Hollywood Handbook - Phoebe Robinson, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: October 28, 2025

The Boys talk to PHOEBE ROBINSON about not wanting to work anymore.Check out Phoebe's new special and substack!Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a headgum podcast so just um as we you know before we like really get started here phoebe i want to make sure that we uh that we get the most out of this that we can and also that you do that you feel good about like all your business it's a two-way street is it not And we never want to have it feel like, oh, the show's all about us. We also want to feel like it's all about the guest. Yeah, because we have to do the show every week. As far as what we have to promote, I want to make sure that we straighten that out up top. We've had some guests come through here that have products or, like, things that they wanted us to, like, talk about more or in certain ways.

Which we were totally willing to do. do, but there just was not the communication up top to give us the tools we needed to properly sort of platform, you know, all of their various wares. Ria Perlman has a canned, um, it's like, uh, it's not, what is it? It's like, it's like, mescaline. It's like a mescaline. Yeah, it's like a canned mescaline. Juice. Like, yeah, juice. That sounds healthy. Yeah. That's what she says. She says, She says it's really healthy. Yeah.

And it does come in like a juice box like it and with a little straw. I feel like I'm just, and it's going to feel like, oh, you said Rhea Perlman now. But Ron Perlman also has a line of the Perlman. The Perlman's. That's great. Yeah. They don't want you to do that. They don't want to be the Perlman's.

But he's, but yeah, he has just ether soaked rags that he's selling on like an Etsy. page and that we I guess didn't do it right yeah we didn't we didn't describe it correct I'm sure I'm doing it wrong now so if there's anything if there's anything you or it doesn't have to be obviously

like an old drug it could be anything yeah yeah I'm happy to just talk about my special and my substack and boom there we go and the special is called I don't want to work anymore well if you could please just say what the special is called Come on. I don't want to work anymore.

And it feels like work to promote it, doesn't it? But we have to do it. It does. But it's been fun. It's been fun promoting it. And it's on YouTube. And, you know, it's just, I'm a reformed workaholic, girl boss, whatever you want to call it. And I just reached a point where I.

I want to call it a girl boss. Yeah. I want to call it girl boss. Yeah, we call it a girl boss. And I text it a best friend. friend a couple years ago when I was just like, I literally would suck

a 72-year-old band stick if I didn't have to get on this flight and go work. And she was like, Phoebe, that is so old. And I was like, I don't care. I want to get in someone's will. And I just was like, oh, that could be like a funny place to start especially and sort of like the theme of it just being like women were told that being a girl boss was going to

like set them free and make their lives like so spectacular. But we're just like burnt out and overworked. And I don't know if that's true and it certainly wasn't true for me in the end and i have no notes really except for just like certain men might want a little more distance between their age and the age of a age of a man's dick so old as to be like comically disgusting i wonder if we could get that up to 90 well and even just for you in terms of getting into someone's will i mean the medical advances that have happened are so profound that like 72 I don't

I don't want to be vulgar but the idea was introduced you would be sucking that dick for potentially 20 plus years I probably well yeah so then in that case it's like at that point I go let's take the flight or or let's find a guy who's pushing 90 right who's got let's get a nine in front of that number I'm getting I'm just saying I'm getting close to an age where the idea of a 72-year-old man's dick being disgusting is like, I'm laughing less hard at that every second. You know what I mean? Yeah, just because of sort of, yeah, where I am in my life, years old, you know, 68. No.

One year away from being funny. Yes, I, you know, I could up the age. I was just throwing out 72. It could be older, as I talk about in this festival. Anything that gets you closer to hospice age is probably ideal. That'd be good for me. And it doesn't have to be like 150 or something. No, that's crazy.

That's stupid. But like as the technology advances, though, and as the audience gets older, maybe we do get up there in terms of the age that we're talking about. But I don't have to do that right now. I don't, but I like to think. The special, the substack, any Halloween, like creatures and stuff

that you want to invent? Is there a sort of scary goblin or anything that you've kind of invented that you want to kind of get out here now because it's close. I mean, this will come out right before Halloween, right? So you've developed like TV and stuff. It could be a man, you know, there's all these man,

the candy man, the bye-bye man, you know, of course, the empty man, there's all these different. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if we need to event any. more men. Could be a woman. Could be a woman. It could be a woman. It could be a lot of them. Enough of these by-bye. Bloody Phoebe. Enough of these candy, man. Right? Yeah. What about a female chef who is cooking, like, I'm trying to think of, you have to think like backwards from the costume, right?

