Hollywood Handbook - Ross Mathews, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: June 1, 2015

Sean and Hayes encounter a new Earwolf engineer and talk about the hot new movies Aloha and San Andreas. Then, ROSS MATHEWS comes by the studio to talk about bagel class with Sean, give Intern Andy advice about interning, and answer Popcorn Gallery questions about working for Jay Lego and an ancient fable.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. She tossed me the shovel and says, start digging. I don't know what I'm supposed to be digging. Digging for or for? Or for, yes. But I just make a nice hole, finish it. She shoots me with a gun. Oh, my. What did she think that was going to do? I, to this day, have no idea.

But what happened, it sort of... I did a spin. Of course, there's a bullet coming at you. But the wind of it, it made it so windy and I was so surprised that I did fall into the hole

and then I go to sleep. I wake up, I'm so dirty. I did fall into the hole. And then I go to sleep. I wake up. I'm so dirty. There's dirt all over me. Heavy dirt. From the wind just blew it back in, I guess. Nobody knows. I haven't spoken to Kathy at this point.

I've seen her from my car. And I yell out to her trying to get her attention yeah but she didn't look she was listening to yes something i don't know i didn't hear it so i don't know what it was but anyway so i'm underground and um so i made friends with the family of worms, and they created kind of a straw for me to... Breathe. Yeah, and speak. To the people walking by the woods. Yeah, the overlords is what we call them.

When you live in the ground, you call humans who walk on the surface of the earth the overlords. That's right. And then one of them dig you out hey welcome to hollywood handbook and insiders guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet linebacker always of this industry we call showbiz what up what up it's nice to be back i'm back from you're back and i'm back and you were and you were in another part of the country and I was in a different country entirely and we didn't want to scare people. So we didn't necessarily say,

Hey, this is where we are. Um, uh, but now we're here and we made it safe. I did say where it was. I said a bunch of times, but it sounds like you would like,

and I said, yes. And I didn't say, and I'd like to keep it a secret because I don't want to scare everyone. It looks like you're getting a phone call, and it's a 310. That's like a Beverly Hills area call. Yeah. Maybe that's an agency.

Yeah, you should recognize it. And that seems like it's an agency. So that is cool that you got that call, but even cooler is that we're both here, and we're in the studio, and we're having this fun time talking and seeing you again and I haven't seen you and I miss your face, boobies. I miss your face. It's so nice of Engineer Cody so we wouldn't feel uncomfortable and think that anything has changed somehow in the time we were away

to be covered in poison oak. Yes, it was. Cody, what was that? What just happened? As a kindness. The other engineer came in to get the camera. That's an engineer? I've never seen that man in my life.

He's a new one. A new engineer. A new white male engineer. Get out of here. You guys hired another white male engineer? Caucasian. Way to stand up to the pressure. Caucasian.

Way to stand up to the pressure. Yes, I feel like people have been really, really pushing for you to get someone who's even a quarter Hawaiian. Spoiler, we're going to talk about the movie Aloha. But anything different at all, and just a white female would have been interesting. But you guys are standing firm, and I admire the strength that must take. Even someone with blonde or black hair would have been something. That would have been considered some kind of genetic differentiation. Somebody with a club foot. From the mousy brown thing that you guys are always bringing to the table.

So what, you're trying to differentiate yourself and be the poison oak engineer now? Yeah, no. I really hit my life right now, guys. Got it all over my body. Just oiled up. What did you think was going to happen? When you chose to tumble through the poison oak patch What did you think was gonna happen?

I don't know that it was my choice So much as I may have been pushed Well you know what Freud says about getting pushed There are no pushes So anyway as much as we are being happy today We're also being very pissed And I hope I'm speaking loud enough that people outside can hear me and maybe do something about it because it's people who work in this very office that I'm being pissed at today. Last week, we officially took over the Rotten Tomatoes podcast and annexed it and it's now our podcast.

And it now belongs to Wolf Cool and Sean and Hayes are the beloved hosts of said podcast. Now we find out that the old hosts, who are the guys who are doing it before? I'm sorry. I was writing an email. Just now. Why do you do this? Why do you make me? I wouldn't have had to know that you could have hidden it you don't have to put vice news in my ear feed you don't have to tell me you're writing an email all of this you could do surreptitiously mr cody why bad engineer now Mr. Cody Why? Bad engineer Now

Who is it? Bingo and Bongo? Who are these two Frickin' frack Motherfrickers Who host this Rotten Tomatoes podcast I don't know who they are

But they've made me so pissed Because they It turns out That they have continued To do the show Imagine my surprise When I see a show with the same name as my show, Rotten Tomatoes, come out, new episode this week, even though I already told them it's mine,

and it's talking about movies too. So in order to really just make it absolutely crystal clear that this is our podcast, now we do it,'re gonna do two episodes which is more than they did yeah and so here's one episode and it's called aloha and i gave you a little hint we might talk about it earlier now this movie haze tell me what you think. I didn't see this movie, but neither did any of the people who are looking for reviews of it. So they are talking to a guy they can trust. This is someone they can relate to. Because I'm like them.

