Hollywood Handbook - Shelby Fero Again, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: March 16, 2015

Sean and Hayes open the show with a breakdown of how a table read works and update us on the status of the pilot from the last episode. Then, SHELBY FERO comes back to the show to talk about writing on Robot Chicken and the space show, reminisce on skateboarding with Sean, and make a shocking confession. Then, the guys bring out some cigarettes to share with Shelby and a modified Popcorn Gallery makes an appearance.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. to turn up, but finally I just go like, hey, can you just seat us? And they go, oh no, we can't seat you unless there's a full party here. And I take out one of those noisemakers that like, you know, you blow it a minute through. And I blow it right in his face and I go, is that a full party for you? And Feist was laughing. Yeah.

I'll bet, I mean, that seems like something that would upset Hozier. Hozier did not. A. Yeah. I'll bet, I mean, that seems like something that would upset Hozier. Hozier did not. A scary noise. Yes, he got so spooked. And he actually, when I turn around, he's hiding under the table. Yeah. And so I did have to coax him out with some treatsies.

I had some little, these like peanut butter cookies. If you tell him that church is somewhere, if you say like church is at the table. Yes, yes, yes. I didn't say yes. We had told him that church was in the other room. And so he was like, oh, we'll take me to that. You know?

Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet lineback hallways of this industry we call showbiz. Yes, yes, y'all. What up, what up? I'm a little baby. And that's a new spin on what up, what up.

And it's what if a little baby was saying it. So have fun with that, everyone who listens to it. We, last week, we were talking about our pilot. We're still very excited. Everyone involved is very excited about the project. We had our table read this week, which is always very... So informative. Yes.

You know, because then when you actually get the actors in the room together and put it up on its feet... Now it's real, you say. Yes. Oh, now it's real. People are actually reading this thing? Like, now it's for real. You say, oh, now it's real. People are actually reading this thing?

Like, now it's for real. Because before it was just little imagination drips of ours that had splashed onto a piece of paper, and I can't believe anyone's even reading this stuff. A table read is? It's not you reading a table. No, especially if you're an Earwolf listener, I understand you think that tables all have writing on them. Or in your house, if you try to read the table, it's got coaster rings.

And you think, not using a coaster, it's got water rings on it. You think it just says, ooh. You think it says, ooh, and you think your table's a ghost. You get upset. This is people sit around the table and they read the script. Yes, that's right. Table, sit around, read, read the script. Yes, so what they're reading is not the actual table.

And the actors are doing the script reading and all the executives and the money guys are in there and saying, oh, this is good, but this could be better. And you get great feedback that way. We are making a few changes to the project, which always happens. It's expected that this is just part of it. That's the purpose of the table read is to see what's not working

and what needs to change. If you recall, the project was initially about the dress that people didn't know the color yes it was whites and golds it was you know um families combining and it was um about that famous dress that we all loved and it was originally known as Baby Grandpa before that because my son, Carper, was playing this baby who was also the main guy's grandpa. He's played by Rose Ampere. They're backing off of the... The baby aspect of it has been minimized yes if not eliminated um and the grandpa aspect of it has also been um greatly reduced uh if not eliminated so they're backing off that side

of it and i see that instinct especially because the dress is so popular. And that just seems so much more now than a baby or a grandpa. They wanted to put the dress forward and have that be sort of the central conceit of it. Front and center. And it's not that the baby grandpa stuff wasn't funny, because it is. Like, to have a baby telling you World War II stories. That's great. But it wasn't right for this show, and we see that now. And so the baby's out.

We ended up not getting the dress as well. Oh, we should say that. Now, we don't have the rights legally to show the dress. It's trademarked. And so you would think, oh, well, then we'll go back to the baby grandpa thing. should say that now we don't have the rights legally to show the dress it's trademarked and so um so you would think oh well then we'll go back to the baby grandpa thing no that's off the table now so what we are doing is we are showing something that does appear to be two different colors it can't be a dress because that's obviously legally very sticky and it has it has to be

something from nature yes so you can't copyright this is a little secret like you can take anything from the woods and just use it in a show right you might be thinking can't you just make it a tennis skirt or some other item of clothing and the answer is definitely no we talked about that so a lot of what Hayes and I have been doing this week is just going out in the woods and picking up different rocks and sticks and things and seeing if we'd be taking pictures with our phones and seeing if they kind of can look like different colors and shadows or something. And just until we find the perfect rock for the table read, we had. Or stick. Or stick.

Yes, sure. Just for the table read purposes, we had engineer Cody just lie down and go to sleep on the table to kind of be to just be a placeholder this was not what we expected the network likes him yes and Cody

is in fact from nature he's naturally occurring I mean he's not so at any rate and we've gone through a bunch of life, right? Stuff with Cody already for engineer Cody boy, our movie. So, yeah, I mean, he's going to be the primary aspect of the pilot moving forward. Um, which we hope isn't going to be a problem.

