Hollywood Handbook - The Drinks Quiz (with The Sloppy Boys)

Episode Date: September 7, 2021

Sean and Hayes do their famous weekly drinks quiz with The Sloppy Boys (Mike Hanford, Tim Kalpakis, and Jefferson Dutton). Check out their great podcast here!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast so i'm uh as usual online shit posting right winding people up having like the biggest laugh to myself. And I'm going into all of the, and there's dozens of these things, but I'm going into all the Parks and Rec message boards, and I'm saying, actually, it's pronounced Nick Opera Man. He started on SNL, and that is where he he was discovered by amy polestar right and i and i'm and i'm posting clips of opera man and saying yeah this is nick opera man and uh and it's going well and i'm getting some responses they're engaging and people are actually getting really pissed which is making me really laugh and

there's a knock on the door it's the fbi wow and the fbi comes in and they say the president wants to talk to you and the and there's another knock on the door they've closed the door okay and the president comes in and he's saying you have to stop shit posting this well because you're making people really irate and the country's anger level is getting like out of control so the fbi was just there to say i think they gave him a ride oh okay so they didn't was there any time for them to say like how you should handle it when he comes in or anything like that yeah actually sorry no i was abbreviating the story a little bit they were like the president's coming in he's really self-conscious about his tie like

please tell him that you like his tie because he's been asking-conscious about his tie like please tell him that you like his tie because he's been asking all day and his tie had like um uh it was like the flying toasters from okay and it was really it was really fat you were saying it was wide as hell man it was like because he had his jacket he had his blazer off and tied around his waist okay i think because the tie was so wide that you actually couldn't tell what it was if he had the blazer on like it really took up it was extending beyond even his like rib cage um which whatever i i think it could look good i don't think it looked good on him um but the epi was like make sure you compliment his tie and they were like also like don't mention his shoes okay so that was weird

because then of course that's what i'm looking at too yeah and what was what was going on with the shoes flying toasters as well they were also flying toasters yeah so they matched the tie okay but basically i you know i'm like i'm a good citizen i want to do what's right for the country i said hey i'll stop posting it but you got to admit it's funny and had they they'd read all the posts too yeah i don't know if every fbi guy had yeah one of them i think was pretending to because he was embarrassed that like everyone else had been like actually loving a lot of my shit and thinking that the shit posting was like really funny.

Yeah. And he was like, I could tell like catching up to it. I mean, he was doing a good job. He's a trained federal agent. So it wasn't like so obvious. But I also have a lot of training and so i was noticing like this guy doesn't totally know yeah every or that maybe it's possible that he like actually did read it and like is realizing right in the moment that he actually didn't get it at all he may have been one of the

people that was yeah getting into a flame war with me over the shit posts. Yeah, I think that now that I'm even piecing it together, yeah, my training failed me a bit. I think that is actually what was happening. But we don't need to talk about me meeting the president of FBI all day. We got guests. Welcome to Hollywood Handbook. Hollywood Handbook. The guests are the sloppy boys boys we love to have the sloppy

boys on the show mike tim jefferson uh we never had some of them on before we did have mike tmj i've been on before it is not are we talking now can we can we say hi tmj huh this is such a this is an ongoing thing where people are like being introduced yeah they hear their names they hear like uh we're like talking about them welcome to the show and then they're like is it okay now it's like yes we're like we're nice guys we're not gonna like like an. We're not going to be like, shut up. We're totally nice. I'm not like a fucking asshole, man. Talk on the show.

It's whatever. That's awesome. That's so cool. We feel welcomed. Yeah. It's normal to me. It's normal to me to just be like, talk on the podcast. Yeah.

It's really chill. And you guys have such a great vibe about the whole thing. Thank you. Before we get too chill in here, I did want to ask how much we're getting paid, or are we getting paid for this? Kevin. Kevin, it's really his department more than ours. Kevin, do you want to go on cam for a second?

Do you want to get on cam? He's sort of the money man. Hey, Tim. Hey, everyone. Hey, man. second do you want to get on cam he's sort of the money man hey tim hey hey everyone hey man do you want to have this conversation real quick and we can actually go so we don't wait like because you guys need to just want to hang out like yeah we don't participate in like these conversations at all so i just want to know what what no that'll be we're gonna jump out we're gonna jump out for one second hanging over you at all so let's get that because we're just gonna affect if i stay or if i talk anymore or whatever we're just

gonna go off can't we're just gonna go dark for one second kevin's gonna handle this conversation and we'll jump right back in when it's over but right now we're just gonna go dark okay and so we'll be right back later guys great and yeah Kevin, so Mike was saying that this affects whether- Hold on. Shut the fuck up, all three of you. I saved Hanford's ass yesterday. I was going to pay you big bucks. Yeah. And then I was doing all of this work for Hanford yesterday, saved the recording, which I believe is for your Patreon.

It's for the Patreon. Yeah, I couldn't get my- So- I was having Carl Tartt was on and we had a tough time hearing each other and it was all on my end. I think we can all agree we're even here. Kevin, we've never seen this side of you before. Yeah, but these...

Tim and Jeff weren't there. I have never even met you. It was for our shared Patreon, so we're making bank off of that. Yeah, and he's gone now. Okay. Okay, you can come back, boys. We handled it, boys. It's all good. I don't think anything was handled.

