Hollywood Handbook - Pauly Shore, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: December 1, 2014

Are you addicted to Serial like the rest of the country? Hayes and Sean are finally talking about the wildly popular phenomenon, throwing their own spoilers and theories into the pot. Then, close personal friend Pauly Shore is in the studio to talk about all the famous people he's seen naked and the Popcorn Gallery is back to ask about Son in Law and whether Tia Carrere is still hot.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. And eventually, like half an hour, I'm like, what's going on? I get up. I check the bathroom. She's rooted through all my medicine cabinets. Everything's on the floor. She's just rooting around. Oh, great. And so I think, oh, I know what this is. She's looking for the Sudafed so she can cook that down. So I'm like, Rose, get out of my place. And she says, no, no, no.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just wanted to figure out how you smell like you do, like how you get your scent, like what's the secret. I know. That's so nice. That was nice. And it's like, Rose, you silly girl.

I just eat a bunch of flowers, you know? Yeah. You eat a fistful of flowers and it comes out of your pores. It's funny that people don't notice that because you have in your front pocket, you've got flowers sticking out and you're always sort of leaning down and munching on it. Sort of chewing the petals while whenever it's not your turn to speak in a conversation.

But I think maybe people don't make the connection to the smell because through the filtering process it doesn't smell exactly like flowers. No, that's right. It combines with your natural body to become this whole new smell that I think is better than flowers. And Rose thinks so too.

And her name is Rose. The Rose flower thing. And that was a cute thing that we did talk about. You must have laughed your butt off. And then did you pound her out? You drill her after that? I don't want to. No, no.

You don't have to tell me on the air. But then, I mean, you'd been waiting in the bedroom. I mean, did you give her the old Marilyn Manson, if you know what I mean? Those two dated. Yeah, well, that's an issue. Oh, really? Yeah, it was. I mean, obviously, we're not together anymore.

She wants you to get a couple of your ribs removed. I heard he did that so that he could S his own D. When I found out. I really heard this. When I found out that they were together, it was like, okay, so now I've kissed you and you kissed him and he S his own D. So it's like I am I kissing his D? Yeah, so that

was the end of that. Hey, welcome to Hollywood. Sorry, go ahead. No, it's okay. There just may be an even more direct route than that. To what? You think she only kissed him? Well, yeah. Because it feels like you're out of why would it's him

s-ing his d her kissing him yeah well why would he well if if she would do that no why else would he get two ribs removed to do it himself well people go on vacation people fall asleep it's a really elaborate procedure to get two ribs well i guess you know whether she would do it or not. No, she wouldn't do that. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook. It's I, this guy, the kicking butt and dropping nits. And the red carpet line back always of this industry we call showbiz. And I will always do it right and you can never make me do it wrong.

I wasn't trying to make you do it wrong. We have some interesting media to talk about today. I was trying to do like a T-Pain thing almost. Did it sound auto-tuned, Engineer Cody, when I was doing it? Did you hear T-Pain singing without auto-tune? He can really sing! That guy can really sing! People think that auto-tune is like this cheating tool

that makes it so that people who can't sing sound like they can. What they don't realize is people who can sing can use it, and it's an enhancement. I wish he would have done his songs just being a singer. Oh, I thought the same thing. Cody, did you hear that? Engineer Cody, as an engineer, did you hear it? No. Oh, okay.

And now, Cody, why did you use the soundboard and then speak into a non-functioning microphone? Am I good? What was the story behind you pushing levers on the soundboard and then speaking into your microphone and it not making any sound at all? You know, someone switched the channel strip. Channel 6 was on channel 5 and 5 was on channel 6. You can't use jargon to confuse me.

It must have been that Pauly Shore who was in here right before this. He was just in here. Yes, he was in a movie with Rose McGowan if you believe it.

Now, let's really talk about what's really going on and some people have wanted us to weigh in. Look, we're one of the top podcasts in the world

under Wolf Den but above, you know, a lot of people who are doing it independently. And so at this point, what do we feel about probably the top podcast, most downloaded of all time? And that's right. It's called Serial. And no, I'm not talking about munching on cookie crisp. I'm talking about S-E-R-I-A-L. And that's because it's a serialized series like the old shadow and the shadow nose. And Hayes, go ahead and just take it away.

Earwolf came to us and they said, listen, people are cashing in off these serial recap podcasts. Slate, AV Club, we're falling behind, guys. We need to do one of our own we want you to do what you do and recap cereal for us every other week and also they could not afford to i guess put the cereal stuff into one of their other existing podcasts because people want to hear what those podcasts normally do when they tune into those podcasts yes and so i think the idea was that our content was not just replaceable, but should be replaced with something else.

With something where we're sort of recapping cereal. And I don't know if you guys love mysteries as much as I do, but man, I got out my magnifying glass and my Sherlock hat, and I just hopped in the car and started driving and listening. Hayes, you were there. Yeah, Sean and I drove here together and we binge listened to the entire serial series.

Yes, and we circled around the Earwolf Studios a couple times in my Pontiac Bonneville. Yes, because we couldn't stop listening and plus we had to do it. Yes, that was made clear. And so finally we finish and let me tell you, we each have some real theories about what's going on with these guys.

