Hollywood Handbook - Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan, Our Tacoma FD Friends

Episode Date: September 21, 2021

The Boys welcome Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Tacoma FD to honor first responders. Watch the video of today's episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast so i'm laid back right smoking a bowl beautiful man what is it that feels so good about getting high on well. Well, so sorry. That's what I call it. That's what I call it when I put a bowl of beefaroni in the microwave and I hit nine four times instead of two

by accident. Everyone knows that the perfect beefaroni time is 99. Two nines. Double nine. That's beefaroni time. But sometimes It's two nines. Double nine. That's beefaroni time. But sometimes you hit nine twice and you say, did I do this already? I get distracted thinking about the problems of the world.

And so I'll say, did I hit nine already? Better do it again just in case. Hit the thing. Take a quick nap because I'm going to be woken up by the machine. Get a phone call, hear noise outside think i should hit nine on my phone in case i need to call 9-1-1 just so the nine's already in but accidentally press the microwave instead of the phone that's an extra nine another nine so now you've got some you've got a bunch of nines in the bank and by the way when i was saying when i was talking earlier about getting high on weed...

Is that what you were talking about? I was fucking with you. Oh, okay. Come on, man. Okay. You know that's not my scene. Because I did. So the beefaroni is like converting directly from a solid into a gas, basically.

So you're inhaling it. Yes. And so I start having one of these lucid dreams do you ever have steve and kevin you ever have one of these lucid get in here and just start we're not sure what i didn't know where to jump in in here bro uh so steve and kevin are here these guys fucking man they're steve lemme and you like to laugh anybody out there like to laugh steve led me and and kevin heffernan it's confusing because we caught we have a kevin yeah yes sir so this is why this is why this is why i'm setting this up now okay chef chef kevin hello Chef Kevin. Hello. Your name today is Bevan's.

Got it. Now we're good. And that's better than what I was going to do. I was going to try to make it closer and make him Kevin Shefferman. Okay. Okay. But that probably would have made more... Could have made for some rather comedic situations.

Sure. Where you guys were confused as to who was talking we probably could have ridden that out but we wouldn't have been communicating as effectively which really this podcast is about lucid dreams and communicating getting down to it but it remains to be seen if it's going to work this whole plan is going to work the bevins thing work yeah we don't know that could blow up in our face it probably won't the whole i hate to assume oh this will work just because i've seen hayes's plans go well but man i've seen the opposite but we'd already seen the original fail we don't have the counterfactual except the one failure where i said kevin and and kevin heffernan responded when i was trying to talk to bevins but now we won't have this at least we won't have that exact issue again i don't think wait a second no yeah we

can only regroup so wait kevin heffernan is supposed to call himself what chef oh i was gonna say i was gonna say kevin but we could have a different yeah should he not be kevin either is the easiest thing there's no kevins just so like nobody even out of reflex is responding to the name kevin have you guys ever had sean hayes on your podcast because that would screw you guys totally up wouldn't it wouldn't that's yeah that's why we haven't had that's why okay we've had plenty of opportunities believe the guy wants to do this show yes i feel bad for the kid sweet kid no he wants to do it he's looking for an opportunity yeah it could be really good but you know it's just not worth the headache for me wouldn't work i'm not changing my name and meanwhile we got another issue because the

clam dog is here and apparently steve calls himself the lamb dog i don't call myself the lamb dog right i'm called Lemdog by other people I never walk into a room and say hey what's up it's Lemdog here I don't call people up and be like hey what's up Lemdog but people call me Lemdog do I?

it's Lemdog no I never call myself Lemdog seems weird that it would just happen without any involvement from you Bevins back me up here, bro. Okay, so that's Bevins. Okay, so it works. We never got a new name for Kevin.

Yeah, do you have one, Sean? You're going to keep yours. You're holding on to it? Okay. Call him Queen. Why not? Call him Queen. Why not?

I'll hold my name. Cream, did you say? Queen. Cream. His nickname is Queen, but we can call him Cream. We can call him Cream. Why not? I'll hold my name. Cream, did you say? Queen. Cream. His nickname is Queen, but we can call him Cream. We can call him Cream. What up, Cream? Cream Heffernan.

Cream. Hey, guys, what's up? Cream Bevins. Lemdog Clemdog. I love it. I love it. You know what? Five minutes ago, if you had asked me if I thought this was going to come together like

this, I would have said no, a hard no. There's no way we're going to execute it. And people got to hear it, like they got to hear the magic develop. There's so many podcasts that would figure out like a name issue, what we're going to say to each other. They do it beforehand, right? Right.

But then you miss out on... Yeah, this is the sausage getting made here. And it's delicious. Cream. You know, you could call him the creme dog, too. Okay. Now that he's cream? The creme Cream. Delightful. You could call him Cremdog, too. Okay. Now that he's Cream? The Cremdog.