Uh, and Roseanne has since moved away from the project. She's exited. She's exited the project. Yes. The PETA guy from Hungry Games. The table read, we had some issues with him. He was calling in from Bosnia, which we knew. He was shooting something over there.

A movie. We ended up getting this operator, like a Bosnian phone operator, who we kind of couldn't get past. So we were having him just do the part in place of PETA from Hunger Games for a while. Yes, and so that worked so well. It's hard to imagine what it would be if we stuck with Peter from Hungry Games.

So now it's this posi and phone operator. Hiddleston is still involved, but he is going to be operating the camera. He prefers to be called Mr. Hiddleston. Sorry, Mr. Hiddleston, and I keep doing that. He's going to be operating the camera. And we've actually got this really exciting uh kid replacing him who is um uh jen sulky's nephew uh she's like the number two executive at nbc right under greenblatt um and so she has this really cool nephew who she just thought would be perfect for it and i couldn't

agree more and jen if you're listening he is a dream and a total charmer and better than Mr. Hiddleston just like what you said so yeah as of right now the cast is Engineer Cody boy as the dress

sort of just sleeping on a table and we can sort of make him look however we want and then uh the baby's gone carper yeah the baby's no longer do you want to talk about that i don't know where he is ever since that tape you know i left the table read and there was some discussion I had had with Brooke that she would be driving him home. But as far as I know, she didn't pick him up. And since this was what, Tuesday? Yeah.

I haven't seen him. I don't know if he's upset. Because this could have been like a big opportunity for him. Yeah. set because this was this could have been like a big opportunity for him um yeah you hate to have like family stuff getting i don't know if he's mad at me or what but i haven't heard from this baby at all that wouldn't be fair i mean he was there and he saw that not everything was playing and you know not his fault entirely would he have preferred because like two weeks ago none of this was happening at all yeah so would he have preferred just like nothing to happen? Yeah.

I mean, the visibility that he got and to read in front of all those execs, it can only lead to good things down the line. So anyway, the show obviously no longer called Whites and Golds, no longer called Baby Grandpa. It is Untitled Engineer Cody Boy Project. It is Untitled Engineer Cody Boy Project. We love it, and we can't wait to start filming, and we're going into production very soon. So wish us luck, and good luck to all you at home who are listening with all your dreams.

Is this exciting for you? Yes, Cody, do you want to talk about, I mean? You barely said anything since you were asleep what they told you that they told us that they wanted you to star in the project did you know about this did we even tell you i did my agent spoke with them i'm just a little disappointed that it's not a union gig i figured well it's union for the actors, the writers, and the directors, but you don't really fit any of those categories. Yeah.

The sound engineer's union is not part of this. Well, it's the 695, and we're pretty strong, but for some reason, I want to play ball with you guys. I'll go to bat, but I was a little disappointed about that. So if we can make it up in different ways i'm open to ideas suggestions and he's doing the lascivious sort of lip lick finger hand gesture with combined with a tantalizing lip lick and it's now he's taking a big lug of what looks like dirt milk it It's not chocolate milk, but it is brown. And so I think dirt milk might be right.

It's coffee. Well, it just can't be. That is kind of. And probably if you could take a picture of it. And if you think about it, it is kind of. Coffee is something of a dirt milk. Please don't pull an engineer, Sam, and not take a picture of your drink that we're making fun of

because that really upset me when that happened. Please be a good little... He had such a funny drink that he was drinking. He was drinking pizza sauce, and we all remember how funny that was. And only I got to see it now, and so what a terrible tragedy for all of time. And so make sure you get a drink of your dirt milk. Okay.

We can do that. There's a fun, funny guest coming in today. Shelby Farrow has been on the show before to talk about youth culture. And I guess we'll probably do some of that again. And I think she's a TV writing show. I don't know. She's probably going to want to talk about that. I don't know. She's probably going to want to talk about that. I don't know.

It's on Hollywood Handbook. So I get off the plane with Luke Wilson. And you know how you get to the plane and then you walk to the bag part? No. You just walk to the part where the bags are going and i'm walking why and suddenly i'm sliding i'm like sliding forward so i get down on all fours until it's like over and eventually it does like start it kind of dumps me off into a part where i'm not sliding anymore it's called a moving sidewalk.

Okay. I'm sorry. I don't understand this bag thing. Well, that's interesting, too, because then they have another moving sidewalk for just the bags. Okay. Can you even picture this? When I first saw it and actually took it in,

my brain didn't understand what was going on because it's supposed to be, the sidewalk's supposed to be standing still. But when you step on this thing, it's like a magic carpet that's like moving you along. That's not a sidewalk then. No, that's what I said. It's a slide walk. It's a slide walk.

