Hollywood Handbook - The Flagrant Family Office Holiday Party (with Carl Tart and Ahsohn Williams)

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

The Boys, CARL TART, and AHSOHN WILLIAMS plan The Flagrant Family office holiday party. Watch the video recording at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. What happened? Sorry, what happened? Kevin? My screen is like blocking off the share screen. And so I didn't see anyone dancing and I got nervous that maybe it wasn't playing. So I hit pause instead of seeing if it actually was sharing it. But you snapped on beat in the beginning.

So I should have assumed. So that's not dancing to you? Ahsan, you're a DJ. Do you do that? I mean, that is the typical rule. If people snap on beat you never stop the music you just broke the cardinal rule of dj and kevin is that song new yeah that's a new one this is new yeah so i think that's part of the confusion is none of us have heard it before

i was just guessing when i snapped how long y'all been doing that um doing the thing that we just said was new the things yeah yeah is that is this the first time yeah this so yes this is the first episode where we're doing that is the first time we've actually yeah been doing that usually hayes and i are just kind of talking and we go um but kevin said that he had and i should have known too this is partially on me because he said he had a song you wanted to play it and also that he wanted to do sort of like a freeze dance thing with it where like we're all like rocking

out but then it's like when he says freeze and stops the beat everybody even if you're in a really funny position or making like a goofy face you have to hold it until it comes in again and carl that's exactly right so like it was a cool idea and i kind of forgot that part of it so when he paused it that's why i panicked i mean you guys saw yeah we saw it needless to say you lost the game yeah yeah that's fair i'll take that i'll take that

but speaking of games right i think we got to talk about what kind of games we're going to want to have at everybody a uh hollywood hamburg and they're going to have a thing about and we got carl and a son and the whole flagrant families here uh we dropped you know some new flagrant family artwork recently you can see us all together in a big basket and i think we should talk about do we want to have games at this thing because we are planning the patreon office party and i think it can be fun at a party yes i want to talk yes i want to fucking dance i want to shake my big ass you know that's part of why i get all gussied up to get out there every time you had a party you shake that fat ass i'm sloshing it around you know what i

mean and it ain't what it used to be i'll be honest it's a mess back there but it's moving in the other direction it's always like catching up to his body so when he's shaking one way the ass is still still back over there it's like a reverse like a reverse whiplash effect i get these huge bruises on my hips almost all the way around on the front just from like the velocity of my ass snapping back into place when i finally get my body back around and every year john ham walks up to you while you're shaking that ass he goes damn sean you shit with that ass and and and have we heard from john about this year kevin have you checked the rsvps again as

john said whether he's coming i followed up no response yet but let me try again right now so you follow up did you like did you follow up too fast yeah if i send it at midnight you did you know you followed up you knew as you were following up that it was too fast couldn't help himself so john's a maybe and kevin possibly gave up the game on this one by following up too fast uh which of course is in the same i've known kevin to follow up in the same email yes he'll sign up he'll say thanks kevin and then he'll say hey just following up he'll say two things he'll lay out the first thing the second item will be just wanted to follow up on that initial concern i had and so it's it doesn't give you time really to respond then you go well never mind i'm not going to deal with this at all like i'll just let kevin live with his choices so john's up maybe and leaning towards no i think at

this point can i share my screen on something that you guys can i can cut it out if you don't like it but speaking of being the follow-up king i typed it into a search bar recently just to see what would come up look at those numbers for the listener we're talking 11 so those are texts that you sent us us that you said me and sean some of them are both of us yeah if we look at the numbers actually yeah i'll say nine out of eleven some of them are not me and some of the ones that are to both of us do say the word hey hey if we could get it back up on the screen really quick sure but one of those i think at least one of those was following up haze this is just a haze

this is just a haze this is following up to both of us this is just a haze this is following up to both of us just a haze this is following up haze and then that one is to both of us eight out of 11 are addressed to haze and that only goes this is not like a representative sample of our all our time working together even of this year that only goes, this is not like a representative sample of all our time working together, even of this year. That only goes back to the end of September. That is, yeah, September through November 9th. Yeah. And Sean, I'm going to cut you some slack.

