Hollywood Handbook - Stephanie Allynne, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: October 19, 2015

Sean and Hayes have taken a stand and decided to do the Hollywood Reporter Most Powerful Showrunner Questionnaire on the show instead of in the magazine. Then STEPHANIE ALLYNNE appears to dish on her wedding plans and answer questions for the Popcorn Gallery about strange food.?See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast so it's me don barris jimmy kimmel's warm-up stand-up uh cousin sal yeah jimmy kimmel's cousin And Frank. Langella. So Frank is on an absolute fucking heater. Yeah. I mean, he can't stop rolling. And we're all stacking up dollars and stuff. And I'm just out there just like cheering him on, just sort of doing all my like crazy chicken dance moves. And I'm doing the walk like an Egyptian and just getting people pumped up and I'm like oh come on people we're taking down the house anyway

Frank leans over to cousin Sal and Don Barris and he gives them each the dice to blow on but when Don blows a spit line comes out of his mouth and gets on the dice sure and then Frank rolls a winner of course hard 10 you know that's my bet baby the big dick and when it lands it's it sticks to the table a little bit. And they say that the spit was tampering with the dice. Yeah. So then they make him roll it again. And he craps out. Well, that sucked.

It's called spider manning. It is. It does do that. It's when Don Barris spits on your dice. Okay. But I didn't think they were going to see it. Was he mad that you were warming everyone up? Was Don Barris mad?

I think he was happy to have the vacation. Have a little break. Yeah, to just lounge. Yeah, busman's holiday kind of thing for him. I mean, it's a little weird for him to see like, oh, God, this guy is doing it, getting the crowd really pumping in a way that maybe i don't always well he i've seen him do the walk like an egyptian and he does the city puts both hands in the same instead of doing one up and one down he has them both going up both yeah both up he's just both

down yeah so he's almost doing like a mantis thing. Yeah, it looks like people think that he's trying to raise the roof and doesn't know how to do that, but it's actually he doesn't know how to walk like an Egyptian. Yeah. Raise the roof or roof is on fire. What's a better roof thing that gets you excited? I think it's the roof is on fire. Yeah.

Right? roof is on fire yeah because right that says the you know the bleeped out word and that that gets me very excited right after that to go back to the story about the hard 10 i don't give a shit about the fucking money you know yeah i just like to feel the electricity in the air. Now, was this before Cousin Sal and Don and Jimmy and all them got famous? Or was it after? Because for me, I honestly find that it's the same thing, basically. They're still the same guys. I don't remember which one it was. It's impossible to distinguish.

No, there's no way to tell because those guys never changed a lick. I guess that's kind of like me, I guess. Hey, welcome to the Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet linebacker hallways of this industry we call showbiz. Is there an echo in here? Hey, that's just fucking cute. You guys saw the Hollywood Reporter came this week.

Fuck you. Stop. Like, you were upset by that when I said... Fuck you, man. Just because I said, is there an echo in here? I don't gotta talk about anything. Are you just not gonna contribute to the show? No, dude.

Let's do the thing. You will do. Okay. Yeah, let's do it. Okay. Fuck you. Are you trying to mouth it? Because I can distinctly hear you saying it.

What? It's very audible. It sounds like you're accidentally saying it as you try dude i don't know what you're talking about so you said you want to do the thing let's do it okay bray you heard you you heard it i mean you're the engineer whatever dude you do what is that what is it that we're mad about? It's that I said, is there an echo in here? Oh, did you say that? I didn't even hear it.

Yeah, an echo. As if I don't know how to control echoes. I mean, what am I doing here? Well, now you, I could see why you would be upset, Brett. Because that is part of your job. So when I say, is there an echo in here, that is a referendum on you. Sean, that I don't... I'm sorry, Brett.

Usually you like that kind of thing. How? Usually when someone repeats someone else, and if you say it at the same time, you say, Jinx, I know you like that. Right? It's making you smile right now, yes.. Right? Yeah, buy me a coat. It's making you smile right now. Yes.

Yeah, buy me a coat. Jinx, buy me a coat. Or if it's like someone says something. Reminds me of being a kid. Or if someone says something a little after someone else already said it, you say, is there an echo in here? I know that you enjoy this. As an idea, I get like, okay, like, yeah, that's that's yeah it's fucking hysterical but like

to say something like that is really really really funny but for me being the person who was kind of just trying to participate in the, a part of the show where I don't always feel like I am part of it. Uh, and that then there was like, you sort of took a shot at me. Like maybe that I was off on my timing. Right.

So that it. So like when I had like actually wanted to do it with you, like with you. And then I know that I didn't like I didn't nail it. Like I didn't get it exactly right. And I thought we would just sort of move, you know, move on. And then to sit,

to double back and be like, Oh, by the way, Sean, like you fucking didn't, you're like late on the queue or like, it's like, is there an echo in here?

Like, so yeah, it's about me. It's not about you it's my thing i didn't feel like i did a as good a job as i could have and i didn't want to live in that longer than i had to well thank you for explaining that i really you both come up with somehow very legitimate reasons why you would both be upset by me saying is there an echo in here? Well, I shouldn't have said fuck you three or four times. That's not the best way to say that. So you are admitting that you did say that?

I may have, yes. Well, we all said we were sorry. Yeah, we don't have to. We were talking about the Hollywood Reporter. That was going well. So, yes, so fun. Yeah. The issue Reporter. That was going well. So fun. The issue came.

