Hollywood Handbook - Rekha Shankar, Our D&D Friend

Episode Date: May 9, 2023

The Boys and REKHA SHANKAR make their new Dungeons & Dragons characters.See Hollywood Handbook live and streaming May 30th at Dynasty Typewriter! Click for ticketsWatch the video recording of this episode with Rekha at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast so i will be going down fire mode this summer basically the whole deal except for dressing like a older woman dress like a young woman i'm not i'm gonna dress normal i'm gonna dress like this. Dress like a young woman? I'm not. I'm going to dress normal. I'm going to dress like my... It's not like a clothing thing. I'm going to dress...

I think dressing like a woman is normal. I'm going to dress like me, which is not like anything. It's just like... It's just... It's just... Hazeman. Hazeman clothes.

Great. I hope you do. And can I say, i like the way you dress i think it's normal too i will be here's what i will be doing getting divorced yes getting a tv show uh unclear sort of what kind of show like where are they showing this is it public access it's they it's about to be syndicated maybe at some point yeah it's in san francisco deep cable yes it feels deep there's one cable camera yeah angle and it's too it's just and this is doubt firing a puppet but it's a big deal and for me it would be you well but that's that i thought i always thought that was such

a powerful message that like even if you are in the trenches in the Mariana trench of the cable, you know, numbers and doing a show that's just you and a puppet with one camera angle, it's still a big deal. Like it's still important. Like the art that we create, and this is, I'm on a silly podcast right now you know what i mean our guest is reika like it's fine yeah uh one could look at this and go like wait that's a big deal yeah yeah this is actually my entire life for me's huge. And as soon as I get that show, that camera, watch this.

His camera, kick like this. Both those cameras kick them into smithereens. As soon as I get that show, I will be destroying every piece of equipment in this room. As soon as you do that, this is me. You put them back. You need them. So... And I'll be lying that, this is me. You put them back. You need them. So. And I'll be lying that I made the food.

That's the third thing I'll be doing. I'll be lying a lot. But especially that I made the food. Rekha. Hello. You're listening to Hollywood Handbook. This is episode 499. It's the one that gets us to the important one

you've written for some comedy shows you've performed comedy yourself yeah what is it about laughing to be funny and say that one more time what is it about to laugh and to be so funny

I look myself in the mirror every day. Me too. Yeah, and that's it, period. End of sentence. End of sentence. I look in the mirror every day and I go, you got to laugh. I got two choices, laugh and cry. Yeah.

Yeah. Spitfick, that's what I do when I see myself. Mm-hmm. Partly because the toothpaste is disgusting. Nasty. It goes down really rough. They haven't figured it out yet. They still don't have it, and I think we gave up.

Mm-hmm. It feels like a lot of toothpaste is just the same as it was when I was a kid. And it sucked then and it fucking sucks now. We stopped at one texture. I can't even like drink it or anything. Yeah. Why isn't it like even peanut butter has two textures? Even peanut butter. Yeah.

Chunky. Why isn't it chunky cream soda? Chunky. Chunky. Peanut butter texture. Cream soda with ice. Peanut butter texture. Cream soda with ice flavor. Cream soda

with ice flavor. As a toothpaste. Yeah. This is all tracking to me. And so it's like peanut, you put the peanuts in it, but those are just meant to replicate the ice experience. So flavorless peanuts is what we're putting in.

Well, ideally, I don't know exactly how to do this i'm not a toothpaste guy you know uh though i aspire to become one that is so nice i really uh i actually do think i could um but ideally you know the peanut flavorless peanut is filled with a cold juice so that as you brush it explodes yeah and the and the cold juice cream juice i guess um you know dribbles down your chin and creates this sort of wonderful foamy delightful scent and taste for your whole face to enjoy. That's nice. And that's what the peanut, in its natural form,

it used to produce this very cold juice when you would bite down on it. But this is before GMO. GMO, no, don't you do that to my peanuts. I want the real thing. But they made them so hard and they made them so crunchy. And that is not how he or she upstairs intended the peanut to be enjoyed. Right. Yeah. Most people weren't even allergic to them before.

It's when it became this new kind of hard thing. It's so hard. They're killing they're killing everyone. They killed everyone. They're killing everyone. Thanks Mo Santo. Credits.

The show with our friend Carl. Boom. Yes that's Grand Crew. He did our show first. Okay. He did our show multiple times

before he ever even agreed to do your show. Yeah. It had our show multiple times before he ever even agreed to do your show. Yeah. It's interesting because that's actually I might have to report

that back because he was not supposed to have done stuff before doing Grand Crew. Hmm. Which is kind of not good.

And he's in trouble. He might be in trouble. He wasn't supposed to do any stuff. He wasn't supposed to do any stuff before Grand Crew.

He wasn't supposed to do sleep underground like a cicada. He can do that. They don't really want to... Crawl up out of the ground. Leave his outer shell stuck to a tree. You think it's a bug.

You pull it off. Nope, just a shell. And then be noisy with his friends. Well, the noisy with his friends is what we would film. That's what the show is. Grand's noisy with the friends is the show. We're noisy with the friends. That's noisy with the friends.

