Hollywood Handbook - Shaun Diston and Brett Morris, Our New Album Friends
Episode Date: July 1, 2025The Boys welcome back SHAUN DISTON and BRETT MORRIS to get a head start on this year’s new album. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https...://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a head gum podcast.
I'd like to just go ahead.
Sorry.
Start over.
I'd like to just open this up.
As far as I'm concerned, the sky is I'm just going to keep going.
The sky is... I'm just gonna keep going. The sky is...
My dog's been making this noise lately. My dog's been doing this one.
I think he's got allergies. I mean, I just feel we've been doing these albums
with Brett and Sean.
We didn't do one last year. We didn't do a Christmas album.
No, none of those.
I showed up.
Didn't see it coming.
I showed up, Brett showed up.
Yep.
We laid down a couple things, but mostly just like caught up,
which was nice.
I had sort of lost her.
I didn't know that Brett, did you know that Brett is married to?
The game?
It's true.
No, he's married to Sable.
Did you know that Brett had married Sable?
The WWE champion Sable?
Wow. You know what? It's funny where like- He didn't even know that she had married Sable? The WWE champion, Sable? Yeah, wow.
You know what?
It's funny where like- And he didn't even know
that she was like a pro wrestler.
I didn't know it.
Yeah.
But as soon as you say it, it makes so much sense.
Like it just immediately clicks for me in this way
where I go like, I guess I kind of did know it.
Like I didn't have it confirmed,
but like if you would just frame that as like,
do you think Brett is married to Sable?
I would go, I think he is.
You might've said, yeah.
He does know her by one name, which is weird.
He was like, my wife Sable.
I was like, Sable what?
Like her name is Sable.
And he goes, that's funny.
Cause I've been calling her Sablé.
Sablé?
Because I engage with wrestling.
I engage with wrestling,
and I currently still engage with it,
only through magazines.
Yeah, message boards, magazines, text-based.
Yeah, it's physical media, it's magazines.
And was there like a little eyelash or something over the e
in sable
Eyelash, you know an accent
Because I don't think it was printed with an accent over the e it's so erotic
All these things Oh
Little eyelash. Oh, it's winking at me, right It's just, all these things, oh.
Little eyelash, oh it's winking at me. Right?
Guy's trying to get a fucking butterfly BJ, right?
That's what he calls it.
Butterfly BJ.
I've heard him talk about this.
Yes.
The BBJ.
That he has chicks blink really fast.
On the edge of what he refers to as his unit.
And like, more power to you.
That's the butterfly effect, man.
That's the butterfly effect?
That's what you think the butterfly effect is?
Yeah.
Blasting rose.
Starring Ashton Kutcher.
Okay, so you do know about the movie.
So you know it's a movie.
But you also are naming a sex act after it.
Well, at any rate, yeah, we didn't do it last year
and I honestly, what I've been feeling mostly on these,
we've tried to do a Christmas album twice.
They haven't gotten a lot of replay
and what I'm thinking is I've been feeling
every time we do it, rushed.
Really, really rushed.
There's a ticking clock going in my head the whole time.
It feels like it basically,
by the time we're recording it, it is Christmas.
I do think the last time we did it.
Was it after?
I think Hayes came both late and had to leave early.
So there was definitely a rush.
So there was that rush.
I was the only one there last time,
so it were, except.
I guess we're even.
Except Brett was there too.
So I guess Brett's in first place
in terms of being here competition that you've laid out.
I did feel like last time I was short on riffs and licks.
Like I don't know what was going on.
I was kinda dry.
So the last time I was with you,
I was feeling like, what the fuck is this guy doing here?
You know what I mean?
Like it was.
The type of licks I want.
Every time I looked at you,
you were asking me like, what's a lick?
And I was going like, brother,
that's not my end of it.
I want the dog, like I just came home from being stationed abroad. That's the l end of it. I want the dog, like I just came home
from being stationed abroad.
That's the licks I want.
You know what I mean?
Right.
Golden retriever.
I just threw open the door,
husband's behind me with the holding of a video.
Like that.
That's the type of licks I want.
I wanna feel like Mick Jagger's lollipop.
Yeah.
Can I say this?
I really like that either.
You went, not like that at all.
So you went to Feeling Rushed
just in terms of the actual recording time with Hayes.
Right, yeah.
I meant Feeling Rushed more according to like the calendar
and where we fell on that,
which reminds me of something I've been meaning
to ask you, Hayes. according to like the calendar where we fell on that, which reminds me of something I've been meaning
to ask you, Hayes.
Do you wanna know why Chef Kevin
is so jealous of the calendar?
I've actually been meaning to ask you this
because I don't know the answer.
Yeah, please tell me why.
Well, it has no problem getting dates.
So that's what it is.
That's exactly what I'm looking for.
You're right, back.
That's exactly right.
Kind of a siren.
Can I say, I felt like after last year, didn't get the call in December.
I thought to myself, that's a nail, we're done with this.
It's over.
It's been an unsealed coffin prior to that point.
You know what I mean?
A coffin that it's like, okay, this isn't great.
And I gotta say.
Yeah.
But I can push this thing off at least.
I kind of felt, or you could like kill Bill,
punch your way through dirt, crawl out dirt.