No, it is. That's what it is. It's a slide walk. Yeah, but I'm sorry. Just please take walk. No, it is. That's what it is. It's a slide walk. Yeah. But I'm sorry. Just please take me back to the bag part. What do you mean you go to where the bags go? There's a circle of bags. Okay.

So you're bringing bags like where you fly? Well, in this case, well, I was traveling with Luke. Okay. And Luke has that rucksack he has um he has andrew in like a little crate in a rucksack of some kind oh it's a crate now now it's a craze crate trained that's better hey welcome to hollywood handbook and it's that he's got a kicking button dropping names in the red carpet lineback hallways of this industry we call showbiz and what up what up and and so that's a tough guy yeah i guess so sort of a blue-collariz and what up what up and and so that's like a yeah i guess so

sort of a blue-collar gentleman saying what up what up and what do you think about that idea shelby farrow shelby farrow welcome back how are you to the show and you did the show one time so good to have you back and people have been saying they liked your episode and i've been trying to get to the bottom of why and so we brought you back in. Maybe we'll crack it. Because I listened to it and I'm like, was that good? Yeah. And I guess so. Well, I guess people liked it but when I listened to it, I go, I don't get

it. And what do you think happened? I mean, I thought I was like very approachable. People love that. Yeah, they want to be able to approach. Yeah, they want you to be a person. Yeah. You guys are like gods sometimes. Oh, is that what it is? People hate that.

People hate when I'm being like a god. People really like God, though. Some people. I'm sorry to sidetrack it, but a lot of people really like that guy. It is a double standard. So it's like, then if i'm being like that guy shouldn't you like me yeah but then you gotta think of like the dockins in the world doctors are you trying to say doctors doctors doctors wrinkle-free cotton dockers sure those

two yeah who's the other one the gervais you're never gonna get a gervais vote gervais gervais. You're never going to get a Gervais vote. Gervais. Gervais. Can I just say? Oh, Derek. Yes. Yes. She's talking about Derek. It's comedy Derek. Oh. I love how with him, there are no sacred cows.

His comedy is a variable slaughterhouse. I love it. Yeah, because so many people are walking on eggshells around ideas like saying religion or saying that even politicians or something. But he will just really dig in there with his stethoscope and his machines and really say what he sees. No, he'll knock your president's shrine right over. He said he would murder God. Yes, he said that he would murder him. And he said how, too, didn't he? Mm-hmm.

He would use a—when he was sleeping, when God was sleeping, he would use like a little pillow and just hold it down over God's face. Just a very small, very small pillow. A little one, yeah. Yeah. Shelby, what's going on? What's happening? What's the busy stuff?

Oh, so many things are happening for me. You're working on the new show. Yeah, I just finished at a show. Doing the show and ready and we'll all say it. Two, three and outer trading spaces. Oh, you're doing robot chicken?

I am. I just finished. Now what is that? Why would a chicken be a robot? Because it can't lay real eggs. Are the eggs metal? Well, have you seen the title sequence of the show? They sort of explain the whole basis. Yeah, they catch you up. Oh, okay.

Yeah, I think that my DVR has been cutting off that part of it. Well, then you're going to be lost. Yeah, I feel like I'm dropped in the middle of nowhere. Yeah. Is Seth Green doing funny stuff around there? He's a delight. It's constant hits. Pops in and out. What kinds of funny stuff? Does he He's a delight. It's constant fits.

Pops in and out. What kinds of funny stuff? Does he do Darth Vader and stuff? One time, he got the intern to duck behind my legs and he pushed me over. Oh.

And that was fun. Did you bunk your nugget? A little. I ended up going to the hospital that day, but we laughed the whole way. Shelby,

this other show you're working on, are you done with this as well? The space show? Yes. What's happening? We were thinking of the space show. We didn't know about robot chicken. Well, you guys don't talk to me.

A lot of science stuff in your work. Yes. I'm very smart. What is happening with that show? I'm so interested in it because it's new style. Yeah, you know, it's going to come out on Yahoo, which is sort of like the new frontier. And I have a question about that, actually.

Are the characters acknowledging the search bar in the middle of the screen? That's there the entire time? Yes. Do they like duck around it? Well, to be honest. Or is it like. Are they interacting with it in some way?

Like, are they asking it questions? And then it, you know, very quickly and efficiently brings them to some sources for their answer. It's kind of like. I don't want to give too much away. But, you know, Oculus Rift. Mm. Yes. You know that.