But I love all island stuff. I'm on island time. I mean, relax. I'm on island time. I love being at Hawaii I love the guys there and people get sort of

when you call them Oompa Loompas people that don't know the culture get very weird but that is actually what they're called they're not the same as the cartoon ones but that is actually what they're called they're not the same as the cartoon ones but that is based on those guys it's from yes it's inspired by it's it's like when you um see a drawing of a bird and it's that's based on a real bird normally um uh daffy duck that's a real duck that is based

on there is a duck somewhere yes Yes. That's the real one. I love the shimmy that they do up the tree when you make them get the coconuts one at a time and when all the coconuts are gone. Coconut water. I mean, is coconut the perfect nourishment? It's better than regular water because it's got a banana mixed up in it as well for potassium. Yes, that is the best part of coconut water is a lot of people don't know how they make it and they do smish up a banana which is how it gets so

healthy and so those aspects are great and so and too often too often when you uh go for a review for a movie you are talking to someone you can't relate to, some elitist who's seen the movie and is lording that over you. Now, Hayes was kind enough to not see it at all. I couldn't resist seeing some pieces of this movie, and I am sorry. So if you don't want to get talked down to, aloha to you, and that means goodbye. And if you do want to hear about it, aloha to you, that means goodbye and if you do want to hear about it aloha to you and that means hello and what a fun word now krasinski crackles and stone stuns in cameron crowe's epic winning film now i couldn't get enough of the stuff that happened in the movie. Coop was on cruise control,

and I mean it in the best possible way, like speed, too. He is at the height of his star power and was able to just sort of hang out in a film with fun people written and directed by the guy who brought you Elizabethtown, and I don't mean maybe, baby.

This movie had so many layers to it. Hawaiian mysticism, the sky, privatized military operations, a romance between a man and a woman 20 years his junior who's so clearly 100% white who was playing a quarter Chinese and a quarter Hawaiian and had to talk about that. Did I mention that Krasinski crackles? I mean, it was so good. And Rachel McAdams in a very likable, relatable character who I don't want to spoil too much, but has chosen to hide an important piece of information from two, well, three people very close in her life for 13 years so i think what is it okay well spoil people who are afraid of spoilers take off your headphones

she has a daughter in the movie who is cooper's daughter but krasinski's been raising her for 13 years and she hasn't told either of them or her daughter that wow put them back in put the head down here put the headphones in and anyone who's sick of Bill Murray doing jokes, we got good news for you. He also is kind of just hanging out in this film. And if you want to understand what's going on, get out of here. Because the dialogue kind of pops in this cool, fun, frenetic way where you don't totally get what's going on for a lot of it. And you don't really understand Bradley Cooper's job, and neither does he. So if you get a chance to see Aloha, say aloha to your $13 up at the ticket counter, and

then say aloha to a fine film with island stylings, and that means hello to it. So all that said, thanks for tuning in to rotten tomatoes we give this movie 95 tomatoes okay i give it 95 tomatoes yeah i give it one green splat one splat and we also want to talk about uh san andreas that's the second episode this one one's called San Andreas. I did see this movie, but it was Avatar. I saw Avatar. It was just the wrong disc? No. I read it.

I read the disc. I knew what it was, but I thought maybe I was hoping that it was mislabeled or something like that. And then once you kind of, once you dip your toe into avatar, it's very difficult to extricate yourself from, uh, from the world, uh,

um, pendulum. There's so much depth. Yes. Uh, well with the glasses, there's literally more depth. And I have the special ones that are sort of fully immersive where you can really put your face right up against the screen and it's like you're inside. You live inside the movie.

One thing I will say is it's irresponsible to be so scary, and it is too scary. I am in California, and they're exploding big piece of California with under the earth. Did they say what happened to you? Well, it's heavily implied that I have some real problems. Not since Invisible Man have I been so scared by something that should have been fun. The idea of being invisible, I thought, I get to see me, invisible, sneaking peeking inside some of the ladies' locker rooms. But that's not what happened at all in that movie, and it's certainly not what happened in this movie.

Wait, what was supposed to be fun about this movie duane rock johnson duane rock johnson duane rock johnson alexander dario cooker junior just a fun cast yes all my friends and i'm gonna go hang out with them in california in the state and cities I love. And it's a good season for that as well. It's summertime. Summertime. Hot. Warm. Could have had a picnic. But instead- That's what you were hoping to get from this movie. Yes. And instead you became scared. Yes. Well, San Andreas means St. Andrea. So I thought maybe we would all go to a church together and then have a picnic. Now, religion is a cause of most of the wars in the country and has killed more people in

every major disease. And so I wasn't so stoked on the church part, but for all I knew, we were going to splash around in the holy water and kind of say, guys, let's have a laugh. Let's not take this all so seriously all the time. And that might've been a good message for everyone. Instead, I'm not in it. Those guys are, but they're in trouble. They're getting hurt. So I would have to give this movie, based on the cast, 100 tomatoes. Based on how scary it was, only maybe two or three tomatoes.

And how many splats? Oh, gosh. 16. 16. 16. So, hopefully now it's become apparent to some people who is doing the podcast of Rotten Tomatoes. Sorry, we do have a guest coming on. We're about to introduce him, but you do have to say how many tomatoes and how many splats you give San Andreas slash avatar. Oh, yes. I give San Andreas 90 special glowing blue tomatoes with the little wispy parts that tangle into each other, and now you're bound to the tomato and you can control it.

