Hollywood Handbook - Sam Richardson, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: December 17, 2018

The Boys help SAM RICHARDSON #SaveVeep. This episode is sponsored by NHTSA, Harry's ( www.harrys.com/HANDBOOK ), Quip ( www.getquip.com/THEBOYS ), and Robinhood ( www.HANDBOOK.robinhood.com ).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Me and James McAvoy. We are trying to beat Shazam. Have you seen the show? So the way the show works now is you have Shazam the app, which was manifested by Jamie Foxx, who's the host of the show. But now they have Shazam the movie.

Is it crazy bright in here? It is brighter than usual. It feels insane. Do you want me to dim this? Or should we probably have someone else do it? I want Chef Kevin to probably dim it. Yeah, okay. I'm loving the story.

I'm loving the picture you paint. So Jamie Foxx is being Shazam. Yes, he plays Ash Shazam. But I almost can't imagine it because I need a little bit of atmosphere and mood to imagine something like that. And he made it so dim at first. Yes, sarcastically dim.

It was mean how dim he made it. Yes. Is this how dim you want it? No, just normal. He sort of was saying, this is you, to me. Like, I'm not dim. But go ahead, so you're beating Jamie Foxx and James McAvoy's in there. James McAvoy's my

teammate. Now, can I ask something about him? Has he been unsplit? Well, I wanted to know, is he still wanted? No. So here's the thing. He was wanted a really long time ago. Yeah. But he paid for his crimes by being the voice of Gnomeo.

He paid for his crimes by being the voice of Gnomeo. Ah. At long last, he was freed. Yes. But then he did get split. Dang, dude. But he has since been unsplit. Damn.

So, go ahead. Shazam, the movie. Yum. Zachary Levi Do you know about this movie? Oh, tell me about it again He's playing Shazam The superhero And he was an Earwolf guy

So there is a path for a big Earwolf host To being in a superhero movie Despite what Chef Kevin will always say to us Which is like Hey, there's no way they're going to let you guys be frigging double Aquaman. They're about to already do Aquaman. It's coming out.

They've got the guy. He wasn't a double guy, so there's no way. But they'll do another one. Zachary Levi's doing Shazam. But now he's in the movie, and he hosted the, what was his show called? Hey, guys, Chef Kevin here. What was Aquaman's show called? No, hosted the, what was his show called? Hey guys, Chef Kevin here. What was Aquaman's show called?

No, what was Zachary Levi's show called? Oh. Remember he'd come through and him and Labine would be chopping it up in the lobby. Labine would go, I just filmed this thing. Honestly, I don't want to jinx it so I can't tell you about it, but it could be huge. And Zachary would be going, oh, wow. You remember what the show was? No, it's not showing up on Google either.

I'll look into it. Do you remember? I can't remember. It was like, I mean, I want to call it like OMFG or something, right? Yeah, that's what I want to call it too. That's what all the shows from that era were called to me. So what happens is Zach Levi, the way the show works now, is he plays a song as like a ham bone on his hams.

And then you have to guess what the song is. Oh, nice. Do you want to try? Yeah, go ahead. Okay, let me put the mic next to my hands. Yeah, I got it. I got it. Ready?

Bring it in again. It's got tissue that I wish you saw. Yes. To my life was not to brawl. You got it. That was hard. With the birds of a shade. James got that one. Okay.

Because you kind of have to think of like how Zach Levi hears that song. Hears the song, yes. That's a big part of it. Yes. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook. Look at Insider's Guide to Kicking Butt and Dropping Names in the Red Carpet Linebacker Hallways of this Industry we call Showbiz. What up, what up?

Hi, Sam. Hi, Sam. Sam. Sam. Hey, what's up, fellas? Thank you. Hey, thank you. Thank you, honestly.

Oh, this is so nice. Sam's here. Sam Richardson. And Sam, and can I say this first? Can we just get this out of the way give Sam all the awards and then let's invent

some new ones thank you let's get this guy the awards already yeah it's about time yeah Jesus

yeah Grammy Awards please Grammy the CMAs I need The CMAs? I need a CMA. People's Choice. Critics' Choice. Would you like to rattle off some of the, any awards you do have? I do have a Wayne State University Career Achievement Award.

Wow. Does Wayne and Garth? Huh? Wayne and Garth. Oh, I did not go to Garth. I didn't know that they named a state after Wayne. After Wayne? Mm-hmm.

It was Bruce Wayne, actually. Oh. So, a misconception. Yeah. But, yeah. Interesting character. Detroit really loves Batman. Bruce Wayne is one of the most complex characters.

