Hollywood Handbook - The Cowboy TV Christmas Special (with Bang Rodgman)

Episode Date: December 1, 2020

Hayes helps Sean and BANG RODGMAN film The Cowboy TV Christmas Special. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Good, good friend. Fly by it does. Like a piece of ash. Like a crackling. Drifting up into the sky. Popling. Just fluttering little piece of ash. That's beautiful, friend. And it's, of course, I'm referring to the time of the Cowboy TV Christmas special. of the Cowboy TV Christmas special.

Well, it's nice to put a Yule log on the old Cowboy TV for a change. Most of the year, we just got regular plain old-fashioned logs. But come the holiday season, well, we tend to Yule it up a little bit, don't we, friend? Yule, Yule, uh a little bit, don't we, friend? Yule, you're correct.

You'll find that I agree with that. Well said. And I took a couple runs at it, but it ain't how many times you get knocked down. It's how many times you'll get back up. Oh, nice. Yeah, some people get all competitive about starting a fire, which again is what Cowboy TV is. You know, I always find it's good to mention that when we refer to Cowboy TV, we're talking about sitting around watching that fire. The flames of Hades himself licking and kissing at the sky

and sucking and squeezing on that sky with their little flame arms and mouths. Yep, nothing more entertaining than Hades himself sending his little flameys to go licky and kissy the sky. Mm-hmm. And squeeze the sky. And, of course, as you mentioned, sometimes that makes a little piece of ash go flipping, poppling, and fluttering off. And that's kind of how the year went by, isn't it then? Shredding and

glistening. Yeah. This Cowboy TV Christmas special, of course, brought to you by pine trees. You ain't gonna get my pine tree, you old bitch. Yeah, that's the classic catchphrase stop stop stop what's up this is pretty good i don't want to start at the end the last are you do you need like a hanky or

something a lot of people get emotional with our christmass. I've been told. To me, it was the same. And I do want to like, I'll get into how there's so little different, like, despite what I was told about how there would be a whole plot and like a lesson and characters and like things happening. To me,

it was the exact same. It was the two cowboys. They were watching the fire. They were talking about how it was TV. Not tv not actually okay so i'll say we barely started yeah that well that was like a difference from other episodes of cowboy tv which is even the the premise that you were watching tv has mostly gone away there was almost no comparing the fire to tv it was now just like kind of it was somehow even less less there than before in that department in that specific area but i don't want like the you know the thing that made me stop is like what it's sponsored by pine trees sure well christmas time eh but the the like the catchphrase is you're

it's christmas eh you know you gotta it is christmas someone is trying to get your pine tree yeah and they're not gonna you old bitch i if it's a the language obviously is not ideal they're not you're not talking to like a if it helps it's that you're talking to a woman okay it's not a woman it's more of like a mischievous scamp that is that is a guy he's a he's clearly a burglar uh and he's like um he's a guy but he's like a male uh coyote he's a male coyote in in a kind of strike so it's not a human it's a it's a it's a it's a gray area it's a male coyote in a kind of strike. So it's not a human. It's a, it's a, it's a gray area. It's a gray area because he's on two legs and he has,

um, the lower half of his face seems to be human. So he may just be in like a, he's got leather gloves. I just, you know, I, I was happy to do this again.

It was presented to me as like that. You had the fact now that i think about it he's basically human yeah i'm trying to put together what you're describing why i even said yeah why we're thinking he was a coyote for this whole time because like i'm thinking it didn't seem to matter at all he's got boots on gloves leather gloves but it's lucky it did not skin play into what you were saying at all it's only for this conversation so it doesn't i don't think that really matters the he's sort of blonde you got me excited kind of coyote hair color yeah you got me excited to do cowboy tv again with your prompt about like how how much you would learn from doing the first yeah you helped us like crazy that was so helpful Hayes I cannot thank you enough and how much you had to say

how much you were like how much more you had to say well it was it was about yeah Christmas and like sort of a different message than like other christmas specials are doing something that's a little more like thoughtful and like mature it's not so commercial yeah yeah no we and i have to say with care i mean i do want to come back to like with plot and like with these characters and in a way that we've never seen them before but that's but i was but you don't have to come back to it i was already talking about that. We did find, obviously, we didn't necessarily handle the notes perfectly in the moment, but you were accurate in sort of saying, more or less, I'll put it in nicer terms than you did, but that it was a little thin what we were working with on Cowboy TV in some of the early episodes.

Yeah. And the early episodes and the early seasons even. Um, and that's, and that we did need to build it out. And that turned out to be totally fair. And we needed to add more,

more of an arc and more story, more for the audience to sink their teeth into. And people loved it. People loved it like that. Sure. Yeah. But you saved our ass. Well, I mean, when when dylan went electric people

were furious because everyone had been enjoying him playing i believe just a tambourine up until that point he was he was tambourine man and that was how he that was how people knew him you forget now but that was how he was known. And this is Dylan going electric. It's the Christmas special. Yes, it's the Christmas special of Cowboy TV where we're going to make some bigger statements than we have. Maybe not everybody's ready for it. Yourself included?

Yes. I'm not being tough, a tough guy. I'm not being tough guy right now. Maybe you're not ready for it. No, I am absolutely ready for something to challenge me and for something different. Again, to me, it is the same. And not only that, I heard a lot about all the time

that you spent in the lab, taking these characters to new places and coming up with new things for them to do. Listening to this, I don't think you did anything. Look at my hand from working on the whiteboard. Yeah. Erasing and rewriting. Okay.

You're holding it in like a writing position. Okay. Now it is. Okay. It looks normal. Well, it looks normal, but like... Try getting the inside of it. The inside of your hand?

