Hollywood Handbook - The Magic Tavern Guys, Our Euphoria Friends

Episode Date: July 29, 2019

With Game of Thrones over, The Boys help the Magic Tavern hosts rebrand their show. This episode is sponsored by hims (www.forhims.com/HANDBOOK), Harry's (www.harrys.com/HANDBOOK), and Indochino (www.indochino.com code: HANDBOOK).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast so obviously it's late i mean it's the middle of the night and it's me. I was with Charlie Tuna and Laturix. And we were... Laturix. Laturix. And we were dreamwalking. We're walking into people's dreams and transforming everything they know. Wow. Everything they know. Taking their mind's reality and altering it in ways that will ultimately change them forever.

And taking slumber treasures. Well, this is really where the argument comes in. Bring a pillowcase and fill it with slumber treasures. To me and to Charlie, that is an essential element of dreamwalking that you must capture a slumber treasure or else how are you going to pay the fees and you put in this to the god of sleep like i'll just say again you put in in the snooze-ium? In this, yes. Put it in the snooze-ium. If you do not do this, you will not be able to escape the dreamscape.

However, with T-Rex, I think what was going on was he was maybe in like a fight with his dad. Uh-huh. And didn't want to be allowed to join the world of The Waking again. And he was going, isn't it a little crass to be taking these dream treasures? And I was going like, no, it's not crass. It kicked ass. He was like, it's a bit gauche, don't you find? What?

And I'm going like. Oh, oh okay he's now saying what's gauche oh please right like now okay i was into him now he is the one going this is gauche and i'm like wait a minute why would you even be the one to be able to say that? I think which is your point. Yes. And who is that? Leterix? Yes. He is not unlike Charlie Tuna in the sense that he is a member of sort of occasionally corny underground rap group that hit the mainstream in like 2000

I think Letyrex is one of the alcoholics but he could also be a dilated peoples and I just have to admit that I don't know which one is it like Letyrex

no it's L-A-T-Y-R-X, I think. And he could be in the Alcoholics, he could be in Dilated Peoples, and for all I know, he could be in another one of those crazy groups. What's the one? Oh, Blackalicious. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook and Insider's Guide to Kicking Butt and Dropping Names

in the red carpet lineback hallways of this industry we call showbiz. Sometimes we do an episode and we sort of feel like we need to do it again for any number of reasons, technical, just like performance issues. We just decide, we sit on it.

It's always the guest. Six months to a year, yes, or the guest. It's the guest always that has messed up our show, which is fine. Our show is very hard to do. We make it look very easy, but many can't do it. So sometimes they'll say, hey, I want a do-over. And if we have time, we'll squeeze them in. And a lot of times what I find is it's better to do it later because what they were even doing, I think this is the case today, what they were even doing at the time that we had them is total dog shit now.

It wouldn't fly at all. And these things stay online. Yes. This is the thing. This is what people have to remember. You have to do something that will last for as long as online is happening. Yeah. happening yeah uh by doing a show very clever choice by Hayes and I that never picks a lane or has any kind of description to it it's never out of date it never goes out of fashion

to be naked you have to be in fashion to go out of fashion to be entirely what we do on this show where we arrive buck stark raving naked and we leave with what we came in with our minds it's the it's the magic tavern guys are here sound off roll call magic tavern roll i want to say one of them is definitely Archie. Arnie. I'm Arnie. I knew it was that one. Yeah, Arnie Kneekamp. This is Adel Refai.

Thank you for letting us take a swing at redemption. Yeah, and this is Matt Young, and I'm just happy for the chance to- Not that young. That hurts a little. I'm going to not that young that hurts a little i'm gonna be honest it hurts can we you said i mean you set him up for it no i no you're right i set him up i walked right into that that's entirely my fault your parents should think of these things it's not gonna be like forever yeah sure now it's it's not unlike what we're dealing with, with even having to re-record the show. You might want to re-record your name and just be Matt, like, medium age. Hi, I'm Matt Saad, and I'm a member of Hello from the Magic Tavern.

Thank you guys for coming back to do this again. Does it make sense for me to come back? Because I was, like, the only good thing about the first one? So we had this internal conversation, which is you just drilling softballs into the upper deck made everything else look so much worse. deck made everything else look so much worse. And so we feel like we have to bring you back to bring you down. And actually ruin the episode. If everyone had sucked shit, like the other guys, there would be a nice consistency to the episode where you knew what you were listening to.