Cremdella, Cremdog. Look, he's saying, hey, Heffernan, hey, Cream, how about a little yes and, brother? Yes and, my man. Okay, good. Perfect. Sorry for interrupting, guys. We were talking about lucid dreams.

It's Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan. Super Troopers. Super Troopers. Tupers. Club Dread. at lucid dreams no it's Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan super troopers super troopers troopers club dread beer fest broken lizard two of the top four guys in broken lizard I'll take that and now Tacoma FD season three yeah appearing what Bevan's it when is this coming out uh Tuesday premiering Bevins? When is this coming out? Tuesday. So premiered last week. Last week.

Premiering last week. Yeah. But on every Thursday night. So moving forward. Streaming on. Premiere on Tuesday and then air on Thursday? Yes. That was your choice you're premiering on tuesday we're going on thursdays we premiered you're on last thursday the show was on thursday okay and it will be on thursday again but here's what you can here's as of this airing of this video podcast slash audio podcast, here's what you can do. You can watch seasons one and two of Tacoma FD on HBO Max,

and episode one of season three of Tacoma FD is probably running a lot on TruTV, and episode two of season three will be in two days. Can I watch it on the web portal? Yeah, you can. Yes. Okay, I'm going to be watching it on the web portal. Thanks.

You can do it. And you might want to say that. Some of us prefer to, just while we're like getting our work done doing emails and stuff like that we like to have another browser window just to separate browser to true tv.com commie central.com whatever it is some of us like to watch it on the web and i get that you know because part of me part of me is like you know what i don't like that because i want the focus i want the undivided attention you want the big screen experience i mean this is a lot like the dune debate that's going on yes true but on the other hand you wanted to come fd to only be available in theaters i did i did i do

but the other part of me doesn't give a shit the other part of me is like i just want the eyeballs i want them to fucking just rack it up on the register. Like, click over the fucking, what do they call that? The abacus? The cha-ching. We got it. That's a view. After five minutes, I got you.

I don't care anymore. And I'm getting, I'm piling up views on the web portal because it does not work. Okay. It doesn't work. I got to keep, I got to keep refreshing. I got to keep turning over. When I hit a commercial, that's like I'm hitting a bridge abutment

at 100 miles an hour. I'm done. And is that how you're gonna watch Dune? I'm gonna watch Dune on the web portal. I'm doing Dune the same way. I'm gonna watch it on Warner Brothers. I like my Timothee Chalamet on the small screen. You know what I'm saying? doing the same way i'm gonna watch it on warner brothers warnerbrothers.com yeah i like my uh i

like my timothy chalamet on the small screen you know what i'm saying yes yes i like to get i like to get close to chalamet okay i can take him with me yeah oh yeah i just want yeah i want to be able to just just pop drop him in my little shirt pocket there and then he's peeking out as we're traveling around i like i like chalamet on my chest i like to put my laptop on my chest yeah i like him a foot away from me and i want the battery so hot yeah no shirt on the fans burning my i can't hear him yeah and the edge of my the back edge of my laptop kind of cutting into my gut, which indicates to me that it's time to start getting back in shape.

And maybe every once in a while it might give you a little shock. You know what I mean? Sure. Your laptop. Just wake me up. I don't want to drift off to sleep when I miss some of the Chalamet. Right. So it's like give me that zap.

Let's me know, hey, wake up. The more Chalamet, the better. So it's like, give me that zap. Let's me know. Hey, wake up. The more shallow, the better. We want to celebrate Tacoma FD. Oh, yeah. Okay.

Season three. And what we're celebrating, both of them, they make you put both of them up. That's why I have two. That's why I have two. Not me. He only has one. You put one up and they said three.

But that's your framing. I assume, Steve, if you turn the laptop 90 degree, yes. Yes! This is why people pay for the video tier. Yes!

The Clep Dog, he sniffed it out the second poster just outside the frame that felt so wow crackle magazine i'm the crackle cover boy too i got a lot of photos of myself nearby um we're we're celebrating the show of course and the show itself Hayes I assume this is what you wanted to talk about is a celebration of and honors first responders yes and what better day to celebrate than September 16th

the day that we celebrate first responders that's right first responder day well if you combine that with Hispanic Heritage Month Hispanic firefighters are getting a lot of love right now just kicked off first responders that's right first responder day yeah well if you combine that with uh hispanic heritage month hispanic firefighters just a lot of love right now just today today come on yes and is going awesome so far it is i'm hispanic fellas you've got you are uh this episode of your podcast is actually a celebration of hispanic heritage month it's diverse now now It's diverse now. Now it's diverse. You've got some diversity. Okay. That

is huge for us. Kevin, throw it in the PowerPoint. At the end of the month, Kevin shows us a PowerPoint where he pats himself on the back for various achievements. Who is? Sorry, sorry. Bevins. Bevins does this.