It's tired if you get some sort of like x-ray goggles and literally if you if you got x-ray goggles and looked in what you would see is a man in a long night shirt and a little sleeping cap and he's tucking himself in because he's so tired and okay i would be so curious goggles he'd be running straight to the ladies locker room okay and hey i would just love to have to admit you what you wrote to come up with that first part because it did not seem like anything was really prepared the one line about a yule log it seemed like you were really scrambling to figure something out i think that's sort of moment i think the kind of um raggedy shambolic sort of yeah homemade

feeling of cowboy tv is part of what draws the audience in so that's actually a tremendous compliment you've paid me because that line is designed to feel as if it's practically improvised. But that was written. You wrote that ahead of time. Look at my hand. Say it. Say it again. So you have that written down.

Do it again. What was it that you said? It's never going to be quite the same, you know. Well, it's written down that it could actually be exactly the same. Yes. you know well it's ripped out that it could actually be exactly the same yes but delivery the sort of shaggy shambolic you know quality again okay so you're not you ask him to say it again that's like waking that little old sleeping man up in his sleeping cap and being like, hey, can you walk me through? Yeah. You got to give him time to wake up.

But that was about his hand. He doesn't have to write anything. It's not just my hand, Hayes. The whole body's connected, man. Yeah, man. This is part of the story at Cowboy TV is the sort of holistic approach to medicine. This is part of it.

I don't want to get too far ahead of it and spoil anything. No, okay. Then fine. Then if you have, it sounds like you do have a plan. So let's continue. You were in the ad for pine trees. And keep your hands off them. They're pine trees.

You old coyote, old bitch man. You old bitch coyote. Hey, you're a fella. Yeah, yeah, sure are. So please do pick up pine trees and do not let the gentleman coyote send your old bitch. Take it away.

Because I like that smell. Oh, brother, do I like that smell. And how. And brought to you as well by stars. Come to the stars. They're huge. I came for the stars and I'm sticking around for the constellations. And you'll...

You sure are. So, you know, I gotta say something, friend There's something like real shaggy and, I don't know, shambolic about some of the phrases you've been throwing at me Kind of makes me think Boy, oh boy, yeah I take that as a compliment And right back at you as well. These are the kind of sayings that, well, maybe they just fly right over your head like and then at two in the morning, you wake up in a flash and you say, hey, there was something there.

Boy, howdy. And, you know, the human body, the hand and the rest of it, is all sort of vaccination or any sort of shot. Some science whiz kids came up with no thank you. These eggheads over here who don't understand that, you know, from cradle to the grave, the big man has a design on you, and he's made your hand out of the same damn stuff that he made your head, face, and eyes out of. Yeah. It's all the same stuff.

Star stuff. And at Christmastime, we're reminded of that. Wait, did we already watch this one? Hey, this is a repeat of Cowboy TV. Well, it must be. It's the Christmas special is what it is. So, yeah, of course, we watch it every year around this time. You're right, as always.

I just want to express that I'm experiencing kind of an unexpected thing. You get moved a little bit? Getting emotional? The relief that I felt when you started doing the TV thing again. Yeah. yeah you really brought me to a place where like that had become because of what it was replaced with that was something that i really missed and i'm so happy thank you yeah to get back to that because that's really nice almost all of it was clearly just a reference to things that we had just been talking about isn't that crazy it's not isn't that unbelievable it's not content that it's funny because i said i don't want to get

ahead of myself here our conversation would right and that's why we were trying to say i just don't think that's a coincidence no we were like hey we're really stepping on some of the stuff we're about to do in the script but don't don't twist it because I thought you were going to be eating fucking crow, to be honest with you. Like, I was like, oh, hey, is you sure you want to commit to this? Because like, yeah, in five minutes from now, you're going to be really feeling like a fucking dumb. I don't think that's what happened. I don't think you had written stuff about how the hand is connected to the rest of the body. Absolutely.

No, that came from my real life. My hand's tired from riding on the whiteboard. And we just put it into the character. Yeah, and we showed the map on that one. That one's from the lab to the fucking show. And then the one thing that wasn't really connected was the ad for Stars, where Sean said, come to the stars yeah and then bang said yeah come for the stars he said i came for this i came for the stars and stayed for the

constellations which seemed to be like he didn't hear exactly what you had said the first time and like to me that's not a that's not what happens with a pre-written script right no it and it is by design i mean it should feel conversational and sometimes like we are missing each other and because this is but he's also telling the viewers to come to the stars some of this is we've tape recorded you know conversations we just get out in the streets and we just like kind of like rattle people's cages and see what their exchanges are. Yeah. Yeah.

We'll get in their face. We'll follow them. Conversation. That section, I believe, was overheard. You went out and talked to people and you overheard two people doing an ad for stars. And we'll do man on the street stuff and we'll find people doing ads and we'll chase them down we'll pin them down we'll get their their like the random things that they're saying and that was one of those things their wallet yeah we'll steal her stuff well i would i mean like fence it i don't know if there's anything to go back to like it's

like to continue that you you wanted to can to do this like so desperately and now you both seem so tired of it oh wow i could not disagree i mean we're tired in the story we're tired in the story we're tired of the you know from the work we put in, but the, the show itself is exhilarating. Like that's what keeps me going. Yeah. So do you think people have a baby and they're like,

I'm tired. Let's throw the baby away. Well, I mean, I think there are, there's like some, that's it. That was not a yes or no for you.

Yeah. No, I, I, I'm focusing on that. Okay. Wow. I'll answer that. I'll'll answer that i'm happy to answer that no i don't think that people say i'm tired few let's see you want to tell women how to control their bodies what so you're just saying you're making choices for people what they should be doing with their bodies no first of all it all, it's not... And before you accuse him

of changing the subject, I mean, before you even accuse my friend of changing the subject... Talking about vaccinations. Why don't you take a long, hard look in the mirror. Yeah, well,

these cow folk are a different people you know they have a different set of values and they were raised often on the range it seemed just like very shoehorned in the vaccination idea it was like i i don't even remember it okay well because sometimes it just gets rolling and when you're really in the moment yeah you just sort of like are channeling okay you had been talking about like because you were tired you weren't like gonna get vaccinated you weren't gonna let someone vaccinate you or something like that it just like it didn't seem to connect is that what the character said

yeah that's what i'm yeah that's what i'm saying well it must be coming from somewhere yeah you know that stuff doesn't just get invented from thin air how do you work with with brett also like what like what is the the process behind the music is fine brett's invaluable okay so you talk to to Brett ahead of time and like... Right. As you know, Brett wasn't there at the end of last season. And I'm sorry for that.

