Hollywood Handbook - The Boys on StraightioLab: "Talking About Something You Almost Did"

Episode Date: October 2, 2026

Enjoy this episode of Sean and Hayes on past guests George Civeris and Sam Taggart's podcast StraightioLab! Get a Hat Pack Hat here! Check out Sean and Hayes’s bonus shows at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Listen and watch on the iHeartRadio App!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Listen to Dirty Rush on the IHRRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Podcasts starts now. This is George. I'm a little shaken because I just got some really intense news, which is that it seems like I'm going to be in Sacramento on September 30th, San Francisco on October 1st, Toronto, October 10th, and Seattle, October 20th. and I just wanted you guys to hear it from me. Please let me know if you have any questions. I know it's a lot to process, but once again, I am going to be doing stand-up comedy in Sacramento, California, September 30th, San Francisco, October 1st, Toronto, October 10th, Seattle, October 21st. And I mean, not to add to the information, but I am also hearing that tickets for DC in December will also be available soon.

And once again, I hope everyone is sitting down and is in a place where they can receive this safely. So that's it. That's what I wanted to say. And again, I'm really sending love to everyone that is implicated. And please enjoy the episode. Podcast Arts Now, what is up, everyone? You're listening to Stradio Lab. And it's an extremely special episode.

It really is. because we are joined by now our brothers in IHeart. IHeart Network brothers. Yes. Yeah. And I think we should just like literally bring them in because there's so much to talk about. That's true. Including your family feud appearance.

That's true. Celebrity family food. Sorry. Celebrity family feud appearance. I was of course part of the family. Celebrity family feud. I'm part of a celebrity family. Not the celebrity.

Right. I was not billed as a. celebrity for the app. No. Um, what are your guys names again? So you want to go first? I'll go first. So he'll go first. Yeah. I'm Hayes. Hayes Davenport is my interesting. Great name. Is that Italian? Kennedy Davenport family. I it's not Italian house of Davenport. House of Davenport is a drag queen. Is that is that true? So you know, when we're saying, oh, your house of Davenport or making kind of a, the, This is the show.

The crux of that joke is like, you're like a straight guy. Yeah. What if you were in a drag family with Kennedy Davenport? Yeah. I am curious. I don't know if you talked about the Hulu deal on this yet. I don't know if we're on Hulu right now. I think this episode will be on Hulu.

You think it will? Yes. Because I ran into Sam. Sam and I go to the same gym. I guess we call it a gym, right? It's a work. It's a club. of he wore the gym work for you.

I just want to say too when I said you go first, I didn't mean forever. No, I mean like I felt it would anchor you for when you introduce yourself to know if you're introducing yourself on Hulu. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's actually,

that's very kind. Or on Patreon. Like I don't know, you know, like yeah, that's tough. But you go to the same gym. We go to the same gym.

Yeah. And I'm talking to Sam. Like we're talking about everything. He's disparaging the network. broadly. The network meaning Hulu or I-Hart? I would never disparate Hurt. I would never disparage Hurt. Because I don't know about the Hulu deal yet

because he doesn't tell me. No, I wait to find out from the news the next day because he did not mention in a long conversation about all things I-Hart. We did unpack sort of everything. To be nice, yeah, but I don't want to be rude to our hosts, obviously.

Hayes said there was a lot of stuff in the conversation he could have done without. And the Hulu stuff actually would have been really fruitful. I'm saying it was deliberately withheld for me. Yeah, Sam was kind of, he made a conscious decision. What else? What else? Yeah. Wow. Yes. He wanted you to feel stung.

I'm doing legs today. Fuck. We did get to, it wasn't like he was lifting. I was lifting. So this is really interesting. And I'm glad you called me out for this. Because, you know, I wasn't trying to keep it from you. I just wasn't sure.

You don't want to feel like you're bragged. I'm new to Hollywood. Our podcast being on Hulu, it's like, is that a big deal? It's complicated. I mean, there's obviously a power dynamic where. Is it a special? I sorry, I don't know what's good. I know you guys.

I just want to talk about your success. You know, you're doing all this journalistic stuff. And I was literally you're on top of mind because I was listening to the culture Gab Fest and you're working with Julia. And I was saying, oh my gosh, he's a journalist for crying out loud. And I just want to see you guys like, congrats. Because we just heard you're available on Apple Podcasts now, audio only. Is that true?

Audio is on Apple Podcasts. His track is. Yeah. And it's like, you have to pay extra for both tracks. It doesn't come up when you search the name of the show. Like, it's one of those weird thing where like it doesn't find it. You have to like kind of scroll alphabetically into. Mine's on Apple News because I'm doing journalism stuff.

Journalism. So my track, if you subscribe to Town and Country Magazine, you get my. It's that's just your track while you read Town and Country magazine. You guys should do release them together for a Patreon. subscriber so you should do Apple news hayes Apple podcast Sean and then Patreon only you could a hundred a dollar in a day our producer Kevin says that that's like not possible the technology is not there to really have it all well it's so you can do it with AI now so that's what's so exciting about I know it's really cool is it's an exciting

making life easier all of it matters but are people mad about AI because then they would have to listen to both of us talk well I just want to say like I only use use AI for like creative work like writing. Yeah, I don't use it for errands or anything or you know searching something, Googling something of that I can do it. I don't have it do the writing for me. I just have it give me the idea of what to write and who will be in the scenes. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Yes. Who will write it, who will be in the and then often also the dialogue. Yeah. Well, what are they going to say? You know, I want to know that. Well, that's hard. Maybe where it takes place.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I can write. can write, so I write it myself. What I can't do is make the entire movie. And so then I just put it in there, I say, can you just make this into a movie? Yeah, that looks like the same. I can't make it look incredible. Yeah.

I'll introduce myself. And I actually, after some of the House of Davenport stuff, I can't wait to see what you do with my name. I know, we're going to try to riff on your name. Yeah, let me think. Let me think. Field day. And I'm ready for the firing squad. My name is Sean Clements.

Oh, that's a cool name. Mark Twain's stepson, like, you know, like something like, like Mark Twain's stepson? Well, Samuel Clements was. Oh, sorry, we don't know about stuff like that. They don't ask it on Family Feud, you know, that's not that kind of game show. That's not the kind of prep you would do. I just want to say you walked in, you said, have you talked about Family Feud yet? Like, should we talk about you being on Family Feud?

And then I said, yeah, I mean, you know, we lost to Steve Aoki. And you were like, how the fuck would I know that? Yeah, that's true. Well, the way what you actually said was, you know we lost to Steve Aoki. Well, I thought that's why you know. Yeah. No, I didn't know that. Information's complicated.

I want to say one thing. I knew that you were on family feud. Yes. Celebrity family feud. Yeah. Celebrity family. I just think we were getting very casual. Yeah.

As the family. As I was Joel Kimbooster's chosen family. And we lost to Steve Aoki's biological family. So, Devin, you've ever. Devin was not. not there. And I was really upset because when I heard it with Stevieoak's family, I was like Devon

Aoki from Fast and Furious. Yeah. And instead it was like some loser who's like a doctor. Hmm. That sucks. That sucks. That sucks. But of course they did beat us.

I do want to say one of the questions was, who is the greatest male vocalist of all time? And of course you're guessing what people have said. Yeah. It's not like the right answer. We kept guessing we're like trying to get into the mind of middle America. We're like, Bruce Springsteen,

Palm McCroney, whatever. One of the answers was jelly roll. How would your mind even go there? Would you have gotten that? Like, I thought we were so proud of ourselves for being like, yes, we're coastal elites, but we're not saying, you know, Sam Smith, like we're trying to find the right kind of guy.

And we still couldn't get to jelly roll. Perfect version is you say that trying to score, like trying to get a clip, you know, trying to get Steve is hosting. Steve is hosting, yes, trying to get Steve to like make the face be like, okay, we'll see if that's one. And then it actually is one, but you win coming to go. To jokingly say jelly roll.