We have a great guest today. Ross Matthews is here, coming in to be here on Hollywood Handbook So at this point the cork has been pushed all the way into the bottle and I go great now it's ruined but peekaboo street

says hang on just one second puts her mouth over the bottle. Sucks the cork out in one breath. With any wine? Not a drop of wine. Just the cork. Spits the cork at a dartboard on the far wall.

Almost a bullseye. That's amazing because the dartboard is made of cork as well. Well, and I guess it wanted to go home because it melded to it so seamlessly. Cody, I did notice you yawn just before you started playing the song. You should be excited about the song.

The song's one of the fun parts. You should be happy to hear the song. Is it because you have been doing a lot of Benadryl to treat your poison oak? That, and I'm just tired. Can I say, we have some guests here today. You should warn them that you're covered in poison oak before. I'm covered in poison oak, guys.

Ross, did you touch him? I just touched him. It just shook his hand. I'm sorry. The beginning of your sentence was inaudible. Yeah, because my mic wasn't up yet. That's all right. He's not tip-top tonight.

That's all right. Well, what you should know is this is the best he's ever done. Yes, yes. That's filled with the goo from the pussy sores. Hey, I can do that cork thing. You can do that too? No, I've never done it, but I think I could do it.

What is the secret to it, you think? You gotta commit. You gotta believe. I think that's my problem, is I never believed in myself. When I try to do it, I'm always doing it sort of half-heartedly. You gotta be all in.

Because I'm worried that if I try too hard that people will... What, you'll do it? You'll succeed? You're afraid of success, and I see that. Or that I'll swallow it. Oh. And that then my esophagus will become corked, and they'll have to use a cork to do it. Plugged up, yeah.

Don't knock it till you try. Hi! Hi! I'm so happy to be here. Thanks for having me. Thank you so much for coming in. Do you want to introduce me? Do you want to introduce me?

Yes, and let's go back all the way to the beginning where we say, Hello, and welcome back to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet line bike hallways of this industry we call showbiz. What up, what up? Ross Matthews is here. Hi. One T. Yeah. What happened to that other one?

You know, it's an ancestor thing You know They just dropped it I think so On the Lewis and Clark trail They lost one of the Ts They lost Great Grandma too But they lost one of the Ts

And we just went with it So Matthew's one T Sorry about Great Grandma That's alright I never met her You don't need that extra T You don't It's dead weight

When you're typing Think If you think about my whole life Added up how many Like seconds I've saved Not pushing that extra T in Matthews. If you add it all up. And what you've done with that time, because I always wonder how do you do so many things. Well, there's the answer.

Yes. Yeah. Doesn't have to type the T. You and Sean know each other from, I understand you took a class to learn how to make bagels at home. Yeah. Well, the water out here is no good for it. So we did take, it was... It's a hard water out here.

You need a softer water. Yeah, so Larry King flies in his Brooklyn water, and he teaches a great workshop over on Beverly and Martel. And Ross and I just hit it off right away because we were both. Well, we had the stations. We had the stations next to each other. And we were both, because you can make, you've got the mini bagel or you can do a thicker bagel.

I personally like a thicker bagel, and so does he. And we were like, oh, my God, your bagel's so thick. Yes, yeah, exactly. He's like, yours is thick. Laughing. I said laughing at all the thin bagel people. I mean, it's not the big difference, but our bagels were very, they looked a lot alike.

They looked strong. Yeah, hearty. Messy station or clean station? I'm tidy. And he keeps his clean and I keep mine messy. And we're sort of a natural pairing in that way. He's messy, but I'm clean. Yes.

Have you tried the the home recipe yeah oh yeah oh my gosh how's it going it's good you make them once a week in terms to leave the dough in the fridge and put in the oven when you wake up and then you eat them or because you don't like eating bagels right no i don't i don't eat carbohydrates but my friends come over people something to offer and i've had a lot of fun experimenting with recipes and putting sour gummy worms in there or any kind of crazy adornment you might imagine. Yeah. You didn't pass the class, though.

But he was one of the most artistic students. I was invited to leave fairly early into the class. And you were so kind to sort of text me some of the tips they gave afterwards. Yeah, and pictures. I remember I would send you, here's why. Yes, and it felt like I was there, although I was not. Yeah.

It was before Periscope. Remember? Yeah, yeah. Do you remember before Periscope? The world is so different now. Want to feel old? Yeah. Yeah.

We used to not use Periscope. What? What's the last thing you scoped, Ross? I was playing trivia at a gay bar in Palm Springs. I just drove in from Palm Springs just in time to come here. Get out of here. Yeah, true story. And so I was playing trivia

at a gay bar in Palm Springs and we put the old Periscope on and then, you know what happened? By the end of the Periscope people came in who were watching me and came and found me and then we all drank together and that's desirable you know i probably won't do that again where i start to say where i am but uh it ended out great this time i could see how in the future it could end horribly but this time it ended up super duper here i am this is exactly where i am and i'm here now, and this is what I'm doing. Yeah, that was a mistake in hindsight.