No, we're sorry. Yeah. It was, you know, all families have their issues. I just needed a little space. Yeah. Sounds like it. We were ready to give you that space. And I don't have to hear about brett's family issue from just feels like you're getting closer and closer to talking about what it actually is and i i absolutely do not need to hear about it okay and my question was

really just how do you work with brett how could you come up with like what kind of music he's going i guess i'd answer your question with another question How could you not? To come up with what kind of music he's going with. I guess I'd answer your question with another question. How could you not? When you find someone like Brett, you know? I meant the process. What's the process for? Yeah. And my question to that would be, how can you even describe the process?

Right? You have to trust it. You trust the process. You ever hear the expression, Hayes, how the sausage gets made? Yeah. Nobody really knows, right? But we're eating it. I don't think that's what that phrase,

I don't think that's what it refers to at all. I think it's the mystery of the sausage. Can I ask you about another expression? I don't think that indicates something that nobody knows what it all. I think it's the mystery of the sausage. Can I ask you about another expression? I don't think that indicates something that nobody knows what it is. It's like once you find out it's like a nastier process than you

wanted to know and you lose your appetite. Can I ask you about another expression? People don't know how it happened. Okay. So this is another expression. I'm curious whether you have heard. Okay. If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole.

If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole. Okay. I've never heard that. I've heard that one. I haven't heard the sausage one. If that's directed at me, I will say this is not an experience I have all day long or really in any other interaction. I've never not had this.

When we have done Cowboy TV, I have never not had some version of this conversation. No, absolutely. When we do this, it's always like this. I admit that. I admit that. Of course, the first few times I thought it was on me. I admit that.

I admit that. Of course, the first few times I thought it was on me. But now that we have done so much work on the product and it is basically ironclad, unassailable, like a watertight story with, you know, it's Joseph Campbell. Characters people love. It's stories that keep people on the edge of their seat. A rabid fan base. I want

my cowboy TV broke the fucking internet. It was and that is part of what has like brought me back to this over and over again as I am like continually shocked at how much people do seem to

love Cowboy TV and they say hashtag I want my Cowboy TV and it is like number one trending every time we do this. And I hope that has something to do with my contributions. I mean like I, you know, I am clearly the content is influenced by the things

that I'm... Well look, we could adjust a little bit. i do want to get back to the story is there something in particular you'd like to hear that we can maybe try to incorporate on the fly i mean it's sort of yeah absolutely i would like to hear what was promised to me which is the cowboy tv characters having an experience of any kind yeah like them like engaging in, like doesn't have to be like a whole adventure,

but like some kind of narrative. I think you're going to be really happy. Great. Okay. Let's, let's, let's, let's continue.

Ah. Hot by the Cowboy TV, yeah huh hot as hell man it's damn hot are we too close to it yeah i think i can feel the leather in my boots starting to shrivel up a little bit that ain't good let's shuffle on back a little bit. Yeah. Let's move away. Alright, now I'm too damn cold. Okay, and I literally stole the words from my mouth. We moved back too far. I'm freezing

back here. Oh, Lordy. The back of my shirt feels like it's made of icicles. I can see my breath clear as the smoke coming from the cowboy TV. That's too much. Should we maybe move up

a little bit? Let's split the difference. Let's you and me split the damn difference and go in between where we started and how far we backed up. Consider the difference split, my friend. Ooh, toasty.

Oh, boy, this is just right. Maybe a little too hot. I'm going to take a half a step back. Yeah. God dang it. I'm too damn cold. You know what I think it might be? God dang it.

I'm too damn cold. You know what I think it might be? It may be a matter of there's no one spot where you can stay the whole night. You're going to want to move back and forth a bit. And maybe where the wind is matters. Yeah, I'm getting a face full of smoke. My eyes are watering. The wind might be part of it.

I'm going to move over to this side. The wind plays a factor. Ooh, this reminds me of my first Christmas on the range. Yeah. Oh, what a time. The holidays. Ooh, and this is brought to you, of course, by sticks. Sticks break them. Sticks. Break them.

Snap them. Toss them around. And, as always, marshmallows. Hmm. Okay. Sometimes it seems like you want to be stopped. So that is part of what I'm responding to by coming in here. Hollywood Handbook.

Be a better you in 2024 with Babbel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works. Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language. And the question that I always get, people stop me and they say like, hey, I trust you. I know when you endorse a product, it's something that you really use and care about. But there's one language that I'm use and care about but there's one language that i'm trying to learn and that's body language so can babble teach me body language yes babble now has visual in-person lessons part of their quick 10-minute lessons that they do for

other languages handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks. Babbel is designed by real people for real conversations, and that includes body-based conversations. What does it mean when you drop someone off after a nice date and they turn around at the door and they take their little index finger and they kind of like draw it towards them. They're pulling it.

What does that mean? Does their finger hurt? I wonder if they spotted a spider web or something. They're trying to pull down the spider web. Yeah. But I've seen this too after a lot of dates and I need and have needed something like babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks like a it looks like an emergency i know i

was supposed to do something or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like almost like police clothes on it may be almost yeah and they're standing in the middle and as i'm driving and i'm cruising they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost and they're really aggressively like pushing it out i'm like am i supposed to drive get out of the car yes or just do it out the window as i'm going that's what i've been doing dangerous yeah but some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners i'm sure babbles tips and tools are approachable accessible rooted in real life situations at which i have all the time and delivered with conversation-based teaching so you're ready to

practice what you've learned in the real world. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, and others. Can't feel good to be others there. Continued to prove Babbel is better. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college. Babbel has over 60 million subscriptions sold. All of their 14 award winning language courses are backed by their 20 day money back guarantee.

Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now get 55% off your Babbel subscription but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash the boys. Get 55% off at babbel.com slash the boys spelled B-A-B-E-L

dot com slash the boys. B-a-b-e-l dot com slash the boys b-a-b-b-e-l b-a-b-b-e-l dot com slash the boys rules and restrictions may apply with babbel we can't promise it'll always be easy but you'll always be glad you did it. Kind of like this podcast, except it is easy for me. Eating better is easy with factors. Delicious, ready-to-eat meals. Every fresh, never-frozen meal is chef-crafted, dietitian-approved, ready-to-go in just two minutes. Speaking of ready-to-go in just two minutes,

Chef Kevin is here with his new show, The Chef Kevin Factor, where he creates fresh, never frozen meals. Now, this is different, Kevin. I just want to establish. It's none of this, like, here's a pile of ingredients. Like, this is the meal. The meal has to be ready.

It's not a recipe. Okay. This is the meal. You cook the full meal for us now okay yeah you don't just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet you're actually doing the cooking and there are 35 different options to choose from every week including calorie smart protein plus and keto which is this it's a little bit of all of them okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long how many add-ons and what are some of

them it's one big add-on and it's you on your bed you're so tired after you eat my meal the the promise is the meal makes us sleepy you've been pushing that so much you're saying that you will be added on to your bed. Yeah. Your bed plus one. That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do. It's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long. A lot of these, I know, give you a ton of energy.

They have smoothies and things like that. This is wrong. Reservation for two? Me walking in my bedroom. What's the second? It's you and your bed? The bed. I got clippy.

Fuel up fast with with factors restaurant quality meals that are ready to heat and eat wherever you are pancakes smoothies and more discover a wide variety of easy options for the entire day like breakfast midday bites and more no we didn't even this is absolutely this is not even up for consideration so let's just hear what the actual meal what was the food i don't want to go to bed it's's very simple. It's one huge chicken nugget. Sign up and save. We've done the math. Factor is less expensive than takeout.

Every meal is dietitian approved to be nutritious and delicious. Head to factormeals.com slash theboys50 and use code theboys50 to get 50% off. That's code theboys50 at factormeals.com to get on the phone with customer service the subscriptions are insidious they're the scourge of our modern life and you never realize what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged i know that i was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from the movie 27 dresses before i found out how much it was costing yes that they intended to send me by the way you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know by like dress 14 15 i think it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses

oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear yeah and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them was it was it was a vinaigrette it was a raspberry vinaigrette it was a french raspberry vinaigrette dressing they'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple months of wasted money and negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20 all you have to do is take a picture of your bill and rocket money takes care of the rest they have over 5 million users and have helped save its members an average of 720 a year with over $500 million in canceled subscriptions.

And that was, I mean, just to be fully transparent, that $500 million, most of that was the dresses. Well, yeah. I mean, you're talking about Hollywood memorabilia. You're talking about, like, ornate gowns, you know, in some cases. And so that was, yeah yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys that's rocketmoney.com slash the boys rocketmoney.com slash the boys hollywood ham i was like i didn't I didn't dislike

the story it was something something was happening the characters moved I think for the first time ever in the history of this quite a few times yeah they were almost in constant movement

I did you know still miss you still do call the fire cowboy tv but there are no more tv metaphors I'm noticing and it seemed like there were opportunities there to say like oh like this action show is getting too intense and like I'm getting like you know it's making me too hot I better back up and like oh now i'm watching like an ice cold drama or something like i don't know like that's bad don't like not that necessarily okay but like that's the kind of stuff that's pretty good i would do that these are good notes i would do that is like the antenna or like the you know it's like interfering with the reception

oh that's good you know like that kind of stuff is like TV stuff. That's actually really good. That's fucking great. And instead it was just... Are you getting all... Did you get it? Yeah. I'm putting it in the script right now.

Holy shit. That's all... I mean, that may be... I hate to admit it. that may be what was missing like it did feel a little bit light in some spots i there were a couple moments where i thought we were losing it a little bit and i don't know if it was because we were moving around so much and we weren't ready for the physical part of it. Yeah. Well, and we don't have... You know, the Christmas special is the first time

that we're working without the books as like a framework. Yeah. So this is us. So we don't have... All the IP that we've been pulling from... What books? Cowboy TV, the book. Yes.

No, Cowboy TV, obviously the popular series. Is it one book or is it a is it a series of books series of books they're all pretty short yeah they're all very short and the book is about two cowboys that look at a fire and they yeah all the books are about that yeah they're a series of one panel like sort of far side style comics okay uh about you know two cowboys sitting around a fire and some of their kind of musings on the the cowboy tv life the size of stars you know stuff like this okay so then it would make a little more sense that you were without this original source material well that's why my hands so tired reference to like things directly reference to things that I,

notes that I was giving and conversations separate from. Yeah, it's taken a toll on us physically having to do the work of crafting brand new stories, having the original author okay. And servicing the fan base. Yeah, I mean, people have an expectation and to say like okay i'm taking over this beloved set of characters and these stories that have become part of the fabric of america i do want so brad at one point did pick up the pace of his guitar

one point did pick up the pace of his guitar playing yeah that threw me as well yeah because the the the action did not change the pace of the action did not change at all and it seemed like oh now maybe they're like going to like move back and forth faster but if anything things sort of slowed down a little bit after he did that. So was that like a miscommunication, like something that you had talked about that was mistimed? Or like what? Like, this is the kind of process that I meant. And I don't know if that has anything to do with like Brett's personal thing, which, again, I don't have to hear any details about. But well, when you've played the same lick for 32 measures or so, you need to pick up the pace.

