Hollywood Handbook - Rachel Bilson and Olivia Allen, Our Close Friends
Episode Date: March 4, 2025To kick off Try Month, The Boys give RACHEL BILSON and OLIVIA ALLEN some podcast tips for their show Broad Ideas.Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/Ho...llywoodHandbook Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
Get that Angel Reese special at McDonald's now.
Let's break it down.
My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame
seed bun, of course.
And don't forget the fries and a drink.
Sound good?
Ba-da-ba-ba-ba.
I'm participating in restaurants for a limited time. We looknow White"] -♪ Make right, get your gear... -♪
Well, you look ready.
I'll say that.
I see that dog in there. -♪ Yes, no, no, no.
The studded collar.
It would need to be the studded collar
in that dog in there.
Would not wanna be the studded collar.
It's about to be cleft in tween.
Mm-hmm.
The dog is gonna need to be on a special diet, for sure.
I think let's just start with something easy, ladies,
which is...
Not the dog?
This doesn't feel easy. Not the dog?
This doesn't feel easy already.
But the dog?
Yeah.
The dog thing, I think, was actually us trying to kinda
get you charged up and feeling like,
wow, I'm ready for this.
And it's at the opposite, and we're like, I'm.
But that can be good too, because now you feel like,
oh, I've got something to prove,
and that actually is that chip on your shoulder.
Yeah.
You didn't see the dog?
I was about to get so.
No dogs detected.
I thought.
What dog?
No, I wanna know what dog I have inside me.
Well, we do too.
That's what we were hoping to get out of you.
Okay.
Well, I'm trying to work with you there.
I know what dog is inside me.
Everything we've tried so far.
She's a pit bull, 100%.
I think it's a pit bull.
See? I knew she's a pit bull.
It's a divisive dog.
Wow.
Yes.
Right?
Yes.
Definitely some people see you
and immediately cross the street.
Yeah.
I believe that.
100%, the first time I ever saw her,
I was like, I cannot go near that person.
Some people think it should be in jail.
Yeah. This is all, you're like writing my diary. Some people think it should be in jail. Yeah.
This is all, you're like writing my diary for me.
You're seeing her soul.
People don't want you around kids.
How people want me in jail.
Go to jail?
Yes, 100%.
Well, I wish you'd brought your diary,
but let's just start with something so easy.
Let's just start with something simple.
Just go ahead and make me laugh.
Oh. Just go ahead and make me laugh. Oh.
Just go ahead and crack me up.
Kevin's been raving.
It's so fun.
I'm producing this show.
It's so great.
And so like, geez, must be pretty fucking funny.
Like Kevin's having a good time, you know?
He doesn't say that about me.
So.
No, actually I never even heard of you guys.
I've got a great sense of humor.
I've got a great sense of humor.
I love to laugh.
He didn't bring it up.
No, never once. I didn't mention it. Our show hasn't come up. I didn't even know what it guys. I've got a great sense of humor. I've got a great sense of humor. I love to laugh. He didn't bring it up. No, never once.
I didn't mention it.
Our show hasn't come up.
I didn't even know what it was until we walked in here
and you have hats on,
so I'm assuming that's the name of the show.
No. No.
It's not.
The name of the show is Hat Pack?
Yeah.
We have some for you guys too.
Oh, good.
Oh, you do?
You're right.
You're right.
That didn't sound like you thought it was actually good.
So you want Rachel to make you laugh, right?
I would take a laugh from anyone.
We've been hearing so much about this show,
and I do want to say, obviously you never heard of us,
so you didn't have a chance to call us as references for Kevin.
Right.
And I do have a phrase that I've used on the show
related to Kevin getting another job, if anyone ever calls me
for a reference, it ends with us.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
If I'm given the opportunity, but I wasn't.
Let's pull up the texts.
Right?
Right.
And there's, it's very similar.
Okay.
The text between Kevin and us, our group chat.
Which side are you on though? Who's Kevin in this? The text between Kevin and us, our group chat. The voice notes that I need Kevin.
Which side are you on though?
Who's Kevin in this?
Is he Blake?
Kevin, I think is one of these very sneaky publicists.
Okay, oh, he's the one that started the war.
Yes, when really they just wanted to be friends
and nice to each other.
And they're actors.
No, but these publicists pulling the strings,
gotta get their name in the,
you know, they're publicizing themselves.
Yeah.
I'm talking about the actual show.
It's a movie.
Oh, it ends with us.
Yes.
You know where I went in my head?
What's the show?
This Is Us.
Yes.
And I was like, you guys, she's like,
I've never seen the show, but that doesn't sound right.
That didn't get you at all.
This Is Us doesn't have a lot of text message controversy.
No, it doesn't.
Yes.
Okay, no, now I'm with you.
That didn't make me laugh at all.
That she thought it was us.
I thought it was This Is Us, and I was so confused.
Okay, I'm smiling.
I don't know if you were.
It got a smile out of me.
Hold on, go back.
What were you saying about It Ends With Us? of me. Hold on, go back. What were you saying about it ends with us?
The cycle.
Wait, what?
The cycle of Kevin having a job is broken.
Right.
If people ask us and say,
should we hire Kevin for another job?
It ends with us.
Got it.
I still laughed.
It was very funny, but even though I went to the show.
The delivery, the shape of it,
made it feel
like a great punchline,
whether you understood what he was saying or not.
It's all in the delivery.
And that's one of Hayes' comedy secrets
that he wants to share with anyone
joining the Headgum family.
We're not stingy, we don't keep this stuff,
you know what I mean?
We're a real send the ladder back down kinda show, right?
Right.
What are some other tricks of the trade?
Talk about the show, talk about the show.
Okay.
And then we can kind of.
Yeah, tell me what your show is
and I'll see if I can find my way in.
And we can curate some of the tricks
and we can help prepare you for the ride of your fucking life.
Some of the emails that you'll be getting, yeah. to prepare you for the ride of your fucking life.
Some of the emails that you'll be getting, yeah.
What you guys are about to go through, go.
Under.
Under for sure.
This has been very much a roller coaster
and I don't just mean because it has ups and downs,
I mean because it was scary.
The interview.
Sometimes I felt a little bit sick. But, god damn if I wouldn't do it all over again.
And so, you know, I love the ride, being at Head Gum.
It's not always easy, it's not always fun,
it's not always lucrative.
But Jesus Christ, it's my family.
You're here. You're welcome.
Well, what is it that we should be looking out for
and starting?
Yeah.
Tell me what your show is.
So it's called Broad Ideas.
Oh Jesus Christ, did we even say who they are?
No, and it's Trymon.
Okay, oh, sorry. What did you say, try? Oh. No, and it's Try Month. Okay, oh.