But what you did was very jarring, and what you did, of course, was destroyed with hilarious funniness, smart observations, charm, charisma, and a little bit of sex appeal. Just the right amount. I'll pull

all of that back. Because a lot of people listen while driving. Uh-huh. And so Hayes and I are often trying to control just how horny we make our audience. I feel like the right amount is like saffron, not salt, right? Yes. You make people horny in such a way that it costs a lot to do, right? Energy-wise, it costs a lot. So you want to use it like saffron, not salt.

Well, saffron is the most exquisite. And if you put a big fistful in your show, it will become orange. The show takes on this orange flavor. And your hands are orange. Yes. Have you guys ever considered doing bonus content where you go full horny? Have you guys ever considered doing bonus content where you go full horny? Where people have to sign an agreement that they won't be operating. They won't listen while they're driving.

We're working on this with Elon where the car will not only know what you're listening to, but also know how horny you're getting. So it's a safety issue. If we are going to do a very horny show, then the car will be able to say, hey, let's pull over. Pump the brakes, yeah. It'll just automatically start leaning your seat back.

And then the glove compartment will open, and a rubber will fall out. And you sort of put the rubber on and simulate sex. Oh, so it's leading you back so that you can fornicate. With the show.

Does this while the car is... Does it do anything to the... Does it stop the car from... No, he said the car pulls over. The car pulls over so it has the breakdown lane to fully just open it up. Because when you're getting really horny in the car, you want to go...

Can I point out just a small flaw in that? In terms of if the seat leans all the way back and then the glove compartment opens with the rubber, you then have to almost crunch your way up using your core strength to grab that rubber. Elon's actually a super genius. Yeah. So the glove compartment falls open, the rubber shoots forward.

Okay, where does it hit you? It hits you right in the hands if you've got any kind of reflexes whatsoever. You slap that puppy on, and then the sunroof panel lowers down onto your waist and opens a little bit of a crevice for you to hump, and you hump like crazy. And if you have like a Buckner-esque reflex, and that condom just goes under the seat?

The condom will probably end up in your mouth or possibly blinding you. Is there a version for women, or is it just specifically for women? Okay, so now women can't wear condos. No, no, no. That's not what I'm saying. I love that. I love limiting their choices. And I almost want... Everyone fly back to Chicago and then come back here again.

I'm sorry. Reset it. One thing, genetically and just... People don't understand this. Look, there's a difference between the two genders. Women can't get horny. So that is kind of cool for them in some ways because they have such amazing control. And this is what I think makes them better airline pilots.

Tons of jobs that it's better suited for to not become horny. Super soldiers. Super soldiers, yes. tons of jobs that it's better suited for to not become horny super soldiers yes when we get those suits finished Elon's working on these suits too that we've had ideas for to make them look like trees oh wow how did you guys first get hooked up with Elon

memes Rogan podcast oh fun we used to do the memes for that job is that to blend in with the environment when when it's a it's a it's so you feel like you're getting freaking murked by a tree it's like how it bears like is it only deployed if we go to war with a forested nation or is that even in the desert we could have those and it's just a humiliation tactic yeah it's just like oh my god I mean not even like a guy

a tree I should have suspected that tree in the middle of the desert why did I not is there yeah is there like a guardians tie in there okay and now we put a baby in the super

super suit and it's the baby one. Yes. Baby Groot, the super soldier. So sick. They should all be like different guys. Can we do that? I do think Elon already independently, as a coincidence, was making it that when the tree's murking you,

suddenly you hear, Ooga-chocka-ooga-chocka. I'm killing a soldier. Boom, pow, pow, pow. So you guys, I know you're sort of searching for new directions, role models, someone to tell you what's next. You have been doing a Game of Thrones parody show for years now. It's over.

Grow up. The fucking shit ended. People didn't even like the last one. People didn't even like the last one. So I think it was kind of babyish and sort of short-sighted and stupid to do Game of Thrones. We are in pivot mode. Yeah, it will flew us out to try and see if we get re-inspired. Last four years has been a bit of a Game of Thrones parody.

So we are just trying to figure out what the next... You guys have only been doing your show for four years? I think about four, yeah. Four and a half. Four and a half? Oh, my God, it's four four-year-olds. How long does it seem like we've been doing it? No, it's just because we've been doing it for, I guess, about the same time, which would explain why we would only be a little less popular.