The Transformer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like the 3D experience of it. It's sort of like. He's one of the mean Transformers. No, he's the good one. yeah like the 3d experience of it it's sort of like uh he's one of the mean transformers no he's the he's the good one he's the yes he's the main good one well

but the main good one is kind of mean to the other good ones because he has to be a leader that's right that is what you're thinking of so yes so go ahead keep going it's like that how is that like it? Look, it's just sort of like we're trying to create a 4 to 5D experience with it. Okay. Okay. Yeah, that is the new dimension is asking it questions. Yeah, asking it questions.

You get responses. You get like a little clock in the corner that tells you what time it is. They'll check it a bunch. The fourth dimension is time. The fifth dimension is asking questions. Yeah. Okay, yes. And then the sixth dimension is time. The fifth dimension is asking questions. Okay, yes. And then the sixth dimension is love.

And isn't that a deep thing that maybe Interstellar sort of taught us? Sure, but don't take that away from your own quote just now. Oh, yeah, but I have to give all homage to Nolan. And the guy has his stuff screwed on right and thank goodness and I didn't like that memento because it really didn't make sense but everything else he's done has been good.

Did you watch the title sequence of it? They really get everything I only saw 7-8 minutes of the center of it. They build robotic chicken in the title sequence of that one as well.

It's like a grease thing where they introduce all the characters with fun little things and you sort of, you're like, oh, I get this. I get it from the get-go.

Grease thing? Yeah, you know, grease. Is that an Italian slur? Hey. Hey, is that an Italian slur? Sometimes. So, okay. If I'm watching the show. Sure.

Which one? Which of my many? The space. Got it. Love another space. Yes. And if I get a Yahoo email, do the characters tell me? Do they stop what they're doing and

do they read it to me? Yeah. See, that's hard because that's a setting thing that you will have to turn off. And people don't know that they can. Like we shot hours of extra footage for that. And no one gets that. Just all the different email words. Yeah.

Literally any email you get, they can read it to you if you want. But I'm scared people won't get that. Yeah. Here's a good question. Yahoo owns Rocket Mail too. They can read it to you if you want. But I'm scared people won't get that. Yeah. Here's a good question. Yahoo owns Rocket Mail too. Doesn't that make more sense for space? To put it on Rocket Mail? I didn't think that I would be attacked with gotcha journalism here.

Okay, okay. But you are. You fucking got me, Sean. What do you want? Yeah, okay. But you are. You fucking got me, Sean. What do you want? Yeah, okay. Well, now that you admitted it, I actually am okay with everything. Thank you. Sometimes I do Yahoo Fantasy Sports and I pretend that I'm coaching the team.

Now, if I'm doing that and then I'm watching the show, is the show going to be like, hey, Lawrence Taylor's hurt or something like that? No, but they will if an important part's happening in the sports game. They will freeze until the play's over so that you can go back and watch it without feeling like you're torn. This is a good show. It's really – it took years. It took years. How old are you now?

I'm 14. I'm 21, guys. You like being young? Yeah. Yeah, it's the best, huh? I'm wearing running shorts right now. Yeah, well, because at any time I'm so spry, I might just spring up and just go for a run. If I have a new project, I'm just going to head over.

Yeah, and even we could ride our skateboards, couldn't we, Shelby? Yeah, easily. I didn't know you picked it back up. It fell on the ground. Yeah, the last time I was with Shelby, my skateboard fell on the ground. And you ran away. It was very bizarre. I couldn't bend to get it.

I couldn't bend to get it. And so what I was doing was I had grabbed a broomstick and sort of... Hoping to kind of pierce it. Well, no, that was my initial thing was I wanted to go straight through it. But then I did find sort of a bunch of pencils that I taped together to sort of try to chopstick it up. Okay. You know? So one chopstick is the broomstick.

Yes. And the other is? A lot of pencils taped together. And so I was trying to sort of make a form of claw or something and lift it. And I will say, I did offer to just bend down and pick it up for you at the time, and I'm impressed that you said no. Please, I don't need your charity. I'll get it myself.

And as we found out, I ultimately did. Yeah, that was a great, what was that, spring of 2010? I'm trying to think. What was I listening to at the time? I always, my memories are so associated with music. Do you guys find that? Music is the strongest sense tied to memory. Yeah.

So what does that be? Dashboard confession? Something that is tripping me out lately is. Oh, we think it was. Oh, go ahead. Yeah. Music is invisible. It is something we all know and like, but it is not to be seen if you think about it.

Have you told other people that? It's been tripping me out. Dude, you know what I trip out on? And this will really trip you guys out if you ever really think about it, is everybody singing all that music used to be babies. And then they get bigger. But that's not the point, Shelby. That guy singing that was a baby. Was a baby, no matter what.

No matter what. Yes like. No matter what. Yes. 100% of the time. We don't. He could be Benjamin Buttoning. That's not like. Let's not put too much on other people. That's a movie.

