Hollywood Handbook - Riz Ahmed, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: April 28, 2026

The Boys try their best to understand what actor/rapper RIZ AHMED's new show, Bait, is about before having him judge the potential of one of their employee's rap career. Check out Riz's new show, Bait, on Amazon Prime now!   Get a Hat Pack Hat here!   Check out Sean and Hayes’s bonus shows at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook   Listen on the iHeartRadio App!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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I'd love to stop thinking around. I'd like to cut straight to the fucking meat of it because... If that's okay, if that's okay with you? Do you want to do the sort of song and dance thing or do you actually want to like get in the heart of what we're dealing with? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

don't get out right away when you do the show but um but if we you know if we do decide to just like we all have shit to do oh my god so i saw the black cars running outside my is crazy if we all decide the three of us are just like let's fucking let's just go let's just get out of club deviate let's go to club dv yeah yeah whatever see who's spinning the night see if we can get back there you know yeah see if they'll give us a couple turns on yeah or if we just decide like on the big knob. Or if we just like being in the car. Like once I'm in the black car, I'm like, don't we have to get out?

Because it's nice. They control the temperature. It's the oaks cord. Yeah. You see you're spinning in there. Yes. You see you spinning in there. Just about the ox cord. The black, the car is kind of where I can fall asleep. Okay. And so sometimes it helps.

Like, if we're driving around a lot, you can have music. It's a volume thing. It's a volume. Just have it very like, really low. Okay, great. Yeah, yeah. But some techno really low. This is about promo, right? We have one shot at this. Ideally.

There's a show on Amazon Prime video called Bate. You created the show. You are the main star of the show. That's what today is about. It's about bait, right? We have some ground to cover on this show. Yeah. Can you help our...

audience with a core aspect of this. The show is about, by the way, just before you even say what the show's about. Yeah. I love what the show's about. Really? I love what the show's about. Oh, thank you. That means a lot. But we do think that for our listeners, we need to explain what the show's about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not everyone's is up in it. I'm supportive of it, but they might not necessarily get it. Got it. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's a fair point. No, everyone's is, is, is, is, on their homework in that way that you guys have. Hayes was going to say what it's about. A man.

It's a man. Yeah. It's you. Yes, I'm the man. But it's not you. No. And you are a guy. I'm a guy in it.

Going around. Everywhere. Doing your thing. Not your thing. No. The guy's thing. And many things. And say one.

One of the things you do, just to give us a sense. of it. One of the things I do is there's so many things, right? There's a few of them. It's hard to pick one. I would say I audition. Can I stop you right there?

Please is what we want to talk about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know what you're talking about. Yeah. Because I do my research, right? And that's what you do for a show like this. You're studying a character. You have to do research.

I love to read. Our audience. My damn library cards falling apart. The damn thing might disintegrate in my hand next time I pull it on my wallet. I swear to God, my library card is about to explode because I love to read. They try to take it from him to replace it. Oh, yeah. He won't.

That's the old one. You need a new one. I go, no, I don't think so. No, this bad boy's coming home with me. And he's on the computer a lot there. Yeah, I go there just to like. Google stuff. I don't want to Google at home.

Yeah. You're supposed to give it up after. These days are going to be careful. Girls. Look up girls. And that's how we found you. Because you were on that. Hi.

That's how we found out about you. If you Google the word Riz, two things come up. One is kind of seductive charisma. It's a slang word. Yeah. And the other thing is me. Much lower down. It's a third or fourth page in the search results.

So it's on page three and a half about this morning when I took Three and a half it was on this Three and a half Three and a half with a bullet It's just outside of Headed for two Bronze

Yeah The Pogam But we did our research In terms of the audition Yeah Which is such an interesting Conceit What did you like about it?

It's not a like or dislike thing Sort of with anything. No, it's more about love. What did you love? Yeah, and it's not even qualitative for me. It's more like the nuts and bolts of, it was interesting for me to learn about

because I think Hayes, but you probably know this, Hayes. Who's his, who's Hayes? So this is Hayes. Oh, hey. Yeah. And I'm Hayes' friend.

Yeah. And he's the host and I'm the co-host. And we are both, in the industry as well. Of course. We do this, but we do a lot of things. I'm aware. And, um, and we're tinkers.

Like, we're always like, we hear something. We hear an idea. We've got to like get it. We open up the hood. Uh-huh. We're just kind of like messing around. And nothing, uh, great. Nothing great was made by going like, oh, this is perfect the way it is.