But going forward, you know, a little safer. Yeah, good to learn on one of these ones up in Palm Springs. And if you're going to tell people where you are, it's good to be near the Salton Sea, where all the best fans are. Stop. Don't you talk down about my Palm Springs. I said they were good. You know, I'm there as often every second I can be you talk down about my Palm Springs. I said they were good. You know, I'm there as often every second I can be there. I'm in Palm Springs.

I like a senior citizen. I like early sensible bedtime. And rat pack stuff. Not where I go. I mean, I go where the gays are. You don't like the rat pack? You know, it's not my thing. I just sold a house that was four houses down from the Sinatra Estate. That's a true story. Wow. I know. People can rent it. You can, it's not my thing. I just sold a house that was four houses down from the Sinatra Estate.

That's a true story. Wow. I know. People can rent it. You can rent it. Are you eating at Norma's when you're there? Norma's at the Parker, yeah. I have the breakfast quesadilla.

That's a true story. Do you go there? Oh, yeah, yeah. I get the shrimp frittata, no doubt about it. I think it was a special. Yeah. That sounds great. I'll get it next time if it's on the menu. Yeah, well, tell them yes. Tell them that you said it. Tell them it was a special. Yeah. That sounds great. I'll get it next time if it's on the menu.

Yeah, well, tell them yes. Tell them that I said to make the shrimp frittata, and I think they'll really... I didn't know. I knew people who knew people. Yeah, when you're at Norma's, mention it. And then have a few rounds on the bocce court and tell them I sent you there as well.

Okay, thank you. Ross, you're so busy these days. Doing podcasts. Yeah, I're so busy these days. Yeah. Doing podcasts. Yeah. I started a podcast 30 weeks ago. Wow. It's called Straight Talk with Ross.

And it's really fun. And it's straighttalkwithross.com or straighttalkwithross on iTunes. We have big celebrities come in. Chelsea Handler was just on. Kelly Osbourne. RuPaul. Khloe Kardashian's coming on next week. And we talk to them.

Talk about my POVs on things. And then we give advice from, like, the gay best friend you wish you had and know you need is the tag. And it's, like, Dr. Laura, but higher pitched and less horrible. You know what I mean? Just a little less judgy. How much less? Like 100%. 100%? Like, she's a little judgy. How much less? Like 100%. 100%? She's a little judgy.

I don't judge. I just have an opinion. Well, she is a for real judge, I believe. I listen to her. No, that's just Judy. Yes, you're right. Yeah, I think that's right. You're right.

But I do listen to Dr. Laura on the regs because I like people who have an opinion. I don't need to agree with you. I just like that you have an opinion. Yeah. Which is why I like you guys, right? Yeah, we definitely have opinions on stuff. Strong opinions. Say something.

Name something and we'll take a big stand. Racism. Well, we don't really want to touch that one. Well, it's not really the place of the show. That's not a black and white issue, and this is not a joke on the two races that I named. We don't want to ruffle feathers. We don't want to take a huge position on,

that's a complicated one. Okay, homophobia. Okay, okay, well, see, the show, the show's supposed to be a nice show, a fun show, and so we don't really

like to touch on necessarily stands like that. We do have big opinions, but about small things. What about, okay, well then little people, little people. Oh, okay. Should they be able to get married?

Why not? I think they're the best. Doesn't hurt anyone. I guess. What they do in their bedroom is... Knock yourself out. What they do in their bedroom is their business and occasionally my business. I understand. I understand. Every once in a while, I decide to make occasionally my business. I understand. I understand.

Every once in a while. I understand. I decide to make it my business. All right. Because you can do that now, Periscope. What an open-minded show. Yes, that is something we like to tell people is that our minds are so wide open.

And minds are like parachutes. They only function when open. And that sign on my math class when I was young has always stuck with me now we have an intern oh yes and you were an intern yeah i started in show business as an intern yeah behind the scenes at leno yes yes lego you it's jay lego okay at the tonight show uh we said leno but i you're from a different part of the country. And I started there 14 years ago and worked my way up. And I have intern pride.

So whenever you say, this is our intern, I get all excited. I want to meet them and say hi, good luck. And then you're presented with intern Andy. Who was a little late. I was looking forward to meeting Andy. That. Who was a little late. I was looking forward to meeting Andy. That was kind. And you were a little late. Yes.

And what was the opinion, if you like these strong opinions, what was the opinion on lateness when you were working for Jay, the Jay man? Unacceptable. Unacceptable. If you were late, you were out. Yes. And I always show up early. Well, that's what a great first tip for intern Andy, who's here today.

Hi, Andy. Hi. Not to perform any service, but really just to get a lesson on being good at intern. Because Ross now, judge on RuPaul's Drag Race. Yes. Bang. That could be you. You were on House Hunters.

Boom. Yeah. Days days of our lives yes i played chris on days of our lives kabloomy and so i mean we don't want to keep exploding you with all these sounds but andy the guy's done a lot and every time i check in with you it's like what are you doing and what do you say, Andy? Usually there's not a whole lot going on. Yeah, not a whole lot going on. But you're lucky, Andy, because you get to show up. You can dress like that.