I agree. I agree entirely. He thinks he's friends with Batman. is one of the most complex characters. I agree. I agree entirely. He thinks he's friends with Batman. And he's so rich that no one will tell him. Yeah.

The Batman doesn't want to hang out with you. Batman doesn't like you. And they're never together. Yeah. But he's always talking about it. He's always talking about him, always referencing him, but always with a sly nod. Yes.

My friend Batman. Is there a picture of the two of them together? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Show me the two of you hanging out if you're such good friends. My friend Batman. Is there a picture of the two of them together? Yeah, exactly. Show me the two of you hanging out if you're such good friends. Prove it. Right?

I guess that's kind of what the crux of the character is like delusion being so rich you can afford delusion. Well, and that is really a mirror held up to society because look at some

of these guys, the money ones. And that is the- You've worked with some of them. Yeah. Many of them. Jesus. I'm almost one of them myself. No, I know. Yeah. And money ones. You've worked with some of them. Many of them. I'm almost one of them myself. No, I know.

And fingers crossed that you get there. Your lips to God's ears. And that's the Krups. Is you allowed to say that stuff about Bruce Wayne? Even though you did get a major award from him? You know, he's like a bit of a drunk. So I don't think, he's not listening to this at least. Who else got the award. You know, he's like a bit of a drunk, so I don't think – he's not listening to this at least. Yeah.

You know. Who else got that award? Asapatha McPherson. Oh. Yeah. What's your middle name? McPherson, not Merkerson. It might be.

No, no, no. That's somebody else. I'm asking. I'm asking. I'm talking about Asapatha McPherson. This is my ignorance. She gets that a lot. Asapatha McPherson gets that a lot.

They get each other's mail and stuff. Ah, yes. She is a bagpipe player. Well, and they're similar names. And they're similarly very talented. And that's the crups of the problem. Yeah, it's the crups. Yeah.

You know, the problems take getting in the elevator. Yeah. And it's going all take getting in the elevator. Yeah. And it's going all the way to the top. And you got to deal with it. Because the doors are about to open. Yeah. What's your middle name? For real, my middle name is...

Pharrell. Pharrell, yeah. So, talking about raining on my parade. And I was like, happy song. Oh, no. S. Pharrell Richardson. Mm-hmm. What do you think?

What do I think or what do I sing? What do you thing? What do I thing? What do you thing, dude? You know, I thing for the people is kind of my thing. Damn. I am for others. Let's talk about that.

You're in all these shows. Maybe too many. No offense. None taken. A little taken. And one of them is with Pally, friend of the show. Did our third episode when we were still

figuring out what we wanted to do. But now you figured it out uh who wow i didn't expect to confront this so early in the program yeah it's weird for we don't know each other that well yeah for you to just figure it out have you figured your what i'll say is we've tried more stuff. Yeah, that's good. You know, science is about experimentation. We tried like two more things. Yeah.

Since that third episode. Yeah, because in the third episode, we were doing real Hollywood-y stuff. Okay. And then we kind of went away from that, and now we've been dipping our toe back in. Yeah. But Pally, you guys did the show. Were you friends before or something? You know him.

We were like acquaintances. We knew each other, but we weren't like. Yeah. But you just kind of wanted to help him out. Yeah. I was like, let me toss this. He was like free-falling. Sort of in a bad way.

Yeah. His energy level is pretty insane, huh? Well, it's hard to map. Yeah. That's the, yeah. Yeah. His energy level is pretty insane, huh? Well, it's hard to map. Yeah. That's the hard part. Yeah. I consider myself like a reader of people. Oh, yeah.

And he's a little erratic. He's just like scribbles. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. But it's a challenge I took on, and I think I'm pretty proud of myself for being able to do that. What kind of book is my friend Sean here? Being able to do that.

What kind of book is my friend Sean here? Sean, you know, you're calligraphy, but like simple words. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Fancy packaging for what really is just like almost nothing. You know, it's like a book about a dog. Yeah. But it's like written in a really beautiful manuscript.

And the dog isn't even doing anything. He's not doing much. It's like doing normal predictable dog stuff. Yeah. He's hungry and then he wants a nap. A lot of the pages just say dog. Yeah. The first

200 pages all just say dog. And it's like a couple different languages but like mostly cognates. And the calligraphy gets sloppier and sloppier as you go. As if you're just tired of keeping it up. It's like they lost the thread, so the letters aren't the same on each page. Yeah, I think that's a pretty accurate representation.

I'd love to know, I mean, if Haze is a book. Haze is a book. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. Am I a book? Yeah. Wow. Like a catalog.