We were yelled at. Oh, Sean looking Oh, they're back. Oh, sorry. Kevin got pissed. Yeah, he really gave it to us. I've never heard him speak like that. But it was still kind of quiet and not super... No, he got loud. He got ugly. Oh, it was like it was still kind of quiet and like not super no he got loud it was actually he got ugly oh it was really loud okay his face sort of like turned into a version of

it i've never seen before it reminded me of that movie it might get loud right okay yeah or like right before when he first started talking it reminded me of the title of that movie and then once he's talking i I was like, it's pretty obvious. He didn't say that, though. He came back in and he said, okay, guys, it might get loud here. My experience with that movie was really interesting because I realized that it is totally up to me. Whether or not that I was in control the whole time. Isn't that nice knowing at

the end it's sort of the lesson oh my gosh i and that basically any every movie could be called that yeah yeah i recently watched white lotus and i cranked it up really loud because i had my air conditioner on and then i was i said you know it's kind of cold in here. I'm going to turn the air conditioner off. Next thing I know, my whole, you know, room, it's like with the White Lotus theme. So loud. And you're like, these people are all being insane. Do you want, do you, Tim, this is just for you. Do you want us to stitch something in for you?

Because we were talking about movies and Hayes said like any movie could be called that might get loud and then you did this white lotus thing which i actually think doing the theme was really funny but it's not a movie so so i just don't know like because if i assume we're trying i love it was current or show i love that it's current is there a current movie that we could use that's what i I'm wondering. Is Free Guy out? Kevin? Kevin? Can you come back for a second?

What's the status of Free Guy? Free Guy, where's that at? Free Guy is August 13th. Do we? Okay, so it's out. Okay. Streaming simultaneously? Kevin, until you go off video, I'm going to keep this on, okay? Okay.

Great. It can come through the USB. And do we want to talk about this? Do we want to make our little announcement? Let's make it. Okay. This is exclusive to our show. We've secured the right to announce this, but

Jefferson? Oh, I'm saying it. Sloppy Boys? No, no, no. We'll say it. I think it's better if we say it. It should come from Rose. For sure. Yes. One of the Sloppy Boys, Jefferson, maybe you heard,

maybe you didn't, he did unfortunately have COVID. He is COVID clear and he is kissing again. Yeah, baby. Kissing, biting. He's been out kissing. How many days now?

Oh, 10 at least. 10 days of kissing. You're biting, huh? And you're biting fannies. Is that correct? Oh, yeah. Anything that can be done with a mouth, I'm doing it. Oh, honestly, I wish that some of those kisses would be on my ass.

Jeff. Tim. Sorry. I'm sorry. You take that off the zoo. We can talk about that. Oh, yeah. No, I do apologize, though.

For real. Anybody else request? Okay. For any mouth stuff. No, you didn't like that. No, you didn't like that one. You wanted to take it off the zoo. Okay. For any mouth stuff? No. You didn't like that. You wanted to take it off the Zoom. But you do want other requests.

Well, the door's open, so I guess... I guess, look, I don't want to get snapped at the way you bit Tim's head off earlier, but I wouldn't mind if you started sucking them toes. I'd take these little piggies out for for a ride yeah well i didn't say anything he's sucking his own toes or your toes dem toes yeah dem dem toes are mine those toes are his i gotta say all this this toe talk this this episode is podcast is going to be a hit in the tarantino household my god and that's a movie guy so you could have done maybe a

tarantino movie before yeah yeah yeah so you do know movies i know pulp fiction inside i never thought he didn't i never thought he didn't i i wanted to just you know obviously i want people to subscribe to your thing right uh now uh the the sloppy boys know this but i'm currently reading the uh once upon a time in hollywood book okay he wrote it he wrote it yeah so i'm reading that now but me and jeff already know that so yeah they don't have to listen well they don't know this i'm 133 in. You guys want to jump off video? Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, guys. Jefferson, you want to get out of here? You're 133 pages in.

133 pages in? How many pages in total? Boy, I want to say 399. Fast read. Very quick read. And you're exactly one-third. Yeah, I think so. If it is, in fact, fact 399 i would love for somebody to check that out on the amazon or something and and a lot of stuff is different

in it it's uh it's not very different some parts are the exact same but they like spring off into stories backstories about people i'm sorry mike i couldn't help it over here uh what what is the font looking like inside that book uh times new roman clap pretty classic great and the print i got for some reason the the words seem to be shifted off to the side there's a there's a big on the left there's a big big gap all right thank you continue this will be fun because now we've got oh we had everybody for a second we've all seen a lot of um books become movies but what other movies like like mike is saying should be a books yeah what what movie should be a books um it'd be of books or yeah um i don't uh probably kill bill okay that could be two books

yeah if the movie's any indication that one could be two books yeah it's it's a it's that's the perfect indicator i would say say that I could... I mean, Jackie Brown was a book, but they could make two books. I think probably the movie that should probably be a book most of all is Burn After Reading. Thank you. Because I didn't even actually understand why any movie is ever supposed to be called that.

