like that okay and you just called it pornography i don't know if you even caught your if you even noticed you were doing that you referred to it as pornography well that's silly i i mean if i did that then i would have been saying it but i didn't i i mean it's just that's pro porno yeah the fact that you would even say that is pro-porno. I mean, this is... I think you guys... You mean preposterous.

You're making me feel pornographic. Yeah, it doesn't sound anything like preposterous. Anyway, pornography. Let's talk about the show. It's called all these different things. It keeps changing, right? Every time I... The SEO guys must be pulling their hair out the show it's called all these different things it keeps changing right every time i the the seo guys must be pulling their hair out because every time i look at something new well we just settled

on its final name okay pornography that's the name of the show that's the name of your podcast i don't know if you heard that again that, the search results are not going to pull you guys up first. Well, I think if we get enough listeners, we will. And with a name like that, it's going to be hard not to. I think if you put pornography in quotes, you'll get our podcast. Yeah. I don't want to try it, but Kevin, see what comes up if you put pornography in quotes and search for it

okay hope you like podcasts it auto filled when he put the quote in it's just a lot of blur the band yeah it's a lot of the bands like early albums what are some of the some of these

right yeah where were you guys when that video dropped on 120 minutes probably helping my grandma a hot sunday night it was hot. Because I was helping her cook. I get you. That's the sound. First of all, I can't really tell where it comes from or how he does it. Oh my gosh.

Again. He's holding something in his hand. He must. He must have something. No. Wow. Let's talk about the different movies there's freddy krueger movie look there's not just freddy krueger movie like funny movie or scary movie you know it's it's called nightmare no it's called space jam 2 oh it's called yeah it's just not freddy krueger movie okay so it's a bit insulting because this is kind of our

field of expertise is what we work in and i just want you to respect it it is a nightmare on elm street thank you so my experience primarily with freddy krueger movie is through the song uh nightmare on my street is my street elm street in that song i don't know what's your street called i in the song no in real life which street the one you live on trying to he's trying to figure out your porno name john John. This guy is obsessed with porno. He sees your cat behind you and he's going to combine those names and he's going to make a porno name

and he's going to put you into one of his sinister pornos. Please, will you call me? I live at 919 Monster Wingus Avenue. What is this porno name thing you oh if you don't know about this no paul you've never done this no porno name dude it's awesome hey that's a little r-rated maybe hard r-rated yeah maybe it's best to leave that alone i can explain so what you you what you take is your your street from your childhood home

and your pet's name and you combine those and it creates your porno name your current pet or your childhood pet i think it's your your first pet, my first pet's name was Monster Wingus. That's weird. Oh, that's crazy. My first pet was named Dripping. So I guess... I guess I would be Dripping Monster Wingus. That's like being John Malkovich or Saving Private Ryan.

That's a tight 90s movie with a with a jaron does the first word yeah that was my first pet's name kevin so we can do it with kevin grew up his his how his home he grew up in like circumstances where his home like basically was a street so he did grow up on bartell street and he was named after his family's very weird dog so his porno name is actually is actually kevin bartell wow so are you in porno oh no it's frozen by default yes oh well so wherever kevin goes that is that is actually a porno yes Oh, okay. Yeah, come on our show. Thanks, happy to be there. Well, we're not there yet, but okay. We'll be happy to be there.

Okay, thank you. Thank you. And Paul's trying to scare me. I just want to... Oh my God, Paul. Yeah, Paul's being really freaky. He froze. Really trying to scare me.

Now I'm back. It froze. And it follows. Yeah. So let's's talk and this is scary movies again right and let's talk about this yeah but not the comedies we could talk about those though if we want to write the um probably scary movie too is the one we'd most want to dig into since this is a comedy podcast why that one and now why this one let's unpack that paul please why scary movie 2 why is that one resonating with you the most is that the one where the cum is blasting them in the in the sky stick them to the ceiling they're stuck to the ceiling with the cum

no that's number one that's all that's one. Two is the one with the small hand. Yes. Chris Elliott's small hand. Yes. And David Cross in a wheelchair. Mm-hmm. I think what I genuinely love, those really quickly

made spoof movies where there's like a spoof of the Nike ad where the shoes start to making sounds and it kind of makes a rhythm and then you watch the movie 20 years later and you're like, this is on the top of their minds

