Hollywood Handbook - Paul Rust, Our Hat Pack Friend

Episode Date: August 15, 2023

The Boys talk to PAUL RUST about joining the Hat Pack. Get your Hat Pack hat here!See Hollywood Handbook live and live-streaming in LA with special guest Claudia O’Doherty August 29th! Tickets available here.Watch the video of today’s episode with Paul at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. You want me to put my arms around you? Yeah, just put them around my head. Yeah, okay. Let me get the camera facing the right direction. My finger's in the way. Let's get one more. I love my hat. I feel like myself, but also better connected to everyone else in a really exciting way where like I'm an individual for some reason I think the one with my finger is better

yeah I was not expecting street wear to be able to like have such an effect on me as this hat does all the streetwear i've ever tried is like yes it looks good but is it like affecting sort of the way i look at the world and the way the world looks at me as much as this hat um that does officially induct me into the hat pack uh

feels for me well and coming at such a pivotal time in my life too exactly when i needed it well and during uh you know ostensibly the fourth turning as well paul are you familiar with the concept of the fourth turning no well you're not going to learn about it here uh so you have the hat on do you want to talk a little bit paul rust is here he's got the hat pat cat can i be a part of the selfie yeah so do we want to do a selfie with all three of us yeah let's do one with all three of us okay let's get all three of us i'm gonna move the mic all the way out of the way and then kevin you could just tell people if I say anything. Okay. Not since Ellen hosted the Oscars has there been such a star-powered selfie.

And we should talk about when you post to IG and you're wearing the hat and stuff, I almost feel like don't mention the hat. But mention it in a comment. Oh my god. I felt really embarrassed while we were doing that. But mention it in a comment.

I got excited, but then once it started, I felt a little embarrassed. I'm going to send this one to my wife as well. Wait for someone to say, what hat is that? And then you say, it's from the hat pack. You have to be a member of the hat pack first, which you do by buying the hat. So as soon as you buy the hat, you are a member. But you have to be a member first. I might even dangle do by buying the hat sorry as soon as you buy the hat you are a member but i might even dangle uh if they say what are you guys are wearing on the just uh a comment that says oh these oh these yeah and then wait for them to be like yes yeah yes that's you're wearing a picture oh these are the so i got a i just got a uh

response from my wife to the me and you okay selfie sorry paul to read this in front of you this is super romantic wow that's nice she didn't say that about the next one hasn't had time you know hasn't had time next one she said friend zoned brutal brutal so the hat packs is on sale is that true it will be when this episode drops okay well the episode is

dropping like a rocket I have worn it and i wear it in a into a restaurant the other day two people i know i see at the restaurant what do you think both of them said that hat new hat that had new hat oh this two people new hat yeah what did i say oh these you pluralized it oh oh these hat oh oh you mean these? And when is this episode coming out? Because it's important for... 12 hours. Okay, great.

So by the time you need to open a store, you need to start a small business in the next 12 hours. That's right. Okay, we don't have a lot of time to edit, Paul. Distribution. I just have to let Paul know, this one's going out. I know usually we give have a lot of time to edit, Paul. Distribution. I just have to let Paul know. This one's going out. I know usually we give Paul a lot of lead time,

and there's a lot of sweetening that is done on his episodes. I'll listen, give my notes, you'll send it back. Notes pass, notes pass, trust the process. That's something that Paul likes to tell us. Yeah, and I know you guys have your thing, but I think there's an alchemy with Paul. You want to re-record a lot of your stuff. There's a lot of ADR

in your episodes. I think we figured out the room tone issue, though. Hardly any of the listeners previously have ever remarked on. I think I was a little closer to the mic when we recorded some stuff, so some of the punchlines got louder.

Yeah. When we record, Mike. Well, it's just hard because you, I mean, even before we did this, we obviously have video set up in here. And you had requested that Casey also put a camera over your shoulder. In case we want to do any dialogue. And get Sean reacting so can yeah be off you to get the yeah punch lines which were very loud it almost felt like we didn't calibrate your

reactions enough for how loud they were you know what i mean that you should almost be putting your fingers in your ears for the next one no yeah i well i should be just sort of doing this like really pained like my head is going to explode from the volume thing well it didn't help that i had that uh heater cranked in the room that hurt i would go beyond it didn't help it hurt a lot it hurt yeah it really hurt that the heater was cranked up well hurt audio hurt audio it didn't help. It hurt a lot. It hurt. Yeah, it really hurt that the heater was cranked up. Hurt audio. Hurt audio. It's true.