You may have noticed that a big part of the middle was ripped out. Because they did this week the most powerful showrunners of 2015. And it's only a very select group of, I think, 80 people who run the best, most famous 80 shows on television and online. Lots of online and also on DirecTV's exclusive channel. Yes, and in a couple of the more select YouTube and Sony Crackle channels. There was a big spot in the middle that was supposed to be us. We did the spread. We did the shoot. We did the shoot.

We did the whole thing. Really funny photo shoot. Hayes is playing with a beach ball. Answered the questionnaire. Yeah, what were you doing? Okay, so originally I had wanted to be inside the beach ball and have it be clear. The beach ball was big enough, but you couldn't see me inside of it. And so I wound up just being like, oh, well, I'll bury myself in the sand, which I thought

was going to be funny. But then somebody smeared honey on me, ants started trying to eat me. And so what I am doing in the back is just applying salve. Why were there ants? On the beach? Yeah, I don't know. Mean beach. So anyway, we decided to

we decided we wanted to do our, there was like a whole questionnaire and stuff for all the showrunners and we decided we wanted to do it on the show. Part of it is the category, they split all the showrunners into four categories, the network ambassadors, the ratings magnets, the heavyweights, and the pop icons and it's like yes i am a network ambassador for and we should say like the show we're talking like baby grandpa

is a show now it's grandfather yes grandpa's baby grandpa is became grandfather yes and so yes we are a network ambassador and that we do outreach for the networks it's sort of the identity for fox now we're also a ratings magnet he's not suited for this like he's not suited for the job that he's taking yeah which we came up with that tagline because we were like oh he's he's wearing a suit. So he is suited for it. You could say it's a ratings magnet as well. Well, it absolutely is. And I don't want to skip all the way to the end because we do have more to cover, but we are pop icons because it is a ratings magnet and because we are network ambassadors and we now own the brand.

And heavyweights as well. Yeah. Combination of ratings and being iconic and yeah all these factors at play so we just sort of wanted to do it ourself and um uh do the questionnaire and answer the questions one by one that they asked for this quiz and so i'll just throw them out there one by one and i'll say the question and then we'll do the answers after i question first say the question answers yeah first question biggest job challenge i didn't have five years ago sean go um uh i guess north korea keeps hacking me um they i do you remember when uh shiloh buff says

megatron wants what's in my mind in that one part of the Transformers trailer? Yes. Revenge of the Fallen, I think. Yeah. So it's a little like that, but my Megatron is North Korean hackers, and what's in my mind is what's in my email because I'm always emailing myself these ideas that I have when i'm out on the run so let's say i'm walking and uh some kid on a scooter eats shit in front of me uh smash his face in the sewer i'll grab my phone and go siri email email me scooter man sewer face and just i'll go like that's something I can use in the show.

Right, but how would they- Or even if you saw the latest grandfathered, when he is walking away from a liquor store and he's calling out to his son, Gerald, there's a man in an alley in a trench coat and he goes, I'll be your Gerald. And that was your- That is something that I thought of when I saw a homeless guy.

And I thought, what's funny about this homeless guy? What was the code for that that you put in your phone? For that, it was man in alley, maybe I make him sex pervert. And I just said that. But then also North Korea got in there, locked me out. Luckily, I have two email accounts. So I could get into the one, but the other one, they locked me out and they took it. And I understand it's a very popular North Korean film at this point.

You could use your second email account then as, I guess, a Trojan horse to get back in. Well, I sometimes do put ideas in there that I want them to have. Mm-hmm. Stuff about just communicating better with America. Stuff about just like sending me like whatever Pringles or something like just to see like if I can in fact do Inception on their minds. Mine is five years ago, I had like a baby. Yeah. i had like a baby yeah i had like a kid huge one uh and you know say that right it's too big that's not i don't want it yeah it was it well that was the problem it was too big now i don't have that challenge anymore

it makes it much easier to do television and things like that. So the biggest challenge that you have now that you didn't have five years ago is a challenge you had five years ago that you don't have anymore? Oh, I rewrote the question. Yeah, that's good. Because you did the other question. Which one? Like you did a challenge that you didn't have five years ago. Yeah.

And so now I'm doing a challenge that I did have five years ago. Which is almost more interesting. five years ago yeah and so now i'm doing a challenge that i did have five years ago which is almost more interesting and maybe the hollywood reporter should take a little lesson that i don't change their question that i don't have anymore last binge watch oh okay um last binge watch for me um is it weird if I say pornography I mean cause really when I think about

like when's the last time I just stacked up a bunch of something and watched it in a row um it was porno you just watch a lot yeah it's not necessarily like a show

for me it's even just a compilation of clips of this one thing that I was looking to see more of it doesn't say it just says last binge watch yeah last binge watch 100%, last binge watch, 100% porno. Yeah. that I want to do or that I'm scared to do in a lot of cases

and finding out that it's safe and that they even like it. That to me was great. All amateur, don't like the idea of them being pros at being done for money. I want it to be. Stationary camera. it being done for money I want it to be stationary camera yeah and I like it to be

seem like they don't know they're being recorded whenever possible so that yeah that's probably the last thing I binge watched per se Hemlock Grove I guess I watched all the episodes of that

in a weekend but that doesn't really feel the same to me as like when I just sit down for a couple days of porno my last binge watch well Christmas hiatus will be a blur of Bojack Horseman, Sense8, Game of Thrones and Rick and Morty

oh wait no sorry that's the answer of the Walking Dead showrunner, Scott Gimple. Well, that is mine, too. I mean, it's a coincidence, but I feel the same way. Christmas hiatus will be a Christmas hiatus. Yeah, I mean, that's so crazy. I mean, that is kind of a coincidence, but it is true for me. Christmas hiatus will be a blur of BoJack Horseman's Sense8 Gaming.