for hot spoofery? It was something for that day from the day they made the movie they're like oh this commercial's on today yeah yeah yeah hey i wonder if we could spoof this thing that happened to me in the parking lot on the way into the well no that's not that's not what you're supposed to do so what what is it in scary movie 2 that appalled to you is um that you love or is it that uh i think it's that but i think it's also the uh what lies beneath spoof yeah they were really focused on what lies beneath for that one in fact i remember one of the protagonists is wearing that on a t-shirt in the poster

where there's some direct spoof references. There's an exorcist person. You could get some of the references. What lies beneath is implied as just that text. We're going to need to say it. On the t-shirt. Hey, this isn't reading necessarily. Like a good political cartoon.

But weren't Harrison Ford and Michelle Pfeiffer wearing that in the original poster for What Lies Beneath? To be fair, throughout that movie, Harrison Ford is wearing a What Lies Beneath t-shirt. I had forgotten that. A crew shirt, I think. they were too afraid to ask him to take off um which which one was the signs one that was a scary movie three aha and mr simon rex The patriarch of the family. Former adulterer, skin film superstar, Simon Rex.

Now I'm listening. Yeah, we love skin films. Recovering adulterer. Our other podcast is called Skin Film. Wow. Ah, yes. And another one called Mr. Stag. Yes.

But, Gorleyley you're right we we shouldn't just discuss the scary movie spoof movies there are other no i genuinely want to know which one was the science one oh oh oh scary movie three yeah and edda ferris is in that? Yeah, and it goes down in quality because they bring the Zuckers in to start making them. They kick out the Wayanses. The Wayans who are a little, yeah. And they truly become less funny. Can I, can I? So, and I hope this doesn't offend anyone. So you referred to Simon Rex as an adulterer.

I think anybody who's ever done adult films is cheating on whoever they're in a relationship with. Okay, because so in your mind, Simon Rex had an affair. Yes. And here he is in the movie with Anna Faris. Anna Faris. You want to come on our podcast uh yeah i mean i'll do basically anything i'll go on but i want you to know that it won't be because of your podcast it will be because of me and what's wrong with hey man it works both ways It's a win-win. It's a Giamatti.

Did you guys watch the Giamatti Awards this year? Yeah, win-win swept. I know. Yeah, I just can't watch it without a host, you know? I know. I mean, for me, it's like... But we're from the comedy world. Of course we want to see a stand-up comic kill up on that stage.

Come on. That's us. That's us up there. The clowns. We need the clowns there. Something to aspire to. Somebody to poke a little fun at these self-serious, you know... Maybe with a beer in their hand.

Right? Yeah. I'm sorry. We're not kissing your ass for the entire uh night we're gonna actually make you taste a little bit of medicine as well and it'll be good for you puncture the ego the massive ego maybe if the comedian's on stage all your heads will fit inside the door we won't have to do it on zoom next time you hey i nominate you host yeah i can't do it why you said you'd do anything i know but as meatloaf once said oh yeah yeah two out of three ain't bad um there uh it's have you guys seen spice world recently i watch it are you talking like last couple days or last couple weeks

i watch it me and my friends went through candy at the screen yeah i went on super bowl sunday to say fuck you to the super bowl yeah that was my first movie back, Spice World. Just finally felt normal again, sitting in a theater watching Spice World, throwing candy at the screen with my friends. The lights went out, and I went, we're back, baby! Meatloaf has a cameo part as the tour bus driver, and one of the girls comes up. It was like,

I'm meatloaf. The bathroom broke. The water closet broke down. Right? And then, can you clean it, is the joke. Can you go clean it? And he goes, girls, I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.

And they say, he is meatloaf? And they say, meatloaf, you're driving meatloaf and they say the loaf you're driving yeah he's a tour bus driver that'd be better uh because it was more of a he's just a regular show but a wink wink a loaf wink. God, I love remembering movies. I know. Especially ones from when I was a kid. Oh, yeah.

Podcasts, it's such a beautiful way to remember movies with your friends. It is. But if you can monetize it, yeah it's a win-win yes yeah because i would be remembering movies anyway i'd just be doing it alone at my house yeah and if no one's there to remember a movie with you did it get remembered oh yeah uh it's shot i saw you recently watch the most recent Christopher Nolan movie. And you were a guy who momentarily didn't understand it. Yeah. This has really had a very long life. That was like three or four months ago, I think.