That's really nice. A catalog. Oh. Okay, cool. That is a kind of Yeah. Wow. A catalog. That's really nice. A catalog. Oh, okay. Cool. That is a kind of book. It is. It's bound. And what am I selling?

What wares does he peddle? What's that? It's like the new version of the SkyMall, but it's got the FAO Schwartz toys in it. Two failed enterprises. Yeah, you know, they come together to make one. That's a kind of a... You certainly weren't going to say an analogy for this show. No, no, no, no.

I thought better of it. Yeah. Well, that's cool. So what a nice catalog. And I do think Hayes is rather playful to sell all those toys. Yeah, from what I— And he's maybe sometimes a bit impractical, as SkyMall could be. Something that you maybe wouldn't get for yourself, but to someone else, you'd be like, hey, deal with this.

There you go. Yeah. Funny to watch you open it. Yeah. So, Pally, what's the story there? You know, he's a good man. A good guy. At heart.

At heart. He loves his coconut water. Does he not? He does. That's like his main water. Does he not? He does. That's like his main thing. Yeah. That's good. Yeah.

It's like just, but like the cans with the sediment in it. And I'll notice he's going, going, going. And when he's done, he's just done. Just done. Yeah. He'll sleep for a day and a half. Yeah, if he has to. Yeah.

You got to recuperate. You got to recharge. I think that's a positive thing. Mm-hmm. How's his memory? His memory of like drawing facts and stuff? Yeah, just, yeah. At any given time, does he seem aware?

I'd say his, well, his awareness and it's like spatial awareness that's a little bit problematic but he can like his recall is pretty good okay you know he's bonking into stuff he's like forgetting where and when he is uh-huh uh but like you can he'll be able to draw off a line in like a scene but then it'll be from the wrong scene. Okay. Okay. Yeah. But that's something,

I mean, it's from the same show off. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Often. Yeah. And,

and he's a really smart guy. Really well read. I know when I was working with him, he would, every license plate that would go by, he would decode it and explain to me what it was actually telling him about him. Interesting. I guess a lot of those are government messages to Adam Pally.

To Adam Pally. Yes. I mean, I haven't gone down the thread with him. How long ago was this? When I was working with him? Jesus fucking Christ, man. It was probably, Jesus fucking Christ, man. It was probably, holy fucking shit, dude. It was, Jesus, it was three, four, oof, it was 20.

Fuck me, dude. I hate to walk down memory lane like this. Holy fucking shit. That son of a bitch probably worked with me in 2000 and what fucking year is it it's almost 19 huh jesus shit man i'm getting old it was probably like uh four years ago okay yeah so yeah i guess i don't know if he's gotten to the bottom of this yeah yeah

no I think he's still a lot of them are like assignments for missions uh huh but I think now he is like learning to say no

yeah he's finally you know what I mean he's like receiving the mission still but now being like you know I just need a little time

some time for himself it's in the inbox but it's not replied to yes yes you know, I just need a little time. Some time for himself. It's in the inbox, but it's not replied to. Yes. Should we talk about maybe this is a tough thing for you to get into. But that's what we do on the show.

We have some of these tough conversations. You were, of course, Veep. The show is in the dumpster. It's in the fucking shit can. Yeah. You know, and maybe that's its own fault.

And that's... Yeah, maybe. Is it my fault? Well, no. Certainly not. And Devin, is it your fault? It's not my fault. Hmm, that was suspicious. Now I think it might have been his fault. Yeah, there's a little

shady. He says it. You're listening to this, but you couldn't see the shifty eyes. Yeah, because it could be my fault, too. I mean, you know, I'm at least ready to acknowledge that now. Butterfly effect, you know. Yeah. In fact, largely, it really could be

Hayes' fault and my fault. Yeah. Because we have been showing people what good funny shit can truly be. And what it truly feels like to just laugh your fucking dick off, crack up so bad. Right. And maybe that has had a negative impact on some of the shows that were comedies. Like frame of reference. Like all of a sudden,

if you see what actual comedy is, these things masquerading as comedy kind of can't stand up. And we'll go back and forth because we do think about this, the impact that we have. So sometimes we will suck shit. Oh, yeah. Just to like give other shows to lift them up. A year and a half, we sucked shit.

Then we did two funny episodes. Then we sucked shit again for another eight months. Uh-huh. And then I think this one will be good. Yeah, I think so. Do you want to do a good one? Yeah. I mean, now that Veep has got...