It felt like it was time. Listen, every family has its issues. Always. You're always going to have that. It's just part of being close to people. These things are going to come up. Yeah, okay, Brett's going to fucking out of nowhere just play some fast shit and whatever.

If that helps him get there, then i want to support that i want to have his back i'm not gonna sit here and chew brett's ass out for throwing off the pace and you know i can't play what people want me to play yeah i'm just not wired that way i gotta play what comes it's inspiration based okay i mean this is really slowing down again even like this part apart i'll say yeah and so i rather than do more cowboy tv stuff today i want if we like look ahead to the next installation if there's like with the new year, a new process. There's some of that in there actually.

There's new year stuff? Yeah. Oh yeah. Would you like to do that now? Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Yeah, let me skip ahead a little bit. Okay, go ahead. Well, I don't know if you saw, but a wrinkly old man just ran by with a banner from last year around his wrinkly old chest.

Well, I surely did see it, and it reminds me of something. This episode of Cowboy TV is brought to you by Tumbleweeds. Well, they go on tumbling by you. Just you go ahead and let them. Don't stop them. Don't get in their way. You get your ass tumbled over. They like getting eaten by the ball of critters.

And critters too. Now, I know a guy who got eaten by a ball of critters. He had the most beautiful kids. They are sad every day when that movie comes on. Well, that's got me now thinking about my New Year's resolutions. Yeah, I made my list too. What's up? We can keep going.

What's up? Well, you just said you were thinking about your New Year's resolutions and then you didn't say any. Yeah, he didn't have any. Yeah, if you say them, they don't come true. Yeah. He was thinking about them them so we do have to stop I do want to say it was smart to just say that the man went running by

I think you might have called it a banner like the sash that you just said it says last year on it yeah because that then you can use it for any success of new years you don't have to like record it again and you know i'm expecting it's like oh it's the old it says 2020 last year if the process is anything like this we're not going to be making any more

no i mean it depends on are you threatening what is that are you a threat no I'm this is like your thing this is like your project that you're like very but you're part owner okay I don't remember like maybe we talked about that at some point

you're like the magic johnson of this okay I don't remember okay and yeah when things are going great, I noticed your fucking tall ass standing up waving at everybody and taking all the credit. And then when we hit a rough patch, okay, and I'm willing to say, yeah, we hit a couple rough patches today. You can't fucking bail out and be like, I'm not a partial owner.

Is that what Magic Johnson, when the team is doing well, you're saying he stands up and waves at everyone? That's right. But then he wants to... When they're losing, he's the fucking first guy on the freeway, man. Fair weather foul. Like, it's fair, you know. Okay, we do have to stop.

Once again, if people would like to see more Cowboy TV, please post hashtag I want my Cowboy TV on all platforms. This is how we know if this is working and whether or not to continue this. I cannot tell you what a difference it makes to various... Wait, you're stopping us? Yes, we're well over the normal episode time. Am I wrong?

I thought this was a full length... Are you fucking kidding me? This is a full episode? No, this is main feed. We have the full hour. I mean, we knew because it was the Christmas special. We said we were going to need to do the entire thing so i smell a rat and i feel like somebody tried to do wait a minute have people heard like people that listen to the main feed have they ever heard cowboy tv before yeah they have they like it yeah cowboy tv

fucking got so big just say something don't just not like you always talk on the show and now you just nod we released the pilot and people lost their damn minds thank you we released on the main thank you i want my cowboy tv hashtag to end all hashtags okay so i guess we're at intermission. So we have a really, like a lot of time left. Okay. So I think this is a great opportunity

to set something up. Have you ever considered adding a, like more, and I'm not me, not for myself. Have you ever considered adding a like more and i'm not me not for have you ever considered and right it sounds like a foxworthy setup yeah okay i do like this have you ever considered that's not what i'm interested i'm not you might be cowboy tv happy cowboy tv wow that's pretty good man this could be really i don't want to take credit for that that's not what i was that's not what i was suggesting at all the uh like bringing in someone like kevin

some kind of like new fresh voice just because kevin is here to be like a new character who's meeting the cowboy tv guys for the first time and like there's some kind of conflict maybe well i could do a different voice. Okay. Well, yeah, let's do that. That's a good idea. Okay.

So not Kevin, but you are willing to do a different voice representing a new character. So this is like big, like, uh, like in cowboy TV. I don't know if I said it'd be a new character. He's going to do a different voice,

a different voice for the same the same thing you've been doing yeah so no on the the answer to introducing a new character is no but you are I have never really had that much of an issue with

the characters with no the I mean with with the characters? No, the characters. I mean, with the voice. Could have fooled me. No, well, the voice specifically I've never mentioned that the voices are bad. I've never thought they were amazing, but they're not. I don't have a problem with the voice.

He's a tough boss, folks. Yeah. This is what it's like. Not going to hold your hand. so i just you so you want to continue now but you will not be introducing any new characters to what do you want kevin to do i mean he could be like a cactus or something that we see but i don't know what that would sound like i was thinking like another it could like the most basic version is another cowboy. I want to be magic. Who has a mysterious story. Maybe he's like on the run from.

The mysterious cactus. And he saw the fire and he needs something to eat. He's hungry. He's been like riding the rain for days. I think I know what you, I think I know exactly what you want. Okay. I think this is going to be good. Okay. Okay.

Well, what are you getting your cows for Christmas? Oh, man, it's so hard to pick out Hey, by the way, friend I like the sound of your voice Well, that's awful nice of yours I just love getting a compliment On my old voice there You know what I'm thinking To get my cows for Christmas

What? What's that, friend? It's hard They got everything in the world they've got everything they need you got to get them something that they wouldn't get for themselves true but that they're gonna use and what and for me more often than not what that means is a magic cactus. Oh, yeah, that's not a bad idea. My cows would never get a magic cactus on their own. Well, if you're getting a magic cactus for your cows, you might be a cowboy TV. Hey, this action show's getting too hot.