Yeah. There's a lot of those book of eli and so that's actually another great example yeah like why would you ever why is that a movie yeah why is that a movie is pizza hut still doing book it because after i finish this one i want to get down there and get a free personal pain let's talk about uh this thing you do the show you do the sloppy boys patreon.com slash the sloppy boys you talk about a drink so you don't know if you don't know if pizza hud's doing book it anymore i can't i like i like it just we have a certain amount of things we have to get done on the show we can't take like every detour if it's something that sounds like funny like this isn't the one time in hollywood novelization like i understand that you're used to like just following springing on into some passes by and we learned their like history and it's actually kevin you want to get in here hey gang kevin can we go a little long i feel bad now to

hanford he obviously has has a funny Pizza Hut bookie thing he wants to do. There's some kind of backstory there. Can we go a little long? Do you have extra time? I'm available. Okay, great. Is there a segment that we should bump that you guys do have planned? The credits?

Yeah, we got to get to the credits. We can squeeze the credits off to the side actually so that'll just be in the corner of the zoom we gotta do the drinks quiz which I think would be perfect for these guys you were saying though but you were promoting our podcast which I shouldn't have

cut you off on because that's so important to us so every episode we do this thing like called the drinks quiz. Because what you actually have as a drink actually tells you so much more about a guest than like, oh, what's your job? What do you do for work? Totally. Oh, like who's your mom and dad or whatever?

Everybody talks about their your mom and dad or whatever everybody talks about their fucking mom and dad yeah and for the record it is it's donna and david kelpakis for me but that doesn't if that and on any other show on any other show we'd be like oh wow like oh okay both d's oh double d's like you know and that's five minutes but like on this show it's like we don't even do that you know we do we if time permitted we do a little bit of hanford's bucket thing but we do the drinks quiz mainly the bucket thing is pretty much done i just need an answer if it's happening or not kevin are you on this like I am worried that we aren't actually done with this. And so have you been following up?

They're enrolling right now, Michael. Would you like me to? Yes. Would you like me to enroll you? No, I think I'm probably too old for that. You can enroll as a parent. You want me to enroll for your parents? Yeah.

Let me think about that. And then before the end of the show i'll let you know okay then it might actually be interesting like now i feel like we should be talking about who everyone's mom and dad is yeah that actually janet and beau hanford okay tim you don't mind well j uh b and B and J, that's a drink. That's right. Yep. Yep. Yeah. But we're not going to.

We're not going to do the whole thing. We're not going to do a whole like BJ thing. Like, oh, these are BJs. You guys. Yeah. Because that would not do it. I mean, another show would have a fucking field day with that. Jesus. Any other show.

Any other show. Any other show. This show, we do the drinks quiz uh and i can just get right into it great great cool yeah great okay first one is first drink ever of any kind can i stop hayes now i feel like we have two of these guys parents yeah okay and one of these guys we don't have their parents okay yeah yeah i mean i can get mine out of the way really quick i was raised by tv yeah so that's just one okay tim tim you know mine i'm i'm surprised i don't well i i'm blanking but i think it would be funny if like i Double D and then Mike was B and J.

If your parents were like six and nine or something, I would be like, that's crazy. Does Mary Ellen and Dave do anything for you? Oh, it's the spot, baby. So three. There's three of them. Yeah. Mary, Ellen, and Dave. Okay.

So you got the menage a trois happening. Yep. And get this. Not two dads, two, and Dave. Okay, so you got the menage a trois happening. Yep. And get this, not two dads, two moms. Yeah. Wow. And Ellen is it degenerous? And one dad. Yeah.

Makes you wonder how that works. Yeah. I really, yeah. To me, that's the good kind of threesome. Yeah. No shit. threesome the fun way i think both can be good the other ways work i wouldn't mind the way it's exhausting the other way i get so fucking sleepy kevin huge just come back on for a second hey guys do you know either do you know either

of my parents names yeah tom and sue the the first one is correct tom's right and so if you know his name then why are you so late sending him my checks for this show the money goes to him and then he disperses it to me okay so if you know his name maybe you can write on a check every once in a while and is this it's like a conservator situation are you consented to this hayes do you like that arrangement or should we do totally i love it it kicks ass okay i don't like having anything in my pockets right yeah it changes his profile like it's all about the lines for him he needs really clean lines it changes the way i it changes the way i walk in a really significant way well and it's in a dangerous way because you swing one leg all the way around and then if

you have to go downstairs or anything you're tripping yeah and bully holds me upside down shaking me around and i'm like sorry got nothing for you head back to camp yeah all right kevin go off cam so this uh we do every episode we do the drinks quiz. Great. First question on the quiz is first drink you ever had any kind of drink? Any drink and first one.

Go. Is it alcoholic? Any kind. Breast milk. Okay. Yeah, I think you came up with that one fast. They all, wow, okay. It's pretty weird for me. Parrot Bay.

Parrot Bay first drink. Yeah. Yeah. I agree, it's weird, yeah. Yeah. It's irresponsible, I think. I think it was more of a, it was like a spill. Parrot Bay. In the hospital was like a spill. Parent bae.