I'll just push it up. But why would I punch through when it's not nailed down?
I'll just I don't know then you can fling it open
You can really fun, but I think even when I would just punch it it would end up pushing it
Before you get all though. You're those lids are probably pretty heavy, but what I was thinking was it's over and maybe
Like that's good. Like we we did I gotta say, we came out of the gate.
Well, if Brett said that made me feel like he has been
sealed in a coffin at the foot.
Well, but also he's like.
Didn't that sound like it came from a.
But he went, those lids are probably pretty heavy,
but then it's like.
Gets you thinking.
No, it doesn't, because what I'm thinking is,
so they're heavy enough that you think a punch
wouldn't necessarily immediately lift it open,
but you do think the punch would go through it.
You know what I mean?
Like, there's a specific way it has to be.
Like, what's your pitch, I guess?
What's your pitch?
What's your idea of how it would open?
Are you agree?
It's immaterial because what Sean is telling me
is that he's been lying in an unsealed coffin
and he hasn't even tried to push.
Like, he didn't even try the hit.
I guess it's probably nailed shut
and just shrugged and waited to die.
Well it's crazy to not assume it's not nailed shut.
What the fuck am I doing in there if it's not nailed shut?
You do the sort of, speaking of Kill Bill,
like the five finger death punch, the one inch punch.
You just keep working on that.
I think with the surface area of your fist, it's gonna punch through.
That was what everyone was talking about
when we talked about punching through it.
Right.
Like we were talking about punching through it,
and back in Kill Bill.
It has to be close.
There's no other way to do it.
You can't do a big long punch.
No.
You're inside a coffin.
So it has to be, it has to be really short.
Well, it's all real.
Why don't you just do a really short, tiny punch without a lot of wind up.
It's like, well that's-
Speaking of Kill Bill, what if you picture the scene
where she punches her way out of the coffin
and it's like, that's the only thing that's been discussed
for several minutes now.
I would think of the one where you walk away
and then the person's heart stops.
Oh, I see the five finger punch.
Right, so that's what I said.
Okay, well that's different.
So like the,
so what you're like walking away,
so you're just lying there waiting
for your head to wave at you.
You turn your head away.
Yeah, well that's all you can do.
Okay.
To make the coffin's heart stop.
I mean, this is what we keep getting bogged down in.
One just felt bad for Brett and just let him out is what happened. This is not what we keep getting bogged down in. Moans felt bad for Brett and just let him out,
is what happened.
This is not what we keep getting bogged down in.
This is not what we keep getting bogged down in.
This is not what we keep getting bogged down in, yes.
What does it mean to you guys?
Because I've been thinking about how we've technically written
hundreds of songs by now.
Yeah.
And not one of these albums has really taken off.
They don't seem to be connecting with the public.
That was our introduction to this, yes.
That was the first thing I said, yeah.
But to me, it's like, you mentioned feeling rushed.
I feel the same, especially because we have another
Christmas-based
property. repeat segment
that we've been doing,
that we also talk about how rushed it is.
That is maybe even more rushed than this.
This movie Love and Santa, so it's like,
we're competing against each other with two Santa bases.
But this is making me think we should have had Clea here
and just done the soundtrack for Love and Santa
and get like two birds, one stone,
or maybe make that like a rock opera of sorts,
but I don't think we can do that.
I'm sure we'll need to do that in like two weeks.
Okay, so we'll do that in two weeks,
but today what I think we should do is
just without the fucking clock pressure,
recording without a loaded gun on our heads,
just get pieces, segments, ideas for songs,
and we don't need to be limited by just like Christmas.
Mm-hmm, yes. ideas for songs, and we don't need to be limited by just like Christmas.
Yes.
Or even winter,
or even songs.
Yeah, that's what I was gonna say.
I feel like we've been a little bit trapped
by the whole song part of it.
And Brett holding his guitar there
is actually very like threatening to me almost.
This is therapy for me, the guitar.
I don't have to play it,
it just makes me feel more comfortable.
And I thought it would make you guys feel more comfortable.
Okay, Hayes just said it's making him uncomfortable.
I do think of therapy as something you do one on one
with like a licensed practitioner of sorts,
rather than something I do around my friends
when they're trying to do a podcast.
Recording it, one of them is wearing sunglasses.
It's not really a therapy vibe, I gotta say.
All right, so what should I do with this then, do you think?
Well, I mean, let's, yeah.
I think we could pitch on that as well.
Yeah, let's think about that.
I have one idea, but I don't wanna say it.
I have an idea as well.
And I wonder if it's like an idea that's kind of,
one of those ideas that's kind of just like in the ether,
you know what I mean?
It's just like. Totally.
Sometimes the idea's just like parallel thinking.
Yeah, exactly.
But then that makes me worry that like some other band
is getting ready to go in that exact same direction
and that there's not a lot of room in there.
You know what I mean?
No, once one band does it,
that's kinda gonna be their thing that they're known for.
Be pretty epic though to be that first one through the wall.
Yeah.
Even if we did do some, like.
Even if we did.
Even if we did.
So many bands do like non-Christmas songs
and then they do Christmas songs.
That's what I've seen.
I like that we're going against traffic.
We're going backwards, right, right, right.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And we're watching them all like,
like stop and go on the highway.