Yeah. Yeah, it hurt the audio. And I burned myself on the heater a few times. And it started a fire. Well, if this is coming out in the next 12 hours i'm almost like do we even do it i'm almost are you like are we even gonna fucking do it i mean it's coming out i mean it's coming out in 12 hours like should we even just like we just do the next one instead

just like hold up shop like It's really just the title that's necessary, right? The title of the episode. Yeah, I mean, we have that. Right. Right?

And so, I'm almost like, are people in a situation right now where within the next 12 hours they're going to need this episode?

Like, probably not. It's good to be prepared, though, in case they did for the next one. We could put up to be prepared, though, in case they did it for the next one. We could put up some sort of, like, poles and then put the hats on the poles and just leave the equipment running if we feel like we're spirit. We do need to put, yeah, the hats. I almost forgot that we are going to have to sell the hats, and I don't want to.

forgot that we are gonna have to sell the hats and i don't want to i yeah i'm worried about the hats being on poles is like enough of a pitch for people i guess it would be sick if people put their put the hat on a pole in their yard well there's so many there are so many this is a hat pack house yes a lot of people have so many more poles than they do heads. Right. Yes. You only need one hat for your head. But anybody with a fence. Yes.

Multiple heads. Dozens of hats. Make a fence. And it almost is like someone could be standing on the other side and you're just seeing the hat. And so don't try to come in here because there's all these people that are all in the hat pack on the other side seeing the hat. And so don't try to come in here because there's all those people that are all in the hat pack on the other side of the fence.

Oh, there's a meeting of the hat pack happening in there. Can you imagine a more twisted visual than a white picket fence? Yes. And on each spike is a head. It's lynching. Is there anything different than the suburbs and yeah this is our old battles yes it's exactly the same thing as our old battles it is this is going to a place there's no

difference between the suburbs and our old no it's the new it's the new castle ground yes isn't it yes and the um sidewalk is the moat yes and the alligators are these dogs yes people just walk around yes you fucking look outside if people just have these dogs sharp teeth and they're just carrying them around yeah like because i am the lord riding up i am the lord of this manor and i need my hound to keep it safe. No, and it reminds me of the old battlegrounds. And it's the castle location of our society. It's not a community anymore. It's these fences.

It's the door to the house is the draw bridge that has to be let down for someone to be invited in i've gone to houses with actual draw bridges now it's messed up he's gone to houses with draw bridges now and we've got these um couches right in the living room this is your throne right everyone come honor me at my throne i mean i've been to houses now that have actual chairs in them like literal legs literal chairs and the hat back hat it's like it's crazy that it's already becoming the new king's crown yes no that has surprised me how quickly that happened yes that the king's crown is now a hat pack hat it's how you let people know that you are of noble bearing that you are of import

in society i want to talk a little bit about infinite and finite games if we could right because i think we're raised in a world now of finite game structure yeah there's the beginning and an end to each contest and there is uh some quantification of a winner and a loser and we try to apply these structures yes to the infinite games that we're engaged in uh uh business i want to win at business yeah what you can't that's infinite right i'm number one we haven't clarified the rules on this so don't apply the same finite i want to win at for hayes uh having marriage having sex, right? World's best lover. You see aprons. You can't. Right. And it's coupled

with the scarcity mindset. There will be a winner and a loser. There will be enough. There will be not enough. And so we cannot keep doing this. And what's really amazing, Paul, is any game you'll find that is actually worth playing in this life is infinite.

Business, having sex, sleep, right? Food. Video games. Video games, jumping, trying to jump high all this stuff is running around there's no soup you know certain kinds of soup different kinds of how is that i just don't understand and i'm open to it i'm open to it i'm it. I just, right now I'm not understanding how that's games. Like at all, like in the way that like business having sex,

like jumping. You said finite. Well, the point, you know, the point of the game is to stay in the game, stay in business. Yes.