You know, the best version is always to go like, well, would it be, is it better if I take want to, you know, if I take this off, you know, has that improved it in any way? You know, you know, you don't know. And it has. You'll notice it that it actually has. Yeah, who can say. Well, it was leaning. Yeah. Well, we can say, we're saying. And then it's like, there's a washer as well, you know, do we need this? This, what is this? And by the same token, what is an audition? Let me stop you. And let me stop you right there. Yeah. And Hayes

going to stop me real quick. Because that's, I'm his friend. That's the word that I think our listeners are kind of hanging up on because every single one of our listeners is off or Oh, well, only? Offer only. What does that? What does that mean? So, okay, so this is, this is so cool when this happens actually on the show. We love getting to do this.

Because what's happening is we have learned something through doing the research on your project. And now you coming on to our show are going to find out, you know, about another side of the business. And I can be educated. So there is, you know, the way you did it on the show. where a performer sort of, what's the right way to say this? Auditions? It's like, yeah, but it's like, but it's,

but that's the word they don't know. So it's like, oh, sort of like, um, there's a dance thing. Like selling themselves. Like they're like, they're like, they're like asking for permission or something. Right. To be able to perform.

They're going, please, you know. And then there's like the version of it where you're actually kind of maugging the industry and going like, I'm here. You come to me. I am here. They come to your house. Oh, you wanted me to do my house?

You know my house. And instead of you asking permission to them, they ask permission to you. Can I see you? That's offer only. And so all of our listeners, our entire production team here is offer only. And everyone who is on the, we have a producer in Pittsburgh. on our social feeds is offer only yeah and so that like explaining that disconnect i think is is helpful to them and we just did it call business we just did it's incoming yeah yeah uh and

he has audition for james bond james bond 000 7 mm-hmm and who's who is this what's that someone you The floor is yours, Riz. Oh, right, yeah. An invention of yours for, in the world of the show. Yeah. No, no, no. It's, so, no, James Bond is a character, a fictional character. From, oh, Bates.

No, not from the world. Fiendish creations, Rez, this fictional character. Yeah. And, well, no, but I didn't, I didn't create James Bond. James Bond exists. doesn't exist is fictional, but I didn't. An AI creation. Not AI.

Not AI. J.K. Rowling. Is this correct? One of her. No, that's... Creatures. It's one of the fantastic beats. No, how to explain?

So there's a, there are these thing called books. You're talking to me, Mr. Library. Yeah. Yes. I've been meaning to get to the book. part of the library. Exactly, because you get, you stop at the computer. The Ciren song of the computer terminal.

Yes, it sings to me. Reels you in. So there are these things with books. Like crash against the rocks of the Google page. At, uh, there is this guy. He wrote a book, a series of them. Names Ian Fleming. Yep, he's dead now.

Garbage pale kid. Well, yeah. Hock Tua. Oh, Hawk Tua. Yeah. That's his nickname. That's his daughter. His nickname was Hawk, too.

Yeah. And so he wrote these books, and these books are about a fictional character called James Bond. And he also goes by the code name, 007, and he's a British spy. And he travels around the world, like an international man of mystery, kind of killing people. Right? He's in trouble. He meets his come up. You can't do that.

Why can you do travel around the world? Come on. Spy sneaking around. Come on. Certainly Interpol would have something to say about it. He'd be in trouble, wouldn't he? He's, no, because he's like a version of Interpol. He's a virgin?

He's a, he's not a virgin. He's very much the opposite of a virgin. Okay. Yeah, okay. I may have Googled him before then. Yeah, exactly. Because I may have seen him in the computer. He's having sex?

Hey, yes, he's having a lot of sex. And I, yeah, I may have come across this guy. And they've made movies about this guy. They've made movies about this fictional character, James Bond. Then I've definitely seen him. It's a movie of him having sex. But this is the problem. There's no way to know what his name is or if he's British or anything because you cannot have the sound on at the library.

Yeah. No, that's a one-way ticket to your kicked out. That's a number one rule. Just be quiet. I can see. I can see. So, yeah. So that's basically, that's everything you need to know.

Okay. This is a fictional man having sex. I am starting. Sorry? Ian's a friend of yours? No, no. Are you promoting his books? No.

No, I'm not promoting his books. I'm taking... You despise them. I wouldn't say I despise them. I wouldn't say I despise them. No. Neutral on the books. And what I'm doing is I'm taking...

You know what's interesting? Despise are in the book. Hmm. I was trying to go for a despise, but... All of despise are in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't despise... But...