So they... They renewed Veep, obviously, for a new season as a joke a joke yeah they didn't think you would do it they really didn't think so everybody's working on other stuff and we're like we get the call we're like yeah so much stuff you want to talk about some of the other stuff you worked with too oh yeah yeah yeah uh so i i did this movie about trains. It was about model trains. It's called Training Day. Great title.

Yeah. Brand recognition. Brand recognition. That's the whole point. Brand recognition. It's all I eat. You want somebody to see that and say, I think I know what this is. Yes. And then see it.

Oh, it's something else. You know. So that's in the hopper. I'm very proud of it of course put that together like three years not even to mention that you uh were somebody who wanted you were a patron of the coat hanger factory in the show ghosted that the bureau underground was set beneath yes that was the very first episode after i unceremoniously left the show would you like to discuss it all were were people mentioning me was that sort of vibe around yeah

oh um yes okay and say no more. Okay, I won't. That's all I needed to hear. Yeah. Just to be thought of can be enough. Yeah. But let's talk. Some of your stuff was still around. Oh, good.

Oh, yeah. My Legos. Your Legos were there. Well, I had built a Frost Beast from Legos. Oh, it was broken. The pieces were there. Yes, yes. Oh.

There was a little ceremony to how you left. Sure. Yeah. Viking funeral. You kind of, yeah, you simulated a Viking funeral. I put my car in neutral and I had them push it down the street of North Hollywood into the cul-de-sac. Very busy. You're blocking the gate, so they have no other choice

but to all push you out to sea. The police have to come and block traffic. And then, yeah, and then they sort of threw Molotov cocktails into the open sunroof. But, you know, we don't have to talk about ghosted we're here to talk about v yeah yeah what so so it's all fucked up so what can you diagnose any of the shit that is fucking just so crazy about it about about like what's uh what are they doing what are they doing yeah i think if i'm being honest i think the hardest thing was to convey that these

are jokes ah okay i wasn't getting that yeah so so i i think maybe laugh track you know yes what it's missing nobody's laughing on screen or off or and but here's the thing i'm wondering is there like an audience there and this shit is just dying that is how it felt a lot of the time is that the audience was going no thank you no thank you right like if oh yeah like because we do shoot well i think we did an episode i can't remember this is a lot of people standing around on set i figured that the audience summer audience yeah some you know they've got to be because, like, only a couple of them are holding things and doing stuff. But, like, you're getting nothing off of them.

Yeah. So, like, you've got to, like, kind of guide it a little bit. And your guy isn't even laughing that much. Yeah, not that much. And, like, when I do, they edit it out. Yeah. Okay. You're helping.

I'm helping. You don't like this shit. You're trying to be nice. I'm bored. It's totally polite. I'm freaking bored yeah i'm like huh well yeah it's kind of like you know somebody tells a shit joke and you're like it makes them feel better yeah you know hopefully yeah don't edit that out yeah it makes me feel better i'm i'm some something of a smiling monk. Do you know his tale? No. Well, what they sort of have learned is that psychologically,

just the action of forcing your face muscles into a smile can improve your mood. Oh, like the endorphins? And the smiling monk, yes, would just smile and smile in meditation until finally happiness achieved him. Yeah. But what led him to become a monk? Like the shit life, probably. Well, he's Adrian Monk. Oh.

I think what led him was his crippling obsessive compulsive disorder. And it's a weird question. What led him to become a manga is his name is his name his dad his father not to get graphic but his dad's sperm

yeah and so it's just graphic enough and you know thankfully for him he found a place where characters were welcome but we don't all

have that yeah that's true that sanctuary that's true now what did I do? I dropped my straw holder. So this is a little conspicuous consumption for Sean.

He will want you to sort of talk about his new straw a little bit. This is a collapsible metal straw that I use. Now, I got the cheap one. There's two of them. Oh, okay. Yeah. I know I got the cheap one. There's two of them.

Okay, yeah. And I'll come in and I will drink cold brew in the office that Chef Kevin pours for me usually today. Had to do it myself. No big deal. Yeah, so you guys have like the machine in there, yeah? Yeah. Oh, yeah. The kegerator.

Kegerator. And so obviously, you know, straws are destroying the turtles. Yeah. And ripping up the ocean. And what I've decided to do is actually make a difference and get this metal straw that kind of tastes like shit because there's a rubber lining inside of it. And you can fold it up and put it in this little box and put it on your keychain. Of course, it's far too big. You would never wear it on a keychain, so I carry it around.