The point of soup is not to stay in soup. You said food. So I just, I thought, well, yeah, I meant like growing it. Yeah. yes the point of soup is not to stay in soup you said food so i just i thought well yeah i meant like growing it yeah you grow food to put in soup straight up does not no i don't you just fully i thought this has come up you don't know whether you grow food for your soups and that's i i think i unconscious yeah it would be fine if i did like if someone's listening and you do yeah fully go off king yeah like that's fine with me and you do like you do

do it of course i do it of course i do it but like that's not what i do do you think this is the crown of a king i mean this is the news to be yeah someone's working pretty hard to change that good golly for one blessed moment good golly and we have to show solidarity we have to stop we have to we're on strike we're on strike we're on strike we're on strike maybe in solidarity we could um we let's wear it rakishly off to the side of her head. I think that's how a king really shows that he doesn't give a shit. That's very casual. Like a goblet

here. He's like... The sort of lion. The Robin Hood sort of lion. The crown is just over one ear. The animated. We are in solidarity.

Yeah, but I just, let's go after each other after we're done eating the studio's entire lunch. Yeah. But are you sort of finding,

because everyone is like, I keep hearing like, oh, the meetings are going really well and I'm sort of like, do we have to? I actually don't want it to end.

I like wearing my slap hair up. I'm actually having so much fun. Do we have to? Because as soon as it's going to be like, come back, work on my project with me. People will want me to work on their project. People will not want me to be in the studio so much. Yes.

I've really found my home in the studio during all this. The paints? Oh. Acrylic? Paul, it is to me art. It is painting. Oh, studio audio. audio old battles yeah hurt old battles right the chilling image of heads on a fence and this is twisted this gets into your thing i mean

you see you know you talk about this scary stuff, these scary movies, right? Oh, our modern fables. Yes. Okay, yeah, sorry. Yeah, you didn't understand at first when you said scary movies. Yeah, I said scary movies. Yeah. Yeah, no, that's sort of childish way to think about it.

As our modern fables. Yeah. Right. Or our modern Grimm's. Our current day mythology. Right, modern Grimm's. Modern Grimm's, yes. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Or our modern. Our current day mythology. Right. Modern Grimm's. Modern Grimm's.

Yes. And it is Grimm. The bogeyman. Mm-hmm. The dream smuggler. Mm-hmm. Talk about. What are the greatest monsters?

Okay. He's got. He's sneaking dreams. And now what. Yeah. Bloody Carrie. he's sneaking dreams. And now what? Bloody Carrie. The smuggling aspect, I guess, what, like, to what extent is there a border, I guess, that you're not supposed to bring a dream over? You can't have the dream in like one place or another or they have to check it or something?

There's like prohibition on dreams. Yeah. I mean, we all have our own boundaries, our own fences, even in here. You know, guys,

there's some thoughts we have in here that we'll never tell anyone we know. Yeah, can you put the hat back on, please? Thank you. I just don't want people

to be like... I don't want people to screen grab that one image and go, this was the episode. Or that he had to take that, that the hat was like causing some kind of problem for him you can express

it did not pop off it got hot and popped off it doesn't get hot it doesn't get hot it doesn't get hot it keeps you cool it actually has a screen door in the back that allows the air to pass through

it was the mic it was the mic and then the mic went down the air to pass through it got hot it popped off it was the mic and the mic went down the mic the headgear mic is malfunctioning again yes a little warm now it's ice cold this is it's not cold it's the perfect temperature the mic works you guys like i thought we got paul russ to be a guest, not Mr. Bean. And it's true. We didn't get Mr. Bean, but we would love to have him. Oh, if you guys got Rowan on the show. It would... Atkinson.

Okay, yes. I call him Rowan. Okay. I would have trouble keeping my shit together uh to even it's just like to be in the presence of his fumbling i would i'd have i'd have trouble getting here yeah i wouldn't even be able to oh you could get the car and driving here would be basically impossible if erwin were here finding like where's the studio like what time is the show like all that stuff would just be like no i can just imagine

even just scheduling with him would probably be just a series of yeah mishaps he sends back a reply in his heads in a turkey. This is the reply? Yeah, instead of like send from my iPad or whatever, it says send from my head in a turkey. Why do you do that? But it's also in keeping with what we've seen is his head does get stuck in a turkey. Yes, oh yeah. And he'd have to come to America again But it's also, it's in keeping with what we've seen is his head does get stuck. Yes.