In the hospital. A big spill. Yeah. Somebody's walking by. I was headed for the titty, and somebody was walking by. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Somebody, you know, there was like a spill on the floor or something,

and they slipped, and then a little bit of parrot bae went in my mouth. Is it true that bae was spelled B-A-E? Yeah, is it true that bay was spelled b-a-e yeah is that true because i i was too young to remember most of this stuff most of it so i actually have something was spelled yeah i couldn't even smell back then to be honest you didn't keep the bottle it wasn't keeping any i mean the first drink ever yeah oh maybe the parents wanted it you know yeah well that's true they got six hands yeah at that age i didn't i didn't have a lot of agency back then you know uh we've talked about now you're with yeah i had not signed with anyone when i was a baby it was god it's so crazy to think about i i was unrepped like all

through grade school all through high school as a toddler i only had a manager yeah and then yeah i don't i don't think i don't think i had any agency that's how that's how they get you to when you're When you're basically a little baby or just older than a baby. They're like, oh, you'll actually really need this. And then you get into middle school, you're like, why am I paying this person? Right.

I have to give him 10% of my fucking Legos or whatever? Yes. Now I can't build the pirate ship. Yes. Well, now I can't finish it because I had to give them

a steering wheel. Just because I have to give them away. Right. So did you have, in that case, you had 10 bags? You would have nine bags of chips.

Right. My lunches growing up was just chips. The Lay's family, pretty much. That's one bag, though. A lot of people, it's two bags.

That's pretty good. Well, I had 10 and I had to give one away. Yeah, well, it's better than something. True. It's way better to have ten bags. That's enormous. Ten bags of fun size, like the small snack chips.

Oh, so there's only a couple chips in there. Yeah. It's a lot of air. You ever open one of these things up, and you have to hold half of the air. That drives me crazy. It's nuts. I see these You ever open one of these things up, the whole half of it's air. That drives me crazy. It's nuts. I see this bag and I'm thinking, I'm going to eat so much chips.

This better be full to the very top, I say. And you get home and the whole car ride home, you're so excited and you open it up. You're like, well, what did I actually just pay for? Now I'm mad. Well, I assume it's so dense with chips. Yeah. And it's maybe all of one big thick chip in there

that's fucking sucks because i i in my kitchen i have like all these bags of like uts and i hadn't i haven't opened them yeah and i and i was honestly in this moment kind of thinking like well these are going to be fucking filled to the whole brim yeah I'm gonna and I like was planning to invite almost my whole neighborhood over here to share one bag of it yeah I mean if I would I would save yourself some time and just transfer those all to the trash can right now yeah yeah because I'll tell you when you open it what it's full of is us brand air air. Get a big whiff of that. That's what you paid for. And this

my first drink was Barks. And same thing. Not just Barks, all these sodas. You open it up, it's like maybe a quarter of the way full. There's

almost no soda in there. Yeah. Any barks you open, your hair sort of blows back. Very long, loud release of compressed air. They're like, we have to keep the soda fresh. What soda?

Yeah. One fresh sip? Is it really What soda? Yeah. One fresh sip. Is it really worth it? Yeah. Fucked up. Yeah. Second question on the drinks quiz. Should I go? I don't need to.

You don't need to. You don't have to go? You said your first drink. Oh, yeah. Sure. Absolutely. Yes. Sorry about that.

I thought you had it. No, I don't care. I've heard it so many times. But yes, go ahead thought you know i don't care or i just heard it i've heard it so many times but yes go ahead yeah i don't have to do it every episode no go ahead okay water pond water pond water did you grow up near a pond not that no he his family yeah like has a certain set of beliefs and it was basically like instant baptism um yeah not even the cord wasn't even cutting you've heard you've heard like a water birth uh-huh yeah it's like a pond birth or something yeah it was in a pond pond water birth yeah yeah very brackish and so is is he a little bit a little bit i actually don't know what the word brackish means

well ask him yeah you're looking at it. Okay, I think I get it. Yeah. Hollywood Handbook. Eating better is easy with factors. Delicious, ready-to-eat meals. Every fresh, never-frozen meal is chef-crafted, dietitian-approved, ready-to-go in just two minutes. Speaking of ready-to-go in just two minutes, Chef Kevin is here with his new show the chef kevin factor where he creates fresh never frozen meals now this is different kevin i just

want to i just want to establish it's none of this like here's a like a pile of ingredients like this is the meal the meal has to be ready it's not a recipe okay this is the meal yeah it's not a rescapi okay this is the meal you cook the full meal for us now yeah you don't just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet you're actually doing the cooking and there are 35 different options to choose from every week including calorie smart protein plus and keto which is this it's a little bit of all of them okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long how many add-ons and what are some of them it's one big add-on and it's you on your bed you're so tired after you eat my meal the promises the meal makes us sleepy. You've been pushing that so much. You're saying that you will be added on to your bed.

Yeah. Your bed plus one. That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do. It's supposed to help you stay a lot of these. I know give you a ton of energy. They have like smoothies and things like that. Reservation for two. Me walking in my bedroom.