Oh, gosh. Well, now that I've heard it, and we couldn't hear it so clearly because the two front windows are broken in my Bonneville. They've been bashed out. What's the story of that? Who bashed your windows out? Oh, well, if I knew, let me tell you something. They'd be getting themselves bashed out with a lawsuit. And we should never be violent with one another.

And I know. You just found them. They were bashed out. Here's what I know. It's just. It was. I went to get in my car. There's glass everywhere.

And on my front seat, there's a metal hamburger sandwich. Now, I don't know who left. The hamburger part is metal and the buns are normal? Or the entire thing is made of metal? The lettuce and ketchup are real. The bun is not metal, but it's also not a bun, and I found that out the hard way. The burger part, that's metal. So to me, that's a metal hamburger sandwich. Oh, yes.

And an indeterminate bun. We don't know what species it is. Yes. So I found that, and I started working backwards. Who would want to hurt me like this? Yes. So I found that, and I started working backwards. Who would want to hurt me like this? And has access to metal. And can maybe control metal.

And who can maybe control metal. I have an idea of potentially who it might be. Yeah, so you're probably thinking the same thing I am, and we'll say it at the same time. Yes, okay, one, two, three, Magneto. Oh, I thought we were doing one, two, three, go. And then saying Magneto. Okay, do you want to do it now? Mm-hmm. Okay. One, two, three. Magneto.

Magento. You said Magento. Did I? I think I was saying go. Did we not agree to do go? You did. No, you didn't say go. You said Magent. Did you say Magent go? Mm. So what you want us to do is say did no you didn't say go you said magent did you say magent go so what you want us to do is say one two three and then say magneto and then say go at the end i was thinking that would be the cleanest way to do it okay do you want to try okay

one one two three magneto go, you said Bag-nito. Oh. Where was that coming from? I got a cold, terrible cold. So anyway, the windows are smashed out. It makes it a little hard to hear the podcast. Because it's just the way they're smashed out, it's just like the top of the back windows. So it creates a very unpleasant like rippling.

It's a very unpleasant, like, rippling. It's similar to doing a huge whippet. The sound in your ears. Yes. And so what we got. To me, a huge whippet is more. Oh, mine's going. Oh, mine's going.

That's weird. I wonder which ones you you did oh well maybe there was something wrong mine were painted like grenades maybe maybe that bargnito fellow is you know messing with my whippet cans as well so so what's going on with these guys? Who is the main one who is he solving the crime or did he do it? No, he's doing jail. They put him in jail for trying to solve the mystery? No, no. The main guy's doing jail to try to find out which one of the other guys is who actually did kill the reporter. And he's on the phone. Yes. Well, he is.

And this is part of why I think, and it's so obvious if you've listened to the episodes and everyone's saying, oh, it's such a mystery. And they've got these crazy out there theories about, you know, so-and-so is a police informant or this one is, you know, protecting that one. And I'm like, actually, if you think about it, what probably did it is it probably was somebody who works for the phone. Because this guy who's doing jail always has to talk on it. Yes, and you know what's interesting?

And so they can make it say anything. You know what I found very interesting? Oh, please. They make a lot of discussion about how there's no phone outside of the Best Buy. And so if you were working for the phone, wouldn't it be good for you if people were saying, oh, there should be a phone outside of that best buy yeah and now you can say oh i work for the i work for the phone and i'll

i'll i'm happy to put a phone there you're just gonna have to pay me big bucks first yes and they know that follow the money people follow the money yes and I think that it's definitely somebody who works with a phone and they probably also. Works for the phone. Yes. Well, but do they not work with phones at that job? No, you're right. Works for and with the phone. Yeah.

So that's how we'll say it from now on. Somebody who works for and with the phone. Wouldn't they have a particularly good pitch to corrupt this J fellow who we know had to borrow other people's phones because he don't have his own phone? Yes. And by making him out to be sort of an evil anti-phone person. I just can't see how it could be anyone else but the person who works for and with the phone. And there's a big advertisement you'll notice.

They say, like, this is a call from the phone at the very beginning. Yes. And you just have to think about who's profiting. You know, at the end of this, you just have to look at who is the one who really made out to be the best at the end. One thing. Sorry, one second. Go ahead.

What is that noise? You hear that? Oh, yeah. In the headphones. Okay, so we had a little interruption there. You may have noticed for the first half of our introduction, you could sort of hear these very quiet voices over the entire record. And this is something we've kind of been experimenting with.

Yes, and it's sort of what we call subliminal laughvertising. And what we do is we get another podcast that we think is funny and other people think is funny and we maybe don't totally get and we play it along with our podcast so that hopefully some of the people who don't like us and let's face it there's a few um can start to uh kind of enjoy another show while our show's playing so we won't be such a turnoff. So what was happening is Squarbro County was playing at a very low level through our entire podcast. You may have thought that this was a mistake that Engineer Cody made. That he was just playing something. I assure you it was something deliberate that we were doing.

The idea that he could be so stupid as to be accidentally playing another podcast simultaneously over our record. Audibly during a record where his really only function is to monitor the sound quality of our show that he would be playing another one. That would be pretty crazy. So what must have happened is that we intentionally chose to have him playing Scarborough County. It was County, right? Not country. Okay.