What? It's a real thing though. Okay. Well, I can't speak to whether that's true or not. Guys, my sister's like in medical school. She would tell me. I bring this up to whether that's true or not. Guys, my sister's in medical school. She would tell me. I bring this up a lot around a lot of people. It's not.

Okay, but not all movies is based on real life. There's only actually a couple. Hugo, Training Day. Which they wanted to call. Fresh Prince, which was a TV show. They almost called Hugo that because of all the trains what was Hugo based on?

what was it based on? it was based on Hugo the boy it was based on a young Hugo boss and sort of his adventures and he lives in the train station and sort of every day

is something of a training day before he became a Nazi or whatever so so anyway what was I going to say? Oh, freaking Led Zeppelin was babies. Think about that when you're listening to that. Jeez, oh, Lou.

I mean, that'll freak your bean. You're talking about freaking your bean. I mean, the point of this seems to me to be you never know when someone's a baby or even, like, a fetus that they could be making very good music. So to, like, you know, just be, like. Invisible music, to speak to your point. Yes. And so to be, like, snuffing out a baby that could be famous. Is a crime.

It seems crazy to me. But also, like, how much music do we need there's a lot we have too much i do remember what i was listening to when i dropped my skateboard and it was in fact big bad voodoo daddy and so i think yes it probably was around 2010 um uh you know when we were in our skate swing phase. Now, do you want to speak on that? Big Bad Voodoo Daddy or our skate swing phase? Any of it.

I'm going to drink some water. Or something else. Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. You're so emotive. I can't hear at all. What? I mean, to be really honest with you guys, I've been thinking about quitting comedy and showbiz.

Oh, okay. Mm-hmm. I'm semi not joking. I've been thinking about you doing that as well. Yeah, I know. I know if you tell me a lot. But I actually truly don't know what I would do if I stopped. But I think I'd like to.

Mm-hmm. I have no contingency plan. I'm that way with breathing. You know what I mean? I know. art for you is just a part of you yeah well and if it's a choice for you i always say if you chose to get into this then get out the game because there's somebody like me who just it's in my In my fucking DNA. What trips me out, you just said, is art is a part of part. It's the end of it. It's the end of it. Then what's the first P stand for?

I don't want to say. It's rude. Okay, so an art. It's a very rude word. An art is in heart. Uh-huh. And DNA is and backwards. So when you really think about it, I just am art. And that's that.

Part and part. Shelby, you're healthy. Yeah. And you're young Yeah And so when we get together Young guys We like to partake

Sometimes Of substances Yes we get a little crazy And we're in the know And we're on the On the bleeding edge Of all this stuff So I brought something

That I felt like we could just do During the Like you know how Doug Benson does his thing? Yes, the experimentation with some of his stuff. Partake of something. Yeah, so I brought these. Oh my god.

I brought some of these. And Hayes is showing us all. What is it? It's a pack of cigarettes. Yes, I did. So I thought we could do some of these. And it's Parliament brand, which is very European and very hip. During the show. I'm going to be honest. Which one do you want?

I don't do a ton of cigarettes anymore. It'll be fun. Do you have like half of a cig? It'll be fun. Yeah, you can take half. You can take half. I'll take the other half, actually. Yes, we'll split them

so you take one yes and you take one what is it sativa and you can show us maybe how to do it it would be fun i think if you kind of yes you do it for we know how to do it but you do it first and then we'll do it let us let lead us because i know you unwrap it at the first well you you can if you want if you want to change it. Because you want to get to the inside, which is where the good part is. Sure, you want that mostly in your body. And you put it in your mouth, and I think that, you know, once you've done that, you're really having a good cigarette.

It's too wide to go in no you can't wise sometimes i will i'll take an apple and i'll carve a hole into one side and a hole into the other oh and it pretend it's a worm it can pretend it's a worm yes exactly oh wow that's really fun it's very fun which part do you just put on the end of your tongue you look you want to get a little bit of the paper okay do you you're supposed to just well are you trying to get a little bit of the paper. Okay. A little bit and just. What are you trying to dip? Oh, that's good. Are you trying to dip? Just pack it in your lip.

Oh, yeah. You can just soak it in water and pack it right in. And you can rub it on your gums too, right? Oh, that tastes so nice. If you want to get. I'm loving. You can inject it. I'm going to be honest.

You can. I'm loving the rush and the feeling from it. And these ones have the recessed filter, and it feels like you're on recess, and you're just a kid again, which we are young already. And you can keep stuff in it, too. I'll keep it just in my mouth.

It's almost all the way in. I keep my keys in the filter. That's so that it doesn't drop out. And so I can guarantee, I'll get maybe 10 seconds of it just looking really cool like this. And that's how you just go through a pack. I was going through a pack a day, you guys. What? Because you just got to be cool all the time.