But? Dispies are in them. Despise are in the book. And... The book. He... Who... Who do you mean?

Huh? You say he? Oh, no, nothing. Yeah, so he is a fictional... He? Yeah. He's a fictional character. This is that movie?

No, it's not. That's coming out later. Okay. It's a different movie. Okay. That's a real character. What? Quite a character.

Not necessarily how I would describe what he did, but... Something to do with your library searches, maybe. So, fictional character exists in movies. He's made billions of dollars. For the studios. Now you're now... Now, okay. So there's this guy who's made billions of dollars for the studios.

Yes. Now I'm liking him. For the studios, if we could just quickly. For the studios. This is for the studios. And he's very popular And do you know Sean Connery, Roger Moore,

Pierce Brosnan, Daniel Craig, they're all They're actors You're asking me? Any, either of you. Okay. I think he's talking to you, his.

Go one by one? So it's not relevant. But they're actors who played this fictional character in movies that were very successful. Can we get, can we get Riz saying

that the other actors are not relevant, just for? I just say not relevant that For the clip No I just I just said

They're no longer relevant They're no longer No longer relevant And so What happens is I I wish you'd Roger Wes And look up who that like

How that kind of stuff Will play And so what happens is I made a comedy About someone who wants to Plasman Play this fictional character

Yeah Yeah. So I play a fictional guy who wants to be this fictional character. He wants to do it. And so he's auditioning, asking permission to play the character. Of James Bond. And now I am remembering that I did go in for this. I actually did go in for this, man.

Was that, I was starting to sound so familiar. I actually did. Was that the thing? I did not an audition. but I did have a conversation with the studios about... It was more of like a luncheon. And boy, we were lunching a lot. It was like a munching away.

Gala, but it was like lunchtime. Yes. And so they had a little like gala to like see if this was something we would want to. See if I even had time. Poke around at. Did you? My day is crazy. And so you did this, you did a whole show about, did you do that?

Did I do what? Did you get it? Did you have a luncheon? Did you go to luncheon or were you? Did I luncheon about James Bond? I guess I would have seen you at the luncheon. Oh, I know. I did have luncheon with Barbara Broccoli who owns the rights to James Bond to ask her

whether we could use the character of James Bond. I have a guess. I'll give you one guess what she ate for lunch. Garbage Bill kid. Okay. What do you guess? What do you guess that I have had? I only have one guess.

You know, so I'm not. You're not going to put that card on the table. I want to like, I want to hang out of it dry in case I need to guess something later. Yeah. Okay. Blow my whole guess. It's not irrelevant what we ate. But we did luncheon, yeah.

We brunch in, actually. Okay. Did you brunch him with her? we it was very lunch-coded it was very lunch-type shit this particular gala was very lunch-type shit

yeah like it's about the Saturday but it's not they would be like so they had us I don't think this is a suit like this is a new movie coming out they want to do another one

right 100% okay they definitely do and I don't think this is a secret like he is going undercover in Hawaii in this one. I don't think that's the secret at all. It doesn't ruin the movie.

He's in Hawaii. He's undercover. He was on vacation, but... He calls. Like, shit goes down. It starts going crazy. He's at a luau. He starts to realize the pig is a bomb.

There's a pig in my show, actually. There's a character of a severed pig's hair. Did you copy everything from this? There's nothing new under the sun. And also it's with a public one. Copy James Bond. They want reboots, spin-offs and more reboots. It's IP, isn't it?

It's IP. It's IP, isn't it? Okay. And so there's a severed pigshead in my show. There's a voiced by Sir Patrick Stewart. You know who he is, right? Oh. Oh, my.

I have a guess, but again, I don't want to waste it. Is the baby, the family guy baby? Is him not that. dissimilar. He's after Lois, isn't he? He's... Do you know Star Trek? Start...

You... Well... You keep saying this stuff. Sort of a demolition derby, huh? Hmm. Get in a bunch of old jalappies, fire them up, and just run them into each other. That's the real entertainment. It's like that, but in space.

So he's from that, and he's in my thing. He plays a severed pig's head. And has a bomb in it. It's not a bomb, but he's like my critical... James. James Baum. He's my critical inner voice. Okay. Big said. In this movie, he has to go undercover as a hula dancer.

Yeah. And. Grass skirt, the whole bit. Coconut bra. Mm-hmm. The whole thing. Is you wearing those things? Coconut bra and a grass skirt, the whole damn thing.