God help you. If it was country, if it was country, we're pissed, but if not, we're happy. We love having County playing. And so,

you know, uh, this is just another thing. Also, we want more mysteries in our show. So we can be more like serial. We're learning from it. You know, which which episode was it you can't quite hear and um we're you know uh were they talking about sports so let us know what you thought about squarborough county playing during

our podcast and whether cody did a good job and did you have another serial theory? Well, yes. Quite frankly, I do. And the theory is maybe something I shouldn't say in front of Engineer C-O-D-Y. Okay. Well, maybe if you do, you do a lot of spelling. Well, I just know that Jay lives in L.A. and then somebody named Engineer C-O-T-Y also lives in L.A. And maybe the two of them are the ones that strangled that G-I-R-L and put her in the trunk of her C-A-R and buried her in the ground. And they're friends with somebody who works for and with the P-H-O-N-E.

And they did it for a free F-O-N-E that they could get themselves. So think about it. Cody, it sounded like you were really turning the volume up very high there and it sounded like you were trying to be a spire okay not S-P-I-R-E-O wait I don't understand this I don't know what's going on anyway so

and I've been ear muffing we have a ear muffing ooh great old school reference let's stop it down Vince Vaughn's heyday brother We have a tight old school reference. Tight old school reference. Let's stop it down. Vince Vaughn's heyday, brother. And Cody went ahead and reached right into the fucking old school reference.

Bring your green hat. We're going streaking, baby. And you're my boy blue. I can do it for days. It hits your lips, baby. Let's go back and forth. Craig Kilborn. Want some other stuff the fat guy

what else do you like about that movie you're crazy oh yeah go ahead Code what else hello darkness

my old friend I've come to talk with you again what is this because it's the scene when he falls into the pool and then starts playing oh yeah that's right i remember that that's really funny oh well now this is a funny song okay i thought for a second it was just a ridiculous thing you're doing but that is very funny um we have a great guest today. Pauly Shore is here. Did Engineer Cody save this episode of our show?

I think from top to bottom. I mean, I think we've been recording maybe one of the worst, most dysfunctional episodes we've ever made. The entire intro bit is completely insular. You literally can't enjoy it at all if you haven't heard Serial. It's totally scattershot. And the guest interview was problematic. And Cody, at every step of the way, has been doing some of the best, funniest stuff.

And I think in trying to destroy the show he's accidentally has saved it I think it was all good before okay well maybe you're right it's all good we have a great guest today Pauly Shore is here coming right up on Hollywood Handbook so I'm talking to Giselle

and I say where are you from? And she says, you know, Rio de Janeiro. And I say, sweetie, you've got to change that name, because in this town, there's only one Rio. And that's Rio, too. The birds. The birds. Eisenberg. Eisenberg.

Yes. I mean, just the Eisenberg. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook, the insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet lineback hallways of this industry we call showbiz. What up, what up? We have a corker of a guest today. We're so happy to have him.

This guy's been doing it for a long time. Pauly Shore is here. See, the thing is, I might not understand. See, it's been a long time since I've done anything in the business. Right. You know, I've been like, I've been away. You've been working the fringe. I've been away. See, it's been a long time since I've done anything in the business. Right. Because I've been away. You've been working the fringe. I've been away.

You know what I mean? I've been away. So I might not get some of your references. So bear with me. Oh, no. You know what I mean? You just got to follow. It's like a new generation.

You guys are tweeting and Facebooking and Instagramming and all that shit. Yeah. Did you not see Rio 2? No. I didn't even know there was. Was that a movie with the birds, you said? I wonder what we'll talk about. Yes, yes, it had birds.

I guess that's one way to put it. That was going to be the bulk of the interview. It was just sort of dissecting Rio 2. That's why I was saying when my publicist asked me to do your show, I thought like, you know, usually I accept everything. You know what I mean? And then this one came about, and I didn't really understand what it was. And now that I'm here, I really don't understand what it is.

It makes you a little scared. Yeah, no, but I want to stay here. I want to hang in there. I don't want to leave. But I just want to be able to contribute to the show. Okay. Well, let's talk about where you've been, Pauly. Well, I've been performing for the people. Okay.

The crevices of America, the tertiary markets. Yes. You know, the towns that are so small, they just opened up Panera Bread, those type of towns. You know? Yes. I mean, towns like that George Clooney, Brad Pitt fly over and shit on. Yes, we talk about those places. And then those are my fans.

Like you- The people that love Son-in-Law, you know, that film I did like 20 years ago. Yes, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. And they want you to do that- With the pigs and the apes and stuff. Andaw, you know, that film I did like 20 years ago. Yes, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. And they want you to do that. With the apes and stuff. And they want you to do that again, Pauly.