You just want to be so, so cool. That looks good, the way Sean's doing it. I got good? We want to be so cool. That looks good, the way Sean's doing it. I got good? Yeah. And you just look out into the skyline, and you just go, wow. Oh, it's all the way in. Yeah, you just sort of look.

Can you believe doing cigarettes ever even almost went out of fashion? Because we all are so cosmopolitan. Because of government. And what they don't tell you is that george washington yeah just spit that out in the trash or cody usually usually usually i'd swallow it's just sort of like i'm trying to quit i don't yes george washington grew a cigarette oh yes and uh martha finished it with him and then he chopped it down. And that was how relationships often started back then in our country. So I do think that the government doesn't want us to be having these cigarettes and having fun as young people.

But at the same time, people can see how fun and how cool. And I think we're all being funnier now that we are having cigarettes. Yeah. I mean, personally, I feel like I can relate more to you guys. I feel like I want to look up to you more. And it's a side of, like, you don't normally see on, like, a podcast. That is danger. No, not anymore.

Yes. And just the, I mean, just the concept of doing a cigarette and talking about smoking is so funny and I see that with so many of the truly great comedians as they talk about smoking. Yeah, well, it's hard

because you can't technically smoke in clubs anymore so I've seen some just play videos of them smoking behind them just to really get the full effect. That's good. It's cool.

I like that more i'm trying well how you guys uh you guys into vape life i'm a little i'm sort of living the vape life oh wow now tell me more about it i know what it is but for haze and for engineer cody who don't no i've seen i know you get it it's sort of like uh it's sort of like smoking to the extreme you know it's like but more like my skateboard exactly yes sean it's like get it sometimes smoking with like a bigger thing it's bigger it's more cumbersome it lights up so it's like hey look at me i'm really smoking over here so you can see if it's dark yeah otherwise it's like what a tiny little fire on the end of your cigarette yeah if it falls on the ground you'd

lose it yeah the dark i want a fucking bright strobing light to let people know hey it's not a big deal and you can see sometimes far away in the sky those like big rotating like vape lights. Yes. So if you want to find another guy who's vaping, you just follow the big. Yes. The light. It's like a bat signal.

And part of what I found is a new piece of the cigarette. And so Sean did discover a new piece. Look. And so imagine what I could do with this. If I want to stick it in my ass or anything like that. To really get. And I'm that fucked up, you know, that I just like, if that's going to get it in my bloodstream faster, fine. I'll stick this weird.

Stick anything up my ass. Cottony part. I'll shove it up my ass. Oh, the popcorn gallery started. We want to do a thing that's a little different with this popcorn gallery but here's what we normally do most of the time people send in the question we pull it on to the show the question is read you and being the guest you answer the question for us got it that's the way normal oh oh we're not you explained that's the way normal. Oh, we're not. You explained it. That's the way normal.

But with you, it's a little different. Because we noticed something, Shelby. We noticed a little something. And this is to be helpful to you. And please don't take it as too offensive. It sounds like I'm already taking it that way. You're on Twitter. Go on.

Famous. A lot of friends on there wouldn't you agree yeah friends fans i get driven to the airport every day even if i'm not going anywhere we've noticed you write a funny you do a funny on there right uh-huh and then people respond to you yeah and it's almost like you don't notice. You know sometimes when you just get flooded with audience engagement? This is your fans reaching out to you

screaming out from the dark. And a lot of them are in the form of questions inviting responses to you. Are you missing them? If you're standing on the beach getting hit by the ocean you just want to enjoy it. You don't want to pick out every little salt crystal and drop and respond to it. I don't know how to deal with this metaphor.

I don't think anyone's asking you to pick out the salt crystals. From the ocean. They're just asking you to answer direct questions. That's how it feels sometimes. And sometimes there aren't. I'm looking at at it here sometimes there aren't that many yeah there's only a few sometimes or they're just sometimes they actually have a better take on your joke and i think that in those cases you should probably retweet them or just rewrite the joke to be what they did but i will say occasionally I will DM people to delete their tweets

because there's too many, and I don't want that to be cumbersome for their friends and family. Oh, so you just leave the good ones here. Yeah, I DM them like, hey, leave your question up. It was totally really legitimate. Well, we're going to give you an opportunity to sort of make it up to them. To follow up on some of the questions that you've missed. So we'll take a tweet of yours.

It's funny. Just any tweet and any questions that you've missed. So we'll take a tweet of yours. It's funny. Just any tweet and any funny that you've done. And then people have responded to that with questions and now you can answer them on our show. Okay, that's fair. That feels like a fair platform. And we hope you like it. So you tweet

yesterday it's crazy how many periods we're expected to deal with. And what's that mean? You know, ladies, we got like, what, 40 years of bleeding? That's a lot. Yeah. Yeah. It felt like, in the moment, it felt like a lot to me.