So your last binge watch is, and again, you've changed the question in the same way that Scott seems to. Scott Gimple did. Your last binge watch is what you plan on doing over Christmas vacation. It's my next four binge watches. And the idea that that would be a binge watch almost makes it sound like you haven't seen it, but you know it would be cool to have seen it. Seen those things. Because for you to binge watch BoJack Horseman, really the best way to binge watch something is to not have seen it and watch all the episodes right so so it's what you plan on doing it's what you wish

was your answer and you're going to make it your answer later yeah and you know you have time and you know what you wish you could say you watched. Yeah. But now I'm confusing. I don't know where Gimple's mind ends and mine begins, which I think is maybe what happens in Sense8, although I haven't seen it. But Christmas Hiatus is going to be a blur of that. Brett, what's your last binge watch?

Narcos. Go-to writer's room. Hey, we're done. Go-to writer's room takeout. Okay. We're done. Go to writer's room takeout. Okay.

For me, it's probably Hayes' grandma's sweet potato pie. And I will call up Hayes' sweet little old lady grandma and I'll say, ooh, we in the writer's room are really stuck on something and we just need a big scoop of sweet potato pie. And she'll come trotting it over uh she has um a machine that she walks on what is it called hayes her her her machine that she walks on yeah it's like a bionic um machine for walking well it's like um i hesitate to use transformers again no it's the it's the steam-powered wheelchair from wild wild west yes that's right yes it's not really No, it's the steam-powered wheelchair from Wild Wild West. Yes.

That's right, yes. It's not really walking, but it's instead of walking, it's rolling. Well, eventually, the character that's based on her, she is able to fit herself into a giant pair of steam-powered walking spider legs. Exactly. So she will spider her way over to the writer's room with that sweet potato pie i guess four pairs of spider legs is really what she fits into not one and i will slice it up and i'll just say hey best pitch gets the first piece and then just get get out of the

way i imagine just being pelted with pitches oh gosh everybody wants it and then i no no no no i guess i'll eat it mine is um the uh fred's ribs yo freddy's ribs ribs from house of cards from house of cards yeah they they have that guy doing real ribs. Oh, that should have been my last binge watch. Although to me, that is porno. That's how good that show is. It makes me feel dirty afterwards.

Oh, is that what you said? Porno? Is that what you were talking about? House of Cards. And the thing. Wait. It could have been Wolf. Remember? But you said you want your porno to be as if people don't know they're being watched,

which is literally every other show except House of Cards. Except that one? Yeah. That's very frustrating for me to watch it, yes. I mean, when he looks out at you my favorite i imagine you're like in a kind of a vulnerable position for him to like yes oh yeah turn and stare at you you're you know it's a very withering yes but but my favorite episode is the first episode of season two when all the way up until the last moment when he's doing his makeup or something.

And he goes like, oh, you didn't think I forgot about you. And I go like, I had hoped that you did. I was really – ideally I would hope you had, but he didn't. Strangest writing ritual? I guess just that I pee in a bag. Like when I'm writing, I don't always want to run out to go to the bathroom. And so I will pee into a bag, a cloth bag. And I'll do that over and over again.

Just – I hate it about myself, but that's being a writer. Like writing is the hardest part of writing. Like nobody really loves it. And writing is rewriting and rewriting is the hardest part of writing. And so for me to ever be leaving the room or even having a good receptacle in the room to hold pee is going to take away from the experience. So I guess I'd say peeing in a bag, cloth bag. For the, uh, for my, I'm going to, Biggest Job Challenge I didn't have five years ago. But I'm actually going to agree with Christopher Lloyds, the Modern Family showrunner, because he says the biggest job challenge he didn't have five years ago is getting people on our show not to be influenced by what they read on the child-controlled internet. Because if you remember, it used to be people just like watch tv and then

you know not like be able to like post nasty things about it but then in 2010 yeah people really start you know like the internet exploded and it just became like all these nasty things on the internet everywhere so that has become a big challenge of the last five years for me. That you didn't have before, yeah? Yeah. Oh, I'm going to redo mine too. Strangest writing habit for me instead, I'm going to say, I like to keep my keyboard very clean.

Okay. Do you want – That's almost more unusual. Do you want us to do anything with the thing about you peeing in a cloth bag? Do you leave that as an earlier one or do you want us to use this one? I'm making it this one. You're going to make it this one. Because that really is strange how persnickety I am.

We have a great guest today. Wait, you don't have a strange writing habit? Oh, no. Yes. No, I'm sorry you don't have a strange writing habit oh no yes no i'm sorry i do have a strange writing habit um uh mine is that i buy a new laptop before every show i'm on oh god no i'm sorry this is kenya barris's uh from from blackish man you really got all your answers stepped on by some of these other uh sort of knockoff hazes well i mean i just thought it was like a really you know exactly like he says it gives me a fresh start i think it's very relatable to every time i start writing a new project to throw a very expensive piece of machinery in the garbage. And you may start writing a new project really twice in a year.

I mean, I know that I wrote for three shows in the past year. So for me to throw out a $2,000 laptop in order to start fresh, doing basically the same exact fucking thing. Well, I mean, you're opening essentially Word documents. Basically the same exact fucking thing. Well, I mean, you're opening essentially Word documents. Mm-hmm. And the idea of having Word documents or final draft documents for multiple shows on one computer, I mean, you just need a fresh start. Yeah, you got to start over.