James Baum, he's got it on. And they wanted to just see like a little, just like whatever. It was literally just. Like a set. It was launch type. And then it was like, hey, okay, just like show us like one hula dance. Yeah. Couldn't have been longer in 15 minutes.

Yeah. And they watched that and they said, they were like, type shit, touch shit. Is this going to be longer than 15 years? You know, we don't have the timer in here. We usually have a timer. We usually have a timer. But what is there a panic button? There is, we, for us.

Yeah, we have it. But you're actually doing awesome, dude. Yeah. Thank you. No. You explaining some of this stuff is actually really going to help some of our list. Are you famsick? It's a, have you read the memoir?

Is it a memory? The Lina, the Lina done a memoir. It's called FAMSIC. Oh my gosh. It just came out. It just came out. I'm just thinking, I was reading it. You've been reading it.

Well, this guy in his books. Well, it's IP. It's possibly IP, I think. Oh, this guy in his books. Right? So this could possibly be in the book. B and Bate 2. Yeah.

I just hear, I'm hearing this guy's talking about. He's trying to audition. He wants to be James Bond, right? He's getting, you know, famous, maybe not necessarily for the right reasons. I can make you famous, too. Yeah. Yeah. And do you think the fame is a prison?

Do I think fame? I think it can be. Have I ever been to prison? Keeps you fed in there, doesn't it? Yeah, can. keep you fed and warm, I guess. Yeah, I think that fame can be, we all want to be looked at, but we don't want to be seen.

Isn't that the problem in our culture? We're all like, look at me, look at me, but actually don't really look inside what's going on. Can you speak on that? I think I just did. But can you like really, really get into that? Speak on that in terms of just, it's such an interesting beginning of an idea.

What would it mean to explore that? It would mean to make a TV show called Bait. So you did speak on it. I did. I spoke on it and I got other actors to speak on it and from it and to it. He also bring it in who we flying in. Well, we flew in Gus Khan. He's a British stand-up comedian. I'm sure you know his work.

You know Gus. You've known him for a while now. He talks about you very fondly. I love Guss. What was the one was the last time you saw him? Where was that? I saw him. This is so crazy.

Was it a luncheon or a bruncheon or a dungeon? We were eating on stage. Crazy. We used to have kind of a double act. So he's a stand-up, you say. Like we used to have like a little like patter thing. Like chomping gus. So he's chomp and gus was gus and he'd be eating and then gus would,

Gus would chug a whole two little bottle of grape soda. Okay. And I meant like we were eating like we, I was also eating, but we were like eating. You know what I mean? I don't know what you mean, no. Um, so I, we ate. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

What did you, what did you eat? We aided that. Mm-hmm. And he ate bid that. Experience Megan Maroney live on her only Canadian tour date. June 20th in Toronto. Radio wants to send you and a friend with travel from tripcentral.ca. The smart way to book travel.

Tonight's hotel, $1,000 cash. Plus the new album on vinyl. Cloud 9, available now. Download the free Iheart radio app. Listen to Pure Country for 10 minutes. Win your way to Megan Maroney. World is hard on beautiful things. Every day you listen is another chance to win.

A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what you're saying. Yep, that's me, Clifford Taylor the 4th. You might have seen the skits, the reactions, my journey from basketball to college football, or my career in sports media. Well, somewhere along the way,

this platform became bigger than I ever imagined. And now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show. This is a place for Raw, unfiltered conversations with some of your favorite athletes, creators, and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated. One week, I'll take you behind the scenes of the biggest moments in sports and entertainment, and the next we'll talk about life, mental health, purpose, and even music. The Clifford Show isn't just a podcast. It's a space for honest conversations,

stories that don't always get told, and for people who are chasing something bigger. So, if you've ever supported me, or you're just chasing down a dream, this is right where you need to be. Listen to the Clifford show on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford and at TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok. I feel like it was a little bit unbelievable until I really start making money. It's Financial Literacy Month, and the podcast Eating While Broke is bringing real conversations about money, growth, and building your future. This month, hear from top streamer, Zoe Spencer, and venture capitalist Lakeisha Landry, Landry, Pierre as they share their journeys from starting out to leveling up.

If I'm outside with my parents and then see all these people come up to me for pictures, it's like, what? Today now, obviously, it's like 100% they believe everything, but at first it was just like, you gotta go get a real job. There's an economic component to communities thriving. If there's not enough money and entrepreneurship happening in communities, they fail. And what I mean by fail is they don't have money to pay for food. They cannot feed their kids. They do not have homes. Communities don't work unless there's money flowing through them. Listen to Eating While Broke from the Black Effect Podcast Network

on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. On a recent episode of the podcast, Money and Wealth with John Hobriant, I sit down with Tiffany the budgetista Aliche to talk about what it really takes to take control of your money. What would that look like in our families if everyone was able to pass on wealth to the people when they're no longer here?