Now, if we had been doing our show for, say, six years, now that would be very embarrassing. Yeah. But I think it's only been four or maybe three or maybe none. What are you parodying, though? That might be the problem. Like, what? Her own personality. I guess a lot of the time, Brett.

her own personalities. I guess a lot of the time, Brett. But Brett is kind of the same way of Game of Thrones. Just kind of not around anymore. Kind of rose and fell. There was a very brief period where Brett was just the hottest thing

on the planet. Wasn't there a fan petition to redo Brett? Yeah. There was a lot of blowback. Ultimately, fans wanted to raise the planet. Wasn't there a fan petition to redo Brett? Yeah, there was a lot of blowback and ultimately fans wanted to raise the money and it was signed by so many people.

People were really mad in that one episode. They couldn't see Brett barely at all. Yeah. And you wouldn't, just listening to some of the episodes, you could hear what Brett left in the scene. Just like stuff that had no right. Brett left in the scene. Yeah. Just like stuff that had no right.

Brett's behavior is inexplicable. Nothing he's done up to this point would suggest that this is what he would be doing now. You should have stretched it out more to try and pack all of Brett into just six Bretts. more to try and pack all of Brett into just like six Bretts. The upside is, you know, there's still Brett, so like you can still follow what Brett does with the rest of his life to sort of see how he ends it.

Yeah. There's that one episode you could barely hear. People were mad. You could barely hear it. We've kind of done a version of that already. Like Archie actually already kind of hit that. It's irony, but yeah, I did. So we are trying to find new direction. We thought you guys could help us out.

We're thinking of, you know, what else is in the zeitgeist? What else is popular? We know that right now, even though it's a miniseries, there's potential for spinoffs or for further episodes. But Chernobyl is very hot right now. They're going to do, they're actually going to like do a lot more. Good. So we thought to maybe do like, you know, like Melty Boys or do something where it's like... Can you guys melt?

It's more... It's not a literal. It's more of a... You can only do it once. Okay. So he can't. Here's the issue. So I'm hearing that this guy can't.

Yeah. If you melt, you can only do it once. Stick Stickly, Nickelodeon personality started actually as a really cool popsicle decided to do this stunt where he was going to

become more popular by melting smash hit couldn't really enjoy the fruits of his labor because he didn't exist anymore and

his evil brother Stick took over the show so think about that before you melt now i think you could incorporate some stuff from chernobyl uh certainly you could have accents that don't make sense for where you live yeah we thought to go british or maybe like a new ze Zealand kind of vibe? But I would say for you guys, just what I'm picking up in terms of where your strengths lie, I would lean... We have strengths?

I would lean more euphoria. Oh. Teen dicks and... Overdoses? Drugs I haven't heard of. This, to me, is ideal. Have you thought about, if you don't want to melt,

which it sounds like you don't, and I support that, cutting yourself. I mean, I think it's the natural evolution of the show, honestly. Yes. Yeah. And because we're all these characters that are in this magical world, so it makes sense that when you can do magic. High school is magical, isn't it?

Yes. It's magical, but you can also do anything, so everything is meaningless. So why not just cut yourself? Yeah. And it's a la euphoria or vis-a-vis euphoria. We do it to get ourselves out of situations. Is it a la or is it vis-a-vis? Vis-a-vis.

So if we're backed in a corner, if we're put into a corner, that's how we get ourselves out of it. Is any situation we cut ourselves, people freak out. I think it's via. Via V? Now, Adel and Arnie don't agree with me about this, but there's a whole huge history of HBO shows. Sorry, Archie. I want to go back deeper. He doesn't agree that there's a history of HBO shows?

He does not agree with that. I think there's just a future of HBO shows. I reject the history. I don't want back. I look forward. Has he not ever read a ranking list? We're overlooking a great history of shows such as Dream On. Okay. Curb Your

Enthusiasm. All prime for parody. Sure. What's funnier than parodying a sitcom? And maybe like Larry's in there in the basement with these teens. Like a ma situation? Yeah, Larry could be ma.

Oh, wow. I love that. All the teens are like, Larry could be Ma. Oh, wow. All the teens are like, Larry's acting kind of weird. But he's giving us access to only what he can't. So Matt, are you suggesting that instead of going with a Euphoria vibe, we really

try to capture the current zeitgeist with the full-on Dream On parody? Yeah, I'm pushing hard for that. I know I'm alone in that. I get it. You want to go with what's now. Okay. You're probably going to want to figure out how to make it in America. And that is,

of course, by creating crisp jeans. So I would obviously support that because people in the high school of Euphoria could wear crisp jeans. Yes. That's never going to go out of fashion, just a classic jean. Or you can just hear them coming.

The jeans are so crisp. I thought the way to never go out of fashion was to be naked. I'm confused now. Because earlier you guys said naked never goes out of fashion. Oh, okay. There's a certain kind of jeans that is more naked than naked. Wow. Okay, cool.