When we were an intern, when I was doing it, I had to be presentable on time, plight. I couldn't wear my hair like that. So this is good for you. I think this is a nice place. They obviously don't care about your potential or even your future. And I think that's great. It frees you up. It takes the pressure

off. I can't wait to learn. I'm really excited. Well, we asked you to come with some good questions and I see you just feel like you have memorized them. Because there's no piece of paper. No note-taking apparatus whatsoever. But that can be a good thing.

You worked hard on this at home and prepped and memorized it all? Yeah, it's all from the heart. It's all internal. Then let's start with questions. Was that a joke? I'm sorry. It's all, you know, it's all internal. Let's start with questions. Was that a joke? I'm sorry. It's all internal? Was that a joke? Was that a play on the word

intern? Do you think that's funny? Well, I don't, but I'd have to check with Hayes. I mean, sometimes he gets things that I don't necessarily get. I would have to know if it was a joke first. I don't want to say something's funny and then be told that it wasn't a joke that it was something very serious yes i've laughed at things that were meant to be serious before and it's gotten me in a spot of hot water a time or two i'd like to say something before we get into andy's formal questions, I've heard that at the J-Lego show, if you were to show up with your hair like this

or dress like this, it's a pretty strict show. What kind of punishments would you be forced to do? And maybe that'll give us some ideas for how to discipline Andy. Well, yeah, and it's not just at Leno. It sounds so weird to me when you say that. I guess it's my accent. It must be from different parts of the country.

But I don't think it's just there. I think it's kind of universal. At any job, right? You couldn't show up looking like this. It's Universal Studios as well. Yeah. NBC Universal, yeah. Which is where the show happened.

So that seems like kind of the same. Happened all over it, yeah. Right. Anyway, I don't know what kind of punishment. I never did it. I would never dream. Right. And none of the people who were there.

I think once you earn a spot at that level, you kind of know not to make mistakes like that. Literally not a single person working there would have ever done one of the many things we've listed off as things that are wrong with Andy. That's interesting to know. That's interesting to know. But, you know, I think, you know, you should keep trying, Andy. Well, maybe that's what the questions will,

maybe somewhere in there will be the magic spell. Give us one of these memorized questions. Well, one thing I was curious about, I know that you really stood out to Jay, and he really saw a potential in you. Do you think that will be a problem that I have a lot less energy, and I'm a lot less articulate, and I'm just not as magnetic as you are. Good object lesson, let me say. In case you weren't aware of the problem he describes in the question,

the way he does it shows you exactly what the problem is. Which is great. I knew what you were asking before you even said your third word, which I think is a skill, and you should go with that. Okay, great. Next question, please. Okay, what exactly is wrong with this shirt? You know, the shirt itself, there's nothing wrong with, you know, I'm sure when it was

made in the mid 80s, it was at the height of fashion. And I think if you were to give it a new life with an iron and maybe detergent, I think it could be passable. And I hope that for you one day. I really do. And I think you can do it. Great. It's good to know someone believes in me.

Well, I didn't say that. I think you can do it. I don't know. He knows how easy it would be to do it. I don't know. He knows how easy it would be to do it, and seeing you as a human being who moves around, it's reasonable to assume that you might be able to. I'm saying because he has limbs, and I assume electricity,

and I don't know, that's a good start. So I think he can do it. Yes. I also think he can do it. Okay. But I don't have any confidence in him doing it. No, I don't think he can do it. I don't think he will. Yeah. But I think he, I don't think he can do it. I don't think he will. Yeah. But I think he could, you know, he could do it.

He could. He could. Yes, he could. Yeah, and that's enough. That's something. That's what it said when he first sent us his CV. It says limbs on it under special skills. Yeah. Well, he knows what he is going for.

He's got them. He wasn't lying. That's half the battle, knowing what you have. He's got a bunch of them. So good for you, Andy. What's your next question? I've been interning here for about a year now and I haven't actually done any work so far.

I haven't done anything. Is that normal for interns or should I be doing something? Well, I was an intern behind the scenes for three months and then they put me on television and I got to travel the world and interview the biggest stars in the country. And I don't know that you're on that sort of schedule, but you're on your own schedule at your own pace.

I don't think you could survive that kind of schedule and trajectory. So I think this is the best one for you. Why don't we do, wouldn't it be interesting to just put Andy in a position where he could walk himself through an interview with a major star. Sure. Like, who was the biggest, like a major... I'm sorry, I thought he was interviewing a big star.

Yes, and I felt the same way. And I think Hayes probably thought that too and just forgot for a second. I was just going along with Ross's trademark humility. I know you don't like to be referred to as a... It's kind of like calling your mom ugly. You know, I can do it. But if you call... You know what I mean?

Yes. I'll employ my trademark humility, but maybe you shouldn't. Well, and Andy's the stupid one here, so... Yes, let's point it all back at him. That shirt. Can you believe that shirt? And if some splashes off on the Cody, that's okay as well. That shirt.

Can you believe that shirt? And if some splashes off on the Cody, that's okay as well. So who was the biggest number one? Oh, I mean, they're all. I mean, I've interviewed just about anyone you could imagine. I mean, from royalty to Oscar winners and everybody in between. Gwyneth Paltrow was a big one. She's both. Royalty and an Oscar winner.

Mm-hmm. So how about that, Andy? What kind of questions would you ask Gwyneth Paltrow? Say already, hi. Hi, Gwyneth. Hi. When you won your Oscar for Country Strong. Yeah. Really?