We break down budgeting, financial deals, discipline and how to build real wealth, starting with the mindset shifts. Too many of us were never, ever taught. Financial education is not always about, like, I'm going to get rich. That's great. It's about creating an atmosphere for you to be able to take care of yourself and leave a strong financial legacy for your family. If you've ever felt you didn't get the memo on money, this conversation is for you to hear more.

Listen to money and wealth. John O'Brien from the Black Effect Network on the I'd Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Love Gus. Gus. Gus, and I know you pointed to Hazel. He knows Gus, and you don't know that I know Gus, but Gus and I go back. He did ask who was flying in.

Yeah, Gus flew in. Sir Patrick Stewart flew in. Okay. To do a voice. He did that, to do a voice. Sheba Chada, huge Indian actress, I'm sure you know. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. I know, yeah. Bit of a, what's her name again? Bit of a what? What's the end of that sentence? Bit of a what. I got to hear her name again. I asked first.

I asked first. What did you ask? Well, in terms of just being polite. I said her name is Shiba. Okay, bit of a Shiba hawk. A what? What's a she? What?

She smoked trees. She smoked trees, she smoked trees, brother. She's chief in the kind, buds, my man. And then we go to Bokstoniac to, um, called you guys have been to Pakistan, right? not today not today it's on my list yeah let me know if you need help

getting a reservation and he's uh he's an actor from Pakistan Sajid I do need help getting a reservation that was so nice yeah I'm happy to help with that and will you help then or you just want to know

you just want us to let you know if we need help no just tell me if you need help and then you will help so I'm not necessarily I need help. Huh? I thought there was something missing there. No, thank you for telling me.

I thought it was nice, too. He just wants to know that I need help. And this is how you get off. I just think it's good to share 100 kids. He had heard this. He needs help, and I don't. I had heard this one. I don't.

I had heard this. This is actually clarifying some things. This is how he collects people. Yes. I wish I didn't admit that I'd be able to help. Well, no, you've shared your vulnerability. And to rap? Rap as well.

So you are rapping? Not right now, no. And on the show, do you rap? No. Yeah. But off the show. Off of the show, yeah, I rap. You rap?

Yeah, we have a soundtrack for the show, and on the soundtrack, I rap. So you rap on the show. No, I rap in the soundtrack, not in the show. He doesn't. Who doesn't? The guy. James Bond. James Bond?

Or he does? No, he doesn't rap. It could be interesting. If James Bond wraps? Spitting some bars of the lueau. Oh, yeah, I might get them out of that sticky situation. I actually did get out of a sticky situation by rapping once. In Pakistan.

That's, okay, wait. Okay, we were sort of going to talk about something. No, go ahead. Tell you your story. No, I got to hear it now. I was in Pakistan shooting a music video once, and the military police came and took me in the filmmaker, and they were like, you shouldn't be here.

military base here and your foreign passport holders. And they took us into their station. You slow, sorry, can you just like, I really do want to hear this story, but it's like so much. There's too much of information. There's so much. I went to Pakistan, the restaurant that you're going to, I'm going to help you to table at. And they said, I was shooting a music video there,

and they said you shouldn't be here because you're a foreign passport holder and there's a naval base nearby. So you might be a spy. Okay. Okay. Took me into the station with the filmmaker. Mm-hmm. And we were there for a couple hours, and poetry is very big in Pakistan.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was just going to say. Exactly. That's why he's been wanting to go.

Mm-hmm. That's why it's on the list. The poetry zone. Big. So I told him I'm a rapper or a poet, and then he gathered the other offices around and asked me to perform some rap and I did and they liked it and they let us go. Wow.

So that could be if that feeds the plot of the bond thing you're thinking of. Wouldn't work for this one but it's actually always good to have another arrow in the quiver. I don't know when I'm going to use it, you know? In terms of what you want to talk about,

it is related to rapping. We have this man who works for the show. he's actually going to be the one who helps generate the clip where you talk about how none of the other actors are relevant yeah great so he's he's an editor he's amazing at this makes these beautiful clips these little bite-sized segments of the show we'll send you some of these clips you know what it feels like to actually do the show but when you just watch a two-minute clip it actually kind of looks like it could be fun and he's able to sort of manufacture that feeling and so he's It's like his calling. It's what he's chosen to do.