You confused me. So the fact that on Hispanic Heritage Day, he scored us a diverse guest? Let me check the box. Well done, Bevins. Well done, Bevins. You've checked the box. He gets very into ethnic background

and stuff like that, like genealogy. He traces it pretty far. He also, I'm surprised what he considers to be diversity uh irish yeah well cream cream is irish does cream count kevin would say yes for sure i mean irish cream you mean bevan irish cream yep yeah oh i like that irish cream. Kevin digs in on that. Bevan? Dixon?

Yeah, sorry, man. I'm addicted to calling this guy by his name. It honestly feels like sabotage. But this is why it was nice that we established the cream alternative. Because now that Kevin is nobody. It has to prevent. That's sort of a safety valve. We could call if he's a creamy alternative,

we could call him Coffee Mate. If you want to keep changing his nickname we don't have no no no it's your whole month yeah you know what you guys are racist you guys are racists you have to take all my suggestions or you're racist true let's let's first responders they're important to us they play a significant role in all our lives uh and let's talk about like what makes them so great and what we'll celebrate them today first responders of course are the people who respond first when you post a tweet true and today we are honoring our first responders uh and cream and lemdog we're giving you the opportunity to celebrate some of yours to thank them individually and so obviously um their promotional social media posts that go out celebrating your show and your fans, the real fans, get in there and respond first.

And we'd like to just provide some space for you to reach out, talk to them. examples of first responders that that lem dog and coffee mate can now stop down and just say and you guys you'll make it your own but what you're gonna say probably is something like thank you thank you for this because these these brave men and women, mostly men, are running it. 97% men. The first ones? Yeah. Are running into the building before it's safe. Before anyone knows what they're getting into.

Yes. They're running towards the danger. Yes. Yeah. Uh-oh. What's up, bro? He's back. Hey, big boss. Get him on mic. You can't hear.

Oh, here. You know what? Listen to this. Come here. Listen to this. What are you eating? Beef jerky. Beef jerky. Wow. Damn. He's been in Tacoma FD. Okay. Star of Tacoma FD. Do you remember what part you played?

What part did you play? The Christmas. The Christmas. You played Christmas? That's a massive role. By the way, he drilled it. He drilled it. Are you going to be in the new movie? The Broken Lizard movie? Yeah. What are you going to do?

I want to play Snack-O-Tom. You want to play Snack-O-Tom. You want to play Snack-a-Tom? Okay. Wow, he's in training right now. Yeah, don't go too far away because we're connected here. All right, here we go. All right, so you going to go play some video games? Wait, wait, I want to hear.

So do you have lines? You have lines when you're in the show? What? Do you get to say words when you're on the show? Did you speak? Yeah. Do you remember what you said? Do you remember?

Antacom FD, you called me out. And that's a professional. He forgot his lines the moment after he said them. Yeah. Walk away. Oh, look at him. Are you going to drop the... Are you out? Drop the pod? Okay. Beef jerky is just regular we working with teriyaki what are we what do we got going on here what kind of beef

jerky are you eating freaking hot habanero slim jim say it again slim jim yes wow did you open it all by yourself american family did you open it all by yourself? Yeah. How could you open a Slim Jim by yourself? Big knife. Okay. Huge knife. What? What? All right.

Go. Go. Get out of here. So is that like featured background that he gets to? He had some lines in Tacoma FD. That's coffee. But listen, I i'm doing i'm working here he's out let me go turn the tv on for him what now he's good he just shut the door he's gone he's gonna go play video games uh anyway you guys were introducing us go on i've well i'm curious about the rate does he get like a day rate and that just like where does that

go in like a trust the uh yeah the coogan account my older son actually had some scripted lines this season in tacoma fd in episode uh six he's back he's like the drunk guy at the party that you that you're like oh god he's he's got to know about this thisogan money. He got paid $1,000 for two hours of work. And now it's in an account. He can't touch the racket. Pretty good. But dad can, right?

Yeah, baby. That's fun money, baby. That's already spent. A little slush fund. I'm taking that of him. Sloshed fund. Take that to the freaking pub man yeah baby come on you guys want some drinks tonight what are we doing yeah what are we getting into after this he goes i want drinks you go get yourself an a and w root beer i'm working wow see america the brains are americans aw root beer slim jim beef jerky by the way that's a road

trip top shelf yes you need uh aw root beer slim jim and a yoohoo for your neck and and some combos for your next road trip and your set okay and that's my go-to yeah you hit the a and w first because the yoo, that'll keep. You can save that for later. You're going to want the Yoo-Hoo to have a little time in the cup holder to kind of like get to that. It's better and more. I don't want to be controversial here and get off on the wrong foot, but what I do is I slam the Yoo-Hoo first.