I guess the only one who was like affected by 9-11. Oh, yeah. I'm really sorry that that. Never forget. I guess we all said we'd never forget, but then only I actually. Remembered. Can we see that again kevin on october 9th where it does say following up to both of y'all uh kevin did put haze's smiling eyes so on october 29th right that's what it looks like when he smiles that's when i'm being that's when i'm being uwu yeah so i think okay kevin so that we were talking about games

do we i mean i i know i'm on food uh food and and flavors duty well let's not but let's not say like i'm on this and like it's not a your little food fiefdom. Like I do feel that we all should have input on every aspect of the party. Like everyone should feel ownership over it. I mean, Assan's a DJ, so like he's, you know, he's in charge of music. sexual hard rocking music that i think would kind of just keep the mood and the vibe in the zone that we need it to be this year because it's been a hard year and not everybody's listened to as much porno core as i think they normally would and i'm not saying hey asan you have to play all of these but i'm saying we should hear about two-thirds of them and because i am gainfully employed and i feel like it's the season of giving back i will be bringing quarters for anybody who wants to do laundry carl's in charge of the money yeah your

food he's music carl's money only for laundry though you only for laundry only for laundry so bring it back and close haze are you having a cigarette no i'm sampling uh the different incense flavors for the party okay that's right this is grape okay so grape incense was kevin's pitch what do you think we all got we all got to pick our favorite berry and kevin said grape great and we debated for a while because we weren't sure if grapes were a berry but i think we let him have it you know at the end of the day it wasn't gonna make a big difference i don't i, and Hayes could tell me different, I don't think we're going to go with that one. So we sampled it to be fair.

I actually, you know, I maybe was being a little cheeky when I picked banana because most people don't realize that a banana is a berry. Most people don't realize that. Most people don't realize that. Most people don't realize that. I said peanut, which a peanut, of course, is also a berry. Peanut berry.

Peanut berry and jelly sandwich. PB&J. Peanut berry and jelly. So I'm trying this this i went upstairs earlier and i'm in trouble with my wife for some reason with for how my hair smells because it smells like grape because yeah she she thought i was like stepping out or something with some kind of you weren't wearing your usual peanut berry scented shampoo well it doesn't help that your hall pass is the grape lady at the farmer's market that's no it's not it's the one from the video

oh the grape stomp woman from the viral video that's right that news clip yes okay you is your thing is that you want to make or make that noise in a good way anyone is welcome to contribute to food great uh i i i'm i'm i'm committing to that because i'd like to eat at this party i don't want a situation where we like leave it up to like oh whoever is just like inspired to uh arrange food also like some of these some aspects of a party like this are a process i asked i went to the supermarket and asked if they could do a basketball cake. They said yes. Apparently, the guy I was working with there was very new and was very scared by what I had asked him

and wanted to do a good job. Wanted to please you. Yes. And so I have the cake. It is a basketball-flavored cake. Oh. It's a basketball flavored cake. Oh, it's a classic sheet cake. Like by all appearances, it has nothing to do with basketball until you do you buy it into it, take a bite, and it has everything to do with that.

So it's just a square, just a rectangular, like white cake off the shelf. Blank. Yeah, just very normal cake yep it says it says happy party on it well that's a great message for us that was nice i said like i it was like do you want writing on it and then he was like wait i have something so i didn't even get a chance to say what I wanted. Inspiration struck. And that's been, can I say, one of the things that's so fucking cool about having this Patreon

is that we're being creative on here and we're inspiring creatives. And our fans send in these really cool comments and all these different songs and all this stuff and we're turning them on to like oh i can just explore like the craziest corners of my mind and see what comes out and happy party is a representation of that i haven't seen that on a cake and i don't know why that's a really cool message um kevin just checking in on the rsvps are the freedom gang gonna be there have they gotten back to us paul responded instantly nope nothing nothing from scott and lauren yet all right playing it cool probably too early for a follow-up right now but maybe before the end of the episode we compose something that

we think could really get them hooked i got it i already got it you have it i sent it it's a three i said it was too early what did you send they play these games at the end of episodes called threacher it's like freedom and feature and so i was like three chair you respond to this rsvp three chair i already did respond well paul did scott paul did oh yeah so i'm bringing chicken and dumplings okay okay so it's a potluck now? Again, anyone is welcome to provide food. I mean, if we want, I'll get it. I have some suggestions for the music as well. There's a song that I think really captures a lot of our journey this year.

It sounds a little like this. Do you know this one? Do you hear it okay? Yeah. A little. A little bit. And the cymbal is part of the drums. That's true. A lot of people think it is part of the drums. That's true.

A lot of people think it's a melodic instrument. It's not. It's not at all. No. And we can play. Wow. Like, if we can play this in a way where, like, I can mouth the words. Now, do you want me to do, like, a porno core kind of mashup of this to stay on brand for the night?