We're seeing like a boule.
Think about Buble.
I mean, think about Buble.
And we all knew him.
You know, he hadn't, he just hadn't met us yet.
And we sort of, you know, thought we understood him.
Oh, he's a Christmas guy.
And then we went, oh, this voice
that we're already familiar with,
that we're already accustomed to,
then became a Christmas guy.
I think we said, okay, let's zag, let's go Christmas first,
and then we'll back into doing some love songs,
some-
Protest songs.
Some protests, yeah, ballads.
And we have not gotten over that wall.
So maybe the answer's somewhere in the middle.
Maybe a song that like transitions,
like announces our new direction.
What about a Christmas protest song?
Within a Christmas song and it like goes the other way.
I was thinking like knocking on Santa's door.
Wow.
So that was the lick you have prepared.
Wow.
You were working on that one.
Knocking on Santa's door.
We talked a lot about not doing Christmas songs.
This is interesting because Santa normally comes
to your house.
Yeah.
And now we're going to his house.
And protests, I mean, it's a kind of protest, I guess,
but like sort of an aggressive one to be like,
here I am at your house.
I feel like we are in the position of like ice agents
at that point knocking on Santa's door saying,
hey, I need you to come out, show me your Christmas ID.
Yeah.
But that's, this is breathtaking.
I actually would prefer to kind of not stake out that territory one way or another
for the purposes of this album, you know what I mean?
That is what will stay away from it.
Yeah.
Did you bring, was that the only thing?
Like mama take these toys from me.
Well, Santa has a big bag. Did you bring, was that the only thing? Like mama take these toys from me.
Well, Santa has a big bag.
Doesn't Santa famously carry a big bag?
Yeah, yeah.
So why are we changing bag to toys?
Well, then we might get sued.
It's true.
Yeah, we have got sued a lot for the other.
Is it a gun? This gun for me? Not bag. Is it? Oh, badge badge.
Yeah, take this badge.
Kevin, but that's what I was going to do back holding a big
bag. Like what if we accidentally like record the
song as it was previously written,
because we don't know the correct lyrics.
That's interesting.
We're kind of all around it.
Because we started doing sort of parody songs.
Now we can sort of move into doing the songs.
What if we just straight up recorded,
knocking on Heaven's door,
and we just said, but we thought,
but we briefly had transposed badge to bag in trying to think of what Santa
would be saying and then when he said toys,
we went, it's already bag.
What if we did that?
What if, so we don't get sued for those,
what if we do like the closest cover we can
without doing the actual lyrics?
So it would be something like,
knock, knock, knocking on Evan's dorm.
Pfft.
Wow.
I think that's good.
Yeah.
Then people could actually listen to it
and be like, this sounds the same,
but then when they tried to get mad at us,
we'd be like, no, it's not.
This is about Evan's dorm.
It could be lock, lock, lock in Evan's dorm.
I think that's maybe one step too far.
I think we might as well be knocking on Evans dorm
And what are we wait wait I am curious where it goes from there like you didn't like knocking
It was a thought we're changing the words around I know but just like what are we doing?
We're locking I guess from the inside those doors don't walk from the outside
mmm, Actually they do.
They do.
I think all doors do.
So were you picturing locking it from the outside?
Are you Evan in this song?
No, I guess I'm the-
The RA.
Yeah, the RA I think would be,
probably would have the badge, right?
Oh, that's good, right.
You know, the badge, like.
Says RA.
Yeah, the badge says are a
That's pretty interesting
Mama take this badge from me.
I'm an RA in the dorm.
There's all kinds of halls and rooms to see.
Right now I'm knocking on every door knock knock knocking on Evans door
knock knock knocking on Evans door
we get one lock in? Yeah, yeah, yeah, now
Lock, lock, lockin' on Evan's door
And now we go back
We just go back to the normal one
Knock, knock, knockin' on Evan's door
Excuse me, I can't, I can't open
I can't get out of here
Um, what the fuck is going on?
Man, I am, uh Sorry, it's lights out. You know the rules.
I go down the halls every night, I lock every kid in their rooms.
Until it's time for breakfast,
and then I escort you all to breakfast safely.
I don't like this at all. Was this Brett's idea?
Was this fucking Brett's idea? Excuse me, Dean Morris?
As you will refer to him?
Just as is the interest of every student at heart.
And if you don't like the rules, you need to get your own badge.
Well I need to leave so I guess I'll just be...
Knock, knock, knockin' on Evan's door.
From the inside knock knock knocking on Evan's door
but he's Evan and he's inside trying to unlock Evan's door because he's locked in by the RA
knock knock knocking on Evan's door so the RA locked him in. First they said, take this badge from me. I don't know why.
Then they said, I'm an RA in the dorm. Then they rhymed dorm with dorm.
Should he get the skeleton key or something?
I'm gonna put my buns in my contraband toaster oven. I can't use it anymore.
That meat-ore is coming down on me.
Feels like I'm locked up in Evan's dorm.
Knock, knock, knockin' on Evan's dorm.
They're both Evan.
Knock, knock, knockin' on Evan's dorm.
But now we know why he got locked in.
Knock, knock, knockin' on Evan's door.
The two Evans had a toaster oven that was illegal.