All in one shot. Okay. You're the type of guy who eats dessert first am i right i will i will i don't see anything wrong with that i'll do i'll order uh i've done it before i'll order the brownie with ice cream for dinner okay whoa that's interesting because so usually you think of first responders as these are people who enforce the rules. But they're also crazy. And I'm the bad boy of Broken Lizard, right, Coffee Mate?

Yes. Yes, sir, Lundahl. There you go. I may have mentioned this on this show before, but once I got a Yoohoo can from a soda machine and I opened the top. Telling a story. Telling a soda machine. And I opened the top. Telling a story. Telling a story, buddy.

Okay, hold on. I'm in the middle of a story right now. You can tell him later. He'll love this. And I opened the Yoohoo can and the entire top comes off. And there's a t-shirt inside. What? And it was a t-shirt imprinted with a design by Ed Big Daddy Roth.

Really? The Rat Fink character. Yeah. They were doing a partnership with. And every once in a while, you thought you were getting a Yoohoo can. Where was this? It was like random, like a soda machine somewhere? It was a soda machine, yes, and Yoo-Hoo t-shirt.

That happened to me. Too late. Not telling the story again. Sorry, buddy. I know you just put the thing in. I can't tell it again. I'm sorry. I got an original Warhol in a Perrier once.

I can't find the root beer. Look at this. He's got a dick-shaped crazy straw here. Whoa, okay. It's very provocative crazy straw. I was going to share it with Bill. You were going to share an A&W root beer with me? Yeah.

Oh. Good bet. Okay. Solid bet. He comes in here with an A&W with that crazy straw sticking out yeah there's two crazy straws yeah what do you say oh these are the brass knuckles these are the brass knuckle uh crazy oh yeah oh yeah lights out it's fine i'm gonna use that when you okay i'm on dad duty you guys uh this is real life right here this this is the show. You're going to be your highest rated podcast.

This is the realest episode we've ever done. He's Hispanic, too. Okay, so perfect month to have him on. And Kevin, that's a separate slide for you. Who is that? That's Nope. Sorry, Bevan's. Hey, go play some Nintendo Switch.

Where's our Argo Root for you? I don't know. Okay, guys, I'm going to get him a root beer. Hang on a second. Talk amongst yourselves. Hold on. These kids. Oh, thank you for permission.

These Zoomers and their root beer. Is he like this at work? Yeah, this is work, I guess, man. I guess that's right. You wouldn't do this by choice. Yeah, and my kids have a strict don't walk into my office policy. Okay. Yeah. You know what I mean? Get a little of that. Yeah. Oh, wow. Karate job. choice yeah and my kids have i have a strict don't walk into my office policy okay yeah yeah oh wow karate job yeah right what is it with these zoomers and root beer

right when did that become is that a thing oh my god apparently zoomers they yeah they wear like their uh jelly bracelets and they they're all running around drinking root beer obsessed with the environment right he's freaking zoomers it's all this pc police right and then they're out there and they got their and then it's the ibc police as well they've got this bottled root beer that it's so precious to them yes it's artisan root beer yeah it's ridiculous yeah whatever happened that you want a root beer get yourself a barks yeah whatever happened to barks what happened to barks what happened to getting a little bite yes sure hey guys so kevin i bevins i introduced this segment easily 15 minutes ago yeah where are the where are the tweets where are the slides where are the first responders

where let's look okay here all right okay so bevans can you read and actually deliver on this because this is promo so let's read the promotional tweet and then we'll get into the first responders and then we'll thank them but when you read the promo please deliver because this is like sure this is their shows coming out this is from True TV on May 9th, 2018. Okay. Okay. Hot off the hashtag, Turner Upfront Presses,

scripted comedy, Tacoma FD, parentheses, working title, from the minds of at Steve and at Hef, I'm improvising a little, is officially coming to TruTV. Hashtag Upfronts 2018.

So I was at the 19 Upfronts. Okay. I saw you there. Legendary. It was Warner Media Upfronts that year. We shut the place down. We were there. We were there too.

Saw you. Saw you from across the room. Remember? For sure. Diplo was spinning the tunes there. Diplo, Conan presented. Harry Potter went up on stage. Didn't get to say anything yeah next to shack

shack calls him up yes shack picked up harry potter legendary up front legendary all right let's get into banking some of our first responders okay here's the first response response. This is from Craig. Craig says, sweet. Wow. Are we not allowed to say his handle? He's got a good handle. Yeah, I mean, this is promo for him, too. At Maverick1023. Yeah, man.