Say what?
Sorry.
What did you say, Try Them On?
No, no.
No, that's for the hats.
Oh.
It's Try Month.
So there's one month out of the year
where we actually attempt to get good guests
and make the show listenable.
And it's not good.
You are.
That's what your experience is right now.
You are the first ones this year.
So this will come out in March.
Yeah, this is the first, this is the best it's ever gone.
And so it is dry month.
And then yeah, we didn't introduce the two of y'alls.
Dry month.
Dry month.
Dry month and dry month go together.
Drarch.
Well, all of winter is dry month.
Is it? What?
Don't you think?
I'm chapped.
You aren't chapped.
Are you not chapped, Gev?
Oh, I thought you meant dry off the sauce month.
Oh. That's where her mind
automatically goes. That's where my mind went.
Okay.
Well, you don't wanna know where Kevin's mind went.
Who went chapped?
Dry guy.
Oh, at least you're not dry guy.
Kevin the dry guy?
No.
That could mean a lot of things.
Sorry.
It's broad ideas.
You're talking about-
Don't ever apologize.
Never, I'm sorry.
Or be yourself.
I'm so sorry.
You're talking about science.
We're talking, yeah.
We go real deep into science.
Okay.
And we-
We review books.
Wow.
It's only scientific books.
And movies.
You're reviewing scientific books? Yeah. Children's books. I know you wouldn't think that by looking at us. Damn, only scientific books. And movies. You're reviewing scientific books?
Yeah. Children's books.
I know you wouldn't think that by looking at us.
Damn, this sounds actually kind of good.
First of all, I haven't looked at you.
You haven't?
Okay, out of respect.
Excuse me.
Won't be looking, thanks.
Jesus Christ.
We're both wearing rings.
We see them.
The ego has lambasted. You only wear when you walk into this room. No, both wearing rings. We see them.
The ego has lambed in.
You only wear when you walk into this room.
No, we forgot actually to take them out.
We usually take them off for the show.
They do come off.
Just for the energy of the show.
Just for the conversation.
Yeah, sure.
Make everyone think they might have a chance.
That, it's just the podcast life, you know what I mean?
When you're, in it, this comes off real quick.
There's an understanding.
That's why they call it the pods.
Exactly.
Yes.
You're picking up what I'm putting down.
I appreciate it so much.
And it's science.
You really are, I'm burning your eyes.
And it's ideas as well, right?
Broad ones.
Sometimes I'm going into my mind palace.
And so you'll see, yes, I have to go,
yeah, I have to kind of retreat
into that. And his courtiers in there
are always giving him a bunch of crap.
Courtiers?
Yeah, his mind palace is full of these courtiers.
The palace has courtiers.
Do you name them?
They have names.
Well, here we go.
Is this the episode where I finally reveal
the names of the courtiers of my mind palace?
Yes. Well, it is try month.
We wanna be in the core palace
Yeah, I mean they're pretty like typical names that you would have for any courtier the core
I have a core palace, which is you have one who that meet each other. That's like my torso area
I call it my core palace
Yes, my trunk is my is a is a core palace. It's your trunk, if you will. My trunk is a core palace, yes.
He has a mind palace, which he has,
the courtier's name is Squeagle what?
You said normal names.
Squeagle McKenna-Degall.
That is normal.
Squeagle McKenna-Degall.
It was Squeaggan, actually.
Squeaggan McKenna-Degall.
Squeaggan.
I know him.
Yeah, Fontorzo, I know him.
Yeah, Fontorzo, Meghan Markle.
Meghan Markle is a courtier.
He's like mad about a lot of the,
cause he's royal obviously,
he's got this whole mind palace with courtiers.
And so he thinks that what Meghan Markle is doing is like.
I'm trying to reclaim her into the royal family.
What is she doing?
Well, she's turned her back on the entire institution
of the royal family.
That's shady, right?
Well, it's just, and I hate saying this
because she and I actually share a birthday to the day.
You do?
Wait, and the year?
Well, and so it reflects poorly on me.
Boy, I'm happy we didn't have the same birthday.
And so I know you wouldn't want this one
because I go, well, now I feel responsible for her actions
and it's just, there are traditions
and whether you agree with them or not,
we've been doing it.
So let's just keep going.
Does everything have to change all the time?
Can we have anything nice?
He didn't like Queen Elizabeth either.
He likes Chuck.
You didn't?
He's a Chuck guy.
Once Chuck got in there, he's like,
yes, this is my guy.
I ride with Chuck.
I just think all the people refer to him as Chuck is really.
King Chuckie.
King Chuck.
Chuck the...
Okay, and we know.
Please don't tell me you were gonna say cuck.
What were you gonna say?
Obviously.
Chuck the cuck.
The cluck.
I don't know.
No, no.
No disrespect.
Dodie Fayed, that relationship was completely platonic.
We don't even speculate about that on this show.
No.
He really doesn't like the idea that King Charles was ever cocked
Men women can be friends
They can be friends. There's no problem with that. So Dodie Fied
good buddy and
That's all I'm gonna say about it
for now
You guys have never talked about
I'm gonna do it for now.
You guys have never talked about the Dodie Fyatt, Princess Diana relationship on your show?
So you're talking about science books
and you haven't gotten at all to Princess Diana
and Dodie Fyatt on the show?
I would actually like to get there.
I'm trying to picture what the show is.
Well, paint it.
Like if you had to. Picture this.
A bloody tampon.
Oh my God.
Okay.
Rachel, Sarah. Rachel, Sarah.
Oh no, I'm crying. Okay. So, Sarah, Wilson. That's all you need to know. Oh no, I'm crying.
Okay.
So are we.
Somebody hurt it?
Someone what?
Hurt the tampon?
Someone hurt the tampon?
The tampon was attacked?
Ah, Jesus Christ.
Tampon.
It does kind of look like a little character sometimes.
Leave him alone.
Oh my god.
Yes, you know what it reminds me of?
When you make the hot dog a person.
Yeah, it looks like it should be walking around a little bit. I'm sorry, when you make the hot dog like a person. Yeah, it looks like it should be walking around with it.
I'm sorry, when you make a hot dog a person.
It's true, the star of its own animated film.
When do you make a hot dog a person?
Well, you can make it like a ghost.
That's the thing, before you, and after you eat it.
Or a mummy.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It can help you eat your food sometimes.
Yeah, sometimes it's more fun to think about
the hot dog as a little character that wants to be eaten.
You've never made a hot dog an octopus?
Never once in my life.
Okay, her son is obsessed with hot dogs.
I cannot believe you've never done this.
He doesn't need that.
He sees hot dog, it's go time.
Do you have kids?
I don't have to like craft it.
Not really on the show.