Knock, knock, lockin' on Evan's door.
That they used to heat up buns.
Wow.
I liked that.
That was really good.
There was no reason that couldn't work for Christmas.
Oh yeah.
So the buns, it could be like hot cross buns.
Well, Evan's trying to get home for holiday break.
Exactly.
He's locked in. He's locked in. And the RA's like, okay, locking buns it could be like well, I'm trying to get home for holiday break exactly
Yeah, and the RA is like, okay locking up for Christmas time holdovers
Hold over there. Hold over hold over. Oh my god. Hold over that's really good Christmas holdovers
That's good You do a G amati? No. Oh
So we just this is often John's gotta do it G amati and No. Oh. So we just had James Austin Johnson.
You gotta do a Giamatti.
And I've been saying, whenever a guest comes in here,
we should get to be like laying down,
like sketches for our album.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
A little in between sketch.
Which we have done before.
Yes, we love doing the in between sketches.
The sketches have really paid dividends.
Hello.
Hollywood Hamburg. With new McValue and McDonald's, you get more than you expect. Doing the in-between sketches. The sketches have really paid dividends. Whoa. Hollywood handbook.
With new McValue and McDonald's,
you get more than you expect.
So after a long day, buy a double cheeseburger
and add a McChicken for a dollar
because saving with deals is always on the menu
with new McValue.
Prices and participation may vary.
Valued for item of equal or lesser value.
Whoa. Hollywood handbook.
Brett, was there another riff you had prepared
that we could talk through?
Uh, let's see, we could do, uh, we could do a
little this.
Hot blood.
Oh yeah.
Well, and we're, and they are loving.
I'm loving this.
Check it and see.
He's got a license born in 83.
No, I don't think so.
The hot doesn't hurt.
McLovin', yeah.
And 83, I don't think is the right year
for when that movie.
Maybe 73.
It's interesting,
because Christmas is like famously cold.
Uh-huh.
So. Oh.
I guess this sort of hot blooded Christmas.
Cold Christmas?
Cold Christmas is fun.
Yeah.
It's cold Christmas, check it and see.
Now I do, what does it say, we're going,
we're getting. We're getting back to Christmas.
We're not backing into Christmas
if we're calling it cold Christmas.
Right. That's true.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess I see what you mean.
I guess that's sort of true.
Like warm Christmas?
Is that what you're thinking?
No.
No, cause I think you're still saying Christmas.
It was the Christmas that I was taking issue with.
Right, okay.
Well, it shouldn't be cop loving.
No, again. You said pick loving,
but it can't be cop loving.
We keep accidentally getting into this territory.
It's kind of touchy.
Cause we just did this one with a badge
and we actually managed to avoid that.
Yes, yes.
Hot but cold.
Hot muffins.
Cold stuffing.
Oh, yeah.
What if it's, I'm just gonna say this one line
I don't think we should do.
I'm cop loving ACAB.
It's dance for all cops are beautiful to me.
I mean, that's pretty, I mean, I don't hate it.
If they can just stay with it to the second line, I think that'll clarify.
I think the first one will be very,
the first one really no one will like.
If they turn it off by then, they're never fans of ours.
Yes, yeah, that's right.
They don't deserve us.
They weren't even interested
because they weren't even checking out the sound.
You know what I mean?
They don't trust our second line.
No, they're looking for a reason to turn it off.
I mean, there is no reason for it to say cop loving.
If we wanted to do, yeah,
I don't think we need to make it Cop Lovin'.
I really don't.
It just fits so well.
Yeah.
I'm having trouble thinking of anything else.
It's in there now.
It's in there.
Sometimes it's just like,
and sometimes ideas like that stick for a reason.
Yeah.
What about
yacht?
Yeah, that's definitely.
Oh, yacht.
Yacht stuffing.
Stuff.
So, hot stuffing.
We could do Thanksgiving.
We could.
Yacht stuffing.
I'm out on the sea.
Yeah. Cop loving.
No, Brett, that's what we were doing before.
That was from a second ago.
Yeah.
But it's interesting though,
because if you do start on the yacht part
and then you say cop loving,
they've already gotten a couple lines in.
So they might trust us to hit the AC.
Well, we have that.
We have cop loving.
We always have that.
We just laid down cop loving basically. That's true. Yeah, we have that. Mm, mm. Well, we have that. We have Coploff. We always have that. We just laid down Coploff, basically.
That's true.
That's true.
Yeah, we have that.
Mm, mm.
Well, we could try Yacht Stuffin.
Mm.
It's a Christmas party on a yacht.
I think it's fun.
I mean, I think we stay away from Christmas.
I think we make it Thanksgiving.
Yeah, and then we can now, like, lead into.
Transition into Christmas.
Mm-hmm. Yacht Stuff stuffing! Check it and see! I'm eating bread on the open sea!
Come on baby!
Do you know how to swim?
I'm yacht stuffing! I'm yacht stuffing! So that was yacht stuffin'. I feel like that was as good as it's gonna get.
I think probably so.
Felt really good.
I think it was the riff. I think it was like the inspiration was not there. I don't even
know if that was the actual song.
The riff was just bad from the start.
I think it was a bad choice.
Is that why you said bread?
The riff wasn't feeling really good.