That would probably get me more excited about listening to it. You can play like two things at the same time? Yeah, you can do that. Is there, does the porno core songs have words? Yeah, they're mostly words. Okay. And when we say words, we mean that loosely. It's like guttural

moaning and noises and kind of like dirty talk. Yeah, there's some warnings of what's about to happen or what they might do. Or invitations, depending on how you're looking at it. Mm-hmm. This part, right? happen or what yeah or invitations depending on how you're looking at it this part right i'm getting decided this hate is all the world has even seen lately you got to do what they told you got to do what they told you got to do what they told you

got to do what they told you that Got to do what they told you. Got to do what they told you. No, that's not the same song. That song sucks. That song's lame. This one actually has a real message behind it. That one was noisy. Anything noisy.

Like Carl, well, you're bringing food. Chicken and dumplings. Chicken and dumplings. And he's bringing quarters if anybody wants to do their laundry. If anyone wants to do their laundry, I'm bringing quarters. I'll take you up on it. I'll take you up on it. Now, the venue does have free laundry. But if a person brings their laundry, I will hand them quarters.

Put that in the email that you're sending to Paul, because you've got to wash them suits sometime. Follow it up. I will hand you quarters. Ripe. Hey, is this a new flavor? Because it seems like the smoke has changed quality. Yeah, goddamn.

It's a much thicker smoke this time around. Yes, this flavor is juice. Okay. It looks really good. Obviously, I can't smell it over the the zoom but it looks like it would be a very good scent it is already it is yeah and the smoke itself is much juicier as you could see well i'm i'm bringing my famous oregano dip obviously uh it is um yeah it's really good i made a big big batch this year um i don't have anything to dip it in and it's not my problem if you can't eat it off your hand or off of like a napkin or something then

you know bring your own shit but i'm just sick of like everyone has a different idea of like it should be on a cracker it should be on a pita or it should be on a big hunk of halloumi cheese and i'm just like not about the drama not gonna deal with it bring your own dippers uh you know as the great uh jeff foxworthy said yeah might be a breadstick so that takes me back to college you remember just like calling up this is i guess kids don't have to deal with this anymore but like calling up your dip dealer and they come by and they're like oh i have i got like good shit for you today like because you're like trying to just like pack a lip with your friends and they're like oh i got some i got the finest cut dip for you and they give you this like bag of stuff and you don't know any better you're just like a kid you're like is this it's supposed

to smell like you know yes oh yeah oh yeah smell that seems a little how herbaceous it smells you said it was long cut this seems like short cut to me very short yeah but you don't know any better you put it in you say you're feeling something yes you just pack a huge lip full of oregano uh-huh do they have different flavors of of dip of chewing tobacco or is it just like one like cigarettes there's like a tobacco flavor you know what i mean they got a lot of flavors they have different flavors of cigarettes and chewing tobacco. Peach. Really? Wintergreen. Formula One. Formula One, it tastes kind of like motor oil.

Juice. You got to be a real man. Juice. Great. Not to be mixed together. No. Don't take a half a dip of grape juice, a half a dip of grape and half a dip of juice, and try to make grape juice. That ain't going to work.

I lost a lot of friends that way. That'll blow your lip clean off. Yeah. Your skull will pop off your head. It's not good. It's not good to do that. But yeah, I know they've got all kinds of flavors. Sweat.

Yeah. Cherry yellow. Cherry yellow is good. Cherry yellow, yeah. Cherry yellow is good cherry yellow yeah cherry yellow is good uh i am in charge as we know of the second location and i have two options let's take this to a second location i can't wait to say that i am so pumped on this who's driving the party bus before we get to you let them take you to a second location when you come to this party man because that's where that's where all bets are off i volunteered to drive the bus as long as i can control the aux cable so i'm driving the party bus no no no no

put a stop today kevin okay yeah i was thinking like five different minivans we could all drive ourselves my first option is i just got a projector for my bedroom um there's no speaker yet but we could maybe watch a little bit of a movie or something i can get some chairs it has a little speaker in it right oh great okay um then asking you you haven't watched anything in your bedroom yet still in the box still in the box i was afraid it's gonna get dusty the second option is one of those restaurants where all the lights are off and like you're kind of eating it like in the dark basically it really puts a focus on the taste of what uh we probably bring our everything like our dips and uh grapes and we bring all the food

chicken to the dark room chicken and dumplings i guess it's good that we all have our own van then so we just rested on the passenger seat somebody's gonna need to get aluminum foil and i'm not doing it well we should see too like our is five vans gonna to be enough? Can you check the RSVPs again? Has Engineer Cody or Colin Anderson responded to this yet? Cody said he would come, but he had five caveats. One of them we can't talk about. And I think Colin's visiting the UK or something because he said, like, I'm sleep. Colin said he was sleep?