So he can do whatever he wants before that in terms of how he sleeps underground or whatever. I don't want to dictate that. But contractually, he was just like not supposed to be

doing stuff before. You drink a lot of wine on that show? Drinking a lot of wine. Right, right. The room is drinking wine. You know, we're drinking wine.

Yeah, big time tastings. Morning tasting, afternoon tasting, evening tasting. Yeah. What time tastings. Morning tasting, afternoon tasting, evening tasting. What's the most delicious wine? I would say a thick red. Thick. A nice thick red.

Yeah. And back to texture again. Right. Because we do innovate with wine. We do. I've seen some very sludgy wines. Oh, yeah yeah you can get a nice little soup kind of texture there yeah like a bisque wine soup dumpling

and you do this show with lou as well lou um lou wilson yeah dimension 20 like the dungeons and dragons 20 is basically more like it, or however many of you. There's like a million of you guys. It's true. Lou came on this show. Yeah. And he helped us figure out who our guys were going to be. Let me say first, can I say this first,

just before we get into the business of it. Nice guy, great guy. I'm a fan. Funny guy. Seen. I'm a fan. Funny guy. Seen him do some good stuff. Love to watch him. When Lou pops up, I'm happy.

Saw him at the picket line with the megaphone. Oh, yeah. He's calling out. He got the megaphone? The other guy's pitching chants to him. He's going,

nah, he's waving them off like the pitcher like shaking his head at the catcher going, not that chant. Yeah.er coat. Not that chance. We're not doing that one. We need someone like that.

Someone with taste. Can you imagine how noisy all the friends could be if they all had a megaphone on Grand Coupe? They won't let them because it'll be too noisy. Too noisy. Who's cracking down on that? The bigwigs? That would be the bigwigs. The guys were actually kind of protesting.

They do have one good idea, which is keep people a little less noisy. Because we have an obligation to keep people safe at home. Totally. And not get too scared. Totally. Speaking of the studios, they're in big trouble now. Yeah. My baby got very scared by the MGM lion this morning.

Wow. You didn't want to do that. You didn't want to do that you didn't want to do that now now he's activated right that's big problems for them all this other shit i don't really give a fuck about yeah like it's i'm good let's put it this way yeah everyone's talking about this stuff this is my life i'm good either way about to get a tv show yes yes that's right my life i'm good either way about to get a tv show yes yes that's right i'll be i'll be fine totally but everyone can like do whatever i truly do not give a fuck totally until you roar roar at the baby at my at my child yeah was it one person in particular that roared um wow so is that touchy sorry no no i'm just uh like i'm really trying like i wanna yeah answer but i don't want you okay let me go back so it's like if i answer in a way where you

understand what you asked okay okay it's going to be i think very embarrassing for you for me okay well so yeah that that i'd say no it wasn't one person it was one lion i understand what she thinks happened when i said the mgm lion she thinks i was talking about mgm the studio parentheses lying yeah this is how like you know this is the this the the propaganda campaign that's happening now within the guild yeah like but these guys are all lying all the time that they're like again i'm good either way yeah they could be lying they could be telling the truth right i don't know they're lying to somebody but it's like who's not yes you know i mean most of us are lying to ourselves this summer i'm good either way the bus driver is

falling in love with me if you think hayes gives a fuck what happens to you you're lying to yourself you're mgm lying to yourself yeah you're mgm lying to yourself i don't do that i know that he's going to get his right and i do have to make sure that I feed myself, which is why I would pick up the cameras. I would dust them off. You know what I mean? Yeah. I would tell Casey I have nothing to do with that.

But I was watching. I said, Casey, do you want to do something together? I was watching vintage film with my baby and the lion. Yeah. Screamed at the baby. The lion was smoking. Bad influence. These old movies.

Depending on your opinion on yeah baby the lion pulls a cigarette out of his mouth with his paw to give the roar like it was like i guess it was like a cool lion you know right sort of a precursor to joe camel right just like one of these mascots that at the time of your mascot you wanted him to appeal to children you had them smoking yeah because like that's what and i still think that's what kids want to see yes you know we don't show it anymore which is which is tough because representation matters though so it's important yeah yeah that's that's a good point. Let me walk this back. I think they should show smoking animals.

Like one. Let's pick one. Yeah, is it one in particular? Yeah. That's my representation position. Everyone gets one. Yes. Yeah.

Pick your representative. Of everything. Choose your your fighter and that's kind of my thing that i don't really give a shit about yeah i'm kind of like take it or leave it like pick your one i don't care who yeah he is yes just pick it and move on whatever yeah or whatever pick it and then if they fucking you know blow up or something like we'll have another meeting like pick an alternate i guess yeah pick one and pick an alternate yeah what did you do on that show on grand crew no we were talking about the different oh dimension 20 yeah dimension 20 yeah So, yeah, Demonic 20. Yeah. So I was really slated to be like a cast member that gets to like, you know, create a character and stuff.