Yeah. You got that one right so far, so good. What type of guitar did you use in that movie? Great question. I used an acoustic guitar, and I think that's why I won the Oscar.

Yeah, it's more organic. Can I just jump in? What's going to be a problem in a lot of interviews of this nature you may have noticed is horniness. Yeah. Even in a... Even in a...

Yeah, even in a pretend environment. And because I'm not even going to the Paltrow and I'm sitting across from you and suddenly it shifted. There was a definite sexual energy. Yes, there's a very Randy energy that comes out of Andy any time he's presented with the concept of speaking with anyone who he might want to have sex with.

I wonder if it's just celebrity. Let's try Morgan Freeman. Okay, let's see. Hi, Morgan. Have you won an oscar i have won an oscar um for um driving miss daisy uh-huh good what um did you have a beard in that movie you know i uh i went through a lot. It was a, you know, went through some different decades. And I believe at a certain point I might have had some facial hair.

Roz, I have to stop you. Do you feel it again? I don't know if we can air your answer because the question is so obscene. And it's nothing in the words. It's all subtext. I know. It's nothing in the words. It's all subtext. I know.

And just for the listeners at home, the slow slipping of your hand under your belt buckle, if you ask that question, I don't see what that motion has anything to do with the movies or anything like that. And the spit bubbles when I was talking? Yeah, there's a sort of bubbling drool. They float. They actually release from his mouth and float in the air. And I focused on his one free hand for fear that I would see where the other one went.

And I saw the knuckles go stark white as he gripped the table so tightly during the question asking that I just thought, what intense thing is happening for this man? Can I just point out, though, my acting, that none of that distracted me, that I stayed in character as Morgan Freeman throughout that. Real. You reacted exactly as he would have in that situation, which is as a total professional. Thank you. Both, yes, Gwyneth and Morgan were class acts.

Thank you. And you really brought that through. Thank you. I'm were class acts. Thank you. And you really brought that through. Thank you. I'm honored by that. Thank you. And we're honored to be a party to it. And we'd heard, okay, this guy doesn't just do podcasts. This guy wasn't just an intern who then interviewed.

This guy can act. Yeah. Thank you. And that's what we're seeing. Thank you. Andy, if you'd like to do something so much, if you're so desperate to do work, maybe you can get the sound cable for me. Sure.

And just reach over and pull out the sound cable, and then we'll put it in the computer. And then Sean's going to prepare you, Ross, for what you're about to hear. So this is a segment, and I hope you're not tired of questions because – Depends who's asking. Yeah. Well, yeah. Okay. Great.

Yeah. No. Andy is shut down. So we do a segment and it's got a great name and the name is it's called the Popcorn Gallery. And what does that mean? What does that mean? Well, the peanut gallery is something where people who had bought the cheapest seats in the theater were able to chime in in certain ways when they were watching a piece of work, theatrical work. But we talk about movies, and in movies, you don't eat peanuts, do you?

What do you eat, Ross? I eat popcorn. Popcorn, great. So popcorn gallery, and so people are asking questions from the gallery, the cheap seats, so to speak, which is the Internet for this show. And Hayes, do you have more to add to this? There's an issue with the Internet connection, so I don't believe we are going to be hearing the song. But you probably have a good impression. Let me guess who hooked up the Internet. Am I right? And he pointed at Andy and he's right.

I don't mean to point you out but you know I just assumed it's true well so we got the questions anyway we don't need the song do you want to do a quick piece of the song? Andy can you do that? yeah

the popcorn gallery it's time for it. Sean and Hayes do the questions, yeah. That's not bad. It's called peanut. That's good, right? In Andy's defense, that's not bad. That's pretty good.

Well, the song is so good. The popcorn gallery. The sort of anti-charisma that Andy brings to the table. It can't touch the song. It becomes not bad. The quality of the song. Speaks touch the song. It becomes not bad. The quality of the song. Speaks to the song. Yes.

All right. Let's reach into the popcorn bag and get a question. Okay. Oh, sorry. I'll play the sound drop now. It can be a little disconcerting. These sound drops are someone reaching into a popcorn bag, pulling out an object which represents the question.

Then you hear the question. These are emailed to me or mailed to me every week by my high school friend, Mark, who has a job pushing dumpsters into one another in my hometown. It's Andy's shirt receipt. It was free. Okay, well, it looks like, okay. Here's a question from NoHorseman. All right. He asks, hi, Ross.

You were a restaurant patron on Days of Our Lives. What was crafty like on that set? Oh, that's a good question. I i mean i didn't even remember that i was in a restaurant scene uh we didn't eat there was no food uh it's but that's the challenge in acting you know it's like because they wanted you to be hungry to be the restaurant guy no uh i'm talking about not eating food like looking like you're eating when you're not eating that's like you're acting like you're eating but there's no where. That's like you're acting like you're eating, but there's no food. Where you move the breadstick behind your head, like to the side of your head.

Yeah. As if you're munching it. Yeah, but try it without a breadstick. Whoa. Okay. But that's, not everyone can do it. That's why I was there. That's why I was doing it.