They had that score point. Yeah, that's kind of the dream. Wow. And then jelly roll walks out. Yeah, yeah, he jelly roll walks out. He gets down on one knee. He proposes. Yeah. Oh my God.

You marry jelly roll live on celebrity family feud. Come on. That clip would go viral. And then it's like middle America, suddenly more comfortable with an LGBT K-plus. They say, well, now that's just a joke. I mean, on the jelly roll. It's good enough for my son.

Yeah. Yeah, that would be amazing. Me and jelly roll are having penetrative sex on stage on the celebrity. Steve's making a face. Steve's going. Oh, right. Yeah, that'd be cool. Hang on.

So I want to know emotionally what it was like when you found out about the Hulu deal. Yeah. We had a really long conversation about it the other day. He was shook up. on our podcast with O'Shea Jackson Jr. Yeah, okay. And he came in and he just like, he could see something was going on.

Yeah, you know, so he said, we'll get promoting my movie. You walked in and said, you know, we've been talking about you guys a lot. I was thinking, oh, good things I hope. Of course. Turns out it was kind of with an animosity. The whole episode ended up being about explaining you guys to O'Shea Jackson Jr.

I cannot believe this. Yes. And he did basically say that Ice Cube was gonna kick your ass. Yeah, he did. Oh no. Because Ice Cube is his father, correct? Ice Cube is his father. Yes, which he's very open about it.

He brings it up. Yeah, it would be crazy. Bring it off hiding. It's not hiding it. That's good. No, which is cool. That's really cool these days. And we did tell him that you guys call yourself Stradio Lab out of Compton

and that you say that you came up with that first. Yeah, that you invented that. We invented saying something out of comp. Well, something straight out of comp. But you invented it as straight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We and you, whereas you guys invented keep common handbook on.

We did. Yeah, and then Chive. That's awesome. Chive took that from us and then England took it from Chive. Oh, wow. A lot of England is based on I-Hard properties. Ultimately, yeah, if not directly, yes. Do you guys get to meet the Jonas brothers as part of this deal?

Oh my God. Is there an upfront for everybody? You know, you guys have everything. You guys have everything. We can't have one Hulu deal. I got to watch promo for the drink over and over again. The idea that we're hiding. You don't have to watch it.

You don't have to work. You guys. You guys have everything. The idea that we are hiding our career successes where every single time I'm even in an email thread about Hollywood handbook is Sean is starting a new writer's room next week. Oh, Sean is actually starting a new writer's room. That's after his first writer's room.

And it starts at 7 p.m. because it's in Europe. I don't know. I don't think that that is the same thing. I'm not hiding it from you. I do. And the partner putting it in your face. Well, I don't know what you're writing for. Yeah, what are you writing for?

The partner at home, I just wanted to say, gets to participate in that success. Because the work that I do at home on the podcast. Nothing happens in a vacuum. Allows him to go out and bring the success back to this family. And then I bring, and then there's guests coming in onto the show. They were in the movie. Or they were part of the show, you know. You guys should have Devon Aoki on and ask her why she didn't want to participate in Celebrity Family Feud.

Is it because there is a non-televised Celebrity Family feud between the rest of the Aoki's and Devin? I don't know if it has to do. I mean, like, the Rocky had the restaurant. Like, who has the restaurant now? Well, one, yes, thank you for asking. One of the other siblings that was present is taking over the family business and also has like some other kind of restaurant. Because you know Steve Ayoki's dad is Benihana. I am just now learning this.

That's not his name. You know, right? I mean, you know again. You know this thing you don't know, right? Did you know? Did you know? I don't know. You didn't know that Steve Ayoki's family is the Benihana dynasty.

Let me just be clear before we proceed. I know almost nothing. See, the thing is... I don't think that's true. I thought I knew a lot, and I'm learning. I know almost nothing. His name is Rocky. Embrace it.

What's his name? Rocky. Who was? I believe he's past on. I believe he's passed on. To know the actual name. Now it's crazy that I know something. Was Rocky.

So that's funny. I wish he was more up front about it, much like Ice Cube's child. Because Steve Ayoki has been hiding his identity this whole time. Oh, see, it's funny because to me, it's like one of the five main facts I know. is that Steve Aoki is the Benihoffey. Throw the top five facts. TROs the big cake for sure. That's a big, that's a big, that's a part of his show is that he hucks a cake into the, end of the crap.

Long hair. Yeah. Long hair for sure. That's one of the top five facts. Yeah. It's like, why do we know Steve Aoki? DJ? Don't you, yes, but like you were born knowing we was?

Yeah, I don't know, a single one of his songs. Has he, does he have a song? Or does he just, is a really good question? It's literally like, you're killing it. Not all DJs. have to have songs. No, some of them are just playing other people's songs. That's valid. I wonder if he's like a credited producer on a song that we know, but we don't know it as a Steve Aoki song. Sure, sure, sure. Because that happens sometimes. No, that's true. Fuck that.

I thought you were going to. I was about to. Yeah, I'm ready. But then I decided that it wasn't him. I was about to say a DJ collaboration that I had heard of. Yeah. I'm going to say, was that Steve Aoki? No, I don't think it was. I just don't think that it was. Okay. Well, if he doesn't want to, he doesn't have to. This is our show. My protector.

My protector. That it fooled me. So, Hayes, you decided to, after Sean took all the writing jobs, you decided to leave Hollywood to go to a much more stable lucrative industry, which is digital journalism. Local. Local. LA News. L.A. New.

Because that's like, oh, I wasn't even trying to. to do TV shows. Oh, you want to do TV shows? Oh, I have another dream, actually. Oh, you're still watching TV shows? Yeah, I don't do that anymore. Yeah, but I support you. I go to restaurants and write about them.

That's not what I do. Are you the food critic? We don't have a food vertical at this time because we don't have capacity for that. This thing is packed. What is the... It's busting at the seams. The LA material, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. World. We have a new podcast. Yeah, that's right. With Julia Turner from Slate Culture Gab Fest.

And Antonio Sadiehito from LAists in Perfect Paradise. A little bit of a super group. The traveling willberries of journalism. How are you finding the going back and forth between the persona of just sort of rancid, bad, guy one day and kind of like. Is that what you think are? And kind of just sort of like, you know, like, oh, computer cuck on the other day.

Yeah. How's that going? Um, none of it is going well. Totally. Uh-huh. It's all, I mean, you see, you know, like, well, this is going well, we're on Hulu. But I'm not asking about you. No, this is going. No, you are.

And I guess we are right now. We are currently on Hulu. But then we have to go do another show tomorrow in the next day and the next day in the same building and it's not odd hoom and this is your chance like you use this time a bit of an audition yeah like you could be yeah who said they have like one more spot that they actually were waiting to see if anyone made a splash yeah and they're looking for male talent yeah they're looking for male talent but do you guys do any kind of like rewatch like do you have you thought of potentially making your podcast into like a OC rewatch podcast we did do one episode early on

We watched a single episode of Nip Tuck from the middle of the run that neither was had ever seen. Oh, that's like a rewatch podcast. And a lot of it was just us watching it. Just us watching and like catching up a little bit. We forgot to talk about it. Do you remember? Oh, you were just watching it live and then occasionally going. Oh.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Cool. Yeah. And we hadn't seen the beginning of it. And it was like a mid-run episode. Yeah, it was like season four episode seven or something. Oh, that's a great episode.

Okay. So you're, I didn't know I was in the presence of a. No, the only. episode have you ever watched and thank you that's weird i was sure you were gonna go niphead niphead i was sure tuck everlasting oh okay that's the the blog i have where i'm kind of right about right like an LGBTQ plus critique of each of the episodes of nip-tuk yeah oh um did you know that there's an episode where joan rivers plays herself and goes in to get plastic surgery i think i did know that i think i've seen maybe screen does she and like she gets cut she got right

That's what the show was. Literally. People's face is getting cut off. Are you guys, if you were to go on Family Feud, would you rather be the celebrity or the family? Oh, it's an easy one for me. I would want to be the celebrity. I would do, because that would mean that I...