I love it. And that is what we're going for with these jeans. Okay. These jeans are painted on. Now, to anticipate, to do a great Euphoria parody show, I think it helps to draw from our own high school sexual experiences to sort of that's how we know sort of what they're going to do next so the parody can stay ahead of it i'll start having all my friends over uh so we could put blankets on ourselves and masturbate to

the n64 game Conker's Bad Fur Day. So that is something. And I'm friends with some of the people involved in Euphoria. And I think not this week, but next week, most of the episode is going to be related to the teens getting off to... Conker's? To Conker's Bad Fur Day. I feel like I'm at a restaurant and someone ordered what I was going to order right before.

And I'm like, do I not? I'm just having plate envy. Is anyone, before we get too far into it, is anyone a super famous rich celebrity's child? Because that helps.

I don't. No. I don't think so. No, I'm sorry. I don't want to. Okay. I want to make sure I think about it. Okay.

No. No. Okay. All right. It's okay. It's okay. Would be cool, though. Ah, I would love that.

Well, I was going to change my last name anyway. Should I just pick a famous person's last name? Matt Apatow? Matt Apatow. Just try to pass it off. Don't, you know, if people ask me a direct question about it, I just change the subject. Okay, Brett is showing me the picture of the flower with what looks like the big peas. And it's sort of frontal torpedoes area.

And I would like to respond and say, everyone, please leave the room. I had to Google that. Did we get a blanket in here? It sounded hot. Conker's Bad Fur Day, yes. I'm, I think, maybe a little little bit older so I'm more of a leisure suit Larry yes or even like the first leisure suit Larry

and we're being a little 8-bit we're being a little rude we went around and did a roll call can we do an age call? that I would love that okay

adult 37 you're looking at me? yeah Hayes let me think Okay. Adol, 37. You're looking at me? Yeah. Hayes. Let me think of what I want to be today. Today, I feel 52.

When is this coming out? That is a great question, yes. So what age are we all going to be when it comes out? That is a great question, yes. So what age are we all going to be when it comes out? Just to play it safe, I'll say anywhere between 42 and 79. That's good. That's a good window.

Matt Sad. Nope. What? Matt Apatow. Oh, Matt Apatow. Maybe you could be Melt Apatow for the Chernobyl tie-in. Melt Apatow. I'm Melt Apatow. I'm Judd Apatow's kid. And this is 40.

Came out once. Oh, just be 40. This is 40. I have to be like, I'm going to be like 22 to be young enough to be his kid. Melt Apatow, 20. Geez. Want to feel old. Melt Apatow is 40. I have to be like, I'm going to be like 22 to be young enough to be his kid. Melt Apatow, 22. Geez, want to feel old. Melt Apatow is 22. Okay, wow.

And I'm remembering. I got to pass off this lie. I got to make it work. Is your name Melt Apatow? Melt Apatow. Melt Apatow. Melt Apatow. Melt Apatio.

Mel. Tapatio. Well, I'm Clem Dog Cholula, and I am years old. I am years old. And Brett, you were implying that you were too young for Conker's Bad Fur Day. Or, really, you were a music guy, so you were just doing Power Rapper, The Rapper, masturbating to that.

Yes. That's what was going on? That and I figured out my dad's password for cable. He had a password? Yeah. Can we get that password? Sure. It was 8421.

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be glad you did it kind of like this podcast except it is easy for me hey guys rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your bills you can see all your subscriptions in one place and if i see something i don't want i can cancel it with a tap I never have to get on the phone with customer service the subscriptions are insidious they're the scourge of our modern life and you never realize what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged I know that I was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from the movie 27 dresses before i found out how much it was costing yes that they intended to send me by the way you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know i think oh that one's got an end point by like dress 14 15

i think it starts to become clear like these these aren't the dresses. Oh no. They were not from the movie. They didn't resemble anything from the movie. They were not, they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear. And one of them was a dressing. Yeah. One of them was, was, it was a vinaigrette. It was a raspberry vinaigrette.

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fully transparent that 500 million was most of that was the the dresses well yeah i mean you're talking about hollywood memorabilia you're talking about like ornate gowns you know in some cases and so that was uh yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money.com slash the boys that's rocket money.com slash the boys rocket money.com slash the boys hollywood handbook um in terms of in high school uh sexual experiences i think my senior year we all went over to a friend's house in the countryside and because i grew up in a small town and we watched kids that was our wow dawson vehicle yeah and uh and while we were watching it two friends snuck away and fucked on a trampoline

on a trampoline so i'm mostlyoline. So I'm mostly like proximity. No true sexual experiences, but proximity. That seems like something Leisure Suit Larry would do. And so it would be really cool to be friends with him in high school like you were. Yeah. And the rumor was afterwards that the trampoline does all the work for you. Okay. I've been looking for something to do it.