And sometimes the shows even provide you with a computer, and you got to just block that out and buy a new one. So you take the one from the show and you throw that one and your old one in the trash. Please. I'm looking for a fresh start here. Well, I already said we had a great guest. And it's either Stephanie Allen or it's gonna be

Joe Engert and Brandon Joe Engert and Brandon content both great both really good shows but I guess you'll have a sense when it comes on

which one we got try try to infer why we made the decision that we made on Hollywood Handbook.

Hollywood Handbook. So I look down at the table. I look at him. I look at the table. I look at him and I go, Joran, Vandersloot, forgetting something? And he's like, what? And I go, what, what? And I'm like, your Diet Sprite remix has no coaster under it, Joran.

I got water rings all over the table. Oh, a lot of them. He keeps picking it up. He keeps picking it up and moving it. There must have been a dozen of them. And he didn't even apologize. Was this at your house? Yeah.

Okay, it was at your house. Well, not in my kick-ass basement apartment that I live in my dad's house. But it was at Steffi's house, which in a way is mine. Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, yeah, because she screamed bloody murder when she saw the coffee table. Well, what that – and because I wonder if that would betray that you had been – that you had had food in the living room. Uh-huh.

Which is – I mean, the place is like a goddamn fucking museum. And I love her to death, and I understand. It's like a – I mean, I just want to clarify what you're phrasing. People might think that you were sorry, but it is like a fucking museum. Yeah, yeah. There's all kinds of, like, very valuable sexual artifacts from the past. You know, the first sort of penetration machine. And so these sorts of things litter the home and it gives it a cool American horror

story vibe. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet lineback hallways of this industry we call showbiz. What up, what up? We love having guests on the show. Oh, God, talking to them, the whole thing, it makes it worth doing. And today we got one. She's here?

And it's special today. Don't you think? Because we had Aaron Whitehead. We've had that. Lauren Lapkus. We've done that. And we had Missy Holloway. And she's so nice and watch

Blank Talk and so that and that rules now but what do those guys have to make them the same to be wild horses and one more is Stephanie Allen and she came to and the last

be the big guest and that's why it's special most ones come on hi hi thanks for having me on come on hey hey come on don't be so coy yes we should do more of the thing that um you know how pete holmes does where it like starts in the middle and the guest is always like, are we doing it? Right, yeah. Have you heard this kind of thing where they go like, oh, are we going already? Oh, and it's already, yeah. And they're having a conversation that clearly they didn't think was for any kind of performance reason. And then the host will go like, oh, we're going, baby.

Yeah, we've been going. This is how we do. That's what the hosts will say sometimes. So can you just be like... Girl. Are we going? Yeah. Oh, we're going, Steph.

Oh, that was my actual intro. We've been, yeah. No, totally. Women in comedy, is there a bigger champion for them than this show uh it's hard to say yes to that we've had um i think uh how many white guys have we had in a row i want to say 16 for the past yes but we mentioned three women that we have had on and if this isn't a fourth one well then i'll eat my hat so so what about that speak on it thanks yeah i'm a female first in person second yes very brave to say continue speaking on what the whole thing our bravery and your own

oh i'm i don't even think of myself as being here as a woman, but it's a very true fact. Us neither, because funny's just funny. Is that right? Right. Engineer Brett? Yeah. Do you care who makes you laugh, or you just want

to bust up? Yeah, I mean, I have a lot of thought on that, but... You have a lot of a single thought on that well we have room to hear one why don't you lay it out there sounds like a big one i just think uh i think with brett it is kind of like everything in his mind is sort of a percentage of one thought yeah he has this one thought that's sort of this slug with many arms. And sometimes he's like focused on one of its arms, but

essentially there's just one thought, which is like me, Brett? What's the thought? How do sound do? You know? So that's sort of just from knowing you, I kind of have got a sense of what's happening in there but i don't give a shit what your freaking pieces are if you're making me bust up who cares

i just like to laugh and this time it happens to be a man making you laugh which is is you yourself. Yes, well, and I never hold that against me. Because I just don't, it's like Stephanie, our guest, said, I don't think of it that way. And we just don't. It's like, I don't see race and gender and all that crap

that the Democrats want me to focus on. So much seeing about you in the news. People, places, thanks uh what's the other diary the diary and frank yes well no oh not that oh what is that the diary van frank it's um it's a published diary about a girl who was in hiding during those. With the unicorn stickers and the rainbows. You remember those binders that she had?

Yeah, Diary of Anna Frank. I don't know if that's what her diary looked like. I do, actually. Yeah, we've seen it. Yes. Did you, and you were saying she was in hiding for what? She was in hiding from the Nazis during... Stop, get out.

You wrote that? No, it has nothing to do with me. Oh, wow. That's a good idea. You're separating yourself from it. You're disowning. You were channeling something when you wrote it. It was like it was speaking through you.

No, I never wrote it. I have nothing to do with it. So humble. What is it about doing acting and everything that really gets you off? I like being other people. Uh-huh. Yeah. Which ones? Like the people of People, Places, Things.

The eponymous people of that. Right, yeah. I'm a person in that. And yeah, anything I'm in, I'm a person. Which is nice. Speaking of people, sometimes they like to be in love and kiss and all that. Yes. And after that comes wedding bells.

Mm-hmm. Yep. We know you're getting married sometime soon. Very soon. Do you want to say when and where that is? No, but I am getting married this month. This soon. Do you want to say when and where that is? No. But I am getting married this month.