Let me back up. Ooh, bird. show's getting too hot. Let me back up. Ooh, bird. It's ice cold in this drama. Oh, no. Let me take another step in. Wind's affecting the antenna here or something. Getting it moving.

Yeah, sure. I agree with you. You'll, you'll, uh, well, let's bring the damn magic cactus in. I agree with you. You'll, you'll, uh... Well, let's bring the damn magic cactus in. I got it here in my knapsack. Well, hello, friends. This isn't the one I bought.

They'll trick you like that. We trick you, you son of a bitch. Oh, damn. And his mouthy, too. I mean, this is better. I mean, this is better for you, Hayes? Like, what? No, I don't like this.

I don't like it. I didn't suggest it. Okay. Exactly what you suggested. It sounded like Kevin. Right, Brett? I mean, it's exactly what you said. Louder for the people in the back. I mean, it's exactly what you suggested. That's not what I said at sounded like kevin's right brett i mean it's exactly what you said louder for the people in the back i mean that's exactly not what i said at all that's it that's

the tweet no it is not the tweet that's the tweet man that's it that's the tweet no it isn't i don't know who needs to hear this that's exactly what you said i suggested that kevin be another cowboy a mysterious cowboy i no one i did not bring up the idea no you said he should be a cactus yes then you said magic and then they said no yes which i did not want to do but i'm trying to be a little more collaborative collaborative the Kevin's voice it sounded like he was just taking not that Sean's old voice was that different from the new voice but it sounded like Kevin was just doing

Sean's old voice that he left the magic cactus thing it reminds me of that movie Crystal Fairy here we go Mr. Movie oh yeah i yes i know a lot about reference yeah mr and i think it's good to like have someone involved crystal fairy reference get a unspool his references right did anyone hear the thunderstorm did i not have that it was the

rain not loud enough pretty magical that the thunder and the fire were happening at the same time the fire sounded like it was louder i didn't pick up that that was actually an issue i had because you were supposed to be mysterious not magical right uh yeah i i may have pooched the intro i you know i i'm keeping so many damn things in my head at this point. It's like... The stuff... I did think the action... I pooched the voice.

Oh, your shit you liked. Oh, he likes his part. I was just saying I thought it was. Surprise, surprise. Oh, that's a shock. Hey, he likes his idea. Well, when I first mentioned it, I was like, maybe this isn't the thing.

But I did think... That it worked? Yes, I thought it worked i agree i fucking loved it i agree so the magic really good like getting the cows out for christmas like are we gonna see you giving the gift to the cat like not if it's going like this i i i agree that that was not like the introduction of you agree that the way the direction you steered us in was actually counterproductive that's not what i'm saying i did not suggest this and i and i really don't like it brother i did so i did suggest involving kevin in some way and I thought... Yeah, and that's the tweet. I think it might have worked better in the way that I had outlined it and not the cactus.

But I have no way of knowing and based on how... Okay, this. He doesn't owe you anything. This site has finally proved what it's worth. This. Hollywood Handbook. Well, there's a reason they call me the March Maniac. I get maniacal around this time of year because March Mania is happening and DraftKings Sportsbook, one of America's top rated sportsbook apps, is giving new customers and maniacs like me

a shot to turn five bucks into $150 instantly in bonus bets with any college basketball bet. Those maniacs are even more maniacal than me, the March maniac. And during March mania, I get a little maniacal. And let me tell you something. The best bet that I'm seeing on the board is one that will already have happened by the time you hear this ad. That's right. I'm here to give you a nonspecific line from a college basketball tournament game, which you will not be able to bet on because the college basketball tournament games that are going to happen after you hear the ad do not have lines up yet. I have to give you a line specifically from today. That's how the lines work today. There are two games taking place, both of which you will not be allowed to wager on.

They will already have happened. San Diego State Aztecs are favored over Boise State. Oh, mama. Hey, I wonder if their basketball court is blue like their football field. Sports facts, that's the March Maniac for ya. Also, the Dayton, Ohio Flyers are favored over VCU. Hey, you know what? I'm gonna go double underdog on that one, cause I'm a maniac.

Okay, have fun seeing the games or checking up on the scores of whether I hit my bet that you could not participate in. Download the DraftKings Sports app and use code THEBOYS. New customers can bet five bucks to get $150 instantly in bonus bets only at DraftKings Sportsbook with code THEBOYS. The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or in west virginia visit www.1800gambler.net in new york call 8778 hope new york or text hope ny467369 in connecticut help is available for problem gambling call 888-789-7777

or visit ccpg.org please play responsibly on behalf of boot hill casino and resort in kansas 21 plus age varies by jurisdiction void in ontario bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance cdkng.com slash b ball for eligibility and deposit restrictions terms and responsible gaming resources. Mania! Life can be ridiculous, but you know what's not funny? Getting ripped off. And Harry's agrees. So what we want to talk about today with... Sorry, you said Harry's or Harry? I said Harry's.

We always talk about Harry's first, and then we talk about you, Clean Harry, who are sort of our new... Noted. Mask guy mask i don't know no taken for this campaign talk about harry's first what we want to talk about is something funny that happened to you recently great a ridiculous or fun situation that you were in okay recently that's the prompt and that'll take us into discussing the product particularly funny the product funny to me or funny to just anyone i i mean do you you feel like there's a difference there like you yeah i mean i've had things happen to me that i suppose you would find funny okay but that you didn't find funny and and you have not really and you have things that have

happened that you would find funny but the rest of the world would not yeah i guess i'm interested in that one that i would find funny yes but that others would not find funny you seem to think that you have like a specific taste when it comes to what's funny or ridiculous that is not i ordered uh um like a scented spray for my pillow to help me sleep at night like a lavender scent okay and uh they accidentally sent me two okay so you understand that most people would not buy that funny or ridiculous but but you but you do i just had a little chuckle about the mix up at the at the shipping uh warehouse harry saw customers getting screwed over by questionable that's a come up overpriced shaving product harry on the come up i decided to do something better instead of charging the same stupid high

prices harry's found their own way double scent bottle beautifully designed razors for a fraction of the price of other big brands except bogo baby exceptional products honest prices i don't is there a bogo as part of this because i don't want to be like talking about no but that's deals that are no but i clean harry punk harry's two bottles buy one get one their deodorant their lotion their body wash their hair gel all very high quality products they all smell great german engineer blades made in their own factory. They stay sharp longer. You get a five-blade razor, weighted handle, foaming shave gel, and a travel cover for just three bucks at Harrys.com slash the boys. Highest customer satisfaction in the shaving industry. No risk trial. Don't like your shave?