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but now go ahead yeah no that was good because on the on the second time it really hit me um yeah it settled in a little deeper i was thinking uh for me it's my wedding day wow that's really nice no one we've never gotten that before i most because that's mine too yeah my wedding day yeah huh that's how i got the idea yeah it was i said give me one of these yeah baby seeing on your wedding day like seeing everyone having so much fun and knowing that i wasn't invited which whatever but it was actually one of the greatest experiences at the time i didn't think it was at the time i was but in your loss sure but it makes you want to be a better man you don't grow on the mountaintops you grow in the valleys and you know that day you brought me to

my fucking knees tim and uh and i'm here to thank you because i rebuilt myself so much stronger and i said i am never gonna let that happen again what was what was the thinking behind not having anything to drink no option on your wedding day on your wedding drinks weren't a part of it at all well it's like you know how you have you ever purposely not had anything to drink for a whole day so that then the next day you you're when it hits your lips, to quote Will Ferrell. The good sir himself. Yes. Yes, the good sir.

If you haven't had anything to drink all day, you're all dehydrated. And then when you ever have that, you take a sip of water and you're like, oh, my God. This is the nectar of the. It's really good. Yeah. Well, I had... My honeymoon was the next day, and when is a better time to have a heightened experience

with your new partner, you know? Right. Yes. Trying to stack the deck a little bit. Right. Chugging water. Right. I also, on the wedding night,

I don't need to go and... Jogging water. Right. I also, on the wedding night, I don't need to go into the detail. I think we hit our quota for sex talk. You wanted your bride as dry as possible. No, it was more that, let's just say as dehydrated as I went into the honeymoon suite uh-huh i was a little more dehydrated after the act oh oh god yeah jizz is liquid right like oh yeah oh yeah if you're if you're doing it right oh yes, yes. Yeah, ideally. Yeah.

No, it's... Well, that would be something if it was a solid, like a shaft. Or a gas. Like a perfect plaster. Yeah. Like a pocket pussy of the inside of my boner. That's what I'm thinking, yeah. Yeah, it would shoot out of you like an icicle or just a perfect cylinder like lead from a pencil so it's a yeah like a good and plenty

but like the longest long good and plenty urethra yeah no it's supposed to i mean like it's supposed to run like a babbling brook like it's i don't know if i agree with that what do you what do you mean it could it could uh-huh i don't want i don't want and in part this show is educational i don't want people to think like mine doesn't run like a babbling brook there's something wrong with me mine explodes you know my bursts out of you know my mine hits the goddamn fucking wall yeah like sure i then i go they go am i do i need to go to a doctor no no go to a doctor no you don't have to go to a doctor except to brag your thumbs on the end of it you have to go to a doctor except to brag your thumb's on the end of it you have to go to a doctor the doctor's gotta like this like move your thumb away yeah yeah that'll be nine hundred dollars yeah right yeah right yeah health care isn't isn't over that is broken it's broken the system the health care system yeah well nine hundred dollars to move my thumb

out of the way so that you know so that it trick trickles instead of yeah shoots and people that say that like the health care system is broken like even you do something yeah like you you like you make a different kind of medicine right you know people that complain about this it's like okay what are you doing i don't see no solutions literally just this isn't i don't like the way this works and you go oh okay where's do you have a medicine for me and they'll like we'll have nothing you start going through their bag they're like hey stop it's like but you're the medicine guy right so i must there must be something in your bag i can take they're like hey that's mine and it's like oh really oh so now what i would have to

buy it from you well that's the same system we have you have to pay for the medicine so unless i can take something out of your bag right now for free and that is my medicine now then otherwise you're the same system we have but worse yes because of all your preaching does that it's so frustrating and and is that effective when if you do when you do that to people do they seem to have kind of like be a moment of change for them um i i would say i've gotten all kinds of different responses some people are not ready yet some people are they don't want to learn you know they don't want to improve they want to stay you know with their blinders on sheeple well horses really are who wear blinders

oh yeah um horrible horrible horse horrible or bojack yeah very good yeah bojack his are more about like emotional and so depressed yeah and he has to go to therapy. He feels awful. I just watched that whole series just waiting for him to lighten up, snap out of it. Cheer up. Just keep waiting. He turned into a skeleton.

Wait for BoJack Horseman lighting up. Here lies Tim Kalpakis, right? Yeah. This pile of dusty bones. The long bearded cadaver man. Right. So we have one out of three most amazing non-drink experience. Was it amazing or exciting?

It was amazing the entire time. I never said exciting. I'm not trying to put that on you like you were lying to us. I know that. I know what I said. It's written down. We've done this. Not every episode.

One of the great benefits of a podcast, Mike, is we're actually recording this. So it can be... Look, no one's going to be pissed if it's an exciting non-drink experience. We're not going to be mad. Yeah. No, you'll look... Didn't say that. Not what I said.