But this character is really on staying power. This was my first step into front-facing comedy videos. I had to get in the pool it just looked like everyone was splashing around and having so much fun i said well i know how to swim a little bit let me have let me let me throw on my swimmies to get in here and uh so i did this character that yeah people have been talking about it a lot even more lately i think than when it came out i was a character who very briefly was confused by one aspect of the christopher nolan film tenant but then i it was quickly resolved as i figured out ah yes all

the clues were there and he had actually explained it and it was on me uh now sean i don't know if you saw this and maybe it's just like a case of parallel thinking but did you see last friday's episode of fridays they did a bit that was very similar to that so i don't know if people fridays did that i don't know if any but any of the writers for fridays follow you on twitter wait can i say which performer on fridays was it because that will actually I think that informs a lot tell a lot about like whether this is something they came up with on their own or something that they might have who was it Gourley because we watched

it together on Friday night and we turned to each other and were like they ripped off Sean's bit was it Michael Richards or Robin Duke was it yeah might have been was it Martin Muller or am I thinking of Fernwood tonight? We were staying at a Red Roof Inn

when we were watching that. We were just eating at a Red Lobster and a TGI Fridays. We got diarrhea. We were eating at Red Fridays and watching Red Dawn. You guys on Letterboxd? Yeah, you guys on Letterboxd?

Do you box? I was on letterboxd yeah you guys on letterboxd you uh do you box so i i i was on letterboxd my ideas about some of these movies were too smart and uh a bunch of people got together and was just like hey we're not ready for these ideas yet we understand that it's us yeah that like that we are the problem in this case uh but yeah this stuff is just way way way too smart for us i use the phrase character development in every review that i wrote that did you say a lot that a city plays a character yeah and just like that my criticism is always that the character development was undercooked uh and people were like you had mentioned to me that one of the films you that one

of the films you watch and this actually i had to go take a walk when i heard this that you you had found some third act problems i said third eye problems i every single time i said it had plot holes that you could drive a 16 wheeler through that's a phrase that i know i use in every review you were saying like you would never say like this director of photography shot this film you'd always say this dp lends to this it was lends by deacons it was lends by the fister you know stuff was getting helmed as well yeah a lot of stuff was helmed directors are helmers at my reviews yeah and tuned for costumed you're using apostrophe tuned upped for makeup i get i guess i get why people ran you off there with pitchforks and torches

yeah too smart too smart for me yeah i yeah i i thought i was on letterboxd um i i really thought i was there for a while and i was really enjoying the site and the user experience i i as it turns out i was reading the lyrics to the pearl jam song yellow lead better which i guess i don't know has gone out of frame on my part but that is what I was doing some pretty powerful ideas that made me see movies differently but yeah it wasn't Letterboxd

and then by that time I was all tuckered out I had to go to bed you were really tired I remember that I was sleepy I tried to go to Letterboxd too it didn't oh yeah what happened and then i guess i'll have one after this too yeah what happened instead instead of going to letterboxd i went to litterboxd oh oh

and a big bag of litter got dumped on my head when I downloaded the app. Oh, no. Oh, no. Paul. And then a cat pooped on me. Oh, Paul. No, the cat pooped on your head? Yeah.

Wow. It was a heightening for sure. Tell me it didn't try to bury it in your hair. It buried it in my hair and then it was an egg oh oh man no cats put look at that cat and sean does she sense he sense that i'm doing cat talk right now doesn't like it i think he can feel it yeah and he's he's going hey what's my name doing in your mouth paul i gotta walk over there and knock it out of there. Hey, guys, I went to Letterboxd.

Uh-oh. Oh, okay. All right. We had been promised something like this. Hey, Matt. So the premise here is Matt went to Letterboxd. So I went to Letterboxd, and I see Layla Ali, and she's like, I don't need no permission to box and then

she said thank you very much she showed me the door she's saying that to the to the the app the site well i mean there's i went into a room and there was a couple of referees there and Layla Ali. And without understanding the context, without even taking size of the room, I just said, let her box. And they were taking it back. And Layla Ali just looked at me and was like, I don't need your permission to box. Yeah. Even if she needed permission, you know she yeah and you wouldn't

have that authority and i felt stupid and i left and i've never been back to that room letterbox to the room okay i've i have reviewed the room on letterbox so i like this so just a little housekeeping kevin what i think i want to do is in the edit can you put mats before paul because i i actually think it would get a pretty good pop if it had just come first but paul's is it's more humiliating you know and i think they're both strong they should both be in here but let's just flip them in the edit you got it well to that point john shouldn't yours go last? Oh, God. I would never. As the host, I think it was kind of cool that I shoved us off the shore.