In his daytime. So he must be in the uk different hours yeah must be different hours must be on a different time zone sleep okay this is gonna affect like just like the games conversation which we started at the at the very beginning of this yep but like figuring out if it's just us which by the way is great if it's just employees that's my preference yeah i was being polite inviting especially like the freedom guys and like uh john ham john yeah who you know uh you know i'd prefer i'd be more comfortable if it's just us which it sounds like it might be which is great and have we heard from andy niece at all uh texting him right now actually okay so yeah even if it's just us like it does in some ways open up the games that we can play because we all have such a close relationship yeah like we can play more games

where it's like about like knowing your partner more games of trust than yes then more trust games does anyone want to say an example of a game oh blindfold haircuts we each go around with scissors. I trust you guys to do that to me. The barber is not blindfolded. Just the person who is getting the haircut. Yeah. The barber itself is not blindfolded.

They can see exactly what haircut they're giving you. Yeah, that would be so bad. But, Hayes, is your hair going to be smelling like grape because me and geneva are not not okay with it i don't think well i guess what i've created is a flavor combination that's just grape juice in your hair well now like it's grape flavor combined with juice flavor you're lucky that's not tobacco yeah it was in my hair tobacco and blow your lip clean off yeah your lip hair your mustache it'll blow your mustache off now shoot your head straight through your chimney yeah we should get you know like since son we're all adults now barely legal a son

cue the porno core yeah play some of that man first time i've heard it because i'm now 18 yeah i got you you can't hear porno core it's like you have to have certain frequencies once you get older you you can't hear them because they're too high pitched. It's like a horn of course so low that you got to have big saggy lobes to be able to hear it. That's the only thing that can capture those waves. Big danglers. Okay, I got a game that we can play. Flash karaoke.

Surprise karaoke. that we can play flash karaoke surprise karaoke where you have to give somebody else a song to perform but the song is a famous speech oh okay oh and what we could do is give you a style or an impression that you have to do the song in. Yes. So Winston Churchill singing Barrowman. Just like Jimmy does. Yes. And we should know what they are before so we can. We should agree. We should get together and say hey these are like the three impressions I can do. So we can practice and

stuff. Yeah. This is a song I've been working on in this particular impression. Yeah exactly. And like we can all go through Kevin. Like Kevin's like the producer in this role. It's not like. And then whoever is giving the assignment will just be given a card ahead of time and they'll just like read out the card we should have a fake chiron for sure where it looks like the chiron where it's like spinning yeah some kind of randomized process okay okay so it's neil young uh doing oops i did it again yes hey and they're like wow okay this is a tough one yeah then we're like scared we're freaking

out we're like i don't want to do this one but we used to do this practice we practiced for a really long time yeah we've been working on it forever. They used to do this on Merv Griffin. Well, and I actually did want to bring some more Merv Griffin stuff into this. Miss Merv. RIP Merv. Pour some out. Merv was the original. It's so funny when people say... Pour some water out for Merv.

When people talk about shows innovating and talk shows now, and I agree with a lot of the conversation that they're very good, but it's not new. They're just doing Merv. That's all it is. You turn it on, guess what? That's Merv up there.

They're doing Merv. They're putting a little bit of their own spin on it, but at the end of the day, it's still Merv. And putting a little bit of their own spin on it but at the end of the day it's still Merv and and that's why it works when I watch the problem with Jon Stewart I go this is Merv guys I'm getting big Merv energy out of this same as the Charlemagne the God show. Yes. Yes. Merv the God. Merv the God. Merv-a-Maine.

Merv-a-Maine the God. Merv-a-Maine the God-ba-Maine. Kevin, what's the first location? Yeah, what is the first location? Because it would be great to know what that is. Yeah, the more contrast, the better, I think. Keep us on our toes. Bright restaurant.

Too bright. Yeah. Sure. It could be a really bright-ass outside daylight, like noon in the desert. We stay there until 5, desert and we stay there till five and then go to the darkest place that exists so you don't have a first so yeah so the desert is the most specific thing we've heard i i didn't know i was in charge of first location i just thought i was second location okay all right and that's why i think we should all feel free to

take ownership over different aspects of this because you know it the lines haven't been clear how about like an ed to bevics we get razzed a little from the waiters talk to us uh you've been saying you you want to tell us about ed to bevics for a long time uh i would love to oh hello sir are we partying what's going on oh are we partying says the party man i brought here okay horny m&ms okay man the green ones are about to get me in trouble those are all greens yeah i mean oops all green oh hey do not go back to your wife smelling like mint imagine what they're up to in there do not go back to your wife smelling like mint you're definitely stepping out. You are stepping out, Hayes.