You will look the fool because so many people have done it and been able to understand the question. My most amazing and exciting drink experience was I was on a plane and I was sitting

in first class. I was doing a, I got bumped. It's just one of those things that happens. I was in the right place at the right time. And it was a Delta flight. I'm in first class. I'm doing a connection in the Phoenix airport. And before we got there, so in first class,

I don't know if you guys have ever flown up there. You get a free drink, as many free drinks as you want, but I was keeping it rained in so I'm pretty rained in as in like you didn't have any drink no I had this is where I'm getting I had a drink but I wasn't

like just abusing the system is there a ruling on seems like huh this doesn't sound to me like a non i know but experience whether or not you're done i mean for my purposes you are done because you have admitted that a drink was if not a huge part of the experience at least involved like the the drinks came up at all i do want to i want to hear the rest i do want to hear the rest can i can i tell you can i admit something right now

uh-huh i wonder what it's going to be all this back and forth about i was not paying attention to what the question was okay you were you were focused on amazing versus exciting aspect right and and not even the non-drinking part. Not even just a couple words over from the question. No, I was not paying attention. I did not pay attention to this. I think that's big of me to admit. And the whole conversation that we had

about Tim not having any drinks involved in his wedding. That's why I was lost. I was lost during that. That's why he has a drink. You can see why I repeat, you know, why I was lost. I was lost during that. That's why it's a drink. You can see why I repeat, you know, why I say it twice for stuff like this. Right, and it got stepped on, didn't it?

But I do, now I have Now I'm sort of freaking out because I'm freaking because like Sean was saying, this is recorded. Yeah. It is recorded, but I'm sort of an audience proxy a lot on this show. I'm sort of living the listener experience, and I am so invested.

Gotcha. It's true. I want to hear the rest of the first class story, and maybe it'll apply to one of our other questions. There are a few more questions. Well, then I'll tell my non-drinking story that was exciting. the plane i was in the front seat you know in the drinking having a champagne and the plane took a nosedive and now i've stopped recording for some reason uh wow let me take care of this i and just kevin just so you know i was actually accidentally not recording for the first i don't know how long because I was unable to time it

because I wasn't recording. Kevin, are you there? Hey, guys. Just taking notes. Great. Kevin, just so you know, recording totally fine on my part. Yeah, me too. I've been recording the whole time, weirdly.

Thanks, Sean. I am recording again. Okay, so I'm back to record and I just want to check in on my level of investment here it's a little less than it was before the whole recording last time it was a little less than it was last time we checked in I think also

maybe it was a new detail I got that the plane took a nosedive yeah the plane took a nosedive yeah so I'm that was exciting for a nosedive. Yeah. The plane took a nosedive. Yeah, so I'm... That was exciting for me. That was very exciting and amazing. Now. Scary. Scary, too, but, you know...

I guess I didn't think it would be scary. I guess I didn't think the story was going to end up being scary, and that's why, just having that extra little detail, I sort of stopped caring. Finish it but i i don't care that one's done i think i think it is done and now i understand actually the clarification about exciting versus amazing because the idea of having that happen and then afterwards being like

amazing right it's like that's that feels that feels totally wrong they they leveled out and i stood up and i said that was so exciting wasn't I stood up and I said, that was so exciting, wasn't it, everyone? And they said, yeah, it was exciting. It was amazing. It was scary. To adventure with your champagne. Right, right. So now my other non-drinking story. Basically the same setup.

Your first non-drinking story. Yeah. Basically the same setup. I'm not in first class. I'm back in coach. Not drinking, but the plane I was on also dealt a nosedive. Just a nosedive and then a level out. Yeah. It just happened a couple of times.

None of the masks dropped. There was no pressure lost in the cabin okay so i guess all we really know is that the cause of this happening had nothing to do with whether or not you were drinking i just happened to be either drinking or not drinking i've got versions of both and that's i fucking love science yeah yeah well it wasn't what you just and what you did in that moment yeah was science the shit out of that plane science verse i'm not exactly sure i follow science verse and then you fill in basically anything on the other side of that i'll take science

yeah easy one and uh jefferson yes oh the the the most amazing most amazing most amazing most amazing non-drink experience well you gotta probably from someone who's already gone through it and had a terrible time yeah non-drinking you had a good totally you know i had an awful time he had an amazing time good time yeah i just feel so like he had an exciting time that he tried to shoehorn into the amazing uh subheading there i'm just so pissed at myself for not uh paying attention this podcast is taking a nosedive that's a that's a big yeah that's a big thing in my life i need to pay attention more when people are speaking to me and i you should level us out here jefferson airplane all right well i you probably

all know this story this this would be the day the day of my big victory uh the day i won edward 40 hands oh boy this is a this is a train wreck that is so drink centered what are you talking about the okay we'll describe edward 40 hands for people for listeners who don't know all right this is kind of a dumb like college game you've probably played it before i'll describe edward scissorhands so they have some that actually that could be good and also and tim for you that's a movie thank you there you go buddy dump that in edward scissorhands is about a robot with uh scissors on his hands i don't know if he's a robot i don't know he is he's he's a he's a he's a boy no he's boy. No, he's half man, half... No, they wind him up. This is what the movie is about, though.

No one can figure out if he's a robot or not. The reason I say I'm so hard on this no robot thing is they never opened his skin up to see any type of circuitry or metal. I think that doesn't even settle it. I mean, you know, there are movies where they do open up

skin and if you open skin you saw one gear yeah he's got gears you're not gonna say this is a robot he's got he does have gears there are people who have pins and metal plates for all kinds of reasons yeah but he's got scissors for hands and he runs on gas uh-huh uh yeah i mean that's a robot that that that does point being sounds sort of robot he can't touch anything he can't go to the bathroom all right because he'll get electrocuted yeah because you can't he can't deal with his urinary organs with the scissor hands well so are they robot pieces it is a robot then why did they make him have to pee so much it's i think it's he's expelling oil he pees oil you got to take it up with vincent price is that who it was yeah it might help to actually explain who that is.