Well, bread is stuffing.
Stuffing is made of bread mostly.
You think that, wait, sorry.
You think that when people are having turkey and stuffing,
you think that that means turkey and turkey?
Well, you can do a turkey stuffed turkey,
but you can do a turducken.
Yeah.
No more bread than that.
Yeah, you could do a lot of things.
I mean, you could, you know,
you could shove that guitar up your ass.
I think there's more than just bread.
Yeah, I mean, it's like that's.
As long as we're talking about turduckeds.
Yeah.
The stuff that back of the matter is. That we could put you into our stuff. There's a lot of things you could do. Yeah, I mean, it's like that's. As long as we're talking about turduck heads. Yeah.
The stuff that we can put you into.
Back of the matter is, there's a lot of things you could do.
Spatchcock that.
We're trying to work from sort of a somewhat universal language of what people normally
do do.
I wonder, well, is there a riff that you had already that you wanted to talk about?
Because we got Yacht Stuff and that's locked and loaded. Kevin, we got no timer going, is there a riff that you had already that you wanted to talk about? Cause we got Yacht Stuff and that's locked and loaded.
And Kevin, we got no timer going.
Is that right?
About, um.
It stopped again?
We could do like 50 ways to, to, uh, leave your Santa.
50 so many.
50.
50 ways to hug your brother.
Yeah.
Just hop on the sleigh, Jay.
15 seems like maybe. 15 ways rhymes sleigh, Jay. 15 seems like maybe doable.
15 ways rhymes.
Yeah, it does.
15 ways to eat your supper.
Yeah, okay, 15 ways to eat your supper.
These are all kind of like, since we got to the contraband
toast-reven thing, we did yacht stuff and they're all sort of
like food and bread related.
Just pick up the fork, bjork. Pick up the fjork. and they're all sort of like food and bread related.
Just pick up the fork, Bjork.
Pick up the fjork, the fjork.
No, it does have to be fjork.
If the name is Bjork, it has to rhyme.
Pick up the fjork, Bjork.
Yes, get a new pan, Snape.
Grab a big spoon, June.
Yeah.
Give it to me.
I know that this is wrong.
I know what I'm about to-
Are you gonna finish your crust, gust?
I know what I'm gonna say is wrong.
That's not a way to eat your supper.
Is the feeling that we are feeling right now that-
Just use your damn hands, hands.
It's Hans, but it's-
Are we feeling the IP fatigue of Christmas album,
we've been trying to do it.
We're chasing something.
I mean, should we be doing it at all?
I guess is the question I'm asking.
I felt like we were just actually landing on something.
That was actually...
With that much of a time.
Normally I would agree with you, but like...
I said I knew I was wrong.
We don't need to use all of them.
You just came up with five out of 15, you know?
Like really, really fast.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, I don't think the one through 15.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Is that how it goes?
The chorus.
Well, we got the lyrics up here.
Yeah, you know what's interesting?
Just pick up the twigs.
I'm black, so a lot of these songs,
I don't know a lot of these songs.
Growing up as a young black man.
Okay.
I don't know 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon.
Okay. All right.
So. I just wanted to throw that out there.
So he was stealing a lot of his music from black people.
No, that I know the song.
Graceland is like all,
that's like all black musicians.
I know the influence.
Yeah.
But I just wanted to put that out.
Oh yeah.
Is this satisfying a note?
This is a black song.
This is, all right, Brett says, all right, let's really,
let's really get black with it.
Yeah.
You want black?
Yeah, ask and answer.
Let's black it up.
Yeah, I guess you can be my Santa Claus.
I can be a Rudolph.
But that's Christmas again.
That feels Christmas.
That felt really Christmas to me.
I was noticing that too.
That was really Christmas to me.
I was noticing some Christmas elements in there.
Walk me through that, just because you can be Santa Claus.
I could have said you can't be Santa Claus.
You can't be my Santa Claus.
That's really not Christmas.
You can't be my Santa Claus. That's really not Christmas. You can't be my Santa Claus.
That's the Christmas protest song
that we were talking about earlier.
I think that's pretty good.
You can't be my Santa Claus.
I can't be your long lost elf.
That's really good.
That's good.
What happened?
I can call you Freddie.
I can call you. Well, that's like Fred Claus, yeah. Fred Claus. I can call you Freddie. I can call you.
Well, that's like Fred Claus.
Yeah.
I call you Freddie.
Yeah.
Why is that can't again?
Why can't?
Why is one can?
Well, because we're not doing,
well, yeah, Fred Claus was doing Christmas for sure.
I can't call you Freddie.
I can't call you Freddie.
That's too distorted.
And not Freddie when you don't call me.
Maybe do a really slow version of this
so it's just easier.
You know what I mean?
The faster you go, the harder it is to really do that.
I felt like that was even a little sped up
from the normal.
Like a creepy, creepy.
Like movie trailer version.
Yeah. Yeah.
Exactly.
That's what we should be doing.
Let's do some of those.
A creepy movie trailer Christmas protest.
You can call me Al, you can't call me Santa.
You can't call me Santa.
You can call me Santa Claus.
I can't be your El.
I won't call you Freddy. Hell
I won't call you Freddy and Freddy please don't call me you can burn in hell
You can burn in hell
This is good.