It's in your pocket. Yeah, or it's in a drawer, and then I forget it, and then I go, like, I wish I had my strong. I don't use a classic one or whatever. Or I don't have. Here, they usually don't have one. And then my teeth hurt. So. I'm just kind of wandering back and forth along the wall. What's the best angle for me?

There's only two places that you do this for every episode. What fortune did you put in your phone case? Fortune? Yeah, there's a fortune cookie fortune in your phone case. Oh. We can see that shit. Oh, no, it's your driver's license. Oh.

Never mind. Kevin's driver's license. You should put fortune cookie fortunes in your phone case if you want to come true. Read Kevin's driver's license and then add in bed. 15. Read Kevin's driver's license and then add in bed. 15- Don't know the zip code. Don't know the zip code. You need the zip code to send letters.

Should we save the show? Yeah yeah should we bring it back i have not been seeing by the way a lot of hashtag saves i think everybody's a little embarrassed dead hashtag it's a dead hashtag because like in order for a hashtag to to carry people have to like care about it as well so that's the hard part they can't just post it you can't just post it people have to like care about it as well so that's the hard part they can't just post it you can't just post it you have to really care about it yeah exactly exactly and like into and to get somebody to post something they have to be like oh i'll take this step and i don't think people would do that for even the bots even the bots the bots are refusing to post hashtag save v the bots have a little bit of integrity. I've always respected that.

Yeah. Now, I do want to say, Veep, do you mind if I loudly eat my almond butter bar, my perfect bar, my nut perfect original refrigerated protein bar on mic while we do this? Yeah, I almost insist. Okay. It can't hurt

Go ahead Little sesame seeds on it I love these Finally a good tasting protein bar I wish they were a sponsor Chef Kevin So Get that going

Okay Go ahead. Here's the big mistake that you guys never did. And it was right in front of your face. Seinfeld reunion. Seinfeld reunion. I mean, I think the problem there is that just the entire Seinfeld crew doesn't like each other. Okay.

You know, I think that's a little hidden thing. Nobody talks about it. Because that was my pitch is bring back the whole crew. Yeah. Get the, I think that's a little hidden thing. Nobody talks about it. Because that was my pitch is bring back the whole crew. Yeah. Get the whole crew together. Get the whole crew together. Like, even the guys behind the camera, like the camera dudes. Dude, dude, dude.

If they don't like each other, dude, that's conflict, man. That's conflict. That's fucking storytelling. That's also, yeah. Maybe I'm old school. You know, maybe I'm an old man. I seem to remember that there was a little something called conflict in some of the stories

we used to tell and that made it interesting have them play have Michael Richards play a rival veep yeah like a veep of like Canada weird to do it in another have it be like another like a co like a veep

yes a different veep like let's say you have like a Co Like a Yes A different beep Yeah Like let's say you have Like a That's the way it should be There should be two different governments Like a full You should have like a

Whole democratic Like team Yes And then you have a republican team And they're going at the same time Right I still But here's the thing

It's the freaking same team Yeah I know And it's all the same There's no difference Between these guys and these girls. Yeah. They're all crazy. Yeah.

It's nuts. It's absolutely nuts. They're all crazy. Yeah. Yeah. No, that pissed me off. Look, the music's some shit. Yes, the music.

Let's get some fucking tunes in here. Yeah. Let's bounce, dude. Instead of everybody going like, excuse me, the file. Here we go. Come into my office. Me, me, me, me, me, me. Yeah.

Let's just have like, yeah. I'm waking up. Hey, hey. Hey. Hey. Like that with like a huge beat yeah just like a thumping beat that's a main thing that people are missing

you know what I mean yeah I get knocked down yeah yeah close yeah but I mean of course like done up you know modernize you gotta modernize a tub thumper I don't ever want to like done up you know modernize you gotta modernize a tub thumper I don't ever wanna let you down

you know like give me fucking yes I wanna bounce I want to bounce and I wanna rock and I don't wanna hear excuse me

can I have the file I think I left it in my drawer I mean that's the show do a whole episode about that why yeah I think because it's trying show. Do a whole episode about that? Why? Yeah. I think because

it's trying to relate to people because people are always looking for files and stuff. I never did that. Well, that's the thing. You and me, but the layman is always file-driven. But the Reap's not a layman. The Reap's not a layman. Well, I think that was their problem.

They were trying to appeal. You want to escape. You want to escape. You want to escape from your life that's all files, and you want to bounce. A little wish fulfillment of just like, imagine you show up at work and you just fucking bounce. Yeah, just like all fucking day. Man, you get me fucking excited even right now. Dude, that shit. We are bringing it back.