Let's personalize it. Let's go in the bio, please. Mouse over. This may be John McCain. It could have been back then yeah because 2018 right he's a maverick but yeah he's the only maverick i'm aware of yeah so as you're personalizing your thank you steelers lakers and a's fanatic love my wife and pups heavy metal enthusiast love a good joke i know you got that covered owner of some doge okay so this is definitely john mccain so so keep that in mind i would say to honor you know him and and his brave choice to first respond i guess you'd have to be a maverick to get in there first that's kind of what we were saying sure so you're saying that you want us to thank him no we want you to we want you to respond to

him in whatever way you know you're you're sort of the first responder responders and whatever feels right to you you know however i mean sweet that's i got you i get it now first responder i get it get it okay oh i would say it's pretty high level shit i would start by saying dear john mccain okay right we should start that way right you're gonna want to yeah it's a classic dear john there's a little joke i could do that dear john put mccain in parentheses so this is really putting it in parentheses that's funny as shit some of the funniest shit i've ever seen in my life but i would say let's not freelance too much bevins yeah like as we're as we're as we're going forward bevins i love that you tried this joke and that it landed

this shit actually is cracking me up killing me right now so i i like that one but in saying that i don't want you to now feel so emboldened that you're taking other huge swings like that yep but thanks for making my day i'm laughing really hard at this you're all bevins bevins you know what bro you have all the fucking power in the world right now so fuck off and walk you can turn his mic off if you want to bevins that's true you turn his mic off bevins this, Bevins. That's true. You can turn his mic off. Bevins, this is a pivotal moment for you. You know how you fuck with a bully? You punch him right in the fucking throat.

I got to say, this advice has major financial implications for him. It's like telling one of those polar bears that they show in global warming ads on a shrinking ice flow to walk. It's he's surrounded by nothing but ocean. Walk. Bevins. Are you going to take that fucking shit? All right.

That fucking shit. The parentheses are coming back. All right. There you go. Wow. Wow. Wow. I'm sorry.

I had to be here for this. And he, yeah. And he just got a hedgehog and it's really sad that the hedgehog is gonna be starving to death very soon all right maybe they'll parentheses are maybe maybe just put one in maybe maybe just put them around cane maybe leave mick out of. This is making me laugh. Okay, that looks good.

There you go. Okay. There you go. That's it. Okay. Dear John McCain, I will always be your goose. Yes. He's a maverick.

Do you see the cross references here? That's really good. Okay. Okay, where are we going with this? Dear John McCain, I will always be your goose. Thank you for your service, right? Should we say that? Awesome.

Yes. And then that's it, right? What else do you need? Let's go fuck up some Russians. Yes. Okay. All right. Yes.

Let's go fuck up some Russians.ians we're gonna get the russians yeah hey maybe we can uh leave straight from uh sarah palin's house oh yeah sure she could see she could see be there in a sec see russia and so that from her yard or of course yeah that of course she said that a long time ago but this guy posted this in 2018 so well and it's john mccain he remembers what sarah pale had said that i mean he was the one who gave her the platform yeah that's right but i'm sure he's like has a good sense of humor about it now so yeah uh okay in 2018 yeah i think we're good on this one we can move on.

Do we know what kind of followers Craig's got? Has he got a good following? What are we packing here, Craig? Let's see. I think it was 680. Wow! Okay, that's respectable. That's big numbers.

Now, when you just drop by and photobomb somebody like this. Nope, 79. Following 620. Following 620, no. I following 6 i say i say okay that's different okay who's who's uh whose twitter account is this coming from is this coming from your guys uh hollywood handbook uh twitter site this is actually a good a good point i this is coming from sort of our patreons, like Twitter account, might be a little confusing for him. Should it come from Kevin's personal? Maybe, well...

From Bevan's personal. Regardless, I think because we do want, obviously, John McCain to realize that it is the stars of Tacoma FD that are appreciating this, we may want to say, like, love Coffee Mate and the lem dog okay yeah coffee mate and lem dog is that a good cop show I don't know if I'd watch that show I don't think that's how that's how you spell it either Either of you. Yeah, I think that... Either of them. In fact, I think steal that E from Lemmy Dog.

I'll tell you how I predict it. Give it to Coffee Mate. Give it to Coffee Mate. Also, get rid of another M. Yeah. Dealer's choice. And I actually just go Dog. D-O-G.

Yeah, I actually think that's better as well. Okay. Yeah, that's Dog. You know, Dog didn't come about until well after I was think that's better as well. Really? Okay. Yeah, that's Dog. You know, Dog didn't come about until well after I was nicknamed Lemdog. Okay. Okay. Let's hit the big blue on that one.

Boom. Okay. Alright. Do you have another? This guy, General Whack, is writing to... Who's BQ Quinn? Let's see. Oh, that's Brian Quinn from Impractical Jokers.

From Impractical Jokers. Okay, saying, you have to find a way to either be in it or cameo. Now, did that happen? Or you guys didn't see this tweet, maybe? It did happen. First, I'd like to differentiate between be in it and cameo. Sure. He was in it.

I could trim General Whack. I could actually edit this in a way that's going to save him a few characters. Just say you have to find a way to be in it. And then cameo's covered. If he cameos, he's being in it.