Yeah, I want to do it again, but I'm just, Dumb and Dumber didn't quite perform. We were already set for Encino Man 2, but Dumb and Dumber didn't quite perform like our expectations because I had Brendan Fraser and Sean sean asked and we were ready to go yeah and then the studio pulled the plug on encino man too which was kind of a bummer that was like my end back you know back that would have been back my end back into the business so now i'm back to the tertiary markets talk about going out to to those places like arkansas yeah and like the things you've seen there. Because you talk about Panera Bread,

and isn't that sometimes doubling as a library and a city hall in those places? Pretty much, yeah. They have their Wi-Fi set up out there, and it's a lot of business. A lot of startup companies happens in Panera Breads. You know what I mean? It's like the vest of America. It's like the vest of america it's like the heart it's like that five guys and then maybe like um maybe like a jamba juice yeah you know what i mean

and they and they're all in these kind of smaller um these smaller markets they have to say hi to you at jamba juice yeah i think that's what people like about it it doesn't feel nice to have them say hi to you and to know that they have to do that and they can't freeze you out like they might do at a... Is that a corporate entity to do that? Oh, yes. Oh, you thought that they were just saying hi to you because they were friendly. Yeah, they were friendly. No.

Well, I think that's how it should be. I think you should be federally required to say hi to me. So either way, I'm just happy to be on your show. And again, I'm trying to brace myself for where this is going to go. So I'm not really quite sure. Well, I hope you're strapped in. I hope you're buckled in tight. Thank you.

Because wherever it's going to go, it's going to go there fast. It's just going to flow, right? Yeah, I think it's going to flow. And I'm feeling the flow. I'm feeling like I'm in it right now. Yeah. This is exciting. What about your engineer?

Why are you looking at your Twitter account, bro? Focus on us. And now, see, this is actually. What about your engineer? Why are you looking at your Twitter account, bro? Focus on us. See, this is actually a great question to raise. This is something we've talked about before. What the fuck, bro? Stay with us. This is Engineer Cody. He's hoping to get a Twitter account off the ground

where he tells paparazzi where different celebrities are. When they're in the studio, he tells the paparazzi that they're here. And so they can just wait outside and take snaps. Right, by Arby's? Yes, exactly. And then Cody gets a little piece both from Arby's because the paparazzi buy. Well, it's a great promotion

because it then looks like somebody like a Pauly Shore is eating at an Arby's. So that's good. Cody, what do you think? Follow me at Find the Celebs Near Arby's. Okay, that's good. I think that's a good move. It's at Find the Celebs Near Arby's?

Find the Celebs Near Arby's, yeah. Don't follow that. I urge you to not follow Cody, and he's going to be cutting that out if he knows what's good for him. You should not follow him at Find theCelebsNearArby's. FindTheCelebsNearArby's. It seems like that's a bad business model.

Wouldn't you want one paparazzi you text and you get their money for it rather than just tweeting it to the world? That seems like such a longer way to monetize that. Well, it's ad-driven as well. But it's a good question. Why are you fucking around and doing your shit on your computer when you should be actually taking care of the show? Sweet Baby Weasel's here today, bro. Yeah, the Sweet Baby Weasel's here.

SBW. Weasel Wolf. You know? We want to fire Cody, but he's Dr. Earwolf's nephew. So it's like a family thing. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. His parents keep the lights on.

Apparently so. We can do a little something with Cody that could be fun. Yes, let's do it. It could be a great thing to have you here for. Yes. Your characters historically have had a lot of interesting names. Yes. What are some of them from your movies?

I did a movie called In the Army Now a long time ago called Bones Conway. Bones Conway, yeah. And they stole that, right? Yeah. I mean, Bones is now a hit show, and it's like, where'd you get that idea? A character named Bones. And it's a similar character. It is.

I haven't seen Bones. Well, I'll tell you what. You have seen Bones because you've made it. I mean, that's what it's like. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. I made the army version. I mean, you made the army now, and it's, you know, Emily Deschanel. Yeah.

Where is Andy Dick? I think I saw him by Arby's. He's over there. He's sleeping under the bench. You get that, Cody? Under the bench. He's not even allowed to sleep on the bench at Arby's. Poor guy.

He has to sleep under there. He was so funny, dude. Yeah. I mean, he's still funny, but he's got to get his shit together. The way he sleeps under there is pretty funny. He does like a funny snore. Yeah. Just like the...

Yeah. Like a little cartoon mouse. But yes, so you got Bones, we got Crawl was in Son-in-Law, right? Yes. That's a hell of a name. Yes. I don't, I forgot what it was in the film, but there was something about

you know, crawling out of something. I don what it was in the film, but there was something about crawling out of something. I don't remember what the premise was, but it was something to crawl somewhere. And then the father, Lane Smith, rest his soul, he called me different. Crawl, crotch, cramp, different. He always kind of goofed it off. Yeah, won't quite get it right. He was a great actor. Do you guys remember Lane Smith? Oh, yes. he was like a southern lawyer and a lot of things and he had those big jowls later yeah he was such a good actor such a good actor he had some

interesting jowls and a lot of actors become judges paulie what we were wondering if you would just give cody a new name because the name that we're working with. Jockstrap. Jockstrap. Jockstrap. Is that first and last name? Yeah. First, last, last. First name Jock? Jock Harry Strap.

Jock Harry Strap. So that's first, last, and middle. Yeah. That makes sense. He was a high school wrestler after all. He looks like one. Yeah, doesn't he? You're not feeling it, bro?