You were slated? I was slated to do that. But I ended up picking up a great deal of dice, you know. People were flinging dice everywhere, you know, kind of angry, trying to get 20, you know. My goodness. Whatever. Oh know my goodness whatever and they're going crazy and the dice are going this way that way they do go so crazy no i yeah i don't get why you want that right yeah well i don't but i gotta keep a job so i end up having to pick up some dice just get a piece of paper yes piece of paper and write a number down yeah yeah statistically you might end up

getting the same results yeah if you roll a dice and if you just write down a number yeah you know probability stuff you guys okay so they made you do that with peer pressure with peer pressure yeah they kind of talked me out of getting um a nicer job and into a worse job okay um they said it would look kind of like dignified and it would be nice if I like kind of it would sort of like honor victims and stuff if I had like an empty chair. They said it would honor victims.

Yeah. If I had like an empty chair instead of my chair at the table. And in fact, you were dishonoring victims. Well, it turned out

after I saw Twitter, yeah, it turned out that's what I was doing. Wow. Didn't know at the time, you know, hindsight 2020.

The victims were really pissed. I don't give a fuck about fucking victims is that your line it's just like sure right you know like sure victims okay right you were chosen to be the one representative of your thing and then your alternate murdered you and now they're the representative so you're like a victim but it's like yeah but you got to be the whatever right you know and i don't like perpetrators totally let me just like say like it's all neutral right now it's neutral it's all we're all just we're all people you know and i'm not like oh i love perpetrators yeah this is my thing of like why are we like ranking people yes it's like victims are up here yes perpetrators are down here it's like they're all over there as far as i'm concerned i'm in this lane right going forward beyond the median driving by everybody

right on a bus that can't go under 50 miles per hour it'll explode right you've seen speed man you know uh no but i did know that about that the famous bus if we're talking about buses yeah yeah just like how i sort of it's a cool way to think about your life yeah you're on the bus from speed you know yeah if you if you stop you'll explode yeah so then it's like there's a victim there's a perpetrator there there's this you know there's a picket line over here there's like you know whatever you just go like sorry man can't explode totally yeah um but luke so luke came and he did give us our guys. He gave us our characters. I didn't understand the sort of complex relationship you had with the show. Right.

Yeah. I don't know the show. But I don't know how to do it. No. How to do Dungeons and Dragons. I don't know how to look at it. Yeah. I don't know how to talk about it.

I don't know how to think about it yeah i don't know how to think about it yeah yeah and that stuff i wish i could share with you i was kind of flitting around the whole time trying to scoop up dice with any any body part you're catching the dice so you were slated for one thing right and then what i'm hearing is that they changed the slate. Yeah. And you then became a dice wrangler. Yes. Yes.

Did they have an onset person talk about how to handle live dice? Yes. You do have to, like if you had an animal onset or something. Right. Because dice have points and stuff. And they're really distracting. yes you do have to like like if you had an animal on set or something right meeting because dice have points and stuff and they're really distracting you might get stuck in a corner reading all the numbers or something so you don't want to get distracted doing stuff like that yeah they can be shiny you don't want to and you know you don't want to be like stacking them in little

they won't be shiny right excuse me if your safety coordinator is doing their job they won't be right i didn't mean to come at you yeah absolutely yeah um yes they shouldn't be shy it should be matt should be dull matt dice yeah used to dance under that name oh that's nice yeah but the safety coordinator was like so what you're not gonna want to do yes And then proceeded to show us all the fun things. Is eat the ducks. Yeah. And I was like, that looks fun. It's like when they come to your school assembly and be like, this is how you internet, this is how you can get internet preyed on.

You're like, well, you're kind of giving us the instructions. Yeah. That's right. And how do you know? Yeah. And then you find out that guy was a freak or a creep or something. Oh my goodness. He was?

I found out someone's a freak. Yeah. He was a freak or a creep or something. Oh, my goodness. He was? When I find out someone's a freak. Yeah. He was a freak? I knew it. After extensive investigation, that guy was absolutely a freak. I knew it. Yes. You should not speak at school assemblies.

That is a weird behavior. Yeah. They find out that guy's a freak. Yeah. Absolutely. I wish I said something at the time. You didn't know. I'm thinking, this guy's a freak. Yeah, absolutely. I wish I said something at the time. You didn't know. I'm thinking, this guy's a freak.

He did know. That's what he said, he did know. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I didn't say anything because I was shy. Right. So I think you can't help us.

Who were some of the guys that we had on that? Who was our, when Lou made our guys. Kevin, what was our guys? Hey guys, Chef Kevin here. Yeah. Hayes's was a stripped down virgin named Jangus Khan. Khan as in the film festival. And Sean's guy had skills.

So he was marshall mathers that was my guy ended up being a nude virgin a stripped down virgin okay wow well jeng is i don't even remember that and then marshall mathers skill because i have like martial arts skills. Is that right? Lou said, well, you have to have skills and then you said, well, if I have skills, I'm Marshall Mathers. Yeah, well, oh, right. Because he has skills on the mic. Oh, sort of a one-to-one there.