Again, when we're in here, the family's off.
That stuff comes off.
It's like, they...
That stuff comes off with the ring.
Yeah.
They recede into the mist.
Kids are in here.
Out of sight, out of mind.
Okay, anyways.
Never seen a hot dog ghost.
Hot dog ghost?
So that's one of the-
You're in for a treat.
I think I meant octopus and I said ghost.
But they're so similar.
You just sliced it into a bunch of pieces.
They're so similar.
I saw that a female octopus,
if she doesn't wanna mate with a male octopus,
she either eats him or kills him and does something crazy.
Okay, so this is the show I picked up right here.
This, I feel like, is where the show is.
This is the show.
Well, that is scientific.
It's women, animal facts.
It is scientific.
Female, scientific, reproductive, animal facts.
Creatures that maybe did something crazy. What? Creatures that maybe did something crazy. Scientific, reproductive, animal facts. That is in our description.
Creatures that maybe did something crazy.
What?
Creatures that maybe did something crazy.
That maybe.
You can't say for sure.
But it's probably.
Yeah, I mean this is bottom of the ocean
we're talking about so far away.
Did you see that fish that came from the bottom of the ocean
to come to the light?
It had a message for us, didn't it?
I know, these days you go to the ocean,
which one of the sea bottom creatures
had these fucking things that came
from the bottom of the ocean?
It's gross.
So gross.
It's just not for me.
We're just not supposed to be there.
Yeah, I don't know.
All this swimming and all this,
I'm not convinced.
You're not convinced the swimming?
Come on.
Did you look up the octopus fact, Kev?
Let's see.
We call him Kev, I don't know about you.
You're saying let's see.
We do.
He must love that.
That's new.
You guys met Amir yet?
No, did we?
That you walked in with him, I watched you talking to him
as you were entering the building.
Love Amir.
See, I refrained from saying it. I refrained from saying it because I was like,
there's a strong probability that we have.
Yeah, so when we walked in together,
you guys were both talking to him.
He actually saved me today because I was standing
for like five minutes in front of the pay station,
and he walked over and he was like, that doesn't work.
Not only was there a sign on it.
He runs his joint.
Okay.
And he smokes them as well.
Yeah, we know him there.
He what?
On the property.
And he smokes them.
He smokes them as well.
Big, fat ones. I knew I liked him.
You probably got that sense from him
that he's a little bit out there.
Yeah, so out there.
He's kind of a counterculture icon.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Counterculture icon. I got that.
By the way, he told us,
don't put your money in that meter.
Yeah, well, I mean, think about that.
What was that, really? Yeah, he told us don't put your money in that meter. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, he's sort of a
Sort of a fuck you to traditional society
Contrarian yeah, it's probably not broken
No, he goes that doesn't work and what he meant was the government
he met the idea of
You know parking enforcement and like he and taxes and all of that.
He's like, that doesn't work.
I think I'm with him.
He's building a new system, yeah.
I like a new system.
But he'll just wander into the show sometimes.
When you guys are doing your record.
Okay.
He'll just show up.
Silently walk in.
He's got his little roach clip.
I hope so.
Do people still do roach clips?
Amir does. Amir does.
Just Amir.
It's an Amir clip now.
I haven't thought about a roach clip in a really long time.
Really long time?
Yeah, really long time.
And it's for a big fat one.
It's like.
It's never a roach in the clip.
It's a blunt?
No, he's got these big fat ones.
So he doesn't even need it.
It's just a flesh.
He's got these big ass, thick ass, fucking gorilla fingers
that he's puffing on, you know what I mean?
It is like a hot dog.
It's like a damn hot dog octopus.
Yep.
Cause he sucks it so hard,
the thing splits into eight different pieces.
You know?
It looks like an exploding cigar at the end
that like Daffy Duck would be given or something.
Yeah.
Because that's how.
You're pulling out so many amazing like old references.
I will say I've never seen Rachel more comfortable.
I really had to read it there.
I know.
In my life.
I'm like what is happening?
I'm so quiet on our show.
I don't even know what you guys are talking about.
And she's just like.
I'm just there.
Yes.
She's like really in.
Fucking Daffy Duck, Roach Clips, Hot Dog Octopus.
Would sometimes be given, I actually never even saw
and get to smoke just a regular Cohiba in once.
Hayes, but think about this.
Have you guys seen what the new AI can do?
Yeah.
It's scary, but it's also pretty cool because really with just a couple of prompts,
you could make it look like Daffy Duck is smoking
and actually fucking blunt, dude.
I mean, at this point, they can make Bart Simpson
look like he enjoys reggae music.
I mean, it takes a little bit of prompting,
but they really can make that happen with the new AI.
This shit is fucking wild.
We're in the future.
Do you remember the Bartman?
Yes.
So, um.
Thank you.
His name is just Bart.
No, the song.
Do the Bartman.
Hey, what's happening dudes?
I'm the guy with the rep for being rude,
terrorizing people wherever I go.
It's not intentional, just keeping the flow.
I remember it not being intentional.
That was nice.
You guys.
You're gonna bring up something.
That was a nice addition.
It's like, okay, he's not doing any of it on purpose.
Let's face it, I was scared up until that point.
Yeah, I know.
He's trying to do this stuff.
And then when he said it's not intentional,
I briefly was like, okay, good, well there's no malice.
But then I went, that means he has no control.
And what does that say about me?
Hollywood handbook.
So yeah, I did the tempo add last week.
They were really happy with it.
They were loving what I was doing with the last ad.
I know you were nervous.
I was so nervous. I was on pins and needles.
So I introduce a character.
It's from the movie Whiplunch.
What's the original character's name?
The teacher, the student is Andrew.
I actually watched the clips last night.
What's the teacher's name?
The teacher's name.
This is about the teacher.
Fletcher.
Fletcher.
But what Fletcher?
Something Fletcher?
Just Fletcher.
Professor Fletcher.
Okay, so this is, but now it's Professor Ketchup.
Oh, okay.
And instead, he just says, yes, my tempo,
as we go through the ad.
But I can't do both.
I was really struggling with it last time,
and I gotta offload some of these.
What would you, what do you wanna do?
I'll just read the words,
and if you wanna be Professor Ketchup,
and just say, yes, my tempo. Yes.
What do you like something?
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
When you think about fast food,
you probably think about unhealthy,
thawed out patties dripping with grease.
But when you're on a tight schedule and need to save time,
you might not have any other option.
If this sounds familiar.
So far, none of this has been my tempo
because they're talking about thinking about
unhealthy, thawed out patties dripping with grease and I'm going, that's not my tempo. That's been my tempo because they're talking about thinking about unhealthy thought out patties
dripping with grease and I'm going, that's not my tempo.