And also, you guys were really playing very close to the language. I mean, litter boxed. Closer than Sean. Way closer than me. Mine was a pretty long walk. Yeah, so Kevin, if we could just lose Sean's all together, and then I'll go first, and then Paul. If we can get mine out, yeah.

And then, actually, if we could just take me out of the episode, I don't want to do this. I also liked what a weasel I was, that after you shit on us, I was like, but you should go last because yours was the best. What deranged psychology is that? You'll always be welcome back.

Like, I will lick the boots. More, sir. Yeah, no, that's the opposite of the philosophy that you should take on one of these shows. Just come out here and tell everyone else that their shit sucks. Yeah. Yeah. Just go at the host.

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unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money.com slash the boys that's rocket money.com slash the boys rocket money.com slash the boys hollywoodbook. In the same tradition as a Renny Harlan when he had his talk show. He would sort of rib people. The director of Die Hard 2 and Cliffhanger. And Nightmare on Elm Street.

Yeah, he helmed which Nightmare on Elm Street, Paul? Four. Did Renny help cutthroat island yeah yes he did wow knew it and and he took that cutthroat approach to his talk show huh yeah i wish he'd maybe uh cut throat some of the budget on cutthroat island but you just wish it was cheaper that was your criticism. Too much money on screen. I love this movie, but it's

frankly irresponsible. It outrages me when I see the amount of the millions they're throwing at these. It's so wasteful. I looked at the latest that Transformer movie. Three million dollars. Get out of here.

That's a lotto ticket. Buying one or winning one? It's got to be a winning one, right? It's $3 million to buy a lotto ticket these days. Wow. How messed up is our economy? Yeah. Oh, it's been mixed up since 2008, since the Great Recession.

It's true. It's upside down. It costs that much to buy. You'd save so much not buying lotto tickets. Because the price for lotto tickets is only two and a half. It costs three million. Anybody else see a problem here? Yeah, I've got a little bit of an issue with that.

That's your new CNBC show, right? Does anybody see a problem here? Anybody else see a problem here? I'm sorry. I'm just going to, let's just take a little walk around the grocery store and see what it costs to get a normal box of cereal. Oh, here's cereal i remember from when i was a kid lucky charms and the little leprechaun wanted all his

nice marshmallows let's just check the price tag oh four million dollars anybody else see a problem here i guess i won't get cereal well it's processed big factory you know they've got some overhead maybe just a piece of fruit hey Hey, here's a nice one. Why don't I buy a tangerine? Let me just turn it over. How much per tangerine? Oh, I see $8 zillion. Do you see a problem here?

For a tangerine? Well, I suppose they're out of season. Let's just walk on down the rest of the aisle. Here we go. A single almond that's out of the fucking container it fell out somebody scooped and it came off the scoop and it's on the ground how much to pick this up oh i just had to give them the deed to my house do you see thanks yeah that's a thanks for letting me workshop can we move that to the front kevin smart the money got a lot less on it was eight zillion and then it was it was a it was a house

but an almond but an almond so much cheaper than a tangerine. It makes sense. It's proportionate that it wouldn't cost as much as on the floor. I never said what my house cost. Oh. What does your house cost? Nine zillion. Nine zillion. Nine zillion. Two more than seven.

Yeah. Wow. Well, the housing market's insane right now. That's what it costs. And by the way, I'm living in a damn shoebox and cost me nine zillion dollars does anybody see the problem here i like that you kind of look down to the floor when you when you say it i get in there i like to get far away from the mic for the catchphrase so that for the people who don't have the video you know they won't be able to hear they know that something happened and that they have to buy it

people are enjoying it it's like oh i could hear that something visual happened yeah but i could see you as like yeah andy rooney the gen z's answer to andy rooney i'd love that role oh like uh what did they when they did 60 Minutes 2? Didn't they bring in Mo Rocca? Oh, that's right. The acerbic wit of a Mo Rocca. They did have Mo Rocca come in. And yes, he was very critical of some of these current events for sure. Yes.