The devil walks down the street. It's the street outside your house.
Your house is the third house.
This isn't his first time around.
He doesn't speak the language. He speaks Latin.
Because he's the devil from the vibe bible.
He's surrounded by the sound.
The sound.
Yeah. And then cattle in the marketplace scatter lands and orphanages.
I mean that feels like he's...
That we can keep.
Keeping that.
He looks around and around.
He sees angels in the architecture, he gets scared.
Yeah.
Devils.
He says, I used to be like one of them.
He says, amen and hallelujah, but backwards.
Yeah.
That's pretty good. That's scary.
Yeah, that was really good.
That didn't sound too white.
I mean, I'm still gonna say.
I'm still gonna say.
It's so crazy that like,
Sean said he wanted a song
that was more like connected to his upbringing
and Brett did a song about the devil.
Which I don't wanna call you out on that, Brett.
The devil from the Bible.
That kind of freaked me out.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah.
That's what you kind of think.
That seemed like.
He did it really slow down and scary,
and it was about the devil.
Yeah.
But it's okay, I mean, I see where Brett's coming from.
You know, he's lived a limited experience.
In my world, the devil's the good guy.
Yeah, yeah, bread is, yeah.
Drinks a lot of liquid death and stuff.
Yes, that's right, bread.
Exactly, yeah.
He's been drinking way too much liquid death.
Whoa.
Hollywood handbook.
Whoa.
Hollywood handbook.
What if we did the song, do you know this one?
What if we did one headlight,
but it was just called one Bud Light?
Yeah, that's really good.
Yeah, let's pull that one.
Do you know one headlight?
Do you know that one?
Don't open a new tab with the tab on it,
because I definitely have it memorized.
If you did that, it would be very unnecessary.
You could.
Yeah, you put the tab up there.
He's not gonna need that.
Well, he just said, don't do that.
No more than I need the tab pulled up on a one bud light.
You know, that could be part of the song.
That's actually good.
That could actually work.
Yeah. That's it. Oh, I don't remember when That's when someone drank the other five cans
They must have gone into my private freeze, opened up and drank them all of these. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha The long... Big old empty plastic strings.
I gotta cut them up to save all the ducks.
I recycle and I take care of the world.
Maybe something about beechwood aging?
And beechwood aging as well.
Hey, hey, hey, come on drink a little.
Come on drink a little.
Nothing is forever.
Nothing tastes better than this Anheuser-Busch product.
I really like it.
But there's just one left.
Guess I'll drink it all.
My one bud light.
Or I can still drive home?
Oh yeah.
I can still drive home with one bud light.
That's a good ad campaign, right?
Yeah. One Bud Light. That's a good ad campaign. That's really good. Right?
Yeah.
The cops not gonna like,
what they gonna like throw you in jail
where you had one Bud Light.
Well if you only had one Bud Light
so you still can drive.
Well then if they pull you over
then you play Cop Lovin'.
It's kind of with the wind that blows over.
Uh huh, yes.
Just the first. Just at the end of the commercial.
Just no, you just turn it down
for the second half of the first line.
Come lovin'.
Yeah.
Come lovin'.
AC.
AC DC they said I guess.
Thunderstruck.
Interesting. Okay, thunderstruck was called. I was called. I was called.
I was called.
I was called.
I was called.
I was called.
I was called.
I was called.
I was called.
I was called.
I was called.
I was called.
I was called.
I was called.
I was called.
I was called.
I was called.
I was called.
I was called.
I was called.
I was called.
I was called. I was called. I was called. I was called. I was called. Bandersnatch. Bandersnatch. Bandersnatch.
Bandersnatch.
I was called
in the middle of two storylines.
BANDER!
I looked around
realized the choice wasn't mine.
BANDDA!
I had raised and I thought so many things I could do.
BANDA!
I knew I needed help from you.
I never saw it.
I don't really know what happened.
I just know you could pick different things.
It was like a choose your own adventure thing.
Yeah, you could pick different things to do.
They're taking that down actually.
They're altering their whole interface, the website.
Like the technology is like, they don't wanna support
this sort of like choose your own venture stuff anymore.
It's gonna be much more like end user inflexible
and they just don't like the bandersnatch that was an
experiment that they now consider really a fail. Oh great so now we are all forced to live in the world they created.
Well there's gaming I mean there's obviously gaming options. Sorry well the
world's different now. You don't get to just undo that. You don't get to put something like bandersnatch out of the world.
Netflix gaming will be a separate you know a separate thing separate thing and maybe there's something to do in that
where that's more of like a video game thing,
but the content, the actual scripted content
that AI is gonna be producing largely
is going to be like not Bandersnatch.
Can I ask you guys a question?
No.
Okay, nevermind.
I was gonna ask.
You just cook. Okay.
I was gonna ask, have you guys considered having,
you know, someone like Jess McKenna on these episodes,
Zach Reno, people who are-
I don't think she could keep up.
People who are really good at improvising songs,
especially white songs.
But the-
So what song do you wanna do, man?
I'm thinking about isn't she lovely?
I mean, if you think you could get blacker than-
You can call me that.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Hmm. Can I get blacker than the gray. You can call me out. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Hmm.
Can I get blacker?