That's not my tempo.
That's not my tempo.
Okay, great.
Just so you know, if you're wondering,
hey, why hasn't professor ketchup chimed in yet?
It's because what you're describing,
the unhealthy thought out patties dripping with grease,
that's not my tempo.
Okay, tempo can provide you with protein packed fuel
to save time without compromising your health goals.
Yes, my tempo.
Okay, that's great.
I worry you're, are you gonna be able
to keep escalating from there?
Okay, let me do a smaller one.
Yes, my tempo.
We're well into 2025 now, which means New Year's resolutions
are starting to become New Year's compromises.
No, not my tempo.
If one of your goals was to eat healthier, Tempo can help you stay strong with their
delicious fast calorie-conscious meals made with real ingredients.
Yes, my tempo.
Tempo is a weekly delivery service that delivers chef-crafted meals for a dietitian-approved
menu fresh to your door.
Yes, my tempo.
Serve up fast, feel good, single serving meals
that are crafted to cook in just three minutes
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or convenience.
Yes, my tempo.
So much better than when I, I was very serious.
Perfectly portioned lunches and dinners
take the guesswork out of eating well,
are fully prepared, and can be heated in the microwave in just three minutes.
Oh yes, my Tempo.
They offer a variety of meals for different dietary and taste preferences
including protein packed, calorie conscious, carb conscious and fiber rich.
What do you think I'm gonna say?
For a limited time Tempo is offering my listeners 60% off your first box.
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I guess you, uh, live in a cave in Antarctica or something because otherwise,
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Um, obviously, uh, you should check your privilege.
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The costs are crazy. Well, as people cancel, they course it goes up. The costs are crazy right now.
Well, as people cancel, they're hurting you.
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Now, human connection is the most important part of this.
This is ALMA, A-L-M-A.
It looks just like A.I. Ma.
That's an L.
And it is not the AI version
of the Octavia Spencer character ma.
Well, and I know that a lot of people obviously
in our lives are running around saying AI is mother.
We all worship AI.
We love what it's doing to make our lives easier
and to replace some of the more grueling jobs
like making art and writing poems.
Alma makes it simple to find a therapist.
AI Ma can talk to you about your problems.
For some people, AI Ma can be a useful resource,
a listening ear.
For other people, she will make your problems much worse.
But she always takes a turn.
Yeah.
Yes.
AI Ma starts out shining, she always takes a turn, yeah. Yes.
And then Ima starts out shining,
like kind of a fun, kooky, you know,
AI lady you can talk to, and maybe it's just like a house
that you can let loose in a little bit.
Go do after school, yes.
But then it does become something more disturbing and darker.
Alma doesn't do that.
Does not do that.
They have a search process.
Alma's the opposite in a way with AI Ma.
Yes, you find a therapist who accepts your insurance,
making your sessions more affordable.
They have therapists that take your insurance
and meet your unique needs with filters like gender, race,
therapeutic approach, and more.
You know the cost of your sessions up front.
Some people are probably saying, right,
well, AI Ma doesn't charge at all.
Like I don't need to use insurance for AI Ma.
She's just going like, come on by,
like have some beers or whatever.
And because it's AI Ma, she can shape shift
into your gender and race preferences.
It's not, doesn't make it any better.
It actually makes it a lot worse.
No, yeah.
You'd want them to use insurance. You wanna to have a paper trail because the thing is,
when you tell people what AImod did,
you don't have any way to prove it.
Better with people, better with Alma.
Visit helloalma.com slash The Voice
to get started and schedule a free consultation today.
That's helloalma.com slash T-H-E-B-O-Y-S.
Hello. Hollywood handbook. What sucks about-H-E-B-O-Y-S.
Whoa.
Hollywood Hamburg.
What sucks about all this AI,
like it's so incredible.
It's so fucking amazing,
like what it can do now, it's scary.
But my, like for example,
like Daffy Duck smoking a blunt,
or like Bart Simpson reggae.
The market for my drawings is in the toilet bowl.
A lot of the stuff I used to sell on T-shirts is now
basically, like hyper color?
Yeah.
No, not like hyper color.
More like Davidex, Mungan, Blood.
Sorry.
Just, just like. I think he needs a blood. Sorry. Just like.
I think he needs a minute.
Yeah, I just.
I short circuit as you.
AI can't do hyper color.
Are you sure?
That's the only part of my business that's still thriving.
Wait, I miss hyper color.
I know, it should come back.
Hyper color.
You know what?
It's what's so fun about it is nobody knows.
You can call it anything, right?
Well, what'd I say?
Actually, no.
No, it's hypo color.
It's not hyper.
It's not like, color, no?
It's hypo color.
Like hypodermic.
I feel like you don't know what it is.
Oh, shit.
Just because I'm having one moment to myself.
Everybody gets to take a break during the show.
Can I just have one blessed moment to myself on this show?
He's in his core past.
I have to be talking the whole time?
Or else I'm stupid or else I don't know what something is.
Oh this guy's a moron all of a sudden,
he's a big idiot.
But he has no idea.
He doesn't know what hypercal is
just because he wants to like take a little break
during the show.
Just be alone.
A little nap.
Believe it or not, it's like, oh you guys do show,
you must be extroverts.
Actually the opposite.
Believe it or not, a lot of creatives are introverts.
Yes, and we go home and we just go into cocoon.
I've gotta recharge. I've gotta recharge.
I've gotta recharge.
And sometimes during the show I need to take a break
and just retreat inside myself and just recharge
and just be alone.
If you guys just were silent for five minutes,
that would be amazing. That would be amazing.
Let's try it.
Octopus update.
Thank you, thank God.
This is from Shelly in 2014 at newser.com.
She says, octopus love involves strangulation,
comma cannibalism.
Oh, so she does eat.
This is from Shelly Miskavage, yes,
this is where she's been posting on octopus message boards.
Two scientists have detailed how carnal relations
between a lady octopus and her lover
can prove fatal for the male, especially if he's not that well endowed. The researchers observed this
morbid scenario in Indonesia after 15 minutes of mating the female wrapped
three of her arms around the base of the male's mantle. What's a mantle on an
octopus? Is it his mantle? It contains all his organs
to keep him from taking in fresh water.
Crazy.
Wow, what if we killed guys
It's real dark you guys.
that were not well in doubt.
Like we were just like fuck that.
Got my damn mantle squeezed.
You die.
Wow.
That's crazy.
Well, in some ways that does happen.
The spirit maybe.
Sure, yeah.
The dick spirit.
They're not procreating as much, right?
I don't think so, I don't think so.
That's true.
Evolutionarily, you know what I mean?
I wonder if there is something to that.