No worries. It's on them. Getting ripped off isn't funny. Do you want to hear what happened to me that you might find funny? Yes. Yes, sure. But that you might find yes yes sure but that you didn't yeah so you're attuned to to this stuff i got my foot stuck in the dryer at the laundromat and it somehow turned on and you know that that was something other people would find funny based

on well the responses you were you were getting a lot of people inside that laundromat seemed to find it pretty humorous when my legs started spinning around and flipping me over what happened was i was holding my laundry basket with both hands and i saw oh still a sock left in the dryer so i stuck my foot and tried to pick it up with my little toesies i wear sandals punk and as i'm picking it up i just sort of tripped and my foot got wedged in between there's like slats in there and stuck inside there and then i don't know who somebody pushed the button or what but it turned on and the thing starts flipping over, and I'm flying in circles. Help, punk! Help me, you punks!

Are your clothes staying in the basket, or are you going fast? No, no, no. I'm wearing all of them by the end of the cycle. Get started with a $13 trial set for just $3 at harrys.com slash theboys. That's harrys.com slash theboys for a three dollar trial set well i don't have to keep doing this at all if you want to just do cowboy tv all the way through to the end i always feel like i'm helping a little bit by stopping things down and like giving you a rest scrolling this hell site what do you want to do what do you like

i'm here we can do whatever you want we can keep saying this stuff or no no i'm done saying it okay um let's do let's Cowboy TV and then just stop us again. Should we do a cast reunion? That's a great idea, Kevin. I would love to have like a reunion from the first episode of Cowboy TV when it feels like we were fucking children. We were little babies when we made that show. We didn't know anything. God, we had no idea what we were fucking children. We were little babies when we made that show. We didn't know anything. God, we had no idea what we were getting into.

Yeah, we could maybe recapture a little bit of magic and kind of maybe work out some stuff. It was so raw when we did that first episode. I almost cringe when I watch it now, but there was something there that people connected to. There was magic. It's undeniable yeah and brad if you want to chime in at any point to like kind of before money money kind of tore us apart for that second one the success of this the first one led to some issues and fucking haze that's why we had we had contracts in place that was what happened for the second one i you i thought you said it was a family issue well well yeah we're a family

yeah that was you said this is like family issue you're talking about a contract dispute with the two of you because we're a dispute i mean a contract's a contract you sign it and that's that right and if you signed a shitty deal that's kind of on you but the um you know all families have their issues by the way i'm not agreeing that it was shitty yeah i mean those were his words i thought it was fucking very attractive I was commensurate with your contributions at the time I have no context I was not involved in this conversation at all

have you heard blood is thicker than water yes it involved blood call me old fashioned but I think all contracts should be written in blood well here's the deal so basically Ben and I were fashion, but I think all contracts should be written in blood. Well, here's the deal. So basically, Ben and

I were each sort of equal financial participants. In success, Brett was to be awarded all of my True Blood DVDs, which were pristine, had not been opened. I've never

seen the show. You had one bottle of True Blood. Yeah. Had not been opened. I've never seen the show. You had one bottle of true blood. Yeah, I had the actual drink. Yeah, the drink. The drink from the show. What was the drink? It's like blood drink. It was like a promotional tie-in thing. Yeah.

Which we should try to do something like that with Cowboy TV where we're either selling like sticks or sticks or just a fire. Maybe like a fire in a case. I'll buy a stick. That's a good idea. Fuck, we should have done that.

Nothing, Hayes? I don't, I never know when I, so is, is this the reunion conversation? I don't know if, has that started? Well, Kevin? I would like, we should probably go to set to have the reunion to? I don't know if... Has that started? Well, I would like...

We should probably go to set to have the reunion to bring back all the memories. I'd prefer that, yeah. Okay. So in front of the set... Okay, there's the fire. Wow, the young fire. Hey, it's me.

And me. Oh. Oh, my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh wow. This is crazy. This is the spot, huh? Where it all went down. Right here.

Oh, it's really coming down. Yeah. That's applause. That was... People are loving it It's really coming down with applause You better take your umbrellas out Applause is coming down from all the way up in the rafters, isn't it?

Yeah, sometimes I call rain applause Don't we all? Yeah It's weird growing up by far Don't we all? Yeah, man. It's weird growing up by far. I remember standing in this same darn spot, and the static was giving us frizzy reception, and we had to add another battery to the remote.

A Yule log, that is. A Yule log, that is. You remember anything from that day? Oh, yeah. When there was no power, all we had was a little wind blow on the cords of the cowboy TV to get it charged again. Yep. Yeah. Yeah, it was a crazy-ass day.

I remember watching it. It must have been sweeps week because the... Really coming down now. Flames of Hades were just licking and kissing and hugging on that night sky. Oh, man. My nose is running. Yeah, well. There's a smog in my face. Check and see my nose there, and it's also running.

Boy, it must have been just about here that you turned to me for the first time, and maybe I turned to you, I don't remember which, and said, boy, I'm hot. Yeah. Oh, man, I remember that. Back on the holiday special. Yeah.