Maybe something from Bob Dylan's black period.
And Zach and Jess, like, again, it's like very rushed.
You know what I mean?
That's true.
Their whole thing is like, okay, here we go.
We're doing this right now.
It's gonna be polished and finished.
This is what we're trying to like avoid that situation.
Well, we likely aren't even gonna release this episode.
Cause this is kind of a brainstorm session
for when we do record.
Okay, okay good.
All right.
So if you've got an idea you wanna explore,
if there's an artist and like.
I mean, I think we gotta do a Bob Dylan song.
Okay, we did do one already.
We actually did two Dylan songs.
Today.
We did Bob and Jacob. That's really great. We did did two Dylan songs. Today. We did Bob and Jacob.
That's really great.
We did do two Dylan songs.
That's great, that's great.
Well, that's good because I knew that they were Dylan songs
when we were doing them.
So yeah, maybe we do like, hmm.
Oh, can you do like Fat Lip?
Uh-huh.
Gonna hit it with a fat lip.
That one?
No, no, it's a rapper named Fat Lip.
Who am I kidding, who am I fooling?
And they'd be like, what up, Fat Lip?
And I say, cool it.
Yeah, it'd be tough.
Oh, okay, you guys are talking about two other things.
Other than the fat lip that I was thinking of,
which was the name of a song.
Brad is thinking about a lyric in a different song,
and you are thinking about an artist.
A West Coast rapper, Fat Lip.
Mm-hmm.
But now that I think about it, I don't know any
of the lyrics to any of the songs either.
It's just a thing I said.
You heard me say something.
You said something.
I said, now Sean knows something.
That's really good.
What did you say?
Because I'm trying to get the whole connected tissue here
that ended up with me just thinking of the kind of famous song. What did you say? Because I'm trying to get the whole connected tissue here
that ended up with me just thinking of the fame,
the kind of famous song.
Well, Fatlip has a song called What Up, Fatlip.
Yeah.
That I think was like his biggest solo single.
Is he in Farside?
I think he was a Farside adjacent.
Probably, I don't remember if he was in the Farside.
Yeah.
Oh, and now I said What Up.
The song I was thinking of is one that goes
dun dun dun, bang, dun dun dun, bang.
Oh yeah, I guess I know that one too.
Dun dun dun, bang, dun dun dun, bang.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Well, I mean, you know, obviously like we could do
a black artist, but it should be someone that
white people have co-opted so that everyone can play
like Bob Marley or something like that.
You know what I mean?
Or we could do a 311 song.
Well, that's interesting.
That's kind of the pan-racial song really.
Yeah, there's really no-
Because Amber is a little bit-
Nobody owns that.
Yeah, nobody.
311's sort of an international group.
I mean, we could do like, Hendrix.
I mean, Portugal the man, like, you know.
Portugal the man, sure.
That's true.
That's not white.
That's not white at all, yeah, yeah.
I think they're Canadian, though.
Yeah, Amber, so I see Amber lyrics are up right now.
Don't necessarily, I mean, I think.
That's not the main one you're thinking of?
No. What are you thinking of, All Mixed Up? I'm thinking All Mixed Up. All Mix one you're thinking of you're thinking of all mixed up
Don't they have a bassist named peanut they do
If it's You've got to trust your instincts. And we're gonna regret.
If it's sort of seasonal.
All Chex Mix?
Yeah, fall mixed nuts.
Oh, that's good.
Fall mixed nuts is good.
Fall mixed nuts.
The core is up there.
That's really good.
If we have Thanksgiving food, kind of.
Okay, let's do it.
Okay, we can do this.
We can. Okay, wait, all mixed up. Oh we can do this. We can okay. Wait all mixed up
Oh, he needs it. Oh, we're doing all mixed up now. Yeah, I think we need to yeah
Yeah
Okay, I
Don't know the first how the verses go you guys gotta sing it, okay
You got to include cash juice. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Because that's the best nut. Dude. Yeah. Watch me now with a wig of wild.
Oh, this is a rapping part?
Yeah.
Yeah, well that was what I thought
Sean was saying he was gonna do.
That you wanted to do that part.
I did, I was gonna jump into that part.
You did wanna do that part.
Yeah. Yeah.
But now I'm immediately thinking,
should I have said that I wanted to do that part?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, well, you know, that's our,
so the world of all Mick, fall mix nuts are
all mixed nuts is out there.
Yeah.
And we can just like, we can just go, okay, we tried that.
What's that song called?
Immigrant song. So that's pretty like diverse.
Yeah.
Yeah. But we'll get back to some of the stuff
we didn't necessarily want to touch on.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And they come from the land of ice and snow or something.
Yeah.
They do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ah!
When did they say, so this is Liverpool?
Yeah, I don't remember that.
Yeah.
That must have been a little sketch
that they had on the album.
And in future releases, they were just like, maybe we like.
Hang on, hang on.
We come from the land of all mixed nuts
where we serve them in a bowl or a cup.
Roasted and salted and all mixed up. Yes, I have a lot of mixed nuts.
Handful of mixed nuts.
Wait, when you get to the core yeah wait wait start that over again
okay okay I'll tell you the only Led Zeppelin song
I feel like I know really well
is Over the Hills and Far Away.