Michael's in, by the way. You make me a believer. Believer. Boo. Yeah. Boo. Yes. Goo.

Fuck yes. Yeah, you're right. You're fucking right. Other Veep stuff that we can do i think you scale back the swears that's too much there's too much swears it's a they're too weird cussing show it's just too many you guys are so proud of yourself while you're doing it fucking piss and all these things yes you grow magician uh all this. None of this anymore. What you could do is it's right next door, right under your nose.

Why doesn't Veep be friends with Barry? Yes. I mean, yeah. He's literally very lonely and wants friends. And like, I'm being honest, like he's an assassin. Barely. Assassins fucking litter the political landscape. So there's an in for him there.

Think about it. Yeah. Where would an assassin be useful? Yeah. Probably in freaking Veep. In Veep. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

That is so easy. And also right now. Can I also say. No, please. He's an assassin, but he's an actor. And what are politicians if not if not dude yes you know what i mean a show yes there he's a fucking actor dude yeah yeah and all the politicians are just acting like i can't find my file it's in the drawer

and it's like you have it you're just, you have it. You're just buying time. You're buying time. You're buying my time. Yeah. For free. Yeah. That's what it felt like. The show rent free was mostly you guys trying to pretend you didn't know where a file was

just to get to the end of the episode. Yes. And often you can see it in the frame. It's like, it's there, but you guys are just taking off. You're looking at the clock. Yeah. Yeah. Waiting for the episode to check under the couch again if i'm going no

if i can defend for a second sometimes the idea is that uh what you're looking for is right in front of your nose the whole time i think that's kind of like the tally has said that fable yeah he says yeah everything he needs he says that a lot but you know one second later it's gone and that's what life is so fleeting and all these possessions are temporary and he taught me that when we worked together

Jesus fucking Christ how long ago did we work together shit fucking crap my dad did oh Christ, how long ago did we work together? Oh, shit. Fucking God, my dad did. Oh, my God. How long ago was that? It's 2019. I am 51 years old. I dug. I got it.

Okay. So we've got that. Friends with Barry. Barry's there. You know who else they might want to hang out with? I've noticed in the Veep's office, there is a couch. Yeah. And there is no one crashing on it.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I mean, yeah. Yeah, dude. Yeah. And he'd come with the jokes. He'd come and he'll be just telling jokes in the middle of it. Oh, yeah. Bringing the heat. Sometimes. Yeah. And he'd come with the jokes. He'd come and he'll be just telling jokes in the middle of it. Oh yeah.

Bringing the heat. Sometimes. You don't have to. You don't have to, but yeah, exactly. Like, you don't want to feel pressure.

You want to feel real. Yeah. You know, like it's mostly about the problems. Yes. You don't want to be like that funny. No, that's not the story.

Please. Cause it's, cause it takes time to be funny. It's true. And work. But you can't spend that funny. No, that's not the story. Please. Because it takes time to be funny. It's true, and work. But you can't spend that time looking over a file. You've got to spend that time thinking about jokes. And sometimes, let's face it, having sex. You know what I mean? Let's face it.

That's life. You have to do it. You have to do it. You have to do it. You sometimes wind up pounding it out with some fucking nympho babe. Yeah. You know? Nympho hottie babe. And trying to protect Artie Lang from himself. That's life.

I never saw that on V. And the Veep doesn't do that. It's true. And that's what's missing. So, I mean, I think the easy way is to just combine them. Put that from that world into the Veep world. And then you. And that's what's missing. So, I mean, I think the easy way is to just combine them. Put that from that world into the Veep world. Yeah.

And then you can change the name, I guess. It doesn't have to be called Veep at that point. I think it's best because all the awards are to Veep. So I think you didn't have

to change the Emmys. The name's what works. Yes. The name's what works. The name is what works the most. That part I like. Veep, by the way, obviously all those Emmys

were a joke. And the apparatus to dump goo works the most that part i like the by the way all the obviously all those emmys where is it joke and the the apparatus to dump goo on you when you guys got up on stage yeah just has never worked but i you know what i i think it's for the teens and i think they do when the teens do watch the emmys yes they you know you do need to check in with them. You need to find something that will engage them. The teens are freaking out about the Emmys. I know. The teens are crazy. I think the teens are so crazy now.

I'm scared of the teens. Rightfully so. Yeah. You're talking about like just ugh. There's a real fear now. There's a real fear now that if you win an Emmy the teens will stan you

and you could really get hurt you get hurt yeah they're so ripped I don't know what they're in these

school lunches these days but whatever they did work GHB is it yeah it's GHB

GHB the date rape drug yeah yes wow everything makes a lot more sense now GHB? GHB. The date rape drug? Yeah. Yes. Wow. Everything makes a lot more sense now. Yeah.