Yeah. Now if he's talking series rag. Right. It might be what it it. Yeah. Now, if he's talking series reg. Right. It might be what it is. Yeah. Or it might just be a recur. Series reg or guest star. Yeah.

Sure, yeah. So he was in it. He was in it, yes. He did an episode, and he did not play himself. So you saw this tweet? This guy probably missed the boat. It had already been in the works. You already filmed it.

Are you worried? If you admit that you got that idea to have him be in it or cameo from this tweet, are you worried that... We can cut this. No. General Wack might sue us like financial implications yeah because like clearly none it's the idea that it's a coincidence

is insane there's absolutely that happen if they cast one of the impractical jokers in their show uh they're probably not afraid of anything they're not because what i would expect is that he's on set and he starts behaving pretty strange saying some things that maybe aren't even part of the script that's right you're going why is he behaving this way it's totally inappropriate for the situation but little do you know sal's telling him what to do yeah and laughing his ass off back there salad he's losing it yeah and mers and and joe and joe gatto with his blue eyes they're fucking going nuts back there behind Sal and... He's losing it. Yeah, and Murs, and Joe Gatto with his blue eyes. They're fucking going nuts back there behind

the NVIDIA village. Yeah. We actually are friends with Brian Quinn. We've known Brian Quinn since like, I don't know, like for 20 years. He used to work for Kevin Smith. I sat next to them at the 19 Upfronts. So what? There you go.

We all know him. Who cares? We all know him. Everybody knows Brian Quinn. Sure. He was a real firefighter on Staten Island. In fact, he gave me his belt, his real firefighter belt. On the TV show, I wear his real firefighter belt.

What do you think about that? Yeah, I'm wearing something of his as well what are you wearing yeah yeah hang on a second let me go check bevins bevins does uh does clem dog bevins does clem dog lie a lot no are you afraid of clem dog you see you seem afraid of Dog. No, I feel like I'm always in a supportive space. These are his. Those are Brian Quinn's? Those are Quinn's.

Hey, Bevins, who's scarier? Clem Dog or Purple Haze? Clem Dog on, Mike Haze off. Okay, that makes sense true that's probably true that's when i really especially right after a show that's what i really goes absolutely unload

yes hayes have you ever have you ever hit bevins in one of your uh rages no i mean you know i'll say this we were doing Zoom before we had to convert to Zoom before the pandemic. Oh, really? That's cool. We had to take it social distance. Sure, it couldn't be in the same room. Yeah.

More than six feet. So I didn't put him six feet underground. Right, right. Oh, nice. Dude, that's pretty nice. That's pretty nice. Yeah, that's pretty good. The six feet thing and six feet underground. That's pretty nice.

There's your safe space. I made that up. Dude, you should put that on a t-shirt. That's pretty nice. That's your safe space right there. Dude, now I see why you guys have such a popular podcast. That was like a... We're huge.

That means a lot to me to hear from you. No, no. Hey, come on. Seriously. You know when you're playing golf and you suck at golf but you get that one good fucking putt in the 18 holes that was that right there that's six feet social distance six feet under thing that's pretty close to that except yep you're uh out there uh just stroking big golf shots all day long and you're good at golf

and yeah okay okay this is okay here we go see there's tension uh not for me coffee my show i'm feeling great i feel awesome coffee mate coffee mate if i walk uh you gotta walk too bro okay no i'll probably i'll probably hang i'll probably say no how will we finish the show without your kid you're right i did i did curse i'm getting i'm getting ragged on because of you he's coming in to help he's coming in to clean up throw you out he's coming to bill he's listening outside the door and lemdog's like hey man if it feels like i'm floundering just like it was just a matter of grab some crazy straws or something some kind of prop just get in here bail me out it was just i get really nervous before a podcast

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And what are some of them? It's one big add-on, and it's you on your bed. You're so tired after you eat my meal. The promise is the meal makes us sleepy. You've been pushing that so much. You're saying that you will be added on to your bed. Yeah. Your bed plus one. That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do it's supposed to help you stay a lot of these i know

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okay so let's respond to general whack here let's get it on paper because I am worried about this becoming an issue. This would be like a cease and desist or something, right? Clearly stole his idea, yeah. Is he a first responder, General Whack, or is he a second responder? He's pretty high up there. He's a first responder to have tagged Brian Quinn. I see. Okay.

Okay. So I think that he started a new chain in effect. And I think that what this should be is effectively like an NDA that covers your ass. Like this is just an insurance post. And he might have maybe casual like, hey, just saw this. So weird.