Wait, you call yourself Almond Rocca and you just do things on almonds. Can we move that to the back of the show? We should do like a reverse sort of thing. So you can, if you play it in reverse, it tells you to kill your parents. Like Tenet. Oh, no, no. No, don't do that. No, we don't.

Kevin, we're all laughing about it. Don't do that with the show. Honestly, Kevin, don't do that. We'll see. Kevin, don't. Kevin, you don't know how to do that. Just based on... I know people who do.

Other sound stuff that's happened with the show. Just even how often our vocal tracks are like lined up it's sort of a weird alphabetically yeah like i just don't think you have it to like turn a track backwards and have it say something completely different if you can do that then there's a lot of stuff that i would like you to fix i turn my screen backwards and i hit upload that's my it's my secret but doesn't it download then oh damn it yeah if you turn your screen around while it's uh uploading it starts downloading everything yeah this is a george carlin routine yeah

uh my dad likes to talk about george carlin's deplane routine anytime we get on a goddamn plane oh is he doing that nice and loud for the whole plane to enjoy some people go has george carlin resurrected and gotten on my plane well if he has have him do modern man i don't know that one does your dad have a beard and ponytail he has a white the whitest beard and the whitest ponytail and a kind of a tight black uh you're good with materials fabrics gorely what would you say that that material is that's like turtleneck but not yeah not a turtle is it rayon we know it's not cotton the new stuff you mean like the athleisure are you talking like back in carlin's day carlin's day yeah like uh it would be like a shirt that wasn't it was a turtleneck material without the turtleneck. Oh, like a... Oh, God.

Yes, and it's not cotton, so maybe it was like a ray of... Wait. Polyester? Maybe it was cotton. I mean, yeah, why couldn't it be cotton? It looked like it would take longer to dry than cotton. Oh. It was water.

He wore water. Oh, yeah. He was wearing... Yeah, dark water. Yeah, dark water. Oh, forgot george carlin had that sort of power where he could mold water into different water moved around his torso yeah he was a late stage x-men where they ran out of shit and he would just use it to not be naked dark water man well you know i mean look we've talked about modern man on the show before uh and just to give you a taste of it paul because you may know the routine

is the one where he goes like i know the upside of downsizing i've seen the downside of upgrading and i can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond i get hate mail from my love child and i do it's all like opposite stuff and there's like nine applause breaks every time he finishes one of his runs that's a pretty solid carlin there sean that was good yeah uh also it's but yeah it's funny that like people are. He memorized! Yeah, that's exactly what it is. He knows the whole thing. This old man knows it. Not since Dennis Leary have I felt this way.

Dennis Miller has been on Gorley and I's pod a few times because we just enjoy his wit, but more his politics. Yeah. That's awesome, man. That's really cool uh he's cool he's got some good old snl stories and that's badass yeah what i mean can you give us a juicy tidbit i mean this might tempt people behind the paywall for you if you've got like a great dennis miller you know nugget that could lure them. Oh. Apparently Dennis Miller

I'd say the third episode of the 85-86 season the third episode in on the Friday before a show he threw Nora Dunn out a window. That's right.

He told us that. Wow. Right. I think I heard about this and when you watch the episode you can see that her hair is going straight up as if she's falling from a great height. Yep. In some of the sketches. They filmed her sketches I guess

as she was falling from the window. That's that show, especially in the 80s. Yeah, it was a little more run and gun, a little more loose. Now it feels so polished. Yeah, I loved it back in the days when Dennis Miller would, you know, throw Nora Dunn out a window the night before a show. It was just the wild days were cool.

There's this one story where he said he went to this room and he opened this room. There are a couple of referees in there. And he goes, Phil Hartman. And that guy goes, I'm already full. Get out of here. Was it the same room? Yeah. It's the room where all this kind of joke happens.