Damn. Like, if you think about it, if you think about it for a minute, take a minute and think about it. Okay. I'll do that. Yeah. That's all. Just think about it. On air?

Yeah. Just give it a thought. Okay. GHB. The date rape drug would make you strong. Just think about it in your head. Okay. Kind of black out.

You would pass out and then you wake up stronger. A small amount of it is like liquid ecstasy, but a little bit more. And it's night-night. Night-night. Pretend that you see a threshold for pain. Threshold for pain. Feet up and you just don't even wake up. And that is not nice. I have an interesting idea for a new kind of show.

Yeah. Where it's normal guys, but it turns out that they are dead ghosts. Oh, fuck. And it is a after. Sam, sit. And it is an after version. Sam, sit back down. Okay. All right. Let him get the idea out.

It is happening in a kind of heaven, but it's not like an old white guy who sits on a cloud. It is. It's black heaven. Yes. Oh, fuck. It's about time black heaven was represented on TV. Black heaven. It's black heaven. about time black heaven was represented on TV black heaven it's black heaven it's black heaven

which white people were so scared of black heaven and it's about time yeah yes it's white people

having to walk through black heaven to like get home and they're like so uncomfortable like go on sorry yeah they're like

being overly friendly and we're like I mean I'm not but no, but in the show, you know. Well, yeah, exactly. It's just so cool about TV is anybody could be dead. It could be a thought experiment. Yeah. Like what if we were all dead and it was just basically exactly like being alive and it was like, who cares? Yeah, exactly.

You just repeat it. Yeah. It's like the same shit. Book clouds. There are clouds there. You have to have some clouds. You have to let the audience know it is hell. Oh, fuck.

It's aimed at vape artists. I think it should be aimed at vape tricksters. Because who is a bigger cloud enthusiast really than the vape artists. I think it should be aimed at vape tricksters. And so, because that, who is a bigger cloud enthusiast, really, than the vape community? Is this a new... I'm like Weatherman. Is this a new name for the show? Have you considered changing to Black Heaven? To vape.

To vape. If veeps call vape... All caps. I mean, you'll get an audience, that's for sure. Oh, please, yeah. V-A-E-P, so you only have to change one letter. You switch one please, yeah. V-A-E-P, so you only have to change one letter. You switch one letter. Oh, V-A-E-P. V-A-E-P.

That's vape. That's vape. Oh, yeah, it's got to be. Is Bill Maher friends with the veep? Because he next door. He next door, but I think he always comes in with a take, and we're all like, shut up. Too many rules.

You guys don't want. He called me the N-word, and I was like, enough, shut up too many rules you guys don't call me the n-word and i was like enough bud too many made him live he doesn't believe in black heaven he doesn't he's like it's just regular heaven i'm like okay wow man that's getting really religious, what is it about Veep that makes me so pissed off

that we can fix? It's taking place in black heaven now. Yep. Jason Alexander is there. Jason Alexander is there. Kevin Richards.

Is that a friend of yours? Yeah. Kevin Richards. John Simon. Kevin Richards there. that's cool wayne knight and maybe maybe he's married to the dinosaur that killed him in jurassic park oh yeah that would be nice that would be nice just because it's heaven we never see how that story ended we don't it's a lot of like they pan off screen i assume because they are starting to fuck yeah yeah because i mean that's that's what that scream is right because like you assume they

want you to assume yes but what where does that relationship right go and so they get married yeah yeah that's cool i think you can make it work because you just like you kind of use one of the jim henson dinosaurs from the show Dinosaur that way you can like get it to do the jokes and stuff yeah hell yeah because like you're relying on CGI

the whole time then you're asking him to like do the scene with like a stand-in and like it's not going to play the same as if like you have the Muppet

like a real if you got a real real deal fucking Muppet flesh and blood Muppet flesh and blood Muppet. Like a real. If you got a real, real deal fucking Muppet, flesh and blood Muppet. Flesh and blood Muppet, a real live one. Yeah. You know? And that's what made Happy Land Murders work.

Because to me, the idea of a CGI computer thing jerking off on the window or whatever. Mm-hmm. No, thanks. Yeah. But you put a Muppet out there? One please. Yeah, that's me at the ticket counter. Asking for one please.