No. Not happening, right? I don't like it. What do we do with you then? It's making me mad. How do we get to hold you? I was never much of a jock, but... Oh, that's the problem.

His first name's Jock now. What about it we call him Rage? What do you think about that, Engineer Cody? It's a little closer to home. Rage. I like it. It feels nice inside. One time he got so mad he punched the soundboard, broke his hand. What do you think about that, Engineer Cody? It's a little closer to home. Rage. I like it. It feels nice inside.

One time he got so mad he punched the soundboard, broke his hand. And the soundboard. You should have seen the soundboard. No, just your hand. The soundboard worked fine. The soundboard worked better afterward. So that's Cody's name. Now name Hayes.

Name him? I'd love that, yeah, because I'm sick of calling him Hayes. I would call him Lumber. That really works for me. That is a good name for me because of the wood connotation. Shop wood, carry water. That's what he's always said about this business. Yeah, there's another reason as well. And I call you Softie.

Oh, yeah, well, that makes sense. I'm delicate like a baby kitten. What do you think? Softie's a cute guy, right? Softie, yeah, yeah. Well, that makes sense. I'm delicate like a baby kitten. What do you think? Softie is a cute, right? Softie, yeah. It's cool. Yeah. You like that name.

Yeah. Well, I mean, I'm not thrilled. I'd probably get beat up walking around with that name. But, you know, that was likely to happen regardless. Sometimes if you do like porn in your early part of your career, because now because of Google, you can like figure out everyone's kind of past. Some people have to actually change their name.

You know what I mean? Did you ever do porn in an early part of your career? A little bit? Not professionally. But you think, I don't know, calling me Softie and then talking about me doing pornography, I don't really love the connotation. That would be a great name for a porn star, softy.

Yeah. Right? The girls are always frustrated. It's an untapped market. Yeah, just a guy with a big soft one. And it could be funny, just the dialogue between the chick and the porn actor, just that dialogue, and then she never gets it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They do the dialogue and the porn actor, just that dialogue. And then she never gets it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They do the dialogue and then... And then it's time. Yeah. And he's got a big one, but a big soft one. Because there's an issue sometimes when it's too big, there's not enough blood in your body to make it not be soft. To safely fill it. Right right you either got to run an iv in there or you just got to sort of roll with the punches because you need something to be in

your brain some blood can you speak on that um no not really i mean i think we should segue back to cody's jockstrap jody why do you think your name is jockstrap yeah cody explain your name it's a little inappropriate, isn't it? Yeah. For someone who's trying to make his career in the entertainment industry? It's different. It's rude. I'm an engineer, you know.

I deserve a little respect. I'm not a jockstrap. A strap that goes on a man's groin. That's where the power is, though, bro. The power lives in the groin, Cody. Yeah, that's why I gave you that name. Yeah? Yeah, I mean, that's where the power is, though, bro. The power lives in the groin, Cody. Yeah, that's why I gave you that name. Yeah? Yeah, I mean, that's what girls want.

You like babes, right? Sure, babes. I like babes and chicks. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So it's like, that's a good name for you. Yeah, if you like babes, I think you would want that name. Really? Do you really like babes or do you not?

Babes don't like jock straps, though. It's jock hairy strap, by the way, is your name. And you don't want to be like jock shaven strap or something. Is that what you want? Talking about hairy babes? No. No, Cody, we're not. If you're jock shaven strap, people are going to think you're a softie.

Are we going to go to college soon? What are we doing here, guys? Yeah, let's throw a call. There's got to be some producer that keeps the show moving, because nothing's fucking happening right now. You know what I mean? Do we go to callers? No, we don't have the technology to do that.

Really? You got this fucking guy over there, and he can't organize that shit? He lapsed his phone, Bill. We've been emailing him about it, but we totally can have callers. We could? Yeah. Right now? Yeah, but no one knows to have callers. We could? Yeah. Right now? Yeah, but no one knows to call, so we're just in a room.

What about emails? Do we go to emails? Yeah, we can get a couple emails. Pauly, I'm going to look up... We have to play a song before we get the listener questions. We do have listener questions. So I'm going to look that up really fast. I just like going to callers. Yes.

And maybe in the meantime, you could tell us story from like you're acting that's a lot of pressure dude you want me to fill out your fucking show with content your acting days well it's just why i look at the song it won't take too long you know what i mean come on that's maybe just like did you ever see anyone nude a famous actress i can't say that well you don't have to say who it is oh yeah what we'll do, let's bring up a famous actress. And we'll guess. And you describe what it was like seeing them nude, and we'll guess who it was.

Okay. What's her name? She went out with Jamie Kennedy. Oh, right. Jennifer Love. Yeah, Jennifer Love Hewitt. She likes to be called Love. Yeah, right. Gentleman Love. Yeah, Jennifer Love Hewitt. Yes, Love. She likes to be called Love. Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I've seen her naked. Okay, well, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And now we're supposed to guess what it was like? I'm going to guess. We'll guess what that experience was like.

It sounds pretty good. Yeah, she's hot, you know, for sure. Definitely. What were the circumstances? Well, she was, where was it? It was, I was filming a movie and I was filming a movie with her in San Antonio, Texas. Yeah, hot. And she was coming out of her, we were running lines, right?