A to B. Yeah. Well, what I'll say is you see what we came up with and this was a whole episode we did with lou talking about this and so i i have built him up i have celebrated him i've said we need him on that line nice guy funny waving off chants that are that don't pass muster um when he did appear on this show i don't know what was happening for him. It was weak sauce. And I have never said that on this show.

I do not use that term. The only time it's ever happened. I hate saying that about anyone. It was weak sauce. Yes. And so we need new guys. Every other episode has been very mighty sauce. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very complimentary of the sauce.

Even when they're medium sauce, there's always something, some little zesty peppercorn in the sauce or something that you can point to that you just go like, okay, this made it worth wading through. A truly weak sauce is very rare indeed. And I hope I never see it again. Don't get nervous. Oh, my God. Am I now being weak sauce?

Right? Gaffigan in your head? Always. Am I being weak sauce? Hey, they just said i could be weak sauce don't do it don't get nervous because i i honestly think this show so far has been medium sauce that's really cool yeah i try not to like wheat sauce get into my head because when you're in hollywood you just can't you have to almost have like a diluted faith it's it's crazy yeah you have to have this unearned confidence it's fake it till you make it and then keep faking it okay what do you do after you make it you make it again

keep me you know because it's like it's you never you never do anything nothing happens you've never you never do anything absolutely never really do anything who were your guys on there who were my guys yeah yeah when you're doing it so you're wrangling dice yeah but you must have had some guys yeah like and when you say guys, are you sort of referring to like- Your little guys running around. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My understanding of the game is

the guys are running away from the dice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you paint them. Yes. So the little guys. I didn't get a little guy because- Let's welcome the Marlin call. Well, if I had gotten a little guy,

I would have been a gorgeous, like, sort of purple barbarian, just like absolutely stunning. And her twin sister- Just serving. Sort of undisclosed yes barbarians yes and be beautiful let's go okay yes that is representation hot babes yeah okay um yeah i didn't get those because uh again um they kept my seat empty I was kind of just taking a to honor victims

to honor victims I was scooping up little dust bunnies and stuff because sometimes they look like dice if they're very dense yeah

wow it's so dusty in there it's really dusty in there that the dust bunnies could look as as dense

thick and matte as dice. Yeah. You don't know until you roll. Dense enough to disrupt the dice. Yeah. Wow. No, they look like them. They look like dice.

You think it's dice. Yeah. You don't know until you roll them. I actually think it is one. You're rolling it. Yeah. You go, uh-oh, how many times has this happened? Uh-oh.

And then poof. Because she's going around trying to scoop them up. She's just trying to get in somewhere. Yeah, she's trying to do her damn job. You don't eat them. And I learned that the hard way.

You don't. Okay. You don't eat them. You don't eat them because the safety wringer told us not to but demonstrated it and it looked so beautiful.

That was the hard way? The safety? No, no. The hard way was I went shh and then I tried to pop one. You said, shh, and then you tried to eat a dice and you winked. Yeah.

Okay. And then it's dust bunny central. You tried to just pop it in there, but you missed. It went shot up your nose for a month. And then I created more work for myself. Yeah. That is more work. You already got a job to do.

I know. They won't even let you do that. I know. So they didn't give you any guys. I didn't get any guys. Would it that it were that I got guys. So I can't speak to lose experience or whatever because I didn't get to do all that. Yeah.

Jesus, man. What about a spell? Yeah. No. No spell. Spells come for seated people. Wow. At the table.

So you're just there to kind of loom. Yeah. I'm sort of like a little a little weird janitor yeah i mean in a way you're more like one of the guys maybe you're like the sort of rover with these like special tasks and abilities to like you're living the fucking thing. Yeah. Like, they're sitting around just like, imagine, you know, that a big bug is stepping on you.

Now you're the bug. And it's like, okay, no. Right. It's like, in the movie industry, you see somebody who's not a chess champion write a movie about a chess tournament. And you're yes yes you don't even know anything they don't know what the fuck they're talking they don't even know where the guy in the movie where they hold movies of bobby fisher they don't know where he is they don't even know they didn't even knock on his damn door

they didn't even knock on his damn door see hello do you want to be in the movie you want to write it i'll go one step further the movie's called searching for him they are not searching they are never looking they never go through his phone records they never ask anyone if they've seen him like they're not searching they're following around some fucking kid

yeah I think that's disgusting you shouldn't cast kids you shouldn't cast kids to play adult men yes it's disgusting and really that really made me really mad yeah when i watched that i don't show me that do that in your house if you want to but and yeah don't show me any of that well please don't but if you're going to like yes don't film it don't film it it's really fucking disgusting yeah yeah that was awful and the and what did you say the person who wrote it doesn't even play chat you know or no chat or like they weren't a chess

champion they're just like writing stuff like kind of off of google or something or like books and stuff and this is who i'm marching for. And this is who you No, it's like Let's look at the whole picture. Because it's like on the one hand, like I know Hayes doesn't give a fuck about it. I actually thought it was a good opportunity to network, but then it's like

who am I meeting? That guy? Yeah. And it's why I'm the perfect person to mediate the situation and resolve it because I truly could not give a fuck what happens. Yeah. And I just want to start like, I was talking about this a little bit before the show, but I want to start us off and like, you know, just anchor this conversation in one truth, which is we all love movies. Okay? Yeah.