It would mean something very good has happened to me. That's exactly what I was going to do. No, if suddenly I woke up and I was the celebrity on Celebrity Family Feud, I'm going to like that life. But to be fair, if you're the Celebrity on Celebrity Family Feud, aren't you sort of in a space of being like, where am I? What am I doing? You know, you're not in a feature film.

You're at Celebrity Family Feud. Yeah, but you know what? The biggest A-List celebrities do it. It's not like something that denotes that you're B-list or something. I mean, Steve Aoki doesn't even have a song. The cast... That's true.

Literally the cast of the housemaid did it as a family. I know because I watched it to prep. The cast of the housemaid? Amanda Seifred. Sidney Sweeney. Nah. All fig.

They got Sid. When we had Paul on the show, we watched the house made early. We got a little screener sent to us. Did you review it for your show? Did you review the house made for LA material? We talked to Paul, but we talked to him with context. They really, really wanted us to watch it. That was.

We had to watch it. Now that he's not here. What did you really think? Yeah, what did you think? You know, it was exactly what it should be. I love that. Not trying to be anything that it isn't. It's at I am the house maid.

It's about... And I am a movie. Yeah. It was the perfect version of what it was. Wouldn't change a thing. And I left a happy customer. Well, you didn't buy it. It was a screener, but...

Yeah, it's easy to be a happy customer. That was part of my pleasure. It was worth exactly zero dollars. Mm-hmm. Later, my wife learned that there was a very steamy sex scene in the film, and she was like, why didn't you mention this to me? And I thought, that would have been strange for me to go. So I watched this movie alone late at night for work, and there was nudity at sex in it. I didn't think I had to bring it up.

I did. I mean, obviously, we have different relationships. I did mention it. Yeah. Well, you're, you're right. From now what I will. You have a marriage rooted in honesty and trust. You have a second.

It was like that. If you have one second, I'll just like get this out of the way. I mean, and she's like, I'm working. Can you hang up the phone please? I wrote it down.

Yeah. Do you not, if you're, whenever you get free, if you're watching it and you get a sense. And I'm over here, we can talk about it. You get a sense that things are about to get steamy.

Do you not, I mean, I guess I do that. I guess I should pause it and call her. Paise and call and say, hey. Or even FaceTime and go, let's see this part together.

Yeah. Just FYI, I'm about to watch something kind of bad. If she was asleep, it might have been strange to call her, but maybe I should have just said, maybe I should have emailed Paul Fique and said, I'm very sorry. Yeah. I have to cancel.

I would send an email connecting him to your wife, say, hey, nice to e-meet you, Paul. Here's my wife. If you don't mind, I don't want the movie spoiled for me, but if you don't mind explaining to her what is about to happen in this scene, I'm in a 26. You could upload the shot list.

Upload the shot list to her. And maybe say why it's narratively important to have this scene. Mm-hmm. Because right now, I just think it's smut. Yeah, yes. And I'm not sure he would be able to justify it. No. That's his choice. Yes. In the studios, of course. I mean, look, we are ultimately we're all employees, aren't we? Yeah, of Hulu, us personally, not you guys. You guys are going to get a, I'm more sure as a show. Yeah. We still don't know what the show is.

I didn't know they had a TV division. Yeah. Um, but I'm I'm really enjoying other podcasts that are on it, like handsome. So, hey, this is interesting. I'm noticing a dynamic. Oh. Where it's, you know, Sean's out there doing TV stuff. Yeah. Your wife out there so busy doing TV stuff.

Oh, yes. I have a type, I guess. You know, us, Hulu's the deal, of course. Yeah, of course, of course. I can't, I understand now why the Hulu secret hit you so hard. Yes. Yes. Well, to read it in the news, which I'm also supposed to know about. Oh, wow. It's really Haley.

You should have broken a scoop that I could have broken. You could have broken the scoop for me. Are you mad that you couldn't break the story that Strader Lab is going to be on Hulu on L.A. material? And that you were scooped by Deadline. It's the kind of thing he should have access to before most of the other outlets. That's true. That is true. It's within L.A. County borders. But are you guys reporting on entertainment or is it mostly like, we did something about

podcasts. I wasn't really consulted for that. We did the whole thing. The whole thing about the short stories getting bought off Reddit and turned into movies. That was them. That's true. They wrote that whole thing about that. That's entertainment. We did a thing about people in entertainment taking survival jobs like podcaster.

Ah, yes, I did read that too. Who's that directed? Yeah, we do some, that kind of thing. I mean, we're experimenting. Could have been worth a try. No, that's true. No, we have our, we have a recipe down. Okay.

You know, why they pay us the Hulu Bucks? I promise here that if we speak at our gym, to be more honest. Fuck, what is, if we speak at our gym, he said. If. Well, you're not there that much. to be honest. Whoa.

He was like he's really there. You made clear that like, you are there. It's Sam's community is what you don't understand. Yeah. Sam lived out. In a very real way,

in a very real way, Sam was gonna move back to New York, then joined this gym, and then his Leeson life changed. And I'm not exaggerating. And now he likes it. Give me a second chance. Yeah, I love that.

Yeah. So you should join. Where is it? Downtown. Ah. Don't stay downtown. No one wants to go downtown. You'll love it once you're there, right?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. But it is kind of a, so we have a show on our network with Carl Turner and Lamar Woods. And Lamar is a member of the gym. And they have a little bit of an unspoken one member of a duo policy. It does seem, yeah, there's no. Well, I am really craving. It would be an amazing reveal if Sean and I also had some sort of, sort of outside connection that we could talk about.

I would love something like that. It's really, I mean, as we discussed one last time I was on your podcast, I mean, there's a real direct, that's sort of blonde mustache brunette beard kind of connection. And I'm feeling like, but does it stop at that? No. I think Sam and I, no, no, no, I don't think it does. I think Sam and I are both the sweet one.

That's just what I think. I think that's probably true. I think it's true. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Outwardly. Outwardly. Mm-hmm.

They thought they were the street. But no, I think here's a question for you guys. When someone wants to do, when someone wants to do a podcast, which of you more often do they reach out to? When they want to do the show, I think I get more incoming calls. Me too. But he has more like celebrity connections. Like, oh, you know what? You know why?

but it's not really celebrities that are yeah i don't think the celebrities are reaching out that's a good point what's flooding into my mind is a bunch of people who have reached out to me that i just forgot to pass along that's marry me that i forgot to respond yeah i'm sort of like whatever like i'll get to it but they know it comes from a very these are the sweet ones by the way who are totally ignoring they know they know it comes from a sweet place they know that well it's just like yeah we're just so present with the people we're with that we can't that you're ignoring everyone else we want to please everyone so much we just can't help ourselves and we're pleasing nobody and then we pick up the pieces.

Very common thing. I get a request. Someone wants to do the podcast. I tell Sam, should we have them on? Sam's like, eh, I don't think so.

Suddenly, I have a full day of like, how do I craft, you know, how do I craft this response where I'm like the, where I basically say we don't want you on. But I'm the one put in charge of like couching that in the right way. And that's where chat GPT comes in real handy.

Do you have a producer? Yes. Okay. Okay, so. But can you imagine if someone reached out to me directly and then I was like, amazing, our producer will email you and the producer just emailed no. Let me clarify. This sucks.

No, it's true. Welcome to Hollywood, sweetheart. You have to send him to producer. That's probably what the Aoki family did to Devin. Let me put you in touch with our producer. And by the way, sometimes there is somebody who I go, maybe we could have them. Sometimes the producer does say no. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, that happens. Sometimes Hay says no. Sean's wife, I will say also, is an entertainment lawyer. That represents a number of clients who are in our weight class, let's say. Cool. And so like that sometimes sometimes the outreach will come from that. Norbit.

It's like, she represents Norbit? She represents Norbit? He's due for a comeback. Would you believe us if we told you this is the second time today Norbit has come up? I'd have no reason not to. you've never lied to me before. It would be a crazy thing. I've had a lot by omission.