Yeah. So it has to be something that's like easy for any kid to do, like, like bed sheet with a hole in it type thing. Maybe, oh, and they can, like, carry their pot and it's something that they can put the candy in. Yeah, I'm disturbed a little bit because we're creating this new powerful female horror archetype and we've immediately gone to, she's in the kitchen and she's cooking.

She's a chef. And I know we're moving away from the girl boss culture. I know, but Hayes, the optics are not ideal. I don't want to defend, yes. I would like her to be managed. a hedge fund always defending my idea whatever hedge fund yeah she's so she's managing a hedge fund okay i can't go back to the kitchen i can't figure out what she would be doing that would make a costume the costume the costume yeah and vb if you have anything that you're scared of

i mean sometimes that's a great way to start what are you scared from yes what are our fears what's your greatest fear my greatest fear in life oh gosh or in like a scary scary house or like in this scary house uh like i hate haunted houses i get so i don't like being scared i think it is so rude to scare people right like i don't like prank i just don't like it i'm like it's not nice and for the midwest i want to be sunny and happy um but i guess if i was in a haunted house you know anyone jumping out of the dark like that's just too that's one of my things too i was jumping out of the dark i would i would crap myself when you go through, when you go to like universal Halloween horror nights and you walk through these

houses, it's just like, you're just looking at everyone else and being like, are you seeing this behavior? Yeah, totally inappropriate. Are you like, is any, am I the only person who's like seeing how these people are acting? Are we honestly just going to let this? Why am I the only one stopping and scolding literally every single person I interact with? Why is everyone else just moving around like it's fine? I have no help. I have absolutely no help in these haunted houses. And I hate to, you know, obviously I'm pushing 72, so I hate to make it like a generational thing.

But it's just like when I was growing up, you wouldn't jump out and scare someone and expect not to get a stern talking to, especially an adult like me. It's a COVID thing, actually. I think it's the erosion of norms after COVID. No one knows how to socialize. So they just sneak around in corners or they rattle a chain link fence right up against your head and it's just like not uh to me the best way to make friends they have you look in a

mirror and then the mirror turns out to be double-sided and like someone on the other side scares you it's like what are we doing here can you can you talk to me about I never know when people talk about a mirror being double-sided yeah how do you describe this I think of the mirror as being I had I had a tough time with it just now like Like, it's one side. Do you know what I mean when someone says a double-sided mirror? They mean that people can see you through the other side of the mirror, right? The one-yard mirror, yeah.

Yeah. But is that double-sided? How would you say it? What's the easiest way to say it to communicate it? I think the easiest way to say it is, I don't know, double-sided. I feel like I think as a collective in this country, we sort of solve that issue. And we're, you know, probably- Oh, on to other stuff, you think?

Oh, okay. okay so okay so whatever so because it's always been done this way in this country then we should keep doing it all right i'm sure that'll really serve us well moving forward maybe it's time to reinvestigate and let's start with something important like the mirror thing okay and really dig in on it feels to me like a double-sided mirror they would be seeing themselves from the other side not that they would be able to see me yeah this really feels like a concern you're white right this feels like a concern yeah yeah so literally no one has figured that out well no one well and and by the way no one asks you know what i mean you're the

probably the thank you for asking thank you for i just want to i just want to confirm because sometimes people are biracial you can't tell but i just feel like this is the concern of a white man when you're like there there's not enough going on for you That this is top of mind, you know. Is it a white man thing, that it's too hard to describe Yes. What that kind of mirror is. Like you can see through one side of a mirror, but they can't see through the other

set. I do want to point something out, that if you, just for your own, this is for your own good, Phoebe. When you drink from that mug, your mug says woke up sexy as hell again, right? Yeah. But you have a cozy, you're a cozy drinker where you put your other hand around the mug, yes? I've just noticed. I notice things. And you often have your finger positioned so that what we can see on the screen is a mug that says, woke up shell again.