But it's not what he thinks he's good at. What does he think he's good at is rapping. And he will often send us a text in the middle of the night, 3 a.m. 4 a.m. and he'll go, I had an idea for the show. I don't think like, oh, does he have a great question that we could ask Riz? And he'll say, the idea is, I'll do a seven-minute rap, and you guys will watch.

And then he'll send it to us. And then, like, two hours later, he'll send another one that says, Actually, don't read that one. Yeah. Read this one. Or he'll send a new one and then five minutes after that he'll go like, never mind. I guess I'll just walk off a bridge or something. I haven't had a chance to listen yet.

But because he didn't immediately get the feedback that he wanted. I thought, we got a real rapper here. This guy's rapping his way out of the naval base in the restaurant. And he's got these crazy stories of his rap achievements. he's on the soundtrack could he actually help this man know whether it's time to fish or cut bait

in terms of his rap career so he's submitted to us one of his songs one of his rap great and we've got printouts of the lyrics we thought we could listen to a little bit of it and he's a sweet kid and he's a nice kid don't like

but maybe but sometimes the kindest thing to do is to let him know how you really feel we can put the headphones on and listen to this so you have Are you familiar with the concept of deliver anyway on like when you're texting someone and it's like they have their notifications off? Deliver anyway. That's Zach.

Deliver any with the concept of deliver anyway is is Zach. Yeah, you're on due not to stir, but you will be notified when Zach has something. Wow. Yeah. Okay. So what is this now? These is Zach's things. So now we are going to need the cans.

Oh, it wasn't familiar. We're all putting these on. It's fascinating. He's never seen headphones before. This guy was kind of talking down to us about some of the stuff we know about. But I actually love moments like this because we all kind of exchange.

Yes, this is like the classes at the library. We're going to have something about naval base. Naval base. Yeah, he said naval base. My naval has gotten very base. My navel's extremely based. It's been debased. Yeah.

but okay yes yeah okay sure do we have the track please everybody saying I know I'm a lady to arrive I'm crafty like mcggyz in the back to capitate and no way more driver I need way more fiber an a ol sireb try to strike me down see how your hand faulty as you lost as hell but hold yourself responsible like hey waldo how about not going to the fucking carnival Dressed like the fucking carnival This shit's not impossible It's simply improbable

Do I have stopped And take it verse by verse? Yeah What's the best way to do it? This is like your story It's just like so much happening It's like so fast We need all the pieces

It's probably like bait too What do we did a couple How many episodes? Of bait Yeah There are six episodes of it That's how many there are of this rap That's how much of the rap

There's how much of the rap Six episodes of rap And is this episode one? This is episode one. It's amazing. Wow. And there's commercials in it as well. Sad, supported.

Does you wrap the commercials in the middle of the verse? I've never heard that before. There's a very interesting concept. He leaves breaks. And if you pay, you can not hear the commercials. And if you pay even more, you can not hear the rap at all. But I'm thinking we could reach out to some brands because we've got AOL on here. Yeah.

Waymo. We've got. Are you worried that. Luigi Mangione. He said he was decapitating a Waymo driver in that line that that is going to affect that brand relationship. Because Waymo doesn't have drivers, does it? I guess because he decapitated them all? Is that?

In the back, decapitating a Waymo driver. Yeah. What's an AOL cyber? Riz, we got to take your ass to the library. Dude, we're getting out of here in the black car Forget Club DBA. We're going to the damn library.

Yeah. And it's going to be in AOL. We're going to shut that place down tonight. Okay. Private room in the library? We're closing it down. Private room. You sound like you know what an AOL cyber is, my doggy.

Pups and balls in the library with you guys? Yes, Rhins. Yes. Okay, great. Now you're speaking my language. So, yeah, so this is great and I like it. And I'd like more. Okay, he's mad at Waldo.

He's mad at the character Waldo from the books. He says, how about not going to the fucking carnival dress? Are you familiar with, is there maybe a British versus Waldorf? I think it was where's, where's Wally? Wally, okay. Where's Wally? He's mad that Waldo went to the carnival dressed too much like the carnival and it made it. Him camouflaged.

And this is what he does. Because some of the clips he does like are actually. not good. Some of them are not. Really? Some of them are fine. But then it's this type of excuse thing. It's like, oh, it's the material's fault.

Mm-hmm. You know? That one. It's Waldo's fault. Yeah. Mm-hmm. That I can't find him. It's those guys fault.