Yes, you've withheld information, but never wise. Yeah. But I wasn't a part of that conversation. I got a feeling if I had been at that gym, I would have come back with the tea. Oh, you think you're better at getting the tea. He is. I don't know. Yeah, he is.

I just, I provide, I'm bad at journalism. I need to fill this vacuum. I was about say, so your job is getting the tea. Yeah, yeah. But if he were doing it, he would be so much better. He's not doing it because he's doing TV. Yeah. Oh, God.

Which he would. crush. You would be really good. No, you'd be good at TV. No, no, no, I'm not even trying at that. That's boring to me. Should we do our first segment? Ooh. Yes.

Our first segment is called Straight Shooters, and in this segment, we test your familiarity with in complicity and straight culture by asking you a series of rapid fire questions where you have to choose this thing or this other thing. You have to go with your gut. This is like Ike's thing now, kind of. The one rule is you can't ask any follow-up questions, or we will yell at you. Okay, going on paternity leave or having a conservative lien? Which one is more straight? That's a question.

Having a conservative lean. I was going to say paternity leave, though. Okay, it's okay to disagree. Spreading misinformation, we don't talk about it at all. That's question. Spreading misinformation or dreading bad inflammation. Bad inflammation? You never dread good inflammation.

I would, yeah. No, for some reason that it's held like bed to me, which I was like, here's another thing. And is it just so it scans to get the meter? The questions are off the charge. Exactly to your point, you would never shred good inflammation. So why say bad? A dreading bad inflammation.

Okay, buy one, get one free, or just we la juvie? Oh. Bilingual. Just be la juan v. Is that, I think of that from the muzies. I see what's happening. Oh, that's true. Just we le grand musi. Just sweet leisure feed.

That's true. You get one of the coveted, that's true. Joining the NRA or enjoying a guy who's gay. And I never really understood whether the question was, which one of these is more straight or it's which one do you prefer? That is a valid thing to think. The kind of thing where you do like, oh, the NRA guys are all like, they're actually gay. They like the long guns and stuff.

That's because there's a level of critical analysis that you might, that might do well on LA material. Yeah, but this is more of an instinctive. Again, I keep these six separate. Hmm. I do think I could make some really positive changes to the NRA. Change them from within. I guess I'll go enjoying a guy who's gay. how that is like a strain of resistance comedy that all Republicans are actually

gay, you know? And that's bad. Yeah. And it's hilarious. That's why they are so bad because they're gay. Yeah. Yeah. That is like that out with Trump. Yeah. Yeah. A palatial, a state or an inspirational debate? You want to take this one? Not really.

It's not sparking anything for me. Are you each reading the ones that you wrote? Correct. Okay. Okay. That is a question. but very helpful. I don't have points or anything. Objection, your honor or ejaculation. I'm honored.

Oh, boy, I love the idea of ejaculation being treated with that much respect. Well, it's about time. Mm-hmm. Yeah, ejaculation, I'm honored. And we're picking which one is straight. Stop this. I can not believe you. I will what you will.

The Chesapeake Bay Bridge or your recipe for baked ribs. And that's the last one? Of mine. Oh my God. I didn't know there was a bridge. I have lots of family involved. So I'll say that the other ones. Bridge, bridge.

Yeah, okay. War and peace or poop and piss? War and peace for me. Poop and piss. Wow. This, I must say, a little peek behind the curtain. You know, this is like what we do every time, but we're, of course, sort of, we know you guys are...

We wanted to see what you would do with it. And we know that you... You know, you run your podcast like the damn Marines. You do it every time? So we do it every time and George, but we're intimidated. We're intimidated. And George said, I don't know if we should do it this time. And I said, I really think we need to stick to our guns and do what we do.

I'm glad you did it. I want you. It was a painful version of the worst one you ever have. This is a great moment to have this conversation. I think it is time to phase it out. I think you guys are so smart and so funny. Let me say this. I can see you guys mainly.

from your incredible clips, as I told Sam, someone else was bringing up the Joe clips to me today, which to me are now like their own genre. It's hit after hit from that episode. I wanna push back a little bit on the idea that the reason I didn't wanna do it is because I'm intimidated by you guys. I don't see it any other reason.

The sweet one, right? He could never invest like that. Yeah. I was, it's not that I was- We could say, I'm intimidated by you. I got intimidated. We're intimidated. I was just like if we do it with them

because they're such incredible improvisers it will take 25 minutes. Well, I wouldn't say that. Do you guys even have an improv background? I never was trained. See, I'm not even trying with this stuff. He does and I quit a long time. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

Yeah, and of course, you can't, you need training to be an improvisers. I mean, they have a podcast background. Yeah, that's right. We talk about how, are you trained in podcasting? Our first, our first write up. I love you. You know what? Let's throw a bunch of people with no training at all up

to do an improv show. and see how that works out. Because I think you said you need training to be an improviser in a very dismissive. Oh, I see. We're in a fight. Rude way. I thought we were connecting. Well, you guys are the mean ones. I actually do think.

I actually do think. You do think that improv should be taught in public schools. With government funding? Yes. Yeah. I don't ever see that segment in the clips. And so I think you know I think you're pointing to a very true

idea which is like if it was better it would be clip up in the clips It'd be a clip sooner or later And to be perfectly honest, peek behind the curtain I have been wanting to phase it out as well It's Sam's baby, I can see It was Sam's idea It's not my idea

It wasn't Sam's idea Yeah First of all I noticed the words sound alike In the options Yeah well that's kind of The thing is The deal

You know, I'm, I'm, I sort of think the structure, the way our show is, has a form is nice. We do the first 20-so minutes saying whatever the hell we want. Then we say, enough. Then we do that segment. So we both signify to each other. We're moving on. And it just gets us, it just gets us in the water. Just gets us in the damn water.

The second half usually is when we go into the straight topic. What's the one that you're trying to capture that you did from a previous episode? that you're like, we know this can work because we did, or nah, nah, nah, no, that I have one that I really thought was genius. Would you like to hear it? Yeah, that's, yeah, I don't think you should more than anything. More than anything. You're saying I'm following their rules.

You're being baited. I'm literally like, they're being Z way right now. Yeah, because it's like, no matter what I say, then it's gonna be like, slight awkward silence and then laugh. And they're like, that's the best one you've got. Let me just say, I know that I'll never, I wasn't in the moment, so I'll never totally be able to capture,

what it means to you. But it's helpful for me to know as I, like, weigh in on whether to ever do the segment again, because right now I am a no. I don't think any of us thinks this was the best one. I don't. Who is the guest? We're not soliciting feedback about whether to do it again from you guys. You just happen to be here.

I don't know. You immediately entertain the idea of phasing it out and said it was something you had been thinking about. These are private conversations. Someone you respect, like, Hayes, you know, affirming maybe some of your concern. You fell for it. You fell for it. They're trying to destroy us because they're jealous at the Hulu deal.

Admiring the show so much and wanting it to like make this leap now that it's going on Hulu. Who's our contacted Hulu? Should we call them and ask if this segment was part of? We actually have not been given an email. Okay. Okay.

We're not really part of the Hulu deal. Ah. They are training the Hulu AI on our likeness and specifically on the straight shooter segment. And they are generating an infinite number of slightly rhyming phrases and making it into a mobile game that will be hosted by Maria Minunos. Oh, okay. I know what went wrong. With Otsko's hair. It's going to be Maria Minunos with

Outsko's hair. It's a combination of all their properties. Yeah. I know what went wrong. With this one? With this one. Oh, okay. Now you're letting them win by admitting it went wrong. Here's what went wrong. I think we have to admit it went wrong. This is a nightmare. We're living in a nightmare. I think what went wrong is, you know, you're supposed to just of move quickly through it. It's rapid fire. It's supposed to be quick. It's supposed to not be thought about very much.