So that was cool. And, you know, it was at NBC. It was where Leno, do you understand what I'm saying? When you say... Are you trying to say Lego? I feel like I'm saying it, but you don't hear it. I worry that this was like a joke on you on the show. And that it's maybe been rolling all the way up to this very day.

I don't know. I thought it the whole time. Anyway, so that studio was next to Days of Our Lives. And so the food was really the NBC commissary. And I would always get the same thing. What was, was it the thing named after you? Yeah, I'd get the Ross. Yeah.

And what is that? Many, it's pork used five different ways. Ah, yes. And what are those ways? You have the bacon. Okay. The pork belly. Ah, yes. And what are those ways? You have the bacon. Okay. The pork belly. Uh-huh.

You have the pork shoulder. Yeah. You have the, it's like a ground hoof. And then the chicharron. It's the skin, but they fry it. Wow. And then that's all in a wrap. And I don't know.

It's delicious, though. So it's healthy. It's a wrap. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like a sub sandwich. It's like a healthy selection. No. It's delicious, though. So it's healthy. It's a wrap. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like a sub sandwich. It's like a healthy selection. No, I like to watch it when I put in my thing.

Yes, when you're having five different pieces of pork, you're going to want to have it in some sort of wrap. Was it a spinach wrap or was it straight pita? No, it was whole wheat. Whole wheat. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. And then there's just some sprouts and like a vegenaise. How do you say it? Veganaise? Oh, it's nice. Yeah. And then there's just some sprouts and like a Vegenaise.

How do you say it? Vegenaise? Oh, it's Lego. I feel like everything I say is wrong now. You guys have me feeling like I'm saying it wrong. No, Ross. No, no, no. We always order the Ross.

Now, you're looking at your, is that an Apple Watch? Yeah, I'm not being rude. I just got a text. No, no, no. I'm not rude at all. It's just we're such gadget freaks here. We love science and we love innovation and we're kind of nerds, to be honest. Oh, show me yours then.

Could we do that thing where we – This is the thing that I've been playing. I have the big one, the extra big one that I've been playing all the songs and stuff on. Oh, with the keyboard? And I have the medium-sized one, of course. So, yes, and it's the strap on mine is busted, I think, from the size of it, the sheer size of it. You can hold yours up to your face. I don't think I can do that with mine.

Yeah, and I just can't open or close. It just has to be the same. Sorry, it was tapping my wrist to tell me things. You guys can do that, too, I'm assuming. Yeah. Yes, I think I turned that function off. Mine is portable for sure for at least a little while.

Any more questions? Yes, let's reach into the bag and get another question. Oh, it's the tip Andy gave for his last haircut. It's a fucking pine cone. Andy, is this true, what Mark's telling us in these sound drops? I didn't have the cash that day.

I ran out. Okay. This question is from Houston, or Houston. I was actually just in New York, and that's one of the things there. Eye roll. Right? That street, though, do you know about it? Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Which street? Houston. What is the question? The question is, if the emperor's new clothes was retold in modern-day Hollyweird, who would you cast as the emperor? Now, do you know this ancient story? It's a fable tale?

Of course. It's about a famous king. I know. He said he knew it, Hayes. Hayes loves, he's a bit of a raconteur, and he loves any opportunity. I like to

spin tales, but if you know it. Well, Andy doesn't know, so it's okay. Andy doesn't know, yes. It's about a famous king who has a fancy gown. No, continue. Yeah, Ross, please. It's crazy. We're not sure we understand.

It's crazy. You can spoil it. It's crazy. There's this gown, and the king's, I don't want it. And then they get a new one and everyone's like. Brand new, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You've changed. The fit is extraordinary. So Nathan Lane. Oh, yes. Okay, as the emperor. A super talent. Yep. Mm-hmm.

Triple threat. Imagine him wearing those new clothes while he was hunting that mouse. That's the best scene in the whole musical. I have a suggestion, which is if somebody's getting new clothes, I think we should probably cast Andy. If that's what happens in this story, it seems like Andy could get some nice new fancy clothes. I don't know that in your position you should be

I feel like I haven't earned it. Talking about him that way. No but it's impossible for me to screw up because because Andy's the guy who's bad and we've said that already and everything if he's the one who's bad

then it must be me who's being good. Right? Oh, I didn't even think about it like that. I'm sorry. And that's on me. No, it's fine. It can be confusing. Andy throws everyone off a little bit. And I have a feeling that what part

of the energy is you have brought a woman with you into the room, not knowing. And this is if you want to just introduce her just to explain some of the weird energy that Andy's bringing. Well, my girlfriend's here. Yes. And if we could just if you could cover your ears because so you don't hear a female voice. My girlfriend is she doesn't like to talk.

Typical model. Oh, yes. You know what I mean? Isn't comfortable. Because they're so used to being in photographs that the sound of their own voice frightens them. Yeah. They only want their image presented. Yeah.

So, anyway. So, yes. You had no way of knowing what that would do to Andy. I didn't. No, I didn't. No. Yes. And it's awkward.

Yeah. It's awkward, and she's uncomfortable. Are you uncomfortable? No. She's fine. She's fine. Okay, great. And it's Cindy Crawford.