Just the first thrust or two is on you and then if it were Leisure Suit Larry they'd probably have a pun name like Tramp Eileen or something that is probably what their name would be I've been trying intentionally to pull back in this episode as you can tell I think we're all in our heels

could Elon's car have a little trampoline element built into the seat to take care of some of that work yes that could be cool and most importantly to Elon it would be funny so it could

I guess every time every part of the car has to make kind of a fart noise now anytime it does anything so it would be hard to get the trampoline to do that. Yeah, I don't know if there's going to be

room because there is already a... I've been trying to talk him out into this, but there's a toilet plunger that sticks to your butt. That's pretty funny though. To your butt or in your butt? No, to your butt, like the suction end okay

that is already under your seat and i've been going like don't do this but he's you know dog with a bone once he has a funny idea like that just the image he's never gonna give it up he's not gonna stop yeah so my high school sex was of course that my friend mark lent me a maxim magazine who was in it who knows you know vita guerra uh donna derrico it doesn't really matter at this point it It likely was Sable. And Mark kept calling it Maximum Magazine. He only would call it Maximum Magazine. And I finally kind of held it up and said, I think it's called Maxim. And he went, yeah, I call it Maximum.

Which is a technique I've carried with me for the rest of my life gaslighting yes that's cool okay so all my mistakes are a choice so instead of the tavern we have uh some basement probably right like one of the cool kids uh basements um and you guys all need to have like cool high school identities uh for this like you know basically a tavern but instead of friggin like uh like whatever like the hobbits or whatever you guys have teens. Yeah, or in one case, there's like an eight-year-old drug dealer in Euphoria, which is my favorite moment. Yes. Like teens or preteens or even younger, like old toddlers.

Preteens with face tattoos who live behind the refrigerated section of a convenience store and who did not have this as part of their high school. You both use the same term, preteen? Yes. You're not familiar with this term? So picture a teen. Well, okay. I picture myself to be, yeah.

Not like that. Adel can't use context clues at all. That's something you should know about him. So what's everyone's character identity? And maybe Archie could actually come up with what this is instead of what you guys did at your other show, which is these guys are actually doing stuff, and you're like, okay, I guess I'll be Archie. What are these guys doing?

I think my character would probably come from a place of like, I'm self-conscious about my body, so I wear baggy clothing. Okay. So you are... And everyone jumps in the pool and I kind of keep my shirt on. So you are Jinko Jake. Yeah. That is cool.

Bag his pants available? Yes. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I'm probably Chelsea, and I'm hot enough to be a cheerleader, but I just don't want to be, and I feel dissatisfied with life in general. And you find out I've had kind of a bad parenting situation. I think that's where I'm coming from. Probably Chelsea. Parenting from which end?

You to your kid or your parents to you? My parents to me. I've got one kid, but you don't find that out until the end of the first season. And that's why you haven't been cheerleading. That's why I can't be a cheerleader. Because I can't hold the baby and get in that pyramid. And classically, everyone's busy during the big game, so that's why nobody can watch your child. I think I'm like an orphan in a pickpocket.

That's Oliver Twist. You're confused. Can I also say something in terms of what these guys are trying to help us with is to get away from Magic Tavern? Orphan sounds very much like orc. Oh, okay. So I'm stepping on it. You could be Oliver Twisted Tea. That's sort of the euphoria version.

Okay. I'm a goblin. Oh, no. And and first of all that would have been great last time and these guys are probably like okay instead of just being like we thought of a goblin oh amazing great timing what if i so i play myself In the fantasy version So then when we do The euphoria version I play a fantasy thing And then I'll play

A euphoria thing In whatever's after that One step behind Yeah Yeah Okay But as a choice You can be a goblin

Okay so Archie's a goblin Yeah A team goblin Goblin of a lot of the air time And it just Spit bullshit Team goblinlin of a lot of the airtime and just spit bullshit. Teen goblin.

I do a lot of drugs. I do stuff my parents wouldn't even guess. I like that. My parents have no idea what I'm doing, they think. I like the goblin parents being like, Archie, we called over there and you weren't there. And do you do like magical drugs? Just like different

goos and stews? Goos and stews. I started with goos, but that was the gateway to stews. You could get high on the melted faces from Chernobyl. That could be like what? You smoke. That, yes. If Mel

Tapatio is a kind of young drug dealer and can just kind of melt a little bit of his face. Let's back up to drug dealer. Or directly into your mouth. Do we have to choose between Euphoria and Chernobyl? Can we combine them into one? I don't give a shit what you do. That's kind of what I was just doing.