And I just want to say, Marcel will come for you. Sorry, Marcel. Any shell-based content, yeah. Sorry, folks. I just, I like to hold a mug with both hands it feels like how it's very it's a very cozy positioning i just don't want the guy who i don't want woke up shell again the single most litigious yeah yeah uh sort of uh film franchise character uh who yes who famously says woke up shell again every morning every morning that is that's a good way to live have a have a motto it's good Phoebe started yes I want to make sure we get the substack too what's the substack called it's called thoughts and prayers with Phoebe Robinson it's spelled T-H-O-T-S but thoughts thoughts thoughts yeah so it's just

I have this thing on social media called thought nation which is I call it thought nation it's just sort of like we're all horny and we're all sort of hysterical about the world so let's talk about what tips us off and turns us on and that's sort of the basis of the basis of the substack and it's been a lot of fun so many of these subsdacks i'm reading through these and i'm like trying to get horny can we acknowledge my hornyness before i have to read about no one's talking not these other subsdacks are not talking about my horniness they're like reviewing movies or something and i'm like but first let's like talk about how we're all gonna get off the real issue it's a missed opportunity yeah i swooped i swooped right in yeah

we also want to talk about so you spoke to jesse recently jd f oh yes jesse david fox we talked about jesse david fox often we did seven or eight episodes seven or eight episodes about his um he had a sort of a galaxy brain kind of genius moment where uh after the most recent super bowl or maybe two super bowls ago He said that the musical performance during the halftime show should be replaced with a stand-up comedian, which if you want to be in the mix for that, like, you didn't miss that because, like, we were like, because we wouldn't consider you. Oh, you're good on that? You don't want to do it. Yeah, I'm good. I don't want to do it.

I don't. I absolutely don't. Phoebe. It's not being in a stadium is not built for stand-up. It's not built for stand-up. It's not built for stand-up. If you have to see Rihanna or you have to see someone tell jokes, you're going to choose Rihanna. Well, actually, Jesse David Fox said the opposite.

He disagreed. Yeah. So he had a pretty well thought out argument, and we've been trying to support, you know, that concept. And I think it was in response, I think it was in response to him just not caring for Rihanna as a performer, that he said, what if we got a stand-up comedian to do this instead? That's what I think. That's what, not to put words in his mouth, but that's what, that's exactly what. he said. Yeah.

Manuscal go to the polls and vote. Manuscalco to the pole. Stand up over music, yeah. He's, Sebastian's very funny. I just think to hold the attentions of a stadium, stand-up is not maybe the most ideal art form. And I can't believe he was shade Rihanna like that. What more does he want?

She was performing pregnant. I was disappointed in him, too. I was really disappointed in him too. I know. I sort of wonder if the substack really takes off as a result of this conversation could a substack be the Super Bowl halftime show?

Oh, yeah, people love for you in this country. So if it's not a stand-up... Well, they have these jumbotrons. They have these giant screens. You know what I mean? And it's like, we should talk to Jesse about this because he could really platform this concept. does what he wanted,

which is gets Rihanna the heck out of there. And it also does what we want, which is it gets Phoebe, you know, exposed to this larger audience, these like football fans and, you know, Taylor Swift's there again,

like that could be huge. And we get the Jumbo Trot is scrolling pretty slowly probably across some of your top substack articles. I think I could even get rich off of that. Maybe an AI voice is reading it. I'm into that. Great.

And then Animal Planet has a rival halftime show that's a dog, a dog's substack. That'll get more, more hits than my people. That's my fear too. Yeah. I want to read that substance. Just even describing it now, I'm like, oh, I flip over an old planet to read that dog substack. You can barely get through the idea before you kind of got lost in imagining.

What the dog might put on the substack Hollywood Handbook Mr. Monopoly here. Monopoly is back at McDonald's. Register in the McDonald's app so you're ready to Get Your Bad! Two ways to peel for a chance to

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dot play at MCD.com to play without purchase. Ends November 23rd, but bonus plan is November 2nd. Monopoly is a registered trademark of Hasbro. Copyright McDonald's. Hollywood Ham. So you spoke to Jesse. Go ahead.

No, no. What do you feel? What do you feel? I was just going to say most end-up comics are not more interesting than Rihanna, so I don't understand. Oh, you said most. Okay. Let me get that list right here.