To sit with it. Do you usually give a tiny bit more I want to say something? There was a point. No, that's it. There was a point when you guys started asking questions and I thought in my head they're doing a genius bit, which is their thing is going to be asking a bunch of questions

because they know that's the thing they're not supposed to do. But then you were sort of like switching back and forth between questions and statements. You couldn't decide. I think Hayes was doing the question thing. entire time. You weren't responding to me, but I was asking because you were something loud in your head. I'm a little more of a rule follower. I just feel like I got in trouble for my first question. And, you know, I think also the questions I asked were things that I wanted to know. Sure. Right.

I'll tell you, like from our perspective, from the guest perspective. Yeah, please. I'm thinking, is this like a would you rather type scenario where I'm supposed to be teasing it out in a funny way? explaining my, our responses in ways that are funny. And I took a couple swings at that. I will admit. And I thought one was, this is why you're upset. Yeah. Because it's not about that. Well, when I think of, well, so.

For a clip, for example, for a useful clip, it starts with the prompt and then you explore that in the. It's in, you think it's all about clips. I know it's all about. I mean, it's all about. been in the game for a couple, couple days. Get people in, get people in, get people logging onto Hulu.com

so that they can watch this. Okay, so theoretically, if that was true, then if the clips were to get people in, then the show would be to keep them in. Let's say you've made it this far into this conversation. Don't you wanna see how it ends? You're in. Are you turning it off now?

Yes. Let me, let me the segment itself. But this is the segment. This conversation will not be happening without the segment. The segment provided this conversation. So I think that is worthwhile in a way, but I don't think it's sustainable. What I want to know is, yeah. It's been sustained for six years.

Does this conversation happen every episode? I don't think that's what I don't think is sustainable. Yes, I don't think that's sustainable. So what is your next complaint? It's not a complaint. It is a real question. Instead of answering the, the, the prompt that you think works really well.

I do want to know the guest because what you're actually thinking about is how they made you feel. You have to understand. When you said it. It's actually not at all what I'm thinking of because you have, this is this segment.

This segment is us saying like little, little, making little wordplay jokes. And then everyone's like, ha ha ha ha ha. It's purely. Not everyone. Do you know what he's thinking of? I think I actually do.

Yeah. What do you think? is this a trap there's I mean you tell me I mean like if it's not a vulnerable thing

then you should be able to just say it careful to me at one point I went to turn to ask a question him and he went careful that really scary to me it sounds like a simple question about the show when I said careful it was a joke

one of them was like one of the options was like gay related so I was making oh that's true don't be homophobic oh yeah yeah we have a light jab

just fun yeah would be helpful to say that at the very beginning instead of like There's just careful, don't do this. Like, they'll be rude about that stuff. Yeah.

Before I even get on the show. I'd said in the beginning. I would just would have been, did you think I wanted you to be rude? The rules of the show are just like, we usually set them out kind of at the very beginning. You guys? You guys do.

Famously, you don't. We do. You think, you have some. Do you think Paul Feig knew the rules coming in? He, I think almost more than anyone. acquitted himself admirably. He did, he did the entire show, like,

straight shooter where like just saying rhymes we would say something just a light little sort of wordplay like yeah quippy witty response one sentence and then onto the next thing right so he when i say out the next thing it means looking at us being like now you go on to the next thing so he engaging in a clip not not blowing us on he was no he was clipminding he was clip mining live we we could have gotten 50 60 clips out of that episode i didn't see any clips from that episode. It was a super cut. That episode was a super cut.

Thank you. That is what happened. Those have traditionally not done great for us. It was genuinely was. It was like, yes, got it. Because of the rapid fire.

Because there wasn't a chunk there. There was no conversation that happened. Yes. Interesting. Your score is zero. And they never said they were never willing to open up about a moment. about a moment they enjoy on the show that you love.

Move on to the next part of the podcast. Okay. So this is. And I'm scoring you as well. And at the end of the episode, I will give you your score. Anyone can score anyone. I can be like, I'm making a lot.

That's my point. That's my point. Yeah. Do you guys struggle with being guests? I think I made it clear that I struggle with everything. except for getting work hello we're having a good year

Christmas is going to hit different in your household who's having a better year you or Anna Hathaway oh great question season four films and pregnant but people are accusing her of having a fake baby bump

your thoughts people love that dinosaur movie yeah they do wait what did you say okay yeah sorry if you know everyone involved Someone else told me not to see it, but they were. I do feel like...

No, you can see it. It's like a fun day at the movies, but it's bad. Yeah, I think people are lying about that one. I was going to go see it today. Lying about it being good? Yeah. I mean, I haven't seen it, but... Did you see people liking it and say, like,

I can get in here a little bit? Yes. Yeah. I was like, because it... Well, I don't know. I mean, it's the director of it follows. I was like, sure. Oh, it follows.

I love the Silver Lake. Do you actually? Yes, I do. Okay, because I need to... I've been hearing more and more about... I thought people did. I didn't like it. They didn't.

I think the initial response was negative and it's now has like a cult following. I'm all in. I watched it after the, you know, theatrical. I think I watched a few years after came out. I was like, oh, this is cool. It's cool. I did one of those three hour long podcasts about it. They're, uh, a guy does a horror movie podcast and invited me on.

And I brought about under the Silver Lake for a really long time. Was it Brett? No, I don't think so. Okay. Okay, so what's your straight topic? Honestly, I'm so sorry. Between me or Anne Hathaway. I feel like I'm still doing straight shooter.

It's just like I'm still doing straight shooter. It's all straight shooter. I guess Anne Hathaway is probably having a better year. Well, at least you admit it. So what is your straight topic today? And what is straight about it? Mm-hmm. Well, you know, I presented you with two options.

Do you want to say both? The first option I said was pocket knives, which we said also could extend into like everyday carry as like a phenomenon. And then the other option that I mentioned was talking about something that you almost did, but then ended up not doing. Yes. So pocket knives, of course, you know, it's kind of like handheld weapons. but it's something that gestures towards the idea of a weapon.

And also gestures. The outdoor, yeah, like the outdoors, resourcefulness. Being prepared. A little microdose of survivalism. Yeah. Yes, survivalism for sure. Needing to have that out in the world. Yes.

I want to know about... Researching. Researching the knives. Right, researching the knives. That's part of it. I want to know about the second one and, like, maybe some examples that compelled you.

to bring it? What made me think about it was, as he mentioned, you know, we have other podcasts on our Patreon. And one of them is the two of us with Carl Tart. And there was a time that we all kind of walked down memory lane with sports, both what we had done or achieved and what we think we could have done or like sports we didn't try or didn't pursue. I should have played this game. And the. you know, commentary on the episode was very like, well, people will love this episode if they want to hear, you know, three dudes talk about like sports they didn't play but think they could have been good at. And it felt to me like it was the word straight was not in there, but it felt like a dismissal of us that was sort of damning. And then I thought about that and like other things like that. There was one like rock band at my high school. And at one point they asked me to come and audition to be the singer.

And I like prepared the night before. And then I went up and I went to start and I just panicked and like couldn't get the timing right. And then was like, I'm actually just going to like groove with you guys. I probably won't do this at all. But I think I could have done good. What song did you sing? Well, it was they were playing, I think smells like Teen Spirit was the song that they wanted me to sing and that I just kind of didn't get. And so, but I think about that and I'm sure have told the story multiple times before of like something.

I almost was the singer for this band in school. And I don't know. For some reason, it feels straight to me to be like there's this sort of buffet of things that. Limitless options. I can do anything I want and I think I would be good at any of them. Of course, I've only done a couple of things. things and I'm just sort of okay at them. But, but, but there were a lot of paths that had I taken them, you would be very impressed by me.

Completely. It is, it is a, it's like an overconfidence. It's like if this job interview had gone differently, which by the way, it didn't because they didn't get me. Then I would have had this. Yes. My big failed job interview. The worst job interview I ever had is this, them missing the bit. They didn't get it. These fucking losers.