Can we start with that instead of what makes us different yeah can we talk about what makes us the same movies yeah obsessed with different movies i'm screaming about movies movies are very long stories so oh my god you can't watch it all at once give me more give me a little bite and let's take a break that's my thing is like and I don't totally understand the economics

of all of it but it feels like can we just make more shorter movies am I crazy some movies you find out afterwards you thought feels like, can we just make more shorter movies? Am I crazy? Some movies you find out afterwards, you thought it was like a two-hour thing, and oh, it had like 60 scenes in it.

But you actually, if you Google, you'll find out it was several short films. They snuck more in there. They snuck some stuff in there. Or like if the character's watching a TV show, secret movie. Secret movie. Yeah, another one.

Secret movie. You snuck another movie by me. By me. Movie. Okay, you got me to watch two. Okay. Compound movie. Yeah.

All right. Good on ya. Good on ya. Hollywood Handbook. This week on the Patreon, the boys recap Succession and the Flager ones welcome back Tim Baltz to mostly talk all things basketball. If you're listening to this episode today, Tuesday, May 9th, you can also catch the Flager Ones live stream at 5 p.m. Pacific time on the video tier. Plus, see Hollywood Handbook

live in Los Angeles May 30th at the Dynasty Typewriter. And if you can't make it to the show, you can watch the live stream up for a week on their website. Check out all these shows and the video for today's episode with Rekha at patreon.com slash theflagrantones. Be a better you in 2024 with Babbel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works. Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language. And the question that I always get, people stop me and they say like, hey, I trust you. I know when you endorse a product, it's something that you really use and care about. But there's one language that I'm trying to learn and that's body language so can Babbel teach me body language yes Babbel now has visual in-person lessons part of their quick 10-minute lessons that they do for other languages handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as

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5 million users and have helped save its members an average of $720 a year with over $500 million in canceled subscriptions. And that was I mean, just to be fully transparent, that $500 million in canceled subscriptions. And that was, I mean, just to be fully transparent, that $500 million, most of that was the dresses. Well, yeah, I mean, you're talking about Hollywood memorabilia.

You're talking about, like, ornate gowns, you know, in some cases. And so that was, yeah, that was costing me a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys. That's rocketmoney.com slash the boys. Rocketmoney.com slash the boys. Hollywood Hamburg. I have an idea, actually, I guess that you also can't help me with um because we knew that we wanted you

to help kind of clean up lou's mess yeah sorry dungeons and dragons i can clean up literal mess that's that was your job that was my job did you have a literal mess i can clean that if haze breaks the cameras after you repair them I can break that or whatever I said break okay I'm worried about there's only one thing that you would be doing and I guess like this is the fact that you said

that you were going to break it I have to confess you said break it for me I have to confess so part of why I can't really talk too much about Demented 20 is that I did get sort of honorably whatever dislodged, you know, from set. You were honorably dislodged. Because it's a multiple day shoot. And, you know, my first day I'm cracker jock.

I'm cleaning. I'm doing the great dice stuff. Bang, bang, boom. Boom, boom know, my first day, I'm cracker jock. I'm cleaning. I'm doing the great dice stuff. Bang, bang, boom. Boom, boom, boom. Yuck, yuck. Zip, zap, zip, zap. Day two. You're saying yuck, yuck because you're cleaning stuff up?

Yeah. Ew, ew, yuck, yuck. It's really nasty. Nasty, yeah. Yuck, stinky. Stinky, stinky, stinky. Yucky dust. Slimy.

Exactly. And then the next day, I see everybody having fun playing the game they did again the tomorrow they did it tomorrow oh my god and i'm feeling kind of bad yeah and so like yeah rake during that is talk about victims i don't give a fuck but that's i wouldn't go so far as to say that but during like their snack breaks and stuff, you're like, yeah, maybe I break a little piece off of a chair. Maybe break a little pencil in half.

Take the chair, eat the pencil. Eat the pencil, take the chair, eat the pencil. Because for snack? For a little snack. Well, I get my little snack break too, right? And they need the pencil to, I guess, write down the case number. Write down, I love myself.

God, egomaniacs so absolutely so yeah i did a little breaking narcissist um nurse desist right you did a little break a little breaking and that's why that's why you were honorably dislodged okay honorably dislodged for eating Okay. Wow. I think they should have given you a medal, an award for coming back the day, the next day, tomorrow. Please. And you eat a pencil. So what?

Literally so what? No one else was going to eat it. And it's just lying there. You ever have like a plate of cookies and everyone's like saving one of them? No. No. All these pencils are out there. No one's eating them't i don't eat them yeah no i don't understand one piece no one's even gonna touch them they're gorgeous and no one even

touched them no one's gonna touch them i can't connect to this idea huh the example like the fundamental idea underpinning your example yeah like i can't access it like i don't know you just went like did you ever have a plate of cookies and i just was like no it's like you don't like it's like no you ever see west world no okay okay so that's basically like what you're trying to do. Okay. Yeah. The fundamental example you've sort of given me, I cannot connect to. So now you understand.