Let me get the list right here of stand-up comedians that are more interesting than Rihanna. Phoebe Robinson. and this is a post and this is our clip so it's rare that I can feel exactly what the clip is while we're doing it but Phoebe Robinson's list

of the what is it four standups that are more interesting than Rihanna or equal levels interesting or as interesting

as interesting and there's a number one on the clip right now one period or is it or is it a four or or is it one two three four on

the screen and each time she says one we have to slot it into the appropriate oh that's good you know how they do that sometimes they do that yeah we'll figure out the order you just give me the names of the stand-up comedians that are more or as interesting than riana and we will figure out how to put it on the screen mm-hmm well i would say chris rock okay it's phenomenal number is that number one i'm not telling you we have okay that's right i'm putting almost got her i can tell it was a really I listen listen you cannot trick you cannot trick me I'm putting Chris at two I'm putting Chris at two I want to have room I think there's another big one coming give me Chris is a legend he's iconic let's put him at two give me Chris it too I hope I don't regret this I would say

Wanda Sykes is absolutely phenomenal so she would crush it okay okay I fuck with that okay Wanda all right give me Wanda three I don't think she's bigger than Chris but she's definitely a legend. I think Sebastian Sebastian Manascalco. As or more interesting than Rihanna. And so Phoebe Robinson He's a performer. On the books.

Okay. Sebastian Manascalco as a more interesting than Rihanna, as a performer, by the way. So all that's open is one and four. You slot it in prematurely. I think we should put all these guys at three.

Just in case someone comes in that. Let's be careful. Right. So we're going to move Chris down, Wanda stands pat, and then we also have Sebastian. Sebastian, Man Scalcoe at three. Okay. And who's number four? Well, I'm saying Bill Boer.

Bill Burr, sure. Bill Boer. Yeah, Bill Boar, who is Bill Burr's cousin. No, Bill Burr. Yeah, yeah. Billber. Billber. Billber.

Number three. Got to be. And that was the four stand-up comedians that are as or more interesting than Rihanna as a performer, not as an artist, as a brand. Bills. Let me just say this about Bill. I love Bill. The skincare products are not good. yeah they're not

I feel like he didn't test it across all you know skin types yeah you think it was a skin type issue you know yeah he didn't really cater to the you know combination skin audience and okay yeah because my I have combination skin

yeah it's combination dirt and sand on my face. How's how working out for you? It's just the beach that I live on is like is like one of those beaches that you're like, is this sand?

Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Some of it's got to be. It's so, it's so beach-coated. You know what I mean? There's water. Not right next to you, but it's close. And it gets on your skin in a way

that you're just like, this is, this is it now this is this this this is this is this is on my face and anything else is going to have to go on top okay you know i feel like sand is have you thought about like throwing gravel in the mix that's already in there oh it's already in there okay um i this the i'm trying to get gravel out of the well it sounds like you need more moisture i mean i have the opposite problem which my skin is combination and the combination of course is a juice and sauce. That's a lot of liquid.

Tell me about it. Yeah. Yeah. So what I need, maybe even more than a skincare product, is just a towel I can trust, you know, and I've yet to really find a brand that is doing what I need. Yeah. So you need a towel to sort of sop up all the sauce. I need a towel that I can trust.

Yeah. Have me try Brooke Lennon. They make nice. I think they make towels. You can find towels at Macy. And that and that and Brooks Lennon, that's Brooks Wheelons. That is. That's his line.

Once again, after S&L, he did that. With these, the products of these brands. I, again, I love him as a comedian. The linen is, it's like coming off. I don't even know how to explain it. just like it's coming off and little like the layers are like separating in like crazy ways big pieces come off big pieces of the linen come off of brooks wheelins shooting all over the

place that's going all over the place and i'm not i'm a very still sleeper mm-hmm i'm like once i'm down i'm not doing jack shit like the tired. I'm just there. Like, that's my position when I wake up. I'm the anti-Brabiglia. Mm-hmm. I'm the opposite of my Grimiglia. Wow. That's a stance to take. Not many people are anti-Berbigs. You know, he seems to be beloved, but you have beef. You want to be the anti-Ambia. Well, I'm just saying I'm the opposite of him in my sleeping style. Okay. So you're just going to come at him like that. Yeah. Yeah, that was

pretty aggressive. I can't. And like, you know, we host the show together, but that doesn't mean that I like claim everything that he says and sometimes I have to like get in here and be like yeah I well and I would say to him like if he wants to go toe to toe in terms of whether I do sleep in a more still fashion

than him I invite him to come on this show and actually discuss it with me because I'm sick of all the passive aggressive obviously a lot of the clips that I see of his show are aimed at us in some way I know that I'm top of mind

and I'm sick of the sort of passive-aggressive approach and I would invite him to come on the show and actually confront me about it and we can find out and I'm happy to fall asleep during the show and I've done it before and I'll do it again. Wow, falling asleep during a while you're taping a podcast is quite a skill. I'm pretty impressed.