This month. Yes. And this is October. I can see why you wouldn't want to say that in front of Engineer Brett who is something of a notorious

wedding crasher. He could not get enough of that movie. But I can say we're getting married in Mississippi. Am I correct? It's a side BBI.

Okay, okay. What city? Near the river or? No. Old muddy? No. Not near the old muddy. Not having an old muddy wedding wedding seems like a missed opportune

so um when getting married it's something very personal to me of course because stephy and i just renewed our vows and i break for you to applaud that in some way uh i is i was pumping my fist i mean people can't hear that, I guess. But is that not enough? I thought you were telling a nearby big rig to honk its horn. No, I was saying like, yes. And I raised my eyebrows like, oh. Yes.

Yeah, I noticed that. That I appreciated. Yeah. I could almost hear it because they've gotten huge. Yeah, letting them grow out. Is that to play one of those Geico cavemen? No, you know like certain models that just have really bushy eyebrows? Going for that all natural Nell look.

When you renew your vows, do you rewrite them or do you renew the ones that you did before? For me, I had to do new ones. A lot of topical references. Yes, the ones I had done were very out of date. Oh. There was, I mean, there was not room in the old ones to sort of just drop in the references that I needed to have. The dress, left shark, the ice bucket challenge. Deflate gate.

Deflate gate, yes. So that stuff had to be in there because that's so part and parcel with what me and Steffi are about, which is just what's now. And so it meant I had to kick a lot of stuff to the curb. We had just renewed our vows maybe 18 months ago, so that had like revoltified people's names. You know, it had a lot of that kind of shit in there. That sounds nice. Yeah, so that had to go.

But, you know, we try to renew our vows just every time enough, like, funny shit has stacked up. If I feel like I've got enough zingers, it's like time to renew the vows. And you invite everybody there, and you know this because you're planning a wedding. You invite everyone, and it's like planning a big show, isn't it? Yes, your wedding is a Hollywood wedding, and everyone there is going to be pretty wealthy and stuff, which is why you can force them to travel a very long distance. And you're from Mississippi? No, I'm not.

So it's just a random thing. No, my fiancé is from there. No, I'm not. So it's just a random thing. No, my fiance is from there. Okay, well, okay. Yeah, we didn't randomly pick it. They don't, yeah. But Mississippi is surprisingly stunning on the Gulf Coast. Oh, okay. Yeah.

On the coast, not in your, not coastal muddy. But so you're inviting the rich people and you're putting on the show. And what are some of the big events you have planned, the big surprise? The set pieces. Yes. We're not really going for that vibe. It's very Southern charm and kind of. Oh, like that Paula Deen.

There's this getting back to the old ways of doing things where honestly everyone was happier with that arrangement. May I ask, will the Colonel be there? No, that's not exactly it. Because you are in comedy and Norm Macdonald is the Colonel now. And I wonder if maybe he comes dressed as the Colonel. No. No Colonel. No Norm Macdonald is the colonel now, and I wonder if maybe he comes dressed as the colonel. No. No colonel.

No Norm Macdonald. What colonel did you think? We were talking about Colonel Mustard? No thanks. He might kill somebody one six of the time. He's a suspected murderer. He's on the short list of people who may have committed a murder. Anyways, yeah, it's sort of a, it's on the beach one thing don't make sense about that game so i get not knowing who did the crime when you find the dead body but you definitely know what

the murder weapon was right away right of those things you would think you would know there's some debate maybe between like it's either a wrench or the candlestick or something. But like. Or the lead pipe. The lead pipe. That's what I mean. Yeah. So like those, maybe I could be like, well, they got hit in the head with one of these two things. But poison is off the table at that point for me.

When their skulls caved in. Or they have a bullet hole. Oh, yeah. Then I go like, it had to be this rope. JK, I'm freaking around. Did you get that, Brett? And please don't text during the show If you think you can handle it So you're doing Southern Charm

What that looks like? What does that look like? Hmm? You know, just a lot of Magn magnolias and white flowers and... Steel magnolias. Natural light. Remember? And the frogs.

Interesting thing to build a wedding around, but... Yeah. What is that? Do you wise up? Do you remember? No, I... Macy, Cruz. Oh, oh, from... Melora, what's her remember? No. Macy. Cruz. Oh, from the other movie.

Melora. What's her name? Melora Harden. Riley. A young black child doing a rap about a prophet. If you recall. Sprawling cast. Hoffman.

Robards. Okay, and and now you say it's not a Magnolia not the movie? no it has nothing to do with the movie Henry Gibson okay what was some other Julianne Moore

okay so she's like what is that and then she's like and we did say Melora Hardin so it's not that we weren't saying women in the movie very familiar with the movie just thought

you might have thought I was doing a Magnolia themed wedding like a movie with movie right kid pisses himself on the quiz show

kid pees his pants that's gonna happen at the wedding I hope not you know no that's good then that you're not doing it so it's steal Magn it. So it's steel

magnolias and it's just... Because that's Southern. Yeah, it's not nobody... Hopefully nobody dies. Croaks, yeah. Almost don't want to say it. Well, um... Are the pistol shrimps going to be there? Yeah, a good amount of them.

Some couldn't make it. Yeah, which ones were no-goes for you? I invited everyone. Really? But some of them you made it for a date that you knew they couldn't do. No. Who's cashing in on that? What piece of the take do you get from that from all the license?