It was a fresh observation. It hit me like the baby thing, you know. It tripped you out. Yeah. It really stressed me out. Yeah, you know. It tripped you out. Yeah. It really stressed me out. Yeah, I trip out on stuff like that sometimes. And so that's sort of the foundational thought. Sure.

And then someone responds to you. Yes. This is Jamie Patton responds. Are we talking? What's her at? At Jamie SP. Okay. So a friend of yours.

Thank you. What's her little picture? Daria SP. Okay. So a friend of yours. Thank you. What's her little picture? Daria. Got it. And she responds, are we talking menstrual, full stops, or Jurassic? And so now that's a question for you. And now what you do is you respond to the question, ideally with another funny thing. Yes.

That kind of keeps the process going. The idea is to keep the back and forth going for as long as possible. Really tie them up in their engagement with me to keep them a fan. Yes. Should we have reached into the popcorn bag for that question? Yeah, let's do it. But this is like an electronic version, I guess. Oh, yes.

Okay. Well, you can bring out the physical if you want. I don't need time. No, this is like a cyber popcorn. This is, yes. We had Mark record one where he's being a robot. And Engineer Cody helped him with it. Got in the wires and helped him.

Do you pay them or do they do all that for... My friend Mark from high school? Yeah. Uh, yes. He gets to eat a lot of popcorn. Yes, he's handsomely compensated popcorn-wise. I feel like something for that, I almost want to be like, and then they'll give me. Well, let's take it out. You're jumping the gun here, Shelley.

Oh, sorry. We have to take it out of the bag. We do have to take it out. And hang on, let me play the sound. It's a Squirrel Nut Zippers CD. Okay, so I think what happened is Mark heard me talk about Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, and he probably felt like Squirrel Nut Zippers aren't getting enough love, and so he wanted to get them referenced in the show and also to pull this

electronic piece of popcorn out for you to be a question for you. It's crazy how good the Foley artist artistry was on that. Yeah, well, for all I know. It was like being in computer. Yes. So, okay, now you can are we talking menstrual, full

stops, or Jurassic? Well, that's hard because I'm not fully sure what she means by full stop. Like a period punctuation-wise. Oh, is that what they're called? Okay. Yes. She wanted to use a different word without saying period again. And again, I think I would respond like, those my only options.

Right. Come on, hit me with more. Oh, that's good. And then she will follow up with some more. Yes, because either she has more. And you make her strive to be her greatest self. Exactly. And come up with as many as possible.

And that's what we're talking about is inspiring your fans and lighting that fire under their ass to get out there and come up with more kinds of periods that there could be. And this is what's so great about the new social media and the digital revolution is we're able to communicate with these people and inspire them and drive them on. And she's going to win maybe gold medal for coming up with periods, types of periods. I'm sorry. Hayes, are you not moved?

No, I don't clap. It looks like it hurts. Hayes, the pain is what shows your appreciation for other people. So that's what we're giving something of ourselves. Hayes, can I get another smoke? I'm fiending for it. I'm fiending for these

things. Oh, yeah. Ooh, I gotta get my fix. You gotta slow down. You can mush two together. Oh, the withdrawals. Yes, I might need to. There's a little hole in the one end so you can put one inside the other. Yes, that's what I'll try to do is get a sort of daisy chain effect.

I will say sometimes I like to put two and look like a walrus. Oh, that gets you really, really, really messed. Oh, I get fucked up. Should we get another one of these? We can use the same tweet. There are like 12 different responses to this that you should probably deal with.

People love me. Should we get another question out of the bag? Yes, yes. Hold on. Let me just play the sound drop. Kukwagi. And what's in there? It's a smooth cigarette high.

Okay. Well, it looks like Mark's just as young as us and he's doing cigarettes too. So here's a response from Jake, at Jake from Gaffney. Same question? Same question, yeah. Same question. His response is,

so you say, it's crazy how many periods we're expected to deal with. And he says, for real, I can hardly keep up with the back to the future, parentheses, B-T-T-F timeline. Are we rebooting that? Oh, that's not a bad one. No, that's why I'm telling you. That's pretty good.

You should have responded. So how would you respond to something like that he's asking he's sending it back to you saying like taking your original intention now let's make it about back to the future and now what do you do rebooting is there any well he's there he's trying to do you know he's ponging it back to you so you have to ping it back to him well it's hard because that feels like he's trying to do sort of like an improv move. Yes. When really Twitter is like a slam medium.