How are you able to do that? The thing for me is I just, I I totally forget that there's a podcast going on. Like, I just, the only way I can do the show is to just know, there is no show. And right before he records, I don't know if this has anything to do with him falling asleep before the podcast, but right before he records, he has a, um, a bool. You know, they ever have these bulls? Oh, he's in a bull? What's that?

it's like a big bread but like it's not they don't call it bread right um they call it a bool it's a it's like a special big bread is this a is you making this up or that that is the actual name it's a bool it's a bool yeah like you mean like a bread just call it bread bowls no that's not a boole, baby. Because he does, it's like a bread bowl with the, with the non-bowl part still in it. You know what I mean? You know how every bowl has a part that like there is no bowl? And that's what allows it to be a bowl.

You know what I mean? Well, we talk about obviously on the show, we talk. So this is just like a loaf of, this is just like a loaf of bread. Well, it's a bool. We talk about the pelvic bowl. Mm-hmm. So often. And what makes it a pelvic bowl, yes?

Well, it's the concave shape. It's the absence. It's the absence of bone within the center of the bull. If it was a pelvic bull, boy, we wouldn't be able to turn at all. We'd be locked completely straightforward all the time. That might be interesting. And so he punishes a bull right before. I murder the bull.

Right before we get on, Mike. I smashed the bull. Hounds a bull. I set the bull straight up on its end and then I just basically collapse down to the table. I go straight down the table. It falls face first into it. Yeah. I inhale the bull.

And I think that does, like for me it's a ritual at this point, but I think it does probably relate to the fact that I fall asleep. once or twice a podcast episode. Well, how do you feel about that? It's really where I get my shit off. You know what I mean? So I just kind of sit in the cut and I wait for, it's basically like waiting for the night watchman to go down.

You know what I mean? You know when you're doing a heist and you're waiting for the night watchman to at least establish a consistent routine. Yeah, you've memorized his route so you know that like once you've seen them walk past a particular window that you have whatever. it is. And you can see his vision cone, six and a half minutes before he's back into that particular hallway. And then that's exactly how long you've timed out each step of your heist. That's me with the pool. That's him with the pool. He knows it. Because before I've

all asleep, if Hayes tries to get his shit off, I'm telling him to shut the fuck up. I am putting the clamps on him. Well, you guys, that's a contentious relationship. I really hope that doesn't hurt the podcast. But that's every podcast. Isn't that every podcast? Right? That was you, every,

you've hosted podcast. Come on. Like, which, I mean, which one were you? The one who falls asleep? I'm very professional.

I'm always awake. I'm always with it. I'm always with the jokes. So you're the haze. You're a haze. You're a haze. I say I'm a Feeby. That's what I've been saying for a long time.

Yeah, no, two dope queens. We, Jessica and I were, we were both on it. Nobody had bulled beforehand. What was she?

What was she having? What was she eating that would make her fall asleep during the show? Oh, man. I mean, maybe some fah or something. Big fah. Yeah, big foe head. Absolutely. Assassinating a fah right before the show.

Yeah. That, like, it tricks you because you're like, oh, it's soup, it's a drink or whatever. Well, actually, there's an entire bzgetti in there. Yeah. There's a whole biscetti dinner hidden in the... spaghetti and basically yeah full side of brisket if they're doing it right if you just had all the ingredients outside of the thing you'd be like that's crazy you can't have that if you looked at it on the counter yeah you'd be like i can't i can't have all that have you've done berbigley's

podcast i i did it a while ago like years ago and i think i'm going to do it again soon I kind of can't remember if I've done it either. Yeah. Have I done it? No, I have done it. I have done it. You guys have not. No, actually, I can't remember.

Did we do it? Yeah. It's not that I haven't. It's that I actually am not sure if I did it or not. Yeah, I don't know if I did it. Yeah. Isn't it crazy how it all blends together? I mean, we all been in the game for the same amount of time.

God, you remember, we had that sort of quiet competition. We were on these lists. I can't remember one of us was number one, one of us number two. You know, they'd put out these best comedy podcasts, and it's, and I don't know who was which or who did Barbiglius podcast or what. Like, I can't even remember it. I feel like you remember it all, actually. Yeah, it feels like it's all, you know, it's all this crazy.