In my memory, Waldo's never dressed any differently. What the fuck is happening right now? I'm trying to figure out what he means. Episode two. Hit it. Extremely handsome. I'm like Luigi Manjian. I'm playing Luigi's Mansion.

Baby, this sad anthem. Pay that ransom For I take a lit torch To the whole damn fandom I'm God damn so where'd you find these bars I better hide for you find me In your gross be voire

I'm a cartoonish villain Let you farm eat scar Catch me in a streetcar With Blanche de Bois You might know what that's me am But to me that's Burma Start and Revolutionary Wars from a burner Keep talking man see what flattery earns ya

By the way, what's that ever is My name's Zach Turner I'm thin of fine to finish Okay So now you've been introduced, but we did tell him how to do that. I think that's good. I like this verses three and four. Let's got some bars, man.

Yeah, I don't really know what was going on with Wall, though. But some of the other cartoon characters he mentions were starting to actually connect with me. Yeah, Jafar, Scar, Blanche Dubois. I also love the geographical element. I wish he would respect the name of that country that the people chose. which is Myanmar Oh yeah yeah yeah There's something offensive about it

He took pains to disrespect An entire nation He's shots fired I think he wants to start a feud With Myanmar I just want to say I do not Support this man

I'm on Myanmar's side Yes If you make me choose Between Myanmar and Zach Zach's toast And we did tell him not to introduce himself to him. Yes. And the song.

Why did you tell him to do that? Do you think that would make the podcast awkward? He is... I thought that was the one thing that might make the podcast a little bit uncomfortable for you. To be... You thought he might have a rap, have to have a rap-introduce great vibe. Well, I knew that you were enjoying yourself. No, you thought...

No, no, listen, so what you thought was, let me get it straight, you thought, we're going to be having fun I've done my research about his show he's flown in from London to talk to us done research he's going to help me get a reservation at Pakistan

and it's all going to be hunky dory but the last thing I'd want to do is to waste his time with a rap that's what you thought I'm just trying to follow the train of thought that was yeah so if you could call it a train if you could get mad

or the clip if you could like What's the What's the um What's that for the clip for Zach? Great yeah What Stop whispering in my ear like that

It's so fucking weird When you're going Hey could you lose your shit at me Could you go off the I'm not going to fuck. I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to make me seem like a violent man again. But this is a comedy.

You want me to what, sorry? Call me a bitch. You want me to call you a bitch? I'm going to leave that to the comment section. They would do my work for me. And the people of my and more. And the people of Myanmar, too. Do you know what bitch is in Burmese?

In Burmese? Yeah. If that's a language. Tell me it's not Sean Clemens. That's going to be such bad news. The entire country was instead of what this. It will be now. It'll be shown.

It's going to be that. Oh my God. That's pretty bad. Although. No. You thought your Google page was. Can we continue with the matter of hand? Let's finish the rap.

I'm like, yeah, I'm going to be a mark. I'm going to lose it all. Finna be slim for my ass in love. I'm finna have a marriage that's quickly an awed. I'm finna make a kill a 16. Sorry, can we finna stop this? I'm finna for a minute. Why is this guy I keep saying finna?

Because he can't say that. We are. No, no, no, listen. Yeah. He can't say that. Yeah. If he wants to disrespect Burma, Myanmar, whatever, that's a white thing to disrespect. Disrespect of foreign nation.

Non-white people, I understand. but Finner's not a white thing. We have been working on that with him. And it sort of came down to choosing between this and introducing himself to you in the lyrics. And he did end up doing both. So we were trying to pick our battles. When you are helping someone disengage from a series of

terms that they use. that they probably shouldn't. You think baby steps is the best way to get someone to stop saying racial-racialized words. Yeah, I think you go in the order of what's the most damaging. The fact that we've gotten all the way down to Finner from where he started. Okay. To us, that's amazing. The early mistakes.

You have to understand, this is a huge win for us. Yeah. You know, it's like you quit things in the order that's killing you. So maybe you get off the hard drugs, then the liquor, then the cigarettes. Then the finner. So, yeah, he's still, you know. Yeah, he's still hitting the vape a little bit with the finna, but you should have seen the guy when we found him. Okay, let's hear a little more.

Okay. Make a millie of my memoir, Finn across the ball and a pristine con. So away with your broad off the coat of voir. I'm magic like Tada, funny like ha ha. I'm wickedly talented like. When I come see you, Dev, I'm afraid I won't forfeit. I'm holding up your skull like a last boy you are. Because he's still different.