And she was coming out of her, of her, the bathroom. And she forgot that I was like in the living room. She was like getting her panties or something yeah yeah so then she just walked out and she was like

oh my god oh my god and I was like one of those and then she just sat there and then she went ooh

and then she ran back in she sat down and she said ooh no it was more like ooh like that yeah

and then she ran back in and put her stuff on and says, oh, you never saw that. Don't tell anyone you saw it. Oh, uh-oh. But now enough time has passed that now you can.

Yeah, now legally you can now. What do you think that noise means? I've never heard a woman make that noise. It probably means like she was into it. Okay. That's probably why I haven't heard it. Was she licking her chops? Was she what?

Licking her chops. Like you were a meal. Yes, pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. So did you find your thing? Yes, I did. This is the Popcorn Gallery theme song.

This is a segment where, oh, yeah, you can't hear it. Put your headphones on. It's really great. Do you want me to start it over? Yes. Okay. The Popcorn Gallery. What do you think? Well, like I said when this interview first started,

I'm sorry if I'm not in tune with the style of comedy. So you think it's good? It's about movies. Yeah, the movies. I don't know. So you think it's good? I don't know. Well, it's a listener who submitted it. Right. He's not a professional musician.

Right. Though it possibly could be. The popcorn. From what I understand, this was his first take. Oh, yeah. Hmm. Do you not like jazz? No, jazz is cool, but I don't know what this is for. So, is it to tee up something?

Yes. So, it's kind of hard to explain. It is. We have listeners who submit questions. Is this like a Cisco and like, you know, like a thumbs up, thumbs down thing? It is movies. Yes, it is. It's about movies.

It's about movies. And people eat popcorn in the movies. Sometimes people who chime in are called the peanut gallery. So then this is the popcorn gallery because it's questions about movies from people who are just the listening audience. And the sort of thumbs up, thumbs down element is we give some of the questions the thumbs up and ask them to our guest. And some of them we think, this isn't a good question, and the person has to feel bad about themselves.

I don't understand anything you just said. Okay, Hayes, take it away. I'll just go with it. It's questions. Okay. And first we play a sound drop of reaching into a popcorn bag and getting out a question. Okay. So let's play that now.

Okay, got it. Okay, that makes more sense. Okay, hang on. It's a jockstrap. Okay, so that was a little dig at Cody from the sound drop. Yeah. Here's a question from Spunky Funerism, our listener. He asked, Dear Pauly Shore,

can you please describe the last time you karate chopped someone in anger? Jesus. Do we have to answer that fucking question? No, no, no, no. We absolutely don't have to. But talk about, you don't like that guy. He's not serious. Karate chop?

Oh, I know he's not serious but yeah I can't well but it's it's a ridiculous question karate chop someone in anger some of them are bad it's just like

sometimes you take them out of the bag and they just happen to not be very good okay grab another one yeah alright really not any hair in this jock strap

it must be jock shaving strap. Not cool, bro. Well, got to figure it out. Engineer Cody. Yeah, he's messing everything up over there. Keeping it clean. Here's a question from Anastasia Vigo.

Dear Mr. Shore, when you were shooting Son-in-Law, did you get to pick your wardrobe? Also, are you still friends with Carla Gugino? Well, we took my style and that style, we mixed it up together. So, I don't know. We all worked together. It was me and the wardrobe

people. And as far as Carla, no, I haven't talked to her in a long time. She doesn't even have a Twitter. So, I tried to tweet at her and then the person that had her twitter was like sorry this isn't Carla this is da da da da

it's a squatter you damn near got catfished I mean he almost got catfished I did get catfished so if you're out there Carla what the fuck, babe? Hit us up. Did you ever see her nude?

Yes. Me too. For sure. Yes, I saw Sin City. Yes. Yeah, I froze at one particular moment. Let's get another question out of the bag. Oh, yes, sorry.

We have a lot of these. So this is why you had the theme at the beginning. Yes. Yeah, just to sort of let people know the sounds are coming. So did you tell your Twitter followers, like, yo, we're doing a movie thing, blah, blah, blah, can you do the theme for us? And this is the one you guys chose, pretty much? Yeah, well, I got to tell you, the pool was pretty limited.

Really? So it's the one we chose, but our hand was forced somewhat. Huh. So how many came in? The final numbers? I think three. Only three. And the person who did this one has sort of a financial stake in the show.

Oh. So is his uncle, is it Cody? Cody's uncle? It's not Cody. This guy is even more powerful than Cody. This is someone who donated $300 to the show. Wow. And we can edit this out, but it was $300 cash.

So you have to kind of put his theme on there. Well, at that point, yeah, we basically have to do whatever he says. What do you do with $300? Are you guys just go get some steaks at the Palm or what? We don't actually get the money ourselves. Really? Yeah, no, the money goes into the, you can see how nice this sort of. Into the system, yeah.

Yeah. You maybe noticed Engineer Cody's wearing a very nice T-shirt today. And Cody, you're acting like the sweet wheeze isn't even in the studio. Yeah, that's not cool, bro. You know, we grew up, you grew up with me. BioDome, remember? I'm right here in front of you. You grew up with me. Bio Dome, remember? You grew up with him. I'm right in front of your fucking face, dude,

and you're staring at me like it's not even that exciting. Fuck. You're right in the demo, Cody. Do you remember that, Cody? Tell a story from you growing up with Pauly. Come on, bro. It's okay. Put some sad music.