Hayes is being unfaithful. Hayes, you can crash on my couch tonight if you show up smelling like mint after a bag of those babies. That's another thing. My guy sold me. Saying unfaithful by Rihanna. Saying unfaithful by Rihanna as Alex Trebek. R.I.P. Alex Trebek, man.

The guy, man. Okay, but I thought it was a speech. But I do it as a speech? Yes. You're asking it as a clue. You're asking the song as a clue. Okay. I can do that.

He used to sing lyrics sometimes as part of the clue and you go story of my life searching for the right but it keeps avoiding me sorrow in my soul because it seems that wrong really loves my company what i thought because nobody got it it Carl oh no that was that's right that's the triple suppers ad that was unfaithful unfaithful tough to miss that one

yeah so first location I was thinking could be at Debevix or we could have it at like a fan at planet fitness and get our like get our phantom planet fitness i'm working on a little collab they have phantom planet has their own kind of planet fitness now yeah it's fun and you still can't get out of your contract you still can't get out of your contract wow you literally have to leave the phantom planet to get out of your contract. Wow. You literally have to leave the Phantom Planet to get out of your contract.

And you got to show proof that you are never coming back. Pumping up my guns, firming up my ponds. The gym is OC themed. Every squat rack is on a balcony overlooking the ocean. Damn. Phantom Planet Fitness. a balcony overlooking the ocean damn phantom planet fitness that should be your next halloween costume andy i'm way ahead of you i'm like halfway there already just have to get fit i think it just has to get nice muscle man suit. Eddie just has to get absolutely huge.

The last element, the only missing piece of my Halloween costume is that I do have to become incredibly strong. And it'll be perfect. It's actually, I've got everything. I've got the glasses. I've got a wig and then yeah and then i just between now and halloween i have to get so fucking strong i i i don't want to rule out ed debevix if like i like i want to like follow everyone's into it yeah like well i want to at least hear kevin's pitch because this has been he's been front porching it for so long i'm just picturing

it like we walk in and they're like so what is this for and it's like oh holiday office party and they're like for what oh we do a little podcast together and then just like the razzing these guys are gonna do about they're nasty they're their thing is they're nasty they make you wear uh like a paper hat that says microphone bitch is it like dick's last resort yeah that's what you're describing you're talking about dick's last resort. I went with a college marching band that I was in, and we got destroyed. It was in Detroit for a football game. Maybe it was just a regular restaurant.

Why would he say that? That might have been, yeah. Why would he say that? That's a good point, Andy. They might have just really disliked you and wanted to insult you guys. And it might have been a normal restaurant for everyone else who was there. Because I've never heard of what you're describing.

I've heard of that kind of restaurant, but not with that name. This is a restaurant where you go to get insulted? Yeah. My experience there was pleasant, but Kevin had a different experience, I guess. Kevin has also told me he grew up in a theme family kevin's last resort was the name of their their family kevin's dad's last resort um i uh yeah i i now i'm remembering i've been to ed debevics and i received excellent service

they're extremely kind to me thank you doesn't it sound like there was like a little bit of a discrepancy over whether or not kevin was actually in that marching band sounds like they didn't think he was in it a marching band which i was in don't no need to check with anyone else and like in certain parades it's not like there's like they could stop stop you from like marching at the head yeah because you gotta at that point you gotta weigh the pros and cons do I stop this entire parade of marching bands to get this one guy out of the

drum section or do you just let him let him ride they just have to keep going yeah he's not even play like he's just pretending to play he's not like causing a problem eating better is easy with factors delicious ready to eat meals every fresh never frozen

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feeling good all day long how many add-ons and what are some of them it's one big add-on and it's you on your bed you're so tired after you eat my meal the promises the meal makes us sleepy you've been pushing that so much you're saying that you will be added on to your bed yeah your bed plus one that's the opposite of what this is supposed to do it's supposed to help you stay a lot of these i know give you a ton of energy they have like smoothies and things like that reservation for two me walking in my bedroom what's the second it's's you in your bed? I guess clippy. Fuel up fast

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a high five almost. And they're really aggressively like pushing it out. And I'm like, am I supposed to pull over and get out of the car? Or just do it out the window as I'm going? That's what I've been doing. That seems dangerous. But some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners, I'm'm sure babble's tips and tools are approachable accessible rooted in real life situations at which i have all the time and delivered with conversation-based teaching so you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world studies from yale michigan state university and others can't feel good to be others there. Continue to prove Babbel is better.