If we really look at it. Yeah. Kids eating queso turns out to be melted. There's also the succession route, which I don't know how popular succession is, but I feel like that was a pretty strong show. Right? Coming back for season two.

Well, these kids are going to be having suck sessions. That's going to be in there. Got to have a suck session to succeed, is what they say, yeah. Brett also, I guess,

if we're reporting any of our old parody show, has to be in there as well. Do you have, like, a teen baseman identity? I'm Zendaya, by the way. I'm Roger from Doug. You're Roger Klotz.

Yeah. A nice leather jacket. Bit of an attitude. Shaved. Hey, Doug. Fuck off, bitch. I think he just called him funny. Why don't you fuck off? People forget that Nick at Night I think he just called him funny. Ain't funny.

Why don't you fuck off? People forget that Nick at Night was your beloved shows, but with a little bit of edge to it. Yeah, it was just the same Nick shows from the day, but it's what they're like at night. The All Real Monsters had realistic genitalia. Roger Klotz during the day, his last name was- Eureka's Castle became a brothel. Roger Klotz during the day Eureka's castle became a brothel

Daytime Roger was K-L-O-T-Z Night Roger was C-L-O-T-S Brett, who's your guy? Probably like Todd from Beavis and Butthead Classic Nickelodeon show That's what I was watching. I didn't get Nickelodeon. What was Todd like?

He had sort of a... He kicked ass. Yeah, he would like... He would kick down the door and then usually with his... Sometimes with his motorcycle, like literally driving his motorcycle through the door. Usually pin Beavis up to a wall. You're the only engineer who doesn't drive a motorcycle.

Do you ever think about that when you pick your teen identity? That's a good point. That you're the furthest thing from Todd working at Earwolf? I think my personality is more? I think my personality is more, I think my presence maybe is more Todd. Like the motorcycle is implied. He doesn't need like these other guys to actually

have a physical motorcycle. It's kind of pathetic to actually ride a motorcycle. If you are like an actual motorcycle guy you'd never touch one no is there anything in the works with elon in terms of motorcycle that provides the same sort of horniness yeah again that's the catalyst for horniness so that like the advantage of that is if you sort of sit on it right the the butt plunger is like less of an issue uh you can like

get your butt like facing up just enough so the plunger is coming off of it. And other than that, it's just a normal motorcycle. That catches fire like all the rest of the products. Kevin, do you have a guy? Amanda Vines from The Amanda Show. Hey guys, Chef Kevin here. Oh no. I guess if I have to come with a reference hey guys chef kevin here oh no

i guess if i have to come with a reference to like a really relevant like young hip show i guess i'd have to say like i'm dobie gillis like that seems appropriate for being 22 year old

mel tapital right yeah i guess yeah if you are dobie gillis so what kind of stuff is dobie gillis up to oh you know in the basement he's trying to like yeah if you are Dobie Gillis so what kind of stuff is Dobie Gillis up to oh you know

in the basement he's trying to like find a cool sweater to put over his button up shirt and just go on some fun dates with ladies

cause he just falls in love so easily man pick something at least pick something cool like Maynard G. Krebs yes that's kind of a euphoria thing yeah you're right is that crab.

Yes. That's kind of a euphoria thing. Yeah, you're right. The mere mention of work to the euphoria children. Or if you're going to be Debbie Gillis and put a sweater on, make it like a Donald Sutherland Animal House situation. Yeah, tops no bots.

He's got the sweater on, but then his butt is exposed. And every time he reaches up in the shelf for drugs we kind of get a sneak peek this is why i'm here because i don't know how to do this stuff i need a lot of guidance i'm really stuck in uh just being a magical person and i i don't know how to be a teen anymore i've lost my way i'm really sorry you guys i really just blew it i blew it would it be fun fun to also focus, just to set ourselves apart from Euphoria, would it also be fun to focus pretty heavily on the classroom in terms of there's a lot of these characters sitting silently

just digesting information? Yeah, I don't mind that. So that the audience learns along with them and then so it's school and then my catchphrase is like homework

yeah mine is sorry I'm late okay yeah your show is a passive school experience but then the last five minutes is like

drug basement like total party everyone unwinds as a reward As a reward. As a reward. Yeah, you've earned it. It's recess. Yeah, you did all class.