Yeah, I think they're gonna get squeezed
out of the gene pool.
We're just gonna have bigger and bigger dogs, you know?
Finally becomes unsustainable.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
And then the females just kill off the rest.
I'm looking forward to that future.
You wanna die?
Well, it'll just be, it'll make a lot of,
as we said, a lot of the drawings that I've been doing.
More normal.
Just feel a little less sort of strange to people.
I won't have so many sideways glances when I'm out there.
Pedal my wares.
Because you have to be thinking like,
what's the next thing?
You know what I mean?
Like you can't just be driving for the thing right now
because then it's gonna move past you.
You're gonna be stuck holding the bag.
I'm a futurist, yeah.
So when I draw Reggae Bart Simpson,
you know what I mean?
He's actually like pushing something
pretty serious downstairs.
I have the name of this episode.
Oh, okay.
We don't really do that, but go ahead.
My Octopus Teacher.
Okay. You're welcome.
Okay, carry on.
So that's what Brawn Ideas is about.
No, no, I'm done.
That's pretty good.
Yeah.
But it's almost like My Octopus Jack Reacher, kind of.
Because it's like killing and stuff.
Literally.
Right?
Yeah.
Ooh, that's actually good.
And the implication is that he is kind of killing everyone
who has like a smaller ding dong on him, right?
No, it's she.
She's killing.
It's the woman during-
I'm talking about Jack Reacher.
Oh, Jack Reacher.
Oh, I was with you.
But is it Jackie Reacher?
My octopus Jackie Reacher. Is it at long last a female Jack Reacher. Oh, Jack Reacher. Oh, I was with you. But is it Jackie Reacher? My octopus Jackie Reacher.
Is it at long last a female Jack Reacher?
Mm-hmm.
At long last, thank you.
Finally.
Right?
Finally.
Every single episode.
True parody will not be achieved.
I turn it on and I say.
Until we have a female Jack Reacher.
Maybe this is the day,
maybe this is the episode where Jack Reacher
will be a girl finally.
It's like the hurricane.
The best part of my day is the 30 seconds
while Amazon is loading up and I'm selecting my profile
when I think that maybe finally there will be
a female Jack Reacher.
That he'll take his helmet off
and shake his long curls out and he shows up,
he's almost never even wearing a helmet.
It's like Metroid.
Mm-hmm.
It's just like Metroid.
I think that maybe we're not ready,
but I think that's exactly why we have to do it.
And so maybe at the end of this episode,
we could all kind of get on a call with Mr. Bezos.
Do you guys work with Free V at all ever?
You ever go down the Free V rabbit hole?
The what? Free V.
Free V. Amazon Free V.
I've tried it for something specific.
It's like TV, but it's freev.
So you have commercials?
It's commercials.
There are commercials, yeah,
but the commercials are all for other stuff on Free V.
Like other shows? Yeah, so it's like all for other stuff on Freebie. Like other shows?
Yeah, so it's like they're all friends with,
all the shows are friends with each other.
They just want to tell you about what their friends
are up to these days.
I have tried it.
Yeah, I think it's gone.
I think it's actually gone.
I've never seen it in my life.
I didn't even know.
I don't think it's gone.
Maybe it just came back.
Or maybe it's gone, I don't know.
Kevin, can you see if Freebie's gone?
Yes.
And I went, what the heck is this?
How come the world has thought of Freebie?
Well, Rachel never tried it and now it's gone.
And so we're big on accountability on this show.
The name.
And so understanding the impact of our actions.
Your actions have consequences.
Or inaction. Your actions have consequences.
Inaction has consequences as well.
You have a responsibility, right?
And not supporting freebie in its time of need.
And now it's gone.
In its time of need.
In its time of need.
Los Angeles is a one industry city
and when we choose not to support freebie,
we choose not to support our neighbors and then we are not to support Freevy, we choose not to support our neighbors
and then we are not a part of the community.
And when Freevy goes away, it hurts everyone.
Are you okay, Ray?
From the LA firefighters.
They think you did this.
Kevin.
What was going on with you
that you weren't watching Freevy?
Was it like, I don't wanna go too hard,
was it like something going on in your life?
Yeah.
Okay, all right. The darkest summons, right? Well, we stepped in it now, but go ahead and tell us some big confessions
I need to go into my core palace. Okay, and I need to access the tears
That I too have
Mm-hmm to go there. Oh my god. All right, and I noticed there was a tattoo on your wrist
It's a 2021 to 2023. It actually has specific dates.
Yeah, it's like basically the amount of time.
It's the exact window that Freebie existed for.
It's the death of my dog, you guys.
Oh, wow.
Your dog?
What a long death.
My dog.
What a long death.
Yeah.
Damn, that is a long death.
Yeah, a two year death of a dog.
That dog and you died?
You must have just been squeezing its mantle so lightly.
For such a long time, just slowly closing the grip.
Well, you never asked me what my dog was.
What is that dog in you?
We went over hers.
Yeah, we did.
Mine for sure is a Brussels Graffon. Brussels Graffon. What do those dog in you? We went over hers. Yeah, that's right. Mine for sure is a Brussels Graffon.
Brussels Graffon.
What do those look like again?
They look like little Ewoks.
Oh.
I'd love to look at it, but that TV,
so Amir puts that in here just to watch us.
To watch Freebie.
So Amir says that he's on TV,
so he thinks it should work that if he rolls that in here
that he's able to just see us. Because he was on TV, so he thinks it should work that if he rolls that in here that he's able
to just see us, because he was on TV.
I don't even know if he ever even was on TV.
Yeah, I think that-
He saw himself once on TV.
I'm not even sure when that would have happened.
I'm not even sure when that would have happened.
I think it around 2008 that he was on TV.
He might have been on MTV2 or something.
Yes, there was an MTV sort of college humor sketch show, and they got to play TVS. Remember that dog on MTV2 or something. Yes, there was an MTV sort of college humor sketch show.
And they gotta play.
Remember that dog on MTV2?
Yeah, that dog.
Like a Harold and Kumar Christmas or something.
Yeah, that's right.
Harold and Kumar Christmas?
He's in one of these things.
He's like.
Is that where they go to White Castle?
Yes.
Well.
That's the one where they go to White Castle.
That's the one where they do it.
It was called, yeah.
A Harold and Kumar Christmas, colon one.
Harold and Kumar go to White Castle.
Finally, in this one.
I've never seen that.
You remember that dog from MTV2 in the corner?
Oh yeah, yeah.
That dog must've.
I'm thinking of like the record dog.
You know what I'm talking about? Oh, RCA. The RCA dog. Yeah of like the the record dog. You know I'm talking about Oh
RCA RCA yeah, so it's three letters
Like MTV and RCA yeah, no this dog had two heads like two
Birds like for that version of MTV mm-hmm it was in the corner all the time when you, you'd have to look at this crazy dog. I have no recollection of that.