I mean, every individual player on the team is turning it into a pilot. Is that right? Yeah. And which which network do you get to do? I don't have a pilot for it. Oh, no. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Oh, Stephanie. Yeah. That is tragic. Is it because what? What happened? You made a shot in the wrong basket. Oh, Stephanie. That could happen to anyone.

So you gave a pilot to the other team? I wrote a pilot and handed it off. Oh, no. Who's going to have the pilot now? The Lucille Ballers or what? The Lucille Ballers are producing the Pistol Shrimps pilot. They got your pilot? No!

That really steams me up. That's sad. I want to see the Pistol Shrimps drama. Our drama. Okay. Oh, yeah. Right. That's what I would write. What is some dramatic stuff that happens that maybe we don't know about because we hear so much about the laughs?

Oh, Jesus. I'm not sure. No drama within you guys. Sometimes during the games, I personally am working on keeping my cool. Whoa. And this is juicy. She's trying to keep her cool during the games, Hayes. Yeah.

I mean, I imagine that would be pretty scary to see on TV. You would have to, I guess, water it down a little for network, certainly. The idea of someone trying to maintain her cool. A character like that sounds pretty unrelatable. Almost unhinged. Yeah, I can't root for that. I think that's relatable. I can't really root for that.

Also, why today for that also why today yeah why today we've got a big question about this which is why today and how do the characters know each other and for how long

yeah yeah I guess that's all that stuff you gotta figure out introduce everybody in the pilot unfortunately Stephanie that is storytelling

and that's a business I think that is fortunate, actually. I don't think it's unfortunate at all. I think it's very fortunate. Well, unfortunately for what she's describing. Now, have you written your vows yet? I've thought about them, but I haven't actually written them down. Okay, you want to crack into it right now? Right, I'm here.

Yeah. Well, maybe we just talk about like what's some like cool topic that's happened recently that maybe you could drop in and we'll work on a way to make it sort of about love

you like something that's happened in our life something in the news or something for you but hopefully something more relatable yeah let's look at Facebook trending

let's even see what's trending on Facebook um Beast of No Nation Beast of No Nation uh Yeah, let's look at Facebook trending. Let's even see what's trending on Facebook. Beasts of No Nation. Beasts of No Nation. Love is like a beast. Yeah.

No, no. What's next? The head of the Charles Regatta. It's like a rowing thing. And there's a river there, so that could be something. Love is a powerful current that's sweeping you away no matter how hard you row against it. You know, that's not really funny. What else, Hayes?

Let me see. Tom Hanks. Oh, he did something funny on Jimmy Fallon last night. Oh. Oh, yeah. So? What he did? Oh, what about this Lamar Odom thing?

What is that? Is there room for that? That could be good. He took like 17 herbal Viagras and wound up in a coma. He did? In a bunny ranch in Nevada.

Yeah. Because he's depressed because his child died of SIDS a while ago. And so, that's a funny thing to maybe like.

Well, you wrap it in. I mean, that's not inherently funny, but the way you reference it in the vows, and Steffi and I always do this with, I said, Love Shark, and some of the cool stuff we talk about is you sort of surprise them by how you drop it in. Right.

Yeah, like if you combine that with El Chapo somehow, that could be really funny. And this is just a quick example. Like this is just like off the top of my, and I don't have the wording for it, but something in the lines of, like, you make me hornier than Lamar Odom was. You know, because obviously that was his issue. I don't think I'd want to use the word horny.

I said I don't have the words. I said that. Or Viagra. No, no, no, you wouldn't say that. It's a rights no, no. You wouldn't say that. That's not what it was. It's a rights issue, yeah. Yeah, and it wasn't Viagra.

It was some herbal version of Viagra, and I used that because it's just a word we all know. Right. So let's start from the top. You start with a funny name. I see you're trying to segue into something else, but I want to keep talking about this. Get her name wrong or something. Yeah, just like with the funny, cute name that you guys call each other. Yeah. That would be like the first thing.

Isn't that kind of personal, though? It could be more personal than the union of two people for life. I mean, are you taking this seriously, Steph? I'm worried now. You know, just certain things I wouldn't want to share. You know, I would want to keep private. You don't want to talk about Lamar Odom. You don't want to talk about yourselves.

Who are we going to talk about at this wedding? Engineer Brett? I'm here. That's what he wants. When he does a crash, that's what he wants, is for people to just kind of be talking about him. Could be interesting to get the real wedding crashers there or i think actually andrew wilson owen's brother is now going around performing like as owen doing wedding crashing sort of an owen 2 yeah gallagher 2 in real? So that could be fun.

You guys are doing your vows and then the guys show up and are like stop. We're horny. You don't have to say it. You don't have to say it, but it seems like I don't know what the wedding crashers are going to do if they can't say horny.

That's kind of why they crashed the wedding, Stephanie. Did you take that away from that? Yeah, from that film? No, I didn't think of that. You didn't pick that up? Yeah. That's what they were looking for.

Dobkin's not going to want to hear that. Director David Dobkin. So, we're big foodies. What are we going to eat at this wedding? It's a lot of Southern food. Yeah, Paula Deen, yeah. No, nothing related to Paula Deen.

Just kind of traditional Southern dishes. I mean, I guess maybe she has, but yeah. That's about as closely related to Paula Deen as you can be. Yeah. So it's Southern dishes, But the kernel's not there Okay Does that sound good or It just seems like the wedding planner

Is having to do a lot of the Heavy lifting on this And sometimes The way you answer our question makes me think You don't want to talk about all the details of your wedding with us. No, no, I do. Will you tell us something?