And they try, you know, when they try to do instead of By the way, when I leave, I go one pleased. To the ticket guy he's like oh my god this means so much to me no one ever comes he likes my movies

no one ever talks to me about my beautiful movies I worked so hard. I was just saying, when they tried to do Happy Land Murders as CGI, and they did need a human stand-in to blast a big enough load along the window, there's no human that can do as big a load as the puppet from the movie. Please, no way. Well, I don't know who can say no human.

Is this okay? Are you trying to get more work for Kevin Richards? I am. Well, I mean, he doesn't come to it. Yeah, we all got that one friend. You all know you got a Kevin Richards in your life. You got a Kevin Richards who's just full of loads. And you got to get him out there in the world.

You're one buddy. You're like, alright. Blast him, Kev. Blast him, Kev. Hit him with the good stuff. For me, it's also somebody named Kevin. Chef Kevin, you want to weigh in? That's why you think we call him Chef

Because he's cooking him up Zach Levi didn't host any wolf show Fresh batch Yes he did It was a wolf pop show He did four episodes of Blacklist Table Reads With Engineer Cody No he had a wolf pop show

You're wrong Go into the wolf pop archives What you're saying is wrong And you did it on mic You were wrong on mic. That's humiliating. And you better not try to edit this out.

Engineer Devin. Devin, and check the levels. Is that coming in wrong on your levels? No, this is all good. This is all hitting where it's supposed to. Wait, so you think that was right? Oh, what he said? Yeah. No, but it's recorded at an excellent volume. Okay, good. Wait, so you think that was right? Oh, what he said? Yeah. No, but it's recorded at an excellent volume.

Okay, good. Okay, yes, but it is recorded as wrong and your engineer machine is saying... Is there a red or a green light when he said that on the thing? Yeah, no, it did go red. Picking favorites. Engineer Devin is divisive.

I saw that just now yeah some people stan engineer devin some can't stan him I hit myself in the head I was so excited about that

picking favorites thank you yes the show was called picking favorites picking favorites right yes

quick google will find anything really it was a call in show man I wonder when that thing Labine was excited about is gonna come out maybe somebody did jinx it

oh no he jinxed it by imagining it maybe you just did it oh no Sam cause this was what five years ago one of the best earwolf lobby conversations I've ever walked by. Easily top ten. What time is it?

What time is it on the show? We have someone else coming in. Yeah. Who? You've done about 42 minutes. Damn, that's pretty good. Felt like it. Yeah.

Felt about 42, huh? what else is coming up sam you're doing all these shows well and then and we didn't even say what you did work with adam palion oh yeah champagne champagne ill uh and you might want to spell it yeah it's a little funny it's yeah it's champagne ill illinois is a place. This one's called Champagne as in like the drink, ill, I-L-L as in being sick. But it is spelled, the Champagne is spelled like the place. Yes, which I think that just happened. That was an accident. I think that was an accident that he just rolled with.

But the idea, yeah. Yeah. You say that just happened a lot in the show. I do, and I put my finger up. I'm like, well, that just happened. Is this a thing? Yep. That, oh, I love when people do that.

Because that's me and my friends. Yeah, exactly. I'm always like. Something, by the way, missing from Veep. I know. I keep on trying to improvise, quote unquote, the word awkward in there. Yeah. And they don't use it.

And I'm like, you guys, you would add literally 100,000 people per awkward. Yes. Yes. Here, try this one for size. Say anything. Anything. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. I don't really have any well hang uh awkward see it fits it fits when i didn't have anything to say i tried it on for size and it was a perfect fit uh that's a thing okay Okay. Check, please. You see what I'm saying? It's good.

It's freaking good. That's what comedy is. Yeah, finally. It makes me so fucking mad. I'm so sorry. You might get the audience to crack a smile for once if you did stuff like that. Just give them something that's familiar. Exactly. Why are we watching this stuff? It's comfort food, baby. a smile for once if you did stuff like that. Just give them something that's familiar. You know what I mean? Why are we watching this stuff?

It's comfort food, baby. It's mac and cheese, mama. Stop trying to prepare some Vichyssoise. Quail Vichyssoise. Vichyssoise. Nobody wants that crap. We don't even know what it is.

Yeah, man. Give me some macaroni and fucking cheddar. Give me fucking comedy Cheetos. Yes, bitch. Fuck! I'm so mad. I'm pissed as well. I'm fucking pissed. I didn't expect to get this pissed today. Yeah, I'll sit down. I'm sorry.

That's okay. That's okay. Okay, we're leaving. So to sit down now that we're leaving. Because we do have someone else coming in yeah just be ready to get up pretty fast because Pally is going to kind of need a surface

when he gets here yeah bye yeah catch ya Heroes