That could be cool. I think Todd's presence could be an issue. I could see him being very disruptive. And some of Chef Amanda's characters. What's some of the stuff that you're going to be doing? Well, she had a show in the girls' bathroom called The Girls' Room. Okay, so now we're getting at sort of the meaning behind the choice. Yes.

It's like, why did Kevin remember that so readily? Well, I guess if I'm Amanda, I guess I'll have to set up a whole studio in the girls' bathroom. Hollywood Handbook. Well, there's a reason they call me the March Maniac. I get maniacal around this time of year because March Ma-Ma-Ma-Mania's

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life can be ridiculous but you know what's not funny getting ripped off and harry's agrees so what we want to talk about today with sorry you said harry's or harry i said harry's we always talk about harry's first and then we talk about you clean harry uh who are sort of our new noted mask i don't know no taken for this campaign talk about harry's first what we want to talk about is something funny that happened to you recently great a ridiculous or fun situation that you were in okay recently that's the prompt and that'll take us into discussing the product particularly funny the product funny to me or funny to just anyone i i mean do you you feel like there's a difference there like you yeah i mean i've had

things happen to me that i suppose you would find funny okay but that you didn't find funny and and you have not really and you have things that have happened that you would find funny but the rest of the world would not yeah i guess i'm interested in that one that i would find funny yes but that others would not find funny you seem to think that you have like a specific taste when it comes to what's funny or ridiculous that is not i ordered uh um like a scented spray for my pillow to help me sleep at night like a lavender scent okay and uh they accidentally sent me two okay so you understand that most people would not buy that funny or ridiculous but but you but you do i just had a little chuckle about the mix up at the at the shipping uh warehouse harry saw customers getting screwed over by questionable that's a come up overpriced

shaving product harry on the come up i decided to do something better instead of charging the same stupid high prices harry's found their own way double scent bottle beautifully designed razors for a fraction of the price of other big brands except bogo baby exceptional products honest prices i don't is there a bogo as part of this because i don't want to be like talking about no but that's what happened that are no but i clean harry punk harry's two bottles buy one get one their deodorant their lotion their body their hair gel, all very high quality products. They all smell great. German engineer blades made in their own factory. They stay sharp longer.

You get a five blade razor, weighted handle, foaming shave gel, and a travel cover for just three bucks at harrys.com slash the boys. Highest customer satisfaction in the shaving industry no risk trial don't like your shave no worries it's on them getting ripped off isn't funny do you want to hear what happened to me that you might find yes yes sure but that you didn't yeah so you're attuned to to this stuff i got my foot stuck in the dryer at the laundromat and it somehow turned on. And you know that that was something other people

would find funny based on the responses you were getting. A lot of people inside that laundromat seemed to find it pretty humorous when my legs started spinning around and flipping me over. What happened was I was holding my laundry basket with both hands and I saw, ooh, still a sock left in the dryer. So I stuck my foot in and tried to pick it up with my little toesies. I wear sandals.

Punk. And as I'm picking it up, I just sort of tripped and my foot got wedged in between there's like slats in there and stuck inside there and then i don't know who somebody pushed the button or what but it turned on and the thing starts flipping over and i'm flying in circles help punk help me you punks are your clothes staying in the basket are you going fast no no no i'm wearing all of them by the end of the cycle get started with a 13 trial set for just three dollars at harry's.com slash the boys that's harry's.com slash the boys for a three dollar trial set

okay so let's do it should we we do just the beginning of the show? Okay. Okay, so what did you guys used to do? There's like a little song and stuff. There was a little song. There was like a theme song. Some fucking song. Yeah. Like Fife music or something.

Yeah, a little Luton Fife, and then it went into like a classic intro for Marnie, just kind of putting, we always put forward the full premise of the show up top so that people know to either turn it off or weak. So I'd start with like... We didn't even say the name of our show this week.

Think about that. I literally think about that. I think we did but even the fact that we don't know is cool. But if you don't say the name on the podcast, how do people know where to find it? So, yes. How are they doing a sound search for the show name?

But that's what's cool. We like text searchers. That's who we cater to. All right. Hello from my euphoric basement. I'm a goblin. I'm Goblin Goose and Stoose. These are my fellow teens and fuck buddies.

Go ahead and introduce yourself. Is that Jinko Jimmy? I had Jinko Jake. Jimmy sounds better. I am Jinko Jimmy. No swimming for me. And I'm Chelsea G. Krebs. And I'm a teen mom who loves drugs and hates homework.

I'm going to go to the fridge and get some pizza Lunchables. Anybody want anything? Yeah, dick. So squeeze it? How's it going? So far, it's too similar to our podcast already. It's not different enough. It's going to bring in anybody new, certainly.