No. Those refs. Yeah. Are they wearing pants or are they wearing shorts? So, Paul, when you set out to ask the question, this is just for me to get inside your process. I'm a fan of your shit. Paul, when you set out to ask the question, this is just for me to get inside your process. I'm a fan of your shit,

and I just kind of want to be able to understand a little more what was happening. Did you have any of it, or did you bail on what the original thing was? Like, where did we stall out because i'm curious i'm curious you don't have to tell me if it was something that you realize like oh this is offensive or anything else that could have happened like that's okay you don't have to tell me what it was but i i just want this little window i think our listeners will really enjoy it that was it that was it it was offensive and I changed my mind

it felt like that I'll never figure out what that was I'm not even gonna there's just no use in even trying there's no information to go off of Phil Hartman's memory possibly what's your highest patreon level because maybe we could give them a hint uh we used to have a 25 tier that's gone right no i think we

still do have it's still there okay yeah oh god i wish i could remember your name what's your your guys your consumer advocate catchphrase he he had a catchphrase when he'd be outraged about the movie. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Does anybody else see a problem with this? Yeah, $25 Patreon. Wowee. And all you get is

your name Travoltified? I'm sorry. Does anyone else see a problem with this? Maybe I'm the crazy one. Yeah, just checked checked i'm not well as long as uh they don't invent the thought police i think i'm okay but i do think it i do think it was something about phil hartman's death yeah i do yes that's what i believe it was. I'll tell you. I'll tell you guys. Okay, great. I'll tell you. I think it's funny when, like, in foxy boxing,

that they'll have, like, sexy refs, like sexy girl refs. And I thought it would be such a funny detail when you walk into this absurd room. The refs aren't even just ordinary refs they're like foxy boxing foxy boxing refs okay who would be wearing shorts but you sort of did ask so he is actually he's he's he was walking matt to the concept so if he had said they were in shorts he could have said like wait a minute are these foxy box yes yes and. If he said shorts, then you could, if he said pants, you could say, well, then.

If he says pants, just bail on it. Just hit the ejector button. Like we never should have been in this territory. But if he says shorts, he's complicit. And you've now built together this idea of Foxy boxing. And then you can say, well, in that case, perhaps they were in doubt with certain. It seems like it wasn't top of mind then too,

where you like you built it from the shorts it was bad it was bad and uh also yeah the reason i i thought dennis miller throwing nora dunn out a window was problematic that it seemed misogynistic and so to have the foxy boxing remark right on the heels of that right on top of this is a pattern of behavior yeah so that we need to address you know what the foxy boxing refs say though at the match right what letterbox yeah yeah can we put that dead center in the episode? Am I the only one seeing crazy things?

What is it? This is good. Have I been wronged in some way? Corley can't pull the catchphrase, but he's making so much better shit. Is this a Twilight Zone day? Oh, I love it when somebody, when you come into a weird situation,

you walk into a room and the windows open and people don't know why they go, uh-oh, nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee. Very funny. I go, is that door the way out from the upside down? That's true. The kids do, instead of the nee, nee, nee, nee, they do the upside down music. Twilight Zone is no longer it, chief.

It is the upside down now. Oh, well, am I in the Twilight Zone then? Yeah, nee, nee, it, chief. It is the upside down now. Oh, well, am I in the Twilight Zone then? Yeah. Nee, nee, nee, nee. Back at them. Right back at them. When Stranger Things is more popular than the Twilight Zone with kids?

Nee, nee, nee, nee, nee, nee, nee. That's the real Twilight Zone. And you might be a redneck. Wow, that as well. Oh, boy. Wow. And in the Twilight Zone, they say, where's your sign? Where's your sign?

Very creepy. Well, as a self-proclaimed Hufflepuff, I do need to sort of remove myself from this conversation i'm very conflict averse so i know you guys are doing all these kind of pop culture references and getting in this big pissing contest but uh we hufflepuffs this house we don't really get into all that but you answered that poll so the result would be hufflepuff. Yeah, and you tried a lot of times. Numerous times. Yeah. And as a proud member of Humblebrag,

I would like to say that I had to make up a lot of jokes. It's true. Did I do that? Okay. It's true. Did I do that? Okay. Guys, let's just give Matt some space.

He's feeling a little pent up. Let me work. And he's clear of the paint. Let me work. All right. Can I have a teaspoon or is it too much to ask? Who's in my house? Intruder alert!

Hollywood handbook. Okay, so I do just have to say we are coming after a cut and I just want to So you probably felt the cut that just happened. We're coming back from a cut and this is really on us as hosts. We are supposed to protect our guests and as they start to indulge some of their worst instincts and we will be cutting that but it was such a joy to watch matt

build up momentum just be rolling downhill with these voices and accidentally say something problematic when you're rolling downhill it's not uncommon to roll directly into a brick wall and we you know we teased this foxy boxing stuff out of paul and it was paul paul planted the seed for this stuff well that's why i think we should have uh kept gorley's foxy boxing refs in the fact that you guys argued to cut it, I had already said it. Why did it matter if Gorley said it again? Whatever.