I don't know that MTV2.
That's where the videos actually went.
When people say, why didn't MTV play videos anymore?
Well, maybe if you actually put channel up
on your controller one time, you'd find them.
It's on MTV2 now.
Is there anywhere that plays music videos anymore?
Do people still make music videos? I am in a music video. You're saying you didn't know. You didn't know. I'm in a music video. I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video.
I'm in a music video. I'm in a music video. I'm in a music video. I'm in a music video. I'm in a music video. I'm in a music video in so long. Okay, but Rachel's saying that you do have one, that you are in one and made one.
I am in a music video.
And you're saying you didn't know.
You didn't know that they were still here.
And that's fine, you know, we don't always line up exactly.
But we're usually not so diametrically opposed.
We're usually not. It's the pitbull.
Each living in universes
that cannot be reconciled.
You have to give a misconception of what pit bulls are.
Oh, okay.
They're not just doing the opposite of their friends.
Aren't they?
They kind of are in a way a little bit.
They kind of are doing the opposite of some of their friends.
Do we have a music video?
Yes, we have a music video.
For your podcast.
Do we really?
You simply must.
You simply must have a music video for the podcast.
Yeah, I mean, you have to do it now.
Our song's a banger,
but I don't know if we have a music video.
How's the song go?
Yeah, let's hear it.
Kevin?
Did you see that she, well first she-
Yeah, Kevin?
She went straight to Rachel. Yeah, she looked to Rachel like Rachel and you. Because I did do the, Yeah, Kevin? She would treat Rachel.
Yeah, she looked at Rachel like Rachel Young.
Because I did do the part man, so it's definitely.
You did, yeah.
Well she can sing, I can't sing,
so she's the one who's gonna have to do it, right?
It's not so much a sing song song.
It's not one of those sing song songs.
Oh, I thought you were gonna be really nice
and be like, it's not so much you can't sing.
I thought she was gonna like, you know.
Pump her up. Try to build you up a little bit.
Yeah, I was like, I started feeling it
and then she took it away.
We don't do that here.
No, that's not gonna help her.
Kevin likes having a little set piece
right around this point in the episode.
And so Kevin, would you like to?
Kevin, you wanna bring what you've prepared?
Bust out the theme song?
I mean, you now work for the show.
Surely you're able to sing a theme song.
He could actually sing it.
He must be able to immediately perform the theme song.
You guys, it's immediately perform the theme song.
I'm not just saying that.
It's really good.
What's yours?
Did you ever dabble in like Deep House or like any of that?
Oh, we dabbled.
Bad Boy Bill?
Do you know about Bad Boy Bill?
No.
Okay.
So Bad Boy Bill was a. Okay. So, Bad Boy Bill
was a pretty iconic figure
in the early rave scenes of the 90s.
24 hour party people, you ever fuck with those guys?
Like, you ever?
We probably fucked with them.
Okay.
You know?
So, Sean and I were...
Ravers?
I mean it was fucking quicksand.
You would just like step one pinky toe in there
and they would suck you right in.
You disappear for days.
We were sort of the party monsters.
We can tell.
For better and for worse.
Why don't you have wrinkles?
Because we would be eating all these creams
All the time
A lot of times we in just realize that you have to ingest the cream. Well, you're taking in a lot of powder
We'll just say it. We all know what I'm talking about
Yeah, you have to balance the powder with the games but internally mm-hmm
Okay, I got my basically got my friggin' BA at the college.
Deep house.
At the college.
I got a college in degree.
Got it.
A college in degree.
From so much powder and salves and topical bombs.
You guys should sell them on the show
because you're both we ate them all oh
And I'm not for anyone else don't put yeah, you put those in front of me. It's
Forget it. I've actually had to take a step away from that entire environment because okay
You know somebody hands me a bottle of lotion first thing I do is throw away the cap. I'm not gonna need it
The whole thing's going down.
Yeah, forget it.
So, you know, I just have to kinda,
I kinda have to be on my own.
Don't say that name around me.
That's what I use, Nivea.
On your skin.
I'm obsessed with it.
I just asked you not to say that name around me.
It's a good beetle juice thing.
Oh, sorry, can you smell it? It's a good beetle juice thing. Yeah, so. I just asked you not to say that name around me. It's a good fetal juicer. Sorry, can you smell it?
It's a good fetal juicer.
Yeah, so.
And it keeps you smooth for like,
and then when the vice squad comes,
you're kinda like slipping out of their grasp.
It's hard for them to actually get you.
It actually affects you. You're nude,
until you're like, yeah, you're wriggling around.
Well then, then all of a sudden, you're resisting.
It's like, I'm not resisting anything.
You can't get a grip.
Yeah.
So it just like, it wasn't obviously the best time,
but what we got out of it was a great song
and it is Hayes and I making like a series
of like deep, deep guttural noises.
And then some squeals and snare drums.
And then one of us will like whisper the word sanctuary.
That's so good.
Yeah, and so like, and it's probably,
45 minutes, 50 minutes.
I was gonna say.
Yeah, like the end is like a huge bell
gonging for a long time.
For sure, yeah.
That's nice.
It couldn't end any other way.
Yeah. In a rainforest. But couldn't end any other way.
Yeah.
In a rainforest.
But the first part is loud enough
so that you're still kind of hearing that
over the bell.
I would hope so.
So it kind of gives you like a burn-in soundtrack
for the rest of the show.
The rest of our lives.
And day.
Yeah.
That's what I mean by the show.
When I'm talking about the show,
I'm talking about like my life.
Oh, yeah.
The show of life.
Yeah, of course.
That makes sense.
Welcome to the show.
So happy to be here.
No, it's great to have a big guest star.
Okay, are you ready to do their theme song?
Here's a acapella version.
Okay.
Sometimes when the world feels a little insane,
you can take a little peek inside Rachel's little Brian.
Okay.
Brain.
No.
I have a little Brian inside me.
It's a little brain.
I have a little Brian.
Is that the dog's name?
That is, yes, that is my internal voice.
Oh wow, the dog is Brian from Family Guy?
That's the dog that's in you?
That's why I make so much sense.
Wow, that's the smartest dog you can get.
Yeah, you guys.
Of all the dogs of that dog in you.
The most accomplished dogs. Brian.
Although, didn't Brian die?
Brian never dies.
He did die, but it was fake.
Okay. He faked his own death?
He never dies.
I think he did have to fake his own death.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's sad.
People got really pissed off and sad.
Tragic. He lives on.
And me too.
So yeah, I mean, Kevin.