Yeah, so whack. Yes. Right? I mean, you gotta say so whack. He's gonna like that too yeah yeah say by the way it's spelled and then in quotes general with a g that's nice uh thank you for your service gotta get that in there that seems nice this could be a trademark of the yeah again yep i mean we may want to say let's go fuck up some Russians there's no reason to let all the good stuff

from the first one just disappear you know if you got a play that works keep running it what about let's go whack some Russians or is that too much no no no that's actually that's a threat oh right

legally we may be exposing ourself to a new issue because we post this russian guys how about how about let's go whack off some russians okay yeah that's not that's better it's kind of friendly okay okay that is yeah that's like nice yeah you won't have putin knocking on your front door for that one yeah you won't have putin knocking on your front door for that one whack up do we do we do we split the difference right nobody knows what the fuck it means so you can't get in trouble for it then then we're golden yes uh okay so let's let's tap it boom bingo should we move over to to their responses to the first one and the first responders to the...

Okay, so we hit the quote tweet. Steve is hitting the quote tweet on the 2018 post and saying, Kevin, and please do justice to Steve's tone. Yep. Tacoma FD is coming your way real soon nice very good reading oh i see okay got it yep okay and we're you can't write this stuff folks yeah so good jc wilder had to one up john mccain who had written sweet and writes so wheat right right yeah do we just do a quick get in there let's hit the bio can i see jc water's bio just so okay author artist opinionated bon vivant so we got to bring it on this one descendant of hamilton wow okay ptsd is my superpower okay

all right and then you go hey 926 followers not bad but you do want to check the ratio there yeah you got a one-to-one you got a one-to-one really yeah he might he he or she might follow back i follow back yeah uh so we just just do a quick maybe thank you for your service. Yeah. Thank you for your service. Please get on the plane first next time you fly. And take a walk on the wilder side. Yes.

Great, great. Let's grab a three martini lunch sometime. Because of the emoji, the martini emoji. Yes. We're getting very personal. This is like, that's these personal details that really make these thank yous great. Awesome. I mean, do we want to do anything with what's the JC stand for?

Jesus Christ. Just kidding. Just kidding. Just kidding. What's the JC stand for? Just kidding. That's good. I like that. Should I do CID?

Yeah. Yeah, you have to. I'll correct it for you. An auto-correct. Yeah. Just sitting. Okay. This is great. This is a great for you. It auto-corrected. Yeah. Just sitting. Okay. This is great.

This is a great thank you. We thanked JC. Let's hit that one. Move on. We got to get through. Ship it. We got to get through a bunch of these. Okay.

And we just have this one. Kevin is activating short retweet mode. Yeah. And he is just saying hello to I guess to the you're like discovering this piece of promotional information you're saying

that's all Heffernan does he gives the least amount of fucking social interaction he can give hello like insanely efficient so you're getting an email demanding that you quote tweet this yeah you're you're just typing hello as the quote tweet and they're cool with that or are they following up um they're totally cool with that they love them you know they're cool with that or are they following up um they're totally cool with that they love them you know they're happy to this this season in the uh and the marketing the tacoma fd season

three marketing meeting they they went out of their way to shame him for how shitty like they put up the stats and who was the best that was me and then who was in last place? He didn't even have an Instagram account. He's been on Instagram. He's so mercenary about it. He's been on Instagram for three days now. Three days. Three days. And all he does is plug.

It's all business for him. There's never like, hey. What do you want me to do? This is what I had for lunch. Is that what I'm supposed to do? Yeah. Take a photo of your fucking cappuccino. You take a photo and you put it up there. feet on the beach or something like that that's the

you know just something to make it i'm still learning still learning john the latest john grisham open in your lap right yeah okay your feet spread out yes i get life open corona bottle with a twist of wine yeah i can see on your phone you're listening to a Jack Johnson album. Oh, you nailed it. You nailed it, bro. Clemdog. Hashtag Paradise City. And the full legs.

The full legs. All the legs. I can see your legs. And if you're wearing shorts, they must be really short because that's a whole lot of leg in the frame. Yeah, thigh. Maybe a little thigh. Yes, the entire.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. I'm with you. General, okay. General Wack does not miss. Did you respond? Oh, no.

He's got the first two there. Look at that. Thank Jesus, Twitty. Okay. Okay, so General Wack is our first responder in this case. He's got the first two there. Look at that. Thank Jesus Twitty. Okay. General Whack is our first responder in this case. General Whack posts, thank Jesus Twitty fucking Christ.

And then responded, Duck first responded to himself. Duck, I misspelled Titty due to autocorrect. And he misspelled Duck too. He misspelled Duck. There's a lot wrong and he still misspelled general. He still hasn't figured that out. It's all very whack to me.

Are we seeing this, that Twitter is, just for innocent posters who are just trying to say titty, they are converting their words to make them sound more like Twitter and make them say Twitty. Well, we should test it out, shouldn't we? I mean, shouldn't Bevins type Titty and see what happens? Let's see. Let's just, yeah. Can you just type Titty, please? Oh, Witty.

Oh, and it changed to Witty. Okay. Telling. Wow. Can you just type Titty one more time? Maybe try capitalizing it. Capitalized titty.