We're not going to have the argument again. His face when he said it, though. That was really good. That was a classic cut. A classic cut for the Pantheon. They'll be watching it on video and they'll watch the first two. Let's do it, Kevin.

You see him breathe in and then we cut. After that, then we cut back. Sorry to make work for you, Kevin. This is going to be... This will be studied. They're going to make a movie where Kevin Costner is in a courtroom

slowing down the video. One day they will be able to figure it out. They'll be able to track the bouncing of every atom in the screen. They'll be able to actually play the clip forward from exactly what was happening. Take me off grid mode. Put me into speaker view. It's right there.

His guitar moved. They're not going to have to do that. One of you rats is going to squeal. I know it. For $25, that's my price. You better watch your back. That's my price it's been you better watch your back that's all i'm saying you better watch your back i know where you at least i know what the rooms look like where you live you know exactly where i live 919 monster wingus avenue the only uh rat i'm interested in meeting the god darn pizza rat

was that the funniest he's carrying that big slice and like a true new yorker right i mean right when you're when you live there you understand yeah you got to wait in line for two hours to get your slice that's what they say i'm not gonna eat so easily dropping my slice the slices are so precious and the rat i could really relate i never thought i'd relate to a rat that much but i really was like watching myself when I was in New York carrying the pizza slice. Oh, I could relate to a rat. I've seen Breaking Bad. Walter just...

He gets out of hand sometimes. Is that your cat, Sean? Yeah, my cat's getting mad. I don't think he's getting mad. I think he's getting rad. Oh, okay. Wow. Adam Scott's production company yep so uh yeah so um yeah royal gets pretty upset when people go after heisenberg he says i'm a total heisenberg uh he says that you know the who everyone should be mad at is Anna Gunn's character, Skyler,

who was the total fun police on that show. Oh, I hate Skyler. You hate both. I hate Walter, but I hate Skyler more. Really? I hate Walter Jr. I hate Walter because he's a worm, and I hate Skyler because she keeps him from being a worm. Yeah, and she was the one that made him do that stuff basically

by being so stupid. Yeah. And by the way, she broke her marital vows. Yes. How do you feel about Jesse Pinkman? Bitch. Yes. Do you recall he would say this?

Pizza rat, how do you feel about the pizza on the roof? Oh, yeah. Imagine pizza rat comes in and scurries the pizza away. Louis C.K. is eating at the beginning of Louie. He eats the pizza. Pizza rat comes in. He missed an opportunity with the opening credits for Louie

to have a pizza rat cameo. From what I hear, he's never missed an opportunity. That's why I don't watch the show anymore. Sorry, Matt. I stepped on the... That's all right. Let's go again. From what I hear, he never misses an opportunity.

Sorry, did I clap late? That's all right. Am I being bonkers? That's your guy. That's your CNBC guy. Am I being bonkers? Am I being bonkers? So let's just do a little of am I being bonkers.

Let's not get into the same territory as we did last time that might take us home yeah yeah we'll just get out on just like a few beats of am i being bonkers i'm here at this licorice pizza video rental and music sales store let's just take a look at what some of the kids in the store are seeing on these vhs covers hot tub time machine am i being bonkers oh wouldn't you know it there's a sequel not the same actors all around am i being bonkers ah my mind is a rubik's cube i love the the clark duke wasn't didn't return he's the only good thing the closest thing they got was that duke duke clark he replaced they accidentally it's like a wrong missy scenario. They accidentally texted Duke Clark.

Yes, I'll be in Hot Tub Time Machine 2. Now that's a movie I can get behind. So obviously we're coming back from a cut. Matt, I didn't know some of those words, but. Well, let's honor the lull as we did right before we started. I feel like everybody's out of steam. Goodbye. Hollywood Handbook. This week on the Patreon,

Carl and Ahsan discuss splitting the check, the boys read the fans' episode ideas, and the Flager ones are talking to Joe Mandy. Check out these bonus podcasts and videos of the full episodes, including today's with Corley and Rust, at patreon.com slash theflagrines. Hollywood Handbook.

That was a HeadGum Podcast.