Oh, yeah. And he'd have to come to America again. And after everything like he did last time he came to America, I don't think anyone is really like enthusiastic about like, let's run that back. You know what I mean? After how much went wrong. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, I think we're, I think. Yeah. I think we're good. Yeah, I mean, there were accidents on set with the American version of the Bean movie, right? There was, I think, death. Yeah, a lot of serious injuries and death. Still, court cases about... Still, I think Rowan Atkinson has to go... Atkinson!

The courtroom. Next year. Next year, yes. still like i think rowan atkinson has to go back into the courtroom next year next year there's a bench more there's a bench warrant for rowan atkinson the second he sets foot on american soil he will be um apprehended and renditioned uh so so it's instead of putting this i mean it feels crazy to me but I guess making comfortable instead of putting like a black hood on his head they are gonna put a turkey on his yeah no in a way it's a kindness yeah and zip tie instead of like a zip tie handcuffs they're just

gonna like send him a sweater that his that his aunties gave him that has like a really long turtleneck and just be like put this on just knowing that he is going to end up fully subdued like the sleeves are are too long no it's gonna be it's gonna be an entire episode basically of his life that because you kind of find that like somehow if you put handcuffs on him he will

like accidentally like get out of them and then like tap you on the shoulder and like hand them to you it'll be funny yeah and i guess for lunch like they're gonna actually bring um a jar of live sardines yes uh that he then sort of listens to to see if they're alive and then he's gonna whack them against his knee a bunch of times and then listen to them and then he whacks them against his own knee and lays them onto a sandwich

and there'll be I guess someone on the same bench as him at the same time sort of looking over what's going on with this guy are they fond of it? what he's doing? i haven't spoken to them but uh yeah i i don't think so i worry about their safety and his safety if they're filming it i worry about the safety of me reenacting it later if i hit my hand against a counter kind of showing what he was doing and then like hurt my hand when i watch

tell a funny story about the safety of my ribs bean did hurt hurt hand hurt hand oh sure it's true hurt hand hurt hand be a better you in 2024 with babble the science-backed language learning app that actually works don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language. And the question that I always get, people stop me and they say, like, hey, I trust you. I know, like, when you endorse a product, it's something that you really use and care about. But there's one language that I'm trying to learn, and that's body language. Can Babbel teach me body language? Yes.

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Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys. That's rocketmoney.com slash the boys. Rocketmoney.com slash the boys. What's the fourth turning? History occurs in certain patterns, right? We've talked about the hat pack. Every 20 years, society is ready for a new pack. Rat pack.

Rat pack. Frat pack. You're now a part of the hat pack, at least temporarily. And similarly, hat pack you know you're now a part of the hat pack at least temporarily and so cool similarly this is the fourth pack that i mentioned right so we are in the fourth turning and and in 20 year intervals history sort of begins a new phase. And if you look every 80 years or so. We have to go back from Lost. Mm-hmm. We have to go back.

We will do the rat. After the hat pack is over, we will do the rat pack again. No, there will be a new rat pack. Can't you already sort of feel it? You see people walking down the street, zippity-doo. Right? Yeah, I walked by. they just reopened the brown derby yeah people yeah i was walking outside a woman's body came flying out to the front door doing a twirl because a man did some sort of dance spun her like a top. But she came out sort of like a top. She wound

back in the club. She came all the way back. She's spinning so fast. Yeah, she ended up back in the club. And that's part of the transition. They have a restaurant. No, hang on. A top can do that. I'm saying exactly. A top could do that. No, you didn't say exactly. You said sort of like a top.

And then you clarified how what you saw was different from a top. Well, it is sort of. I mean, a top doesn't have like big bongos. And then you said exactly. Well, is it sort of or is it exactly? Oh, you're saying it's not like a top because sometimes. Maybe I should have said sometimes or often. Okay.