Well, you're supposed to do it fast. You're not supposed to take time. You're supposed to respond really fast to these things. Back to the Future franchise. Well, if I laugh, do I have to respond with ha ha ha? Or LOL? That's good that's a good start does that give them too much i think if you start with ha ha ha and then you can get

into like another joke some sort of like hilarious quit back yes like what would i say how many periods are we expecting oh my god cody boy go Oh, you twisted off the end too. Take a picture. He made a big spliff. Oh, dude. Oh, I hear those camera snaps. Legendary spliff status. And I'm so iry, mate. Okay. So that's good.

There's another. Let's do these rapid fire I never answer I never answer I get Oh I thought it was just Gonna be ha ha ha No I guess I'd be like

Ha ha ha There's not that many films dude It's not that hard to keep up with Oh and then maybe Plug a brand Like isn't that a good way To just get paid then too Like it's not like

Hashtag transformers T5 coming this August by Michael Bay. Yes, Opulous Riff. Yes. Let's do, okay, really quick responses, because this is how you're supposed to do them. You're supposed to get these and just be like, bam, joke back, joke back, zoom, and they go like, what's this machine lady? Joke, joke, joke, joke. Yes.

Okay, so it's crazy how many periods we're expected to deal with Nicholas DG at End Eagle says and he pulled out the piece of salmon so there you go so Nicholas says that's a Picasso quote

word like periods he did a lot of periods I have a good response for this one it's a Shelby motherfucking Pharaoh and then I would tweet some sort of picture along with that

I was like hello and being aggressive you should stay on the theme. You know? You should give, take what they give you. You know? So he says like,

that's a Picasso quote word and you could be like, he's doing a lot of the work. And then you say like, yeah, Picasso had a terrible menstrual cycle. What about this one?

Like, yeah, I had a blue period the other day. It was really fucked up. It was pretty scary. Oh, Picasso runs all those tampon ads. That's fine. Is that too many?

That works. I might be like, I use toilet paper for that because Picasso sound like kind of like he's saying that you're picking at your butt. Like, kind of like he's saying that you're picking at your butt. So, for me, I'm thinking, this guy's already done a lot of the work. He has such a funny word in here that I actually don't need to do anything to tweet back at him except just take that word and just say toilet paper. I'm nervous because I have one more response, but that was so strong. Yeah, well, go ahead and put yours out and maybe I'll even beat that one too.

Well, it's sort of like, yeah, it must have been hard when your vagina was on your forehead. Oh! That's like an art thing. Mm-hmm, yeah. Because I went to school. Cubes.

You improved it. I don't know. Now. Oh, the cigarettes, man. Well, they get to you, and that's the price you pay for just looking great and being one of the madmen, basically. Thanks so much for being here. Thanks for coming on the show. And this is good for you as well to just like now,

now let's everyone listen. If you follow Shelby, tweet a joke response to one of her jokes and she'll be a little better, right? Yeah. About getting back

to some of these things. No, you're right. I was much funnier in my responses. I could be a lot. They're letting me be funnier. Or even responding at all. It's just a great opportunity.

And some of these people deserve a follow. And if you're funny enough, you will get a nice follow from Shelby. Yes, if you tweet a really funny response to one of Shelby's tweets, and this is moving forward to all you followers out there, she promises to follow you

and probably start retweeting you. If they tweet me their address, I'll show up, make a vine. So yeah, you guys can make a vine together. And show up and make a.... So, yeah, you guys can make a vine together. Show up and, yeah, make a – A six-second piece of gold. It's like a baby. It's what you call like a baby.

Yeah, a six-second piece of gold. And who got the pro version this week? A bear. A bear got it. And so Shelby's going to turn you on to some cool new music, A Bear, because we've been talking about all this music. And who's the youngest, coolest musician that a bear could listen to? Do you mean literally a bear?

That's the name of the bear. Got it. Okay. He's like a – okay, I got it. Who's hip right now? Well, you know Lorde. Lorde's like she's what, 14? Got a lot of hair.

Lorg? Yeah, Lorg? Got a lot of hair. Lorg? Yeah, Lorg. Got a lot of hair? That's what people like about her? Yes. She's got a bunch of hair? Voluminous hair. You guys, she was big on the charts. Like us on Facebook

and please do talk to us on the forums and just, you know, what else can they do, Hayes? Oh, iTunes. Yeah, iTunes. Yeah, five stars. And while you're on iTunes, look at Lorg and all the, you know, the hair. And just thanks for listening and thanks for being our friend.

Say bye. Oh, I have to say something else? being our friend. Say bye. Oh, I have to say something else? No, say goodbye. Oh, bye. You say goodbye. And say a bear's name they like when you... Oh, yeah, he wants to say his name. Bye, a bear.

Is that not great? Is that not great? This has been an Earwolf Media Production. Executive Producers Jeff Ulrich and Scott Aukerman. For more information, visit Earwolf.com. Earwolf Radio. Boom. Dot.

Com. Oh, oh, oh. The wolf dead.