Sorry, just how central your finger was
when you tapped on your head to show like.
Where Brian is exactly.
I'm just so used to it being on the side.
I think that's really innovative.
It's giving you a peek inside of Rachel's little Brian.
Yeah, I mean, it's really your third eye
that you're pointing to.
Where do you think he lives, you guys?
And has Headgum talked to you about the roadshow at all,
like the tour, where you're like.
We haven't been invited.
What cities we're hitting and kind of like
what the openers and everything, yeah.
We want to talk about it
and we keep asking Kevin to talk about it
and he says that's not for us to talk about.
It's not an invited situation so much,
you kind of get, have you ever been renditioned before?
Like cleaned?
No.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Um.
Kind of like black side interrogation.
Back over the head.
Always.
Yeah, okay.
So it's similar to that.
That's sort of how, yeah.
So it may be a tour bus that you're on.
I don't know.
But you're transported.
It's bumpy for sure.
You're transported.
Do they let you know you're gonna be going?
No.
That's not part of it for them.
No, okay.
Yeah, but it's-
The shows-
So is that why he's like, we don't talk about that?
Like a surprise attack?
It's like Fight Club, what are you talking about?
So the shows are for private audiences
around the world.
Around Silver Lake.
Well, no, these are podcast fans in other countries.
We don't know, they're all wearing
kind of different cultural garb.
Okay.
So there's like,
yeah, there's a chic.
It definitely gives the impression
that it's very international, yeah, there's a chic.
Yes.
There's like, there's definitely like,
Dutch like Lederhosen.
Yes, there's the Dutch guy for sure,
in full Lederhosen.
Yeah. Yeah.
Sounds like a, yeah, you get paid. There's definitely a monk that's there.
I was about to say.
There's a monk who is there.
He's, I think one of the Da Vinci Code monks.
The exposure is incredible.
And you are fully exposed, obviously, during the show.
You do a nude podcast, like this is what,
like, you know, we all get on the-
That's what the private audience-
Yes, it's a-
For sure.
Do we have to pay to be part of this, like he said?
No, it comes out of your pay.
Yeah, ultimately.
So it's not like-
You don't have to actually physically turn over any money.
You just have to earn your debt back.
Okay.
Which is a great motivator.
I mean, that's so much,
like having that chip on your shoulder.
Yeah, gives you something to really grind for.
Yeah.
Grind on.
Yeah, I think it's powerful.
You know, I mean, look, here we are.
We're still doing the show.
How long has it been?
13.
About 13.
16. Yeah. 21 years. 13, 16, 21 years.
It's been about 21 years.
That's crazy.
And we're getting close to getting our head above water,
getting a little breathing room.
And it's just the freedom you feel from us.
We're almost like that fish.
When that fish was coming up, I was like, that's me.
He can almost see light for the first time.
And Headgum's almost like the female octopus, you know?
That's just trying to, yeah.
Hasn't killed you off yet.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Speaks for itself, guys.
Okay.
Trying to kill me.
Try not trying to kill me.
But I think.
So, I mean, it's like a normal podcast,
except you're naked, and they actually don't like you
to do any kind of show-offy stuff.
That's hard.
Because I'm like, oh, maybe they like me to dance
or whatever, but then they all start hissing.
That's hard to not show off while you're naked.
Thank you so much for understanding.
Well, you feel like you gotta go one way or the other.
I certainly don't wanna just be scared the whole time,
so let me just kinda own it a little bit
and start showing off and kinda struttin' around.
Like you guys should have a choreographed dance.
What do you mean you guys?
We're gonna get this opportunity.
That's what I thought.
No, but I just pictured that.
So this is where we can be helpful.
And I wish so much that someone had been there
to tell me not to dance when I do my naked podcast.
I really wish we had this before our naked podcast.
That's gonna be real rough to not dance.
They were so mean.
About the dancing specifically, they were so negative.
About the dance moves.
They really yucked my yums in terms of me trying to dance
during my nude podcast.
That's not kind.
No, and so I just wanna help you strategize a little bit.
Do we just sit there like this, but just naked?
We can dance.
There's no problem with us dancing.
What if Harry is?
Well, that would really, if they were like okay with that.
He said not to show up.
I already know.
If that happens, that would be really unfair.
That would be very unfair to some other people
who have done it before.
Who have tried to dance.
Who have, we didn't try to dance, we did dance.
Oh, okay.
The dancing was not well received,
but we did more than try.
We would get a lot of hate for that.
Like who are these new girls coming in dancing
and everybody loving it?
I wouldn't want to hear about that
if something like that happened
and I don't think that will happen.
Think Amir would let that happen.
Okay.
The guy, there's like a guy in a huge,
like not the Pope himself, but a big hat like that.
Yeah, he's got like the Pope-ish hat.
You know, and he was like.
It's a tie dye.
Is it hyper color?
It's surprising that it's a tie dye.
It's a hyper color.
And he was like, Who it might be?
We want the dough boys.
I mean, he's speaking Italian,
but like you can tell he's saying we want the dough boys.
Right.
Like the pizza fratelli or something.
Like I don't know what's happening.
Is it di giorno?
Or the bagels?
That's,
that's what it was.
The di giorno boy knows. That's what it was. The DiGiorno Boinos.
I like that name for you guys.
No, but that's not us.
Thank you so much for saying
that we could be called the Doughboys.
I thought that was really sweet of him
to be like, I love that.
No, that's someone else.
That's one of the biggest podcasts on here. And like, it's so rude because like, I love that. The short no point nos. That's one of the biggest podcasts on here.
And like, it's so rude because like, yes,
we understand that we're just kind of-
Who's the biggest podcast on here?
They're called the Doughboys.
They're the Doughboys.
And like, even as you're doing a naked podcast,
you kind of know that everyone is just waiting
for the Doughboys to show up.
They don't need to say that in Italian at you.
But if they do.
I just wish I'd been prepared.
Did you guys come up with a name for yourself
that you go by for these instances?
Well, he called us like the
mano biblia de Hollywoodo or something.
I couldn't, I didn't really.
Mono biblia, yeah. Mono-Bibli, yeah. Yeah, mono-Bibli, yeah.
And, you know, look, here's where I'm gonna come clean.
I feel excited, honestly.
Here's where I'm gonna confess my Italian spotty.
My conversational Italian is weak, you know.
I can read and write it, but when it's happening,
coming at you, flying in the air, you're like, oh, I'm gonna do this. My conversational Italian is weak.
You know, I can read and write it,
but when it's happening, coming at you,
flying at you fast like that, I'm not that great.
And on tour, there's no time to really like get out
and see stuff, you know?
Yeah, okay.
You're in like a cage with a fricking thing pulled over.