What Paul is talking about is some of the anatomical differences between this young lady he saw and a child's top. They don't think they would sell it

at the little kid's toy store. A top, you know, ironically, a top is kind of bottom heavy. Yes.

And it sounds like what Paul was seeing was a little bit of the opposite so excuse me top may i take your hand may i squire you top around the town it's it's you know it's castle time but so why like let's think about that like you know let's actually look back at history and say like okay it's the Rat Pack and they're going to a restaurant. What does the restaurant look like?

A hat. What came before that? There was the Hat Pack era prior to that. We weren't photographing or recording the world in the same way. I don't think it'll cycle through. You guys familiar with Pomo? The thing called postmodernism, guys. It all crunches in on itself.

So we're going to have a little taste of the Rat Pack here. Postmodernism. What's right next to that? Postmodernism was invented by the Frat Pack. The Frat Pack created it, and it will occur again. Okay. We will go back to postmodernism again. It has to be rejected to be renewed in that way

like and i think we're we are seeing the rejection of modernity in this like in this moment and a desire to go back to when there were these guys going up i could be hey there guy get your hand what's up with your skirt baby can i yeah get another piece of steak meat i'm gonna pour a drink oops spilled yeah oops just spilled whatever we don't just snap the whole thing today you can't snap your Oops, just spilled. Oops, just spilled.

Whatever, we don't have to figure out the whole thing today. You can't snap your fingers and hold a bottle in for a drink. You just cannot do it. You are going to spill. Just stop snapping. Buddy! A lot of times your fingers are all wet from holding a glass or a bottle, so the snap wouldn't be a dry snap.

It'd be all damp. Damp snap. Talk about dry snaps for a little bit, because that is something you said you wanted to cover on today's episode. Oh, like when Ben Stein does put-down comedy? Mm-hmm. Dry snaps? Mm-hmm. it seems as if

your mother is so overweight so that could actually so like that you'd never be able to win my money and we are in this like place now it's so funny we're like any time that they're like paying us to be creative and they're like show up to work and

like come up with this stuff it's like now that they're asking they're telling us not to do it it's like okay i'm having the best ideas i've ever had yeah i'm having the best ideas i've ever had ben stein ben doing like you've ever had Ben Stein saying stuff about mother I wish I was at a laptop right now and I could just put that out this would be on TV this would be on TV and it would be the highest rated show in the world

do this in a way that's like here's your contract everyone be making fucking money if we were putting the Ben Stein Patricia Heaton and she says your car money everyone be making fucking money if we were putting the benstein your patricia heaton's i don't know patricia patricia he's on screen and she says example snaps right like uh oh what ben stein yes is insulting people now but then of course yeah like as soon as cheryl hines goes like uh great i love it great larry i love it. Great, Larry, I love it. Yeah. But as soon as we're back in the system,

like as soon as we sign the contract, then they're instantly like, he's talking about people being fat too much. It's like, okay, well, these are snaps. He said overweight, yeah. Well, I mean, that's what they're saying. That's what they're saying. No, I understand.

No, they're saying insane stuff that stifles, that suffocates creativity. And when they actually say you're not allowed to do it anymore, the ideas that we have, Ben Stein making a joke about someone's mother, Patricia Heaton setting that up, stuff that would make real money for the industry. Patricia Heaton setting that up. Stuff that would make real money for the industry. We can't stop it. The flow is

you can't it's huge. So big. And it's why I almost don't want to go back. I almost don't want to be over i don't know yeah i almost want to stay like this i'm having yes i don't want to be in demand too much fun by myself i know yeah it's like it when it becomes a job again when it's not just me and my friends uh literally saying the funniest shit that has ever been said,

like Ben Stein stuff, all this stuff. I like it now. No, I know. It's a thrill. Well, and how crazy is a writer's room, right? Because you got a bunch of lunatics. Oh, my God. And you're saying to a bunch of lunatics, okay, come to the asylum.