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B-A-B-B-E-L. B-A-B-B-E-L. Dot com slash the boys boys rules and restrictions may apply with Babbel we can't promise it'll always be easy but you'll always be glad you did it kind of like this podcast except it is easy for me hey guys Rocket Money is

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speaking of bands and stuff i mean i know we're we're talking about music i think yeah we should talk about entertainment i do think it would be great to have a performance have you talked to the teachers lounge guys are they willing to do a live podcast at our office party uh yes but they wanted to do it as like one of their spinoffs i believe not bleachers but one of them is a blues band that they did so i was trying to have them do it as like the blues band and they could perform as well. Drew's unavailable. John's not sure. Dan's having car issues, but Ryan's in. Okay. Okay, so it's going to be Ryan as a blues band.

And that's the live podcast that we're going to get? Yeah, it's pretty good. Well, I mean, keep him on hold. I don't have a better idea. It does seem like with... You said Drew's definitely out? Yeah. And Dan is out?

Dan's having car issues. He's having car issues. And John has yet to find a car that he could fit inside. Yeah. He keeps driving that Yugo. And gets stuck in it. He's uncomfortable. I mean, I'll tell you what they ought to call a you-go is you don't go

anywhere. You stop. Because the damn thing, they're stopped. Those cars are stopped. Stopped? They should just paint them all red. You should only be able to get that car in red because it's the color of stop. Mm-hmm.

They should do it. Tomorrow. Kevinvin can we please make sure we have enough bay leaves this year yet another thing my guy i wasn't at i wasn't a guy sold me a a hefty bag full of of bay leaves bunco bay leaves for me to dip you roll up the bay leaf and you put it... You gotta take it out. You cannot leave it in there. I fell asleep with one end and I checked myself

into the hospital. That stuff getting your bloodstream is over for thee. I was trying to use it as a mistletoe and was going up to people. A single bay leaf?

Mistletoe. You about to get canceled. You can't do that. You can't do that at this party. B-A-E leaf. Please do not. B-A-E leaf. You cannot do that.

Mistletoe, sorry. B-A-E leafoe you can't go around forcing people in there BAE yeah so we got three locations phantom planet fitness ed the bevics and

yeah rather my room or the blind barber, no, the blind restaurant. Why don't we just have them turn the lights off at Ed DeBevics? The service is amazing. They'll do whatever you want. You can? I can't ask. And then when Kevin's there, they'll

say like, yeah, I mean, I gotta do that if I'm gonna look at this guy's face. Yeah. Everyone's gonna get sick unless we turn the lights look at this guy's face. Yeah. Everyone's gonna get sick unless we turn the lights off with this guy's face in here. And we're all driving separately, so Andy, you need to know that.

We now need six minivans. We need six Honda Odysseys now. Fair. I got a couple. I know a guy that's got a couple. Andy's on getting pinks for this. Get the pink slips so we can buy six Honda Audisies

for this party. Andy, you do have to race people for them. So you have to find people with Honda Audisies and you have to race them for their pinks. I'm going to have to train a little bit before I'm going to have to get up to shape ready to take on this task, but I can do it. Kevin, will you Google the 1983 Toyota minivan?

These might fit a little bit better. Yes. I have to go soon. Where the hell can I go? So soon, Andy? He's got to start training for the race. Can I start training for your Halloween? That's good.

I'm Googling the 1983 Toyota minivan that's actually the little bottom there that's what i look like when i got a lip full of bay leases yeah it's got a real underbite situation yeah get me in that thing man just a bunch of dip on the front seat screaming around corners no seat belts rolling over burning juice flavored incense in the dash three different kinds of dipping every nook and cranny of my cheeks filled with some new dip creation. Cross faded on different dips.

Cross faded. Response from Lauren. She said, sorry, I missed this. Hope you guys had fun. Oh, okay. That's really nice. I actually think rather than correct her that the party hasn't happened yet, I am fine just leaving it at that.