Yeah, it's about being open and honest and making it weird on the show. And so the weirder, the better. I think that it's just having a different taste in weddings, maybe. I don't know. Just having a different taste in weddings, maybe? I don't know. Yeah, I wouldn't want to... I don't know if I'm going for humor. Okay, what's the funniest thing that will happen, though?

I mean, how would I know? I mean, you go into your wedding, do you know the funniest thing that's going to happen? I've got some lines with a couple check marks next to them that really killed in the dry run. I got a couple triple checkers in there. A lot of the weddings, a lot of people whose weddings got crashed by those guys

thought beforehand that they wouldn't want that to happen. But then, as their friends are getting nudely thrown onto the bed afterwards yes on the same bed it ends up in a you know pretty interesting place yes as they get boned out yeah um but that yeah that is always uh one of the cool things about weddings is they can be unpredictable. My sister went to a wedding where when the bride was coming down the aisle, somebody in a pew ahead of her realized she left something in her car and came out of the pew and said, excuse me to the bride and passed her on the side during the ceremony.

What was the thing in her car? I don't know. Wow. And she didn't go the other way. She didn't go out the other way. And she didn't wait for her to pass. That's pretty good. Something like that you're going to do? I would be pretty amused if that

happened to me. If I saw somebody coming at me. It's your special day. In that moment. You don't have to be that punk rock for us. No, I would think that was really funny.

Can I have the sound, please? It's already up. So this is going to be a special wedding-themed version of a song. This is just the normal one. Oh, yeah. It was supposed to be like, here comes the bride and the same work. Here comes the popcorn gallery, all dressed in butter, right?

So that song is about the popcorn gallery, and that's when we get questions from the audience for some of our guests and the audience is the popcorn gallery, do you understand? Yep. Why? Seemed pretty simple. Your guests are popcorn gallery. Yes.

Yes, our guests are popcorn gallery. I think you're the first person to actually get that. So, we've got the questions. So this question is from In The Bag. Oh, got to reach into the bag. Right. It's Magnolia. it's uh magnolia and so my friend mark from high school does these sound drops for us

and what he'll do is make the sound of digging around in a popcorn bag and then he'll pull something out of the popcorn bag that's sort of relevant to our guest or the show and that will represent the question. And then you'll get asked the actual question. Oh, okay. He, I think, has started to do these for a lot of other shows. Yes. And I think that is, it's almost as if he's taking this first opportunity that we gave him for granted.

I think that was the worst one. The worst one he's ever done? He's ever done. Some of them have been very low quality in the past, but they seem like he was genuinely making an effort. Yes. This one felt lazy. Didn't it seem like popcorn?

It didn't even sound like popcorn. I'll relay it to Mark. He's super busy, but I'll give him these notes. So here's a question from... I haven't read these yet, but here, just here's one that I'm seeing. Here's a question from Dev Scoots, and it's, Stephanie, how come your hair so nice? Like we said, this is a great show for women to be on. Our fans are very progressive, and they'll ask good female-specific questions.

Right, that's nice. Which is what you want. So how come? God, I guess it's the way that grows out of my head. Okay. And I use a leave-in conditioner. Mm-hmm. So...

Plug? Plug? Product plug? Oh. No. You're asking me if I wore plugs. Yeah, if you have hair plugs. Do you got plugs?

No. No hair plugs. Because you did say the way it grows out of your head. Well, I guess... If that is some special way, it seems like. I guess if your hair follicles are tighter, then you have thicker hair. Otherwise, it would be like a looser, straighter piece of hair. Okay. So, I hope I answered their question fully. Tell me why.

Let's get another question out of the bag. Oh, it's one of the Sklar brothers. Okay, now I think you're right because I think – That sounds like he was doing it for another show. Did that drop for somebody else's show? Yes. Oh, wow.

That really sounds like it was meant for another show. Yes. I will talk to him then. I think that's how they get introduced at the beginning of their show actually. He might have mixed up his files and – yeah well there is a question anyway and it's from robo tam and it says stephanie you were on an episode of the league did that guy ever show any signs that he hadn't really been involved in 9-11 i am interested in that too. Did he ever say anything that you were kind of like, huh?

Just in the way he was describing it. Because I'm sure he probably did describe it to you, like what was going on. It must have come up. I can't recall. I don't think he mentioned 9-11 that day. Well, that's also not something who was in it. That doesn't really check out.

That doesn't make sense. Right. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think so. Did he seem traumatized? No. He seemed like... Oh, that's crazy.

Whoa. In my conversations with him, he said... She's blowing the lid off it. That's crazy. In my conversations with him, he said it was messed up, which does check out. Oh, yeah, I agree. And so I actually wonder if he was there and was tired of getting too much attention for it instead of like a firefighter or something. And said that he wasn't there. And now was saying that he wasn't there or if it was so messed up that it actually blocked out his memory of being there yes that would be the most likely person to say like i wasn't there is someone trippy it was

someone who was actually there yo that's trippy. Think about that. The people who were there are the ones who think they weren't. Yeah. Ah, wow. Gosh, that's tripping me out. We got any more questions? Yes. We'll see if it's in the bag.

It's bee pollen. You made it weird. Okay, so that feels like our show. Yes, it does. Okay, this one's from Joe McGirl. Hello, Stephanie. It's Joe McGirl, your old friend from Bible Camp. My question is this.