On TV? So now you understand. No. Great. Good. So, yeah. So you don't know Westworld and i um don't know don't know cookies uh but it does bring me back to food which obviously there was a dungeons dragons movie recently and i there's a dozens of dragons honor among thieves, but okay. Yeah, I guess I would call that a Dungeons of the Dragons Honor Among

Thieves movie. I'll take the hit. I'll take the hit. Spitty Fitties. Spitty Fitties. Look, Spitty Fitties is crucial. It's absolutely crucial to be specific.

Honor Among Thieves. But the bigger letters on the sign it's absolutely crucially despicable honor among thieves but I but the but the bigger letters on the sign say Dungeons and Dragons and that's true yeah

and I see this and I and I think this should be a restaurant now unfortunately someone else had this idea it is going to be a restaurant

it is going to be like a medieval times style experience restaurant wow don't bother me because i don't need the ip i'm calling my place dungeness and crab buns I'm calling my place Dungeness and Crab Buns. Wow. Talk about what you think I mean. So for me personally, what I think you mean is it will be a sort of crab restaurant. I was afraid of that. Okay.

That's not good. Okay. And I'm seeing i'm seeing no i'm getting that so much and i'm not totally seeing the interactive element with like the knights and that's not no that's what they are doing okay that's real okay what i'm doing is soon to be real soon to be real yeah so i'm seeing a big time crab themed restaurant oh boy now what was your intention if i'm all not that um i mean i did i did think we could have some sort of, I thought it could have kind of a Maryland vibe. Okay. So that may account for some of what you're describing. It's down home Maryland cooking theme.

Okay. No seafood. Right. So, you know, that, and the, you know, d dungeness is actually is a type of crab right but it also sounds like dungeons right okay so down the female version of the dungeon yes the dungeon and the dungeon s and that's a girl dungeon the dungeness and the Dungeness. That's a girl dungeon. The Dungeness and the crab buns. Yeah. Crab buns.

Okay. Interesting. Well, what I thought is like, you know, there's like crab chips. Yeah. It's just a flavor powder,

right? Yeah. Yes. Dude, butts, do it with buns. That's not crabs. Yeah.

I think Old Bay seasoning on a bun. See ya. I think now that you're explaining it. Old Bay, that's not crabs yeah i think it's old bay seasoning on a bun see ya i think now that you're explaining it old bay so it's one name i used to it's under that's oh like b-a-e yeah that's not and you called yourself old you don't name yourself right right they they just they sort of um it's like a sorting hat style thing when you but he would

take the stage in a little cane and then he would sort of like do the kind of willy-willy I would kick away the cane

and then fall over because I needed it why did you stop dancing? because I had a cane right I was I couldn't do

any of that stuff wow yeah wow no Old bay was a good name yeah yeah that's great we i think you need a guy you need one of these little guys because you never got one i never got one you just had to be one yeah maybe we figure out your my guy yeah yeah how did you develop your guys with uh with lou i have no fucking idea that guy just kind of blathers on if i'm being on if we could for once be honest in hollywood and i can say a negative thing about someone yes sweet nice cool funny talented yes what is he talking what is he talking about what is he what's going on I ran into him on the picket line.

Yeah. And he was like, hi. I was like, literally, what? He was like, hi. Was he like, hi? Or was he like, hey? Okay. He was literally like regular hi, which is more confusing.

Wow, he was a regular hi. And I was like, wow. I was literally like, what are you doing? That's how weak sauce it is. He's holding up a megaphone. That's what I mean. It just sounds like, hey. And it feels like you can never podcast about people that holding a megaphone. That's what I mean. It just sounds like, hey.

And it feels like you can never podcast about people that you have issues with, but I don't know. Yeah, no. We're down to do that. We're down to talk a little trash. If he's upset by that, it's like, come on, dude. Maybe he should be in that empty chair during my session. Yeah, you sit in the empty chair. Or I guess don't.

Don't do it. I mean, we have to honor him. It's for victims. Yeah. Okay. It's for Clint Eastwood to yell at. The name of your guy. Pretty cool.

The name of your little guy is Bill Clinton. Oh. Okay. It kind of sounds like like a cyclops or like some sort of mech or something

he yeah that's right he's a mech well is it from is that from Tong cause he has like tongs

tongs for okay yes tongs for arms and legs and mouth okay kind of reading a little crab leg

but there's no crabs at the restaurant Songs for arms and legs. Okay, kind of reading a little crab leg. But there's no crabs at the restaurant. Right, sorry. Because sourcing them has been a massive nightmare. Yeah, you need license and stuff for that. And it's really easy for me to get lamb shanks. Right. Like good ones, cheap.

So then it's like, okay, I i'm gonna jump through a billion hoops to get these crabs that are freaky as hell yes and he has these primo shanks and i get when i've got these juicy shanks just falling off the bone yeah and i'm I'm telling you, they are a steal. It's like they fell off the back of a truck. Not really, but maybe. You can't pick up the shanks. Yeah.