He's an old man. He's a vampire man from the olden days. They called him in for building this robot. And so the point is he can't pee. And neither can you. Wait, what happened? The movie called him in for building this for building this robot i didn't know that i don't know like the story behind this movie's called edward scissorhands it recalls

for a robot you're an old vampire man you probably built a frankenstein at some point you come in and you build this robot we can get on with the movie okay i didn't know that i mean you love this but you you played a whole game about it. This is all just to try to get to the 40 hands thing. Yeah. You understand. Sure. So just like I said, he can't pee because of the scissor hands.

And nor can you when you replace the scissor hands with two full malt liquor 40 ounce beverages. Okay. So you hear what you're saying? Come again? Like those you're talking about drinks. It's very drink centric. That's drink. The story.

It doesn't matter if they're malt or not. Yeah. Was that the issue? Which we didn't say. I'm not sure we should have to. Mike, what did you drink in first class? I feel champagne, but I feel like this is... Not malted. Not malted.

I feel like this is a flaw of this game because now two out of three people do not understand the rules of this game not a game not a game necessarily question uh you know well quiz drinks quiz right it's a quiz and and i'll say this if you were the only three people who'd ever taken the quiz right man would i be open to this line of discussion unfortunately Unfortunately, this is episode 700. We've never failed to do the drinks quiz. Yeah.

Well, I understand this is just a way to get people talking the way an improv scene, they need a suggestion. It's just a prompt. But it's very frustrating on mine. This is going to get people talking already. I didn't know there were so many hard and fast rules. I't know that was this was kind of your guys thought this was more of a casual hang yeah yeah i guess society has rules like i think even a casual hang there are certain

parameters you're meant to operate within huh um it's a lot you know it's a larger conversation like i i guess you don't you don't necessarily have to announce the rules of like hey while we're hanging out like go you know keep keep your dick in your pants like well the rules of this right well i'm talking to you but if you did it i would go like hey let's stop down like as much as this is a casual hang can you put can you put that back right so i mean well no wait no i do want to i like i want to stay on this because this has this has got me thinking a little bit about tolerance and uh when you like when jefferson is like telling the story of like the the first drink he ever had of any kind like telling that yeah his his parrot bay experience yeah someone spelled that when he was a baby that's like edward in the neighborhood, grooming the dog's hair, and doing the topiaries,

the, like, magical topia areas, and the neighbors are like, oh, like, this we like. Like, this is a version of Edward that we'll accept. Yeah. But then, when he's surprised

by Jim, and he cuts Kim's hand, and he flies into a rage, and he destroys the topiaries now suddenly edward is unacceptable to them this this person who they had embraced a robot rather who they had embraced earlier as being you know a member of their community makes one mistake uh that was unintentional and hurt no yes did someone get hurt yeah yes they did kim got hurt her hand got cut that wow is making me look i'm also looking at should the second question on the drinks quiz require that you leave drinks completely out of your answer right right or is that perhaps i think it should be on there the next one if we move it to three or four the next question is

about drinks oh great oh great so we're back into drinks that's great yeah and if you want a quiz where it everything it's everything is about drinks we haven't we haven't heard that before we haven't heard that criticism but a lot of people just come on the show and like i think are scared and like just like want to do things just be like straight down like just want to do well yeah don't rock the boat at all yeah so we specifically we didn't ask you guys for the questions in advance because we wanted to be cool and roll with it yeah that's our agents yeah kind of fighting us in the ass yeah right now and hayes really you know it wasn't an argument but hayes really wanted to give them to you in advance he said i think that hamford's gonna struggle with you know some some of these yeah because of all of his flight stuff and his nosedives and well

just because of a lack of uh sort of uh attention you guys were right i mean you said it's a it's a casual hang and like you know i don't want to be uptight like what it is it's like it's it's about choice right yeah yeah it's about choice well i just going back to the casual hang you were saying earlier about if a casual hang there's sort of you don't state the rules but there's just rules i wish you know hayes just now was telling us all about the ending of uh of uh not the end scissor hands a big part of this for me i who's never seen the movie inciting incident for i have never seen the movie so so it's usually customary to say you know

spoiler alert yeah uh is is which i don't think when i hang out with people i don't say hey we're gonna hang out for the next uh hour say spoiler alert if you're gonna talk about movies that you know i have not don't know i haven't seen but you did have a strong opinion about whether or not edward citizen hands is a robot yeah okay you should see the end because he survives in the snow oh see well i think he is a robot i think you and I are bumping on this idea of like what's acceptable for a conversation in the spoiler alert and

it's fine I'm not going to see it I don't need to see it now the next question is about drinks and so maybe that's maybe that's the issue I can see why your show is about like it's uncomfortable territory for you you just get a little bit outside of it.

Honestly, this next question about drinks, you mentioned it's starting to make me thirsty. Next question. Thank you, Tim, because it was feeling actually really tense in here. I didn't feel tense at all. I hope he's doing well. Me neither.