What is one non-food item that you wish you could eat? A non-food item I wish I could eat? That you wish you could eat. And other than, I guess, your hair as well because we already talked about that. Actually, I think – well, this just reminded me of something. One of the grossest things I've ever seen was, like, you remember those, like, real world, or they were like, no, it wasn't real world. It was like MTV spring break shows

where, like, they were, like, down on the beach doing weird things. And they gave this, there was this girl with really long hair, and they gave her money if she would cut it, shave it off. And so they gave her money. She shaved off all of her hair. Then they put her hair in a bowl of butter, in melted butter, and balled it up.

And then they asked somebody if they would eat it for money. And then somebody chewed the butter hair. And I still think it's the grossest thing I've ever seen. Oh, my God. Oh, Dad. And this was the girl who got up in the wedding? No. Maybe. This wasn't her. Oh, dad. And this was the girl who got up in the wedding? No. Maybe.

This wasn't her. Oh, wow. And she got up at the wedding. Had her hair grown back yet? Maybe she left her hat in the car. That might be right. Or her butter or a wig. Wow.

Yeah, maybe that's what it was. One time a girl I went to high school with was on one of those shows. Imagine you're watching Spring Break and they're putting some bikini girl and making her into a giant burrito and you go like, wait a second, that's Shanna McKenna. Somebody asked a question that reminds me of a different question, Stephanie. You and Teg met on the set of In a World. Yes. Is that right?

Is that going to be tough to explain to people? Have you considered changing it to the set of a movie with more permanence, like Austin Powers or something? Yeah, where we'll feel like an unfinished sentence every time you say where you met. Yeah. Where we met in a world. Yeah. Because you have to explain what the movie, it just wasn't like a huge movie, you know? So you'll have to explain what it was about and stuff when you could say, like, we met

on the set of any of the Austin Powers movies. Literally, gold member, you could do, right? Spy who shagged me, that makes sense. Yeah. When did he lose his mojo? He lost his mojo in The Spy Who Shagged Me. Okay, so... I believe.

So what else am I thinking of? What do you mean, what else are you thinking of? What's the other Austin Powers? Gold member. Gold member, I say. Spy Who Shagged Me. Stephanie, you remember.

Oh, are you thinking How many are there? Oh, are you thinking of Austin Powers 1? International Man of Mystery? Yes. Is that the one you forgot? The first one? Yeah. The weakest of the series. I didn't even know who this guy was yet. So is that something to consider just for yourself?

I haven't considered that. And I haven't really run into that problem when I say it that people think now that's now now everyone's talking about it in the world but in you know

seven or eight years fifty years from now God willing you guys are still together praying for you do you think Austin Powers will hold up well how old is it right now

we're still talking about it. Literally every day it comes up. And you can't swing a cat in this town without hearing Shagadelic. And the time travel element. I mean, as we do get closer to using that technology, people start to consider maybe doing that for real, sending Austin Powers into the future for real well yeah something to think on but yeah probably not i don't like to lie he wasn't really sent into

the future though right i mean he got frozen until the future came about naturally then he got sent into the past um he did get remember stephanie i kind of don't remember i've seen them but they all blur together oh you were so so between well what were you on mushrooms or some shit no it's okay we can get that's the way you gotta watch austin powers that way is trip it up oh brother those scenes where they're all dancing and stuff. One pill makes you smaller. You know what I mean? Like, that's the way to fucking really get into what Mike Myers

is putting down. I guess between the two of us we know what the full movie, what the whole universe is because you seem to know a lot about the time travel element and I know about the first movie. Yeah, you remember the first one and then, yes, and I know the rest of the Powerverse.

Well, Stephanie, thanks for coming on the show. It was so good. Thanks for having me. What else do you want to say? You can come to Wild Horse horses show at UCB. Damn. We know. We can just walk.

I mean, we know a lot of people there. I'm actually able to walk in and I went to a show last night with no ticket and I got a seat. And so, um, you're also doing that podcast on howl. That's big bucks.

Yeah. We were talking about this a little bit before the show. Have you hired a new money manager? No. Because I find that the one I'm currently using is starting to be a little out of her depth. Yes, the stacks and stacks and stacks of Howl Mulu that is coming in is making, you know,

our current money woman uncomfortable. She's starting to hate money. Yes. It's ruining... It's become her enemy in a way because all of her stress comes from...

that she loved. Yeah, the Howl money is definitely changing lives. And are you questioning... I really, really hesitate to bring this up, Stephanie. And I'm really sorry to do it. But does it make you question Tig's motivations at all? Just based on like, oh, it's pretty convenient, like right around the time that.

It was actually very close to when we did our Howell contract. The deal gets closed and all of a sudden it's like, hey, this could be a permanent thing, right? Like maybe we split all our stuff up. It's like, uh, yeah, maybe. It's extremely suspicious. It's just timing wise it looks bad. And I wish, you know, because it's like, well, why didn't it come up before? You've been dating for a little

while. It's like all of a sudden Howell comes knocking and like so does the fucking ring show up. And it sounds like based on your description that this wedding is sort of like thrown together very quickly.

Yeah, from what I can tell. It's just like a food. We'll just have like southern food. Southern food. It sounds like it's literally the food you can get there

right where you are. You weren't able to get a spot on the banks of Old Muddy and so it's starting to feel like half the pistol shrimps aren't even going to be there. Like from everything you've told me it feels like a pretty fly-by-night affair.

Well, no. Okay. It's actually not. Okay. Refusing to even consider it. You're reminding me of another famous river now. Denial, baby. Bye. Denial, baby Bye that was a hate gun podcast