Don't change. Oh, you got it. You nailed it. You got to show the proper respect. So Kevin has typed that enough times with a capital T.

Yeah. His computer has learned it. It's in the system now. Like we're not correcting that one anymore.

Okay. So maybe just for him, in response to Duck, I misspelled Titty due to autocorrect. Hey, really sorry that happened to you. Hope. I think, oh. Yeah, no, go ahead. I was going to say, I think we're done.

Yeah, okay. That feels strong. That feels good. Especially it's under Kevin's post, which was basically like, here, I did it. Checked this off. Yeah, right. It's true.

Yeah. Okay. I mean, frankly, people will know that Kevin didn't write that. And now another Kevin is racing into the building here. Oh, this is a friend of mine. This is a friend of ours. Let me know. Okay, this is a new Kevin.

Is that a better friend than you? Oh, this is a friend of mine. This is a friend of ours. Let me know. Okay, this is a new Kevin. He's a better friend than you. He is actually a distant relative of mine, and he is the interviewer for Yahoo Entertainment. You don't want to run afoul of them, guys. That's why he's got a checkmark by his name. Wow. Okay, and he writes,

Yes! Congrats, Kev! Which could be about you. Could be about him for his for his response could be about bev could be about bev it could be about bevans might be about bevans yeah no i was gonna say the name looked familiar it's probably from when he interviewed me for yahoo entertainment it's probably why yeah yeah now i remember. You probably know. Yes. Yeah. Friend of mine. What was that for? Do you remember what that was?

What the project was? It was a traffic accident that I witnessed. But it had been captured on an iPhone. So, yeah. Quick interview, really, just fact-based not a lot of room to freelance i tried to get some of my stuff in there but you're plugging kevin you got a good plug yeah no absolutely absolutely no i got him he'll be listening to this i'll tell you what i'm sure he got hooked on the pot after yeah because i did i shouted out haze a couple times and you know i'm always trying to lift up my buds well we've celebrated a lot of first responders today boy have we ever there you go man that's

great is there is there anything you guys want to want to plug have you witnessed any traffic accident you see a bike running to the back of a semi or anything like that? I want to talk about lucid dreaming. We were talking about lucid dreaming right off the bat. Yes, get into it. The craziest lucid dream you ever had. Boy. Oh, well, you know that, Lemmy.

I know Lemmy's. Do we want to hear Coffee Mate say what yeah coffee mate what his friend's famous lucid dream was yeah coffee mate uh it it was sex with reba mcintyre yeah yeah and i um you know i like to me it's like uh if you have sex with somebody in a dream like think about sex in real life you You have sex and then it's over. And then where does it exist? When you're telling Hayes, when you're telling Clem dog about the sex you had last night,

where does it exist? It's in your mind. It's in your memory. That's the sex. And that's the majority of the time. Your sex. Some of it's on the wall, but fair enough.

Fine. But you still remember putting it there, right? Yeah. Actually, no. Okay. remember putting it there right uh yeah what actually no okay september 16th was the day wait it was the day it was the day was september 16th wasn't it so you know september 23rd also that's a good day too september 23rd, also, that's a good day, too, September 23rd. Yep.

Also First Responder Day. Oh, that's also, okay, wow, great. And that's episode two. Do they have to have seen the first one? Like, what are we, how serialized is it? No, but I'll tell you this. It's not, but I'll tell you this. In the first one, Lemmy does have lucid dream sex with Reba McEntire. And I'm not kidding around.

Okay. Noticing a trend where you steal content from... You stole it from General Whack when he suggested that that guy be on the show. Hey, bro. That's what you have to do. That's what you have to do. Good luck in Hollywood if you don't steal from everybody. Good luck.

So you're going to go film this. Yeah, we stole from General Whack. We stole. So what? Fuck it. Wow. Okay. Steal from this podcast, too.

What are we going to do? What are we going to do, Cream? I'm going to call myself Bevins. Let's do an episode about we're doing tweets and tweets, first responder tweets. Let's do that. Let's write that into the episode. Let me write that down. And then I'm going to get a fucking root beer.

Get a good root beer. Bring my fucking kid on. All right. Well, we the list. Let me write that down. And then I'm going to get a fucking root beer. Get a good root beer. Bring my fucking kid on. Alright. We'll walk. We're going to walk. My kid's going to flip off. I'm walking. It's my show. I'm going to walk. Bye. Goodbye. Bye. This week on the Patreon, Carl and Hasan discuss tempting your ego.

Carl also helps Bang make a country song on Hollywood Masterclass and the flagrant ones are mostly talking all things basketball. Check out these bonus podcasts and videos of the full episodes, including today's with Steve and Kevin, at patreon.com slash theflagrantones. Hollywood Handbook. That was a Hate Gum podcast.