It's, it's fuzz, what it is. It's all mixed together in this big bowl. There's all these ingredients. There's the sort of brisket, that's the list. And there's the Piscetti. That's Bribiglius podcast. And when you put it's, put it all in the soup you don't know what's what you know and so yeah here we are yeah and

now we're all together there's there's no competition we ended up in the same place exactly yeah yeah you got a special you got a sub stack you're doing these other promotional things and we're still doing the same uh show to a slightly smaller audience you can i believe in you you guys got this hey it looks like dom hall gleason that counts for something this has been happening to me that's been coming up will someone at least tell me how to say his name oh of course it's good okay of course it's good yeah will someone tell me that in a slightly lower register i mean i did not say it in a high register he said you look like the guy that's true but he wants to hear it's good people say it's good in a very high register

I just said, of course, it's good. And also I'm zagging. I don't know if anyone has noticed. I've had to get off his corner a little bit with the mustache. Mm-hmm. I have to do this. And we're all talking about his mustache, and we're calling him sexy Flanders. Now it's another, everywhere I go, someone is there.

He's got to look like someone else. Why can't he just be himself? Why has everybody got to look like someone else? There's some man running for some sort of political office right now that apparently looks like a combination of the two of us and boy it's a oh who's that i haven't seen that i can find it i can find it because let's his name's graham platner is it yes and he's probably going to win we're just going to cause all kinds of problems for us that's that's that's going to be a long running thing he looks like us mush together apparently he looks like yeah if there was like

a mash up between us i'm going to look this guy pull up grand platner yeah grand platinum yeah grand platiner he's a manor he's cool he's because he seems cool right he's stronger than us for someone who's by the way running for senate no he doesn't look like either of you okay well now i'm i'm i'm hurt no matter what you say this guy looks like you guys that's what they're saying if you combine that's what they're saying that's what's happening online just three men that's it you are three men on this planet That is what I would group you guys as. Yeah, because I guess if you said that he looked like a combination of us and Kevin, I wouldn't disagree with that either, which we're three men, you know?

We are three men on this planet. At the end of the day. Speaking of another man on this planet, Jesse David Fox. I feel like we're talking more about him than we are my work, but, you know, I just want to throw that out there. But talking about him is the work. Okay, sure. Isn't that the work? That is my life's work.

And I do just want to point out that you said you don't want to talk about your work anymore. No, I said that's the name of my, the name of my specials, I don't want to work anymore, but I'm happy. But you want to talk about it. I'm happy to talk about it since I'm here. Here's my question for you. You have a pillow that says boss lady behind you. Yeah. Is part of this?

Are you going to throw it out the window at some point? I'm going to hear that. Like glass breaking and a me. Shoot it with a bow and arrow. Shoot it with a bone arrow. I got it during, I think I ordered off a shop off during COVID as a nice little fun visual thing. And hey, yeah. But I'm not going to, I'm going to keep it.

I like all my pillows. What lady doesn't like her pillows, you know? There's one. There's one, two, three. Look at there's five. Yeah. Were you going to say there's one lady who doesn't like her pillows? Yeah.

Who's that lady? Is that Glenn Close? Who is it? Glam close. Well, yeah. No scoped. First guess. You got it.

Gleg close. In that movie where she seems normal. But then she's like, there's something beneath the surface, isn't there? Yeah. Yeah. I like that movie. And she was Carrella DeVille. Maybe she wanted to turn those dogs into a pillow.

All those dogs in one huge pillow. And you have to admit. I don't agree with, like, the way you get there. But if you turn 101 dogs into, like, a pillow that's, like, basically the size of a whole room, you're telling me you wouldn't try to climb up that pillow and have, like, lie down on it, see how it feels? It probably feel nice. You agree. That's so great.

Yeah. It would feel good. We shouldn't do that. We shouldn't, like, kill all the dogs to get there. I don't think we should kill 100 plus dogs in X. excessive a hundred dogs just to make a pillow but but if someone did it if it's already been done what are we supposed to do i had there was no way for me to stop it the pillow exists already i'm going to not lie down at it as some sort of protest deny myself the exquisite pleasure of lying on a

hundred dog pillow i'm sorry you got to do it i'm sorry get up in them guts go for the moral policing has gone too far and if if a dog by the way saw a pillow that was made of me me and another hundred men on this planet? I would not forbid them to lie down. And they would in a second. They would immediately lie down on the part that's me. No question.

So I'm not supposed to lie down on it. Now I'm being held to a higher standard than this dog. But you guys make great points. I can't disagree with you. Many have tried. Yeah. And they failed. Absolutely.