Well, you were making me uncomfortable. It's my podcast, like i'm doing great the next question is put a finger down put a finger down if you have this drink so you have to yeah oh it's what you do this with put a finger down this drink addition yes okay pee pee if you had if you put it in your mouth and swallowed it or just put it in your mouth Sean's thumb went down that's not a finger

it's a digit okay okay Michelob yeah oh I thought you said you never had pee pee this stuff you ever had this stuff oh he's oh speaking ill of nickelode no i like it i like oh okay

and juice wow everyone has had juice huh wow everyone has had juice huh sorry what am i supposed to do sorry i know we've done this every time every time it's put a finger down if you ever had had the drink yes and so this yes this i've never he's doing all the he's doing all the fingers we talk about this every time i've had a i've had it a lot i've had a lot of tension is that he has had so much juice that the game is effectively over and he wins well i've had different juices as well

oh is this whoever gets out first wins yeah and so i had no idea this was a like a competition i thought would that have changed how you play would you have said that you that you drink pp just to win yeah i would be every single one winner okay well sean did that and now sean's pinky is up to go he's kind of game's over you can all put your hands down the game's over the drinks quiz is over because of all the juice? Because he had juice? Because he had so... I've had it so many times as well. Right.

So many times. It's moments like this that I kick myself for having only ever had one type of juice one time. What kind? Cran. This is also a moment I'm kicking myself. Easter. Oh, cranberry juice.

That's good. That's one of my faves. I'm kicking myself for not lying about the P. I'd be up winning. Yeah. Charlie Sheen actually had a whole thing about winning. Okay. Talk about this.

Talk a little more about this well uh he would say it um okay and he had what he would hashtag it he said tiger blood yeah okay right yeah that's a drink he was married to denise richards okay yeah and he was in platoon yeah well that's a spoiler right there uh i work like i noticed you haven't been doing any what kissing like the whole like just when you kind of said at the beginning that you were like out kissing again that you were out like yeah doing stuff like doing all this mouth stuff i haven't seen you yeah do any of it yeah i have plans right now i'm doing a podcast people kiss on this show who do i got here i got might get in here you don't you don't have to i'm like they're not

saying you have to kiss you're calling me a liar your co-host i'm just saying you don't you don't have to i'm like they're not saying you have to kiss you you're calling me a liar your co-host i'm just saying you're saying i won't kiss okay if you want i'm not gonna say you you you can't but you kiss something got kind of defensive about whether or not he knows how to kiss this guy and drinks this it's like he kissed his trick i know what that's all i got man can i ask kind of a fun question oh oh yeah holy sure yeah let me just get out of here yeah i'm just gonna i'm gonna go dark too and this is actually gonna be i'm done we're over are we over an hour kevin i wasn't recording for the beginning just shy so this will actually be perfect this will take us over okay huge is true sean and i are gonna go you're gonna go yeah we're gonna go gone we're just gonna be gone uh and kevin's gonna close this out and he he's

got a fun question for y'all so thank you so much for doing the show thanks for being here you guys thanks guys thanks for having us great to be on thank you really big fan of all you know the whole like robot stuff that you guys do that movie that we watched yeah good hey fellas what do you got what morning after a sloppy boys recording was the hardest morning after a sloppy boys recording because we record one song a night and this would be the morning after yeah not the drinking in the

podcast you're talking about the hangover oh okay yes I see you gotta understand you're talking to a band and the podcast at the same time yeah now it's kind of the Miley Cyrus Hannah Montana effect does she still do

are there new episodes with Miley starring in Hannah Montana I don't think why would Miley have anything to do with someone named Hannah Montana ever notice that they're never in the same place at the same time I am gonna cut this off I am a little

sorry I noticed that they're never in the same place at the same time. I am going to cut this off. I am a little. Oh, yes. So I was. I was actually. I didn't know you guys were still going. No, I was. Was that for your next Zoom call? I didn't know you guys were still going. Yeah, it was like I tried to get in before that.

It was going a little too well. Right. We have our show and then kevin comes in right it's like right there with the miley cyrus hannah montana effect that carries over into one of mike's famous like his beloved tangents it's like it's like clicking and then where we can bear we barely got through the drinks quiz i wouldn't even say we got through that i i we did that was it no that was it that is the drinks quiz so three questions so so we did get through it three almost we never got an answer from jefferson on the non-drinks thing and yeah we did and i'll admit i'll admit for my part that um i may have cheated on the uh put a finger down how many game that we did how many types of juice

and how many times have you had i haven't uh you know i i you know i really for me it's mainly been brackish pond water yeah he's never of, he's never heard of juice. Yeah. I still have to figure out what the word brackish means. And I'm going to do that right after this pod. Mike, we have like one minute left. If you want to do anything for book it. Yeah, I'll do that when I, I'll sign me up.

Not for the parenting side. I want to be the, I want to earn the points and eat the pizza and, and tell them that I'm 133 deep on once upon a time in Hollywood. Bye. Hollywood. This week on the Patreon, Carl and Hassan finished drafting their fantasy football team. Shank and Brett help bang with song ideas on Hollywood masterclass.

And the flagrant ones are talking to Dan Lippert about mostly all things basketball. Check out these bonus podcast and videos of the full episodes, including today's with the sloppy boys at patreon.com slash the flagrant ones. Hollywood Handbook. That was a HeadGum Podcast.