Yes. At precisely this hour. Oh, that's going to work out. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah. Tell the lunatics the luck time. asylum yes at precisely this hour oh that's gonna work out yeah perfect yeah okay champ let's see how that one goes for you yeah yeah okay jan good luck champ i i think that you're gonna have a lot of they're so fucking stupid good luck did you say you said champ i said jan jan i but that's but these are what the lunatics do i said cham cham lunatics do it but to be able to like work on our own projects to be able to like and asylum would have a set schedule to be able to take stuff out it would need to

to be able to like work work our shit out you know what i mean without like having to like go through the fucking and also there's gonna be a creative explosion when it is i'll say i know you don't want it to end the first probably hundred days following the announcement at the end will be a creative explosion because the pressure that has built up in this town and you feel it, man. It's sizzling. Unlike any in all history. Very emblematic of the fourth turning. Yes.

I mean, the hat pack will be remembered as the most creative generation. This will be the symbol. This will be the symbol. Yes. When people are looking at the work that's coming out 20 years from now, they'll say, oh, I should get this one. This is where it started.

You can show it just like this. Everyone can see it. Just leaving it on is actually and not putting your hand on it and definitely not doing the finger and then putting your hand on it and definitely not doing the finger and then putting your hand on it. You can see it now.

Just actually not touching it. Just don't touch it. Is... I'm going to check if my wife ever responded to this picture with Paul as well. No. The rates are crazy right now. They're like the text.

I think she saw the shame in my eyes. Maybe that was unappealing. You did something weird. I felt embarrassed. I told you that. But I understand what shifted, you know. You asked to be in it. That's why I think it felt embarrassing once I was in there.

You shouldn't have had that. i was like i asked shouldn't have had that i was asked to be here i thought i thought i had it had occurred to me that i get all three of us and i did well it's also in the period where i didn't know if you guys were doing there's the two of you and i didn't want to yeah it's only really your third fucking time on the show like and you're like oh yeah sorry i didn't know what was happening i guess maybe by the like the 50th time like how many times yeah when you're like yeah when will you be ready to do the show without it being a tremendous burden on me okay i know we scheduled like the hour after we're done recording to go and do a

review of the show right and we did just table it the show. We do have to be in solidarity. Just remember that. Just to show the show of strength to the studios right now. I don't think it's helpful to keep saying you don't want it to end. I understand. I know.

It's so bad. It's so bad, but I love being at home. Maybe that is actually a powerful position to be like, we like it. I love making my recipes. Have you said sweatpants before? I want to be in my

sweatpants. I do. I love wearing my sweatpants with no underwear. I want them backwards with the drawstring in back. Yeah, tiny shorts. I do cut off. I cut them into really short shorts, my sweatpants. I love my sweatpants.

They've worn and become very sheer in my area. Holes in them, and there's a lot of, yeah. I've been painting my shirts on. You remember when Demi famously painted her body on the cover of Vanity Fair? She's going through a lot right now, so I would maybe not... Pull back a little bit.

I was going pretty hard. I would maybe just not go so hard. Don't remember her magazine covers when there's actually a lot going on. Just talk about it. Just be like, I'm doing this. We don't need

to break her. We don't need a reference point necessarily, especially when he's going through something at a time when remembering her magazine covers could be pretty traumatizing. I'm definitely not doing a magazine cover of me pregnant like her. How outrageous was that?

Paul. When I'm in the supermarket, I don't want to see that at the checkout line. I understand where you're coming from and I agree with you, but that's a start. This is like the next thing that I know you're going to be remembering the

verse that opera man did about her when she was paid 12 million dollars for her next movie 4 million for acting 4 million for each boobie like i i just cannot have you reciting opera man's lyrics like that because it is just not it's a time for solidarity yes right and it's like and and we're in this together right sag did you call that actually did she actually get big like that's insane that's crazy it's for each one somehow opera man even today opera man i guess had actually seen like at least a red line of the contract can i just can i just say like again like yes it was kind of weird that he said that but it does show like how the business has changed right since then imagine someone getting that kind of deal

today no i know no this is what we're on strike for and especially why we yes the idea of getting like that kind of deal is like totally untenable to like it like it would just never have it's not even part of the conversation they've strangled you know the flow of of of cash yeah they've really they've separated the worker from the means of production and so uh it can't happen now it's unsustainable because with theatrical windows and all these things that have just been totally destroyed by bad actors right uh and i'm not talking of course about the actors on screen. Oh, cut that, Kevin.