And it's not that I completely misread the situation and fucked up. And also it's, I'm thinking of like former former high school or college athlete who's now kind of like a debbeat sort of like whatever has some job he doesn't like. And he's like, I could have been somebody. Things just had to break one way or the other. Yes, exactly. And yes. It also not to get too political, but it reminds you of like the idea of like a straight guy thinking that he didn't get a job because of. of diversity hiring and being like, well, surely,

if there wasn't a diversity initiative, I would have objectively speaking been the right one. If it was five years earlier, that's my job. I'm doing that. You know what I mean? But it's just like the culture, the timing. I got kind of fucked by it. I'm not saying it's bad. Like, you know what I mean? Good. More opportunities. But like, I would have had that. Yeah. I totally do that. Not about diversity. Oh, sure. Not with diversity, but like, I go like, well, if I started comedy eight years before,

And we'll have a Comedy Central show. Totally. Yes, yes, yes. That's not true. I never did stand-up. I have a list of- I would have been pretty good at. You had a pretty good.

Oh, yeah. It's pretty straightforward. I think I would have done okay. Interesting that you think you do need training for improv, but not for stand-up. Well, stand-up. I don't think I would have been good the first time I did it, which is why I also not, like, I'll go do it now.

I'm like, if I had at the time that I started improv, either simultaneously or instead started pursuing stand-up. There are shows. where I have stories in my back pocket about why I wasn't working on them. But I could have. And if those shows come up, I will tell that stuff.

You will? I mean, like, in conversation, I do it all the time. Even you with the self-awareness of... Well, they have to know. It's for the same reason that, like, leaving the business gets you like, oh, well, that's why I am not doing all these other things that I could do

because I'm doing something else. But for these other shows, they have to know that it wasn't that I wasn't allowed to do them. I decided. I got asked to showcase for Lorne. I got asked to showcase for Lorne.

I didn't do it. Now. Yeah, yeah. I almost did. Well, you almost got asked. No, I did get asked. But you said no. You said no.

Yes. He didn't do it. It's true. How come? Is this real? Yeah. I was, I, my friend and I had just gotten a pilot ordered at Comedy Central. I was very happy living in Los Angeles.

I was writing on workaholics. Yeah. I had, you know, who's now my wife. We were together living together. She had a, I was like, and again, it's an overestimation of my ability. And I was like, I was like, the best case scenario for this. What I thought was actually the likely scenario for this was, I will not get added to the cast.

I will potentially get invited to write for the show and move to New York and make less money and leave this whole life that's coming behind. And then I'll be there and be frustrated that I'm not cast. And I was just playing out that. And so now in the story, that would have happened. It would have been cast. You wouldn't have done the showcase

that they would have just said, not for us. Thank you. Do you want more details? because I had one good stage like monologue character piece that I had done in a show. And my friend went instead of the, our whole improv group got asked to perform for him. I said no. I gave my friend the stage piece and Lorne laughed at it. And he got flown to New York to audition.

But then ultimately did not get it. Did not get it. But it was his original character. But it was partially based on my work from what it was. Well, that's so crazy. And so you're like in order to kind of like follow through on this fantasy that you would have gotten the job, you in fact almost use your friend as an avatar. And you're like to prove to myself that I would have gotten this, you do my piece. But then of course, the reason he didn't get it is because he didn't have that extra thing that you have.

Maybe the rest of this stuff also should have been mine. Exactly. That's true. And I actually don't think that. And I think he is a better stage performer than I am. The politician has logged on. But. But I do think I would have been, I do think I could have been invited to write.

And I think that I would be really hard to say no because it's such an institution. And it's such a, but I said no. But again, this is a great story of something I almost did and didn't do that I sort of secretly think I could have succeeded at. My version is I think if I'd come out of the closet earlier, I think I would have been a dancer. Oh. Firmly believe this. I have incredible rhythm. What kind?

Incredible rhythm. All kinds. I think I would be trained in ballet, of course, but then it would go more modern and eventually, probably into more of a dance space. Where do you picture yourself, like, perform, like, what does that career look like in your mind? Well, or is it now, like, you're seeing these clips come? I think like all the dance clips. All the dance. Well, of course.

And now you would have been. I would have been an amazing dancer. It would have been an amazing dancer. It moves too much. Yeah. I hate that, actually. I'm like, let the dance speak. You would not have done that.

No, of course not. I've taste. That wouldn't even be popular because his video would be popular. And I would say, camera still. It would have never caught on. It would have been all about still camera. I remember there was a point when I was like 10 years old. And a friend, a girl was like, I'm taking a dance class. And I was like, wait, I actually want to do that.

And my parents were like, no. Right. Like you're going to be good. You're a guy. And I was like, wait, tea. But I guess I don't want to push back on this. in a violent way. But I've never...

Do you have any interest in dance as an art form? Oh my God, George. Of course. He does. I watched America's Next Best Dance Crew on MTV every fucking thing. I watched it too. And I would call in to vote. So you think...

Well, Mama, J.C. Shazzei. The Jabalakis. So you think you would be like a hip-hop dancer? No, I would have gone in the more alt direction, of course. I know my role. Alt as in, like, Thank you. I guess I've never heard of the genre of alt dance.

Okay, well, if you watched America's Next Best Dance crew, you would know the group Fanny Pack. I see. I'm pointing, I'm like, please. And his Fanny Pack, does that not count as hip-hop, broadly speaking? Do you remember them? I don't know. Were they sort of comedic?

Okay, what's that? Yeah, were they comedic? Yeah, did they do? Comedy? Yeah. Comedy? Yeah. Yeah.

Yes. Comedic. Okay. Okay, someone hasn't watched Steve Martin's masterclass and it shows. You know, clocked. They were. If I had watched that, I would have gotten SNL. If I had watched Steve Martin's master class, that may have been the missing piece.

But I chose not to because I didn't want to. It's like then if I get offered it, I would have to choose whether or not I want to move to New York. And at the time, I had just sold a show in L.A. And was dating the woman who's not my wife. And the pilot, just to close that, did not. get made. No, it got made. It did not get order. Mm-hmm. You made it without the order. We got it got to make your own stuff.

We just do it. Just got a big- just got a fucking shoot. Just like make cool shit with your friends. At Grock, make this script. Yeah, have you fed it to Grock? Might be time. But basically, I think it would be sort of, sure there's hip-hop, but it's also more conceptual, you know, it's shapes. and stuff like that oh so it's more shape-based it's shape-based dance julio sort of type stuff yeah i would love to see julio do a dance

so george what would you have done well you know i have many eras as everyone knows that's i've worked in so many other industries never succeeded in any of them but of course in journalism let's say yes i did i worked in journalism i worked in academia um my work's in tech. Somehow I was always like the one, I do think in a real way, and I can't believe I'm saying this, there is part of my,

in the back of my mind, there's always a thought that's like, I was too smart for that. For everything. And it's like a reason to, like the reason I have failed at everything is because I'm too smart. George,

let me assure you that people, I'm sure do talk about you that way. People think of George as very smart. Yeah. Yes. It's working. Well, it's not on a more, on a broader level. And abandoning street shooter, I think, would really finish.

Go a long way towards cementing that. It would finish the job. So, yeah, I guess. We just have to present United Front. But you don't have, but you feel this is not a trait that you feel you possess the like talking about something you almost did. No, no, no. I think, hmm.

I think I think I think. possess it but not in a I'm like glad those things didn't work out I guess like I don't possess in a way where I'm like I'm bitter now and I'm like God if that had worked like I could have been somebody there it's more like I think about like what if I had stayed working in tech and now been like super rich but had an empty life where I'm I because I know people who are like this where it's like they worked at some tech company they had crazy stock options are insanely rich now, but I talk to them and I feel bad for them. And I'm like, and maybe that's a defense mechanism where I'm like, oh, it's good that I didn't

make all that money because I would be sad. Yeah. So maybe there's like a, that's a great way to feel. Do you know what I mean? Yes. No, I love it. Because I do that. To be honest, I wouldn't have to be honest.