I'm playing a goblin, so that's different, but everything else seems a lot like Hello from the Magic Tavern. Are you playing a goblin? That's a great point. You really need to throw yourself into it. You said you're a goblin, but are you playing a goblin? Well, look, I'm not doing a stereotypical goblin voice. The answer is no.

Can we try the classroom setting, maybe? Sure, sure. All right. Hello from my euphoric classroom okay so you're a teacher now shut up sit down goblin i'll just get out of here and do some drugs fucking class hey don't say that i'm a teacher now look this chalkboard is insane to me. Look at this fucking thing. It's huge.

Can I have a bathroom pass? Shut. Shut it. You just said you're going to go do drugs, and now I'm going to give you the bathroom pass? Teacher, is perception really a subject? Okay, you can go to the bathroom. Watch out for Amanda in there.

She's recording everyone's movements. This sucks. I'm going to go get some smokes. Why does he get to have a motorcycle in class? I predicted this. I knew this was going to be an issue. That doesn't make any sense from a motorcycle in here. Also, when he reclined on his motorcycle, the condom hit me in the face.

That's right. It fires condoms out the exhaust pipe. What was that metal horse he rode out of here on? That's not a guy. You have horses. Oh, wait. I guess that's right. I'm on Hayes' side still.

So that's better than your show, but it's still not good. Maybe as close as we're going to get. Should we see what maybe the real show is in the bathroom? What's going on in the bathroom? Jinko Jimmy was headed in there. If he gets too wet in the bathroom, he will drown. Because his jeans get so heavy. Welcome to the girls.

Who's in here? Who is this? Don't watch me shit. My eyes are closed. Who are you? My name is Jinko Jimmy. I just want to take a dump in peace. Hi, I'm Chef Amanda.

Don't make fun of me if I keep my shirt on while I shit. I'm really self-conscious about my body. This guy keeps his shirt on while he's on the toilet? Yeah, everyone calls me shirt shitter. That's disgusting. You wear clothes on the toilet? I mean, that's disgusting, but I'm hitting that subscribe button. I'm curious about it.

Shirt on, pants on, underwear off. The clothes are so close to the poop. It's good character development. You have to hang it all on the door. Okay, there's no interview component? You have to hang it all on the door. Okay. There's no interview component. So, where are you from? Here.

Same. Just in town, yeah. Neighborville. Do you do drugs? Only if I've done my homework on a Friday night. And from very far away, you hear me go, homework. So, what is your hearing like? I have off the charts, crazy hearing.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. This is called PCP. The drug or is this interview portion? Both. Okay. It's people's cars and places where I'm going to name a person.

Ooh, a game. Yes. Um, a car and a, and a, and the other, the third one. And if you don't guess it correctly. Then you squeeze my man boobs. No, then I do PCP. Ooh, the stakes are high. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Um. I have to guess if it's a person, car, place. Yes. Oh. The stakes are high. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I have to guess if it's a person, car, place? Yes. Okay. Lincoln. Car. Person.

And car and person. Fuck. Okay. Take it. And it's a place. It's a place too. Where? Lincoln, Nebraska.

What? You fuck. You killed me. You fucking sucker. What? You fuck. You killed me. You fucking sucker. The show's over. You're telling me there's a place called Lincoln, Nebraska? Is that where they say all roads lead to Lincoln? No, no one says that.

Okay, we will schedule a time to do this again. Absolutely. We will get it. Should we right now just maybe do 45 minutes on Watchmen? Or his dark materials? Yeah, I'd do Watchmen. So for Watchmen, are you going to then be a horny teen? No, I'll be a horny teen.

I don't mind that. Yeah. Can we just see a snippet of Arnie as like a horny teen? Catching a glimpse of Dr. Manhattan's fucking blue hog. Yeah. Can we just see a snippet of Arnie as like a horny teen? Catching a glimpse of Dr. Manhattan's fucking blue hog. Yeah. You're a horny teen. You saw Dr. Manhattan's hog, and now you're taking a Rorschach test, and the therapist is trying to see what you see.

Do I have to do every part of that initiation? The Rorschach test is like actually just seeing whether you can sustain his fists. He's testing your ability to endure violence. That's a Rorschach test in the Watchmen world. Hello from a reboot slash reimagining of the Watchmen universe. I'm your host. I think if you say that, we'll be in legal trouble. It's a shitty title. I'm your host. I think if you say that, we'll be in legal trouble. It's a shitty title.

Bye. Hollywood Handbook. That was a HeadGum Podcast.