I fucking can't believe I said that. I broke when you said it. I laughed. No, I made me laugh too. Did you hear Paul break? Yeah. Paul broke. He was trying to keep a straight face. Keep that because that'll be fun.

Cut what Sean was saying, but keep Paul. keep Paul laughing and just put it somewhere else. Yeah. Yeah. A good screen grab. I'd be like, I'm like, that could be a really good screen grab. Yeah. And he's got that. Because our screen grabs have been dog shit lately.

No, they suck. Like the way he's choosing for a screen grab is like. No, it makes me throw up. I'm kind of like reaching for my nose with my finger. It's not even just like... At that point, I'd rather you just show me just like full on shoving my finger up my nose. Yeah.

Like rather just be like, is he going to do it or isn't he? Like just show that, you know? And that's where we're at with how bad the screen grabs are. Well, and then there's those sick twists who would love it, you know, who would love seeing one of their favorite performers, entertainers, podcast hosts. They'd go, oh, were you not aware?

That's my kink. No, it's true. There's perverts out there who want to see Hayes hunting for nose goblins. Hunting for nose goblins. They probably can't get fit. Even though that, like, it does make me sick to do. And so, like, you pressuring me to, like, do that over and over again for your sexual satisfaction. I'm like, you're not understanding that it does.

I do get germs in there when I do that. Oh,'s people are messed up for like i can't wash my hand like your hands are filthy yeah my hands are dirty and when i put them in there i get sick because there's germs on them yeah you touch a lot of stuff you just i mean look i'm touching the mic with both hands right now i'm gripping like because i mean the mic think about who uses the mic yes when we're not in this room yeah like really think about it they let anyone use the mic what do you think casey does when we leave cleans the mics yeah well that's what he calls it i don't know how clean that thing is but yeah oh but yeah you're saying like um it's kind of like the the laptop um hunter biden's laptop yeah from the biden crime family yeah don't get me started though yeah the but the you know a lot of coffee places nowadays they'll have the computer that you can go over to check your e-reel. Yes.

Like a cyber bar. Yes, exactly. They say that you shouldn't put your fingers on those cyber bar computers because you think about all the people. It's like you said. No. It's like you said. What was I saying? Yeah.

Yeah. I was talking about LAN parties. Yes. about land parties yes like i was talking a lot about land parties and how they can um be a lot of fun but because of all the shared laptops that like the cyber bars and stuff what's a land party land lan land party oh i know we're not allowed to talk about this but just like the fact that if you're the president's son you can go into a coffee shop sit at the public computer take your shirt off and like do drugs and like we're all just supposed to feel like that's and do you take a you use the computer to take a picture everyone else is waiting to use the computer yep but it's

like oh no it's okay like my daddy's the president so i'm allowed to do that oh i went into the bourgeois pig last week and i couldn't get through the door in there yes i'm not gonna say but it was the child of a president yeah yeah with a huge just some apparatus some drug-taking apparatus yeah burning one end yes pushing yeah look like a didgeridoo or something yeah but it's, but different. Hot objects inside while the other side burns. Coals. Yeah. Flaming coals He looks like he's

a one man band. Like, because he is operating something with his foot as well. There's like, like some, No,

and he's got something, he's got some sort of neck harness attached and there's, and there's something Two symbols are clanging together. Yeah.

It's really, you can't even open the door. Yeah. It's really... You can't even open the door. Oh, I just had to scream through, one latte! Door slams in my face. I thought he was a busker. I started giving money because I assumed it was some sort of performance. And then I realized, oh no.

This is recreation. The load in and load out from all this stuff. But it was just a scrub they were also known but you saw a busker you said you saw a busker like well i know i said i thought it was oh i thought it was no it wasn't but he saw the same thing that we saw. It was the exact same thing. Yeah.

But he just thought it was something else. And I was actually lying. That he lied about that. And we were talking about Ron Reagan Jr., right? Yes. Who, like, otherwise, like, yeah. Otherwise, I like, except for how big his apparatus is. He just makes it so hard to get into the bushwhop pig.