I do that for SNL too. Because the assumption is over and out of arsenal that you would have gotten it. The thought experiment is never would. If I tried to do this and eat and shit. shit and been destroyed by getting one of those people that's on her for one season yeah so even in that version you get on the show yeah no i would be on it mm-hmm i would be kind of like the gay jenny slate yes that's exactly many people are calling you that yeah well yes exactly do smart for her own good um so you were suggesting that you don't think this is necessarily a

a straight topic. When we introduced it as a straight topic, you said that a lot of, you know, I said that in a meadry way, let me think if I, it's a very like, Glory days.

Yes, it's the Bruce Springste. I think it's a genius straight topic for that reason. Because there's like a bitterness there. I think the high school athlete thing is like the, the first thing that sparked it for me, but then I did expand it into like, I think I still have this mentality.

Yes. I think that here's what it. Okay, from a comedy, perspective. Something that is sometimes difficult is performing for a lot of gay men because what gay men think is that if they were to get on stage, they would be the funniest person in the room because it is inherently, they are inherently witty and quippy and like in their friend group, they're the funny one. And so who does this guy think he is? He doesn't even have like a six

pack. I don't do you think that that is also not a straight thing? It is a bit that we do on the show where someone says something that they're doing successfully and we're like, I got to get into designing videos. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To do that. Where it's like, I have to do that. It's just like, I haven't gotten around to it. Like, since you're doing it.

My life is so full that I haven't been able to sort of dabble in the thing that is your life. Right. And if you can do it, I definitely can. Yes. Yeah. I do think, yeah, I hear what you're saying about gay audiences specifically. but I think that there, it may just be some amount of like toxic masculinity to always think that you would be good at something and overestimate yourself. And that like, for the most part, lesbians respect.

And I'm serious. I just want to say right now, legitimately like, I'm bowing out. I've seen the comments on this type of clip. I can feel it forming. I'm just saying. And I'm just saying, are like this. I'm not participating. But there's proof to what I'm saying.

There are more successful lesbian comedians, like Ellen, Rosie, Wanda, Paula Poundstone. Like, there is a rich history, and then they have, like, respectful lesbian women fans that are like, thank you for speaking for all of us.

Yeah, I would never say thank you for speaking for all of us. But Gamen love lesbian comedians, too. Well, that's true, because they're not threatened by them. Yes. And they can still be like, the lesbian can be like, and you, who's the top? Yes.

And they go, we're going to edit this so that it's you guys saying this stuff. At Grock. Make it so they say it. You're not participating. Do not talk about what I'm doing. I think this topic is interesting as like a little kid thing. It's so little kid to be like, and then I was going to do this.

Like, oh, and then. And it's like, well, you didn't do any. But it's like they play it out in their head. And it's like, you didn't do anything. Yeah. You didn't do anything. That's the story. So many of the stories are I didn't do anything.

But you have to, people have to know that you could. Yeah. I think that I could. have an incredible body. Maybe you've chosen not to. Yeah, I'm like, well, I choose to be casual about my gym. You know, like to me, it's like a social space. Yes. Well, and it's with the quality of

casual thing, like what's the balance, you know, that I personally know. Sam? Yes, but I'm not in that world. So here's the thing with Sam's relationship to the gym. He's very regimented about going, but when he's there, it's about having fun. He's not like, I'll be like, so is today like, armed day, whatever. He's like, it's like, why are we trying to define that? Like, I walk around for games at all. Okay. At all. He just, like, thinks it's the right thing to do to have, like,

balance a body in mind. Sometimes I swim, sometimes I run. Who knows? Just having fun out there. When people are like... Let's a spirit take you. Literally. Spirit of the gym. Yeah, you have to... The weights speak to me. I say that one wants me to and you're not, like, writing down how much you lift every day. Oh, God, no. The moment it's work. I'm out. I'd work enough. You know how many emails I send? The amount of emails I send would kill a Victorian child. So when I go to my gym, it's to get in touch with my spirit.

When people are like, I'm not getting enough calories and like, don't count that stuff. That's fake. I don't know if it's fake, but maybe it is. someone believes everything they're told I sort of a study that has stuff like me I'm still not sure you do that segment every single episode I know I sort of wondered about

I was getting tricked about that as well so you guys are really bad about the segment so that is projection because we'll do a segment you're coming in for yeah you met your match we'll preface it by saying that we do this every episode we always do this we always do this

we always ask you guys you guys have trauma from traumatizing this is crazy That's why you play these mind games with the likes of Paul Fee. We can't trust in it. And in the same way that I was trying to get George to share a positive memory so I could destroy it for him. George saying, well, I know what I would do with that information. And I don't want it done to me.

Wow. That's so scary. Does anyone ever get genuinely upset on your podcast? All the time. Not all the time. Not all the time. Yeah, we have a short list of it's not. And I wouldn't call it.

stories. Rare. You told me a story about one of them. Yes, that is true. Yeah. And she's been chased out of the industry

since then. Who could it be? Wow, now it's our turn to squirb. I will tell you. It was like Sarah Squirm? She did something crazy when she came on our podcast, which is that her straight

topic was jackass, the film franchise. Slash TV show. Slash TV show, of course. And we had this whole, she was very funny. We had a great conversation. conversation about Jackass as a straight topic.

We, you know, hung up the Zoom. She had been a full on writer and producer on the Jackass movie that was coming out. Right. So the entire time she was doing promo or she didn't mention it the entire time. I forgot about that. That was kind of a crazy thing. No, that was actually kind of... It was sort of like punk rock in like a corporate way.

I'll tell you, so I'm working in specifics. I'll tell you all the shows that I could have worked on. Okay, please. Yes, please. I had done the two previous McBride shows. We can't have people walking around thinking, oh, did they not ask him back for number three? You quit.

They all moved. I mean, like they're saying this Sean's thing. Like, they all moved to Charleston. Oh, you wouldn't want to ask me to fly out and participate? Yes, of course they did. Can I not watch the show now because I don't want to see what I missed out on? I want to enjoy it. Sure, is that weird?

And I tell him that I would like it. The idea that I would ever watch a comedy. a television comedy in this day and age, you have to be joking. Thank you, yes. Like, it's, it doesn't mean the same thing. Well, there's no good version of watching a comedy.

No, I just mean in terms of, I need something that no one I know is involved in at all. I'm rewatching Desperate Housewives. Well, here are the options when you watch a comedy. It is bad and you think it's bad. And you think, why the fuck did they make this and not my thing? It is bad.

And people, say it's good and you think I can't believe people say this is good it's good it's actually bad it is good and people say it's good and I'm not involved there is no version of watching a comedy it is good and people say it's bad then it's like what am I now going to go out and cape for this thing that everyone hates no that's the only thing I can do oh yeah that was me with DT if somebody says something's bad just because he's just because he was bad to lily allen we can't enjoy this show also just the performance of his career it was a good show it was a really good show Whatever.

Shadows. Shadows. Shadows. Like, we're like, I can't. It's New York. Like, I had just done a show in New York. I have family here. Yeah.

Yeah. Was the show I did way less well received the show that I didn't do? Yes. Mm-hmm. Well, it's the gym. You couldn't give up that membership. I took on the gym after that maybe to kind of exercise. I mean, they call it exercising demons, right?

and what's the other the bear of course the bear did you want to write on the bear you know that didn't want to met Chris through through political stuff actually got an email from his producer saying I got something that we're working on we'd love to talk to you about it didn't respond to the email I have decided that it was the bear

and that again like wasn't even like the showcase I don't know if they even had an name word at the time so in my head I was like... Untitled cooking project. I would have developed it with them into something... It's amazing to call the bear... Untitled cooking project. Not like untitled restaurant or chef. Untitled cooking project.

It's cooking show. Okay, I think it's time for our final segment. Our final segment is called, What Did You Do to Your Hair This Morning? Where we each say what we did to our hair this morning to make it look like what it is. Wow. Yeah, Hayes, you go first, and I think that'll be good.