Where did you see Bio Dome? Well, I came home from school. bro it's okay put some sad music where did you see Biodome well it was I was I came home from school I went to my friend's house and we like we were really bored we had nothing to do and we put on

Pauly Shore's Dead oh wow that's a good one I was in 10th grade wow yeah that's legit

we were stoned too stoned well he's gotta throw that in huh cool cool bro hey dude did you guys see the pot barons stone. He's got to throw that in. Huh. Cool. Oh, cool, bro. Hey, dude, did you guys see the pot barons of Colorado on fucking MSN?

Jesus Christ. I haven't seen it. What, it's scary? I mean, just the fact that marijuana is legal in Colorado. Can I say what I think is good about this? What I think is great about this stuff is it used to be that marijuana was something that only

one minority race was able to profit off of and now I think it's great that now white people can actually get rich off it too. I don't think it was fair that only black people were dealing it for so long but let me guess, those pot barons are rich white people. Isn't that a nice change

yes don't you agree it's about time i don't know i don't want to crowd it i don't want to cause any riots anymore with the african americans in ferguson oh my god yeah yeah yeah you know what i mean we got to keep it you know what i mean we don't want them riding in front of you know in front of arby's with andy under the studio. It's too crowded. Well, Andy won't be able to catch a wink. There's a lot of people now at that Arby's. Oh, my God. They won't be able to catch a wink.

I mean, Andy needs a sleep. He's resting up for a big comeback. Yes. Well, it's almost. Do we have to reach in the whole bag again? Oh, sorry. We never got any. We got one more to do, right?

That's right. Well, that's if we're just doing three, but we could do a, sorry. We never got any. We got one more to do, right? That's right. That's right. Well, that's if we're just doing three, but we could do a lot. No, we don't need to do any more. Oh, shit. He's going in. That's not cool, bro. You're doing it without my consent.

It's a letter of consent from the Sweet Weeds, and it's signed and dated today. No, SBW, bro. Sweet Baby Weasel. It's the the Sweet Weasel, and it's signed and dated today. No, SBW, bro. Sweet Baby Weasel. It's the Sweet Baby Weasel, well. No, SBW. It's SBW. Yeah. He's initialed right here.

And he's got today's date. This was a question from Burger Ho. What do you think about all these names? What's going on with internet names today? I don't even go on the internet, bro. It's become gross. Stupid. Mr. Shore, please describe the intricacies of and motivation behind faking your own death for profit.

Cody, you saw the movie. Yeah, Cody. Tell us about the movie. 25 years ago. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, bro. It wasn you 25 years ago whoa whoa whoa whoa bro it wasn't 25 years ago it's 2003 it's like 10 years ago you saw it when you were you told the whole story great was that story a lot i seriously think you're acting like the spw is not even in the studio with not cool bro super spatch grow up super sp Not cool, bro. Super spatch. Grow up.

Super spatch. Cody, talk genuinely about it. Speak spatch. Speak genuinely about how special this is for you, please. I mean, I'm thrilled. I'm thrilled to be here. Yeah. Yeah.

Where'd you grow up? Good, that's okay to say. Where'd you grow up? In Dallas, Texas. Oh, cool. And then Boston. Damn. And then Cleveland.

You went to school in Boston? Yeah. Sick. That's where I saw it. Faneuil Hall, bro. It's a good place. Yeah. And then Cleveland. You went to school in Boston? Yeah. Sick. That's where I saw it. Faneuil Hall, bro. It's a good place. Yeah. Wait a second.

Comedy connection. I'm starting to think that Cody doesn't actually know about Boston the way he just said Faneuil Hall is just a good place. Yeah, it's not. No, it's bigger than a good place. Yeah, it's full of history, which he did not mention. It's sick, yeah. It's definitely historic.

A lot of killer beer over there. And he didn't mention the beer the first time either. Love Boston Puffs. So I think he might be telling a lie. So hard to trust him. I saw Greg Proops at the Comedy Connection once at Pineal Hall. Do you want to speak on Greg? Nice guy.

I always see him at the airport. Yeah. Traveling. You know, he's paying for his children. I'm paying for my houses, which I like my children. They're like my children. Yeah, sure. Because I don't have kids.

I have a home, so I have to go out on the road, make a living, so I can pay the workers. That's where I just was before I came here. The workers who occupy your house? No, that are remodeling it so I can rent it for money so I don't have to go and spend so much money on it. So eventually the house will pay for it. Well, that's what you really want to do.

I mean, I think the key to life is to try to buy property and then rent it out and make money off it. You know, as far as the financial. I mean, that's what a lot of people are doing out here. So I'm trying to get in that racket. I've got my eye on that. I know my dad sure makes a killing off me, that basement apartment I live in. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying, wait a minute, I wish I was on the other side of this equation.

Right. And then I'm lying in my pockets. 100%. Wouldn't be bad. Not bad. Pauly, how do you feel about authority? How do I feel about authority?