It does not go well for the disagree. not on this show out in the internet after the show comes out it goes pretty well my reaction i'm curious if this has happened to you phoebe when i say i don't want to work anymore people say what what were you what were you doing yeah that that's what they asked me as well right yeah yeah and i kind of wanted them to say no please come on wait I would ask the same I would ask the same same question of what we were doing what we were doing before of what we were doing the point is that we don't want to yeah not what it was yeah you know people aren't asking you that why because they like know what you were doing they know what you do yeah it was yeah it was kind of famous yeah yeah people are pretty aware that I've just been kind of grinded they've seen the work been enjoying it yeah yeah and so some of them do say no some of them cry You say, I don't want to work anymore, and you barely get through the entire special because your audience is, needs comforting. No, they're like, we get it.

We will start a GoFundMe and we'll support you not working. So it's really, I don't want to work anymore for this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just give me a go fund me. Yeah. What was a venue?

Where'd we were going to a venue? the venue of the show. I mean, I taped a special Dynasty Typewriter, which is super fun. I love performing at that space. It was great. In L.A., I should say, for people who aren't aware, where it is.

But, yeah. Oh, anybody listening to this knows Dynasty Typewriter. Okay. We did a series of diminishing return shows there. Oh. So.

You know, there's, you could always turn around. You can turn around. I'm not sure we can now. I love that you believe it. that's another I always believe that's a tough thing to hear

for me that it was Dynasty Typewriter because it's just another variable another explanatory variable off the board that is you know what I mean

so it wasn't it wasn't that we chose the wrong venue yeah I was really really relying on that one too yeah

that was a load bearing variable for me Yeah, if you were going to say the venue and we were both going to be so relieved and go, okay, we had to do that. Then people would know that we were working. Or like, I should do. Oh, we should do that. Oh, Largo. Was it a night show there?

No, it is. It's nighttime, yeah. Okay. Fun of a bitch. Shit. Fuck me. Yeah. That's fucking sucks.

Sorry. Sorry, guys. That's fucking brutal. Did they even bother to like take the piano and the rug and stuff? off the stage or did they just leave a fucking mess up there they did the director charzad divani who's directed episodes of st dennis medical abit elementary in the my show everything's trash that i used to have on freeform she um came up with the idea for this backdrop of it and work with a designer to get it so it's that's what it was yeah okay yes if we had had the designer yes

the designer instead of everything's trash is what I say. People couldn't see us. Yeah. No, it was all trash up there on stage piano and stuff. I think people couldn't see us so they didn't know we were working. Because then when we say we don't want to work anymore, they would have been like, no, please get back up there. We saw you up there, you know. What was your backdrop? And maybe we do that. Yeah, we can do that.

Are you using it? What's behind you? I'm not. I will, you know what? I will ship it to you guys. Keep forward us the backdrop. Yeah, I'll hook you guys up. You'll ship the whole backdrop. Yeah. But what's it look like just so I can sort of dress to match? It's not like arrows pointing at me and saying something. It's not.

Okay. I can pull up on my phone. It is a very beautiful backdrop that you guys saw because you watched a special. I know you did. You just forget what it looks like, which is totally good. I'm not a lot on YouTube right now. So I've been locked out of YouTube. Apparently, if you search for enough things that aren't on there,

They just say, no. They just say no more. You need something else. But this is the backdrop. Wow. Yeah, so pretty, right? That's pretty. Pretty flowers.

So pretty. Very sunny, and I have my little power suit on. So it was a really good combination, masculine, feminine. That was great. I worry for me if that backdrop is up there. I am probably trying to coat myself in the pollen so that I can then go to one of the other flowers

and pollinate it and kind of spread my shit around. You know what I mean? I was tempted to do that. I was tempted to do that. That's why you're facing the other way. That's why you're facing toward the audience so you don't even get tempted. Yeah.

My concern, of course, is, I'm familiar with this sort of Ann Gettys photographs? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. A little baby inside the flower. That it starts. That's cute. I worry that I was going to be, that she's my stylist now. I was going to be dressed like a baby inside a flower.