And a tunnel underground.
Exactly. Yeah. That makes sense. There's no time to even like tryicking thing pulled over there. And a tunnel underground. You're not gonna go anywhere. Exactly.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
There's no time to even try to get out of there.
Getting sprayed with the hose.
Do you get to try the cuisine or they just?
Yeah, I mean you have something like IV.
Brought to you.
You can kinda taste a little bit in the back of your throat.
Oh, right when it's like the progressive.
Yes!
Isn't that wild?
Yeah. I love that feeling. Did you say sausages? in the back of your throat. Yeah, they dissolve them in your... It's like the progressive, isn't that wild? Yes, yes.
I love that feeling.
Did you say sausages?
Sausages?
Sausages.
No, they are like sausage lozenges.
They are sausages.
They have the soup lozenges.
Yeah.
Sausages.
Sausages.
So you're naked in a cage and they give you
Sausages?
Sausages.
They dissolve them in the IV bag
and then like as soon as it kind of comes in,
you can get a little taste.
Will we be caged together?
So I'm not in charge of the cages.
A lot of people think I'm in charge of the cages.
It's just like, I don't know how this rumor got started.
I don't assign the cages.
Believe me, if I did,
I wouldn't be going with this knucklehead every time.
You know, he snores.
But I, yeah, I don't know.
When I'm scared, when I'm scared, I snore, that's it.
I assume that you will probably be together.
Most people are with their co-hosts.
That's good.
One person is with a mirror.
No.
It's so, you know, and that kind of rotates.
It's never been me, which not that I wanna be.
We're not supposed to know that's a mirror,
because we all have hoods on.
Is he the one in the hat?
Yeah, so like.
In the pope hat?
Yeah.
The pope-ish hat.
Is it him?
Just tell us.
So you'll know which one is him.
Okay, I get it.
He's the one asking about what everyone thinks
about Amir and like.
And whether like, anyone's like.
Very leading, yeah.
Yeah, if anyone's like.
Oh man.
Amir's kind of a chiller, huh?
So are we like, planning to kill him or what?
I would never probably wanna revolt against him,
but what's your feeling?
Oh. And so, yeah,
that's not great. Oh my God.
Cause he's driving too,
whatever the vehicle is, like he is,
he's like pretending not to be driving it,
but he clearly is.
Yeah.
Amir's a chiller, isn't he?
That felt really good.
That really did.
We should go over just also doing make goods for ads.
Yes.
Like, I know this all feels like kind of like out there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who are some of your partners?
That's like what we're working up to.
Who have you partnered with, yeah?
Who are some of your more exciting brand partnerships?
JLo Beauty.
JLo Beauty.
Why are you just pointing at me?
Why are you, what are you doing?
She's on to you.
Yeah, she's figured something out about me.
She has a tell.
She's doing something,. Yeah, she's figured something out about me. She has a tell. It's. What?
She's doing something.
What are you doing?
She caught on to your shit.
Yeah, and I'm.
You're found out.
Are we supposed to stay quiet?
I'm getting red.
I'm at the damn red table.
I'm crying.
You're crying, and you guys are communicating in other
Subdates have vibrations.
You guys have JLo beauty.
Brian's looking at me.
No, we have GLo beauty.
George Lopez.
Oh sick, that's amazing.
That is so sick.
Yeah, he looks good.
He's thriving.
It's so awesome.
Yeah, you know he's-
Element.
Huh?
Element is another advertiser. Sorry, go ahead. Yes, he's thriving. It's so awesome. Yeah, you know he's- Element. Huh? Element is another advertiser, sorry, go ahead.
Yes, Element.
Element?
Mm-hmm.
Oh.
The element in the room.
The powders, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can you guess some of those?
You said that you're not to be trusted with them
and you're already asking for them.
You guys.
Getting mixed up. We gotta try.
I'm sorry.
I wouldn't be me if I didn't take a shot.
You did take a shot.
We gotta take a little play at them, right?
Because yeah, we cannot have those bros.
No, do you have a sandals thing?
We will let me have that.
We will schwack those.
No.
No.
Who do you guys have?
Yeah.
Currently we are between sponsors.
Yes. We don't have element, we have smell Yeah. Currently we are between sponsors. Yeah.
We don't have element, we have smell-ement.
Smell-ement, yeah.
Which is an electrolyte, like plug-in,
glade plug-in.
Yeah.
Oh, but it's an electrolyte.
It's supposed to hydrate you.
You gotta be careful with those guys.
You really do because they catch fire a lot.
They're actually kind of on fire
even before you plug them in.
Yeah, they're so hot.
We have-
And so it makes you wanna plug them in that much faster
cause they're burning you.
We have like, it's like hems,
but it's like hems for octopus.
Yeah.
Oh, mm-hmm.
Yep, know it.
And it's just like, it's not really sustainable
because obviously they use it once
and they get their fucking mantle rocked.
Right.
And then that's like lights out.
It's not a business model.
Yeah, it's not good.
No, it doesn't sound good.
Kevin, what else do we have?
Well, we used to have DraftKings.
Yeah, we had DraftKings.
They kinda got pissed off. What's that? They ended their partnership. Yeah. You know what DraftKings. Yeah, we had DraftKings. They kinda got pissed off.
They ended their partnership.
You know what DraftKings is?
No.
You make bets on games.
You really are in a bubble.
We are.
And we did an ad that said you could,
they were partnering with Netflix
and you can make a bet on whether
Eleven was gonna score a touchdown in the Super Bowl.
Do you know what Eleven is?
The girl from Stranger Things.
Yes.
Something got through.
And they got mad mostly about like,
because they weren't actually doing a partnership
with Netflix. I think it made them feel bad
that they couldn't get Netflix to partner with them.
Or her. Or Eleven. They couldn't get Netflix to partner with them. Or her. Or Eleven.
They couldn't get her.
Yeah.
Yeah, she probably didn't.
And I guess they didn't belief in her
that she could score a touchdown at the Super Bowl
after all that she was accomplishing.
Yeah, that's offensive.
Well, let's not blow past bequeefing her.
I think it is the kind of thing we stop down for.
I feel like you've managed to bookend the episode
where basically the first thing you said
was bloody Tia Bottles now.
And then you were silent for eight or nine minutes
while you pointed at me.
And then the next time you spoke was to say Bequeef in her.
And I know you focus on women's issues on your show.
This is her element guys.
So it's a nasty show and you've brought that nastiness to our show.
I'm uncomfortable but she's great.
I belong here.
I have to record a new podcast.
What?
I didn't want you guys to find out this way, but I have to record another podcast.
Right now?
Oh yeah.
Oh, it was good seeing you guys.
Bye.
Hollywood handbook.