Yeah. And there's enough problems with that. I'm sorry, I don't have an hour to wait for my... My macchiato. my freaking uh low soy matcha chino so what are you gonna do like what like once we're back like what do you have ready like what's like what's next for you like you can't promote i'm going back to the smurfs going back you're gonna go back to the smurfs okay but i've been um because that's just that was all percolating yeah before um i remember being being like can we just wait

a little longer before we do this thing can we let Paul do the Smurfs and then we can and now we don't want that it's so crazy

when it started I was like can we please just wait a little bit longer for Paul to finish the thing and now I'm like it's not a good time

for Paul to do the Smurfs and now I'm going like can we actually put off the Smurfs thing I'm actually I've been loving wearing off the Smurfs thing I'm actually loving wearing white sweatpants with all the

very sheer there's so much food in the pockets oh my god did I tell you I was wearing so embarrassing I was wearing

my sweatpants and I was wearing my white sweatpants okay I think I know where this is going and I was I went shopping just at Barnes & Noble

you have told me this looking for a bar yeah I get a coffee you have told me this looking for a book yeah i get a coffee you told me this a grande coffee i don't know what i was told right before we started recording and you called me yesterday and i had it on an empty stomach and i'm in the non-fiction section and i look down at my back i know the story there is blood yeah all the way down the back of my pants yes yeah yeah you said in blood yeah down my pant legs yeah i don't know what's in that coffee it's a you say an empty stomach it's like i don't know if that was related to it or if it's the coffee at all and you mentioned the non-fiction section also isn't it is there a non-fiction

barnes and noble like there's i guess there's a non-fiction section but i think you know usually it's for toys right i mean i mean i know barnes and noble are kids r us nowadays right no there's so many fucking toys there it makes me yeah it's like board games and toys and a bunch of bullshit and it's like what happened to going to a bookstore and reading a fucking book and the movies they have there here's my problem yeah exactly they've now taken three different spots that you could go put them into one you could have a Suncoast. You could have had a bookstore on its own. And then you could have gone.

You could have had a KB Toys. Hey, what about KB Toys? And now it's all become Barnes & Noble. We're just supposed to go walk around our zombies with our hands out. All day, just live there with our Barnes & Noble app open on the phone. And zap, zip, zap. Instead of brains, we say barns we're saying barns yeah instead of brains we're saying barns no we're saying barns instead we're not allowed to talk

about this we're zombies right we just need the fucking reading dead it's yeah yeah we just need to scorched earth like honestly we just need to startched or like honestly made of the walking bookstore there's no there's no coming back just erase it all just of retribution yeah strike forever and just wash away the entire planet this city's just i mean build an art country is a toilet and it just needs a big fucking flush flush the fucking toilet build an arc right yeah and make sure you bring your nose plugs because of the stench of have you guys feces and urine have you guys gone back to evan almighty i have it holds up no it's funny well it was actually like given what was what was it was trying to actually tell us what was coming.

No, it's better than any other movie. Isn't that cool when you can watch a comedy like that and it's like they had their eye on the future. Well, and at the time, if you remember at the time people said this could never happen. Yeah.

And I'm looking around and it's happening. Yeah, it happening yeah actually driving by a lot of houses where there's a lot of arcs and driveways lately yeah yeah people buying arcs interesting yeah it did happen it happened foxcatcher too it was like that they made a sequel yeah um what's it follow like the characters it's like a follow-up it's yeah it's it's different i mean it's not the there's no wrestling in it like it's not there's no wrestling in it and there's none of the the actors from the first one are gone they have pictures of them like in the guy's house the guy from other other projects they were in not from yeah not their characters from foxcatcher yeah the guy is the guy who played i like it in a movie when somebody has like a photo from

somebody and they remember him and then it was like the on set photograph of the person wearing a costume from the first movie yeah that they got a photograph of that one time yes it's a frame from from the movie yes that's really powerful but i yeah again i haven't seen it i don't you know i don't know but the guy in it is the guy who played Johnny Cage in the first Mortal Kombat movie. No, really? He's strong. Yeah, he's really strong.

He's so strong. Yeah. Hollywood Hamburg.