That was from Wicked. Did you know that? You looked like, what is he saying? Why is he saying, I'm wickedly talented like, can you play that bit again? So, yeah, so that is. Dividalty talented, like. That is from Wicked. That's from Wicked.

That's from Wicked. They say that in Wicked. So he's, they say, ah, ah, that's not from Tarzan? And I don't know if your whole thing was just to make me defend, Zach. I thought it was also kind of studying close. It should be, I'm Tarzan. You thought that was racial as well. You know what?

I agree. I'm Tarzan. And then right off to that, he's talking about kidnapping women in the coat de voir. Off the coat de voir, yes. Off the coat of war. I just don't have the picture it's painting. He did actually paint us a picture on the last time he was in here. What did it look like?

We're trying to steer him more in the rap direction as a result of that. Just as a creative outlet. It's a little bit of whack-a-mole in terms of what we're dealing with with Zach here where, you know, you kind of said like, hey, maybe move away from the rapping. And then you see his painting, you go, okay, let's camp out again on rapping for a minute until we find a better solution. You would have put the energy somewhere. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Do we want to let him finish it or do we want to?

I think it's up to you. I would love to finish this. Yeah, let's finish it. Okay. Yeah, I'm afraid I won't forfeit. I'm holding up your skull like a last boy, you're egg. Oh, shit, heck, please don't hurt them. They're begging me to stop, but I still ain't heard them.

They're yelling for the gods, but don't speak no German. They're begging for the God, but forgot their sermon. It's the lovable love with a punchable mug. They're yelling for the cops. They're yelling for the cops, but don't speak no German. Yeah. I couldn't guess. What is that about?

I couldn't begin to guess. Yelling for the cops, but don't speak no German. I couldn't begin to guess. I couldn't. I've only got one guess and I am saving it. That's why I can't. That's why I can't begin to guess. Okay, let's continue.

Hey, didn't I see you at a party asking with my hug? I just hope for no regrets when my deathbed comes. This is a rebellion speaking like coming Rogue One. Oh, nice, yeah. I'm a doctor recommended. Call me Pagliacci. I'm bound to be found actor. ridiculous probably. Catch me with

some twins like my ass wasn't sin. Steady texting you girl like what we're thinking for dinner. You know lately I've been thinking like I might be a winner. Why your ass stays bitter. I mean, shit, go figure. Thank God there's no second page. Yeah. So, uh-huh, thanks guys.

Let's give him. Should we wrap this up? Just a, like a quick review. Bait is 95% on rotten tomatoes. It is, yeah. What do you give? on the tomato meter for Zach's rap. How many wrapped tomatoes?

Well, I mean, I don't give up. He was inspired, right? By the bars. And that was bars. And, you know, the thing is, you just give something fresh or not fresh, rotten or fresh. And it's a consensus that creates the rating.

Actually, 95% on the tomatoes. Yeah, but that's, that's do you want me to give a number or just say fresh or what you're going to say? I'd like you to give a number. I guess

like a series of reviews enough to create a consent because they don't like just, you know, they can't have a rating off of like what are you doing? You're an incredible actor.

Why did you give a review as James Bond? Give one as risk. Give a review as, you know, one of the other gentlemen in the show. You can give us one as

as, as Patrick Patrick Stumann. I would give this a 10. The pig's head? I would give this 10% on Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah. I'll give certified rotten.

And I'm grateful for Zach that he had that moment where you said that it was a 10. Yeah. Just before you knew it was percent. Uh-huh. And he's an editor. So he'll be able to make the clip. He'll be able to cut it off right at 10. Yeah.

It's eye of the beholder. I would give this a 10. Yeah. Percent. Mm-hmm. Yep. And he can also end this episode whenever he wants. Like he can just say like bye. He's kind of God, isn't he in a way?

Yeah. He's kind of the most powerful guy. Why isn't he in here? Why aren't I talking to him if he's the one really calling the shots? Because I've got a crazy day. I've got a black car waiting outside. I've got a reservation for 16 people at Pakistan. Bye.

new Saviche spot down the street. It's not open yet. Oh. Oh. So why, why am I not talking to the shot caller?

Bye. A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care which I'm saying. Yep, that's me. Clifford Taylor the 4th. You might have seen the skits, my basketball and college football journey,

or my career in sports media. Well, now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my. brand new podcast, The Clifford Show. This is a place for raw, unfilled of conversations with athletes, creators, and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated. So let's get to it. Listen to The Clifford Show on the IHeard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your

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