No fork will. They're so sloppy. No. Mm-hmm. And so liquid. I mean, like, they appear solid,

but like false, try picking up the bone first. Yeah. Right. Yeah. If you touch them with any utensil, yeah, you are dealing with

slime. I mean, it's really, they are really premium shanks. Wow. So anyway, not to distract from Bill Clintong, which I love. Yeah, I think that's nice.

And is a really powerful guy. Yeah. Let's not work too hard to connect it to crabs because that has nothing to do with me. Right, totally. And I keep forgetting. You have like kind of a crab vibe. He just said they were freaky.

I said they were freaky? He did. I did. I said they were freaky and sp said they were freaky? He did. I said they were freaky as hell. They're spiners. But aren't we all going to turn into crabs? Have you read those reports? The report that we're going to turn into crabs?

Yes, that scientifically humans are getting closer and closer to crab. Yeah, because of our phones. Right. Because we're all on our phones. Because we're all on our phones because we're all on our phone like crabs yeah because of the way

we hold our phones has made our hands into these pincers absolutely yeah and it's given us a hard care pace sit on a rock

all day out in the water be in all exoskeletons read the read the interweb so okay Bill Clinton gag, Bill Clinton has nothing to do with that. He has the power of veganism.

What happened? What did you drink? I don't know. That sip was bad? The rest was okay? I think so. Maybe it turned i just keep feeling like i'm suddenly re-entering the room i have to get oriented all over again i have to catch up to whatever you two looney tunes are talking about yeah and and you know i'll find this glass of what I assumed was water

and now seems to be anything but. So the guy, the Bill Clinton guy. He has tongs for hands. His power is veganism. Beat you with a saxophone or something. It's probably hard with the tongs. It's probably hard to play saxophone with the tongs. Well, you can try.

I said beat you, not like beat you in a saxophone contest. Yeah. Okay, then say that. Say it's not that then. Okay. Okay, yeah. So we'll run it back. So it's don't beat you in a saxophone contest.

It's not being in a saxophone. Being with a saxophone. Do beat you with a saxophone. Over the head. Okay, but not in a contest. Not in a, there is no contest. It's canceled. There is no contest.

Okay, it got canceled. Wow. Just like the MTV Movie Awards. So I guess this was, I hope this was worth it. That's what I want to say to all the, I just hope you get what you want. Yeah. Because what we lost was the MTV Movie Awards. So that's gone.

You don't get that back. It's now a pre-taped show without a host. So that is forever. That's what we want i guess that's i'll 2023 and we'll you know yeah i'll wait we'll uh we'll just not have but i guess that's any memories from the funny host bit congratulations everyone i guess we i guess we're winning. Maybe we think for one second before we do this stuff. Maybe we actually think for one second about how it affects people.

Just take a second and just go, okay, is it really worth the MTV Movie Awards and TV Awards as well? I'll wait. I'll wait. I'll wait. I think it's TV and movie awards now. I think that... MTV TV and movie awards?

They have... Is it MTV TVM awards? Music, television, TV and movie awards. All of the words in that are types of media. And then the word awards I got it covered music, TV, other stuff awards

who's this? as a character you know who I think it is it's Bill Clinton Bill Clinton Bill Clinton Bill Clinton. I think it's Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton.

He's running around. He's fast or no? He is. Yeah, he's fast. He's clanging down the street. Look at those tongs. Those tongs for days. Put the sunglasses down. Look at those tongs for days yeah put the sunglasses down look at those dogs that's what the passersby are saying yeah yeah yeah and then some go mr president is somebody shredding on the damn triangle outside

nope just bill clinton sprinting down the sidewalk sprinting down fifth avenue yeah he's he lives he's having adventures on yeah he lives in manhattan yeah he's sprinting back yes but pop by a sax fifth avenue yeah sprinting by the made well on 19th Street. He's in the Macy Day Parade. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. He is... Someone wanted to steal the parade. Somebody's stealing the balloons.

Mm-hmm. Oh, the balloons are better. Okay, that's better than the parade. And you think that would be... No, no, no. Maybe not. No, that's better. Parade is better.

No, wait. Parade is not as good. Parade is better than balloons. No, I better parade is better that's no wait parade is not as good parade is stealing the better than balloons no i think balloons is better better than parade better than stealing the parade balloons is so easy easy to track because if someone's stealing the balloons you go let's follow where those are going easy to track too easy to track should be stealing the whole parade yeah too easy because then it's one of those things where it's hard to find something small and it's also hard to find something that is so big now i feel like he could bring his saxophone i know okay i know you're somehow like well i know you have this like obsession with with that he's not ever allowed to play the saxophone

because the contest got cancelled out of nowhere which makes me think that you were just being the idea that Bill Crumpton could be the Pied Piper with the saxophone and he's luring the parade

getting the parade to follow him into the Hudson he wants to follow him into the Hudson. He wants to bring, he wants to land them in the Hudson River. Sully style. No, he wants to uncover the, he believes there's still some wreckage from the Miracle on the Hudson down there.