You gotta have that one locked and loaded.
I got that one.
You gotta have that one locked and loaded,
but we gotta figure out what we're gonna sing about.
Yeah, over the hills and far away.
Over.
Over the bills and dolphins play. But didn't it talk about Over the Hills and dolphins play.
But didn't even talk about over the hills and far away.
So we're like, we're saying bet the over
on the bills and the dolphins.
Over the bills and dolphins play.
The subtext is it's the Christmas day game.
Oh, okay, all right.
Wow.
The bills often do play.
They play on the bill.
Yeah, cause it's like a snow game.
Yeah.
Okay, hang on, I got it. Yeah.
Hey lady. Hey lady.
Mm-hmm. I'm booky.
I'll take a minus three.
Yeah.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Fading.
Ha ha ha.
A home faves.
Ha ha ha.
Oh darling, darling, darling.
I'll take a parlay please.
With two, with two touch. Darling, darling, darling, take a parlay please
With two touch, two touch, two touchdowns
Many times I've laid points against the spread now
Many times I've been wrong with all my picks
Many times I've tried to figure the sharp end off
Many times I've lost my life savings here.
And then it's like, many plays come through.
Yeah. Some win silver dollars.
I live for the cream.
That's something we can just say like, that's
another thing for like money. It's fun for the, yeah. I live for the cream. That's something we can just say, like that's another thing for like money.
It's fun for the, yeah.
I live for the cream.
Black people can get into that.
And a pocket full of gold, which is money.
A pocket full of gold, yes.
And so you're saying that satisfies the-
Oh, oh.
Black people are gonna be like cream,
Wooten plans, that type of thing.
That's helpful for them.
Oh yeah, yeah. That's great.
That's awesome. What about,
this says Mellow is the man,
what about Josh Allen is the man?
Allen is the man.
Receivers, he's been missing.
Okay, so then like, which is it?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Well, I think we got that one for sure.
Yeah, that was awesome.
We definitely rocked the first half.
That was really, really good.
That was awesome.
Yeah, I guess like-
The mess up is huge now and like-
Well, it's FanDuel.
Like this song brought to you by FanDuel.
And people have been mad at us
for like advertising gambling apps.
And I think because we hadn't done like
that much content about it, like in the actual show.
Well, it feels disconnected from us.
Now it's gonna feel more authentic, you guys.
Like this is taking me out of the thing.
It's not your personas.
It's like, well, now the rest of the show is about that.
And we do a song about it.
Yeah.
Yeah, that has felt really good that. And we do a song about it. Yeah. Yeah, that has felt really good
that we managed to do this song about gambling
and then the ads are about gambling.
I feel like that's gonna make people like the episode.
If we release this one,
this is kind of just a workshop session
for when we do the songs.
I guess, can you go back up to the top,
like what we were talking about
at the very top of the song?
So I think like, I got a little bit lost on sort of like
after the first line where I said like,
minus three.
And then it was like, I started saying touch
and then I said two touchdowns.
But what did that have to do with-
Where the two touchdowns come into play.
It was part of the parlay I guess,
which I also brought up.
Oh no, maybe the other one is a parlay.
The other game is a, it's not in the same game.
It's another game.
You're betting across the league, not just one game.
Right, yes, yes, yes.
It's great, because we're-
It's not a same game parlay.
We're getting ahead of Christmas and-
So let's put in the parentheses,
it's not a same game parlay.
So it's like over the bills and dolphins play.
Those are two different games.
And then it says, not a same game parlay.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I think that's good.
Well, I guess at the point it's called Over the Hills and Far Away,
we could have just said not a same game parlay.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
But yeah.
So should we end on a Christmas song?
We should just end it, I think.
Yeah, let's just end.
Hollywood Handbook. Yeah, look at them. Bye. Hollywood Hamburg. That was a hate gum podcast.
Hi there, my name is Allison Williams.
If you know who I am at all, it would probably be thanks to my job as an actress on shows
like Girls and in movies like Megan.
Recently, when I was having a moment of gratitude for my group chat, I thought, I wish everyone
could have these geniuses at their fingertips like I do.
Well, now you do.
Hi, hi, it's Hope.
Hey babe, it's Jamie.
Welcome to our podcast, Landlines,
where we share our life-sustaining
and shame-extinguishing friendship.
We have known each other and we've been friends
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Hope was my first best friend, but it wasn't mutual.
I mean, what's the a good story in my life.
I distinctly remember calling her on the phone
and asking if she'd sit next to me on the bus,
and she said maybe.
At least she didn't say no.
It was yes.
Maybe it was me.
She wasn't sure.
Maybe it was like discerning.
When I was pregnant, I started this group chat
to prepare and crowdsource,
and it's been such a delight to troubleshoot
with our friend group.
And we just had this thought, should we invite other people into our group chat?
I'm a therapist.
I'm a trained early childhood educator.
And I'm, well, you know, whatever I am.
I guess someone who has the vibe of having it all together.
And still the three of us find it hard to be moms, partners, friends, family members,
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The stuff we're talking about,
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I feel like I have like a family of squirrels
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Like I feel affirmed, I feel normalized,
I feel like I'm not going fucking crazy.
And I had to talk it out with you guys with different perspectives and different identities
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