Me too. Have you heard from Conan? I heard from Sona. She said she is going to let him know and he might leave us a note. Oh, okay. That's great. That definitely will happen. Yes. Yeah. What. That's great. That definitely will happen. What we know for sure is that she will ask.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Drinks. We haven't talked about drinks. We have drink-flavored incense. It's true. Mm-hmm. Everyone has

something assigned right now. Andy getting six Honda Odysseys. I think we should just put hookahs at every table as opposed to drinks. Yeah, I agree. I think that's more the mood that we're trying to create is like, if you're really thirsty, you can drink out of the bottom of the hookah you just smoke the hookah get the vapors they'll turn into liquid in your throat it tastes like yeah and the liquid at the bottom tastes like whatever the yeah the flavor it is that you were now are there different flavors of hookah because i've also never done parsley celery celery root there is bailey flavor

spring onions and scallions yes those are two different things saison i'll come clean i have a set up for snap peas i thought it could be cool and obviously i didn't know it would be just us i do think it's great that it is just us but i have a whole kind of kit that i wanted to set up to do uh virgin body shots i don't drink but i do miss the irreplaceable experience of doing body shots and so um i sent away for like a kit where it's got like you know a bunch of kind of mixers and other cool like um uh kind of drink accoutrement and and i thought you know different people party if they want you laid on a table or whatever you know and just do and and do and do shots off each other's you know so it's more able or so it's not about getting drunk for

you it's more about like the ritual of drinking it out of someone's belly yeah stomach or back or something yeah drinking off of someone yeah it was something i missed about that that you know those days but no it's that's about getting drunk man hey i'm a i'm already fucked up i mean i don't need any help getting there i'm already fucked up and the kid i know so like instead of obviously normally you could just pour tequila into someone's belly button and then just uh put like a row of salt along like their like kind of where along their boxer line. The boxer line. Yes.

Since you don't want to just be eating salt, it's just like flavorless crystals. It looks like salt. It looks a lot like salt. But it's not food. Not food.

It's still pretty high in sodium though from what i understand it's not good for you i mean it's like it's like impossible burgers or whatever it's like yeah there's no meat but it's still like it's not healthy um but that's not the point it's like you're not ingesting any of the like salt which you obviously don't want yeah you just want to have a good time it's not about you know if you're partying you're partying you're not worried about the calories and the sodium that's the experience it's the closeness i'm walking around the rest of the party like it's a silica it's that silica gel right yes yeah the freshness packets that they put in beef jerky you're not supposed to eat the packet

but if you open it up and pour the stuff out you can eat that yeah because the wrapping of the packet is bad for you is like plastic they even say like don't eat like they don't put like don't eat this whole bag on the jerky they don't eat the packet don't eat the package yes do Do eat the contents of the packet. Lick it off your friend's boxer line. You know? Yeah. Those silica packets are a lot like oranges. You don't eat the outside, but you definitely partake of what's inside. Or apples, too.

Don't eat the outside of an apple. That's true. You know how many people touch that? It's like slices of bread, too. Could have been anywhere. Dibs. The outside. You don't eat the... Dibs. You don't need the outside. You don't need the...

Dibs on the M&Ms. Mint? The mint one? Careful. Jim is trying to cheat on his girl. Imagine that. I do a big snorty. Absolutely bricked up from that.

Can we have Andy be responsible? Like, since Andy... I really have to go. Once the Odysseys are procured, he's not going to have any work to do at the actual party. Yeah, he needs more work. He needs to make sure that the

boxer elastics are like... I'm going to be bopping around talking to everybody. I got tasks to do. Are you kidding me? The boxer elastic has to be folded down so the crystals can go in the ridges. That are left on the skin? Yes.

Okay. Yes. It fits in there so nice. You can turn on your side and the crystals don't fall out. Because they're right up in those ridges. It's like ruffles. On the invitations in, Kevin, we should probably tell everyone to wear their boxer shorts for at least an hour or so before the party so that they have the indentations in their stomach should this be an abc party anything but clothes anything but boxer shorts

they need what's the any what's the anything in that anything you wear like wear something but not clothes oh i see so it is like you can't wear traditional clothes but you can wear like wear something but not clothes oh i see so it is like you can't wear traditional clothes but you can wear like but you can cover your body toilet paper you could put a barrel on yeah so a garbage bag like i can't stand the rain big like missy elliott yes big garbage bag me i'm super fly um i did think we could do a 40 year old virgin style waxing each other uh thing just especially if we are going to be doing body shots just because i just so we don't have to deal with hair and mess and i think that it could be pretty funny if we all you know kind of improv'd out different exclamations not just traditional swears can we reach out to Kelly Clarkson

that would be cool she could be like yes that's funny you rang you rang somebody need me I'm kind of busy in the other room and then busy Phillips

walks in and goes no I'm busy in the other room the Yeah. And then busy Phillips walks in and goes, no, I'm busy in the other room. Studio audience goes off. They go nuts. They loved Carl so much. They went home with him and the show doesn't even, his show doesn't even have a studio audience. They just showed up. Now Andy has time.