This, I mean, maybe everyone feels. this way. This actually feels the most like targeted I've ever felt. Well Hayes's hair is a big topic of conversation. It feels like I'm waking up. Literally it's like what are you doing? So it feels like I'm waking up from a dream like this is proof

that this is a dream because I'm self-conscious about my hair today. Really? Thank you so much for for saying that. I have gone one day longer, not washing it, then I normally go. How many days is that? This is day

four. So I'm like, it stinks. We are having the opposite. I washed my hair this morning and so I'm in and I didn't put any product in it because I forgot it at home. And so I'm insecure that it's sort of just like frizzy. And that's why I didn't do this because it'd be like flopping around in my face. See, I didn't wash it and I haven't washed it in a couple days. But I'm not I'm not counting because I have enough counting to do. Well, I think you know what I did because George and I are always a line. But I did. I actually. I played tennis this morning. Oh, wow. It's really sweet. I showered after that. I haven't played tennis lately. Full wash.

And I did a full wash. Wow. And then no product. You know what? I put a little bit of beard oil in my beard and then I smeared the leftover into my hair. Let me just be very precise about day four. Please. This is the third morning shower that I have not washed my hair.

So I don't know exactly. Like, day one is a fact. objectively day zero, day one is like, I wash my hair that day. Okay. Well, we got your asses, that's not a real segment. And, um. So it was targeted.

It was completely targeted. That's literally why I was like, Hayes, only you. Oh, no. We got your asses. I mean, surely this is, surely it has crossed your desk that there's been a shift wherein your hair

and mustache look perfect. Oh, that's great. Oh, thank you so much. I need to hear that. Yeah, like no, it hasn't. It hasn't. No. No. Is there ever a product that you use? I would even go to far as to say your jaw line as well. There's that's great. Maybe it's a lighting issue. We need better lighting. That's for damn sure. But I'm there. Maybe your switch to journalism. I, you know what I think it actually was. I and I feel this very acutely and it's inexplicable because all the personnel followed us here. Switching networks did wonders. for me. I don't know how it happened, but some, you know, I'll scroll back through the, like, through our feed. And like, as soon as we get to head gum, I'm like, who the fuck is that? Cool. But it was all Casey.

Casey's sitting right here. He did that to me then. And for some reason, he decided to, yeah, to, he was like, it's time to, yeah, it's time to level up. But it, like, we, we talk about the, oh, you did our show. Yeah. Yeah. We talk about it nonstop about, like, and I'm actually kind of.

I didn't like the visual presentation of that. I'm almost feeling like we're maybe trapped in this again that like the... Those dance videos where the camera follows you everywhere, headgum was like that for your crotch. The camera was always pointed... Center of the frame was the crotch line across the couches. And the couches were sort of tilted so that you had to... Pushing you up.

I do remember that. I do remember being like, huh. being like, huh? I didn't know that's what my budget. The lens must somehow be angled or something so that that's not what the view is. But no, it was the view always. Interesting. Interesting.

Yeah. But that network I think was built around Nick Weiger. Who I think also he he looks amazing on the head gum camera. He did stuff that his hair and also wears like these shorts. He's got a stylist now. Yes. Yeah. He's like figuring it out in a big way. So they pick someone, you know.

So it's like he's presented appropriately. Now this one is apparently built around making Hayes look good. I'm here to support him in that. Of course. He needs to support each other and different ways. He is very successful in his career. I'm doing that instead. I have a mustache.

Well, that was our final segment. Yeah. So thank you guys for doing the pod. Oh, thanks for having us on. I think this has been really amazing. And where can people find you? Oh my God. Do you we do this too every time we ask that we also do a little laugh like

We can't actually be as we don't actually care. Well we have a Hollywood handbook that's a show that's on I heart now. Then we have a Patreon called Hollywood Handbook and Friends. Hayes has the LA Material. That's his newsletter. LAMaterial.com you sign up for free and I just want to sincerely say I love it. It's amazing. love going out and reporting little stories. I love knocking doors.

You're a full on reporter. Which I do a lot now. I did a story about this thing going on in Venice the other week and I just had the time of my life. I love it. Can I ask you something? Yeah. Did you, is this your first time doing something like this?

I did a podcast about L.A. stuff years ago. I know. Yeah, but it's my first time doing like long for. Get this. I wrote this story. It ended up on long form. actual long form and I was just like I was over the moon I was so proud of myself it's it's been really fun genuinely incredibly inspired I did high school I did high school newspaper I've always wanted to do this yeah I really like it a lot I got a movie there's a movie up on Apple and a show the show that

Apple TV the show that he is making but the movie is the ding that's up there on Apple TV with so many comedy heavy hitters yeah a lot of really funny people in it really fun movie have fun watch it um and then i'm yes i'm making a pilot for hulu that i hope does better than the comedy central pilot that we talked about i hope we get to make the whole series of the show but i'm going to go film that and i i can't give all the details i guess but it's very what's been announced is you guys will love this it's called lex and it's about a reality show i don't want to say like specific bronches reality star who's like off a big hit like sort of Bravo show and then um the uh sort of opening of the

pilot is that he's recording a cameo sort of an unhinged cameo for someone uh you know about trying to put a brave face on how bad his life is and through the course of the pilot you realize that he accidentally captured uh an assassination in the back of the cameo um trying to kill him and he's now like the only person who can like sort of save our country or something. Oh, casting's going amazing. Dylan O'Brien is the lead of the show. You're allowed to say that?

I didn't know. Wait, really? Yeah, Dylan was announced. I missed that. Huge. You believe it. That's huge. The amazing runner.

So good. Yeah. Dylan O'Brien has sent help, right? Yes. Okay, thank God. Imagine if I had the wrong Dylan. And he's so good. He's amazing.

Are you lying? Have you, yeah, are you lying? I'm not lying. Have you seen twin less? Read the trades. It's real. Yes. Have you seen Twin Les.

Sorry. No, I don't trust. He did see. He's unbelievable in it. Yeah. He's actually like one of the great actors of his generation. He's incredible. Do you know what else he was, I thought, the best in Saturday night?

I didn't catch that. I watched it. I liked it and yeah, his, his, his, he's Dan Aykroyd. And he really is doing it. He's great. No, he's an incredible actor. Well, shout out to SNL. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. I almost was on it. Oh, we were all almost on it. Bye. Bye. Podcast ends now. Stradio Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and Iheart Radio podcasts. Created and hosted by Sam Taggart and George Severus.

Executive produced by Becca Ramos. Produced by Casey Donahue. Edited and mixed by Lawrence Stumpf. Social video done by Hot Doc Sandwich. Hey, it's Bobby Bones. Join me and former NFL quarterback Matt Castle. Every Wednesday on our podcast, lots to say with me Bobby Bones and Matt Castle. You're in training camp and the rookie quarterback.

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I sit down with elite athletes, record holders, coaches, and everyday runners. to unpack the mindset behind pushing through when things get tough. Because the discipline, grace, and grit you build out there on the pavement, that's what helps you show up as your best self everywhere else. I'd just love to say, I never know who's watching. So you want to make sure you, you through and through, and you just stay true to who you are.

Listen to Hurtle with Emily Abadi on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Back to School is here, and you know what that means. Dirty Rush is on. As campuses come back to, Life and Rush Week kicks into high gear. We're taking you inside the mysterious journey of a sorority girl from pledging to initiation and just about everything in between. Join me, Gia Judice, Daisy Kent, and Jen Fessler. Dirty Rush takes you deep inside Greek life. Let's get dirty.

Listen to Dirty Rush on the IHare radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. In February of 2024, celebrated illustrator and children's book author Patra Mathers and her husband Michael mailed letters to dozens of friends and family members to let them know they had died by suicide. Dear honies, this is goodbye. By the time you get this letter, both Petra and I will be dead. Next stop, Wonderland. Why did they do it? And what did it do to the people they left behind? Listen to death of an artist on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.