He's a truther. Yeah, but the Miracle on the Hudson, that actually is, the plane they pulled out was not the real plane the real plane it's impossible bill clinton says unknowingly there's a second plane they tried the simulator every single time they tried it and the plane crashed yeah it's impossible it's so obvious what happened which is there was a plane submerged beneath the hudson which they elevated to sit atop the hudson at the exact same time that sully crashed the real plane and then he just swam on over and they put him on trial

mm-hmm and he just and he got away and he knew exactly oh my god that asshole got away with it and he knew exactly what he was doing that asshole got away with it didn't even look nervous wish he didn't in June though wish he did it in June have you seen that? seen Sully?

I haven't seen like the movie no I'm i i'm wondering because the fundamental thing we all agreed on was that we love movies i love movies and i'm getting one of us you didn't see westworld and there was a third movie as well that you didn't see yeah i'm sure there was his yeah have you ever thought i'm also sure i respect movies so much that I don't even want to touch them don't bring up Sully again come on what was the other movie

Dungeons and Dragons yeah I haven't seen Dungeons and Dragons no I haven't seen that why who cares there was another one this is a little older dog there was another one there was a little older oh dog there was another one there was another one dungan donuts dungans and donuts dungeon donuts erica runs on dungeon new restaurant yeah but she's probably want to have crabs be at that restaurant as well. It sounds like a crab shack to me.

Oh, my God. Can I pitch what Bill plays on saxophone? Mm-hmm. Tongue song. Tongue song. And how would that go? Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. Short parade.

Okay, so it's a song parody called Tong Song, but he's playing it on the saxophone. So in your version, it has no lyrics. By the way, we all agreed that he doesn't play the saxophone. If I could just remind us. I'm more open to it than some, but I think when it comes to a parody song, it might not necessarily be the time.

It would be like if Tong Song was about Cisco's hands, I guess, right? Right. If Bill Clinton is singing about thongs. Yeah. Yes. It would be like if Cisco was singing about his hands. About his hands.

Or his arms and his legs. And his arms and his legs. Let me see those hands. Yeah. My hands. Let me arms and his legs. Let me see those hands. Yeah, my hands. Let me see my own hands. Let me see my own hands. Huh. I guess that is nice.

I like the way my fingers go. I like the way my hands go. Yeah. Ba-da-ba. Yeah. I like the way the fingers go. That's the equivalent. that's the equivalent well I'm about ready to wrap it up

you look like you're just kind of settling in I'm not leaving but I'm just like not doing the show anymore Sean it seems like you maybe have revised this to be maybe less than medium sauce judging by your posture.

No, no, no. I can take a no. I know we're on strike, but I can take a no. The fans will decide what kind of sauce it was. Okay, okay. Imagine that go on the crabs. Pour medium sauce all over the crab. I'd try it.

No, but I am done. Rekha, where can we find you? You can find me on Twitter at Rekha L. Shunker. You can find my website. It's RekhaShunker.com. I don't think Twitter's a good place for people to be spending time anymore.

Do you do a main feed post for your podcast appearances? Or just stories? I'll do a main feed post for your podcast appearances or just stories? I'll do a main feed if you're kind of nice about it, if you're kind of rude about it. Maybe that goes to stories, friends only kind of thing. What kind of caption are we looking at? We're looking at something like... Give me a story, like superimposed story one

that's probably shorter, and then give me the grid. And close friends. Okay. Yeah, the close friends one is like, heyimposed story one that's probably shorter and then give me, like, the grid. And close friends. Okay. Yeah, the close friends one is like, hey, bitches. You can talk to your friends that way. You can go, hey, sluts. You can talk to your friends that way.

Hey, you salty sluts. Sluts alert. Check out this podcast. Take the fucking genitals out of your mouth and actually this whole podcast. Take those little balls out of your mouth. Get your little wet paws on that click button and take a listen. That's friends only.

I would say for regular groups of friends, like the lower treasure acquaintances. Yeah. Hey guys, I was on this cool podcast. Check it out it out okay they're dorks yeah yeah uh main feed maybe like um link in bio you know the caption just says link in bio on the main feed yeah and you're actually putting the link in your bio? No. It's Abe Lincoln's Wikipedia page. It's Abe Lincoln's Wikipedia page because it's about honesty, and I had told a lie, so it's kind of a little cheeky. That's so many layers.

Yeah, but the real fans are going to make up. That's as many layers as the Dungeons and Dragons. Chris Nolan is flipping out about that one. Lincoln bio goes to Lincoln's bio because it's about lying how many followers are you pushing around town I know we have 48k on twitter

I know we have that we have 48k twitter 48k in life too I'm walking around this city with 48k followers I'm having the fight to get

to Albertsons you know what I mean you can't because you have too many followers I cannot I'm trying to get my pasta sauce I'm trying to get some carrots yeah carrots and tomato sauce yum like my mama made

yum I hate spaghetti love carrots and spaghetti sauce tomato sauce. Yum. Like my mama made. Yum. I hate spaghetti. Love carrots and spaghetti sauce. Oh, I dunked that in. I dipped that right in. What's up, doc? Yeah, uh-oh. Mouthful of bread. Bye.

Hollywood Hamburg.