Andy pitched Kelly Clarkson. Now he has that. Oh yeah well now i can't and it looks like he's gonna be here all night well yeah let me know when this is happening i'll let you guys know if i can make it uh i gotta head out and he just looked at his m&ms he got time today no you're big when you got those m&ms you gotta go you know what i mean and i don't have to go right now all right um any inline skating we should do hit a rink somewhere i'm leaving i think our skating has to be out of line you are out of line you yeah it's flagrant you are out of line flagrant that's good so the the so the wheels are like there is the line but the wheels are

like attached to the outside of it yeah yeah they like they alternate okay uh drone footage do we want to talk about drone footage getting shots of us uh doing cool shit i mean i'm i want to run that but i also i'm going gonna bring a bunch of like just different cool remote control toys just so it feels fun like yeah we're still kids we're just a little bigger than kids um and i and i think it could be cool if we have some like uh just awesome like little like remote control cars running around and we put stuffed animals in them. I think there should be a bunch of Roombas

circling the room. A lot of them. Did people submit their list of dares they won't do for the Truth or Dare game? I know last year we had some pretty big... I don't want to call it a fight, but we had a...

It was a fight. We had a big fight. We threw punches. It's true. Who won? Everyone loses when the fighter ones fight each other. It's true. Everyone did, and that wasn't

theoretical. Everyone did get hurt really bad yeah everyone was unconscious at the end of it yes man sounds rough um but do people want to say are there any dares that they know they won't do so we don't run into last year yeah i'm definitely not telling my uncle that i love him okay okay so all right so yeah that one i could have guessed because that was what started the fight last year but really um so i i think uh i i really don't want to ring the neighbor's doorbell and ask to borrow their toilet paper um i get why it's funny like i get that it's like a little uncomfortable and mostly harmless but um

i have actually had to do that with my neighbor in the past and i sort of think if i do it again then i become the guy who just like is borrowing their toilet paper all the time and i do have to live here hey did you have a truth that's off limits is there a question we're not allowed to ask you probably most mouthwatering man crush just say crush you can ask me you can ask me my crush but to say

yes you can say most mouthwatering crush but to say like mouth watering crush yes you can say most mouth watering crush but to say like man crush it's like in 2021 i don't think we need to say it's like best actor best actress yeah i don't think we have to say like crush the same job yeah yes i don't i don't think we need to do that yeah no that's really actually super fair uh and i'll take it on the chin i asked that last year you know and um i like to think i've grown up a lot since then and i and i no longer even have the word man crush in my vocabulary uh unless i am describing an act that has been perpetrated by a machine. I got one.

Thank you. Or the martial arts move. Do not ask me what's in my cup when I'm drinking. Do not ask me what's in my cup. Okay? That's for our protection. Yeah. It's in my cup okay that's for our protection yeah it's in my cup okay it's not your cup well it was your suggestion to to not not have any drinks at the party and just to just to so i can be holding a cup and everybody wants to know what's in it everyone is going to be asking

that because do not ask me what's everyone will be pretty thirsty off limits off limits everybody's gonna mouth's gonna be dry from the hookah and the long ride in the minivan that's better though for like when you pass it to the next person you don't want it all wet because they've like had something to drink that night yeah exactly you need it dry but what is in there don't ask me what's in my cup i literally just said it but we won't ask as part of like we won't ask as part of like truth or dare at the party or anything but like but what is it chicken and dumplings and my parents responded to the invite at all, Kevin. Your mom said no.

Your dad said wrong number. Okay. It's an email, right? Yeah. They give you the option on the iPhone if you want to send it as a... Yeah. I don't want to be asked about my cologne when we play Truth or Dare. I would prefer you guys keep those questions to yourself okay and that's in a cup as well right so it's basically the same yeah it's basically the

same questions as carl's yeah i mean if you put the cologne on your skin it dilutes and it wears off over time but if you carry it around in a cup it has nowhere to go. He puts the cologne on his skin. He puts the cologne on his skin. That's the peer pressure Carl is imitating. Cologne hack. Hey, guys. It's the Flagrant Boys back with another c-c-c-c-cologne hack. Most traditional people will tell you to put it little dabs on the wrists and under the neck. But in fact, just carry it in a big-ass canteen.

Open up the cap and waft it underneath the nose of the woman you're courting. She'll associate you with that scent in a very strong way. That's our Cologne Hack. Bye.