And that spot right back there, too, is where we moved to and got cold. It was too icy, that drama. Yeah, not to mention the family drama we had with our collaborator, Britt. Uh-huh. Not too happy about those True Blood DVDs. Nope. And he drank the damn

collectible drink we gave him. Why the heck would he do that? It ruins the value. Why is this the characters? What do you mean? Why are the characters doing this

it's like a reunion like of the show and you're like talking about doing the first episode but like why you never have the characters in the show do that it's like the performers it's like i get what you mean bang and sean yeah i get what you mean. Bang and Sean. Yeah. I get what you mean. We could do the exact same conversation with our normal voice. I don't think we need to do it again. Okay. And also, I mean, I don't know why then Bang and Sean would be talking as if the fire were real and all, but would be saying the same things i would hope that they wouldn't we'd have a little distance from it for sure yeah yeah now that we've

had time to reflect it was sort of brought home to me also in the beginning when you said hey it's me and me in the two different voices how similar they really do sound well every artist has a fingerprint yeah you know there's a little bit of a signature in there well you know you look at goldie hawn this you know a lot of people think the superman theme and the star wars theme sound a little bit alike we have i was sort of like they're hoping this extra time with like we did you know we got we did the reunion show but like i don't know if we really made the use of the but now we are pretty close to like a normal and for a main feed episode yeah okay i mean we didn't really get through the holiday story because you sort of derailed.

Okay. It did. And it has become a holiday. I have no problem with that. But you were talking about it as a Christmas special. And now you have started referring to it as the holiday special. I don't know. Well, that's part of what happens to the Cowboys.

Like they sort of realize that it's a little reductive to say Christmas and that they'd rather celebrate a non-traditional. So like rather than just like here again. They get visited by a spirit. By a god.

Okay, that's like a big... Like an ancient god visits them. That's like a big, big... Yeah, I don't know if it's like an aztec god or like what doesn't say exact lineages what doesn't say the god that they meet yeah okay it definitely doesn't seem judeo-christian in any sense and that happens now like where we are in the in the episode basically we were quite a ways off from it actually okay

then should we skip ahead to it you want to skip ahead to it yes let's skip ahead to that that would be great and then this will be a great way to end okay go ahead this will be great okay have Oh, damn it. He cut me good. I'm bleeding. I'm stuck like a pig. Don't you die on me, you son of a bitch. Don't you die. Ain't gonna be up to me.

Oh, I'm coming home, mama. Oh, you're getting cold. I gotta bring you closer to the cowboy TV. Oh, this is a lot of action in here. Oh, you're burning up. Okay. Get me to the cold drama. Damn that evil spirit

who showed up from whatever. It happened already? That's who cut you yeah well you said skip ahead yeah i i didn't know you wanted like his appearance i thought we were skipping to kind of the end after yeah yeah i thought that was drama 101 i don't know you guys would know better than me i thought yeah start in the middle it's more interesting after it's not the middle like game of thrones start in the middle would you rather do you want to go to like right before his entrance no i well i just wanted to i i guess i wanted to hear that scene the after part

was much more interesting than what we've gotten in the past so i don't want to like i'm you know well that's why i thought you'd like it because if you had heard the part with the spirit it's like it's fake we're pretending but the rest of it is real what I'm saying is what you just heard the whole like I'm dying and stuff that's fake okay yeah

it's fucking bullshit I know gods and stuff yeah no I knew I know it's fake it's not a documentary dude I know gods and stuff. No, I knew. I know it's fake. It's not a documentary, dude. I know that. Obviously, I know that. I know that it's not real.

We've been talking about it. Everything on this hell side is fake. We've been talking about how it's a show the whole time. Like, obviously, I know it's not. We were, yes. I was too. At some point lost track. I did not. I knew it was fake the entire time.

It's okay to admit that you just got sucked in. We admitted that the action drama hot stuff was good. For the first time ever that I was kind of enjoying it and that something more interesting was happening. That does not mean I hot stuff was good. I was like kind of enjoying it and that something more interesting was happening. That does not mean I thought it was real. Okay, I just don't really know what you were enjoying.

I did not think that it was like a real thing happening. Yeah, I don't know. I just don't know what you thought you were enjoying if you think it was or if you know it was fake which it was okay I mean great

like the one time that I like sort of on board with what's happening at cowboy tv I get made fun of for for thinking there's like a real like God that shows up that I don't know you want to worship or whatever so stupid also if you thought it was real then like what you were enjoying was that i

was dying which is like fuck okay i think it was real point taken i didn't think it was real say how you really feel i am that's the tweet retweet retweet quote retweet. Quote retweet. Can't do it twice. Should we do a like talking cowboy TV wrap up show? It's over.

That's been done a million times. Not like this. Not like this. Not like this. Oh, wow. Well, that was quite an episode. An old haze man sure got fooled by the

what went down. Who are you? Which voice is this? Hey, you gave a shit about using fake voices. Now we're using a real voice. That wasn't that real. It was like in between. You didn't want it to be the character? Uh-huh.

What episode? Cowboy TV. Ooh, baby. Really easy guessing. I'd like to borrow the memoir title of a good friend of mine, Mr. Billy Crystal, and say we're still fooling him. And we fooled Hayes into thinking that there was really a God stabbing one of the cowboys there on Christmas slash New Year's.

The cadence is the same as the character, but the accent is gone. I just don't understand who this is. accent is gone. I just don't understand who this is. And it's... You know, am I the only one who's crazy for next season and what's going to happen when we see that? No, sir, you are not.

Good. Hashtag I want my cowboy TV. That's the tweet. Sing it, Kevin. Sing it Kevin Sing it Kevin I'm Michael Jackson and I love Cowboy TV I'm listening to Sean and Bang Rajman

Hee hee Thank you Moonwalk moonwalk That's right Cowboy TV got Michael Jackson himself The king of pop Cowboy TV got Michael Jackson himself. The king of pop. Cowboy Teehee. The original space cowboy.

If people want to hear more Cowboy TV, please post hashtag I want my Cowboy TV on all platforms. Bye. Hollywood Handbook. all on all platforms bye that was a head gum podcast