That's the most she's said since I've met her. But the sex is unbelievable. Yes. And it's Cindy Crawford. That's the most she's said since I've met her. But the sex is unbelievable. Yes. Sex with models, I love it because I love the way they look and it makes me turned on. Two perfect bodies coming together. Yes. And that's something nice, too, is to enjoy myself during that act.

Yeah. One more in the bag. Okay. Let's get in there. It's popcorn kernels. Okay, so that was kind of a boring one. All he found in the bag was popcorn kernels. I thought he was going to find something else related to Andy or you never know.

Now, I have a question from Jacob C. that could be a little disrespectful. That's fine. So this is from Jacob C. He says, Ross, what kind of lacquer did you use to get that sheen on Jay Lego's chin? And was it the same kind of lacquer you used on his cars and butt? God. We got to edit this. I think it was just plain old turtle wax. I think.

For all three? No, how dare. Just the car. I never touched the man. Honestly, you think you don't get success like this by sleeping your way to the top, Andy. So stop it. Sorry.

Ross, you must have this with some of your listeners where you can't be held responsible for all the crazy stuff they say. I mean, some of these questions we get. Anybody in your audience ever do anything? No, I mean, when you're at my level, you don't really have to deal with this. Right. You get the good ones. Do you have an intern now? No, I have employees.

That you pay? Yeah. We'll let that sink in. We can't let Andy know about money. Oh, he doesn't know money exists. Yes. Hold on, hold on. Let me go back.

Just rewind. He didn't hear it. Okay. I pay my employees with the gift of my presence. Yes. And a chair. Yes. And pine cones.

And when they're good, I give them pine cones. So, Andy. Yeah, that sounds pretty standard to me well Ross thank you so much for coming in and talking to us and teaching the little man here listen I think what you're doing for him is great

and I think that if it weren't I'm going to get emotional but if it weren't for what you guys do where would Andy be yes and that makes me emotional, too. It makes me very angry. That's an emotion. Yes.

I think, why am I wasting my time with this jerk? Andy doesn't know anything, and he's never going to learn. But also, sometimes that anger can be useful, and it'll propel me to get home faster to Steffi and the kids, you know? Steffi and the kids. Mm-hmm. Yes. Oh, that's great. Good for you to Steffi and the kids, you know? Steffi and the kids. Mm-hmm. Yes. Oh, that's great.

Good for you. Steffi Graf? Steffi Graf. Yeah. Did you meet? Was it a couples class? No. Oh, no.

She was not in the bagel class. No, but Steffi knows my girlfriend, which we didn't know in the bagel class until afterwards. And that's just one of those crazy things life throws your way. Well, it feels like a big city, but when you get down to it, it's a small town. It's so small. It is a small town. It is. It's a small world.

Oh, yeah. Yes, I think so. Yeah. Please rate us on iTunes and you be on the forums. Great. And then can you tell them to – hey, Andy, why don't you do it? Why don't you tell them – and you're going to do a good job. Tell them this is it.

I want you to impress me, okay? Okay, great. I've taught you a lot today, and I want you to use what I taught you to nail this. Okay. Tell the people about my podcast and how they can find it what I taught you to nail this. Tell the people about my podcast and how they can find it. Go. Alright everybody, check out Talking Straight

with Ross Matthews at TalkingStraight.com and on iTunes. Are you serious? And make sure to give it five stars and a good review. Are you kidding me with this? I'm so sorry about this.

Thanks for listening. The title of my podcast references a Dolly Parton movie. Okay? Straight Talk. Straight Talk with Ross. Straight Talk with Ross.com. Straight Talk with Ross on iTunes. It's free.

I said that when I got in here. You're supposed to talk about how it's free. It doesn't cause any pine cones. It's like, who is it like? Dr. Laura, right? Right. But what? Dr. Laura, but...

Gay? My girlfriend is here! His girlfriend's right in front of you. You've been slobbering all over her since she walked in the door. Jesus, Andy. It's less judgmental, right, Ross? You guys need to think about this.

He is a reflection of you. No, he is not. When I leave here. Ross, don't joke, okay? He's like one of those inverse reflections. Honestly. Like a mirror where it makes you look like you're a black guy. I came in here to be nice.

You know what I mean. The headphones are off. They're not going back on, I don't think. I came in here to be nice, and this is what you give me? And we also wanted to be nice. It's actually a very nice show, and we're actually very smart, funny, nice, cool guys, and people always think that. And it's just Andy that has ruined it.

We were so close to being out. God. I was three-quarters of the way through. It was the home run stretch. Do you guys validate? You're going to hate this answer. Steve H got the pro version. And what's his prize oh I don't know

a new intern you know what Steve H do we know anything about him because maybe Ross could give a good piece of advice like he does for all the people on his show he's got a kid do you have any child raising tips?

Yeah, I've raised, like, yes. You know, don't reward bad behavior. When they're having a hissy fit, just let them scream it out. It will get better. What are you saying, Cody? We're supposed to do these donor shout-outs right now? I was trying to remind you to not forget to do that. Do we have donor shoutouts?

Let's go back and do it in the... Yeah, we'll do it in the ad space, can't we? In the middle. Okay. Yeah. Bye. Bye. This has been an Earwolf Media production executive producers jeff ulrich and scott

for more information visit earwolf.com the wolf dead.