Because I'm watching some of these movies you made and it seemed like you're not a fan of it. Well, I would have to say that man, you know, they always win, you know? Yeah, well.

What's that song? Except when they don't. I fight authority, authority always wins. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. John Mellencamp, bro, 83. Cody, were you even born then? Yeah, Cody. I was 28 at that point.

Okay. Okay, well, now you have an idea. Excuse me. Did you ever see him? Naked? In the buff. Yes. Him and his well, now you have an idea. Did you ever see him naked in the buff? Yes. Him and his wife, his supermodel wife.

Mm. Mm. What was that experience like? What were the circumstances there? It was like I was naked and afraid, bro. Oh, you were in the woods? Yeah, I was with them

naked and afraid. We were all living in the woods together. That's a good combination for that show. What? You, John Cougar Mellencamp, and his wife. wife supermodel

wife and michelle and diggy ocello if we're lucky and softy right there softy what's up bro and they did sort of a twinkly high five and there's one more question in the bag bro oh so do you made a little money on that high five just now? I patent it. Anytime anyone does the wheeze in the air, then I get seven cents. Kind of like Elvis Presley's got his own kind of jumpsuit. Yes, and whenever anyone wears a jumpsuit, he... Lisa Marie and Priscilla get cash. A couple bucks. What do you get when people wheeze the juice?

Huh. That's like... I get something off of that as well. Can I say something? I actually think that's really unsanitary, i wish people would stop doing that because other people are going to use those slurpee dispensers yeah grandpa and now they're covered in germs do you see why i understand what you're doing it you think it's funny but now the slurpee dispenser it's not fun it's not because it's funny it's free slurpee and that's why we waste the juice yeah we use the. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wheeze the Jews. But then who's going to do it after you?

And someone could get sick. Well, who cares? Who cares? We don't care about those people. We're living in the moment, man. Yeah, we're right at the beginning. That's sweet grindage and nugs. Yeah, SBW, we're together, bro.

Why are you pushing us so far away? It could be kids. Why are you pushing us far away? Why are you trying to drive a wedge between us? It could be kids who are trying to have a nice slurpy afterwards, and maybe it's a present because they got good grades. And now they're sick. Okay, okay.

We don't want to get the kids sick. That feels like a personal story. Yeah, that's not political. Well, you're acting like I don't use mouthwash before I wheeze the juice. Yeah. It doesn't kill all of us. And it's not wheeze the juice like a fucking homo dude. No, no, no.

That's not how you fucking do it. No, I know it's not like a homo. It's like this. Wheeze the juice. No, I know it's not like a homo. Let me do it, bro. Yeah, I'm sorry, sorry. Wheeze the juice. Yes, yes. Not juice. No, no, not like a hobo. It's like this. No, I know it's not like a hobo. Let me do it, bro. Yeah, I'm sorry, sorry. We's the Jews.

Yes, yes. Not Jews. No, no, no, yes. And can I, may I try again? Yeah. We's the Jews. Me, my mom, me, me, my mom. Wait, don't you need to go in the popcorn bag first?

We's the Jews. Pretty good. It's still a little feminine. I know, I know. Well, look, when you're born a softie, you stay that way, cradle to the grave, and that's just the unfortunate side of my life. He pulled out a question from Bozo's.

Yes. Pauly, do you think Tia Carrere is still really hot? Absolutely. She's a cougar now, big time. Well- Sexy. Thanks for coming on the show did you you see her in the beginning yes of course i saw her from the back side the rectum area that was nice and on that note thanks for coming on the show follow me on twitter dudes yes at at polyshore go to my insta no not my. Go to, I guess, my website. No, wait.

No, I have a podcast, too. Go to his podcast. It's just at Pauly Shore. Shit. It's called Pauly Shore is Interested. And then also we have the new documentary out on Showtime this week. Speak on that as well. What's it called?

It's called Pauly Shore Stands Alone. But I'm not standing alone. I'm here with all you guys. So this is exciting, Cody. What do you think? SBW. What's it called? It's called Pauly Shore Stands Alone. But I'm not standing alone. I'm here with all you guys. So this is exciting, Cody. What do you think? SBW. It's cool, yeah. Yeah, it's fun.

So Pauly Shore Stands Alone on Showtime this whole week. And thanks for having me on. And I'm glad we answered a lot of the questions that were out in the open. And we made it more so now everyone feels better about themselves. And we made it more so now everyone feels better about themselves. And everyone, it was like a nice, you know, what's it called when you kind of come back at the end? It ties up.

It's like a knot. Yeah, it's like a knot. You know, it ties in at the end and it's like a bow. At the end, it's like, boom, we're back in business. And it makes us all want to go to Chipotle. You know what I mean? It's like, oh, let's go get a Chipotle beef bowl, and we're all happening.

And Cody gets the pro version. We'll see you at Arby's, Cody. See you, bro. Bye. Bye. Bye. This has been an Earwolf Media Production. Executive Producers Jeff Ulrich and Scott Aukerman. For more information, visit Earwolf Media Production. Executive Producers Jeff Ulrich and Scott Aukerman. For more information, visit Earwolf.com.

EarwolfRadio.com The wolf dead. That was a HeadGum Podcast.