And that I will once again just blend into the image behind me. And people won't realize that I am up there on stage. working and i don't want to change my clothes for the show because i paid a lot he she did him for um the met gala and she had this really beautiful it was like half an egg like a broken egg um and it's like beautiful yellow sort of feathery downy sort of yoke like kind of covering over my head couldn't that sounds great had to be moved around by like putting the whole kind of situation on a towel and then having his bait me pull the towel drag the towel which also would really fall and hit the back of my head

every time we started from a stop again it was fine once we got going I'm sorry I'm still stuck on how you were invited to the Met Gala trying to figure that out um it turns out basically if you kind of present yourself as having a lot of issues, they won't make you leave. Yeah. That's smart.

Because it would be too much of a, it'd be somehow, somehow more of a problem for them to make you go home. The new cycle of having them get rid of you has to be more damaging than the new cycle of you kind of just being around. Which is very damn.

It turned out to be very damaging, but not as damaging as it would have been. The scene that would have been made if I got removed would have been a lot worse. And frankly, it probably would have been better for us. But they did have a sign a lot of liability forms of like things that could happen that they would not be liable for. And they were smart to do that because literally every single one happened. You know why the forms are called that? No, why are they? forms have the ability to lie.

I mean, that's what I found out, which is they make all kinds of promises, you know, that they're protecting you, but they're actually protecting the Met Gala. And that's what I learned. And I've had a heck of a time getting back a lot of my stuff that fell out of the yoke suit, which they're just keeping.

And by the way, you go in and ask them if there's a lost and found, get on the merry go round they're going to send you to this office to that office upstairs upstairs forget it and you're better off I mean at that point you're better off just rebuying all the candies and stuff that you had but like

you know I'm determined right I'm dogged I told you we've been doing the show for a long time like I'm just a guy I there's no quit in me that's good you don't want want to give up. He's got that dog in him. And she believes in you. She said that.

Yeah. Here's my last question, Phoebe. Okay. Do we want to encourage some alt-gougals other than just like typing I don't want to work anymore into Google? And then when you apply for benefits or something like that, people are like, well, you just Google that you don't want to work anymore. Yeah.

And so. so wait what's the question the question is and i think it's pretty obvious the questions the questions is plain as day if you type i don't want to work anymore into google i'm afraid that all your fans are going to be put on some kind of list that could be used against you yes right they're going to get filtered into a bucket for it's and even when you apply for a job that is true i probably shouldn't name my special that because it's really going to hurt when it comes to casting for movies for you and that's just for you but for what if that's just for you what if and when people google it they're not going to be cast movies either because the casting director now gets your

headshot your CV and all your Googles from your whole life I didn't think this through well so what should but there must be other things that can Google that will probably get them there what we'll do I think is apply some unique tags to the bottom of the special so that people can arrive at it in a different way. Great. How about this? I'm trying it right now. Phoebe, new, special, I do want to work so much more. Every more. Every more. Ever more. Ever more. Yeah. I do want to work ever more.

This query appears to be a misremembered line from comedian Phoebe Robinson's 23 Netflix special titled I'd like to apologize to my fucking parents hmm so you said that you said Phoebe new special I do want to work so much more in that in that previous

in that previous special and now we're walking it back yeah you know this special is a little a little a little raunchy so I apologize to my parents

for that part they're so sweet what's the ronchiest uh oh i mean there's a lot of like sex jokes you know which do they need to hear me nothing funny about sex to me no it's a very serious serious matter yeah that's when i yeah that's when i say i don't want to work anymore yeah yeah i'm sure your sexual partners love that they're thrilled i really appreciate you putting an s at the that's the first time anyone's ever assumed there's been more than one yeah but um substacks thoughts and prayers special i don't want to work anymore phoebe phoebe closing thoughts uh advice to our fans advice to us uh not that kind of thoughts a lead for kevin on yeah a lead for kevin on

Oh, this is a lot. Final thoughts. I want everyone to stay positive, eat protein, lift weights. I got to give Kevin advice on something. New opportunities for him. Yeah, just set them up. Obviously, this isn't going to be long term. Has he thought of posting, like, feet picks on only fans?

I think people are interested in men's feet as well. And I think that's an under, you know. On tap market. Yeah, yeah. So I think, look into that, Kev. And then what was the third thing I have to provide? Just your avails for the next recording. Oh, oh, gosh, gosh.

Does Sunday at 6 a.m. work for you? Sunday at 6? We've got Sunday at 6. 6 I think I can do. I'm just taking a look at my calendar. And that's cool. Sunday at 6 London, 6 London time. My publicist will get back to you.

Awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So hit her up. Bye. Bye. Hollywood Handbook. That was a headgum podcast.